Hi! I am looking for someone to help me write calligraphy/ fancy font addresses on envelopes for ~30ish wedding invitations. Willing to pay like $20-30 depending on time/ supplies used, but also open to negotiation since I’ve never needed this done before. Please comment or DM if you think you can help!

Bird & Bow #4 - Jailbird Rock
Black Canary's Beginning: Green Arrow’s Beginning
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Book: Bird & Bow
Set: 97
Arc: Changed for Good
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Rosa Dillon was not what Dinah had expected. After her time in prison, it seemed like the young woman had definitely turned a new leaf, which was why the two women were out at a gaming bar playing Dungeons and Dragons.
It was the fourth week in a row that Dinah had tagged along, and she was starting to understand the rules and ideas behind the game. Rosa had invited her to actually play at the table, but Dinah was already having trouble keeping her current three lives separate and wasn’t keen to add a fourth - even if it was only make believe. So Dinah sat at a table by herself in the corner, playing a game of solitaire by herself while she kept one eye on the metahuman.
So far Constantine hadn’t lived up to his ominous threat to remove Rosa from the protection of Green Arrow and Black Canary, but the two heroes had also removed all other external surveillance. Only Dinah remained between Rosa and the Star City Slayer.
Things had been relatively quiet on that front since Rosa came out of prison, and both Ollie and Dinah assumed it was because Stanley Dover had his eyes set on Rosa and was trying to figure out the best time and place to go after the metahuman.
Her weekly outings to play DnD were one of her most vulnerable moments. Dinah was sure he’d strike soon. A loud cheer from Rosa’s table made Dinah’s eyes flick up assessingly - but it seemed like someone had just rolled really well and the table quickly returned to its usual hush as the leader reigned in the players excitement with the next story hook.
A lithe body pulled into the seat opposite her, but Dinah didn't lift her eyes to acknowledge his presence. She knew he'd come in twenty minutes ago, and had slowly made his way around the space, talking and flirting until he came to her.
“Fancy a game of blackjack?” Ollie's voice was somehow different than both his Green Arrow and regular voice that she was used to, causing her eyes to snap up.
Sitting before her was Oliver Queen, notorious playboy and multimillionaire. She tried to reign in her glare. They hadn't discussed this. Hadn't planned for their public persona to meet like this, or at all.
Ollie tapped her clenched fist gently. Eyes softening. “Trust me.”
Two little words, with her whole world resting between them. Even though the world knew Black Canary was out and about doing her thing, having Dinah Lance be a public figure was not an idea she was particularly fond of.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Dinah nodded, earning a bright, dimpled smile from Ollie.
“Now about that game of Blackjack.”
-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<---
Three weeks later Ollie continued to push how much she trusted him. He had dropped by the gym where she trained and worked sometimes, feigning a need for lessons to protect himself.
At least he'd been smart enough to let her pin him. Again, and again, and again. Dinah smirked just thinking about it, pretty sure that Ollie had been trying at least a little bit in that last match.
But so far, no matter the fact that he was Oliver damned Queen, no news about their meetings had leaked to the presses. Despite his notoriety, it seemed none of the gossip journalists were interested in discovering more about the girl from Seattle who seemed to have captured the playboys attention.
Perhaps they were just waiting to see if it would last. Much like Dinah was. After every visit she was sure he had lost interest, that their professional relationship was going to fracture because Ollie decided he didn't want to play any more.
And she was right in one regard, Ollie was no longer interested in playing. He was determined to make the relationship work in the long run, which meant their public and their alternate identities had to start coming together naturally.
They continued to keep surveillance on Rosa, but even they were beginning to admit that it looked like Stanley Dover, The Star City Slayer was no longer interested in her.
There had been two other killings in their time watching Rosa, and they had debated long into the night whether it was worthwhile maintaining their watch. They had decided the extra killings were a means to get them away from Rosa. At least that was what they were secretly hoping.
-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<---
Another week. Ollie knew he had to ask her out properly. He knew attention was beginning to pique, and the fact that he had paid off reporters to stay quiet until now had stirred even greater attention.
He had never protected any of his previous……friends. But he knew how Dinah felt about her privacy and was going to extremes to try to keep his notoriety from affecting her life before she was ready.
So, for the first time, Oliver Queen had a plan to woo a girl. It was a new experience for him, but one that he was enjoying thoroughly. Knowing what they could be together, knowing the life they could lead kept him pushing every day towards that goal.
The plan was simple. He would just……ask. He would talk about the future he saw for them - in the least intimidating and creepy way possible - to prove that he wasn’t just in this for a fling, that he wouldn’t put their working relationship at risk for anything but a future with her.
That was the plan until the two of them had received a mysterious text from an unknown number.
The Star City Slayer has been dealt with. - C
They had stared at the text for what felt like hours before Dinah turned on the TV in Ollie’s apartment. Stanley Dover’s death was all over the news. A suspected heart attack, the man was being touted as a hero for his work in the foster care system. Noone guessed who he really was. Noone made any comments about the fact that 2 of his foster care kids had been targeted by the Star City Slayer. No-one made the connection.
Except for them.
Neither of them really knew what to do from there. Ollie made a quick call to Rosa, to see if she had seen the news. The young woman was a mix of relieved and sad. He had been a father figure to her after all, and despite what the two heroes had claimed, there wasn’t exactly substantial proof that he had been wanting to harm her - or anyone else for that matter.
The heroes left the woman to her grief.
Ollie wasn’t sure where his glass of whiskey had come from, or when he and Dinah had settled onto his couch. The TV had long been turned off.
“Would you ever want to go public?” Dinah asked quietly, her own glass of liquor swirling as she stared at its contents. He was surprised she was drinking, but if any occasion called for it, it was this one.
“I don’t know.” Ollie mused after a long moment. “I don’t need the extra recognition. Don’t feel like anyone knowing it’s me really helps anyone.” He shrugged. “Plus there’s the company and my mom to think about. The good guys knowing is one thing, but everyone else...” He shrugged again, letting his voice fall off.
Dinah nodded slowly, her eyebrows furrowing as she thought. “I think I’d like at least one version of myself to be able to do more than I am right now.” She said quietly. “Black Canary is great, don’t get me wrong, but, how many people can I really help? Dinah Lance is just a no named nobody who won’t even get a mention in the obituaries unlike some of us.” She tipped her glass towards him as she spoke.
Ollie considered for a long moment.
“I don’t think Dinah Lance is a nobody.”
Dinah looked at him quizzically.
“She’s one of the most important people in my life at the moment.” Ollie continued, his voice quiet. “And if she’d let me, I'd like to take her on a proper date.”
There. It was done. Ollie felt the sweat drip down his brow as he waited. Time stretched and bent as his heart raced. Had he ruined everything?
“Where?”
One word and all the air he had been holding in rushed out in a quiet breath.
“Restaurant Christine. The one on 56th.”
Dinah inclined her head thoughtfully, her blue eyes locking his green ones for a long moment. Searching for answers. He only hoped he was giving the right ones.
She bit her lip. “Papparazzi?”
He cringed slightly. But he’d always known the public aspect of his persona would be a problem they needed to navigate.
“They will come unless I pay them an exorbitant amount of money.”
She nodded, taking an absent-minded sip from her glass. “Ok.”
“Ok?”
She nodded, once, resolutely. “Ok.”
-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<---
Dinah stared at the handwritten note from her mailbox.
She hadn’t been home in a few days, spending most of her time with Rosa or Ollie. But now that the case had been laid to rest….Well, it was time to return to some semblance of normal.
She had pulled what felt like a month's worth of junk mail from her letterbox, sorting them into the appropriate piles of bills, junk, and other. Nothing usually went into the other pile unless it was her birthday and her dad had sent her a letter.
People just didn't really write letters any more.
But someone had. Fine calligraphy scrawled over the page elegantly, whoever wrote the letter obviously practiced in the art. The paper smelled faintly of jasmine, but that really did not provide as much information as the wax seal pressed into the back. A crest of twelve swirling ribbons twisting and twining into the shape of a tree.
Dinah repressed the urge to open the letter immediately. Instead, she opted to inspect the paper with a magnifying glass, cutting a tiny sample to test for traces of illicit or dangerous substances. As she swirled the tube with the sample inside, waiting to see if it turned pink, blue or green, Dinah continued to stare at the crest.
After another minute, the tube stayed clear. That did not necessarily mean the letter was safe, but the only way to determine that now was through opening it. She pondered for another moment before sending Ollie a quick text. If anything went wrong he’d be here in less than 5 minutes. Most things took longer than that to kill a healthy adult.
Passing a sharp nail through the crest, Dinah popped open the letter. Breathing a shallow breath of relief when nothing popped out at her. Her eyes scanned the calligraphy, barely noticing when Ollie opened her door and came to stand at her shoulder.
“I got one too.” He mumbled. She nodded, having expected as much.
The Twelve in Silk have seen all you can do. We have watched from the shadows as you beat our sister. No longer will we sit idly by. Be waiting for our next calling card Ms Lance.

I’m getting a surgery in a month or two that is going to make me bed ridden for a bit, and was thinking about getting into fountain pens. Heard that the lamy safari is good, but would love to hear other recommendations. Also, how is the waterman allure, it’s in a local staples that I visit.
I write and use my right hand for most things, and understandably my right hand is more coordinated than the left. I was thinking that I could teach myself how to write with a fountain pen/ calligraphy with my left to help with the coordination. Also I think it would be cool to have one hand for normal writing and one for fancy writing lol. Obviously this would harder, but would I smudge all of my writing and would there be any other obstacles I should be aware of?

There has been a lot of talk about jury instructions in the hush money trial. I thought that a mix of satire and fact would help clarify. Share your thoughts.
Satirical Jury Instructions
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, welcome to the most exciting civic duty you'll ever experience. Today, you're here to decide whether the defendant is guilty of that riveting crime known as falsifying business records. Let's break this down into some entertaining legal jargon, shall we?
Elements of the Crime
To convict our esteemed defendant of this fascinating crime, the prosecution must prove each of the following elements beyond a reasonable doubt:

1. Act of Falsification: The defendant scribbled some creative fiction in the business records of an enterprise. This isn't a bestselling novel, folks, it's supposed to be a ledger.
2. Intent: The defendant aimed to deceive, which is a fancy way of saying they weren't just practicing their calligraphy.
3. Knowledge: The defendant knew that the entry was as false as a three-dollar bill.

Definitions

• Business Records: Those boring documents that businesses keep to make sure they know where their money goes. Think of them as the diary of a very dull person.
• False Entry: An entry that is untrue, misleading, or would make an accountant weep.
• Intent to Defraud: The intent to pull the wool over someone’s eyes and laugh all the way to the bank.

Evidence Consideration
You must consider only the evidence presented in this courtroom. This includes witness testimony, exhibits, and anything the lawyers managed to sneak past the judge. Remember, gossip from the break room doesn't count.
Reasonable Doubt
The prosecution must prove the defendant’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. This isn't "kind of guilty" or "probably guilty." It's "guilty, guilty, guilty!" If you’re still thinking, “Well, maybe…” then you must acquit.
Verdict
Your verdict must be unanimous, meaning you all have to agree. Deliberate nicely with each other, avoid any fistfights, and make sure you reach a collective decision based on the evidence and the law. If you need a break to watch some daytime TV, let us know.
Final Instructions
Remember, the defendant is presumed innocent until proven guilty. This isn't like social media where everyone is guilty until proven innocent. The prosecution has the entire burden of proving the defendant’s guilt. The defendant doesn't have to prove they're as innocent as a saint.
So, enjoy your time deliberating. Think of it as a group project where everyone actually has to participate. And please, don’t make your decision based on who brought the best snacks.

Hello, I'm casually learning punjabi and I've gotten into a few languages casually, I really am a pen-on-paper person, so in my beginning stages, I love to see how handwriting differs and is the same. Clean, messy, all good! In fact more variation the better!!
When I look on youtube for this kind of thing, all I see is fancy calligraphy, and nobody's jotting a note like that, come on...
Thanks for anything!

Thank you to the lovely u/sugarmagandjohn for this incredibly thoughtful gift <3
Written cards: 11
Blank cards: 14
This is loooooong overdue, as I got this package the 12th of January (which is good timing, as I'd been gone for Christmas) - anyhow... life threw a couple of curveballs my way, and I simply haven't had the time to properly sit down and write this. However; it's here now!! It only took me 4 months :,D heres an overview: https://imgur.com/a/xtnU5Yd
Now, the contents of the box was a bit jostled, so some of the stick-it notes were misplaced, and I found some loose ribbons and such - I will try my best to illustrated how beautiful this all was, so let's start :)
The mail arrived in a big brown box, which has gorgeously illustrated houses in white, with blue accents, and a bunch of intricate details on the houses themselves! It is also surrounded by snow, which fits the Christmas-y theme that will become apparent soon~
The address was written on a memo-note page, with illustrations at the bottom of Charlie Brown, Lucy van Pelt and Woodstock making snowmen! This too is covered in snowflakes~
The very first thing I saw, when I opened the box, happened to be an origami heart haha ~ it is yellow, with illustrated Christmas elements; such as a Christmas tree, ginger cookies, candy canes and santa on the front, you wrote "Merry Christmas JJ", along with hearts :D
The second thing I noticed, is that everything was covered in green silk paper, with illustrated peppermints (those white and red ones, that kinda swirl) on it - once I pulled that back, it revealed a row of fairy lights, shaped like stars, with a note on the switch! The note is shaped like a ribbon, but with a red Christmas star (flower) being the central piece, followed by a beige and green + gold striped swallow-tailed ribbon tails. You used a green pen to write the note, which asked me to turn on the lights before opening further. It reminded me of Christmas mornings, when all the lights are off, except for the string lights around the Christmas tree - truly magical :,D
And the fairy lights were bright!! It resides on my shelf right now: https://imgur.com/a/YLZGebG
And this is what the package + interior looked like: https://imgur.com/a/hB2IaPn
One of the things I didn't mention about the box, is that you wrote "warm wishes" on it, with a green pen - but you wrote it in norwegian! Which is super cute, but warm wishes is not a saying in Norway haha, so it is just directly translated (but seeing how influential English is to the Norwegian language, I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a saying here too :) )
One of the things I fished out was a fishing pole! The ones for cats :) it looks like this: https://imgur.com/a/MKsjU3N
And I gave it to my sister, since she's the one that has Leo, and I was cat-sitting back in February, and this is the aftermath: https://imgur.com/wjR3cAv
He really loved it haha - I tried playing a bit with him, but he was being lazy just then. However, fishing poles with feathers is his FAVOURITE toy, so that was a perfect choice :D thank you!!
Since I dont really know where to start, I'll begin with the cards~
Heres the written cards: https://imgur.com/a/4r3z8TH
As for the written cards, a few of them are placed in other places, so one of the letters I mention later in this post (i didn't write this in chronological order, I usually never do haha), but let's start with a really interesting card: it's wooden!
The wooden card was placed inside a Christmas bag with red handles and illustrated with christmas candies~ the card itself has a hole in the top corner, which has a string of hemp rope attached through it so it can be hung up! It has "Santa express" printed into it, and has a red wooden 3D stamp frame, where you drew a green pine tree in the middle :) along the outer edge, you drew a red and green striped pattern, which mimics the red and blue striped pattern used for mail! And you wrote a really sweet message on it with a blue pen <3 thank you love!!
The majority of the cards, however, were strapped together with a red and green ribbon ~ tied to them was a plastic candy cane, which is so cute!!
The first card was a postcard, with an autumnal illustration of a couple stading among orange leafed trees ~ the backside is covered in orange hearts, and you wrote a neat message with a pink pen! You also included a few red heart stickers <3
Continuing the autumnal vibe, the second postcard feature an illustration of an orange hued landscape, with a sunset, mountains, pine trees and a serene lake~ you wrote on it using a pink pen, and included a sticker of a cat wearing a pilgrim buckle hat, along with an orange circle-shaped sticker with "hello autumn" written on it. Along the bottom, you placed a thin blue washi tape, which was filled with small golden leaf illustrations :)
And as for the third postcard, it continued the orange theme, with a girl walking in a field of orange grass and poppies~ you used the same pink pen, and placed a matching washi tape strip along the bottom, but this one is broader! You also included a sticker of a dog and a cat, both dressed up in pilgrim attire and surrounded by pumpkins - and you added two more circle-shaped stickers in a sort of red/brown and tan, which featured illustrations of a pumpkin pie slice and a mug of some hot beverage :)
The next card was placed in a brown envelope - you wrote "Happy autumn JJ" on the front of the envelope with a red pen, and you sealed it using two stickers: a lavender and a yellow square sticker with "hello beautiful..." written on it :D
The card is a beige, double-sided card with an illustration of a person holding an orange umbrella, standing next to a golden retriever ~ there's brown text underneath the pair that reads: "I miss you most of all, my darling, when autumn leaves start to fall...". The inside is decorated with autumnal stickers of: a pumpkin pie slice, 5 oak and maple leaves, an acorn, an orange flower, a mug of hot cocoa and a scarf~ you used a neon orange and wine coloured pen to write down some autumnal tunes :D thank you <3
In a true autumn fashion, you covered the next envelope in a bunch of autumn-based stickers and washi tape! Along the bottom, you placed an orange strip of washi with white illustrations of various leaves - this was accompanied by a deep blue, broad washi strip filled with illustrations of woodland animals, as well as flowers and logs :) you also added stickers of: pumpkins, a cluster of flowers, a bear holding balloons, more pumpkins, as well as two cats and two dogs dressed in pilgrim outfits! Theres also a sticker with the words: "you're the pumpkin to my pie" written in a shiny gold colour~
You also wrote "Happy thanksgiving JJ" along with a bunch of hearts in green, orange, yellow and red :D the colours are so fun!
And at last, you sealed the envelope shut using a plastic wax stamp with a clear design, with flowers and leaves in the middle~ the inside of the envelope is golden btw, which is so pretty!!
The card is a crisp white, double-sided, with branches filled with maple leaves (or some kind of acer tree) hanging above the words: "Though miles apart seperares us," in a shiny orange/bronze colour! The card has orange diamonds glued to it, and a bunch of the leaves are 3D, made out of orange plastic that is slightly see-through, so you can see the layers! The inside is filled with illustrations of the maple leaves, as well as stickers you included: a pressed yellow flower, a group of orange helenium flowers, and two butterflies in the polyommatus and lycaena families (weve got a lot of these at the cabin, here's some photos I've taken of them: https://imgur.com/a/XmkXxEP) - there's also pre-printed text in a deep red colour, which continues the sentence on the cover of the card, and it goes: "what is most important is always close in our hearts... family, friends and love. Happy thanksgiving" - you also wrote a very sweet message in a green pen underneath the text :D
The next card was placed in a white envelope, where you wrote: "even when skies are grey, you light up my day... :)" which is super cute <3 you also included a Christmas sticker featuring Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, and you sealed the envelope with a matching sticker!
The card features a very cool picture of a girl, standing with a dog, looking out on the ocean while they're being framed by the nature surrounding them - what makes this picture so cool, is that it was created using paper and real flowers and branches! It's like a multi media design, which makes it cooler cause it gives the effect that everything pops out of the image~ you wrote inside it using a blue pen, and it was accompanied by a gift you made for me - I talk more about this gift later on, but it was a bookmark youd made for me using the quilling method, and it is simply stunning!!!
Most of the cards you've gifted me were autumnal in tone, but you also included a very christmassy design! It was placed inside a red square envelope, which you decked out in stickers and washi ~ at the bottom, you placed a thin red washi with a tan criss-cross design. It was accompanied by a thick white washi strip filled with ornamental Christmas baubles! Above it was a sticker of a deer, along with 3 pop-up stickers of a christmas tree, santa and some balloons~ in the top right corner you placed a sticker of a wreath, which is next to a sticker of a snowflake, as well as a red banner with gold details and "a very merry christmas to you" written on it! With a green pen, you wrote "Happy Christmas JJ" :D
The backside was decorated with two Christmas tree stickers, along with shiny green letter stickers to spell out: "you are beautiful"~ and at last, you sealed it using a green wax stamp with a Christmas tree on it :) the inside of the envelope also reveals a deep green, with illustrations of candy canes and Christmas baubles scattered about!
The card itself is green, and features an illustration of a mouse, leaning up against a Christmas tree with a ladder, reaching up with a Christmas bauble to hang! It has gold details in the string lights, the packages, as well as the gold text that reads: "merry Christmas" ~ at the back of the card, there's a sticker sheet filled with candy canes and Christmas baubles!
The inside reveals a bigger picture of the cover art, and showcases a pop-up of a Christmas tree, with 3 mice decorating the tree! Theres gold text on the right that reads: "decorating the season with fun! Holiday stickers included!" ~ you accompanied the card with your own message :D it's such a cute card, and I love how content and happy the mice look as they're decorating the tree together :,)
And so, inside of a red envelope with a green flap, which has a white square on the front to allow for writing, along with illustrations of toys, presents and santa running along with a list, are some letters! You wrote on the envelope with a gold pen and sealed it using a white wax stamp sticker with hollies in the center~
There's two letter, both with a swanky shape, gold border, and an illustration of santa, with the sled, and a bunch of forest friends in a snowy landscape ~ thats accompanied by the text: "Christmas is coming!" In gold lettering! On the other side, there's a red and green border, with more illustrations of presents and santa scattered about ~ you wrote in these letters using a green pen - as for the move "Christmas as usual", I did watch it! I watched it when I was in Singapore visiting family, and I gotta say, it was passively aggressively racist oof.. but otherwise, a lot of it is true for how norwegian Christmases go, although I've not gone ice bathing, because I have no desire to spend more time out in the snow than I need to haha! I spent my Christmas in Singapore, with a mix of norwegian Christmas dishes (kålrabistappe and pinnekjøtt mainly) and fish for me, as well as some other dishes that... could be a Singaporean thing, or just random dishes. We also had rosenkål/brussel sprouts, and idk if that's a Norwegian thing or if everyone have it for Christmas, but we struggled finding it in the store haha! We also celebrated with caramel pudding and ginger cookies with non-stop on it (which is our brand of m&ms or smarties). We then opened presents, and my brother and I hid in his room :)
We also played mahjong and watched the second spiderverse movie lol
And now.... the blank cards!! The majority of the blank cards you gifted me were placed inside a red and clear coloured plastic bag, shut with a circle-shaped sticker with a Christmas tree on it, and you can see the cards here: https://imgur.com/a/w81sPZC
The first card is a white card, with an illustration of a unicorn on it, along with a rainbow and various hearts and shapes~ it's dotted with colours, which you can paint with water to fill in the blank spaces!! Thats such a cute concept :D
Also, speaking of cute, you gifted me a tiny Christmas card with a "naughty, nice, undecided" checklist box on it, where you can check the corresponding box for said person you send it to :) you also gave me a set of letters and envelopes, which are showcasing an illustration of bears riding a roller coaster in the nightsky!
And you gave me a small square card with a grey background, and black illustrations of planets and the stars with "the universe always has my back" written on it!
You also gave me a card of a cluster of pink gemstones, a postcard featuring a closeup of knitted snowmen, a postcard featuring a love quote, two destination postcards of the californian coast and Big Sur (the big sur one is also glittery!!) Also, random tangent, but "sur" means "mad/angry" in norwegian, so everytime I read big sur, I just keep thinking big mad lol. You also gave me a postcard featuring a field of flowers (mainly poppy and cowslip), a Christmas card featuring a painted llama with a Christmas hat and scarf, a card featuring Crater Lake National Park, Oregon, as well as one of elephants at twilight in Botswana~ and at last, a cream-coloured postcard with a colourful quote that goes: "when something goes wrong in your life, just yell "plot twist!" And move on.", words of wisdom haha!
As for stickers and ephemera, you gave me a TON, as you can see here: https://imgur.com/a/l8U1fLh
Most of it was placed inside a plastic ziplock bag with the sanrio character "my melody" on it~ most of the other stickers etc were placed inside a blue pouch with gold snowflakes on it, and an illustration of santa next to a snowman :) it was shut with a sticker with red ribbons sticking out of it, and showcasing an illustration of a girl in the woods with a glowing deer!
I'll try to keep this brief, because there's a lot to go through here, but let it be known, I was blown away by everything and I love it all so much!!
You gifted me: a gingercookie tag, circle-shaped stickers with christmas themes, a sticker sheet of cats wearing santa hats, a sticker of santa, a reindeer, santa and a reindeer carrying the presents, a bear wearing a Christmas tree suit, a mug of hot cocoa, two mugs, a snowman, a Christmas tree, a stack of presents, a rocking horse, nutcrackers, 5 more Santas, gnomes in a window exchanging presents, two more Christmas tree, a santa bear holding presents, 5 Christmas themed circle-shaped stickers, 5 Square Christmas themed stickers (all of these left room for writing on, so they work like tags!), a gnome carrying presents on a trolley, a few more Christmas tag stickers~
As for sticker sheets, you gave me: a sheet with goldfish, two cat sticker sheets, hearts/plants/doves, fancy letters, cartoon-esque characters, pop-up and textured norwegian stickers, 3 Rilakkuma sticker sheets, a sheet with two bears and a rabbit, 5 Sumikkogurashi sticker sheets, 4 sheets of bears/hearts/fruits/rainbows/flowers, a sheet of fairy kittens, a sheet of various stamp-looking illustrations, 2 sheets of cats, bears and mice dressed up in various outfits, a bunch of colourful wax stamp stickers, as well as a ton of colourful circle-shaped stickers! And you also gave me three big cat stickers that I immediately put on the front cover of my sketchbook :)
Along with the stickers, you also gave me some ephemera paper items, such as: 3 Christmas patterned sheets of paper (white with illustrations of holly leaves and berries, a snowy town, and a small town from a birds perspective), as well as 5 smaller Christmas themed papers in various shapes and sizes, which I will be using to decorate future Christmas presents~
Aaaaand, you also gave me two Christmas quizzes!! One of them was trying to match a language to the words "merry christmas" in different languages - I managed to get all except for 3 correct, which is astonishing cause I'm terrible with languages :‐) the other quiz was giving vague hints where you'd guess which Christmas song it was referring to, and I don't know the names of enough Christmas songs to be any good at it lmao - but they were really fun, thank you!!
Inside the package, you also included heaps of snacks! The snacks can be seen here: https://imgur.com/a/FxnC92a
There were 3 small candy canes inside, which I love, they're such a nice Christmas treat and brings me back to one special Christmas when I celebrated with a friends family, and their tree was filled with candy canes, and they let me take as many as I wanted :D
You also gifted me a clear box filled with champagne gummy bears, which were adorable~ and inside of a Christmas themed plastic baggie, shut with a red circle-shaped sticker with green ribbons, and the words "Holiday cheer. Wishing you a very merry christmas" in gold, was a chocolate bar! It's a peppermint and marshmallows themed chocolate bar, which is such a fun combination - seriously, you find the strangest and most intriguing chocolate flavours!!
Inside white silk paper, shut with a green Christmas sticker, and left with two square Rilakkuma notes, where you wrote in a green pen "sorry it's so late" and that "you bought it for (me) on halloween" is a Halloween themed pocky stick box!! You know I love Halloween, and honestly, there's never a wrong time for Halloween themes stuff <3 thank you love :D
You also put another type of chocolate bar in a red and blank coloured plastic bag, which was shut using a bunch of cat stickers wearing santa hats ~ the chocolate bar is a gingerbread based chocolate from chocolonely, and the bar itself was shaped like a Christmas tree, so if you broke up the bar, you could even hang the tree up, thats so cool!!
And then you gifted me a a whole 'merci' brand chocolate box, which was filled with various flavours! It was packaged in a beige and gold silk paper, and tied shut with an elastic thin red rope~
Continuing on the christmas theme, you placed three hot chocolate bombs inside of a red plastic bag, shut with a red and white spotted ribbon :) and inside a green and red&white peppermint themed silk paper, shut with a red velvet ribbon, was a kinder chocolate calendar! I love a good chocolate calendar, cause I've got such a sweet tooth haha
Speaking of sweet tooth, you gave me two sugarfina chocolate bars, which were designed to look like Santa's attire, with the classic buckle belt - as well as Mrs. Clause, with an apron. It was cookie dough flavoured, as well as peppermint hot cocoa flavoured :D
Also, the cutest thing ever, you gave me a bear shaped pastery?? It's so cute!!! You placed it inside a red baggie, shut with a red circle-shaped sticker with "treat yo elf" written on it :,D
As for odd things I would never think of getting, or even finding in the first place, you gave me Hello Kitty themed edible wafer paper ~ they're shaped like hello kitty donuts, topped off with bows, and I really want to do a hello kitty inspired muffin party, using these :) i have no clue where to buy edible wafer paper around here, so this is really fun!
You put a bunch of fun treats inside a deep green baggie, filled with christmas-themed illustrations, which also features a small window to sneak peak, and shut with a blue circle-shaped sticker with candy canes and "sweet" written on it! Inside were two "seattle chocolate" chocolate bars that were white and dark truffle flavoured :o there was another chocolate bar of the same brand, but this was peanut butter flavoured! The designs of the chocolate bars were great fun too ~ you also gave me another chocolate bar, this one a plain milk chocolate :)
Along with these chocolate bars, you gave me: a hot chocolate bombs on a stick, an apple strawberry dried bar, a kinder joy, and a durian mochi! I really enjoy trying so many cool new flavours and textures, and I loved going through all the fun stuff you sent me <3 so thank you!!
And as for the last of the snacks, you've supplied my hot beverage supply <3 all of the tea and hot chocolate was placed inside a plastic zip bag, which had a soft blue colour, with snowflakes all around, and the characters from Winnie the Pooh dressed up for Christmas :) inside was a sticker of a cup of tea among a stack of books~ and ofc, a bunch of tea!! From "palais des thés", you gave me: green tea with jasmine, rooibos with vanilla and almond, oolong with flowers and lemon, herbal tea with mint leaves, and organic black tea from Assam and Yunnan :D along with these was a tea of vanilla rooibos, and a black Christmas tea~ from "four sigmatic" you gifted me an organic cacao mix with reishi mushroom, and at last, you gave me a packet of hot cocoa from Starbucks! Thank you so much for all this tasty joy!!
You also gifted me tons of cool items, and the selection feels personally curated for me, which is so sweet :,)
I'll start in no particular order, just based on what I picked up first :)
One of the gifts was a calendar! It is a soft yellow, featuring an illustration of kirroitori's muffin café~ the inside is illustrated and designed around the cartoon characters present on the cover, and it is super cute!!
In a similar vein, you gave me another calendar of the same sort, but featuring the rilakkuma characters having a tea party :D the inside is colourful, and the pages present the characters on the cover, chilling and having fun :) they look like this: https://imgur.com/a/aKZyux7
Speaking of calendars, you gifted me a wall calendar thats Californian cost themed! The pictures are gorgeous, and it's just such a pretty calendar :,) it looks like this!: https://imgur.com/a/QdLO5pM
Along with all of the wonderful gifts, you gave me two different types of candles!! I hecking love scented candles, and these come in such cute boxes :,D
The first one i picked up was placed inside a Christmas themes plastic bag, tied shut with brown hemp rope :) it's a cedar balsam scented candle in a silver tin can, and it's so cute!!
Here it is!: https://imgur.com/a/a91wdP3
The other candle is inside a bronze coloured tin box with a flip lid, a rectangle shape with the cutest library design! It is a Jane Austen themed candle (or as it says on the back, a tin austen) and it's jasmine scented :) it's hand-poured and I love it so much <3
It was packaged inside red, white and green plaid coloured silk paper, and tied together with a red ribbon that's sort if bulbous? With various bubbles, which reminds me of those seaweeds you can pop! This is what it looks like!: https://imgur.com/a/rUA2nEv
Next up are some more authowriters based gifts!! They were packaged inside a soft yellow coloured silk paper, with gold details of geometrical circles and stars ~ it's from a winery apparently haha :) it was tied together with a thin red fabric ribbon! Inside were two items - a "PopNotes" sticky note dispenser, which comes out of a blue typewriter, as well as a pocket mirror with a flip lid! The mirror is blue, and features a quote by Oscar Wilde ("To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.") And a plant watering itself~ the packaging the mirror came in features a quote from his collection of thoughts "only dull people are brilliant at breakfast", which i only know because i read it this year, and I read a Good Reads review where someone said that Oscar Wilde would be on twitter if he was born today, and honestly? Yeah lol. The quote on the box isn't visible on the photo, cause I think it was on the back? It was this: "you should either wear a work of art, or be a work of art" - anyway, here it is!: https://imgur.com/a/w0TnX1x
The next item was also a gift for Leo, my beautiful boy! It's a star-themed harness for cats ~ it's a silky deep blue with shiny gold stars and moons, which is just so cute :,) I mean, look at it!!: https://imgur.com/a/EjFchVC
It was placed inside a Christmas themed plastic bag (which also features a cat, how fitting!) - you placed a white sticky note inside, where you wrote a note about taking Leo for a stroll, with a baby blue pen :) the plastic bag was shut with a washi tape, which was plaid patterned, a red, green, cream and gold!
And now... for the ROCKS. You gifted me a beautiful amethyst, along with a note, letting me know it was an amethyst (let it be known, I found the note jumbled further into the box than the rock lol, but that's the natural jostle of mail for ya!). And along with the amethyst, which was wrapped up in lime green silk paper with white & red peppermints on it, were two slim agates! Theyve been coloured a hot pink and a deep purple, and in the center, a gold eagle and gold wolf has been painted :) they're super pretty <3 take a look!: https://imgur.com/a/GnvKbSI
And here's some super cute stuff you've gifted ~ they were all placed inside a sanrio inspired pouch, along with all the stickers and other fun stuff :) heres the items: https://imgur.com/a/c05lri3
Theres a magnet sheet, featuring the bears of Rilakkuma (and the chicken) - you also gave me two magnets of the line friends, the bear and rabbit carrying hearts <3
Theres a keychain of a san-x character, Sumikkogurashi, which has the big yellow cat, wearing a flower crown (or in this case, flower collar?) - it also features a tiny grass dude, with tiny little feet :,D
Theres also a pin of a tokidoki unicorn wearing witchy gear ~ it's so shiny and pretty! And they've solved a big pin problem, which is that they always shift and move due to the weirdly distributed weight, so they added two pins to the back :) and finally, a keychain of two sanrio characters! Two kids flying on a star, with a nice shiny purple chain~
Thank you!!
The next item is a very gorgeous tea towel :D it was placed inside a plastic pouch with a clear side, and a red side, with gold and white snowflakes scattered about :) it was shut with a blue hexagon sticker, with a gold border and green ribbons sticking out from the underside - in the middle is an illustrated deer! The tea towel was placed inside a cotton stringbag - the towel itself is so pretty!! It features a map of California, with various illustrations of certain "trademarks" of the various places in California, like the red woods and bears! It also features a small description of the state, and the state bird~ it's just so nice looking, with the soft colours and vintage feel, just look!!: https://imgur.com/a/2KROhfy
Next up is a little fella! You gifted me a penguin plushie wearing a red hunters hat (the ones with the flaps), a trapper hat! His name is Luke :) https://imgur.com/a/UhbUzur
He's currently chilling with all my other stuffed toys lol
In a true bookish fashion, you gave me a bunch of different bookmarks! Theres 4 in total, and they're all currently being used or being put on display ~ the first one I saw was the Winnie the Pooh one! It was inside a plastic covering, with a brown tassle and an illustration of Winnie and Piglet walking in the woods, along with a quote that goes "it's so much more friendly with two" <3 the second bookmark i picked up was also inside a plastic covering - it features an agate inspired rock (purple), with a purple rope going town into a tassle with gold details ~ it's super pretty!
The third bookmark had a red ribbon attached to it, and it was a red and yellow electric guitar inspired design! It's super cool :D
The final bookmark was hand-made by you, and it is beautiful!!! It's made using the quilling technique - you gave it a wood border, with a soft beige background, and with coiled up paper in mesmerising curls, you created a 3D flower with white, yellow and green paper! You also attached a silver sibbon at the top - it's too pretty to be used and im terrified of breaking it, so for now, it's on display on my shelf :) it's super thoughtful that you wanted to incorporate my favourite colour, it's genuinely perfect <3 here they are: https://imgur.com/a/4tFNgub
And now, the coolest Christmas bauble I've ever seen, look at this!!!: https://imgur.com/a/f0Yohip
It's a clear bauble, and inside it is sand, seashells and a yellow plastic bucket :,D on the outside, there's a print of an otter and "Monterev, CA" written on it ~ due to the oils of the sand, it causes the inside to have a sort of rainbow film, and it is just so cute and precious :,) this too is on display on my shelf, because my Christmas tree is one that reaches up to my knees, and was gifted to me by my friend because they thought my lack of Christmas decoration was sad haha! I'll likely not put it on the tree though, because I'm terrified it'll fall and break, so on the shelf it stays! All season, all holidays! Thank you :D
Now, this item brought me back to primary school haha - it's scented chapsticks! With scents such as: tropical punch, watermelon, vanilla, oatmeal cookie, cotton candy, mango, strawberry and kiwi ~ they're bright obnoxious colours and they're PERFECT. I've never been the kind to use chapsticks (although, I should), but these always hold a soft spot in my heart as a kid who loved scents and colours to the max <3 it's extremely nostalgic and a warm feeling swells in me when I look at the brightness and pure delightful childishness they exude, and the smells!!! I still love scents, it just brings me so much joy to smell stuff haha :,) here they aaaaare: https://imgur.com/a/serMDtb they were wrapped in a red plastic pouch, and shut with a circle-shaped sticker with an elf on it, and the words: treat yo elf"~
Going back to the more artsy stuff, cause you always supply me with the greatest art supplies, pens!!! All kinds of pens! And speaking of scents, you gifted me a scented pencil :D it's blueberry scented, and features a pen with a white and blue design, with snow and penguins and snowmen, super duper cute and a delight to my senses!! As for stuff that brings me back to my childhood, this funky pen you gifted me thats a baby blue, with a snowglobe at the top! It contains glitter snow with a silver angel in the middle ~ ah, when I was a kid, we'd get small gifts in our Christmas calendar, and I'd get these funky pens which did various stuff, like: i had one with a soft tennis ball on top, and I could pull a lever and the ball would bounce off (though it was attached to a string). I also got a pen with a mini glass hand boiler! Youd put your fingers on the bottom part of the glass, and the blue liquid inside would start going upwards (it had two bulbs, shaped kinda like an hourglass) and when it reached the top part, it'd start to boil :) i still have that pen, and it still works! So yeah, these pens are really tugging at my childhood nostalgia haha :D
Along with these, you gave me a calligraphy pen (ElegantWriter) which is super sleek ~ and you also gave me a 12 pack of pencils with gorgeous colourful floral patterns!! The colours are so nice and pleasing to the eye <3 I love a colour bomb :D all of these were placed inside a deep green plastic bag with candy canes and santa hats on it, tied with a velvet red ribbon, which is just adorable (I love all the various ribbons and bows you used!) Also, I really love all the pencils you've gifted me over the year - I've genuinely used up all of them cause they work excellently with drawing haha!
The pens don't end here, because BAM a six pack of jelly roll pens!! Theyre colourful and flow so well, what a treat!! I adore colourful stuff... it makes me unreasonably happy haha :) it was placed in a clear plastic bag, featuring santa and snowwwww ~ the bag was shut using a blue sticker shaped like a Christmas tree, which had "merry christmas" and "Happy Holidays" written on it in white, neat-o!
The final pens, because THERES MORE, were packaged in santa silk paper (theres more than just santa on it, there are christmas trees, but we both know who the real star is), and tied together with a shiny green and silver ribbon, seriously, where DO you find such beautiful ribbons?? You got such a range! Anyway... the pens inside were colourful fineliners from the sharpie brand, and they're smooth as butter, and all the gorgeous colours that make me very very happy <3
All of the pens and pencils can be seen hereeee: https://imgur.com/a/emToRGb
The artsy stuff doesn't end here though, because we've got memopads, sticky notes and colouring paper, and wow! We don't do Christmas presents much anymore in my family, and due to some family conflicts, I doubt we will celebrate together next year, so this feels like such a thoughtful and warm hug of a gift. I would like to articulate exactly why this makes me so emotional, but it's hard haha ~ it just feels like you out so much effort into getting stuff personalised for me, and I've never experienced that before :,)
Anyway, going off the rails there for a second.. theres 3 different sticky notes! One is mermaid themed, with mermaids inside a shell, each mermaid its own stick-it note, which i thought was creative!
The other two are themed after characters from "line friends" and "bt12" - both are designed similarly, with two different designs: the top one being shaped after a character, with a soft pink background and a slightly deeper pink lime-art. The bottom design is a soft rectangle with the characters in the bottom right corner - one is purple, the other is turquoise, and both are absolutely adorable!
Also, I spoke too soon, because there MORE sticky notes - these are more like stick-it tags that you use to mark books etc ~ they're pastel coloured, and will be perfect because I've wanted to annotate a book that a friend of mine likes, but I couldn't find any good tags!
Next up is a three-pack of notebooks + one blank book! They were inside silk paper with a plaid design in red, green and white ~ it was tied together with a red and silver ribbon which has a fun design, like... the edge is ridged, and it has silver circles in the middle! The books are white with black-lined illustrations with gold details. The designs are of: a peacock, greenery with beetles and bugs, and a jungle with macaw parrots! They've been made in a way that allows for the lines to be coloured in, which is such a fun idea :D
You also gifted me a memo pad with two super cute designs: both are simplistic, in very rustic and soft colours, one featuring a cat stretching, and the other being a chicken being scooped out of a piece of a cake - I've seen you use them before, and you've gifted me some before, and I love them so much, so thank you!! I love the colours, they scratch an itch in my brain :D
Along with this memo pad, you gave me a collection of decorative paper, which feature pastel-coloured lanterns, and which allows for you to write on them, like a cool decorative letter~
And at last, you gave me a massive watercolour pad!!! It was inside the same red and green plaid silk paper, with a gorgeous broad, red, silk ribbon - and it was accompanied by a letter! The letter was inside a deep green envelope, with a shiny red wax stamp, with "merry Christmas" stamped into it :D the other side of the envelope left a big white square, with gold details, where you wrote "Happy Christmas JJ" with a gold pen~ inside was a letter, which was shaped funkyyyy. I'm not even going to try to explain the shape it is, just take a look: https://imgur.com/a/P7saicc
Anyway, it features a Christmas tree made out of tiny illustrations in green and silver, of various Christmas-themed stuff, like deer, trees, ginger cookies and gifts! It also had a green and silver border ~ and you wrote in the letter with a red pen :D heres the actual notebooks, memo pads, stick-it notes and watercolouring paper: https://imgur.com/a/39mPXcQ
And now, for the drum rolls, because this is the cutest stuff ever - you MADE ME earrings, and they're dream catchers!!! I need to reiterate, you CREATED THESE by HAND for ME!!! I dont even know if the holes in my ears are still holes or not, but it doesn't matter, because I will treasure these to the end of time <3 I'm just all mushy about this sweet gesture - they're just so pretty and just... the care and thought put into them?? The effort?? I dont deserve anything you've given me, and yet you keep putting in so much time and effort and all this beautiful dedication that makes me feel like the most special person ever :,) aw man, the whole thing has made me very emotional. I remember when I received the package, I just immediately felt baffled, because I find it off how such a beautiful and wonderful person could pick out someone like me to bestow such beautiful handcrafted gifts, and everything is just so meticulously placed and chosen... ah, it makes me weak. And teary, it came at a very detrimental part of my life. I can only hope that I can give a little something in return to make up for all the wonders you've conferred me - you're just such a wonderful person, obviously not just because you've been so generous, but also because you just... are!! Everything about you is honey sweet, and you remind me of the smell of rain, during the mornings of summer when everything is soft and warm. You remind me of the wind swaying grass softly in a field, and the softness of snow falling gently from the clouds. I read a book recently called "the secret life of bees", and the soft feeling of the main character living in a pink house, helping along with the beehives, getting sticky from honey, wading in the river and having soft conversations when the sun is setting on the hot summer evenings were exactly the sort of feel I get about you. Soft, gentle, sweet, and yet someone who packs a punch, someone who has hidden secrets and surprises. I don't think I can really ever put it into words.
Anyway... I'm far past the limits of how long I can let a post go on for at this point, haha! Heres what the earrings looked like, just such a beaut: https://imgur.com/a/UbSC9UR
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For a moment I am shocked. If I had expected anyone to be here, aside from the Librarian herself, it would be Ricardo! But I guess the world is trying to surprise me today? Then again, considering the rumors, miss Pelafina wasn’t that much of an outrage either.

Then it hits me. What does she mean ‘took you long enough’, huh!?

“She was waiting for y—”

Yes I get that part! Was this whole deal a game for her?

I take my first steps towards her, a little indignant and I feel it is justified, but then I notice something in the corner of my eye. Movement. I immediately turn on my heels to face it: there’s shades of black in the darkness, at least in one spot. Soon, a figure steps up from the corner of the room, dressed in a long black cloak, dressing pants and elegant shoes. The hood covers their head and some magical darkness obscurs their eyes, but I can see a few locks of green hair slip from underneath the shadow.

The figure lifts a hand, they are even wearing black gloves! That’s some commitment to the bit.

“Yo. The name is Lucía. Sorry for skulking around but it is kind of my job; I assume you already know Overseer Pelafina?” She smirks. “She gets around! She said she was waiting for a Bastard to arrive but, Hell, we thought it was just an excuse of hers to skip work!”

“I am very responsible, excuse you.” Pelafina frowns, shaking her head softly. “Ignore Lucy, dear. She’s just my assigned guard, here to keep me safe!”

Her assigned guard? So she IS with the Cloaks after all! I mean, if the cloak she’s wearing wasn’t indication enough. I don’t like her, not one bit. She’s smiling too much, just balancing on her heels and toes while I stand there. I don’t wanna say I hate her, we’ve barely exchanged words… but I don’t like her. Not one bit.

I decide to take Pelafina’s words to heart and ignore her, when another thing hits me.

“Overseer Pelafina!? But you’re just the lady from the bookstore!” I think my eyes are going to jump right out of my skull like in one of those old cartoons.

“A girl has to move up in this world if she wants to survive.” The old lady chuckled, just a little bit. “You know my name, but I never truly caught yours though. How do we call you, dear?”

Fuck, here we go with names again… but hey, maybe this is a great chance to build a new identity for myself!

“People call me Tav.” I say, trying to puff up my chest a bit.

“That was not what she asked though!” Lucía intervenes with a singsongy voice.

“Oh let her have her own nom de guerre, Lucy. It’s adorable!” Having these two messing with me is really going to be bad for my health. I’ll have to endure it though. “Alright then, Tav. If you’re here, I assume you managed to read through the book at least a bit?”

I flinch. Just how much does this woman know? Did she know the contents of the book from the start? Is this a weird ‘Hero’s journey’ situation? A mysterious adventure she has sent me into so I grow as a person?

Or is she just fucking with me.

“Well? Don’t keep me waiting! It’s been days!” Pelafina insists with a twinkle shining in her eyes.

“... I have a few words translated.” I managed to say.

“Oh great! So Humiko left you hints. That’s great.”

“Miss Pelafina–”

“Please, just call me P.”

“Uhm. Miss P.” I gulp. “Just how much do you know of the book, exactly?”

“Well, Humiko asked me personally to keep it safe, so that’s one thing.” The overseer counts with her fingers. “I know it is written in Magic Runes, which… shouldn’t be possible, and yet, there it is! I trust Humiko enough to know it has to be real.”

“Wait.” I blink. “What do you mean ‘shouldn’t be possible’?”

“Magic is not a language, or at least it hasn’t been understood as one until… well, right now.” The old lady smiles a bit wider. “If you manage to make more sense of it than a few phrases, you’d be making history, boy!”

Again with the damn gendering… I frown a little bit but, try not to make it too visible. I gotta focus.

“Yeah, get it together. This is not the time for your ridiculous whining.”

Sigh.

“So you know what the book is, but you don’t know what it says.”

“To be honest, I am not really sure what it is either.” Pelafina admits with an embarrassed grin. “All I know is that it is a project Humiko had for a long time already, and according to her express instructions, the hints could only be read by a sleeper.”

I haven’t really checked if I can no longer check Humiko’s note in the book, so there’s homework for when I return.

“I am sorry we put this on you with deceit and all, but would you have really believed me if I said ‘You have to study magic’ just like that?” The old lady shrugs. “It was necessary, and if Ricardo could see the potential in you, then this was surely the correct choice.”

“Is Ricardo an Overseer too?” I feel like that is a sensible question.

“Oh heavens no, he’s a Sleeper. Not a word of this to him, you hear me?” P’s gesture grows severe for a moment. “I don’t want him involved in such things at his age. He had enough adventures already.”

I guess the rumors of Ricardo being a world-trotting adventurer are also true. Huh.

“So. Tell me, what did you learn?”

She’s very eager… I can notice Lucía’s gaze on me, too. They are both very, very eager.

“This doesn’t make sense.”

Right? It’s all wrong.

The book’s first warning was to avoid the cloaks, and yet here’s P! Just hanging out with this one, talking about the book like it’s nothing!

Well, if it’s true that she doesn’t know the contents, I can lie through my teeth!

“Well… I’ve learned a few characters. Do you have somewhere to write?” My body suddenly relaxes, my demeanor tightens. I may be bad at many things, but lying? I was born lying in this world and I can keep it up no matter what.

“Ah, sure. Lucy!”

The guard walks up to me casually, offering me a fancy black leather notebook decorated with a golden apple and a silver arrow piercing it. She even opens the yellow pages for me, and provides a cheap plastic pen.

I nod, and quickly begin scribbling.

I scribble ‘Tlo’i’, ‘Golthoi’ and ‘Thako’ with their respective symbols.

“There. These are the ones I’ve learned.”

Lucía looks at me dead in the eye for a moment. I can feel the sharpness of her wit, she’s trying to read me… but it will be useless. I am in a dissertation now, bitch. I’ve been doing these for years, it’s my one skill.

“Interesting.” Lucía nods.

“So, what do these mean?” Pelafina approaches us to check on the symbols. “Terrible calligraphy, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.” The confidence abandons me for a moment, before I puff up my chest again and begin talking. “The first one is the word for ‘Butterfly’. The second one is a word for the action of turning something on, the third one… I am not sure yet.”

“When used on a spell, it makes the effect happen upon touching the glyph.” Lucía knows. “It’s a very common one.”

“Glyph?” I tilt my head.

“She means a combination of Runes, dear.” P smiles warmly. “Alright, so ‘Butterfly’, ‘Ignite’ and ‘Touch’, then?”

I never said ‘Ignite’ for Golthoi, but I guess that is a interpretation of it?

… Interesting. That these things have different meanings in different contexts, would that affect casting?

“Ah, I also found this.” I draw ‘Jo’ in the book. “Does this mean anything?”

“That one is used to counteract spells. If you draw this in a Glyph, it cancels its effect.” Lucía seems happy to provide the knowledge I lack.

I actually appreciate it, for it immediately made something click in my brain.

“It means ‘No’.” A voice whispers in my head, my own voice.

Yes. It’s a negative. That’s why it isn’t so common on its own. When added to another symbol, it negates it. ‘No-Light’ must be a way to say ‘Darkness’ or such… or… backwards, ‘No-Darkness’ equals ‘Light’.

Would this be dependent on the culture?

I smile a little bit to myself. This knowledge I will keep up my sleeve for now.

“What’s that smile for? Did you see something new?” Lucía is way too sharp to keep that smile from. I have to make something up quick.

“I realized I now know how to counter spells. That’s so cool…” I whisper to myself, channeling some of that wonder into my lie.

She seems to buy it, for she immediately focuses on correcting me.

“Knowing the Counterspell Rune is not enough, there are other factors to consider, so don’t go around trying to counter every spell so quickly.” She give me a smile I really dislike.

“Hmmm… well, that’s plenty for now,if that is all.” Pelafina shrugs softly. “It is quite late already… go back home for now, Tav.”

“B-But. I have so many questions!” I immediately pout. Saints damn it, so close to learn actually useful stuff!

“Yes, but sadly I cannot teach you. As the Overseer, I am bound by oath to remain neutral and not show favoritism for anyone.” The woman shrugged. “So, I can’t really teach you much. But, if you identify more words, I can definitely give you a few more pointers!”

“Fine…” A defeated sigh escapes my lips. So I’ll have to buy knowledge with knowledge, hmm? I look at Lucía for a second.

“Nope. I am too young to teach.” She immediately denies me.

“Tsk.” I look down… but then, an idea comes to me. Just a confirmation I need to get. “Can I check more stuff online? Maybe there’s resources out there…”

Pelafina frowns, looking at Lucía and waiting for her to explain. She eventually does, with a sigh.

“The process of getting on the internet as a mage is hard. You need a special router and everything, it’s honestly not worth it.” The guard shakes her head. “If you want, we can provide you one next time. But really, there aren’t many resources online for this… mages are isolationists, usually.”

Ah hah! So they don’t know of the forum! Alright then, that’s another point to my advantage.

“I don’t think I’ll need that, I have enough with mundane internet thank you very much.” I chuckle a little bit.

“I never got the so called ‘interwebs’ to be honest.” P grins. “Now, off to bed you go. Shoo, shoo. Remember coming back here at night, alright? That’s when it is nice and empty.”

Honestly, a nice and empty place to try and translate sounds fine to me. But I can just do that at home…

Besides. These people are dripfeeding me the information I need, so they are probably not trustworthy in the slightest.

I feel a little bad for not trusting Pelafina immediately, but…

“She threw you into this mess without consent.”

“Yeah, fuck her.”

Right.

“Alright then, I am going. Thank you again for everything, miss P!” I fail to hold back a yawn as I turn around and stand on the stairs. They… are still going up. “Uh.”

“The other stairs dear, there’s a magic escalator down.” Lucía tries not to laugh at my face, and fails.

“A-Ah, thank you.”

With a heavy sigh, I take the right escalator this time and disappear down the stairs. Looking at my clock, it’s already three in the morning…time to sleep for sure.

With some luck, the pillow will make this all make much more sense.


As Tav finally disappeared from the Elysium, and the sound of a closing door echoed through the room, Pelafina let out a little sigh, shaking her head.

“This isn’t going to work.” She commented, crossing her arms. “This girl is no good.”

“She seems smart enough. The type to keep notes….” Lucía suggested, her smile growing slowly.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Well. If we give her a few months and turns out she doesn’t make any breakthroughs, we can always… you know.”

“I don’t.”

“We can take her stuff.” Lucía finally said. “Just erase her memory and take the book and the notes back! With some luck, she probably took notes of the hints.”

“...Lucy, you’re diabolical.” The old crone chuckled loudly. “Ohhh, I guess we will get our chips back no matter how this gamble goes, then!”

“Of course! But I still don’t know why we can’t just go to a family of Mages and put this on their sleeper child!”

“That bitch Humiko probably thought of something like that.” A grumble escaped from the old lady. “This is our safest bet.”

“Well, I am just saying. If this experiment of yours doesn’t pay up, I may have to talk about this with the rest of the Coven…~” Lucía’s eyes were, for a moment, fully visible under that hood, brightly green. “And you know the captain wouldn’t like you skulking around with unapproved knowledge.~”

“Oh shush, you won’t.” Pelafina seemed quite confident of this. “Not after coming this close to finally finding that bitch…”

The overseer sighed, looking up to the fake stars for a moment while rubbing her hands together. What was this she felt? Anxiety?

“... It has to work, Lucía.” She finally said. “It has to.”

“What if it doesn’t though?” The guard tilted her head.

“It has to… it is our only way to free our King from his cell.”

“Welp, let’s hope this girl works fast!”

“I know. After all, King Hamil isn’t a patient man.”

Just wanted to share my perspective on the whole legal/ethical thing around pirating wares. Possibly to also see if people like me are common, to see what others would think.
Sure plenty of people have asked the age old question of why we pirate. Black and white answer is that we don't have money/can't or won't pay for it but need/want it. But life is oftentimes more complex than that.
In my case, yes as a teen 15yrs ago I pirated games and warez and rips of movies and music because 1) kids don't have much to spend, and 2) we don't have credit/debit cards to even use. What I got was knowing my way around using usenet, torrenting, p2p sites and the like.
Fast forward to today, as an adult with a job, yes I can and I did pay for services such as netflix, spotify, playstation plus, etc. Because it was easier to access a lot of media on demand at your fingertips.
Covid happened and whole economies gone out of whack, lost my job when I was barely about to complete probation, and now it's just the catalyst for a whole lot of other (socio-)economic problems faced today. Hard to keep a stable job, health conditions arose (making the former worse), and what little savings and investments are gone trying to tide through the times of no employment, living in a fcuking expensive city.
Of course those subscription services had to be cut. But that's not so much of a problem. I just use adblock on youtube and hope that what I want to watch/listen to is on there somewhere.
Consuming media on YT is piracy? Eh, that's debatable. So I don't think in this context it counts.
The problem arise when you, sick of being fucked by shitty companies paying shit wages and treating you like dogshit while the usually incompetent management gets away with their bonuses intact and salaries uncut, decides to use your skills for good and try being self-employed.
If you're a cook, great! If you're a crochetist, sure! If you do fancy arts and crafts and calligraphy things or whatever and sell them on the gram or etsy, wonderful!
But unfortunately for me, I am more "digitally-inclined". I work with photoshop, illustrator, craft videos in premiere or vega. It's what I have known. Sure I can use "free stuff" but if you ever played a "free to play" but "pay to win" type of games you'd understand the frustrations. Except in real life the consequences are dire. Look cheap and you're not going to get much clients, if any, at all.
I paid for Adobe CC until I couldn't. I paid for Office 365 until I couldn't. I paid for a lot of stupid subscriptions because that's how money hungry corpos trap you to be their slaves...
Now, it's time to grow out a black beard and get a parrot because there is no hope trying to live like a "normal law-abiding citizen" only to be screwed over by the people in power. Nay, it is time to hit the high seas again and be a pirate, no matter how much richer I'd get or how much loot I plunder!
Why pay to the coffers of eviler men when you can pirate!
Piracy Is Freedom. Piracy Is Life.

Timely as ever, I've received some wonderful mail from some wonderful people. Thank you all for the lovely notes this week, they were a pleasant surprise and much needed!
u/Rennbrig - Your stationary is so cool! I especially love the envelope liner and fancy embosser :) Also definitely noticed the 4/24/24 at 4:24 haha (nice). Plans have changed a little since my last essay, so I hope you don't mind another response headed your way xD Thank you for the kind note, serial hobbyists unite!
u/josanne916 (x2) - Thank you for the California postcards! I love your handwriting!! What kind of pen do you use? I love the calligraphy effect it has! I was also not prepared for the mind bender that we're already past 120 days into the year. It's basically Christmas and I'm feeling woefully under-prepared. Cue the spiral haha. Perhaps our paths will cross one day! :)
u/mediocre_Radish_7216 - Thank you for the beautiful card and stickers!! If people are around, there will always be drama. It is a universal certainty hahaha. I loved the unrequested life story! Now I must know what the drama was xD I'll have a proper response out to you soon!
u/ninajyang (x2) - Thank you so much for sending me another congrats card and I'm sorry again for the address goof up. I really love your stamp! Would you be willing to share where you had it made? Thanks again, and wahoo 100!!!
u/melhen16 (x2) - Thank you for the card replacing my lost one, and I'm sorry again for the address goof up. The stickers are super cute, and I love the card you selected!

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Chapter 3 - Seen and Unseen

Everrain, a city that earned its name for a reason. The light pitter of rain a constant companion in this town where the wind makes a curve, in the most literal sense. Aren stares out of the window of the car at the distant cliff edges that capture and redirect the wet, warm winds from the Burn and hold them just long enough to cool down into precipitation, the timeless and unchanging nature of the planet ensuring the rains are all but perennial.
The gentle sound of the rain echoes from above as they enter the city proper, the glass overhangs covering most of the streets shielding its residents from the heavenly assault and creating part of the beauty which attracted tourists to this strange little town. Ultimately, the trip to the local precinct is short as there is little to no traffic and soon enough the personal vehicle has parked across the street from the exterminator precinct.
Swallowing a deep breath of cool, misty air as they step out, Aren silently leads Marik towards the precinct and into it. Inside the environment causes him to instantly fold back his ears in worry, past the front desk and deeper into the offices there is the clear tension and whispering of a case being discussed, which means something had recently happened. He simply waits at the front desk until someone, a fellow venlil of the younger variety, finally comes up “Good paw- Oh, wait, are you the ones from Blackriver?”
Aren tilts his right ear forward “Yeah, is it a bad time?”
“Nothing that should get in your way. The chief’s office is on the second floor, take a right” he points to the stairs at the back end of the office before opening a small barrier allowing the two entrance inside.
Aren keeps his ears attentive as they walk towards the back of the office, catching some whispers of what was the current situation just in case- “Missing person report?” he comments to the man behind him
“From the sounds of it, they’re trying to push it over to the police instead” Marik comments as they reach the stairs
“Well, good to see the division of labor is finally starting to stick”
The trip to the office was quick “Ah, you’ve arrived” Tiri’s voice squeaked before they even knocked on the door. Taking the sound as permission to enter two join into the rather unusual office, in addition to the expected desk and couple of shelves containing the usual decorations of honour there are actual cages in this office. Six rectangular glass cages containing controlled environments, decorated similarly to the flora outside, and within each of them is a single gandri. Five of them are burrowed under piles of fallen leaves, one of them has their belly up towards the ceiling, limbs spread out around it “So, anything in particular you need?”
Aren takes a seat gently, Marik similarly does removing his rifle from his shoulder in the same motion “No chance of having access to the body of the last dead, right”
“No, that’s been a while ago. Recent, in the grand scheme of things, I tried to get the family to allow us to keep the body or at least give him a proper burial but- They’d rather it be cleansed, so”
Aren shrugs “Have to respect their wishes. Has there been any unusual occurrences, then? Sightings of unusual people, people with strange habits?”
Tiri tilts back in his chair “Hrm… This is a tourist town, so we do have consistent eccentrics, but…” he squirms for a moment, before bending back forward muttering something, the noise of fabric making it quite clear why “We have Rey, no idea her real name, weird iftali lady. You see her scavenging around town sometimes, tries to stay away and will talk your ear off if you let her.” he tilts his right ear horizontally and makes a dismissive wave of his right claw “Good at hiding, you can see why, yeah?”
“Harmless, though, and a local fixture so not unusual. We do have a few minority species around here, especially in the construction crews. You know, those species you see maybe one or two in the whole planet? What else…” he taps a claw gently against his chin “Right, Sutev knew the last victim. Worked together often. Silverstar Travels, ‘round here” he reaches forward and presses a few buttons on his computer before turning the screen around to show a map “Works there”
“I heard about a missing persons case on the way here” Aren adds, having already pulled out his holopad to write notes “Mind telling something about it? Just in case it’s related”
“Hrm… Mavir, venlil, grey furred with black spots. Last known location was checking in for work at the office building across from Cloud Inn. I doubt it’s anything to do with this- Or rather I hope it isn’t.”
Aren offers nothing more than an aggressive upwards swipe of his tail in a shrug “Given our luck…” with a short sigh he stands up and looks back down at his holopad “Alright, I suppose we should start off with Sutev”
Soon enough the pair were back in the car, driving under the glassy shielding until a stronger shadow passes over them. On the side of the street, a small group of four people were working around a bucket arm truck performing maintenance on a pillar holding up the glass awning over the street. Not soon after they finally reach the chosen destination, parking the car in a small garage in the front they make their way into the short building- Silverstar Travels.
Inside they’re welcomed by the melodic arpeggio of a flytser as the door opens, and the room spread before them shows itself to be distressingly colourful. Between posters, memorabilia and advertisements there were signifiers of at least fifty different planets in here, from Colia to Earth to Leirn to the gojid cradle, though the last one’s representation was only in the form of a sculpture of an ancient tree, whose base had been decorated with a red silken bow.
“Bit of a tradition in travel companies for… Locations that suffered such a fate” the voice of the man behind a desk draws Aren’s attention “Some find it distasteful, personally, I think it’s important to remember” who is presumably Sutev is sitting down, analysing the two exterminators that had just come in “From the badges I figured you’re not here to find out where to spend your vacation time?”
Marik waves the tip of his tail at Aren and walks over to the door, resting his back against the doorframe. At that, Aren sighs and walks over to Sutev, giving him a friendly wave “Sadly. We came to talk about your coworker”
“Runkar?” the silvering venlil sighs, stretching back on his chair as Aren takes a seat before him “More like boss, he owned Silverstar Travels… Speh… And he left it to me, the idiot…” tail swiping left and right in some uncertain display of emotion he continues “Sorry… We opened this travel agency together early on, when the idiot run away from home with just the credits on his account. Of course, no warm-blooded fissan would stand to have a minority share… Not like he kept the money, though, just liked to have his name up front… I can’t even figure out how it happened… He never went out in the wild…”
Aren slowly tilts the tip of his tail forward in agreement “Despite what it seems, deadly predator attacks are… Incredibly rare. They simply do not come into cities, and this is hardly a frontier town. One would have to make their way into the outskirts somehow”
Not like this was a predator attack at all from the looks of it
“Hrm… I wonder if that’s what it was…” Sutev adds in a low tone “I mean after the Intestine Eater and the Heartbreak Killer… Sometimes I think it could have been anyone, anything…”
“Do you remember anything about the last time you saw him?”
Sutev perks up “Well, it’s been months. He was really nervous for some reason, some clients he was really interested in apparently had bailed on him. Didn’t want to talk to me too much about it.” he turns his head up, eyes towards the ceiling “Maybe I should have pressed more…”
Soon, Marik and Aren were standing outside on the parking lot, standing by the car as they spoke to one of their holopads “That… Yeah, no… That’s a murder alright. You’d be hard pressed to convince a terran that isn’t one” says a voice in the human language on the other side
“Figures…” the black venlil rubs his snout “I suppose we should try to-” but he stops suddenly, his right ear twisting. For two heartbeats nothing happens, then his left ear starts tracking the same direction. Four seconds later, Aren’s focus is in the same direction. “Later” he says, quickly cutting the call.
Then the two split off, each one of them heading towards a different side of the car. Walking past it, towards the edge of the parking lot they slowly make their way to a large trash bin made of dark grey plastic. Its cover had been opened and, unlike normal, its front side was facing the wall, completely obscuring whatever was going on in the other side.
The two of them wait for a moment, listening to the light sound of rustling for a few seconds before moving in unison to have a look at the other side. There is nothing to be found, other than the nearby sound of hooves against pavement behind the wall. The two venlil look at each other and, without visual or verbal cues, Marik crosses his paws in front of him for support and Aren quickly leaps up on them and, using the boost, jumps up on the wall separating the garage from the other building. He lowers his tail behind him and once he feels the paws grasping it he drops himself down the wall, the minor pain from using his tail as an impromptu rope well within his ability to endure, and soon the two have crossed the barrier in time to see a flash of pink disappear down the small alley between buildings.
On a hunch, Aren keeps his strides short as he jogs onward in a chase, his companion offers him a questioning tail wave but gets no answer in return. Reaching the end of the alley they once again get a glimpse of pink taking another corner “Yep… She wants us to follow” he taps Marik on the shoulder and points a paw at the nearby building, a bookstore, before continuing the chase.
A third time in this leisurely chase does his quarry evade away, but this time as they step from the alley into the street proper she vanishes into the greenery across from the street. Everrain was also famous for its rivers fed by the near-perennial rain and, most specifically, the wonderful waterfalls that were present in certain parts of town such as this park. Before proceeding, Aren stops and pulls out his holopad, pressing a few buttons before storing it back away, and then from a different pocket pulls out a small semi-circular device. With a little bit of trouble he adjusts it on his right ear “Hearing me?” he mutters
“I can see her, about twenty metres, somewhat off to your left. Pink is bad camouflage” Marik answers.
With a sigh, Aren proceeds past the street and simply walks into the park. He follows roughly the directions he’d been given, and soon he finds himself nearby the waterfall, just close enough to feel the spray of mist and hear the rush of the water. Close enough for it to muffle any possible conversation “You came…” comes a weak voice from the side.
Aren tilts his ears forward in an affirmative, before slowly turning until he can see her. The iftali woman does not look perfectly healthy, her fur is missing in patches quite clearly from untreated superficial wounds, even for him it’s clear her hooves needed trimming months ago and her stance is energetic and uncertain, constantly scanning her surroundings and her ears never pointing both at the same direction at the same time. “You did make it easy to follow”
“Have… Have you seen the… The ghosts?” she mutters, walking in closer.
Aren tilts his head to the side “Ghosts? I haven’t heard about them”
“They’re here… They’re around, always!” she says, in a panic “I- I can see them. Nobody believes me, but I see them!” she approaches closer and closer as she speaks, bringing her left eye right close to Aren as she does so, eyeing him closely.
This close, he notices something unusual about her eye, like there was a translucent film over it “What… Kind of ghosts?” his body is tense, ready for something to happen but-
Remember the Black Claw… How many of those ‘strange’ people had just gone through something? Are those ghosts real? Did they do something to her?
“Three- It’s three of them!” her voice gets a little louder “Y-you can see them, sometimes, when the rain gives out just a little bit. Or when they walk by the waterfalls” then her voice becomes lower, a whisper “T-they’re… They’re watching to judge you”
“Judge?”
“Y-yes! They’ll judge your aura when you die!” she mutters, in a low tone “They always know when someone will die, they’re always there when someone dies- And- They’ll judge you-” suddenly she lunges forward. Not to harm, however, as instead she buries her snout on his chest “D-don’t let them judge me…”
Somewhat surprised, Aren just gently holds on to her “There’s no need to worry about that…”
“I don’t want- Don’t want to stay” she mutters in a low tone “I-i’m dirty…”
Aren proceeds to gently caress her side “No, you are not. Now, I don’t know what happened to you, but I can tell you did not do any harm yourself” he continues to caress her side “So you don’t need to worry about judgement, alright?”
After a couple dozen more minutes, Aren was willing to consider this interview done. He wasn’t quite certain what to do with Rey quite yet, he’d have to check with someone with actual training in those situations, but he did gain one more insight “Well, whatever she’s been seeing haven’t been around forever, but it has been around for a while”
Marik had taken a more lax position in front of the bookstore by the time he returned “Can we trust any of that?”
“No. But it doesn’t mean we can discount it just yet”
“Gather all available information before analysing, yes”
The two remain in silence for a moment, with a wave of his tail Aren starts returning to their car, Marik in tow. “Did you actually get any of that?” he comments as he pulls back out his holopad.
“Almost didn’t, the microphones on those things are very bad” Santos answers on the other side of the call “That one’s in a bad state…”
“Yeah… They don’t have a psych unit here so… Think we could send ‘em to at least give a look?”
“I’ll talk to the boss. Probably only after you’re back…” the sound of a sigh “This is really not our specialty… Any more ideas?”
“Missing persons case, generally people go missing before they’re declared dead” the clunking of the car door closing punctuates Marik’s intervention
With an objective in mind, the duo starts driving again making their way towards the Cloud Inn, their point of reference. The Inn itself was easy to find, not many buildings in Everrain were built tall enough to fight the perennial winds, but the Cloud Inn was one of the best hotels in the city, easily found by its tall silhouette. From there, their objective was the office building across from it, just three stories tall.
As they head out of the car and start heading towards the building, Marik gently taps his companion with his tail before walking towards a construction crew of five that was currently working one of the metal pillars holding the glass awnings in place.
Aren sizes up the workers as the tougher of the two goes to ask whatever questions had come to their mind. There was one of the fixtures in construction crews around the galaxy, one of the ever-scattered and powerful takkan.
One of them was a fellow venlil, untrimmed fur deeply uncomfortable under the protective clothing. Attached to the pillar and carrying a collection of metal screws on their mouth was a very red harchen, visually broadcasting his annoyance at the situation.
Preparing a selection of screws and looking at a blueprint was some species he could not put a name to, somewhat tall biped, light brown fur so light it seemed almost furless, broader shoulders, a long snout with a flat circular nose that constantly twitched, long attentive ears and a forward leaning posture.
Busy making sure three large panes of curved glass were not about to annihilate themselves was another species outside of his usual knowledge range, somewhat tall and biped, snow-white fur, thick legs with a digitigrade stance, a short and stubby snout decorated with the sharp reminders of incautious work, sharp incisors that’s show whenever he murmured something to himself, long ears with rounded ends that kept themselves high and alert and highly dextrous paws.
When Marik approaches, it’s the snow-furred man who turns an ear at him “Good waking” he starts “I hope you’re not too busy for some questions?”
“Oh! One moment!” the man says with a cheerful voice, taking a second to adjust the glass panes further before turning around “Sure! Never too busy to help an Exterminator!” as he puts Marik on the focus of his favoured side, Aren can feel his hackles raising.
“Do you generally work around this area or around the town? We’re looking into some older cases and figured, with as common as the construction crews are, you could be of assistance” Marik’s tone is clear and professional, as always.
The man puts his arms behind his back, lowering his head ever so slightly. “Of course, I tend to be with maintenance dispatch, so I work all over town!” his voice is cheerful, but seems to leave Aren in anticipation for a moment in a way he can’t quite figure out why just yet. In the back of his mind, he files away the fact the man is wearing a shirt under his jacket.
“Have you heard of anything of note happening around the parks and wild areas here? Anything particularly new that’s been attracting the tourists?” Marik continues, same even voice
The man swings his right ear back in a sweeping negative motion, the oddness of using a short-eared sign instead of the more reduced motion used by the nevok strikes Aren for a second, but this isn’t a commonly-seen species. “Hrm… Well, I know we’ve had more than a few calls over spinwards, those tourists are really careless around our work, did you know that?” he says with a mildly annoyed voice. “There has to be something over there, maybe someone found a new waterfall? They aren’t all mapped, you know?”
“Doesn’t surprise me.” Marik’s continued use of a professional tone has not altered the man’s reactions in the slightest “One more thing, have you seen a spotted venlil around here? We were supposed to meet him around here”
Aren tilts his head slightly at his companion’s lie, but the man does not seem to notice it as he answers simply “Sorry, haven’t seen someone like that, but i’ve only really been at this position the last, oh… Claw or so?” his tone is perfectly pleasant, but Aren can’t stop feeling… Something about it.
“Ah, I see” Marik adds just a bit of softness in the answer, an assurance at the final question “Thank you for your assistance, sir” when he gives a light wave of his tail, he’s answered with the man tilting his head ever so lightly from one side to the other, causing his ears to swing side to side. A motion that strikes a sense of uncanny valley on Aren, too similar to the motion of joy unique to the nevok.
Leaving the workers to their work, the two enter the office building, though before they go further Marik turns over to his companion “Something is off, what?”
“That guy…” Aren shakes himself slightly “Felt like talking to you when you’re not facing me” he adds with a sigh.
At that, Marik turns his entire body, placing Aren’s snout directly in front of his “What?”
“You know-” Aren waves all of his three limbs in an excessive expression of dismissiveness “That something is too right you know? I mean, it’s just weird”
Marik sighs, then flicks his right ear like swatting something away “Yeah, I get it. Easy to know when someone’s putting too much effort into being normal. Going to take a while before we can stop doing that, though”
“Hopefully not much longer” Aren turns back towards the entrance hall of the office. It is difficult to impossible to figure out what, exactly, is done in this place from its lack of decorations. However, a seemingly unbusy front desk sits there with a very distracted worker “Good waking” Aren starts “Are you available for some questions?”
The woman behind the desk suddenly jolts to attention “Oh, officers- Sure, what is it?” though despite the sudden surge, she does not seem to be able to focus on him.
“We wanted to know if Mavir works here, and when was the last time he was seen”
“Ah, I see. The police already came by to ask, actually…” her ears turn left and right and as she moves uncomfortably in the chair Aren gets a slight peek at how her tail is wrapped around her waist “Is… Is there something going on?” her entire body had taken a defensive posture by now, wary.
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. We’re here just in case our problems overlap, we’re looking into some… Unusual circumstances, if you tell us what you told the police?” Aren puts as much softness as he can in his words
“It was last paw… Mavir is the other building overseer…” the way she turns her head to the side slightly and suddenly her ears turn forward towards the door is caught by Aren’s senses “He… I… He… He had relieved me, so- So I went over to the lobby of the Inn out front- It… It’s a nice place… To sit and, and read and…” he takes a deep breath “And, and… And then I got back to get my things but- I didn’t see him up front, so I tried to find him. And- And he hadn’t clocked out or anything or…” her voice trails away.
Aren flicks an ear back at Marik, before focusing all of his attention on the woman “So he clocked in normally, and was not seen again since then?”
“Y-yes…” she almost seem to curl into herself at the answer.
Aren gently puts a paw on her shoulder, causing her to startle again and look up, this time putting her entire focus on him “Look, it’s alright. This has nothing to do with you, I promise.”
“I… I saw something…” she whispers in a low tone
“Something?”
“When… When I was reading… I saw something- Someone…” she mutters “They… They were armed, had this- Cloak and… And this mask” her words are a whisper “And the way they looked at me- I thought- I thought I wasn’t-”
“That’s what we’re here for” Aren says, with a bit more intensity, causing her to uncurl slightly “To keep people safe. What kind of person was this?”
“I-I don’t know… I never saw- Never saw someone like that before… They were all covered but- I know they had long ears…” her voice continues to be low “Do you think that… Do you think that Mavir saw them too? Is that why he-” he voice slowly dies out in her throat.
“That’s what we’re going to figure out” Aren adds, with finality. Then, after a moment he pulls out his holopad, presses a few buttons and offers it forward “Here, if you’re still scared, why don’t you go here after your shift is over? I’m sure you’re going to be safe over there”
With seemingly great effort, she tilts her ears forward in an affirmative motion before continuing to be in silence. Aren sighs, walking back to Marik “Well, thought it was a human for a moment, but not with the ears”
“We’d have heard something about armed individuals, though, wouldn’t we?” his companion adds.
Aren tips an ear forward “Yes, but it seems nobody noticed anything… But after the Silver Leaf situation… I’m not going to discount this”
Marik adjusts his rifle uncomfortably on his back.
Soon, however, they crossed the street towards the Cloud Inn. There was no need to discuss the most obvious plan, and within a few more moments they had approached the front desk “Good waking” Aren starts “I hope you’re willing to collaborate. Does the Inn have a security camera system?”
“Oh, uhn-” the surprised attendant stutters “Y-yes officer. D-do you want me to call a manager?”
“That would be helpful, yes”
The attendant quickly scurries away through a door, and after a few moments someone comes out with him. Garbed in a one-piece suit made of heavy fabrics, a heavyset tierkel walks up to the two exterminators. His near-black red suit is adorned with almost invisible geometrical patterns with lighter oranges that give the entire ensemble the impression of smoldering rocks, tilting his head up towards Aren she crosses her arms, letting out a puff of air that condenses as it passes past the threshold of her collar of her suit “Better have a good reason to pull me out of my room, darlings, ‘cause you don’t wanna know how much trouble it is to put on this suit”
“We want access to your security footage, if you have it available. We believe that…” Aren stops to think for a few seconds “There’s the possibility someone involved in a disappearance was here in the last paw, and we’d like to track them”
She tilts her head slightly to the right, her short little left ear flicking backwards just for a moment in a negative “Isn’t the police supposed to deal with those cases nowadays, love?”
“And they are, in fact, dealing with the disappearance” Aren continues undaunted “However, we are looking into a case of a predator attack with… Unusual circumstances, and are checking on the possibility of it being linked”
“And what would those circumstances be?” her voice is angrier by the second
“Animals don’t disable limbs with precise cuts” Marik cuts through “I can see you’ve no love for the guild, but I do not have the patience for this. We’re trying to figure if this is a sophont or an animal attack, are you going to help or not?”
The manager tilts slightly at him, before stamping the ground once with her foot “... I always had some suspicions…” then she turns around and starts heading back through the door she came in.
Taking it as the invitation it was, the two follow her into the office. It is, by all accounts, as normal an office as it gets- At least for the first few seconds. The moment they walk in the door closes and the loud noise of fans kick up, and after an entire minute the screaming fans settle into a low hum. The process has caused the office to mist slightly for a few moments as the temperature drops, and the air is now comfortably colder from usual dayside temperatures and considerably more humid.
She waves at the computer on the desk, and the two walk behind her as she presses a few buttons. Soon enough, a video recording comes up. It shows the front lobby, empty of people. The time on the bar clock at the far wall ticks away slowly. After a few second she presses a few more buttons and the clock starts ticking away faster as the recording accelerates, showing effectively no traffic the entire paw. “Well, seems like we got nothing here, darlings”
“Still, would you mind giving us a copy?” Aren pleads
The manager tilts her head from side to side in thought, pulls out a small memory stick from a drawer and puts it on the computer. A few a few more commands she hands it over to him “Better damn well find something” she threatens, before walking over to the door and waiting by it.
Taking the sign, the two exterminators step out, the door quickly closing behind them with the whir of the climate control system activating inside. As they start heading out the attendant at the front calls out “Wait, hold on! I got a message for you!”
Marik instantly twists around, facing square towards the attendant that flinches back “What?”
“U-uhn, Mister Kenim passed by and asked to hand this over to the two exterminators that he saw coming inside, and then left” he meekly holds out a paper note.
Marik picks it up “Thank you” before turning back to Aren “‘Meet me at the Edge of Nowhere, I have important information’... With an address” he hands the piece of paper over “Split?”
Aren flicks his ear forward in assertion and silently they board their car once again. The following trip is not too long, but about a block before the Edge of Nowhere they stop. Marik disembarks and walks away a small distance “Hearing me?” his voice comes muffled from Aren’s earpiece.
“Badly, but yes” he answers, starting up the car again and continuing the trip. The Edge of Nowhere is worthwhile of its name, it is at the very edge of the street, mere meters away from the treeline of the true wilderness, itself a small distance away from every other building around it.
Aren parks the car nearby and looks over the building. Purposefully designed to look old, the wood panelling on the outside looking a little bit too carefully aged to truly be old, large glass windows looking on inside and from the look of the light beams striking the few visible tables- There is also a glass roof. A light chime announces his entrance.
There are only two people present, by the bar is a nevok duly ignoring everything around him as he focuses on cleaning a single glass cup. At the far end of the room is a small booth, barely visible from this angle is the white tuft of a venlise tail just barely in sight. Aren slowly steps in closer “Found an angle from above, you’re covered” echoes in his ear as he simply sits down at the booth.
The man on the other side of the table looks, for all can be seen, nervous beyond anything else. Despite how composed he is, his ears tilt slightly left and right, he has angled his body in such a way his blind spot falls directly against the solid wall. Aren had seen many a cornered venlil at this point, but something told him that he wasn’t the threat this man was seeing “Kenim, I imagine? You said you had information?”
The man lowers his body, turning his words down to a whisper “Yes, it’s me… Good, you came…”
Aren keeps his voice calm and collected as he lowers himself a little as well, matching the low volume “What information is that?”
“Do you know who I am?” that wasn’t the tone used in an usual threat
“Chief of the immigration department of this province, yes”
“Listen… I am being hunted…” his eyes are distant, somewhere not here, observing a foe beyond visual range.
“Hunted?”
“Yes, hunted, stalked. There’s things- People- They’re after me. They want me dead” his eyes turn up towards Aren “Hunters of the thinking kind, exterminator. The most dangerous kind, you understand me, right?”
Aren’s ears tilt horizontally in a display of sympathetic worry for a moment “I know the dangers of those…”
“Listen, they’re waiting for just the right time- Those people- The others- They don’t know what being stalked really is like, but I do, it’s happening to me. I’ve- I’ve done what I can, I got more guards, I got more security for my residence, even got some of those fancy human security measures.” he moves his body up suddenly, grabbing hold of the fur on Aren’s chest, bringing him closer “It’s not enough. I need help-” he takes a deep breath “Or at least for someone to notice it alright?”
He lets go and continues to whisper “Look- I told you. Whatever happens, do something, anything about it, alright?”
Then, he raises himself up to a normal-looking stance. And yet, his breathing is deep and slow as if he is about to lose control at any moment. Before Aren can say anything he stands up slowly, pulls out a small piece of folded paper and gently puts it down on the table before he starts walking out. His body would speak of calm if not for the fact that his motions are far too stiff, composure brought to the edge.
After a few moments, Aren picks up the paper and follows back outside. Kenim is nowhere to be seen, so he walks back to his car. In a few moments he finds Marik where he had left him originally, and he enters the car. Setting up the cruise control as they start heading deeper into the city he pulls up the folded piece of paper as he starts up a call on the holopad hooked to the dashboard.
“Do you believe in curses, Santos?” he says, with a tired tone. He unfolds the paper, a piece of paper from a notebook, written in impressive venlise calligraphy were four words ‘We are not forgiving’. Compressed within the paper was a small tuft of fur, color matching that of Kenim’s.
“No, but I believe we are cursed either way” the human on the other side says “So… I got news about that recording”
[<-PREV][FIRST][NEXT->]
Surprise- This is not quite so much a standard story :D
This one is a crossover with u/Starkeeper0's Off The Beaten Path! So, if you know both stories... You can expect some action soon.

Today we’re building Vill-V, 5th of the 13 Flame Chasers from Honkai Impact 3rd. This is my 2nd D&D character build I've made based on Honkai Impact 3rd.
Let’s start off with our goals for this build. First, we need overwhelming firepower. Guns, Cannons, Missiles. Everything that goes boom. Second, we need to have a bunch of fun and fancy gadgets to toy with. Lastly, we need to be able to fix and craft gear, as you were the one who crafted the Divine Keys.
For stats, we’ll be using Point Buy for a more ideal spread. Roll for stats if you want, just keep that Intelligence and Dexterity high.
15 Intelligence will be the highest stat. Your brain is so big that you had to split it into 7 personalities.
14 Dexterity next, you definitely wear Leather armor and it’s the stat for guns.
12 Constitution after that, since you often throw yourself in your line of fire and need to shrug off hits. This may seem low at first, but eventually will be fixed
12 Wisdom will follow, as being a scientist and engineer requires keen perception.
10 Charisma is a bit lower than I'd like, since you definitely have a knack for performance and theatrics, we’ll get something later to help that.
8 and we’ll dump Strength too, your machines do the heavy lifting.
For Race, you’re obviously a human, but we’ll use Tasha’s Custom Lineage for +2 to Intelligence, Medium size, Proficiency in Performance, and the Skill Expert Feat for an additional +1 to Intelligence, proficiency in another skill (go for Sleight of Hand as you are a magician), and Expertise in another skill. Go for Performance. Lastly, take the Izzet Engineer Background from Ravnica for proficiency in Arcana and Investigation, as well as a set of artisan’s tools. Obviously go for Calligraphy. With that, we got +4 to Intelligence at Level 1, folks.
Now, what better class for fancy gadgets and gizmos than Artificer? 1st Level Artificers can pick 2 skills from the Artificer list. History and Perception would be my picks. You also get proficiency with Thieves' Tools, Tinker’s Tools, and another set of tools of your choice. Go for Smith’s Tools this time. You get Magical Tinkering, letting you infuse a tiny object to make it play a short recording, show 25 words of text, make it light up, or emit a simple sound or smell. You get 2 Cantrips from the Artificer list. Fire Bolt is a ranged spell attack that deals 1d10 Fire damage on a hit, kinda like an energy blast, and Mending makes a small repair on an object, perfect for an engineer patching up your machines. You can also cast spells, and you can prepare an amount of spells up to your Intelligence modifier plus half your Artificer level rounded down, which now would be 5. Keep in mind that this build won’t be adding every spell we can prepare, just the ones that fit the character the best. Catapult hurls an object weighing 5 pounds or less 90 feet towards a creature, forcing a Dexterity saving throw and hitting for 3d8 bludgeoning damage if they fail. Jump triples your Jumping distance for a minute, as you do tend to hop around the battlefield a lot. Identify lets you know what a magic item you find does. Expeditious Retreat lets you dash as a bonus action for up to 10 minutes, depending on your Concentration. And Lastly, from Izzet Engineer, Chaos Bolt makes a ranged spell attack against a creature within 120 feet, dealing 2d8 plus 1d6 damage, the type of which is determined by one of the d8 rolls from among Acid, Cold, Fire, Force, Lightning, Poison, Psychic, or Thunder. If both d8 rolls are the same, you hit another creature within 30 feet of the first target, and roll the damage again on a hit.
2nd Level Artificers can learn Artificer Infusions, letting you augment items or replicate magic items. You can know 4 of them, but only have 2 Item infusions active. Repeating Shot gives +1 to attack and damage rolls to a ranged weapon and magically produces its own ammo, fitting for a firearms enthusiast. Enhanced Defense gives +1 to the AC of a suit of Armor or a Shield. You can also use your Infusions to Replicate Magic Items. Goggles of Night gives you or anyone wearing them 60 feet of Darkvision, and a Bag of Holding is always useful for storing all your parts, scrap, and tools.
3rd Level Artificers get to pick a Specialty, and Artillerist is exactly the type of Artificer that just wants to go boom with big guns. Firstly, you get proficiency in Woodcarver’s Tools. Second and most importantly, you get to create an Eldritch Cannon as an action. It can either be Small and occupy a 5 foot space, or it can be Tiny and be held in your hand. It has an AC of 18, HP equal to 5 times your Artificer Level, and it restores 2d6 HP if you cast Mending on it. Lasts for 1 hour or until it dies, afterwards you cannot make another until you either finish a long rest or expend a spell slot. When you create it, you can choose between either a Flamethrower, Force Ballista, or Protector. As a bonus action, you can choose to move the cannon 15 feet if it’s Small and have it use its effect, depending on the type. Flamethrower creates a 15 foot cone of flame, forcing Dex saves on creatures in range, dealing 2d8 Fire damage on a failure, half on a success. Force Ballista makes a ranged spell attack within 120 feet, dealing 2d8 Force damage on a hit and pushing the creature hit back by 5 feet. And Protector gives the cannon and any allies within 10 feet of it Temporary HP equal to 1d8 plus your Intelligence Modifier.
As an Artillerist, you also get extra spells that don’t count against the ones you can prepare. Shield adds +5 to your AC as a reaction, and Thunderwave forces a Constitution saving throw on creatures in a 15 foot cube in front of you, dealing 2d8 Thunder damage and pushing them back 10 feet on a failure, half as much damage and no pushback on a success. You can also prepare another spell, and Cure Wounds heals 1d8 plus your Intelligence Modifier to patch up your teammates.
Lastly, 3rd Level Artificers get The Right Tool for the Job, letting you spend an hour crafting any set of artisans tools you or your teammates might need.
4th Level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement. Cap your Intelligence for the biggest brain possible. You can also prepare another spell, and Faerie Fire forces Dex saves on creatures in a 20 foot cube, and on a failure they are marked, giving you advantage on attack rolls against them. Lasts for up to a minute, depending on your concentration.
5th Level Artillerists get an Arcane Firearm, letting you create a magical weapon that can serve as a spellcasting focus for your Artificer spells. If you do, then you can add a d8 to the damage of a spell you cast. Speaking of, you can now learn 2nd Level Spells. For your spell at this level, Blur gives creatures disadvantage on attack rolls against you for up to a minute, depending on your concentration. From the Artillerist list, Scorching Ray creates 3 blasts of Fire that you can make a ranged spell attack with, dealing 2d6 Fire damage each on a hit, and You also learn Shatter, which forces Constitution saves on creatures in a 10 foot radius sphere within 60 feet, dealing 3d8 thunder damage on a failure, half on a success, and creatures made of metal or other inorganic material have disadvantage on the save.
6th Level Artificers get Tool Expertise, doubling your proficiency bonus with all your tools. You can also learn 2 extra Infusions and have another item infusion active. A Spell-Refueling Ring lets you use an action to restore a spell slot of 3rd level or lower once per day, and Resistant Armor grants the wearer resistance to either acid, cold, fire, force, lightning, necrotic, poison, psychic, radiant, or thunder damage.
7th Level Artificers get Flash of Genius, letting you use your reaction to add your Intelligence modifier whenever you or an ally makes an ability check or saving throw. You can use this feature an amount of times equal to your Intelligence modifier per long rest. For your Spell at this Level, Web creates a 20 foot cube space of webs for up to an hour, depending on your concentration. Any creatures within must make a Dex save or be restrained until they make a Strength check to break free. If the webs are exposed to fire, they take an extra 2d4 Fire damage as the webs burn up. Restrained creatures have disadvantage on Dex saves, which pairs well with your Flamethrower.
8th Level Artificers get another Ability Score improvement. Bump up your Dexterity for better AC and Firearm damage. You can also prepare another spell, but we’ll wait for the next level for that.
9th Level Artillerists get a boost to their firepower with Explosive Cannon, boosting your Eldritch Cannon’s damage rolls by 1d8, and giving you the option to have it explode as an action, destroying it and forcing Dex saves on creature within 20 feet of it, dealing 3d8 force damage on a failure, half on a success. You can also learn 3rd Level Spells. From the Artillerist list, what explosive-obsessed freak is complete without Fireball, which forces Dex saves in a 20 foot radius sphere dealing 8d6 Fire damage on a failure. Wind Wall creates a 50 foot long, 15 foot wide, by 1 foot thick wall that forces Strength saves on creatures in its path, dealing 3d8 bludgeoning damage on a failure. The wall also protects against small projectiles to give you and your team some extra defense. Lasts for up to a minute, depending on your concentration. For your prepared spell, Flame Arrows adds an extra 1d6 fire damage to 12 pieces of ammunition, which can include your firearms for that little extra punch. Lasts for up to an hour, depending on your concentration.
10th Level Artificers are Magic Item Adepts, letting you attune to up to 4 magic items at once, and being able to craft Common or Uncommon magic items in a quarter of the time and at half the cost. You can also learn 2 extra Infusions for 8 total, and can have up to 4 active. In addition, the bonus from your Enhanced Defense, Enhanced Arcane Focus, and Enhanced Weapon Infusions increase to +2. A Cloak of Protection grants +1 to AC and Saving Throws, and Eyes of the Eagle give you advantage on Perception Checks.
11th Level Artificers get a Spell Storing Item, letting you infuse a spellcasting focus or a weapon with an Artificer spell of 1st or 2nd level as long as it uses an action to cast. A creature can then use their action to use the spell stored in the object an amount of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier or until you store another spell. If the spell requires an attack roll, then they can use your spellcasting roll, but if it requires concentration, then they must do it themselves.
12th Level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement. Bump up your Dexterity for Better AC and Firearm damage.
13th Level Artificers can learn 4th Level Spells. From the Artillerist List, Ice Storm is yet another stage of your Beauty Blizzard, creating a 20 foot wide, 40 foot high cylinder within 300 feet, forcing Dex saves on creatures within the area, dealing 2d8 Bludgeoning damage and 4d6 cold damage on a failure, half on a success, and turning the area into difficult terrain for a turn. Wall of Fire creates a 60 by 20 foot wall of fire or a 20 by 20 foot ringed wall, forcing Dex saves on creatures within 10 feet on one side, dealing 5d8 fire damage on a failure, half on a success. For your prepared spells, Fabricate lets you create a Large or smaller object out of raw materials like wood, or Medium or smaller when using metal, stone, or other mineral materials. You cannot create magical items with it, but you can create basic weapons and armor since you have Expertise in both Tinker’s Tools and Smith’s Tools, meaning you can create Firearms. For your other spell, Mordenkainen’s Faithful Hound acts like another Sentry, creating an invisible dog that detects any creature within 30 feet of you and it can’t take any damage. On your turn, if it detects a hostile creature within 5 feet, it makes a melee spell attack dealing 4d8 piercing damage on a hit. Lasts for 8 hours.
14th Level Artificers are Magic Item Savants, letting you attune to up to 5 magic items at once and ignoring any class, racial, spell, or level requirements for them. You can also learn 2 more infusions and have up to 5 active. A Ring of Protection adds an additional +1 to AC and Saving Throws, and an Amulet of Health sets your Constitution score to 19.
15th Level Artillerists get Fortified Position, meaning you can now have 2 Eldritch Cannons at once. You can create, destroy, and control them both in the same turn, but you cannot use 1 spell slot to create 2 of them. In addition, you and any allies within 10 feet of an Eldritch Cannon benefit from half-cover, which means +2 to AC and Dex saves.
Before we move on with the build, let’s go over what Infusions you should have active. Those are Repeating Shot, Enhanced Defense, Ring of Protection, Amulet of Health, and Cloak of Protection.
Now that we have all our Firepower from Artificer, let’s move on over to Fighter. 1st Level Fighters can pick a Fighting Style. Archery grants +2 to attack rolls with ranged weapons. You also get Second Wind, letting you heal 1d10 plus your Fighter level as a bonus action once per short or long rest.
2nd Level Fighters get Action Surge, letting you take another action once per short or long rest for another attack or a spell.
3rd Level Fighters can pick a Martial Archetype, and Champion is simple, but effective, giving you Improved Critical, meaning you score a critical hit on 19 or 20.
4th Level Fighters get our last Ability Score Improvement. Cap your Dexterity for the best AC and Firearm attacks.
Our capstone is the 5th Level of Fighter for an Extra Attack for 2 attacks per round.
Now that we’ve hit Level 20, let’s go over the strengths of this build. First, you are a one-woman army armed to the teeth with Firearms, 2 Eldritch Cannons, and a multitude of long ranged spells letting you lay down some serious firepower. With an Automatic Rifle infused with Repeating Shot and Flame Arrows, 2 Force Ballistas, and Action Surge, you can deal 14d8+4d6+24 damage in 1 turn, or 110 average damage. Second, you’re surprisingly durable.Thanks to the Amulet of Health and Fighter levels, you have 188 average HP, and with Studded Leather, Enhanced Defense, Ring of Protection, Cloak of Protection, and the half-cover from your Cannons, you have a whopping 23 AC, or 28 with Shield, making you hard to hit. Lastly, you have Expertise in Performance and 5 Tools, alongside Flash of Genius, giving you some good out-of-combat utility.
For weaknesses, you have low Strength and Charisma, meaning while you do have +1 to those saving throws thanks to your Ring and Cloak, you can still easily be tossed around or banished. You also have a lot of concentration spells, meaning you can only have 1 up at a time. You also have very limited options when in melee range, so unless you either take a close-range cantrip like Shocking Grasp or a melee weapon backup, you’ll be firing at disadvantage with your Firearms at close range. Lastly, having access to Firearms, especially Modern or Futuristic ones, is very dependent on your setting and unless you’re playing such a setting or have a very generous DM, you’ll have to stick with either a Hand Crossbow or Heavy Crossbow for your ranged option. While you did canonically craft weapons of Divine Power, trying to do such a thing in D&D and creating an antimatter rifle in a fantasy setting is definitely on the line of metagaming.
But the show must go on! Put on a scientific spectacle as you blow your enemies to bits! Just make sure you keep your 7 personalities in check. Having a big brain doesn’t always mean you’re mentally stable.

I have ideas all the time for new coats of arms, but I feel severely limited by my artistic skills. Years ago, I did some calligraphy, but nothing too fancy. I also do some simple cartography due to my job, but otherwise, I am not artistic at all.
Usually, when I have an idea, I chuck it into DALL-E or a similar model and let them do the heavy lifting, but they are never exactly what I want (of course, based on how they work). Hence, I'd like to learn how to draw them myself. I am also open to digital art, it doesn't need to be manual only.
Any resources for learners that you know about?

Many of us don't bother about fancy calligraphy and lettering. In contrast, what we're in the most need of is something more functional and usable for the nature of the work we do. We want things to get done at a reasonable pace to make any sense of it.
However, it doesn't mean that scribbling is acceptable. What we write has to be clear to read from a distance to be useful.
In short, we want to write faster and neater and learning this could be a lifesaver for us.
This is the place for it! Ask anything you want here.
Handwriting makes sense and I absolutely love it but a dedicated place for "functional handwriting" could mean the exchange of conversation between like-minded people.

Ah, where do I even begin with this glorious mess that is Gensokyo? Let's talk about chapters 18-19 of Forbidden Scrollery, shall we? We have a situation at the local human school that would make any health inspector faint. Apparently, a youkai fox child is attending classes! Shocking, right? Especially since said child decided to skip the whole "notebook" thing and started decorating the walls with their finest fox calligraphy. Subtlety? Never heard of her.
Reimu, the village miko with the attention span of a goldfish, tries to capture the foxy student, but of course, the little fluffball outsmarts her. Then comes Akyuu, the resident expert on all things occult, who proposes a brilliant plan: turn the school into a Kafkaesque nightmare by subjecting every kid to a youkai inspection! Luckily, Kosuzu, Reimu's ever-so-slightly-more-competent village resident, has a conscience and throws a wrench into that lovely idea.
But here's the real kicker: Akyuu drops this truth bomb – apparently, in Gensokyo, youkai and humans are supposed to be sworn enemies! Like, a whole "Romeo and Juliet" situation, but with less romance and more pointy ears. And guess what? This whole charade is the glue holding their society together! Don't worry, it gets better. Remember the spell card system, that delightful framework for youkai to throw magical light shows? Yeah, it only works if everyone pretends youkai are giant, evil monster-boxes.
Now, let's add some flying bird-men to this delightful stew. During a typhoon (because why not?), the tengu, who are totally-not-secretly youkai, are tasked with protecting the village from the wind. Talk about a conflict of interest! But hey, gotta keep up appearances, right? So, the tengu shield the village while poor Kosuzu gets Mary Poppins-ed away by the wind outside the safety zone (because overdue library books are a matter of national security, apparently).
Naturally, the tengu can't just let a human splat. So, they take Kosuzu in, erase her memory of the whole ordeal, and hope nobody notices their little kidnapping spree. Reimu and Marisa, the village's resident shoot-first-ask-questions-later crew, decide to play along to avoid rocking the boat. You see, maintaining the illusion of human-youkai hatred is way more important than, you know, actual honesty.
Now, how does this relate to your assassins? Well, imagine a bunch of guys who think they're Batman, but without the fancy gadgets or the billionaire playboy persona. They're basically hooded edge lords with anger management issues, operating outside the law and freaking everyone out. Youkai scoff at them, seeing them as both competition and easy pickings.
The assassins live a life of constant paranoia, convinced every shadow holds a potential snitch or a youkai with a taste for unlicensed murder. It's a thankless job with a high mortality rate, basically the fast-food version of heroism.
But hey, at least the Templars, those bastions of corruption masquerading as authority, get a good public image, right? The people trust them because, well, fancy titles and all that. The assassins, with their pesky morals and unconventional methods? Nope, straight to nope-ville. The people crave stability, even if it's built on a foundation of lies. So there you have it, folks. Gensokyo: a place where make-believe trumps reality and frenemies are the name of the game. Buckle up, it's gonna be a wild ride!

https://imgur.com/a/ryIBq6F
u/PlentyComfortable239 Thank you for the cute vintage kitty card from 1979! So neat that your Grandma gave them to you, it makes carding fun to pass down some history, right? I love your positive energy! Wow, I dig your affinity for live jazz…I used to listen to live jazz back in college but haven’t heard any lately. I really like all the appreciation for jazz in the film La La Land! Thank you for your encouraging words offering love & hope & the neat stickers! You asked if anything “exciting” will be happening for me. I wouldn’t say it’s “exciting” lol but I enjoy crafting & take lots of library crafting classes. Most recently, I took a block printing class & designed my own stamps! That was super fun! I also created a “resin galaxy” that was awesome to do at the library because dealing with sticky resin at home can be a real pain so I prefer limiting my messes to the library haha! Hope you’re enjoying your new city & that you keep finding lots of cool places to explore!
u/tiredpantyhose Thank you so much for the neato Alice in Wonderland card & your kind wishes! Such fun artwork. :) I would totally dig checking out your husband’s corny jokes lol! Corny jokes can just make a blah day a little better, right? Here are a few for you: Hear about the pony that needed a glass of water? He was a little horse. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play. Why do melons get married in church? Because they cantaloupe. ;) Happy spring, kind friend!
u/Powerful_Cobbler_215 Thank you for the Aloha postcard with your lovely excitement at passing on someone’s cards! That was so thoughtful of you to take your Goodwill stash & actually practice “goodwill”!!! :) Wishing you a sweet & sunny spring!
u/Justined0414 Thank you so much for the birthday postcard with your kind wishes! I appreciate you thinking of me & hope that the sunshine you sent my way comes right back to you, sweet soul! Hope you have moments as sweet as you!
u/lemonbeets911 Thank you for the pretty Crater Lake National Park postcard that you decorated so nicely with the fun stickers! Hope you have a gorgeous spring!
u/Sable__ Thanks for the cute Winnie the Pooh postcard! How amazing that you witnessed a shooting star - I never have but that’s a dream! So glad you were able to have such a fabulous experience! Hope you’re able to check out the upcoming total solar eclipse!
u/omggallout x 6 Thank you for the gorgeous artsy card from the Farmer’s Market & for introducing me to a talented artist! I totally agree with you about the mass cards available online lol. I can’t buy those either. I love that you support small businesses & independent artists! I also love the cute floral card featuring cool vintage recipes you sent & can’t wait to try some of them. They all look super fun & so unique! Thanks for the cuuute SG, Winnie the Pooh, mental health, & women in Art postcards! I’ve only seen the first season of “Stranger Things” so I need to catch up! You asked about my fave shows. They include “Mad Men”, “Downton Abbey”, “Breaking Bad”, “Community”, “The Office”, “Modern Family”, and most recently, “Beef” (this fun one caught me by surprise!). I’m open to lots of genres but am particularly drawn to dramas. :) Thanks also for the sweet stickers. :) Wishing you lots of joy as you hunt for treasures at upcoming Farmer’s Market excursions!
u/GhostChild25 Thanks for the hilarious bird expletives postcard hahaha! So fun. I appreciate you sending this fun, quirky card my way & hope you have a sweet spring!
u/HeyMorganM Thank you for the super cute teddy bear birthday postcard with your lovely washi & sticker decorations! Love your positive spirit! I appreciate you thinking of me on my birthday & hope that you will have an awesome birthday as sweet as you, kind friend!
u/FelineIntuition Thank you for the Queen of Carthage postcard! It makes me wonder if queens think they’ll be taken less seriously if they smile in their portraits lol! Hope you have a royal spring!
u/Keqani Thank you for thinking of me with the adorable The Tale of the Princess Kaguya postcard! So cute! I appreciate your kind wishes & hope your spring is sweet & sunny!
u/rosiealeo1 Thank you for this precious Loupaper chick & bunny postcard! I’d never seen it before & it is just too cute!!!! The illustrations are awesome. Hope your little one will be dressed as a chick at some point during spring lol - I recall how fun it was when my niece was a baby and I could make her dress up as anything I wanted hahaha! Now she’s a teenager so it’s too late. There is something adorable about little kids in chick costumes!!! Thank you for thinking of me & helping me build my lovely Loupaper collection!! Wishing y’all an egg-cellent spring, sweet friend!
u/a5k2h5 Thank you for your positive energy & the wonderful affirmations, which I will continue to reflect upon as often as possible! The mouse in its superhero costume is hilarious & the typewriter is so cute! Thank you for your efforts at spreading so many positive vibes. Here is an affirmation for you that I found particularly profound: "Make way for the unprecedented and watch your reality rearrange yourself.” - Poet Yrsa Daley-Ward Wishing you a breathtakingly beautiful present & future, kind friend!
u/mypetitmal Thank you so much for the super pretty celestial-themed card - I stared at it for ages! It had a calming effect on me, as do all your sweet, heartfelt cards! It’s always a great day when I hear from you, sweet friend! You asked about my V-Day. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but he has a chronic illness & was unable to spend any time with me. So I checked out a chocolate “tasting” class at the library that night. The dark chocolate was so much better than I thought it would be, ha! I usually prefer milk so it was nice to experience some decadent dark chocolate for a change. Hope all went well with the appointment you mentioned. Glad you were able to enjoy some coffee - you deserve a treat as warm & as sweet as you! I was also touched to hear about your meet-up to support the community. Your compassion knows no bounds, beautiful soul! I admire your drive & efforts to make the world a more loving, kind place. Thank you for your gracious thoughts - you absolutely exude the same wonderful vibes for me, & I’m so happy & grateful to have your friendship/awesome hugs! Wishing you sunny skies & smiles this spring, Beautiful! xoxo
u/AlfredTheButt-ler Thank you for the precious St. Patrick’s Day card featuring the crazy cuuuuute baby birds! I was touched with your desire to connect with lost loved ones. I’m so there with you on the weather in our state - seriously just fed up. I swear I’m going to “summer” elsewhere one day, if I can get my material life in order lol! But I think you’re being extremely modest with the wish for a marketable skill…it seems to me that JUST with your mail/kindness sending prowess, you obviously have loads of them! Not just organizational skills! You’re infinitely kind & caring - and that’s honestly so rare these days although I think that should be a bare minimum requirement for any type of endeavor!! You asked for my 3 wishes. I should have clarified that these wishes come after an automatic bonus of world peace so we can focus on what’s really important - ourselves. Just kidding haha!! But yes, assuming we’re gifted world peace, I’ll then take 1) eternal youth & beauty because I’m vain & shallow like that 2) a house of my own where I can have my own art studio so I don’t have to lug all my carding stuff back and forth to the library 3) to be effortlessly creative. Thank you for sending love my way! Hope you have a supremely sunny spring!
u/Strong-Finger-6126 Thank you for the cute blank smileys which will be awesome to pass on! Keep smiling, kind friend!
u/ninajyang x 2 Thank you for the beautiful birthday & coffee Loupaper postcards! I love how you would lounge in the sun as a royal kitty and that is HILARIOUS & so creative that you, as a royal kitty, would want your own pets!!! Hahaha that’s so cuuute!!! Like you, I would wanna be pampered all day long so I’ll take manis, pedis, & facials made with all kinds of fancy MILK (goat, oat, you name it!!)! And I would refuse to walk anywhere - I would insist on being carried on the shoulders of my employees in a fancy bed all decked out with fluffy pillows! Thank you for indulging me with your fun thoughts! Wishing you safe & happy travels (wish I had your jet-settin’ life!!), dearest Nina!
u/chiquita61 Thank you for the darling “Tea time” card - how I love the decorations & the super cute 3D tea bag/cut outs!!! Thank you also for the sweet stickers & cranberry apple tea, which looks so refreshing!!! Your positive energy just came popping out of this fun card - thank you for thinking of me! Wishing you the creamiest of clotted cream along with your delicious tea scones!
u/WickedMa There really is nothing wicked about you lol! You are the sweetest soul, and that comes across so strongly with all of the cuuuute cards you send!!! This bunny Easter card is just darling, as are you for thinking of me!!! Thank you for the insanely cute stickers as well! BTW I’m super excited to report that the library is hosting AN ADULT LITERARY-THEMED EASTER EGG HUNT NEXT WEEK! For years, I’ve been dragging my niece & nephews to Easter egg hunts so I’m thrilled to finally get some Easter egg love of my own! ;) I appreciate your constant love so very much & hope you have a fabulous Easter too!
u/kittycatcon You made my day twice - the day you selected me to be the recipient of this perfect “My Melody & Kuromi” card, & the day I received this treasure! It’s even more beautiful in person. This illustration is stunning. These cuties honestly make you appreciate the little magical moments in life, like connecting with friends who were once strangers, all through the mail! I appreciate you sending me this sweet card, which is now one of my all-time faves, & your happy vibes! Hope you settle in nicely to your new place & that it brings you lots of joy!
u/Pollotino Thank you for the sweet postcard featuring the girl holding the bunny! Hope you find the best apartment at the best price & that your new place, when you do find it, is a bastion of peace & comfort!
u/Mediocre_Radish_7216 Thank you for this insanely cuuuute leprechaun & smiling balloon card! These smiling balloons are to-die-for precious! You’re a born storyteller, my friend. I was smiling & giggling so much while reading your SIDESPLITTING, incredibly funny story of eating the inedible decorative apple in front of Ms. Posh LMAO!!!! I’ll bet that Ms. Posh just loves having you around purely for her own entertainment hahaha! If I were her, I would have honestly been so charmed by you & your heartwarming humility! Hope you don’t mind that I’m featuring the story in a highlighted pic for others to enjoy as well. :) You are so absolutely adorable & charming for sharing your stories with me! You’re so full of life, authentic, & just so entertaining!! Thanks also for the sweet hamrock sticker surprise you enclosed in the fun little washi/memo “compartment” you so creatively & cleverly created! Love this idea! Thank you for making my currently boring life so rich with your awesome stories!
u/CapnCobbler This bright, beautiful sun card makes me so happy, thank you! I absolutely love it, & the stunning Whitman quote you included, which is so profound that I have to share here: “Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and the shadows will fall behind you.” Truth!! I also love how you decorated the card with the word “Shine” for further inspiration! Thanks also for the pretty feather sticker. I really appreciate you sending sunshine my way & hope you have the sweetest, sunniest spring!
u/SweetyDarlingLulu x 2 Thank you for thinking of me with the fun dragon St. Patrick’s Day card, the cute dragon birthday card, & all your good wishes! I think I missed a post/announcement - are you a dragon enthusiast lol? I love it when people are passionate about certain topics! Your enthusiasm came blaring through! Hope you had a 17th full of luck & love!
u/laura_eva Thank you for the cute baby chick Easter card - what a sweetie, as are you for sending such joy my way! Thanks also for the pretty bird extra postcard to pass along. So many bird enthusiasts in our sub here, looking forward to sending him to a nice home! Hope your Easter is full of radiant roses & dazzling daisies!
u/seaofstars Thank you for one of the most gorgeous cards I have EVER received - so bright, full of color, & festive! I love it so much!!! My joy at gazing upon this beauty tripled when I read your heartfelt fortune for me, brimming with hope! Thank you for that - I really needed it! I so appreciate the time you took to write out my fortune in such depth complete with the signs and details on the tarot spread. Your encouragement & positive vibes mean a lot to me! Thanks again for the fun offer & for your fortune-telling savvy! Wishing you a future filled with love, laughter, & hope, sweet friend!
u/hoolu123 x 2 Thank you for the HILARIOUS Teddy Bear postcard, which is a real gem despite your obvious lack of love for it LMAO!! And I absolutely love the coloring postcard from Paris, ooh-la-la! I love to color & this series is one I definitely haven’t seen so I really appreciate it! Hope you had a fabulous time in the City of Love & that you enjoyed some decadent treats while abroad!
u/sourshrimpmaiden Thank you for the exquisite postcard of The Japanese Bridge featuring my favorite cherry blossoms! And I LOVE your gorgeous cherry blossom artwork!! You are so very talented! :) I was tickled by the fun fact that you shared, that “the first cherry blossom trees that were planted in the US was on March 27th, 1912” because that is my birthday (well at least the month and day hahaha, otherwise I’d be dead by now)!!! I’ve always been drawn to them because they’re just so pretty but now they mean even more to me. Thank you for brightening my day with your pretty art & friendly vibes! Hope you have a spectacular spring!
u/talkingishard33 Thank you for sharing your book recommendation with me - I look forward to checking it out!! Thank you also for the super cute stamp stickers! I highly recommend anything by Amor Towles. His book “The Gentleman in Moscow” & “The Lincoln Highway” are my faves! I also LOVE “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” by Betty Smith. Wishing you fabulous reads, friend!
u/on1oman1ac Thank you for the beautiful illustrated “Go Places” postcard with your cute decorations & all the delicious-sounding Filipino dishes you described! I’m also obsessed with your cuuute, tiny handwriting - it’s so cute I just wanna hug it lol!!!! I wish I could write so magically mini like you! Hope you have a wonderful spring full of your fave foods, sweet friend!
u/raspberrypoppyseed x 3 Wow!! I felt so pampered with your beautiful, glittering gold envelope and all the gorgeous cards you included! Thank you! Thank you so much! They are all so elegant - the beautiful blue bird card is such a stunner! Thank you also for the kind birthday wishes, & the pretty, bright star-themed card along with the fabulous flair rhyme you wrote for me with your ChatGPT assistant! It’s darling! I really like your stickewashi decorations & your fancy personalized username stamp - that is just so elegant with the mini envelope & your pretty name in cursive! Love the font for the stamp too. You’re tempting me to get a personalized stamp too - so much style! I was so impressed by the unique way in which you folded the fish memo into an envelope for the stickers - so creative! Love your sticker style - the floral stickers are so elegant! Thank you for thinking of me with your kind, thoughtful offer to celebrate gold + flair!!! Hope you receive as many smiles & sunshine as you sent my way, kind friend!
u/inconsolableonion Thank you for the fun orange postcard & quirky anecdote about the bald eagle who dropped a fish on the road next to your car LOL!!!! I’m guessing the eagle thought you were super cute & wanted to buy you dinner. ;) I loved how you classified this incident as “just [insert your state name] things”!!! So is the rumor really true, that the wackiest things happen there? Thank you for brightening my day with the fun visual! Hope you stay safe & free of raining fish this spring! :)
u/mostlyblots Thank you for the absolutely adorable Easter card along with the super cute bunny washi & stickers!!! And I just love your calligraphy, wow! That is hilarious about the parsnips & so clever hahaha! I would be strict with the bunny and say that it’s either carrots or liver, up to him! And then when his lip would quiver, I’d say, “Okay, how about cake?” Unbeknownst to him, I would puree the carrots and bake it into a carrot cake. ;) Thank you for thinking of me with the fun card. Hope you have an egg-cellent Easter!
u/MamaBai Thank you for the super inspiring, gorgeous TJ’s card encouraging me to “Ride life like a lightning bolt”!! I love it!! The card itself was so motivating but the real treat was to read your own beautiful words that provided such comfort, peace, & joy! Your enthusiasm for life is just infectious! Thank you! You really are a super special person to spread so much kindness, compassion, warmth, & encouragement to strangers. I was genuinely touched by your reminder that we are all worthy & invaluable. I hope that the joy you spread so selflessly will return back to you a billionfold, you angel!!! :) I’m also excited that you recommended a playlist, which I look forward to checking out! Especially because it came from such a sweet soul!!! Thank you for bringing me sunshine & serenity, you beauty! I hope the world will treat you with as much kindness as you send out!
u/Rand_ston Thank you for the sweet “Thank you” card with the cute sticker party! I can’t wait to pass these sweeties along - thank you so much for your generosity & for thinking of me! Hope you have a beautiful spring!
u/wiifitboard Thank you for this beyond precious vintage-y illustrated card of the little one with the hole in his pants lol!!! Wherever did you find this gem?!? I also love the George Gershwin stamp - never seen it before! Thank you!! Hope you have a sunny, sassy spring!
u/duttonemelia Thank you for the cheerful St. Patrick’s Day shamrock card & all the good vibes you sent my way! Wishing you a pot of gold & perfectly ripe avocados, sweet friend!
u/FancyKiddens Thank you for the super fun Tony the Tiger upcycled postcard with all the fun facts! That would have been hilarious if “Elmo the Elephant” would have been the mascot instead. And it makes me wonder if Elmo from Sesame Street would have a different name/or even exist at all had Tony the Tiger gotten the shaft! Like a weird domino effect! I love learning about the history of popular culture so thank you for the cool history lesson!!! Wishing you cute baby chicks this spring, Darlin’!!
u/Elley_bean All I can think is…if this chick popping out of its egg card & stickers are this insanely cuuute, how cute must Elley bean be?!? Sight unseen, I just wanna pinch your cute cheeks, forgive me for saying so hahaha! Such adorable vibes could only come from the most adorable person! I’ll bet you always light up the lives of everyone around you in person, if you do so, this effortlessly, via mail! Thank you for making me smile & for brightening my day like you did! I hope you have a beautiful Easter!
u/rennbrig x 2 Thank you for the pretty bird card & your gorgeous new stationery card! So fancy! So fine! Exquisite choice, my friend! You write in style. :) I really like how your name is embossed (if that’s what it is lol) in gold & the floral print is so upscale! I loved learning that you’re into “House of Cards” - I am too!! But I have yet to finish it. I started it some years back & then fell behind when it returned. The only scene I recall from memory is when you know who shoved you know who off the subway platform!! That was one of the most intense scenes I have ever seen in tv/film history! Did you enjoy the later seasons as much as the earlier ones? Thank you for reminding me that I need to catch up! May as well start over. :) I’m in the middle of “Madam Secretary” right now. Seen it? Wishing you a spring full of thrilling, mind-bending shows, friend!
u/Kaposia Thank you for the beautiful card featuring Burke’s Book Store! I just love this series of postcards - the illustrations are just stunning! Hope you have a wonderful spring full of the best reads!
u/Hellonicetomeetyouuu Thank you for the precious “Meowgical” postcard that you decorated with such cute stickers & washi! I just loved reading how you’d lead a life as a royal kitty lol! You have fabulous taste, friend! I love how you’d require the affection of the King & Queen with goodnight kisses hahaha! What a way to make them YOUR subjects. ;) Also loved your affinity for comfy PJs. You are too cute! I would totally wanna lead that lush life you described. The only thing I would add - a personal court jester to entertain me with jokes/shows. ;) Thank you for thinking of me & for the spectacularly fun answer to my prompt! Hope you have a spring full of comforting delights like chocolate covered bunnies!

Chapter Links: [1: Trouble for Dessert], [2: Poison and Potash], [3: And the Devil Deals the Cards], [4: Crownlands Pride] / (Main Index)
Last chapter: Earth student Cadet Emma Booker hired Keiran, a chef with a mysterious background, to prepare low-radiation meals so she wouldn’t starve to death. Emma has been called by the magic Academy’s elvish professors to account for her dad’s chocolate cake recipe Keiran made at his experimental kitchen in the nearby town of Elaseer, starting with the heretical name.

The Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts, Secure Ritual Room. Local Time: 1945 Hours.

“Devil’s food chocolate cake.” I replied, mentally wincing at that unintentionally heretical landmine of a name.
“Chocolate cake from the evil god’s pantry”, the EVI literally back-translated the disapproving dean’s parroting response. “Explain to those assembled why your family prepares desserts venerating the miasmatic god of sin.”
Luckily, I was the right blend of mildly-furious and anxious about the sudden summons and the creepy room not to immediately bust my gut laughing.
Carefully and evenly I said, “...There is a mistranslation that has caused a cross-cultural misunderstanding. The evil god referenced in the cake’s name is an Earthrealm devil of temptation who opposes the Earthrealmer saints of virtue. In stories, this devil delights in luring Earthrealmers into vices both great and extremely petty. Vices like sloth, pride, and wrath. The person who named the cake thought it was so delicious that it must be a devilish prank to provoke gluttony.”
The academics collectively side-eyed the cake, curious but unconvinced.
“Also, the name is deliberately scandalous as an attention-attracting gimmick,” I added.
“The persimmon does not fall far from its tree, methinks.” Mal'tory snidely murmured to no one in particular.
Ignoring the black-robe’s jibe, I continued, “I have not had a proper lesson on the pantheon of Nexus, other than the story you told on orientation day, Dean Astur, but am I correct in assuming the wicked miasmatic god who brought taint and disharmony into the world which then broke apart the Nexus of yore is not known to be in the habit of baking chocolate cakes or enticing mortals into overeating?”
I honestly couldn’t be sure about that. The Library’s denizens enjoyed sweets.
“Decidedly not,” Astur replied, his severeness cracked by the abrupt imagination of Nexus’ satan gleefully offering him a sinful abundance of delicious homemade desserts.
“And I also suppose the tainted god challenging bards to musical duels where they wager their mortal soul for the devil’s fiddle made of gold is not a story told in Nexian legend?” I had heard that one from a compilation of ancient folk songs from the gulf country.
Belnor stretched her back and winced, “There is a sort of similar tale in an epic poem about a band of heroes given eight supposedly hopeless quests.” She waved at one of the satin chairs with claw feet. It waddled on over with stilted, felt steps, dragging one of its legs. Belnor frowned at it, muttering, “Must have been when–” and cut herself off before she said something I wasn’t supposed to know about, beckoning one of the chair’s mates instead.
She went on, “The bard wagered his mythical sword, Featherlight, to challenge a wicked woodland spirit for its golden pipes. But the evil spirit has nothing in common with the evil devil-god of miasma other than general villainy.”
“This vice-provoking, musically-inclined... devil appears to be a figment from your world’s legendarium or ancient oral traditions then.” Vanavan said more to Astur than me, like he expected as much.
I just shrugged because there was no way to answer that without inviting a dressing down from a diplomat back on Earth for making declarations about religions.
Astur brought his hands together with a deliberately melodramatic swirl of his belled sleeves, “Earthrealm’s spiritual darkness will need to be addressed sooner rather than later it seems.”
Mal'tory dourly pressed the attack, “There is also the matter of the toxic ingredients.” He half circled me with slow, venomous enunciation.
“A product of haphazard pastoralism is unlikely to recognize the merits of Cuisine Nexica, but the Academy takes great pride in selecting superior ingredients to ensure excellent nutrition for the best and brightest growing minds who will inherit the crowns of their kingdoms.” Meaning not me.
“The academy also absolutely ascertains the trustworthiness of the stewards of its kitchens, pantries, and fields to guarantee students are not exposed to poisons or inferior preservation spells, especially those which might be introduced by outside agents. A single student’s carelessness could affect many others.”
Professor Mal'tory stalked towards Chef Keiran, eying him with endless disdain before turning back to me, “As you are doubtlessly unaware, this man calling himself ‘Chef Keiran’ did not leave the Crownlands on good terms with his former patron or his colleagues.”
Keiran straightened stiffly.
My inner Ilunor stamped its blue lizard feet down before Mal'tory could tell a twisted version of the cook’s backstory for him, “Professor Mal'tory, I hired Chef Keiran for his merit, not his life story.” Keiran’s lack of self-introductions did strike me as dubious, but I trusted Rila because she was one of the few in this whole world to cast aside Nexian bias and believe in me effortlessly.
“All the food the academy serves is deadly poisonous to me which is why I have been forced to privately fund outside arrangements. The Academy has seen fit to leave the finer details of surviving Nexian hospitality as an intellectual exercise for humanity,” I wanted to put it on record that humanity tends to bubble up culpability when an agent of the government is involved.
And to hammer the point home, I shifted my gun-side hand to my hip deliberately to remind the man of the problem he unleashed that I solved, “...so I assumed the task of procuring safe food was yet another ‘test of my candidacy’. And I’d rather not embarrass the Academy’s reputation by dying of entirely preventable starvation.”
Keiran winced at the glove thrown down in front of the Crown’s own, and Larial shuddered slightly at my allusion, but I kept my silent attention firmly on the hawk-yellow eyes of my primary malefactor, a staredown which to his credit he matched coolly, despite seeing only his own reflection in my opaque armor faceplate.
“Chef Keiran’s recipe referenced alterations.”
Mal'tory motioned without even looking at Larial, and she turned to her gargoyle Lortal. The stone beast trundled over and presented Keiran’s cookbook in its enormous taloned hands. The leather-jacketed tome was absurdly large, even bigger than Thalmin’s sightseer. Four sturdy yarns hung limply from its untied corners. I don’t recall Keiran ever leaving his book untidy like that and could vaguely remember from video-mail from his kitchen that he knotted the paired ends together when the book was open.
Larial carefully unhooked the belt holding the cookbook closed.
ALERT: UNKNOWN MANA-SURGE, 675% ABOVE BACKGROUND, LOCALIZED TO FRIENDLY A110: APPRENTICE LARIAL AND OBJECT: CHEF KEIRAN’S COOKBOOK
Larial flipped to the pages towards the end.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not an illuminated manuscript. And, of course, a Crownlands-core citizen wouldn’t settle for ordinary fancy vellum pages. No, for the cake recipe, Chef Keiran used chocolate-black parchment with glittering white and gilded text like he had come down with a bad case of the gel pen craze every human kid goes through because all primary-grade schoolwork has to be handwritten to develop hand-eye coordination. The key art of the cake with a slice cut out was framed by an elaborate line drawing of the howling beast of Elaseer woods, eyes aglow and back arched to roar at the sky like a savage were-something-or-rather straight from a Castles and Wyverns monster manual.
Magicrealmers just overdoing the darndest things was rather charming when they weren’t trying to act superior about it. Part of me wondered if humanity had lost some beauty ineffable in our all-out-race for efficiency, compatibility, and standardization. The other part knew that I would not be standing where I was today if mankind had not equitably brought everyone together and channeled their energy into core pursuits. I am not sure where the balance between focus and frivolity lies, but maybe this part of contact with Nexus might do our culture some good, assuming we could resolve our differences peacefully.
Still, I had a foreboding feeling that when my adventures got declassified, the sleek modern fashion that asserted itself through subtlety, optimized mathematical curves, and frictionless use was going get a boot out the penthouse window because humanity would avenge me by proving to Nexus we could peacock every human in ostentatious embroidered silks, gold, and gems.
Anyway, the recipe’s calligraphy was so effusive and wrought with superfluous meanders that EVI pondered its translation for a quarter second before converting it into florid English script that it immediately toned down because I still couldn’t read it.
The first page was entirely preamble. It began with a note that the recipe was the father of the first Earthrealm candidate’s variant of a classic cake originating within the United States of America a thousand years ago and added that Dad was briefly an apprentice to a ‘chocolatier’, a profession dedicated solely to cocoa-based confections.
I had tried to explain to Chef Keiran that all humans go through at least fifteen years of mandatory education and that my dad took a chocolate-making elective for one semester when he was starting out his tertiary school. I had the feeling Keiran didn’t comprehend what society might gain from diverting ‘commoners’ from their destined roles in their important formative years, but he seemed more understanding when I explained that electives are for exploring tangential skills and to develop additional modes of thought that might be useful to their core pursuits once they decide them. The Chef had apparently done a stint with some faction of the Nexian Navy and the cramped boat lifestyle broadened his horizons because the sea swallowed everyone equally.
The text quickly turned into blather exalting the dessert’s cakey and chocolaty virtues, food and holidays-I-have-never-heard-of pairings, overly-theatrical suggestions for dramatic serving, a recurring insistence that that especially dark, debittered cocoa be used, and my eyes started to glaze over so I turned over to the next pages where it began describing the preparation in paragraph form.
That’s about when I noticed a spindly purple dragon hiding in the knots and vines flanking the ramble, oh and some panicking elvish chap getting mobbed by oversize chickens, ... and was that my octocopter? The professors awaited my reaction while I flipped forward and hunted the marginalia for more critters.
Mal'tory impatiently tsked like I was an idiot child, and Larial turned back to the first page and quickly ran a finger down it, causing the calligraphy to slither into a simplified, neat list of ingredients.
Of course, mana-dependent functionalities. This one I could get behind though because it literally parted the noise to get straight to the point.
EVI compiled a bullet point list of the differences between my dad’s recipe and this one on the side of my HUD without prompting. Most of the substitutions seemed to be Nexian recreations of basic ingredients whose manufacturing I took for granted, referring back to recipes that must be earlier in the book.
Instead of giving a quantitative temperature, the oven was “moderately slow”. The added salt had been cut back to account for salted butter. Our cake flour was Nexus’ “weak” and very finely sifted “soft wheat” flour. Keiran had also exchanged the chicken eggs for duck eggs, noting Nexian chickens are too small and gamey to be an acceptable substitute. That explained the oversize chicken attack in the margins.
The chef’s questions about eggs were one of the topics in the flurry of note passing right at the beginning when Keiran was trying to figure out what Earthrealmish conventions like ‘all-purpose flour’ meant. I had tasked the EVI with generating most of the replies because, ironically, the virtual intelligence knew more about basic food than I did — just so long as you didn’t ask it to estimate edibility. Before I bounced off to fantasy-land, Auntie Ran had been trying rectifying my cooking deficiencies, but I was still an auto-noodles and add-water-and-oil-to-the-box-mix level of baker.
“Certain quantities have been altered to account for differences in sizes and breeds, but the fundamentals are the same.”
Mal'tory pressed anyway, “These two, coffee and cocoa, are sickmaking to more than half of adjacent realm species and particularly deadly to two in your peer group.” Their text dimmed as Mal'tory tapped them, the Nexian equivalent of ticking an interactive recipe’s checkbox.
“I am aware that my peers may possess severe allergies to foods my own people consider safe. I had no intention of sharing the cake. It should be apparent that it holds special significance to me.”
Mal'tory turned to glower at the leading paragraph about my father. I fiddled with my HUD contrast balance settings, and I could barely make out his robe too had subtle patterns in the dark. Did they have magical function, or were they just art? Maybe if I wasn’t a nullfielder and could see the threads and auras of mana like everyone else in this world, I could make out what they were.
“‘United States,’ is this another name for your ‘United Nations’?” I guess Mal'tory was peckish for a little side of intel to go with his course of questioning. I indulged him because humanity wanted Nexus to at least understand our basic institutions.
“No, the United States is a single nation within the United Nations, one of the founding members. It is composed of many states that are... bound by shared laws and tied by freedom of residential movement across state borders,” deliberately choosing more palatable Nexian concepts. “Each state individually and the United States collectively use the electorate and appointment government system we discussed earlier.”
Mal'tory pinched the bridge of his nose. “Earthrealm’s leadership has more layers than a folded buttermilk biscuit.”
Heh, that might be the first thing about humanity that Mal'tory has been right about.
“The many layers are a necessity arising from civilizational complexity. No matter how capable and organized the officers, the finite hours of the day are a limiting factor in wise governance. As a civilization grows, it is inevitable that new subdivisions, departments, and offices will be created to delegate local power and pursue specialized tasks. The Privy Council you work for is one of these specific-interest delegations related to statecraft, correct?”
Mal'tory didn’t appreciate me using him as a launch pad to brag about my people. He formalin-fixed me with a sharp, silencing glare. Keiran looked fascinated. I hadn’t talked human politics with him, but he was probably surprised and intrigued that a newrealmer could even conceive of such lofty philosophies if prior conversations with my peers were anything to go by.
Belnor, tenderly holding the leg of the broken chair in her lap like she was dressing a dog’s injured paw, used the silence to steamroll over Mal'tory and me before we could get into another row. Her plump expression was firmly locked on the ingredient listing, “The way this is written... it looks more like instructions for a potion.” Looking to me and Keiran alternatively, “Can you explain this ingredient?” She poked at ‘Pearl ash alkalized “dutch” cocoa.’ “Why react pearl ash with cocoa?”
“Pearl ash?” Larial spoke for the first time.
“Especially pure potash,” Belnor responded first.
I glanced at EVI, and it helpfully annotated those were impure sources of potassium carbonate, which also made me realize I didn’t understand the point of reacting a base with chocolate anyway. The math-eyeball grokked my predicament and started sprouting additional encyclopedia entries about the Dutching process and different cocoas which I immediately bundled up and flung into the secondary priorities tab offscreen because it would be too suspicious if I paused long enough to read them.
Keiran had me covered. “Earthrealm alchemist-chefs discovered that processing cocoa with a mild base reduces its acidity and bitterness, darkens the cocoa, and accentuates the aroma.”
Vanavan made a subtle twist with two fingers.
ALERT: UNKNOWN MANA-SURGE, 125% ABOVE BACKGROUND, LOCALIZED TO FRIENDLY A01: PROFESSOR VANAVAN.
It had to be some sort of spell to waft the air because everyone who didn’t have their face smushed in a sterile air rebreather all took a surreptitious sniff.
“Pearl ash from the thermal decomposition of clarified wine beeswing is the most suitable. Earthrealm recipes using naturally alkaline baking soda as the primary leavener contraindicate alkalized cocoa while acidic ingredients encourage it. In this recipe, deep color is vital to the aesthetic so especially dark alkalized cocoa is paired with naturally acidic sour cream to neutralize it.” Since when did Keiran learn to speak lab nerd?
“Foreign reagents, familiar logic.” I could hear Belnor mentally promoting Chef Keiran for apparently knowing a little about practical alchemy, “And ‘baking soda’ is the earthrealm descriptor for...”
“Completely pure alchemical soda which replaces leavening spells entirely and does not impart extraneous flavor or require fermentation.”
He preempted Belnor’s raised eyebrows at me.
“Pure alchemical reagents are not only common in Earthrealm recipes for leavening and stabilization, but kitchen maintenance guides proudly suggest frivolous uses like deodorizing cutting boards and artifices and even pouring baking soda down clogged drains with vinegar and hot water to unstick them.”
Belnor once again whipped back towards me.
“I too found the apparent abundance of these alchemicals exceedingly curious. Cadet Emma Booker explained that Earthrealm is blessed with large dry alkaline lake beds of trona and tincal on several continents and want not for them.”
The EVI had suggested I offer up evaporation sources after the chef had poked the topic for the third or so time in our voicemail back and forths that accompanied the drone. Apparently cooking chalk tripped over some IDOV math. I was pretty much full on trusting my EVI to have mapped where the boundaries of believability lay.
“Earthrealm has thus contrived to make them household staples, at least as far as their culinary arts go. Borosilicate glass cooking dishes and measuring cups are also kitchen standards within common means.”
Belnor gazed into the cake, head spinning at the alchemical goldmine Earth must be.
“And the coffee?” Larial asked. That ingredient was probably up her alley with all the running around Mal'tory had her doing.
“It intensifies the cocoa’s aroma and sharpens the flavor without overpowering it.”
Larial scrutinized the cake and her eyes suddenly narrowed. “And what are the flower and curls made of? They don’t appear to be pulled sugar.” The professorial collective stared down Keiran with renewed suspicion.
Chef Keiran smirked mischievously like he had been caught. He averted his eyes, “By far the most difficult part, milady Apprentice. Even with earthrealm artifices and painfully exact instructions, those caused me weeks more failed trials than alkalizing the cocoa nibs without eliminating too much of the flavor.”
“They are... milk chocolate.” ❧

Chapter Links: [1: Trouble for Dessert], [2: Poison and Potash], [3: And the Devil Deals the Cards], [4: Crownlands Pride] / (Main Index)
This is a completed, four-part fanfiction loosely based on StopDownloadin's Eat Well, Live Free. Thank you to StopDownloadin for beta reading.

Hi Shanghai!
My husband and I will travel to Shanghai in May fro 10 days and we are currently looking at what to do and what we should absolutely buy to bring back with us.
I am a big fan of cdramas and am planning on visiting Hengdian world studios when we are here.
Anyway, is there any store that sells merch from cdramas in Shanghai? Do the merch even exist?
Also, I love the chinese calligraphy and would like to buy some supplies for it. I don't need it to be over the top fancy as I'm bad at it. But a general store that would sell a big variety of things (like Orihon) would be great. Can you also recommend where to buy calligraphy made by better people than me?
Thank you all !