A bit of context: I teach asiatic archery at my range, and while it was originally out of demand, I’m now in a plateau where a lot of people don’t even know there’s a coach like me around, even if they bring in an asiatic bow not knowing how to shoot it. I’ve stopped relying on the staff members remembering to pass out my info to people who would be interested, they seem to forget constantly
Something I noticed is that a fair number of younger teens and adults are trying out archery after seeing a movie or reading a book. But there’s a disconnect where the archery in these books isn’t the kind they get to try, which is either target archery for recurve or hunting for compound
So my plan is to come up with a pamphlet or something that can be handed out that mentions popular books that have archery in them and briefly explain how based on the context my lessons would be better suited for learning the kind of archery they’re reading about. I keep mentioning books because in movies you can see what they’re doing, even if it’s CGI or something
I’m looking for popular series with archery that I haven’t thought of or know about. So far I have The Rangers Apprentice and Brave. I think Acotar has archery in it?
Sorry for the long post

You and me, Were never meant to be.
A fleeting moment, A whisper in time, Two paths that never truly aligned.
We danced on the edge, Hoping for a spark, But the universe had other plans from the start.
Our story remains unwritten, A dream left behind, A lesson in love, And the passage of time.
In the quiet moments, I wonder what could have been, But fate had a different script, And we were lost within.
Yet, in the echoes, Of what we could not see, Lingers a bittersweet truth, You and me, Were never meant to be.
Thank you all for reading. I write more poetry on my Substack, please feel free to check it out if you would like! Take care!
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Goddamn am I thankful for you true Austinites who lit up at the spillover waterfall (free-side) below Barton Springs pool this last Saturday! As a life-long resident I’m glad to see the spillway evolve from a few cool locals with their dogs and one sketchy guy in the woods behind us, into a staggeringly large crowd of culturally diverse I-Don’t-Give-A-Fucks (and oodles more dogs) and 30 sketchy guys in the woods behind us, and one very loud macaw. I took my daughters down for a swim, but only close to the spillover where the water isn’t riddled with mud, algae, piss and the occasional dog turd. Fun times in the fog and the contact-high! We walked down stream a bit to do some fishing and when I looked back there was an ethereal haze hanging over the whole scene. It looked like Marley-Fest, but with more normal people and less cops. We hit the side spring a bit down-stream where the water is colder and clearer and met the nicest couple and their toddler under the pedestrian bridge. They offered me a hit, but I had kids with me and a date with Sandy’s. On our way back to the spillway, at that awkwardly narrow concrete ledge-walkway-thingy, a schizophrenic lady called me a “turgid tortoise” which I used as a vocab lesson and an example of alliteration for my kiddos. Another guy in the woods offered me a hit of something, not sure what. The macaw never offered me shit FWIW. Our plan was to kayak down to where all the frat boys are in the scummy part of the springs, but the rental place only took cash and I think they’re connected to the failed train re-vamp, so like no! We had a better time with all the stoners anyway and only hooked one of them while fishing, and he apologized first. Literally swam into the hook, but was very chill about it. Thanks Austin, never change.
Edit: Shoutout to the asshole drinking Heineken out of a bottle in the middle of the springs.

Hi, I'm an anglophone aspiring to be a future tower controller and I'm about to take my feast test tomorrow that I was curious to know that in the future I'm planning to take French lessons to become more fluent. Would there be a possibility of being able to be transferred after to Tower in Montreal even though I didn't do the French test during the feast but then become fluent after years of training.
Also, I keep hearing that to work in the yow tower you need to be bilingual. Is that true? Has there been instance where they will take an anglophone to work in Ottawa?

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Wandering Through the Wilderness: A Biblical Journey

Have you ever found yourself in a season of confusion and uncertainty? Just as the Israelites wandered through the wilderness for forty years, many of us experience our own “wilderness” moments in life. This period can be daunting, but within the Bible, we find stories of hope, lessons in patience, and the power of unwavering faith that can guide us through these difficult times.

The Experience of the Israelites

The story of the Israelites’ journey through the wilderness is one of the most famous episodes in the Bible. After escaping from slavery in Egypt, they wandered the desert for forty years before entering the Promised Land. This story offers several profound lessons:

• Trust in God’s Timing: Despite their long journey, the Israelites learned that God’s timing is perfect. As stated in Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (NIV), “Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you…to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.”
• Strengthened Faith: The wilderness was a time of spiritual growth for the Israelites. They faced numerous challenges, but these trials helped solidify their reliance on God. Exodus 16:12 (NIV) recounts God saying, “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight, you will eat meat, and in the morning, you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God.'”

Personal Wilderness Moments

While we might not be wandering through an actual desert, many of us encounter various forms of wilderness in our lives. These can be times of:

• Career Uncertainty: Feeling lost in your career path can be stressful, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and discover new strengths.
• Relationship Struggles: Challenges in personal relationships, whether with family, friends, or partners, can feel overwhelming. However, these times can teach patience and empathy.
• Spiritual Doubts: Moments of questioning one’s faith or purpose are not uncommon. These periods can lead to a more profound and solidified belief system.

Reflections and Applications

Take a moment to reflect on your own wilderness experiences. Think about these questions:

• How did these moments challenge your faith?
• In what ways did you find strength and guidance during these times?
• What were the lessons or insights you gained from these experiences?

By sharing your thoughts and stories in the comments, you not only reflect on your journey but also encourage others who might be going through similar situations.

Finding Hope and Guidance

The Bible offers numerous passages that provide comfort and direction while navigating wilderness experiences:

• Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
• Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Conclusion and Call to Action

Wandering through the wilderness is a challenging yet transformative experience. By looking to the Bible for guidance, we can find the strength and faith to navigate these periods of uncertainty. Remember, every wilderness journey has the potential to lead to profound spiritual growth and a deeper connection with God.
If you have a story to share or insights on how you navigated your wilderness moments, please leave a comment below. Your experiences could offer hope and encouragement to someone else navigating their own path.
Stay encouraged and keep the faith. Your journey through the wilderness is shaping you for the Promised Land ahead.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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I was very impressed with the inclusion of Soviet and American invasion plans for Iran at the start of the book.
The American usage of nuke armed B-52s comes from a series of civilian press leaks on the CIA Reading Room about the Carter Administration's war preparations for Iran that were being made in the leadup for an operation that was supposed to be conducted on October 1980.
It was probably cancelled due to overexposure with the civilian press as the CIA did ask them to kill the story and the Soviets were making very real preparations such as transferring tactical nuclear weapons from Europe to the Iranian border. Even after Eagle Claw the Pentagon projected success against the Iranians so the failure most likely wasn't a reason.
The naval component was to consist of 4 carrier strike groups (The entire USN only had 12 in 1980 and 14 in 1983) and a squadron of F-4s was based in Egypt to strike Kharg Island. 500 other USAF personalle were also present in Egypt for training to strike other unknown Iranian or Soviet targets.
The American trained Iranian Air Force wasn't very politically reliable and only a handful of pilots were trusted by the Ayatollah's regime to engage American forces.
(Lessons Learned from the Iran Iraq War, 1983)
The Iranian coastal oilfields were to be siezed by marines and at least the 82nd Airborne as they were training in Egypt at the time. The 82nd would have been the Army unit of choice for an out of area action against an opponent outside the scope of Europe or Korea as they had also been earmarked for potential intervention in Black September and the 1973 October War both by the Nixon Administration. Soviet troops marching through choke points in Northwest Iran were to be nuked by the B-52s.
A ground contingent of unknown size and composition was also to be based in Saudi Arabia at the request of King Khaled to deter a pro Iranian revolt.
The Soviet invasion would have been more heavily armed than the implied usage of paratroopers to take the oil fields mentioned in the book. One version mentions 12 "ill prepared divisions" from the Turkestan and other Central Asian Millitary Districts that would have only given American forces 10 days of forewarning. A larger force could be assembled of 16-20 divisions including troops already present in Afghanistan but there would be less of an element of suprise and it would take longer.
There were low expectations for this Soviet force as the CIA projected that it would get bogged down by organized Iranian resistance in the Northwest.
Soviet Millitary Options in Iran, 1980 Lessons Learned from the Iran Iraq War, 1983

Chapter 2: Imogen
Masada, Stronghold of Arcadia
The locker rooms were a surprisingly subdued place, contrasting with their inhabitants. The children of the upper crust of nobility could be a raucous bunch, but hours of drills and war games would tire anyone out, even if they’d gotten used to it over the years. Imogen of Arcady, heir to the Throne, was a tightly wound ball of barely contained fury and righteous indignation.
Traditionally, there hadn’t even been a throne. There were three royal houses, each in possession of one irreplaceable warship from centuries past. However, Imogen’s grandfather had consolidated enough power that House Arcady had managed to wrest control over what remained of human space. This, of course, made Imogen a target of hatred from the scions of the other two houses and their allies—as did the medical implant in her brain.
These war games were supposed to be training for how nobility should conduct themselves, but more importantly, they were a method to teach the future leaders of the nation how to wage war. There was a whole galaxy of infrastructure, ancient technology, and garden worlds to be reconquered, and everyone here was going to be involved in some capacity, and she was to be at the head of it. Some people in the room, however, failed to anything from those lessons.
Lothar, scion of House Fury, was a prime example. Time and time again she heard through Royal Intelligence about some misdeed or failure, and each time it seemed he could sink no lower. But, time and time again, he somehow found a way to become even more of a miserable wretch than he had been before. Lothar was a brilliant manipulator, and his family was powerful, so the young nobles with an ambition for power clung to him for as long as he was useful to them, regardless of how he treated them. This was a power he abused greatly, and at every available turn. Imogen had spent an annoying amount of time around the heir to House Fury, given the fact his family was second in political power only to her own. He’d not changed at all since they were children; he’d only found new victims.
He had gone too far, however. She had had enough. Lothar’s mother was not just a fleet admiral using her commission to bring to heel the disorganized worlds among the lawless unbound stars, but also head of House Fury, thus making her the second or third most powerful living human. For her son’s 18^th birthday, she had gifted him control of a small fleet of four ships. More specifically, they’d been Arcadian ships, lent under the guise of inter-House diplomacy.
Lothar had returned with only the ship he commanded from, and his executive officer had to be talked down from shooting the boy for treason. Lothar had, apparently, attempted a raid on a well-established pirate base in the region, with only four ships, and no backup. The details of his plan, if it existed at all, had not been revealed to her through Royal Intelligence.
What she did know, though, was that during this spectacularly stupid series of events, Lothar had immediately panicked when his leading gunboat was destroyed. He then used his remaining ships to cover his escape. It was pure cowardice, plain and simple. And it would not stand. He’d gotten her citizens, her sailors, killed. People that she, as heir to the throne, was responsible for protecting.
Imogen slammed her locker closed and set out to hunt him.
Lothar could usually be found surrounded by a pack of even more pathetic lackeys, and today was no exception. They sat, somehow enraptured by whatever yarn of bullshit he was spinning. As parts of the conversation floated to her ears, she realized he was sitting in the locker room bragging about his recent experiences commanding a fleet.
“I heard all about your fleet,” Imogen interrupted. “Did you make sure to tell them about how you lost three ships, and got over a thousand sailors killed?”
Lothar looked at her, sneered, and replied, “So I lost a few ships. Who cares? They’re replaceable. It was a learning experience. At least I actually do something as opposed to sitting around the palace all day.”
Imogen’s hands balled into fists. She wasn’t sure Lothar believed anything he said, really, but he was remarkably adept at pushing people’s buttons.
“Why do you care? It’s not like anyone’s going to do anything about it, not even if you go crying to your father,” added one of the lower nobles that hung about Lothar. Imogen wasn’t even sure of the girl’s name. Sadly, but the girl had a point. Nothing would be done. Those lives had ended for nothing.
“She’s right you know, there’s nothing you can do, what’s done is done. Just walk away.”
Somewhere in Imogen, fiery rage transformed into a strange sort of detached calm. Nothing would happen to Lothar. Not unless she did something about it. So she would.
She punched Lothar square in the face.
Lothar fell backwards into the metal lockers, and the room erupted into absolute anarchy. Fights like this were uncommon, especially among proper royalty engaged. News of this would be heard in dining halls and country clubs across the universe, but Imogen simply didn’t care anymore. She was going to beat the hell out of Lothar.
The bastard got back up, struggling slightly, steadied by his groupies. One of them rose to swing at her, but Lothar put a hand on his arm to stop him. He would have to deal with this himself, or he’d appear weak to all the future leaders of humanity.
Technically Imogen could have, should have, formulated a proper duel. But that could take months, and the little rat might well have found a way out. This, though, was something that could not be avoided.
The observers had made a ring around them, credits flowing like water between outstretched hands as they made bets on who would win, who would strike first, who would be most injured and so on. Many of the watchers didn’t seem to know who had insulted whom, or the context of the insults, and frankly didn’t care to learn. They simply knew good entertainment when they saw it.
Lothar stood a few feet opposite her, bouncing to-and-fro on the balls of his feet and generally trying to appear far more confident and light-hearted than he actually was. He seemed to have realized he might have bit off more than he could chew.
Imogen stood with her feet squarely planted and her legs bent slightly, open palms held front of her face, slightly curled to punch or to grab at her opponent. They circled around each other, eyes locked, hand-crafted leather boots clacking and tapping on intricate tiles.
Lothar darted out with his right fist, pivoting from the hips with the precision of hundreds of hours of practice. She blocked it with her left, gritting her teeth from the impact, ducked in and slammed a fist into his chest.
She grappled his neck, and with her weight on top of him drove her knee into his stomach. Lothar made a horrid noise as his lungs searched for air that simply wouldn’t come, but he had the clarity of mind to wrap one hand around her leg and use the other to drive a fist into her thigh as hard as he could.
Imogen yelled as she drove her elbow down like a hammer onto his back, striking at her opponent’s kidneys. Lothar crumpled, and she rolled his weight off her legs and onto the hard floor with a wet thump. He wasn’t dead, or unconscious, but she knew from experience that he was hardly able to move.
The gathered crowd seemed agitated, and a bit disappointed. The fight had been brutal, but too quick for their tastes. Imogen hated to agree, but she still wanted to fight. It didn’t feel like punishment enough. A thousand sailors dead, several ships damaged or lost. For what? Rage simmered at the senseless loss of so many lives, when they were already working with limited resources.
Imogen flipped Lothar from his side on to his back, facing up at her, and pressed her boot down on his chest. “Do you yield?”
His breath came in rasping gasps, and his glassy eyes focused on her.
“Fucking freak,” he gurgled out, “you should have died before you let them defile you,”
Imogen snarled and lashed a kick into his ribs.
The watchers cheered and jeered as Lothar yelled in pain. He curled up.
Then, quick as the vermin he was, Lothar grabbed her leg with one hand, withdrew a knife from his belt with the other, and launched himself off the pristine ceramic floor towards her chest.
Imogen’s hand whipped out to block the knife.
The crowd’s roars of excitement drowned out everything. The fighters were in lockstep, muscles twitching and feet shifting to gain any advantage over the other. Imogen ducked inside his reach and smashed her palm directly under Lothar’s nose into a nerve cluster, and then again, this time into his throat.
He let go of the knife.
Imogen, enraged almost beyond words, guided his limp body towards a bench. He fell onto the carved wood, his arm splayed slightly over the edge. She raised her booted foot and slammed it down, snapping his elbow backwards over the bench with a sickeningly wet cracking sound. He screamed and fell off the bench into a fetal position curled up on the floor. Blood oozed from his nose, a brilliant crimson mark upon the alabaster tiling, as he sobbed and cradled his arm.
The audience had mostly quieted down at this point, watching with either admiration and fear, or with a slowly building rage. As all things in Masada did, the distinction seemed to boil down to politics--namely, whether they liked her or Lothar more. Or perhaps it was simply who they were more afraid of.
One of Lothar’s people, the girl who’d insulted Imogen earlier had gone over to check on him. She rose from his side with a mounting fury and started heading towards Imogen, picking up Lothar’s discarded weapon as she went. Several of her peers followed in tow.
Imogen squared her feet and drew her own knife, long and thin with a tapered double-edge, built for thrusting in between the ribs of your enemy. She flicked a small switch and the weapon hummed to life, an impossibly thin filament of prismatic energy floating above the cutting edge as it transformed from a mere blade to something which could cut through bone and metal in an instant. It was, in essence, the same technology behind starship shielding and weaponry, but rigged into a melee weapon.
She breathed heavily as she watched them form ranks and build up the courage to approach her. Others stepped forwards to fight alongside her. There was something freeing about this, to be entirely focused on the here and now, on the morass of gore and violence. Some distant part of her though recognized that she had, perhaps, gone a little too far, and that this sort of thing brought consequences even for one of her lofty social standing.
“That’s enough,” barked the voice of one of their trainers as he strode into the room, flanked by two medics.
Imogen’s attendant, Ingrid, followed behind the trio. The crowd parted around them and quieted down as the tension left the room alongside the blood seeping into the drains. One of the medics knelt by Lothar, checking his vitals and administering aid, slathering his wounds in nanite paste.
“Did you kill him?” her attendant asked coolly, a neutral expression on her face as she eyed up the body.
Their trainer looked far more irritated, but bit his tongue.
“Probably not.” Imogen settled into a far more relaxed stance, her blade again in its sheath.
“He’ll live, your highness,” answered the second medic, examining Lothar’s vital signs on a portable viewing screen. “He’ll be spending a week or two in medical, though. I can’t give an exact timeline.”
The medic eyed the trainer, who gave a silent nod of assent. The medics quickly and precisely unfolded a litter to cart Lothar out of the claustrophobic locker room. They hurried perhaps a bit more than was strictly necessary. They likely shared the same sentiment as some of the noble children: this was no longer a place they wanted to stay.
The trainer strode towards Imogen, scowling as he went. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
She stood and met his eyes, saying nothing.
“Come now. We need to get you to medical, your highness,” Ingrid spoke quietly. She looked at the trainer. “We will discuss this later.”
Throughout this, the crowd had taken on a deathly silence. Even the arrogant sons and daughters of the upper echelons of Arcadia knew that true political power held sway over blue blood.
Still standing tall and defiant, Imogen walked out of the locker rooms, leaving her things behind. Almost none of the crowd would meet her eyes as she left, but she knew they watched her from behind, like vultures. She did her best to suppress the pain and keep from limping as she walked. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her injured.
The gym doors opened into a sprawling walkway decorated with stone paths and carefully maintained rows of trees and greenery. Buildings and shops were both free-standing and built into the station itself. Skycars flitted about above them, dancing in between skyscrapers and military installations. They walked towards her personal vehicle, long and angular, with blacked out windows, parked quite illegally on the walking path in front of the training facility.
Imogen glared at one of the ambling merchants who’d been gawking at the whole spectacle, and he darted away. The back doors opened upwards silently, and Ingrid tried to help Imogen in. Imogen knocked her hand away and hauled herself into the car.
The attendant gracefully slid in on the other side, and nodded to the driver, who took off at a clip towards the palace.
“Your hands,” Ingrid said, handing Imogen a cloth as she did so. “You’ll stain the leather.”
Imogen eyed her bloody knuckles, and dutifully wrapped them with the cloth. She leaned back in the quilted leather and stared out the window. Masada was a beautiful place, one of the last vestiges of true human civilization. Glittering buildings shined below, and above them an open view of the void beyond, thanks to pre-collapse technology. The entire assemblage rotated slowly, so over a series of days the scenery would change from stars to a jaw dropping view of Crom Cruach, the gas giant they orbited. From where they were now, it was a little bit of both, but by the time they reached the palace, the planet would dominate the view. If you sat at the very top of the palace spire, Crom would span from one end of the “sky” to the other, an endless stretch of roiling storms and lightning the size of terrestrial worlds. It felt like you could fall into it and never come back up.
Imogen looked away from the window and back at her attendant, locking eyes with her. Unlike most people, that didn’t seem to bother her. Nothing seemed to bother her. It was annoying.
“What happened back there?” Ingrid asked.
“What do you think?” scoffed Imogen.
Imogen’s eyes unfocused slightly as she examined the hand-stitched interior of her car, suddenly not interested in sight-seeing a place she’d seen a thousand times before. A familiar view snapped her out of her fugue--the palace spire. The skycar angled down gently towards a landing pad and touched down ever-so-softly. With all the sound deadening, you couldn’t even hear the engines from inside.
The doors opened, and Imogen hauled herself out, stumbling only slightly. An entourage of medical personnel had arrayed themselves to meet her, doctors, nurses, military triage medics. They’d even brought a stretcher with them. Two nurses rushed to her side, poking and prodding at her, scanning her with various devices.
“I’m fine!” Imogen eyed the stretched with disdain. She’d rather crawl than be carried into medical on something like that. “And I can walk.”
She headed inside, stalking down the corridors as fast as she could without outright running. It was quite painful, and hardly dignified, but she was tired of waiting. She wanted to get this over with. The winding path through the palace spire took her to a room nestled deep inside the complex, far away from the paths servants and nobles took through the spire. Not even the help wanted their bedroom near the good doctor, apparently. She knocked twice, then pushed the door open, knowing the occupant would be waiting for her.
“Ah, Imogen!” remarked the sole inhabitant of the room, a spindly old man fiddling about with something at one of his desks.
“They brought a stretcher, Doctor Birrer,” Imogen remarked, sitting down on the edge of the chair in the center of the room.
“Ha! “I did tell them not to waste their time. Always so dramatic.” The doctor pushed a small cart containing a variety of medical implements over and set about scanning her limbs and body for maladies, bright orange light soaking through her clothes and skin. Images of her bones and organs were displayed on holographic screens across the room, all examined closely by the Doctor.
“Your opponent is in far worse shape, I assume?” He magnified a scan of her bruised and swollen leg.
“Broken elbow. Bruised kidney. Broken nose. Crushed windpipe. A few other things, too,” she rattled off as she stared at the ceiling, trying not to look at the scans of her body, knowing what would come next.
Doctor Birrer was silent for a moment, but then he laughed slightly, shaking his head. “Well, he’ll have a longer stay in medical than you will. By far. It looks like you should just need a minor layer of nanite paste. Nothing’s broken, no lacerations. No internal bleeding. You’ll want to keep your weight off the leg for a while. No running for a few days at least,” he told her, still examining the readout.
Imogen grunted in acknowledgement.
“I’m going to do some routine diagnostics while you’re here, though,” he said, and he moved the scanner over her head.
Despite herself, Imogen couldn’t help but look. The holographic screen showed the inside of her skull, and the hateful machine curled up inside of it. Dull gray, with thin wires spreading like roots all throughout her brain. It was disgusting, but she couldn’t stop staring at it.
“Imogen . . .,” the Doctor whispered, barely audible. “You had it turned off.”
She said nothing, eyes still glued to the display.
“You could have died,” he said, now staring directly at her.
Imogen remained quiet
The Doctor shook his head, sighed, and continued his work. “You are the only heir. You have a responsibility to stay alive.”
Imogen broke her trance-like fix on the display and looked through the one-way window in the clinic at the city below, at the teeming mass of humanity sprawled out across the orbital assemblage. She was born for her people, and that was all she’d ever be.
Imogen might steal a few minutes of freedom in her rebellions, but she was the heir. That was first, last, and all she was allowed to be.
“Just fix what you can. I suspect I’m needed in the throne room,” she said, and after a pause added, “Please.”
She leaned back and closed her eyes as the warm electric feeling of nanite paste rolled over her skin, reveling in the sensation.

Chancellor Kuwari of the Scetids tried to hide a yawn behind one of his tentacles. He did not appreciate being awoken from his slumber in the middle of the night. Whatever reason the Supreme Chancellor had to summon the ruling council better be good.
He almost fell back to sleep waiting for the rest of the Council to join them. He sat up straighter as the Supreme Chancellor entered the chamber with the 6 other beings behind them. He recognized the 5 members of the Coalition’s military High Command but while the sixth being wore a military uniform, he didn’t know them.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary for one or two members of the High Command to attend a Council session, but having all five at a session ordered in the middle of the night was not good news.
Supreme Chancellor Saduhi called for order and stood up to address the gathering. “My friend, I’m sorry to call a session in the middle of the night and disturb your rest cycles.”
“But I assure you, the reason for it is most urgent.” The Supreme Chancellor gestured to one of the military officers, “ Fleet Admiral Timuwa, would you share with the Council what you told me earlier?”
Fleet Admiral Timuwa stepped forward and nodded to the unknown military officer. “This is Legate Nes-Anhur and she is the head of military intelligence.” The Legate bowed before stepping back and moving to the controls for the chamber's Holo-imager.
She tapped a few commands into the console and a map of the Coalition's territory appeared in the air. After a moment, she zoomed the map to Sector 1526 on the Coalition’s border with Unclaimed Space. With no systems for over 5 Parsecs, it was only of interest to Coalition scientists studying the stellar phenomena of the region. It also showed the recently defined border with a relatively recent addition to the Galactic community. The Humans had only made contact about 100 galactic years ago (GY), with the border set less than 30 GY previously.
The Humans were a mostly peaceful race that preferred to engage in trade, exploration, and diplomacy over military conflict. But underestimating their military capabilities is a very bad idea, as the Plyx found out.
With the Humans having less advanced technology, the Plyx assumed they would be easy pickings. The Plyx and the rest of the galaxy learned a valuable lesson from the Humans. Their knowledge of warfare helped level the field against a technologically superior enemy.
It had been centuries since most of the Galactic community had engaged in a large-scale war and they’d gotten complacent. The great powers in the galaxy utilized energy weapons in space combat, so they naturally used energy shields for defense against the weapons.
But the Humans preferred projectile weapons, missiles, torpedoes, and armoring their ships. The Plyx shields were far less effective against Human weapons than they expected. The Humans used a variety of tactics in both space and on the surface of several worlds that Plyx had trouble understanding, let alone countering.
It took less than half a GY for the Plyx to sue for peace. They’d hurt the Humans but with every battle, the Humans tried new things and revealed new technology re-engineered from the Plyx ships they captured or salvaged. It became obvious things were starting to get out of hand and the Plyx had lost the initiative in the war. So they cut their losses and started to negotiate. In one of the weirdest peace treaties ever known in galactic history, the Humans asked for several systems but offered compensation for them instead of reparations offered by the Plyx. Of course, the Plyx accepted and for years the galaxy thought Humans foolish for not only declining reparations but offering to pay for the 6 systems they asked for.
It was 10 gy before the Coalition understood how clever the Humans were. The lenient terms with the Plyx eventually turned into wary peace and lucrative trade deals. The Plyx are now one of their closest allies and trading partners.
The systems they requested provided them borders with the Coalition and several other races. It allowed them to trade directly with these entities and avoid the costs involved with shipping goods via a 3rd party. They gained far more than they would have gotten if they just demanded reparations and seized the systems.
So when the map began to zoom in closer to the border with the Humans, there was some trepidation of a conflict igniting with the Humans. But the system highlighted did not border Human space.
Fleet Admiral Timuwa indicated the highlighted system, “This is system T-57284. There were several small colonies in the system.” The Fleet Admiral turned to look at the Council members as he spoke, “Notice I said were.”
“They are gone now. Not destroyed or occupied but eradicated. Nothing left on those worlds but sterile soil and rocks. Every scrap of organic life and non-organic material is completely gone.“
“What did that?” one of the Council members exclaimed
With a glance at the Supreme Chancellor and a return nod from him, Fleet Admiral Timuwa looked at the intelligence officer.
“Bring up file #78267SC, please.” He asked before walking over to the console. He tapped a few commands before straightening up and speaking aloud. “Fleet Admiral Timuwa, authorizing the opening of file #78267SC” One by One, the other members of the High Command approached the console and repeated the steps taken by the Fleet Admiral.
An image of what looked like a dark comet appeared in the holosphere.
“This file is one of our most guarded secrets and normally only accessible by the members of the High Command. Even the Supreme Chancellor has only seen parts of it.”
“This file was initiated over a century ago after a derelict ship emerged from Unclaimed Space. “ The Fleet Admiral waited for the gasps of astonishment and outcries of the Chancellors to subside before starting again. “We don’t fully understand the exact location of its origin besides the unexplored parts of the galaxy beyond the Unclaimed Space. It was very old, at least 1 millennia old and the crew was long dead.”
The image of a strange-looking ship hovered in the holosphere.
The Fleet Admiral continued, “It took our scientists decades to begin translating the ship's database.”
“It contained a warning. A warning about some kind of enemy they called the Scourge.” “It was some kind of horde of mechanical lifeforms that would attack anything containing organic matter and any non-organic matter above ground. It uses the organic matter as an energy source to turn metals and other materials into more of them.”
“These things had completely consumed everything in the part of the galaxy the ship came from. The database said there were trillions of them.”
The Fleet Admiral turned and pointed to the dark comet. “ One of our observation drones caught this image and transmitted it via subspace so this image is less than a day old.”
“This image matches one contained in the ancient ship’s database.”
The Fleet Admiral looked around the room and looked at every Council member. “Chancellors, this is the Scourge and it is a massive force. Current estimates are that it contains over a Quintillion of these things in it.”
Chancellor Kuwari had to look up the number on his datapad and nearly dropped it when he saw what it meant.
He was so distracted in his research, that he almost missed the Fleet Admiral’s next words. “And now it’s entered our part of the Galaxy. And heading our way.” The Fleet Admiral finished
“What does the High Command propose to do about this?” Chancellor Kuwari shouted
The Fleet Admiral turned and looked at the Chancellor before speaking, “Do? There is nothing we can do to fight it. We’ll try but the chance of success looks to be less than 1%” “All we’d really do is feed the damn things but we’ll try to buy time to evacuate the worlds and colonies in its route.”
“The database also mentioned they are attracted to artificial signals so populated places will need to go dark and only use tight beam communications.” “We’ve alerted the Humans in case they head towards them instead. The Supreme Chancellor will inform the Ambassadors of the other governments.” The Fleet Admiral finished.
Chancellor Kuwari got the Fleet admiral's attention before speaking, “How long before it reaches our highly populated systems?”
“27 days give or take” He replied in a subdued tone
The chamber erupted in a low roar as members talked and shouted at each other.
The others were so involved in their discussions and histrionics, that they didn’t notice the Legate approach the Fleet Admiral and whisper something to him. Whatever it was surprised the Fleet Admiral so much that he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. “They’re Doing What?” he exclaimed, “I want confirmation.”
His question instantly brought all noise to a stop.
It took him a moment to realize his outburst had been noticed. “My apologies, Chancellors but I just received some startling news.” the Fleet Admiral explained.
“If you remember, I mentioned the database said the Scourge are attracted to artificial signals. Well, Humans began broadcasting a large amount of those kinds of signals from one of their systems on their border with the Unclaimed Space.”
Supreme Chancellor Saduhi signaled for attention and spoke once there was silence. “ Let’s adjourn this session for the evening. What you have just been told is of utmost secrecy and only shared with your leaders.” “It’s too soon to let the public know without causing a panic.”
The Supreme Chancellor looked around, “We’ll have a daily briefing session on this matter every morning from now on.”
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twenty days later, Chancellor Kuwari was entering the Council Chamber for another useless briefing on the Scourge. He’d rather sleep in but he didn’t want to miss anything new that might be shared. So he took his seat and waited for it to start.
Once the rest of the Council had finally taken their seats, the Supreme Chancellor signaled the start of the session. Fleet Admiral Timuwa began the briefing in the usual form, updating the Scourge’s distance as it traveled through Unclaimed Space towards Human space and the progress of the system of observation drones being placed along the entire border of Unclaimed Space in both Coalition and Human territory as an early warning system.
Of the situation of the military, the current production numbers of new ships being built to aid evacuation, and so on. Important but very dull info.
Fleet Admiral Timuwa was just informing the council of the status of the creation of the evacuation plans when the same Legate approached him. Every being in the room focused on the 2 officers whispering.
“THEY DID WHAT?” the Fleet Admiral loudly exclaimed.
“Are you sure?” He continued in a more normal tone.
The Legate showed him a data pad and the Fleet Admiral was shocked by what he saw.
“Transfer that to the holosphere.” He ordered
“Chancellors, I just received some very important information about the Scourge” The Fleet Admiral began.
“We were advised by the Humans that the Scourge had reached the system they refer to as RG-76, in their space.”
Gesturing to the holosphere, he continued “We also confirmed it with the observation drone in the system.”
The Council watched as the drone’s sensor information was converted to a 3-D image of a large, black cloud entering the system and beginning to spread out to engulf several planets and moons. The Council chamber was so silent, you could hear one of the Guralitic’s stomachs growl.
“This image is about an hour old, sent by subspace before contact with the drone was lost.” The Fleet Admiral continued, “We did get a confusing fragment of data that we couldn’t explain until now.”
Once again the image of the system appeared in the holosphere but now almost all planets and moons were covered in a cloud of those things that made up the Scourge. A moment later, there was some kind of brief surge of some type that overwhelmed the drone, and communication with the drone ceased.
The Fleet Admiral stepped to the center of the floor, “I just received word that the Humans attempted to destroy the Scourge.”
The volume of the room spiked as all the Chancellors tried to speak at the same time.
“I’m expecting confirmation of this information,” The Fleet Admiral said, looking at the Legate.
The Legate nodded his head and uttered “Confirmed”
The last thing he expected to see on the Fleet Admiral’s face was shock. He turned to address the Council, “ It is just confirmed the Humans attacked and likely destroyed the Scourge.” He had to take a moment and allow the uproar to die down before he could continue.
Chancellor Kuwari took the chance to interject a question, “ How did they manage that and why didn’t we do it first?”
The Fleet Admiral looked at the Chancellor and spoke, “We didn’t do it first because it’s something we’d never imagine, let alone do.”
“As for how? It was a trap. They used all those signals to lure the Scourge into the system and then they…” The Fleet Admiral’s voice faltered as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying. “They what?” one of the Chancellors snapped irritably
“They caused the system's star to go supernova and destroyed everything in the system, either by released radiation or the shockwave” The Fleet Admiral answered
Every member of the chamber looked shocked at the announcement and then horrified when the implications sunk in.
The Humans had the power to destroy a star. They were now the preeminent power in the galaxy.
Supreme Chancellor Saduhi looked at the Fleet Admiral and asked, “Do we know how they did it?”
“We sent a message asking for confirmation and how it was done.”
The Fleet Admiral replied, “They said it was a one-shot deal and can’t be done again.”
“They called it an ‘Ancient Chinese Secret’ whatever that is and declined to tell us” the Fleet Admiral finished

I hope you enjoy the story If feeling generous, feel free to buy me a ko-fi
https://ko-fi.com/tomcarey
The last line is really showing my age.

“Discover your far horizons; but embrace the sky softly, quietly, so that others of your kind may follow.
Know your limitations from moment to moment and be humble when the elements are against you.
Accept advice from those before you, seeking out their truths.
Use your temper as a catalyst to keep you advancing; guarding it with vigilance though, lest you be obliged to bite your tongue.
Leave your mistakes behind you, noting their lessons as part of your tuition for learning.
If you quit - and will want to - beginning again will be lonely.
You cannot know the colour of truth unless you wear its cloth; therefore let honesty itch your mind, gleaming conspicuous in the eyes.
If you become hostage to the fear of the unknown, challenge it with tenacity; keeping in mind, however, that only a fool is fearless.
Remember how lucky you are to see and touch the sky; the blind may only dream.
Be the opportunist; the forever hesitant are losers.
In each of us there is a conflict - daydreaming versus reality.
May dreaming prod your curiosity, but reality wield the sword.
Expect the unexpected. It will develop an awareness for Murphy's Law; if something can go wrong - - it will.
Your time on this earth is a perpetual flight plan cancelled with your passing; you are wise then, to spend each day as though it were your last among those of the living.
You are entitled to complain; use maturity if you do.
With your wings you will receive wisdom, courage and joy, but moreover you will have joined the college of a thousand friendships; never forget them.
Fly at the wind from every quarter; climb high, hesitate and tumble.
Yet above all, know when it is time to fold your fragile wings.
Remember you are not God-like, but a mere mortal, vulnerable - a pilot, and that is world enough.”
— Thomas Legg
http://www.gavmag.com/Poetry%20Pages/The%20Pilot's%20Desiderata.html
Saw a post about pilots complaining about pilots complaining and thought I’d share. Came across this a while ago, really keeps things in perspective for me at least.

I trusted the wrong person at work, someone I thought was a friend and a mental health advocate. A big lesson for me was not to trust co-workers too easily. I confided in this person about my plans to leave the job due to the intense anxiety and stress caused by a toxic manager who host monthly meetings to review all tiny errors in front of everyone. I also mentioned my plans to start a business with this coworker and the stress leave.
The job’s stress was overwhelming, if it wasn't I wouldn't had seek out. I decided to see a psychiatrist for a stress leave doctor's note since I was not okay for awhile. I shared this with my colleague because this person had done it before. Later, this individual asked me how my business plans were going, and I casually replied that I was working on it all day everyday, which was an exaggeration. There is currently no actual business and it is just in the talks.
I contacted HR about submitting a short-term disability claim which they keep records, and a week later, I was fired for misconduct. I suspect my colleague reported me, ensuring I get fired before I could go on stress leave. After 3 years at the company, I had both mental and physical health issues. I heard some pretty wild inappropriate things my ex coworkers had told me about the manager which made me scared of him. Additionally, the manager had openly told me he was transphobic, made me uncomfortable, especially since my god-brother is a trans woman. This company is a big support on LGBTQI+.
Although I had performance issues a few months prior due to long covid symptoms, I improved after being threatened with losing work privileges just before a vacation - it ruined my vacation because I did care about my job. Despite my improvements, the manager continued to accuse me of missing meetings on my days off. I received only two weeks' pay in lieu and a month of severance.
I consulted a lawyer who advised that the misconduct accusation was hard to prove and that I had a strong case. There were inconsistencies in the termination contract since there was no cause mentioned, and HR later confirmed also it was without cause. I have evidence of my intended stress leave from a nurse practitioner and was referred to a psychiatrist. The lawyer recommended asking for six months of pay, minimum $20,000, a reference letter, and an extension of health benefits for another six months. This aggressive approach seemed excessive, but the lawyer insisted I had a strong case and regardless, doesn't hurt to try. I was told large corporations rarely take such cases to court for minor misconduct, they don't want to go public, and judges don't like to waste time on something so small and would get mad at the companies for not settling with the dollar amount.
Now, I’m wondering if I should proceed with legal action or move on. I have no plans to return to this industry or work with these people again. I am also not sure if the lawyer is lacking experience.

In the tranquil atmosphere of my living room, which doubles as my office, I find myself lost in thought. With ESL classes complete and college summer school assignments under control, I have a rare moment to reflect. As the day draws to a close, I ponder: when I look back on this time in my life, what memories will remain?
The past few months have been a whirlwind, marked by a move and a staggering 90+ hours of travel across Thailand by bus. Now, I am once again in the midst of preparing for another international adventure, carefully packing belongings into storage and suitcases.
Now in my early thirties, I can’t help but feel a bit surprised at how much of my life still seems up in the air. However, I am quick to remind myself of the extraordinary experiences and personal growth I’ve undergone since leaving the United States. Despite the ongoing reinvention, I take solace in the fact that some aspects of “me” remain constant.
Over the past five years, my life has experienced monumental changes — transformations I could never have imagined a decade ago. I have embraced these shifts, recognizing that our lives often demand flexibility and adaptation in ways we don’t always anticipate. While I may not have everything figured out, I am grateful for the memories, lessons, and unique perspectives that have come from my many travels and experiences.
Five years ago, I was at a significant turning point in my life. In the preceding fifteen years, from ages 15 to 30, I had dedicated myself to caring for ill relatives. Alongside this responsibility, I managed to carve out a career as an interior design journalist, writer, and booking agent for comic conventions when time allowed, though opportunities were limited.
Then, at the age of 30, I experienced a series of losses, as I lost my my relatives and my younger sibling, Bob, started her own family, embarking on a new phase of life. This period of transition made me realize that one can become an “empty nester” just as easily at 30 as they can at 50, depending on their unique circumstances.
Amidst these profound changes, I made a career pivot and started working as a supervisor for the Department of Education’s Disability Discharge program, handling escalations. Concurrently, I embarked on a journey of learning the Korean language and began pursuing a business degree on a half-schedule.
Amidst the turbulence of the pandemic, I discovered a passion for language exchange and obtained my ESL certification. This led me to become an online ESL teacher, balancing multiple roles — teaching ESL part-time, working full-time for the Department of Education, and studying for my degree.
After more than two years with the Department of Education, I was informed that my division would merge with another, leading me to make a pivotal decision. I chose to take a substantial pay cut and transition to teaching English full-time, simultaneously preparing for an overseas move. This decision was a gradual one, unfolding over the course of a year as I downsized my belongings and moved items into storage.
In December 2022, I bid farewell to the United States and have not returned since. Despite encountering various challenges during this period, I can wholeheartedly affirm that I would gladly face them all again rather than returning to live in my home country. This sentiment is not rooted in any anti-American sentiment; instead, it arises from the profound sense of belonging, safety, and comfort I have discovered in my new “home.”
Even in the face of these difficulties, I remain steadfast in my conviction that it has all been worthwhile. In just a year’s time, I will have earned my Associate’s degree in Business, with the added benefit of graduating debt-free due to grants, scholarships, and personal savings.
With my Associate’s degree in hand, I plan to continue my academic pursuits and work towards a Bachelor’s degree in Business. Attaining this higher level of education will not only significantly boost my earning potential but will also open up a world of visa options, enabling me to secure long-term residency in my chosen country.
Once settled, my dream of establishing a home and becoming a “den mum” to adopted children will finally be within reach — creating the family I’ve always yearned for before I am forty.
A recent conversation with a friend led me to reflect on the divergent perspectives on success and ambition. My friend, dismayed by the economic and demographic issues in their home country, argued that there is little hope in any Asian country for those with ambitious goals, particularly when it comes to home ownership.
I have come to understand that success, for me, lies in achieving a comfortable life where I can support my loved ones in times of need. Specifically, my kidz and, if I am fortunate enough to have a partner, I want to be able to know I can provide for them temporarily if they fall ill/have to retrain/find another job at some point. Whether I rent or own my home is secondary to this goal. In essence, it is the intangible aspects of a fulfilling life - family, stability, and security - that constitute my ultimate ambitions.
Ultimately, when I reflect on this chapter of my life, I believe it is the people I love — past, present, and future — and the cherished bonds we’ve forged that will resonate most vividly in my memories. These deep connections, the people who have become my home and in whom I have found a home, will remain forever etched in my heart.
Moreover, I'll treasure the memories of my many adventures - the exhilaration of speeding through bustling Phuket streets on a motorcycle taxi, the surreal experience of enduring a 6.0 magnitude earthquake in Taipei, and the adrenaline rush of navigating Hanoi's frenzied traffic. These unforgettable moments, combined with the good people I've met, the stories I've gathered, and the transformative journey of self-discovery, will serve as constant reminders of the life I've lived and the resilience the people I care for and myself have shown along the way. Both together and before we met, when we were/are apart, we will have faced and overcome challenges, and those trials only strengthen the bonds we share.

memoriesforlife #lifegoals #ambition

okay so this might be long because i want to provide as much detail as possible so you can get the full picture. i (23NB) have lived in this NYC apartment for 4 years, and lived with one of my roommates (24F) (will be referred to as “A”) for the entirety of the time i’ve been in the city, which is 6 years. we were assigned roommates in college and just kept living together because at the time we were good friends and it worked! we had rotating 3rd roommates throughout the years and dealt with a lot of crazy shit together, including a violent roommate, but that’s a story for a different day. so this roommate and i had been having some issues for the past couple of years because she got addicted to ketamine. i felt responsible for her because it started out as us using recreationally together but she spiraled out of control with it and honestly the entire situation was just a lot on me. throughout her addiction she was doing, at one point, 16 grams in 3 days, so i was really worried that she would die, not to mention she doesn’t really test her drugs and was getting it from a neighborhood that’s notorious for fentanyl. it honestly became my full time job to take care of her, but at the end of the day I was just trying to be a good friend. after some therapy/self work, i now realize how enabling the role I was playing actually was, but it was just the position that I was put in and I had also never dealt with something like this before. I feel like for further context, i should add that A’s parents pay her rent and for a lot of things for her. she had a part time job at the time and was also in school but left due to her addiction. the situation that i am in is very different, my family does not support me financially and i pay for everything for myself and have made my way pretty much on my own. i’m pretty established in my neighborhood because I am a tattoo artist at a local shop and also have worked for 3 other businesses within the same few blocks. i also consistently have multiple jobs at once, now i have 3, and for a long time I was working 6 days a week. not really relevant to the situation but needless to say, i already have a LOT on my plate. anyways, so yeah. for about almost 2 years, i was dealing with my roommates addiction. i watched her overdose and throw up on herself 5-7 times, she projectile vomited all over the house, i have dragged her out of a pool of her own vomit, she would consistently lie to me about whether she was high or had bought ketamine, and our other friends and i would go through her room to make sure she wasn’t hiding it countless times, (to no avail obviously, she would always lie and say she didn’t have any more when she did, hidden in hard to find places.) it affected everyone in our friend group and in her life. but especially me because i was really the only person who was physically present for it all. i tried talking to her about it at first, and was very understanding and patient with her and genuinely was doing my best to help because she was my friend, we were really close, and I didn’t want to see her die or ruin her life. she also expected me to say something to her and would tell me that i should say something if i thought she was high. she would say this when she was sober and it started off an an “accountability partner” thing, but eventually became very codependent and unhealthy. even when i would ask her, she would lie. i made it very clear from the beginning that all of this was damaging our relationship, but i was still doing my best to be her friend and be there for her. at one point, i even took the drugs out of her room and hid them in mine to take to another friends house the next day to dispose of them, and she went into my room and found them. it reached a point where I made her call her parents and tell them what had been going on. calling her parents had honestly been in discussion for a while, and the sober version of her agreed that it needed to happen. she got a slap on the wrist and sent to the mental hospital for a few days, she even convinced them to let her out early! her parents also weren’t really involved in her care at all after because she has never been disciplined in her life, her parents think she can do no wrong. she relapsed soon after she got out and at this point, I started taking a lot more space for myself because I was mentally and emotionally drained and it was clear that all my efforts were in vain. this was after dealing with it for about a year. honestly, i should have definitely started planning on moving out around this point. the reasons I didn’t were the fact that i still considered A to be one of my best friends despite what we had gone through, all of my jobs are like a 5-10 minute walk away, and I also loved my room. i put a lot of time and effort into decorating it and I had also lived there for a long time and for a really great price, $850 for a huge room with a dishwasher, laundry in building, AND a rooftop i can smoke on outside my window with a view of a GREEN backyard with PLANTS. not some concrete bs. that’s UNHEARD OF in nyc. im also not really great with change, even if it’s for the best, and to be honest i was also naive and thought things would eventually go back to normal. this was a person that i previously trusted a lot, i didn’t think she would normally do these things to me. anyways, eventually she got sober and then my, at the time, best friend of 7 years from home, a state across the country, moved in. (22 F, let’s call her “B”) we met in high school and I was in the class above her. we only went to school together for a year before I graduated and moved to NYC, so for the past few years, our friendship had been over facetime/seeing eachother occasionally when I would come visit. B’s background is similar to mine, the state we’re from is very impoverished and we both left the religion we were raised as. another huge reason she moved here was so that she could start medically transitioning and get on estrogen. i was really excited for her and also wanted to support her in her transition, im also non binary and we come from a really transphobic state, so growing up queer in the south was like a huge part of our friendship, and when she moved in, she didn’t have a lot of gender affirming clothes, and i had a ton of clothes, so i gave her a bunch of mine, i sent her resources, lent her books/zines, point is i really was trying to support her, and before she moved in and even throughout us living together we would talk for hours about this stuff. also, normally, i would not feel the need to even mention the fact that someone is trans, but all of this is relevant to the story. i will also add that I know now to never live with friends! at the time, i thought it would be okay because I trusted her and we seemed to have good communication on roommate matters and i think we both had good intentions going into it. we would say things like “i don’t plan on moving out on bad terms” “we can communicate and respect eachothers boundaries!” etc. i also knew that she really wanted to move here because she had talked about it for years and she came and visited before she moved in. so yeah, things were great at first, but not for long. so I am someone who, like I said, am at work most of the time and when i come home from work I just want to relax and smoke weed and chill and if you know me in real life, you know that i’m not a very beefy person and it takes a lot to really make me upset, i’m generally chill about most things, honestly to my detriment. so the first signs of things starting to go south were when B started to say that I was ignoring her. this was confusing to me, as we hung out most days after I got off work, and she even had a job herself at the time, (she’s been fired twice in the past year and was unemployed on and off) so she wasn’t like completely trapped in the house all the time. I would try to inquire further and understand why she thought I was ignoring her, and reassure her that I’m listening. she started telling me that she needs a lot of reassurance, and i told her that I am happy to reassure her whenever needed! we talked it through and i genuinely started to put in a lot of effort into making sure i was being fully present during our time together and also making sure I was hanging out with her enough. this evolved into us having very extensive conversations for hours where she would bring up the fact that she still felt like i was ignoring her, and i would reassure that I was not purposefully ignoring her, im listening and really trying. and almost daily she would bring up a problem that she had with something that I said or did. she even at one point started tweeting about me, saying things like “do u even consider others?”. she also asked me to be on constant emotional monitoring for her, which i told her that i will not do that. i don’t really pick up on subtle social cues or “shade” and also it’s not my job to do that. if something upsets you, you can communicate with me about it instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to be able to read your mind. plus, real friends don’t have to be responsible for every single emotion! at one point, she told me that she was mad at me because living together wasn’t living up the the idealized version of what she thought it would be. she would also guilt trip me like a LOT. she would be like “as a friend, you should be doing ____ for me” and her requests got more and more ridiculous as time went on, one of them being to basically force myself to start listening to a genre of music that i simply just don’t like or want to listen to during my own time, insinuating that i would be a bad friend if i didn’t like the same music as her. and to that, i tried to explain to her that we don’t have to like the same music in order to be friends and that i don’t care if she listens to music that i don’t particularly listen to on my own, although i am happy to listen to her recommendations, i am picky about the music I listen to. basically i felt like she was trying to find any stupid reason to say i was a bad friend. it started to really annoy me, because i already had a lot on my plate, and honestly i just didn’t have the bandwidth to be fully present all the time, especially after dealing with my other roommates addiction for so long. i needed space and time for myself really badly, and I felt like I was trying really hard to please her to no avail. all of this was incredibly exhausting to deal with. i tried to communicate this to B, but it never got through. during these very tedious conversations, B would say things that were extremely concerning, such as “You need to stop triggering me!!!” to which i responded, “okay let’s make a deal, i will be more mindful of your triggers if you work on managing them.” she would also constantly make accusations at me. for example, she accused me of laughing AT HER when i was not, and I was laughing at something completely unrelated. there were many other times that she accused me of doing and saying things that I never said or did. she would twist my words a lot, things i told her in confidence, and use them against me, adding an entire new meaning to what i was saying. and if i disagreed with her or got even a little defensive she would be like “You just pissed me off!!!!” i honestly felt like she was just picking on me and criticizing me at a lot of points, because I could literally breathe wrong and it would be an issue. i now realize that she actually just needs to create drama, but i didnt want to admit that at the time. again, during this time I was trying to be very calm during our conversations when trying to reassure her and explain myself, but internally I was very stressed out by all of this. at some point during all this, A relapsed. this was a disaster, B knew about the relapse and was lying to me about it. i was especially upset because the way A relapsed was she asked me to unlock the parental password on her phone so she could “update apps”, but instead she downloaded the app she uses to text her plug, so essentially she tricked me into enabling her relapse. i messaged her parents immediately and told them. at this point, i felt like it was expected of me to do that. of course, they basically did nothing for a while, it got really bad. A was basically not functioning at all. she would tell me that she didn’t care how she made me feel. our other friend came over and went through her room and babysat her to make sure she wouldn’t do ketamine but she pretended to go to sleep while he was literally crying next to her and she got up and did it right after he left. a lot of horrible things were said, i would express the fact that i hate that i can’t trust her, and she would scream back “i don’t want you to trust me!”, amongst many other awful things. we would hear loud snorting like every few minutes every single day, which was extremely stressful. she broke the stove because she was high, it was affecting the way she looked and her physical health, and at this point it was a safety concern for her and for B and I, because we did not want to be responsible if something happened to her and this was affecting us tremendously. eventually, B and I called her parents and told them a lot of details and begged them to send her to rehab, I had to send them a long text message being like super blunt about the fact that she needs to get professional help or she will die, and they were basically saying that ultimately it’s up to her, which was bullshit in my opinion, but she did end up going. during the time A was in rehab, things with B got progressively worse. a lot of weird and horrible things started happening, she berated me for like over an hour about one of my closest friendships, that she met once and got “bad vibes from”, i told her that I didn’t want to be put in a position where i have to defend my other friendships to her, especially ones that have nothing to do with her, and that this person is an extremely good friend to me, and that she didn’t have to be around her if she didn’t want to. i was asking her to stop but she wouldn’t! she was pulling bullshit reasons why i shouldn’t hang out with this person anymore out of her ass. for context, B drinks a lot, and she drank the night we all hung out while my other friend and i didn’t really drink. she was like “i actually HAD to drink that night because your friend was making me so uncomfortable!” which, that night was extremely normal and chill, nothing bad happened at all, also don’t blame me or anyone else for your own habits! she would pick fights almost daily. on halloween, we got drunk together with one of the people she was seeing at the time, and she ended up berating me in front of this person for ignoring her, not respecting her, etc and the person had to step in and tell her that she’s making pointed comments at me and not hearing me out, and that she was being horrible to me. (this is not the only time someone hung out with us together and then told her that she was being an asshole to me.) that night, she said a lot of hurtful things, such as “at least i don’t have a bunch of fake friendships!” (as if my friendship with her was the only “real friendship” i could have) and “you don’t have the lesbian experience you claim to have!!!!” (what does that even mean??? i’ve been lesbian since before we met lol) and she also falsely accused me of saying that being a lesbian is worse than being a trans woman, which i never said! i have never even thought that and that is not how i feel at all! at first i tried to explain everything using logic, but eventually i basically told her to stop projecting her insecurities onto me and to stop dragging me into her shit. she slammed the door in my face when we got home. we didn’t talk for like a month. during this month, i really needed some outside support, so i reached out to some trusted people to tell them what was going on and get some advice on what i should do/ how to handle the situation, and to get an outside perspective. honestly, that night was the straw that broke the camels back and sent me into a full mental breakdown from the stress of everything that had been going on in the house. i was like scream crying every single day for the entire month, unable to function at work, not thinking clearly at all. everyone in my life was telling me i should just move out asap. i think i was just extremely upset because I then realized that my relationships with both of them were not healthy, but i really cared about these people. i was extremely disappointed in how things were going, and i was also extremely worried about both of their wellbeings, i didn’t want anything to happen to them or to not have them in my life. and i was also upset that they had been being absolutely horrible to me and i was honestly just sick of being treated like shit by my roommates at this point. honestly i was an asshole when i would talk about it sometimes, but how was i supposed to be kind when everyone was being so cruel to me for no reason? i was honestly really mad, especially because B knew the stress of taking care of A, like why are you adding to the intense stress i already had just experienced?? during this time, i realized that all of this was happening because of B’s untreated BPD. to clarify, i do not care about people having bpd or other mental health disorders as long as you are not hurting other people, which, B was hurting me a lot and honestly our relationship was pretty destructive to my mental health. i also realized that these friendships were wildly codependent and unhealthy, and I needed to set boundaries. i can only take so much abuse!!! and i felt like a scapegoat for both of them and a crutch in the situation. although i still cared for these people, i knew that this was not sustainable long term. i could not handle the weight of A’s life on my back or the way I was being treated by either of them, or the fact that my home was not actually safe. at first, i was going to move out and take a break from the friendships, with the intention of hopefully rekindling when we were all in healthier places, but also the need to move out felt super urgent. the stress from this entire situation had leaked into every area of my life. i was doing poorly at work, every person in my life was telling me how i needed to get out asap because this shit was bad for my health and they had watched my mental health deteriorate because of it but i really didn’t want to move, i had lived there and known these people for so long. after chatting with other people who have bpd who are in therapy and live an emotionally healthy life, they told me that what really helps people with bpd is if you are honest with them and encourage them to seek treatment, as well as setting clear boundaries around their behavior. i was the closest person to her at the time, so i wanted to be honest with her and try to help, i wrote both of my roommates long text messages explaining how i felt and what my boundaries were moving forward. they did not take this well! they started justifying their behavior to eachother, and made me out to be the villain in the story. A told B that i told other people she had bpd, which i did do! but i did that because i needed support and advice, and I also couldn’t handle the horrible treatment i was receiving, the weight of all of this was extremely heavy. not because i was trying to “turn people against her”, as they were trying to make it seem like. this is a real life adult issue, not some petty sides picking bullshit, and i genuinely needed support because everything that was happening was making me feel insane and extremely stressed out. I even previously asked A not to say anything to B to make the situation worse and that at this point I just wanted to have conversations surrounding solution. B was upset that I told people what was going on and accused me of being manipulative. i honestly understand why she would be upset about that, it’s a very stigmatized disorder and it wasn’t really my place to share that information. i also told these people those things in confidence, i didn’t expect them to tell her i said anything to try to make the situation worse. and i also only told people that i trusted and honestly i just wanted help and support and an outside perspective and to express my feelings. after i sent the long text messages to my roommates, (i let B read hers in person so we could have open dialogue and A hers while she was in rehab so she could talk about it in therapy) (also i know that long text messages are not the best way to communicate and work through issues, im going to avoid doing that in the future) B’s response was basically something like, yeah i have bpd and yes I was projecting my shit onto you and lashing out at you, but I used to do way worse things to people. but thank you for typing this out and i’m gonna start going to therapy and working on it. she also said something like “well. friendships are through the good, the bad, and the ugly. sorry that you saw my ugly side!” like. okay. a real apology would be nice lol. in the days after this, i ended up having a huge mental crisis from all of the overwhelming stress and could not function properly, i had to go to the hospital. once i got back from the hospital, all I wanted to do was work on myself. i started creating distance from them and going back to therapy and al anon, and really started trying to pull my own shit together. i apologized for telling other people and said that I wouldn’t tell anyone again, and i didn’t. A’s sibling and i suggested that we go to family therapy so that we could have healthier relationships, A’s parents even offered to pay for it, but it never actually happened. things were kind of okay for the next few months. i wasn’t as close to either of them, but i was okay with that because I needed space and to be able to focus on myself. i talked about it a lot with a therapist, and i was essentially trying to maintain the friendships in a non codependent way. i honestly just kept to myself for a while and started taking a lot more alone time. forgot to mention, another reason they were mad at me was because I was going to move out on short notice (before i went to the hospital), but I also was going to find someone to fill the room to make the process less stressful for them, and i was vetting people to make sure they would be a good fit, and i wanted A and B to meet and approve of the person. i needed to get out of there as fast as possible, but i wanted to put effort into finding someone compatible with them. i already had a place to go lined up, but it fell through (the stress of trying to move also contributed to me going to the hospital and the situation i was going to go into seemed great at first but turned out to be a complete mess), and i also felt really guilty and horrible, so i ended up staying and trying to repair and maintain the relationships while also taking adequate alone time and upholding my boundaries. anyways, a few months pass, all i have been doing at this point is working on myself and going to work and coming home and chilling, there hasn’t really been much conflict besides the normal A being a passive aggressive asshole (which she always has been. looking back, i don’t even know how i was friends with someone like this) and B would still say disturbing things every once in a while, such as comparing me to past friendships that didn’t work out, and at one point she even flipped the narrative subtly to make it seem like i “had an outburst for no reason”. (when she is actually the person who had the outbursts towards me), and generally just blame shifting a lot in subtle ways, saying I was the one who “changed the dynamics of the house”, even though all I did was set boundaries and take time for myself, plus, the previous dynamic obviously was not working. but honestly i was just kind of ignoring it. at this point the dynamic has been A and B spending most of their time together, (they also have a codependent friendship) and me mostly keeping to myself, but hanging out occasionally and being cordial in the apartment. I was okay with that because I really just wanted alone time anyways, and I made it clear to them that I need time to work on myself, which i was doing a lot of, and B started therapy so I thought we were all just kind of working on ourselves at this point and trying to move forward. so one day, A and B go back to A’s home state together for a week, i was honestly a bit upset by this because we originally planned to all go together, we have all always gone together in the past, and honestly i thought things were chill now that everyone was in therapy, plus we had hung out on purpose occasionally. nope! once they got back, they told me I had to move out! i was extremely upset by this. honestly i was at my wits end with their bullshit, especially since A had continued to be an asshole to me even when i was still being kind and normal to her. honestly i am glad I had to move out, my life is going to get a lot better now that I don’t have them in it, but I was still just like. pissed because honestly my only objective this entire time has been to exist in my house and also I just felt like it was unfair especially considering the fact that they were the ones who were causing the issues, although I do recognize my part in them. i was codependent AF and trying to fix my friends, enabling horrible things to happen in my life to the point of going actually insane, i had extremely poor boundaries in the name of trying to be a good friend, and i should have left a long long time ago. but anyways, when they told me I had to move out, i basically said that I agreed and that I didn’t want to live with them anymore, i slammed my door and blocked them both on instagram, i also removed all of my personal belongings from the common areas. thankfully, my real friends were all there for me during this time and letting me crash on their couches. i didn’t really want to be in the apartment. within the next few days, i started getting harassed over text by their friends and unfollowed by people who were associated with them. they started going on a smear campaign against me! their friends started harassing me over text, saying “you need the mental hospital. stop pissing in glasses and stop speaking on trans people. seek the maximum amount of help possible” so basically, at this point, they’re basically telling people things that are blatantly untrue. i have never pissed in a glass before, in fact, i know B has pissed in cups in her room for her whole life (probably where she got the idea from) besides, pissing in cups isn’t a crime! also, at this point, i thought we had already talked out and worked through the me telling people about B’s BPD. so i messaged them and I was like. “can you guys please stop slandering me. this has been a traumatizing situation for all of us. honestly i would prefer for this to be as smooth as possible. i have not pissed in a glass and i have no idea what i even said about trans people that was offensive or hurtful” and they responded by saying “we have proof you were misgendering me and the shit we found out was before A’s relapse and before we had a fight”. so basically, while they were on vacation, they went LOOKING for things to use against me. A’s relapse was 8 months ago at this point, why are you digging stuff up from back then to use against me now?? i also have no idea when i misgendered her, and it was obviously a complete accident. i went through every message i sent in the past year that had anything to do with her and couldn’t find any misgendering. at this point, i did not inquire further because I was sick of having to defend myself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding me and also manipulating the situation to make me seem like a bad person. honestly, i don’t care much about the smear campaign, because most of those people i didn’t really like anyway, and the ones i did who believed them, i know now that they’re not my real friends. (even though it’s the same people saying that the way I was treated by A through her addiction was incredibly unfair to me, and asking why she is doing this to me. how dare I be actually affected?!) although the saying i’m transphobic thing is really frustrating, especially considering the fact that i literally invited you to come here SO THAT YOU COULD TRANSITION and the fact that I am also non binary. but also, how are you going to come into my home after I invited you to move in with me out of the kindness of my heart, start yelling at me and attacking me constantly and disrespecting my boundaries, kick me out of MY OWN HOUSE, and then smear my name, saying things that are blatantly untrue, to people i knew for years BEFORE YOU MOVED IN, who I INTRODUCED YOU TO ???? anyways, B went into my room while i was at work and took all of her artwork off my walls, which i don’t care about the artwork, but her going into my room made me really uncomfortable, so I installed a lock on my door until I could move out. B also ripped my mentor at the tattoo shop’s artwork off of the walls, stole it, and when i demanded it be returned it was returned to me vandalized. (she knows that my mentor wants the best for me and supports me in many areas of my life). so at this point, i’m being harassed and my items are being stolen. i had to get out of there asap, at this point it was a safety concern, it has honestly been a safety concern this entire time. so I ended up finding a place that’s the same amazing price and great quality in the area that’s still close to my jobs with people who are actually healthy and normal!!! and i moved out a month before I was supposed to because my mom and the rest of my support system agreed that it was not safe for me to stay another month, i didn’t tell them that I was moving early because I knew they would damage my things. It took me 2 days to move, and the night in between me moving, they stole my bike and put it out on the street. and A admitted that she did it out of spite because I moved early. so I stole some things back to get even and I also did not repaint or repair the room like I was supposed to, (i was going to originally before my bike was stolen) but I left her my deposit to cover the repainting etc. i also unfortunately dumped old protein shake on the floor out of pettiness and hatefulness. i am not normally like that but I was FUMING. that was definitely that angriest i have ever been in my life. i ended up paying the rent for the month I wasn’t there. But A still decided to message me on facebook, where I forgot to block her and send me an invoice with a bunch of “damages” to the apartment, demanding that I send her $1700 to get the entire floor replaced, new doors, etc. her numbers were ridiculous, it was a bunch of bullshit and I told her that i wasn’t paying it, to never contact me again, and blocked her. her parents pay her rent, it’s not about the money for her it’s about being a vindictive and entitled bully. plus, i really don’t owe her shit at this point. anyways, i have learned a lot of lessons from all this and am working on acknowledging my part in all of these issues and am going to start going to codependents anonymous to start rebuilding my life. obviously i have a lot to learn and work on within myself, and i was not perfect throughout this, even though my only intentions were to be there for my friends and exist in my own house. honestly i never want to see either of these people again! i hate them both so deeply for making my safe space unsafe, and for everything else they’ve done to me, including making my PTSD incredibly worse. and from now on I am going to leave friendships WHEN ITS TIME instead of dragging it out, and hopefully now I can choose better friends and have stronger boundaries, and in the future when tough situations arise i will be more equipped to respond in better ways. hopefully i never have to go through anything like this again!!

In Disney’s Tangled, Rapunzel grapples with the fear of the unknown: what happens after fulfilling a lifelong dream? Flynn wisely counsels her that the beauty of dreams lies in their transformative power — once realized, they often reveal new dreams waiting to be discovered along the way.
This past April, I found myself facing a similar crossroads as I made the difficult decision to leave Krabi, Thailand, after nearly a year of calling it home. My initial dream of making Thailand my second and permanent home, cultivated over five years, had come to fruition. But as I settled into this long-sought paradise, life had other plans in store for me.
Unexpectedly, I found another home — and falling in love with that place and its people — gently and unexpectedly steered me towards a different path. In the spirit of Flynn’s wisdom, I chose to embrace this new dream and follow the love and sense of belonging I had discovered. Just as Rapunzel’s journey unfolded, mine continues to evolve, shaped by the realization that sometimes, dreams are merely guideposts leading us toward the next great adventure.
The primary reason for my departure from Krabi is simple: my heart has found a new home elsewhere, and I felt compelled to go where my heart leads me.
But beyond the pull of the heart, there were other factors at play. While Krabi is undeniably beautiful, and I was fortunate to meet kind and generous people who remain dear friends, no paradise is without its issues. A constellation of problems, ultimately led me to reevaluate my initial dream and seek solace in a new place.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #1: Tourist Culture
The first reason I left Krabi was the tourist culture. I had arrived with the intention of living close to the mountains and sea, eager to immerse myself in Thai language and culture. However, after nine months, I came to a harsh realization — my reasons for being in Krabi were not the same as most tourists.
I discovered that a majority of tourists visited Thailand for hedonistic pursuits: indulging in excessive drinking, smoking marijuana (to which I am allergic), or seeking romantic or sexual encounters with locals or fellow travelers. As someone who doesn’t drink due to health concerns and who feels uncomfortable with unwanted advances, I found that this environment presented more challenges than I had anticipated.
In essence, what I had hoped would be paradise began to reveal its flaws — at least, in terms of compatibility with my personal preferences and values.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #2: Exotic Diseases
The second factor that drove me away from Krabi was the prevalence of exotic diseases and food poisoning. Unfortunately, the area has been affected by global warming, and these issues are worsened during the rainy season and lead to what local physicians call “blood infection” although not sepsis technically-speaking. Additionally, the release of untreated wastewater from resorts into the ocean has led to serious health concerns, including sepsis.
Over the span of just seven months, I suffered from two significant cases of “blood infection,” an upper respiratory infection, and two severe cases of food poisoning, necessitating four rounds of antibiotics. For context, I typically enjoy good health and rarely need antibiotics — perhaps once every two to three years at most.
Furthermore, I started experiencing sciatica-related issues during my stay in Krabi. Seeking adequate treatment for this condition proved challenging, as I had to make a 12-hour bus journey all the way to Bangkok to find a specialist for treatment.
Considering my mobility challenges, the prospect of having to travel such a great distance for medical care became an additional significant concern. With mounting health problems and limited local options, this factor also played a substantial role in my decision to relocate from Krabi.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #3: Thai School Issues
The third factor contributing to my decision to leave Krabi was related to my experience with the Thai school I enrolled in for a year. Unfortunately, I found that the teachers struggled with their English proficiency, making communication and comprehension difficult. Moreover, the curriculum lacked structure, with lessons often skipped or presented in a haphazard order.
Despite lessons supposedly being recorded for student accessibility, this was rarely the case, and classes were frequently rescheduled/canceled with minimal notice. The overall learning environment was far from ideal, and I came to realize that I was learning more effectively through independent study with language-learning apps like Mondly, rather than the costly classes I was attending.
Reason for Leaving Paradise #4: Outages
The fourth reason that pushed me to leave Krabi was the frequent power outages in the area. Power cuts were not uncommon, often lasting for hours at a time, and downed power lines were also a recurring issue. For someone who relies on consistent internet connectivity and air conditioning, particularly in a region where temperatures can soar up to 38–40°C, these disruptions were not just inconvenient but posed genuine problems.
Ultimately, the combination of unreliable infrastructure and extreme weather conditions made it increasingly challenging to maintain a comfortable and productive living situation in Krabi.
In the end, everyone has their reasons for departing from paradise — whether they’re forced out or make the choice to leave. My reasons for leaving Krabi were multifaceted, but this doesn’t mean I have abandoned the pursuit of paradise. Instead, my experience in Krabi has taught me that my idea of paradise is not what I originally envisioned.
As I move forward, I continue to chase after the concept of home and paradise with the same heart and soul, determined to find it in a different location. I believe that with an open mind and a willingness to adapt, the true paradise — a place where I feel at home and at peace.

Expatlife #Thailand #Krabi

A bit of background… I am a science teacher and also a wheelchair user. The school I work at doesn’t have smart boards and I cannot reach the whiteboard from my chair. I’m looking for a laptop that will be able to connect to my project (hdmi but adapter is fine) and also be good for working on lesson plans and finishing my masters. I have an iPad and just don’t like the handwriting on it, plus really despise how you charge the pen. What if any surface would be best?

Reposted from the other sub:
--- ⤪♙ ℂ𝕆ℕ𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋 ♙⤨ ---
I recently started getting into sleep methods. My method that I settled on in short involves relaxing, assuming I've shifted beyond my closed eyes, letting that feeling sink in for a bit, and then starting to plan my day tomorrow in the DR.
I found that this method is very promising. The hasty switch into planning overcomes a lot of the difficulties I had with LOAssumption. I have not yet perfected it, but in the few tries I gave it, I've already felt the following benefits: - More effortlessly staying in the LOAss state, less distractible - Finally having dreams about the DR, which I never have, even once, in months of doing awake methods and obsessing - Not only do I have dreams of it, but the dreams themselves are from the perspective of my DR self. Sleeping feels different as a whole, and upon waking up I'm still steadfast in my assumption and find myself even confused I'm waking up in the CR.
--- ∿✎𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕆ℝ𝕐 ---
It seems that the crucial element behind why these attempts seemed so promising was the planning.
I've noticed that there is quite a big distinction between planning and daydreaming. Although they look similar, the sensations are noticeably different if you pay attention. They are different types of thought.
You could make the argument that planning is simply daydreaming, with the addition of LOAss applied to it. Although I don't think it's that simple.
My suspicions were confirmed after skimming through some studies I could find on the topic. Daydreaming and planning light up different areas of the brain, in a different pattern. Planning seems to be more of an executive function, even lighting up parts of the premotor cortex, but more on that later.
So I theorize, that since the act of planning is so fundamental to our survival as a species, and is correlated with more brain activation, compared to imagining or daydreaming: if we engage in planning, that could potentially be overriding tasks of lesser importance. Meaning that planning could be a streamlined technique in fulfilling/bypassing the obstacles for applying LOAss.
--- ⁑☯ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℙℝ𝕆𝔹𝕃𝔼𝕄 ☯⁑ ---
I was suggesting this technique to someone, when they asked me how to make sure they're planning and not daydreaming. Then I realised I don't have an answer, I'm stumped.
I subconsciously know the answer, I can feel the difference when I'm doing it. But I have no idea what the difference comes from. I've thought about it for a bit and come up with some inklings, but not a straight-forward answer to the question. And I really believe there is a good lesson in LOA that all of this boils down to, but it would require more than a day or two of thinking. So:
--- ⋋⍨? 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℚ𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ ¿⍨⋌ ---
What is the difference between daydreaming and planning? How do you tell which of the two you're doing, what are some telltale signs? What can you do to plan, instead of daydream?
Anyone more experienced with LOAss, or just anyone that enjoys self-reflection and thinking - please share your thoughts on this. I would love to hear them.
╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮- 𝕄𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝕆𝕌𝔾ℍ𝕋𝕊 -╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮
Since I'm the one asking, I'll go ahead and start the discussion to give you something to chew on. (For once this ADHD with its maladaptive daydreaming and overplanning gives me something productive, yay!)
I'll start with daydreaming, what is it? My best description of it is an imagined simulation of a possibility. Unlike planning, there is no drive behind this imagination, the daydreamer is more inclined to just immerse themself in this thought. There is no real expectation that this experience is close to happening, and indeed it almost never does. The ego is very involved in deciding the simulation rules, the classic example is daydreaming about winning an argument lol. The details that are more vivid in the imagination tend to be ones for which there is more desire or lack of for the ego. It's fundamentally a distraction and hinders LOA, as the daydreamer is already satisfied with their current situation and has no need to experience it outside of the simulation at the time.
On the other hand, planning is a simulation of imminent decision-making. It's more of an executive simulation, of a certainty and navigation through it. LOA is naturally fulfilled as the planner truly expects this situation is coming. As I hinted to earlier, interestingly the premotor cortex is very stimulated during planning. The premotor cortex is a part of the brain that primes the spinal brain to receive instructions for direct movement. Which could explain another quirk of planning - the planner can often experience restlessness. Like when you have a big trip tomorrow and can't stop turning in bed, double-checking everything in your mind, until there's only 2 hours of sleep left lol. Anxiety is also not uncommon, as the details of the simulation are less ego-driven and more humbled and concrete.
--- ☽ꉕ⊰ ℂ𝕆ℕℂ𝕃𝕌𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ ⊱ꉕ☾ ---
That's the end of what I'll rant on for now. I d̶a̶y̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ plan to maybe eventually make another post on this topic with a prototype of a method involving planning as the key element. But that will be after I get some more results for myself and get a clearer picture of these concepts in my head. So thank you in advance, to everyone that chimes into the discussion. And if you're just reading and made it this far - well, I hope you got something out of this. Good luck all, don't limit yourselves! 🍀
(Sidenote: petition to start saying LOAss and LOAt so we can understand which the abbreviation refers to. You can't refuse LOAss, cmon 😆)

I beat honour mode today, picking up the Foehammer and Critical Hit achievements. This was my first attempt, and I sailed through so many fights that parts of the game were borderline too easy. I used basically no cheese, including no vendor pickpocketing, no potion/scroll farming, no camp buffing, and no barrelmancy.
How is this possible?
I used the wisdom of those who came before me. Chiefly, the amazing builds put together by Prestigious_Juice - https://www.reddit.com/usePrestigious_Juice341/
And a fantastic full-game walk-through by Sherlaine- - https://www.reddit.com/useSherlaine-/ Guide link - https://www.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/18of2fz/bg3_honor_mode_indepth_guide_for_act_i/
I owe both of these fine folks my utmost thanks and gratitude. Your work is amazing and appreciated! Thank you for being such great contributors to this community.
My party breakdown was:
Tav - Tiefling 6 Paladin (Vengeance) / 6 Sorceror (Draconic) Astarion - 12 Sorcerer (Draconic) Karlach - 12 Cleric (Life) Gale - 12 Wizard (Abjuration)
I used a modified version of the 11/1 Fire Sorlock (dropped the warlock level), and the 12 Pure Life Cleric builds for Astarion and Karlach (especially the gear setups), both by Prestigious_Juice.
https://www.reddit.com/BG3Builds/comments/196mpii/honor_mode_111_fire_sorlock_complete_build_guide/
https://www.reddit.com/BG3Builds/comments/16zcn98/the_dedicated_support_pure_life_cleric_complete/
For my Tav, I used the information in this post to help me determine a good split and which class to multiclass into (special thanks to Sandraptor!):
https://www.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/16jues7/multiclass_guide_to_paladins_the_sorcadin_and/
I didn’t use a guide for Gale. Abjuration wizards are pretty easy to pull off if you just use them for buffs/support/extra damage. I had him cast any buff spells he could and pumped his AC (like everyone in my party), and he almost never took damage.
*****The hardest part of honoutactician is by far Act 1, especially early Act 1!*****
Almost all my near wipes were in Act 1 (damn you, Ansur! *shakes fist*). If you can get to level 7, you can beat the game. It takes focus and persistence - you need to be doing things the safe way ALL THE TIME, but it can be done.
Sherlaine-’s Guide (sounds like a 5e expansion btw) gives you most of the details of what “safe” means, so I’ll forgo reciting it all again, but some key takeaways are:

1. Never fight things until you are a level or two above the “intended encounter lever”. Search for guides on how to reach 4th/5th level without fighting if you struggle with this in the beginning.
2. Attack from stealth whenever possible. Shovel helps with this a lot! Use her invisibility.
3. Always have an escape plan. Gale was mine - I made sure he always had Misty Step and Diminutional Door spells/scrolls and gave him the best movement-enhancing items.
4. Good gear synergy can make or break a build. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts—keep this in mind when evaluating builds and gear. Prestigious_Juice’s builds provide excellent examples of this.

My overall party strategy was simply: Tav and Astarion killed things while Gale and Karlach kept us alive. Sometimes, Gale would even get to kill a thing or two - like when Ringo wrote a song on an album. Tav would smite the shit out of anything that moved and was close, and Astarion killed everything else with Scorching Ray/Fire Ball. See the Sorlock build guide for more details.
Some quick exploits of my party:
• We killed The Inquisitor Ch'r'ai W'wargaz in one round - nearly one turn. Hasted Tav smite smite smite, Hasted Astarion Sorching Ray, dead. Cleaned up his minions before most got a turn (we attacked from stealth). Combat lasted less than two full rounds.
• We defeated Myrkul in two rounds. We had not faced a serious threat since Act 1, but I was worried about this fight. So many people say it's the hardest fight in the game, and it can be if you are not diligent and farm XP like you should. We were level 9 when we faced him and that made it honestly kind of easy. You can use dialog to bypass his first form, and we downed the Apostle of Myrkul in round 2. Even got the No Free Lunches achievement.
• Astarion (basically) soloed the Steel Titan and most minions. Karlach Phalar Aluve: Shriek, Astarion Scorching Ray x3 (Action+Hasted+Quickened), dead. Got the Watchers on the next round.
• Tav killed Viconia Devir before she got a turn.
• Astarion downed Cazador in round one. Cazador cast a spell on Astarion (not sure which one) and he countered it, Astarion Scorching Ray x3, k-mart dracula is mist in his coffin. Minions down by round 3.
• We slew Orin in round 1. Fells ironic to kill the murder gods chosen so quickly.
IMHO, the hardest fights are as follows:
No. 3 - The Final Fight (for this build, anyway). The mind flayers kept using Black Hole, which seems to auto-counter Hasted/Speed Potions, a strategy I leaned into *hard* for this party. I nearly did not make it through the portal with everyone! Once we got to the brain, though, we downed it in round 2.
No. 2 - House of Hope. Try to get Raphael prone! I had Gale casting Ice Storm and/or Freezing Sphere every round. My Tav was wearing Disintegrating Night Walkers at the time, and it worked like a charm, which was good because I fucked up and lost my Haste on round 1, so Tav and Astarion were out till round 2.
No. 1 - Ansur. I got cocky. We’d killed Cazador without breaking a sweat. We got this. I even dropped Gale for Wyll so I could hear his dialog. I did not do this quest on my first and only run before this, and I did not read ahead about the fight. Yes, I was dumb as shit. It’s only thanks to the Periapt of Wound Closure on my Tav that we made it out of there. I learned my lesson and was by the book after that, but even if I’d done everything right, I feel this still would have been the hardest fight in the game.
Honorable Mention: Gortash. Astarion had a hell of a time with that reflective shield power he and his minions had.
In conclusion, Honour Mode is hard but far from unbeatable. Make smart, safe choices, and those golden dice are yours. Thank you again to all those referenced above.
Now, what build to play next…
edits for spelling and formatting

--- ⤪♙ ℂ𝕆ℕ𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋 ♙⤨ ---
I recently started getting into sleep methods. My method that I settled on in short involves relaxing, assuming I've shifted beyond my closed eyes, letting that feeling sink in for a bit, and then starting to plan my day tomorrow in the DR.
I found that this method is very promising. The hasty switch into planning overcomes a lot of the difficulties I had with LOAssumption. I have not yet perfected it, but in the few tries I gave it, I've already felt the following benefits: - More effortlessly staying in the LOAss state, less distractible - Finally having dreams about the DR, which I never have, even once, in months of doing awake methods and obsessing - Not only do I have dreams of it, but the dreams themselves are from the perspective of my DR self. Sleeping feels different as a whole, and upon waking up I'm still steadfast in my assumption and find myself even confused I'm waking up in the CR.
--- ∿✎𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕆ℝ𝕐 ---
It seems that the crucial element behind why these attempts seemed so promising was the planning.
I've noticed that there is quite a big distinction between planning and daydreaming. Although they look similar, the sensations are noticeably different if you pay attention. They are different types of thought.
You could make the argument that planning is simply daydreaming, with the addition of LOAss applied to it. Although I don't think it's that simple.
My suspicions were confirmed after skimming through some studies I could find on the topic. Daydreaming and planning light up different areas of the brain, in a different pattern. Planning seems to be more of an executive function, even lighting up parts of the premotor cortex, but more on that later.
So I theorize, that since the act of planning is so fundamental to our survival as a species, and is correlated with more brain activation, compared to imagining or daydreaming: if we engage in planning, that could potentially be overriding tasks of lesser importance. Meaning that planning could be a streamlined technique in fulfilling/bypassing the obstacles for applying LOAss.
--- ⁑☯ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℙℝ𝕆𝔹𝕃𝔼𝕄 ☯⁑ ---
I was suggesting this technique to someone, when they asked me how to make sure they're planning and not daydreaming. Then I realised I don't have an answer, I'm stumped.
I subconsciously know the answer, I can feel the difference when I'm doing it. But I have no idea what the difference comes from. I've thought about it for a bit and come up with some inklings, but not a straight-forward answer to the question. And I really believe there is a good lesson in LOA that all of this boils down to, but it would require more than a day or two of thinking. So:
--- ⋋⍨? 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℚ𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ ¿⍨⋌ ---
What is the difference between daydreaming and planning? How do you tell which of the two you're doing, what are some telltale signs? What can you do to plan, instead of daydream?
Anyone more experienced with LOAss, or just anyone that enjoys self-reflection and thinking - please share your thoughts on this. I would love to hear them.
╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮- 𝕄𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝕆𝕌𝔾ℍ𝕋𝕊 -╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮
Since I'm the one asking, I'll go ahead and start the discussion to give you something to chew on. (For once this ADHD with its maladaptive daydreaming and overplanning gives me something productive, yay!)
I'll start with daydreaming, what is it? My best description of it is an imagined simulation of a possibility. Unlike planning, there is no drive behind this imagination, the daydreamer is more inclined to just immerse themself in this thought. There is no real expectation that this experience is close to happening, and indeed it almost never does. The ego is very involved in deciding the simulation rules, the classic example is daydreaming about winning an argument lol. The details that are more vivid in the imagination tend to be ones for which there is more desire or lack of for the ego. It's fundamentally a distraction and hinders LOA, as the daydreamer is already satisfied with their current situation and has no need to experience it outside of the simulation at the time.
On the other hand, planning is a simulation of imminent decision-making. It's more of an executive simulation, of a certainty and navigation through it. LOA is naturally fulfilled as the planner truly expects this situation is coming. As I hinted to earlier, interestingly the premotor cortex is very stimulated during planning. The premotor cortex is a part of the brain that primes the spinal brain to receive instructions for direct movement. Which could explain another quirk of planning - the planner can often experience restlessness. Like when you have a big trip tomorrow and can't stop turning in bed, double-checking everything in your mind, until there's only 2 hours of sleep left lol. Anxiety is also not uncommon, as the details of the simulation are less ego-driven and more humbled and concrete.
--- ☽ꉕ⊰ ℂ𝕆ℕℂ𝕃𝕌𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ ⊱ꉕ☾ ---
That's the end of what I'll rant on for now. I d̶a̶y̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ plan to maybe eventually make another post on this topic with a prototype of a method involving planning as the key element. But that will be after I get some more results for myself and get a clearer picture of these concepts in my head. So thank you in advance, to everyone that chimes into the discussion. And if you're just reading and made it this far - well, I hope you got something out of this. Good luck all, don't limit yourselves! 🍀
(Sidenote: petition to start saying LOAss and LOAt so we can understand which the abbreviation refers to. You can't refuse LOAss, cmon 😆)

I beat honour mode today, picking up the Foehammer and Critical Hit achievements. This was my first attempt, and I sailed through so many fights that parts of the game were borderline too easy. I used basically no cheese, including no vendor pickpocketing, no potion/scroll farming, no camp buffing, and no barrelmancy.
How is this possible?
I used the wisdom of those who came before me. Chiefly, the amazing builds put together by Prestigious_Juice - https://www.reddit.com/usePrestigious_Juice341/
And a fantastic full-game walk-through by Sherlaine- - https://www.reddit.com/useSherlaine-/ Guide link - https://www.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/18of2fz/bg3_honor_mode_indepth_guide_for_act_i/
I owe both of these fine folks my utmost thanks and gratitude. Your work is amazing and appreciated! Thank you for being such great contributors to this community.
My party breakdown was:
Tav - Tiefling 6 Paladin (Vengeance) / 6 Sorceror (Draconic) Astarion - 12 Sorcerer (Draconic) Karlach - 12 Cleric (Life) Gale - 12 Wizard (Abjuration)
I used a modified version of the 11/1 Fire Sorlock (dropped the warlock level), and the 12 Pure Life Cleric builds for Astarion and Karlach (especially the gear setups), both by Prestigious_Juice.
https://www.reddit.com/BG3Builds/comments/196mpii/honor_mode_111_fire_sorlock_complete_build_guide/
https://www.reddit.com/BG3Builds/comments/16zcn98/the_dedicated_support_pure_life_cleric_complete/
For my Tav, I used the information in this post to help me determine a good split and which class to multiclass into (special thanks to Sandraptor!):
https://www.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/16jues7/multiclass_guide_to_paladins_the_sorcadin_and/
I didn’t use a guide for Gale. Abjuration wizards are pretty easy to pull off if you just use them for buffs/support/extra damage. I had him cast any buff spells he could and pumped his AC (like everyone in my party), and he almost never took damage.
*****The hardest part of honoutactician is by far Act 1, especially early Act 1!*****
Almost all my near wipes were in Act 1 (damn you, Ansur! *shakes fist*). If you can get to level 7, you can beat the game. It takes focus and persistence - you need to be doing things the safe way ALL THE TIME, but it can be done.
Sherlaine-’s Guide (sounds like a 5e expansion btw) gives you most of the details of what “safe” means, so I’ll forgo reciting it all again, but some key takeaways are:

1. Never fight things until you are a level or two above the “intended encounter lever”. Search for guides on how to reach 4th/5th level without fighting if you struggle with this in the beginning.
2. Attack from stealth whenever possible. Shovel helps with this a lot! Use her invisibility.
3. Always have an escape plan. Gale was mine - I made sure he always had Misty Step and Diminutional Door spells/scrolls and gave him the best movement-enhancing items.
4. Good gear synergy can make or break a build. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts—keep this in mind when evaluating builds and gear. Prestigious_Juice’s builds provide excellent examples of this.

My overall party strategy was simply: Tav and Astarion killed things while Gale and Karlach kept us alive. Sometimes, Gale would even get to kill a thing or two - like when Ringo wrote a song or two on an album. Tav would smike the shit out of anything that was close and moved, and Astarion killed everything else with Scorching Ray/Fire Ball. See the Sorlock build guide for more details.
Some quick exploits of my party:
• We killed The Inquisitor Ch'r'ai W'wargaz in one round - nearly one turn. Hasted Tav smite smite smite, Hasted Astarion Sourching Ray, dead. Cleaned up his minions before most got a turn (we attacked from stealth). Combat lasted less than two full rounds.
• We defeated Myrkle in two rounds. We had not faced a serious threat since Act 1, but I was worried about this fight. So many people say it's the hardest fight in the game, and it can be if you are not diligent and farm XP like you should. We were level 9 when we faced him and that made it honestly kind of easy. You can use dialog to bypass his first form, and we downed the Apostle of Myrkul in round 2. Even got the No Free Lunches achievement.
• Astarion (basically) soloed the Steel Titan and most minions. Karlach Phalar Aluve: Shriek, Astarion Scorching Ray x3 (Action+Hasted+Quickened), dead. Got the Watchers on the next round.
• Tav killed Viconia Devir before she got a turn.
• Astarion downed Cazador in round one. Cazador cast a spell on Astarion (not sure which one) and he countered it, Astarion Scorching Ray x3, k-mart dracula is mist in his coffin. Minions down by round 3.
• We slew Orin in round 1. Fells ironic to kill the murder gods chosen so quickly.
IMHO, the hardest fights are as follows:
No. 3 - The Final Fight (for this build, anyway). The mind flayers kept using Black Hole, which seems to auto-counter Hasted/Speed Potions, a strategy I leaned into *hard* for this party. I nearly did not make it through the portal with everyone! Once we got to the brain, though, we downed it in round 2.
No. 2 - House of Hope. Try to get Raphael prone! I had Gale casting Ice Storm and/or Freezing Sphere every round. My Tav was wearing Disintegrating Night Walkers at the time, and it worked like a charm, which was good because I fucked up and lost my Haste on round 1, so Tav and Astarion were out till round 2.
No. 1 - Ansur. I got cocky. We’d killed Cazador without breaking a sweat. We got this. I even dropped Gale for Wyll so I could hear his dialog. I did not do this quest on my first and only run before this, and I did not read ahead about the fight. Yes, I was dumb as shit. It’s only thanks to the Periapt of Wound Closure on my Tav that we made it out of there. I learned my lesson and was by the book after that, but even if I’d done everything right, I feel this still would have been the hardest fight in the game.
Honorable Mention: Gortash. Astarion had a hell of a time with that reflective shield power he and his minions had.
In conclusion, Honour Mode is hard but far from unbeatable. Make smart, safe choices, and those golden dice are yours. Thank you again to all those referenced above.
Now, what build to play next…
edits for spelling and formatting

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.