My boyfriend 25M of 3 years passed away 10days ago. Our relationship was something different, we fell in love so fast and we were inseparable, we understood each other without speaking, he always told me i would become his wife soon. One evening he had a seizure at home and that’s when the hospital discovered a giant ruptured aneurysm. He fought for his life for a month in the hospital, he made so many improvements then one day the nurses didn’t even notice him passing away until we arrived to the hospital during visiting hours.. I can’t begin to describe how empty I feel, I would give anything to be with him again. I’m constantly having thoughts about ending myself with no intent to follow through because I know I would just hurt my family and friends the way I’m hurting right now.. The sadness is overwhelming it comes in waves that swallows me. I don’t know what to do with myself or my life all I do is lay in bed and cry, force myself to eat or exercise but nothing helps. All I want is to be with him again, to speak to him, to feel his touch.. nothing brings me joy. how can I cope with this? Will I ever be able to live like a normal person again?
I’ve always been depressed/ anxious and he was the one that pulled me out of my mental health struggles, it’s so hard to accept that he’s not here anymore. He was my positivity and motivation in this life. I’m still getting psychiatric and psychological help but the meds don’t fill the hole he left in my heart, everything happened so suddenly..
It feels so strange because I feel single but my heart is taken and I know he wanted to be with me it’s not like a breakup, he just got ripped away from life with no warning.. will I ever recover?
How can I keep living without my bestfriend? Any advice would help really..

New boss looks exactly like my ex from 3 years ago
I’ve been good. I broke up with my first love and my first ex, three years ago. We didn’t really date as It was kind of a FWB thing and my feelings weren’t reciprocated. He strung me along until I was able to end things with him and go no contact. This was after I’d been treated like shit, made to feel weak and made to feel very depressed. Two weeks ago, a new senior manager was hired in my company and this man looks exactly like my ex. For a moment I thought it was as him and my heart skipped a bit. I’ve been good for 3 years, dated a bit but it didn’t work out. All of a sudden there’s a flooding of the good memories and I’m beginning to think of him a lot. Everytime I look at this new colleague I think of him, I can’t help it and it looks like the sadness is beginning to come back. He’s probably dating again and I have no desire to contact him but I do miss him and I’ve been thinking of him and most importantly I’ve been thinking of the maybes and what could be. I need help, I can’t go back to that sad person…

For context, my boyfriend (M19) and I (F19) have been together for 2.5 years now, and met when we were 15/16. We have been with each other during some of the most awkward and vulnerable years of our lives and have really grown together. We are also each other’s first everything and have had a really healthy relationship so far.
The other night however, we had a disagreement which ended up leading to a different topic. I had said I wasn’t feeling loved by him and he told me that he absolutely loves me but for the past few months, every so often he’s been feeling almost “apathetic” about the relationship. He came to my house because we agreed to talk about it and absolutely swears it’s no fault of my own, that he knows in his heart that I’m his person and that he loves me, but he’s finding it difficult to “fully” love me - as in he knows he wants to be able to express that love but he just doesn’t feel as excited about it as he used to.
It’s very difficult for me to type and I think it was very difficult for him to explain too. I’m not sure whether it’s after 2 years that the honeymoon phase has ended for him, whether he’s depressed (he says he isn’t) or whether it’s that the comfortability of the relationship makes him feel as if he doesn’t need to “try” as hard. I’ve ruled out trauma related issues as he’s always said he has had a pretty good life and pretty good relationships with both his family and the people around him. We spoke about it all and he told me he doesn’t know why he feels this way and that he hates it.
As it’s affecting both of us, we agreed on a 3 week break (still together, no contact) to see if anything changes for him, but I’m really scared it won’t, and he told me he’s scared that in that time my feelings will change for him.
I’m genuinely just really confused and I know he is too. I do feel like he loves me but I also have definitely noticed the shift in his moods and behaviour, hence why it was brought up in the first place. I’d also like to clarify that I 100% know it wouldn’t be anything to do with cheating on me.
If anyone could help me to understand or just give me a new perspective that would be appreciated immensely, thank you 😊

My boyfriend 26M and I 23F have been together for an 1 1/2 year and while nothing huge happened tiny things have managed to build themselves up. Initially I thought everything was good ,ofc we needed to have talks here and there to understand each other better but nothing big. What started very nice and intense became rather cold and passive from his side. I asked multiple times if everything was ok and I pointed out his odd behaviour but on the contrary the more I pointed out how distant he was getting the more he became distant (even tho when we talk about it he would say he will try to understand his behaviour). After all this time I started thinking that he might have an avoidant attachment style that he might not even be aware of and after suggesting that to him and countless tests that was the case. Five years ago he was engaged and his ex-fiancee ended up cheating on him and getting pregnant and married to another man while they were long distance, I can’t even imagine the pain so I always gave him his space and time but on the contrary the comfort I gave him made him more stuck and reassured in his coping mechanisms. I don’t feel like I’m thought in his head most of the times, I’m the one that gets exited to go out to try things, that wants to go on dates and the last time he planned something might have been more then a year ago (except for birthdays). He doesn’t take much interest in knowing my friends, till now he hasn’t even met one tho I invited him out multiple times. What might be the silliest example is how all this time I made it clear I liked flowers and he never gave me any, he thinks they are pointless , I confronted him about some weeks ago and he said he didn’t think it was THAT important to me yet three weeks went by and still no flowers. I in fact don’t care about the flowers that much but his inability to do something just because I like it and his lack of will to just make me happy is concerning. If you asked him he’d tell you he loves me more than anything, more than I even love him but where is the love? Throughout the countless loves I received in my life by friends and family love never felt this passive and empty. Could you call someone like this as someone in love?
TLDR: In a relationship with someone passive and don’t know how to go about it

I (F29) feel like I’m checking out of my relationship with bf (M27). What do I do?
Using a throwaway.
For some background, we’ve been together for 7 years and have lived together since the start of the relationship pretty much.
About 2 1/2 years ago, his mental health tanked and he had been seeing a therapist to help that, and started using medication to help his anxiety. Our sex life has always been good, but we hadn’t been active in a while and it took about 6 months for us to start having sex again. During his mental health tank, he told me that due to not having sex in a while, he sought it out through paid services online. We discussed and worked through this back then but it still creeps in my mind every so often.
In addition to this, there have been times throughout the relationship where I’m always there for him if he has a mental breakdown, but when it’s my turn to need someone for support, he can’t handle it and I have to process things alone. I’ve started my own therapy for this to help work through my issues with a professional. It would just be nice if I had the same support from him that he has from me.
One other big thing, which is largely my fault, is that lately I don’t feel like I’m a partner, and I feel like I’m in more of a mother role. We have a roommate that I also feel the same with, and even my family will make jokes and ask how the “kids” are. I say this is largely my fault because my therapist even suggested that my being independent for basically my entire life, especially since I left home at 18, has made me want to be in charge of everything and I have a hard time giving other people the reigns. So, for example, instead of helping when my bf will ask for help, I’ll just take over and do it myself. I’ve also been working on this myself. We got comfortable and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
We had an extensive conversation where I told him I needed him to go back to therapy, as it’s been over a year, and that I needed him to make sure he sticks to his new second job that took over 6 months for him to get (I make the most in our household and had to get a second job to start paying down my debt and be comfortable financially again). Since then, I’ve seen some great improvements, but this isn’t the first time we’ve had a conversation like this. Usually things will get better for a few months but then go right back to where they were.
Because of the above, I’ve asked him if there’s any chance that we can open the relationship, as I’ve been feeling neglected lately. This is a first for me as well and I know this is largely frowned upon. Before anyone asks, no I am not using this as an excuse to cheat on him with someone in mind already. There is no one else and the whole point of ENM is being ethical and I stand by that. He’s open to learning more about it and we’ve been doing research together. But we both realize that this may very well be something he’ll never actually be okay with.
During our conversation, we both mentioned that we need to be realistic in case this all doesn’t work out and have an “exit plan” since we can’t live together if we separate. On my lunch break one day, I started to have a panic attack thinking about the possibility of breaking up and not knowing where I’d go. I ended up looking at places to buy and found 2 that I’m absolutely in love with. Due to my job, I can’t move out of state and work remote like I’d prefer to, so I’m resigned to buying something here since I can’t afford to rent a place in our area on my own. Finding roommates is out of the question as all our friends are in relationships or have pets. I have a dog that’s dog aggressive so I can’t do that to him or someone else. Once I realized that I might actually be okay, I’ve been getting more excited about the possibility of buying. And it makes me feel horrible. I do want to make this relationship work but I’m finding myself checking out a little bit. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow where I’ll be mentioning this.
A few things have happened since we had our conversation as well that have thrown me off a bit. I found out a week after I told him how I was feeling (I wrote him a letter to make sure I got it all out there clearly) that he immediately went to his mom and cried to her about everything (minus opening up). I wouldn’t have an issue with this if he had just told me when he did it, not a week later. It made me feel like he was trying to get ahead of everything and spin a narrative even though he swears he didn’t. Another instance is that I was working, and I close for almost all of my shifts. My schedule is on our fridge calendar. He messaged me an hour before closing asking if we had started, I said yes and left it alone since I was trying to get a head start. An hour later when the store actually closed, he texted me again asked how much longer I’d be, then showed me a screenshot of our hours saying 9-9 instead of 9-10. We share our locations so he knew I was still at work anyways but it felt weird like he was tracking me. 2 days later, I was working until 10 and stayed a few minutes late to help cover a break and then wanted to buy something. At 10:15 he texted to ask how much longer I was going to be. He’s never done this before so it’s been making me a bit uncomfortable.
I’ve spoken to my friends and some family and everyone has told me that it’s finally time I put my happiness first for once. Of the handful of people I’ve spoken with, almost everyone has told me that they’ve definitely noticed that I’m not as happy as I used to be anymore. I’ve struggled a lot with general depression in the past, and I tried so hard not to slip back into it, but between his mental health being so poor, our roommate also going through his own stuff, and all of this, I’ve definitely slipped back into it and I don’t like who I am or how I feel when I get this way.
I plan to discuss all of this more in depth again with my therapist tomorrow but I wanted to get some outside opinions as well. I know this is a lot so if there’s anything that needs clarifying I’ll be happy to answer questions.
TLDR: bf hasn’t really been there for me mentally or emotionally the last few years and I’m at my breaking point. The possibility of starting my own life again makes me more excited and I feel like I’m checking out of my relationship. We are both in therapy and still trying to work through everything but I need an outside perspective on all of this.

Whether you’re in the mood for a gripping drama, an exhilarating action film, or a heart warming musical, HBO Max offers a diverse selection of movies to fit your next streaming session.
Known for its original series like The Sopranos and The Wire, the platform has expanded its offerings to include feature-length films that often find their way to award nominations and critical acclaim.
From iconic Westerns to the latest Oscar nominees, Max has a movie for every taste. You’ll find everything from spine-chilling horror to laugh-out-loud comedies and captivating fantasy films. Be sure to explore the extensive library, as some titles might not stay available for long.

1. Stop Making Sense

Stop Making Sense is a groundbreaking concert film directed by Jonathan Demme, capturing the innovative live performances of Talking Heads.
Filmed at the iconic Pantages Theatre in Los Angeles, this 1984 rockumentary was created over four shows with a modest budget raised by the band themselves.
The film is famed for its minimalist filming style and memorable moments, such as David Byrne’s oversized suit. This approach allows the band’s artistic flair to truly shine, creating an experience that transcends traditional concert films and resonates as a unique piece of performance art. You can explore more about this concert film's 40th anniversary on HBO Max.

2. Mad Max

Mad Max, the film that launched a genre-defining franchise, initially seemed like a standalone project.
Directed by George Miller and starring Mel Gibson as Max Rockatansky, the narrative explores a law enforcer seeking vengeance against a notorious biker gang. Max’s tragic loss of his family sets the stage for his transformation into a relentless avenger in a lawless, post-apocalyptic world.
The series has expanded remarkably since its inception 45 years ago. Besides the original Mad Max, you can binge-watch the sequels on Max: 1981’s The Road Warrior, 1985’s Beyond Thunderdome, and 2015’s Fury Road.
An exciting development for fans is the upcoming release of Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, featuring Anya Taylor-Joy as Imperator Furiosa. This highly anticipated addition to the series premieres later this month, continuing the legacy of intense action and sociopolitical commentary that Mad Max pioneered.

3. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

The Killing of a Sacred Deer by director Yorgos Lanthimos, known for works like Poor Things, combines dark humor with unsettling drama.
You will follow the life of Steven Murphy, played by Colin Farrell, a respected surgeon. His seemingly perfect life, complete with a loving wife (Nicole Kidman) and children, begins to unravel after he meets Martin, portrayed by Barry Keoghan.
Martin is an awkward teenager dealing with the loss of his father, and what starts as a compassionate gesture by Murphy quickly turns into a nightmarish scenario reminiscent of Sophie’s Choice. Lanthimos' unique style masterfully blends comedy with deep emotional moments, making this film an evocative experience.

4. The Zone of Interest

In 1943, Rudolf Höss (Christian Friedel), the commandant of Auschwitz, oversaw the horrific workings of the concentration camp. When he returned home, he entered the so-called Zone of Interest, a place eerily close to the camp.
Here, Höss resided with his wife Hedwig (Sandra Hüller) and their five children.
Daily life for the Höss family involved an attempt to build an idyllic existence within their household.
Background noise, such as the sounds of gunshots, arriving trains, and burning furnaces, was a constant reminder of the realities just beyond their walls. This unsettling juxtaposition captures the chilling essence of Jonathan Glazer’s Oscar-winning film, presenting a stark contrast between domestic normalcy and unimaginable brutality.

5. Black Swan

Natalie Portman delivers a remarkable performance in Black Swan, a dark ballet drama directed by Darren Aronofsky.
Portraying Nina Sayers, a dedicated dancer with the New York City Ballet, Portman's character lives under the shadow of her overbearing mother, played by Barbara Hershey.
Her mother’s own failed ballet career drives her to push Nina towards artistic perfection.
Nina's world dramatically changes when she secures the lead role in a new production of Swan Lake. The twist? She shares the role with Lily, portrayed by Mila Kunis.
Lily, an adventurous and carefree dancer, becomes both a close companion and a fierce competitor. This duality propels Nina into a spiral of obsession and rivalry.
Aronofsky’s directing amplifies Nina's emotional turmoil, making you experience every intense moment.
As Nina's grip on reality weakens, the film skillfully integrates surreal elements with her deepening madness, capturing the viewer’s attention throughout the narrative. Black Swan stands out as a masterpiece in both psychological horror and modern cinema.

6. Good Time

Good Time is regarded as an exceptionally underrated film from the past couple of decades.
Released in 2017, the movie stars Robert Pattinson and is directed by the Safdie Brothers, Benny and Josh.
Pattinson plays Connie Nikas, a small-time criminal always seeking his next big opportunity. His partner in crime is his developmentally disabled brother Nick, portrayed by Benny Safdie.
Their story centers around a bank robbery that goes awry, leading to Nick's arrest.
Connie is then thrust into a relentless struggle to rescue his brother.
The narrative is fast-paced and gripping, reminiscent of the frantic energy found in another Safdie Brothers’ film, Uncut Gems.
As you watch, you will feel the tension and urgency that drive Connie to take drastic measures.
If you're seeking a visceral and thrilling crime drama, Good Time is a compelling choice. Now available on Max, it is an excellent opportunity for both first-time viewers and those wanting to revisit its thrilling sequences.

7. Wonka

Timothée Chalamet plays Willy Wonka in a delightful origin story driven by Roald Dahl’s imaginative chocolatier.
Directed by Paul King, known for Paddington, this film offers a new take on the character. While it doesn't quite capture the magic of Gene Wilder's performance in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, it is certainly an improvement over Tim Burton’s 2005 version.

8. Dream Scenario

Nicolas Cage's portrayal of Paul Matthews in Dream Scenario is a standout example of his versatility.
Cage plays an unremarkable biology professor who becomes an overnight sensation after appearing in the dreams of strangers. This unexpected twist propels him into viral fame, offering a fascinating look at both the allure and pitfalls of sudden celebrity.
Critics have commended Cage's performance, arguing it ranks among his finest.
The role navigates complex themes, combining humor with a deeper exploration of fame's impact.
For those familiar with Cage's work, Dream Scenario is a must-watch, showcasing how he expertly balances various emotional layers to deliver a compelling narrative.

9. The Green Knight

David Lowery, known for movies like Pete’s Dragon and Peter Pan & Wendy, brings a fresh perspective to the Arthurian legend in The Green Knight.
This fantasy-adventure film features Dev Patel as Sir Gawain, the nephew of King Arthur.
Sheltered and privileged, Gawain seeks a way to prove himself. When a chance arises to demonstrate his prowess as a warrior, he eagerly accepts, despite being unprepared for the trials ahead.
The plot explores themes of bravery, honor, and self-discovery as Gawain embarks on a dangerous quest to confront the Green Knight, a mysterious giant who is part human, part tree.

10. Dicks: The Musical

A24, known for films like Moonlight and Ex Machina, brings you an unconventional musical based on the off-Broadway show Fucking Identical Twins.
In this musical, Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp, who both co-wrote and star, play two coworkers who discover they are long-lost twins. They hatch a wild scheme to reunite their parents, portrayed by Nathan Lane and Megan Mullally, in a plot reminiscent of Parent Trap. Megan Thee Stallion takes on the role of their boss.
Filled with bold humor and adult themes, this musical is unapologetically bold. If you’re sensitive to explicit language, you might find this one challenging.

11. Barbie

Directed by Greta Gerwig, Barbie brings a fresh and dynamic approach to the beloved doll's story.
Barbie, portrayed by Margot Robbie, enjoys an idyllic existence in Barbieland until unforeseen glitches in her perfect world prompt a journey to the real world—Los Angeles.
This mission has her investigating the source of her troubles and restoring her fabulous life.
The film has enjoyed immense popularity, grossing nearly $1.5 billion globally, which suggests you've likely watched it already.
Its innovative narrative and remarkable performances make it worth revisiting, particularly given its surprising Oscar snubs. Barbie seamlessly blends humor, adventure, and thoughtful social commentary.

12. Fargo

Fargo showcases Frances McDormand in her first Oscar-winning role as Marge Gunderson, an assertive and very pregnant police chief in Brainerd, Minnesota.
The story unfolds as Marge investigates a baffling crime scene that leads her to Jerry Lundegaard (played by William H. Macy), a desperate car salesman embroiled in a dangerous scheme to secure a large sum of money.
Jerry's plot brings him into contact with two ruthless criminals, portrayed by Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare, who possess little concern for human life.
The film, directed by the Coen brothers, blends dark humor with stark violence, creating moments that are simultaneously horrific and absurdly funny. An unforgettable scene involves a murderer disposing of a body with a wood chipper, turning a gruesome act into a disturbingly comical situation.

13. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

In The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, directed by Sergio Leone, you witness Clint Eastwood as a mysterious figure teaming up with Eli Wallach's Mexican outlaw. Their partnership holds more questions than answers.
The film, enhanced by Ennio Morricone's iconic score, offers clever plot twists and stellar performances. This cinematic gem maintains its status as a timeless classic.

14. Eastern Promises

David Cronenberg's Eastern Promises offers a gripping and intense cinematic experience.
Viggo Mortensen shines as Nikolai, a formidable enforcer for a notorious crime family in London. His life takes a turn when a compassionate midwife, played by Naomi Watts, starts probing into the mysterious death of a woman linked to Nikolai's employers.
This film diverges from Cronenberg’s usual surreal style, opting instead for a more action-packed narrative that keeps you engaged.
The addition of physical confrontations, including Mortensen’s memorable fight scenes, intensifies the story, making it a must-watch thriller.

15. RoboCop

From the mind of director Paul Verhoeven, RoboCop presents a dystopian vision of Detroit plagued by rampant crime.
The story follows officer Alex Murphy, portrayed by Peter Weller, who suffers a brutal attack. After being critically injured, he is transformed into a cybernetic law enforcer.
Although some of the special effects might now seem dated, they were cutting-edge when the film was released in 1987.
If you’re captivated by the original RoboCop, you can continue your journey with its two sequels and the 2014 reboot available on Max.

16. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Among the numerous Star Trek films available on Max, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan stands out as a must-see. This film revitalized the entire franchise and set the stage for Star Trek: The Next Generation.
J.J. Abrams attempted to reboot this classic with Star Trek Into Darkness, but the original remains unmatched for its impact and storytelling. If you haven't watched it yet, it's highly recommended to do so before it leaves the streaming service.

17. Jodorowsky’s Dune

Alejandro Jodorowsky, the Chilean-French filmmaker, embarked on an ambitious project to adapt Frank Herbert’s Dune. He aimed to involve iconic artists such as H. R. Giger for character designs and Pink Floyd for the soundtrack.
Perhaps most audaciously, he envisioned Salvador Dalí taking on a role in the film. His vision extended to a film length of approximately 14 hours.
Although the film never materialized, Frank Pavich's documentary captures this incredible journey. You can explore more about this fascinating endeavor by watching Jodorowsky's Dune.

18. Albert Brooks: Defending My Life

Albert Brooks is often celebrated as a comedian's comedian. Known for directing iconic comedies like Defending Your Life, Lost in America, Real Life, and Mother, Brooks has also made his mark as a brilliant actor, earning an Oscar nomination.
This documentary, directed by his longtime friend Rob Reiner, captures Brooks' unique talent. The film features insights and accolades from notable figures such as David Letterman, Steven Spielberg, Sarah Silverman, Judd Apatow, Chris Rock, Larry David, and Ben Stiller, highlighting Brooks’ profound impact on comedy.

19. Dune

Frank Herbert's Dune has seen several cinematic attempts, but it wasn't until Denis Villeneuve's 2021 adaptation that the story truly captivated audiences, even winning six Oscars.
Set in the distant future, in the year 10191, the narrative revolves around the planet Arrakis, home to the universe’s most precious resource, melange, also known as spice. This unique substance is central to the plot, with its control linked to the fate of the galaxy.
You follow the journey of Paul Atreides, portrayed by Kyle MacLachlan, the young heir of a powerful duke. Paul finds himself thrust into a world of political intrigue and danger as he attempts to protect his family and the spice supply on Arrakis.
Villeneuve's adaptation, with its stunning visuals and faithful representation of Herbert's themes, has gained widespread praise and is available on Max.
David Lynch's earlier version of Dune has resurfaced in popular culture, now appreciated for its surreal and distinctly Lynchian style, even though it was initially met with less enthusiasm. This resurgence has sparked renewed interest in comparing the two adaptations, especially given the different directorial visions and interpretations of the intricate source material.

20. Furious 7

You might think that many of the Fast & Furious films blend together with their similar themes of car chases, fistfights, and street races. Furious 7, though, stands out for a few significant reasons.
This installment is known for the daring scene where the crew drops their cars from a cargo plane. Moreover, this film holds a special place as it features Paul Walker's final performance in the series after his untimely death in 2013. It’s a touching tribute and one of the series' finest moments.

21. Carrie

Carrie, directed by Brian De Palma in 1976, stands as a chilling adaptation of Stephen King's debut novel. Nearly five decades later, this film continues to terrify new generations. The story revolves around Carrie White, portrayed by Sissy Spacek, a reclusive and introverted teen who becomes the target of her high school's social clique.

22. Pulp Fiction

If you’re a movie fan, odds are you've already seen Quentin Tarantino's iconic Pulp Fiction. This film is a favorite for many who enjoy revisiting its complex narrative and unforgettable characters like Jules, Vincent, Honey Bunny, and Marsellus Wallace.
Max offers Pulp Fiction for streaming, one of the few Tarantino movies available on the platform. Whether you're reminiscing about the diner scene or the pawn shop sequence, you'll find the film's intertwining stories and unique dialogue endlessly engaging. Although a full Tarantino marathon might not be possible on Max, the experience of watching Pulp Fiction stands strong on its own.

23. Avatar: The Way of Water

James Cameron's sequel to Avatar takes place 16 years after the original 2009 film. You follow Jake (Sam Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), who are now married and have children.
The sequel, titled Avatar: The Way of Water, doesn’t quite generate the same buzz as its predecessor but still managed to surpass Cameron's own Titanic along with all the Star Wars movies. It has become the third-highest-grossing movie ever, with only Avatar and Avengers: Endgame ahead. For more details, you can check out Avatar: The Way of Water on HBO.

24. Reality

In 2017, an intelligence report on Russian interference in the 2016 US presidential election was leaked. The following year, Reality Winner, a former NSA translator, faced charges for this act and received a prison sentence exceeding five years—unprecedented for a government whistleblower.
Sydney Sweeney, known for her roles in Euphoria and The White Lotus, delivers a compelling performance in this factual narrative. The film unfolds in real-time as the FBI arrives at Winner's door and conducts over an hour-long interrogation, capturing the tension and stakes of the situation.

25. Parasite

Parasite, a remarkable film by Bong Joon-ho, is unique for being the only non-English-language movie to win the Best Picture Oscar, highlighting its wide-ranging themes.
Following the Kim family, who are struggling financially, the plot uncovers their elaborate plan to infiltrate the wealthy Park family. The Parks, despite their wealth, face their own set of challenges.
The movie is skillfully layered with themes of class struggle and social commentary. The story is unpredictable, with unexpected shifts in its narrative. Bong Joon-ho masterfully guides you through twists that keep you on the edge of your seat. His ability to surprise and engage audiences is unparalleled, making Parasite a must-watch film that leaves a lasting impression.

26. All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed presents a compelling view of Nan Goldin, capturing her dual identity as both artist and activist.
Goldin's photography vividly chronicles significant crises in America, such as the HIV/AIDS and opioid epidemics. Despite her acclaim, she faces a profound dilemma: should she permit her work to be displayed in museums funded by the Sackler family, whose pharmaceutical practices are widely criticized for contributing to the opioid crisis?
This film portrays an artist deeply committed to her principles, showing her readiness to jeopardize professional opportunities to stand firm in her beliefs. Through this lens, you gain an intimate look at the ethical conflicts that define Goldin's career.

27. The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight, directed by Christopher Nolan, stands out prominently in the Batman trilogy. If you’re planning a movie marathon, all three films are available on Max.
However, the second installment is often considered the pinnacle of the series. Christian Bale reprises his role as Batman, but it is Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker that steals the spotlight.
Ledger’s performance, blending dark humor with sheer madness, is a key reason why this film is so compelling. Tragically, Ledger passed away six months before the movie’s release but received a posthumous Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.
The Dark Knight remains a landmark superhero movie, celebrated for its complex characters and intense narrative.

28. Hereditary

Hereditary, directed by Ari Aster, takes psychological horror to unprecedented levels.
You follow Annie Graham, a miniature artist portrayed by Toni Collette. She lives with her psychiatrist husband and their two children, Peter and Charlie.
Everything changes after Annie’s estranged mother passes away.
The film quickly immerses you in questions about Annie's sanity, her husband's competence as a psychiatrist, and the odd behavior of her children.
The movie introduces you to unsettling elements like Charlie’s mysterious clicking noise and ominous occurrences in the family's car, which escalate the tension.
Ari Aster’s directorial style sets him apart, making him a noteworthy figure in modern horror cinema.
If you’re interested in more of his work, his second film, Midsommar, is also available for streaming.

Hey everyone,
I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend, and I could really use some advice. We were in a long-distance relationship for two years (i visited him every 2 or 3 months), and it was pretty rough. I suspect he has a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. I’ve always been more affectionate and gave everything to make sure he had what he needed. However, there was a lot of yelling and anger from his side.
Towards the end of our relationship, he found new friends, particularly a female friend he spent most of his time with. People around him even started asking if they were dating. I asked him if he had feelings for her because he talked about her a lot and seemed really happy whenever he mentioned her. I had a similar experience in a past relationship where I was cheated on during an "overnight stay," so I asked him not to stay overnight with her. He agreed, but two days later, he messaged me saying, "it's an overnight," which triggered my trauma, and I regret how I reacted.
Long story short, he broke up with me in a very dismissive manner. After a month of no contact, we somehow reconnected, and we've been back together for five weeks now.
However, communication is still inconsistent. When he's with his friends (which is almost the entire week), he won't text me until he gets home. Even when he’s home, there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll decline a Discord call, saying he’s "not in the mood."
Six weeks into being back together, I was overwhelmed with my feelings (I never stopped loving him). During a nice evening, I told him, "I love you," and his response was "yep." I’m planning to visit him in five days (he lives 1300 km away), but his response felt like a slap in the face.
I don't know if this is a huge red flag or i am just simply overthinking.

Hi all, I am currently dating a bit of a travel snob (I’m more of a backpacker-to-Airbnb type) and I’ve been trying to go to Oaxaca for years. My new boyfriend sounded interested when I told him it’s supposed to have the best Mexican food (he loved CDMX.)
Problem is that I’m having difficulty finding luxury, upscale hotels in the city. He loves staying at Belmond hotels when he travels but I haven’t found anything on that level in Oaxaca.
Any advice? He loved (not surprisingly) the charm in Condesa, Polanco, and San Ángel in CDMX. I’d love to show him that Oaxaca can be just as beautiful.

In summary I (24F) matched with this guy (26M) on hinge. We went on a first date and he was really respectful and we had a decent time. I was generally attracted to him even though he's on the shorter side and I do prefer taller guys but I agreed to a second date. Second date went really good, I had a lot of fun and felt more comfy with him. There was definitely some tension and it looked like he wanted to kiss but was a bit nervous. I've been on other first dates where I would never want to talk to them again so me going on a second date and wanting a third is a good sign. I would definitely want a third date with him but i'm just wondering how i should feel right now? I don't know what the natural progression of dating is because my ex and I met when we were young and then the other time I liked a guy was when he love bombed me for two weeks. I'm not overly obsessed with him and if it didn't work out i'd be fine to move on. Sometimes I find his humour a bit dry compared to mine but l'm also not being my full self around him at this time either. The last guy I talked to love bombed me and made out with me on the first date, I was basically head over heels for him before he broke my heart two weeks later. So l'm wondering if maybe that's why l'm not feeling crazy about this guy. Any advice on how to navigate this?

I’ve been good. I broke up with my first love and my first ex, three years ago. We didn’t really date as It was kind of a FWB thing and my feelings weren’t reciprocated. He strung me along until I was able to end things with him and go no contact. This was after I’d been treated like shit, made to feel weak and made to feel very depressed. Two weeks ago, a new senior manager was hired in my company and this man looks exactly like my ex. For a moment I thought it was as him and my heart skipped a bit. I’ve been good for 3 years, dated a bit but it didn’t work out. All of a sudden there’s a flooding of the good memories and I’m beginning to think of him a lot. Everytime I look at this new colleague I think of him, I can’t help it and it looks like the sadness is beginning to come back. He’s probably dating again and I have no desire to contact him but I do miss him and I’ve been thinking of him and most importantly I’ve been thinking of the maybes and what could be. I need help

i really don’t know where to go from here. so i’m (22F) mexican-american (specifically veracruz, mexico) and for the past 2 years on and off my ex (24M) who is black (he’s got family in NJ and SC) we’ve officially called it quits after letting out the bag, our internalized guilt for dating outside our races/ethnicities. and we both admitted to each other this feels weird and immature..?
we’ve had such a special, loving, passionate and supportive relationship. he was my second relationship ever after i got out of an awful relationship with my previous ex i would go back and forth with this guy for 5 years (even bailing him out of jail once). i did some pretty intense therapy for a year after that ended and at the least expected moment in my life, i met my then boyfriend through a mutual friend. he shot his shot in my dms telling me he saw the selfie i took with my girl friend when we went out to get drinks and told me he noticed i had on a pair of margiela tabi’s in a post of mine! (no because who taught you that lmao)
i work in nonprofit spaces that advocate for immigration-affected populations, all my life i’ve done my best to try and navigate societal institutions through a multicultural lens, i’ve strived to always expand my knowledge on the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality and etc., even beyond the lenses of us-american culture. and yet, my very traditional, christian pentecostal and internalized colorist and anti-black views from my family (majority my mother) i feel held me back from truly being fully happy with my ex-partner. im the stereotypical eldest daughter first-generation latina who has the weight of carrying the generational wealth and success of my family, so obviously i’m a people pleaser especially with my family (currently working on moving out soon too bc after completing undergrad and moving back home i realized my mental health is DETERIORATING) so when my boyfriend and i would have our disagreements (we used to be long distance because my college was 2 hours away) we would just take breaks, until either him or i would be like “okay what’s really going on let’s meet and talk” and then schedule a time to talk and it would always be resolved. but i think deep down we always had this inkling of unsettled feelings, at least for me, it was trying to keep my mothers disapproval at bay and make my partner feel like he doesn’t have to worry about my mental wellbeing all the time.
my ex is on the same boat also having very christian parents, being the eldest son and first-generation to graduate college also thinking about the future and how his success will carry on in his family. he’s a marketing consultant and works at a major shoe company, and i know deep down he’s also a creative genius, he’s a natural stylist and has always had beautiful fashion sense we’ve bonded over our shared passion for aesthetics and the arts since we first began talking. many times i’ve told him to take his styling to the next level but i think he’s always gone the safe route of another corporate position for the sake of his family… again. and i’m incredibly aware of the obstacles dark skin black men face time and time again trying to enter creative institutions, so i don’t discredit his choice of wanting to stay where he is in order to provide for his parents and siblings.
well, we both broke things off a first time around may 2023 when we both graduated mostly because senior year of undergrad completely eviscerated us mentally and emotionally. we both had family members die a couple months before our graduation and after some bad miscommunication and avoidant behaviors in regards to attending each other’s graduation, and then neither of us attending each other’s graduation, it disappointed me greatly and as y’all know, latinos prioritize being there for the big moments in each other’s lives. anyway, my ex and i went without talking for about 9 months, we were still social media mutuals then and around feb/march 2024 we broke the ice and grabbed coffee and went to dinner one evening.
it was like time had never passed. he was still the most beautiful and charming man i remembered meeting 2 years ago. his humor, banter and affectionate nature felt like home to me. at the end of the night he offered to drive me home (my car had been at the repair shop that day and i ubered to meet up with him) and i politely accepted after realizing my closest uber would be 15 minutes away. i made the first “move” and lightly placed my hand on his , and telling him how great it was to see each other again, and that i missed him. he reached out and rubbed my thigh lightly squeezing it while still driving and telling me he missed me very much too. when he got to my parent’s house (which he still remembered how to get there no gps needed) we sat for what felt like forever but were only a couple of minutes saying our goodbyes, until finally i reached over to give him a hug and kissed his cheek, he kissed mine, and then we made out. after those few seconds we broke off and i told him to text me when he made it home, he did and that was that. no next day conversation about that event. we’d do this little dance every now and again only meeting up when our jobs didn’t get in the way of scheduling, maybe meeting up about a handful of times from feb 2024 to now (june 2024) but still texting almost daily. until finally at the end of last month (may 2024) i opened up about how deeply disappointing it had been for me to not have my then partner be there at my graduation even if i had been kinda awkward around the conversation because so much was going on with my family and mental health, all i really wanted was him there. being present for those occasions are immensely important to latinos. then, he said he felt regret about not being there either, he knew deep down he should’ve found a way to go even if his car wasn’t working at the time (he had a 15+ yr old car back then and recently upgraded), he hadn’t considered the fact that because his own graduation didn’t feel like a big deal to him that i’d feel differently and i had every right to feel resentment towards him for it. my mother also made it a point to point out at the time that because HE wasn’t there, no one else truly cared about me, with the exception of HER. i should’ve broken things off with that “bum” long ago. that “bum” was the first partner i openly shared my bpd diagnosis with and even though i’d exhibited plenty of times my anxious-avoidant attachment behaviors to, he’d still find a way a reassure me he wants me to trust him. he might not have all the “emotional intelligence” and “therapy lingo” to know what’s all going on or how his own bad habits affect me but he’s always gone out of his way to ask how to be better… that’s what made me fall in love with him. my mother had always found a way to influence my choices even when deep down they went against my better judgement.
continuing that convo, i open up about how my mother had manipulated my point of view and led me to my agreed choice of when my ex and i first separated. at the time of our first breakup (may 2023) he said he didn’t know if he wanted to separate because he just felt distance from me or he felt distance and a loss of love on his end because we hadn’t been seeing each other in person for a few months before graduation. at the time i had said “that’s for you to figure out, but i can’t go back and forth with you on the lil “breaks” we take because you think im saying “break ups” when really i just need time to process things and need reassurance, not more distance, i want more vulnerability from you.” since then i realized “taking a break” is a literal trigger phrase for him after being in a situationship with a girl who avoided his attempts to hang out or go on dates.
i told him im aware of the fact we’ve been dancing around what exactly we are since almost any other occasion we go out together there’s some kind of physical affection involved. most recently a concert we went to where he held me the entire time. and after lots of apologies and discussion, we both stopped fronting and admitted we missed each other deeply, and maybe we still had that loving connection with each other. he made it a point to mention that throughout the months we went no-contact he missed me deeply, “all i thought about was how is she doing? what’s that beautiful and smart shorty up to, i miss her and love her.” he told me from now on, he’d make sure to be present for those special occasions no matter what, he had finally put a down payment on his new car and was ready to go anywhere when it came to those events and wherever i’d move to (i had been debating to stay in my current area or move closer to work) and that would no longer be a problem. and i told him that means a lot but also, even though i will be moving, it’s important to make note that my mental health will be pretty sensitive when it comes to my transition to living alone (that latina daughter guilt does NOT PLAY) he said he was willing to learn and prepare strategies that help me when i feel that way. he had such a confident and supportive attitude when all my concerns came up. by then we had circled around the fact that we had been affectionate with one another these last few months and where did i stand as far as what we were. i was honest and told him i don’t really know, but after hearing him be open about those months and lingering feelings, whilst also reassuring me, i told him where i wanna go from there and that if what i’m hearing sounds right, then all i need is some time to finish arranging my life for a bit with the move out, and tell my mother ONCE i’ve moved out about the status of his and i’s relationship, just because of her notoriety to use any relationships i have against me. he agreed and said he understood, it would be better to keep that under wraps until the big move out. i thought that conversation went well and the next day i had to take a day trip for a job related event, and on the day after the event drive back as i sat more with my thoughts. so i asked him my lingering questions “what’s the conversation gonna be like for your family as far as mentioning me?” and “i think im jumping the gun a bit but, what are our anniversary dates looking like or maybe this is a future conversation but, maybe i just have lingering resentment of the dates all these conflicts went down.”
his responses being, “i don’t think i want to move forward with this whole relationship, i think im just not feeling the same as then and maybe i just didn’t think it through entirely and went off of your feelings” he had disappointed me once again, maybe choosing the avoidance route when i would ask for clarity and action from him as reinforcement from his apologies, because apologies and promises without action are just words. so we met up and cleared the air, i was transparent with him, no hiding and fawning like i used to, and told him it’s time he realized his forms of deflection, by placing blame on me and dodging confrontation and action because he assumes others intentions are to judge him and with malice is not how he should walk through life. if you weren’t ready to answer the questions and just wanted more time to work towards those goals then i would’ve understood. but now where do you stand on still wanting or not wanting a relationship, because frankly for myself, i was ready to just shut the door on him. i don’t want to be around him if he’s just going to regress to those behaviors. he was incredibly vulnerable, reflecting and then tearing up (he never does that), and thanked me for calling him out and said he would absolutely work on that from now on, he learns so much better when he’s called out even if he initially feels the need to be defensive. he’s now thought about every single personal relationship he’s had where he’s exhibited those behaviors and wants to heal from that. but as far as making a decision on if we wanted to or not continue a relationship we left that for a next time we met which was like a week later.
we met up, he showed me his new car, went for a walk and talked. we discussed work, how was apartment searching for me, how was life, and then. the topic at hand. do we or do we not move forward with this? and he said what i deep down knew would be his safe bet “i think it’s time we part ways you know? i’ve been thinking about from then to now, like, from the period we weren’t speaking to now, and it just feels like it’s not the same.” i nodded and told him that’s a choice i can agree on too but also, that there was more. and he went “more? how so?” i went “well, it’s natural that after some time people change and things don’t feel the same i mean we spent more time apart than really cultivating something but in the time we reconnected, to me, it feels like friends who’ve never lost track of time. but what else are your reasons?” he went “well. there’s two really i think. communication is a big one, but i feel like now that we can both meet and talk in person, when we talk and call it’s so much easier to understand each other than text. like, we seem to work together to get on a similar page. but yeah that. and, to be honest it’s been this weird feeling whether it’s a moral thing on my end or the voice of my auntie in my head but, dating someone who isn’t black feels like, wrong. like, it’s not right and, my auntie wants BLACK nieces and BLACK nephews you know?” and finally… i didn’t feel crazy anymore. i knew my intuition was right. i knew all the times i had thought deep down he wasn’t sure how to navigate family occasions with me around and i, also not being sure with him, weren’t just some weird racial tension on my end. and i laughed.
he looked at me and went “what?” i finally uncovered my mouth after trying to stifle my laughter and went “that was one of my reasons too, if not, the biggest one.” and both of us sighed at the same time. i told him “you have no idea how deeply awful i felt over the fact that maybe your family wasn’t interested in incorporating me into the picture and maybe you were hesitant to incorporate me out of like embarrassment“ and he stopped me “no, not embarrassment. you never, not once, were embarrassing to me” so quickly i responded “let me rephrase, sorry, hmmm, guilt?” he nodded, “exactly. guilt.” so i continued “i remember our first thanksgiving together, when we finally went to your grandparents’ place and they offered us seats at the adult table and you turned it down to sit with your siblings and i asked why and you said we can talk about it later and i didn’t bother to remind you again? i think i knew, you didn’t want them to probe me with questions, or they run the risk of saying something outta line.” he got quiet “yeah…. and i’m sorry you kept that to yourself all this time.” i said “it’s alright. i’m glad i don’t feel crazy anymore.” we continued chatting, “for myself, as a latina, and my family being immigrant. we prioritize not only the retention of the spanish language but the acculturation and customs from food, to manners, to values. and while the rest of my family truly has no qualms as far as race, only my mother is more apprehensive because of her own deep seated colorism and trauma she has, what’s held me back is your american-ness.” “i feel guilty when i know latino men struggle with access to education, support, desirability, etc and other societal issues that affect them, and knowing our culture teaches us to stand behind our hard working latino men, i know it’s what my family wants for me, i feel guilty of not fulfilling that expectation, when im with you. and i also know the latina woman and black woman diaspora share almost a vent diagram of similar issues passed on from white supremacy, stereotypes, and other issues within the culture. social media has literally written think pieces on those families that start off as black/brown/latino and then like after two generations, full of white ass babies.” and he nodded “as a black man, who’s been hearing and seeing on social media that same stuff, but also raised in a black household entirely, it’s all people talk about. for me, like you said, black women have been seen as less desirable by others, it’s not at all how i was taught of course, but still when, being with you, i can’t explain the guilt of what it might be like for someone to think i don’t find black women attractive even if it’s not true.” and i nodded in agreement. it somehow felt so reassuring to know we both sat with this unspoken feeling for over two years, just wanting to do right and please others around us, even repeating to ourselves it’s what’s right.
and then we sat for a while and he said “now… i’m confused.” i responded “me too.” he said “i thought this would resolve it and just make it easier but, now it feels immature?” and me “yeah, childish even?” he nodded. i talked to him about advice i had received from one of my married friends she’s black and her husband is latino. in summary she explained the more one holds off on those hard topics the more everything else seems to snowball, and it’s going to be impossible to please everyone in your family, at the end of the day, the people in the relationship are the only knows who know the truth. i don’t know why i hadn’t remembered that advice until now, but i shared it with him, as we reflected more. he was right. this was confusing. so, he broke the silence “i think i still want to go through with splitting up. and yeah” i sat still for a while longer, nodded my head, and walked away. it was the first time i had left any conversation with my ex without saying a final word or thought. i went to my car and sat quietly inside for a few minutes, silent tears rolling down my face. if we had both agreed to do what was right for our families and communities, why did it feel like i betrayed myself? i don’t know, but im hoping to just find a way to heal from this past relationship, any advice?

My autistic little sister(11) got bullied for like two years by the same rich kids in her class and the teacher didn't give a sh because she's getting expensive presents from those parents who are pressing others to give money for the class budget to get her presents. Today there was a meeting with the school counselor, the adjunct principal and those parents who were behaving just like their brats. My little sister is so traumatised that she's affected physically. When mom came to school after she found out she was as pale as a ghost and on the point of fainting. My heart breaks because she was threatened and hit my those bullies, even followed to the bathroom by them during classes to bully her. She became so quiet and had so many meltdowns, then i asked her if something happened at school. We got the info so hard from her, but we finally got a list. She cried so much when she told us. She said that no one was hearing or seeing her. I went to the same school and also got bullied and teachers just watched until our ex-principal took action(idk what happened to her, but she was great). Please make my sister's voice heard, that's all i'm asking, nothing else. She's such a sweet and lovely child and doesn't deserve being treated this way just like any ball of sunshine who was bullied and lost their shiny light while suffering didn't deserve to suffer so much because of such horrible ghouls.

I started dating my CPTSD ex around this time last year.
We started off in this beautiful, earnest, vulnerable relationship which was far too quick really. There was no 'finding our way in' through shared interests etc, we just met, I told her I liked her, and *Boom!* we were right in at the depths.
I had my own parental trauma that I was trying to pull myself together from, and I was doing well but her openness with discussing all her stuff kind of... I don't know... it connected with my own experience, and almost 'undid' some of my self-work, I think.
The thing is, I couldn't fit in with everything she said she needed - it's like... she needed my whole life, right from early on.
I wasn't boundaried enough, because I hadn't worked on myself enough; but also she'd told me about her severe trauma and it felt hard to disappoint her.
She also had paintings of kids’ toys on the wall of her apartment which were directly related to her trauma - kind of like symbols. And cushions with that on.
I wanted to be a BIT cautious then, and when I set some light boundaries, she didn't often respond well to them.
She started to become a bit abusive towards me, and actually did a few things which were pretty scary and unexpected.
People kept telling me that it was an abusive relationship, but I struggled to see it.
Eventually, she got really upset with me and broke up with me.
I didn't really understand how it all came to that, and it broke me. Absolutely broke me.
We managed to make up in time, and we came to a place of really warm openness.
We also told each other that we felt we sort of loved each other (both of us being a little cautious, and both of us still making sense of our feelings).
I still thought we COULD get back together, but I didn't tell her that explicitly - I wanted to see if we could maintain a friendship first because I figured that'd take self-regulation from her, consistency from me, and maybe demonstrate what we were really dealing with.
The thing is... she kept disappearing, or going cold. Then coming back really warm. Then disappearing. Then texting. Then not replying.
And every time it kind of hurt - it reminded me of the way she broke up with me, and I felt like I was hanging on a string, waiting for some clarity or consistency.
Over the weekend, I saw her holding hands with a new man. She has a new boyfriend now, which she didn't tell me about (fair enough), and when I asked her about it, she simply said she'd moved on and didn't have anything to say.
It broke me all over again... so I messaged and told her that I really wanted to stay in touch, but that I was finding our dynamic too hard to sustain and that I needed to close the door on us. I blocked her social media accounts.
I've just looked at my phone, and I think she's blocked me now (the whatsapp time stamp isn't coming up anymore).
I feel awful, because we'd broken up and in some ways... her inconsistent contact over the last three months isn't REALLY a big crime. She didn't promise anything, and she didn't really let me down.
But I still said I wanted to cut things off.
And she's been through so much in her life, and I WISH I could've just kept things open to indicate that I still accepted her... and I feel that by cutting things off, I've probably just piled more shame on to her; and that half of it was my fault for being codependent.
I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be a healthy guy for her, and now I feel like I've just made everything worse.
It's horrible.

This might be a little longer so buckle up and grab yourself some popcorn. English is not my first language so please bare with me and excuse potential messes.
This was a few years back. And to some point some of the events still haunt me and some still make me giggle. It all started an evening before the wedding. The wedding was planned in a different part of my country where there are different traditions for weddings than in my part. I was lost a lot. We all gathered at my friends parents house (grandma lives with them, we love her). It was basically her family, her cousin, a friend and my and my ex. Her cousin and me were something like bridesmaids. Not in a typical US type i guess. We didn't specifically want him there but there we were. We were doing some finishing touches for the wedding, think sitting cards. The bride and i were discussing the beauty plan for the next day, what at what time etc. Meanwhile, some of the group, my ex decides this is a perfect time to get drunk. Fair enough, and we put him to bed at some point.
Next morning comes. And it is early. Really early. I got up at like 5am and wondered down to the kitchen where i was extremely happy to see grandma cooking a big pot of coffee. To my dismay it was a barley coffee. i politely asked for a normal coffee and grandma is a rock star and she gave me to cook another pot. So i did. Only, there was not much of the coffee. Maybe for like two small cups. For once in my life i selfishly think "oh that is good enough for me". This will bite me just a few moments later. So i pour myself a cup and leave it on the table while going to the restroom. i come back and see the cousin, we will call her Stella, joyfully finishing my cup of coffee. No biggie right? I can have another cup. Guess what. No. There is no more coffee. I think to myself, fine, not a big deal, i will beg my caffeine fix eventually. But no. The neighbors come, with coffee. This is apparently normal as this is a rural area and your neighbors are your family. I don't know them but i hug the lady. I am exstatic at this point to get the caffeine fix i so desperately need. But wait. The bride comes and we need to go get our hair done. Ok, but i just want some coffee still, no we gotta go. Her day, i shut up. We get to the hairdresses and i see family members having breakfast and coffee. At this point i have no shame and it is still early so i ask if there is maybe some coffee left. They say no, but tell me to wait as they have something better. I can hardly contain myself. A guy comes back with a full glass of schnapps. I am floored. It is like 7am and i am not a drinker. He insists. I do my best to chug it. While the bride and Stella go inside i sit outside on the bench as i am completely drunk, have no idea on how i will be doing any make up for anyone, contemplating my life choices and the dragon running around is green and red.
We get everything done, and i even manage to do 2 full make ups and it is decided i will finish the bride once she is dressed. Fine by me. We get back to her parents house and i finish doing her make up. We are waiting for the grooms party to come and get his bride. They come, bride and groom are happy. I am happy and all is good. Only it is not. Why would it be. Brides MIL finds me and starts yelling at me some pointless sh**. I still don't know what it was. All in all she is a lovely lady and we always got along. But not on that day. Somehow she decided i will be her yelling bag that day. I tried to calm her down but nothing worked so i gave her a glass of wine. She seemed surprised but took it. I still had not had a single sip of coffee.
Fast way forward. The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Even my period decided to show a fair amount of days early. She is followed with huge amount of pain, cramps, migraines. Just so much fun. And i still had not had any coffee.
Time for reception. All is good, food is bountiful. And there is a lot of wine. I am delighted to see a certain dessert on the dessert table. The bride told me she ordered extra so i can surely have as much as i want. Yes, we love each other. Anyway. I end up sitting next to brides MIL. She is still piss** at me for some reason. I still to this day have no clue what i have done wrong to deserve her wrath on that day. She again starts something with me. I am not engaging as i hate confrontation. So i just ask her if her feet are hurting. She says yes so i tell her we can both just kick off our heels. Mind you, we were sitting at the head table overlooking the rest of the guests. She seemed appalled by my suggestion, so i happily bow under the table and tell her it is ok as the table cloth goes down to the floor and no one will see us. I think we bonded a little with our heels free smelly feet later on.
At some point i end up at the dessert table. I start with all those rum balls and manage to finish them. This is rather normal i guess. Anyway, new keep coming. Someone from the kitchen told me they took the bets on how much i can eat. This seemed fun. So i asked this person on how many did they bet and if i can have some coffee. This was fun. I finally got myself some proper coffee. I had to hide with it to drink it, but oh well.
So, the groom has this best friend. Lovely lad. He asked me if i like the wine. Me being the dumbest and until then still no coffee told the honest truth. I told him i didn't like it as it is way to sour tasting for me. I am happy to say his wife found this hilarious. This is when i remembered he is a winemaker and his wedding gift was the wine for the reception. This was on me. My bad. I did apologize immediately. Lucky for me he thought i was hilarious. To my defense, as this another part of the country, the wine taste is different than in my region. And i really do not like sour tasting wine.
I am sure there was more. Like normal wedding mishaps. At some point i was sewing and repairing the wedding dress on the bride. All normal and good.
At the end of the day, the bride and groom were happy and drunk. I got some desserts to go as well. They are still happily married and with children now. We are still good friends and i love her to bits. Even her Mil.

(English Isn't my first language, so excause me If some words dosen't add up or misspelled.)
I (21F) and my Boyfriend (23M) didn't had Sex in the last 5 days.
Over the last 5 days, my Life became stressful whit work and Familie drama, that i didn't had the Energie or Motivation for any Bed Activitys.
Last night, my Boyfriend and i had a heated Argumente about our Bed Life. He dosen't feel satisfy whit the lack of Sex we had over the 5 days and that his needs didn't got meet. He complainted, that i didn't gave him enough affection and love. That he has needs and wants to do it multiple times a day.
I explained to him, that i didn't had the Energie or Motivation for it right now and that i have more importent things to do in my Life, then Sex. He didn't like my answer and started yelling at me and he was trying to make me feel Bad, but i didn't gave in. I was stubborn.
He told me, that he talked about the lack of sex whit his female best Friend about it and how she sayed that i'm in the wrong and that she understands him, that she also needs it every day to feel loved. I started to get Angry, after he brought his female best Friend into our private Sex Life and told him, that i won't force myself to sleep whit him, Just so he can have his 5 minutes of fun.
It went on for hours, untill he grabbed his blanked and decidet to sleep on the Couch. I couldnt Shake Off the Feeling that maybe i am in the wrong and that i neglected him over the Last 5 days.
I would appreciate some advice on how to Handle this situation. Thanke you.

I've been wanting to journal for the longest time now. The current journal I have has my ex written all over it. And unfortunately, I cannot afford to get a new journal. I don't know what else to do. Junk journaling is something that I also love to do. The relationship with my ex was absolutely toxic and starting new is all I want to do right now.

I haven’t been posting in here for a couple of months, as so many things have changed in my life. I’m so grateful this community was there for me when I needed it the most. But even though I found an amazing partner and we love each other very much I have been thinking a lot about my life choices lately.
To be honest, this is mostly because my partner whom I’m in a long distance relationship with would like me to open up more about my emotions, since this helps them to feel closer to me. And of course a large part of this is related to what I was feeling before I came out. The problem is that I find it extremely hard to relate to the person I was back then. Why did I want a child? Why did I marry? Looking back I have lost attraction for my ex many years ago. I can’t really pinpoint an exact moment, but I do remember that I had doubts about marrying. So on top of the blurry feelings there is this shame of having done something not because I really really wanted it but… I don’t know! That’s the thing, I really don’t understand why I took those decisions back then.
I struggle with memory issues anyway (might be related to trauma or potentially undiagnosed ADHD), and sometimes I wonder if I actually remember events or I just reconstruct them in my head based on photos and videos. Everything that’s not kept alive in photos kind of fades away sooner or later. Which is very difficult to grasp for my autistic partner and their laser sharp memory.
I really want to be the best girlfriend for my partner, and I’m extremely proud and thankful that I have this chance in life with them. I know that I need therapy. I’m procrastinating starting the process because I’m afraid that I won’t find the answers I so desperately need. I don’t know if I need any advice from you. Maybe I just needed to write it down and seek for some comfort in hearing your stories, in case you can relate to mine. Otherwise thanks for reading to all you amazing people in here 💜

I started dating my CPTSD ex around this time last year.
We started off in this beautiful, earnest, vulnerable relationship which was far too quick really. There was no 'finding our way in' through shared interests etc, we just met, I told her I liked her, and *Boom!* we were right in at the depths.
I had my own parental trauma that I was trying to pull myself together from, and I was doing well but her openness with discussing all her stuff kind of... I don't know... it connected with my own experience, and almost 'undid' some of my self-work, I think.
The thing is, I couldn't fit in with everything she said she needed - it's like... she needed my whole life, right from early on.
I wasn't boundaried enough, because I hadn't worked on myself enough; but also she'd told me about her severe trauma and it felt hard to disappoint her.
She also had paintings of kids’ toys on the wall of her apartment which were directly related to her trauma - kind of like symbols. And cushions with that on.
I wanted to be a BIT cautious then, and when I set some light boundaries, she didn't often respond well to them.
She started to become a bit abusive towards me, and actually did a few things which were pretty scary and unexpected.
People kept telling me that it was an abusive relationship, but I struggled to see it.
Eventually, she got really upset with me and broke up with me.
I didn't really understand how it all came to that, and it broke me. Absolutely broke me.
We managed to make up in time, and we came to a place of really warm openness.
We also told each other that we felt we sort of loved each other (both of us being a little cautious, and both of us still making sense of our feelings).
I still thought we COULD get back together, but I didn't tell her that explicitly - I wanted to see if we could maintain a friendship first because I figured that'd take self-regulation from her, consistency from me, and maybe demonstrate what we were really dealing with.
The thing is... she kept disappearing, or going cold. Then coming back really warm. Then disappearing. Then texting. Then not replying.
And every time it kind of hurt - it reminded me of the way she broke up with me, and I felt like I was hanging on a string, waiting for some clarity or consistency.
Over the weekend, I saw her holding hands with a new man. She has a new boyfriend now, which she didn't tell me about (fair enough), and when I asked her about it, she simply said she'd moved on and didn't have anything to say.
It broke me all over again... so I messaged and told her that I really wanted to stay in touch, but that I was finding our dynamic too hard to sustain and that I needed to close the door on us. I blocked her social media accounts.
I've just looked at my phone, and I think she's blocked me now (the whatsapp time stamp isn't coming up anymore).
I feel awful, because we'd broken up and in some ways... her inconsistent contact over the last three months isn't REALLY a big crime. She didn't promise anything, and she didn't really let me down.
But I still said I wanted to cut things off.
And she's been through so much in her life, and I WISH I could've just kept things open to indicate that I still accepted her... and I feel that by cutting things off, I've probably just piled more shame on to her; and that half of it was my fault for being codependent.
I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be a healthy guy for her, and now I feel like I've just made everything worse.
It's horrible.

Hi Everyone!
I love when folks create a half request + half list of their recommendations that meet the prompt, and thought I'd make one for my current enjoyment: epistolary romances. There is just something about a story told through letters/emails/texts/etc that is so fun to watch play out!
Looking for your favorite stories that are either entirely told through letters/emails/texts/notes/etc (my favorite) or your favorite stories that have some epistolary moments where the MC's communicate via these methods. No preferences or no's. Any pairings, tropes, and subgenres are welcome :)
Here's my recommendations!
Entirely epistolary (whole book is via letters/texts/emails/etc)

• His Majesty's Merriment by TJ Land - HR and fantasy, enemies to lovers, the King's tailor and chef are tasked with planning his birthday party at the castle, so many excellent letters sent.
• Love, Your Neighbour by TJ Land - contemporary, neighbors, OTT lead, emails and notes stuck to doors, one MC is a dom for hire (specializing in rape fantasies and kidnappings), and the other MC thinks he's a serial killer. There's emails sent to the dom's potential clients that were really funny in addition to the romance!
• The Gardens of Yes and No by Kae So Bu - HR, Japan 1861, two long letters sent, one from each MC's POV (thanks again to u/_elliebelle_ for this rec! still think about it!)

Has some epistolary moments

• Mr Warren's Profession by Sebastian Nothwell - HR, set at a mill, class differences, letters, I loved Aubrey. (I am eternally indebted to u/flumpapotamus for getting me hooked on Nothwell's stories!)
• Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly - contemporary, backpacking, letters that weren't sent to the other but showed what the MC was feeling in the moment.
• Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - contemporary, emails and texts sent between the MC's

Still on my TBR:

• Like I Pictured by Charlie Novak - contemporary, email relationship
• Love, Isidor by Nell Iris - contemporary, second chance, letters
• A Flowering of Ink by KL Noone - contemporary, letters -> texts -> calls -> meeting in person, one MC is working on research on an island
• The Scandalous Letters of V and J by Felicia Davin - XX, HR fantasy, Paris 1832, two nonbinary leads, one lead can change their body by magic, story is told primarily in letters and diary entries

Thanks in advance for sharing any of your favorites! :)

Greetings, my first post here, I am 39M and currently dating my girlfriend 35F which I met 5-6 months ago and it that time it was 3-4 months after a breakup with my ex 30F, we were around 1 year and 8 months in relationship. I didn't date anyone in that first 3-4 months, was going regularly to therapist to try to work out on my feelings.
Relationship with my ex was far from normal... She had BPD disorder, eating disorder, depression, was suicidal, self harming etc. She was very upfront about all her health problems from the first date and I like that honesty. I liked her very much, her personality, way she talks, thinks, she was very cute, my heart was into her instantly. I didn't know nothing about that kind of mental illness before. And I was so proud of her because of her struggle with her illness, she was going regularly to therapist, psychiatrist, workshops, nutritionists, drinking psychiatrist 6+ pills per day for her problems... But during time her illness slowly took a tool on me. I was abused heavily in my childhood by my parents, lots of violence and verbal abuse and my father took his own life 7 years ago by cutting himself. Sorry if it sounds disturbing but I think it's important for this story because I was triggered by watching my ex cut herself. She in the beginning said she want to end her life, she want to try heroin, she want to try threesome or solo with another women etc. And when I screwed something small up, she would make it a catastrophe and was thinking about ending the relationship. She always apologized after that because it was the "splitting", the main characteristic of her disorder. I was thinking about ending it multiple times, but I was so moved by her struggle and my love for her so I wanted to give a shot. Because I had a narrative that love can conquer everything, and we are team, we must fight together because true love is hard to find. And she was very grateful, she always said that she loves me, that she cares, she always made some sort of amend, and she was always listening to my problems and tried to help me with talks and compassion. But I always had a feeling that I am walking on eggshells, and nuclear bomb is soon to explode again. She never physically abused me or cheated on me but I was so afraid what will come next. She was hospitalized 2 times during relationship and I always wanted to be there for her. My friend were starting to be concerned for my well being. To cut the story short, in October last year we broke up. She was initiating it, not the first time, but this time I accept her offer (she left me through the phone). I just felt that I couldn't take this anymore, no matter how I love her, how I still love her. It's like the feeling that I want to lift a weight of 300kgs but my body just cant do it, no matter how much I would love to. During next months we exchanged some texts, she blocked me everywhere except SMS text. Always initiated by her, only one by me, a long closure text. She even texted few times recently to let me know that she want's to get back together. By that time I was already seeing my new girlfriend. I replied that I still loved her but admitting that this is the end and giving her clear hints that this relationship is not possible. A month ago it was her birthday, she wished me a happy birthday on mine 6 months ago, we texted wishes on Christmas, New Year and all that but I decided to break off all contact, even not wishing her a happy birthday. Few weeks before that she sent me a message that she want's too see me, and I didn't reply. That was the last time and I blocked her permanently.
I discussed all this with my new girlfriend because I wanted to be honest to her. I told her that I am still not over my ex, that it was a very traumatic relationship for me and that I visit my therapist regularly. She was very understanding and we agreed that we will not rush. She also broke up with her ex husband last year but she said she was not in love with him for years and that her heart is healed from him. They only communicate about their 2 kids.
With this new girlfriend I am really enjoying not only because I like her very much but because it's a polar difference of the old one! No more walking on egg shells, everything is so calm, beautiful and relaxing. We even made a few trips together, last week I took her to Istanbul in Turkey and we had such a lovely time. I developed lot's of feelings for her and slowly starting to fall in love. It's a type of woman I always wanted. She is so nice, good person, calm, beautiful looks, sex is amazing...
But still, all this time I have a strong guilt inside of me. I still feel a strong love for my ex and I am feeling that am I immoral because I am maybe cheating my girlfriend because my heart is not yet healed. There are lot's of times that I imagine that my ex is somehow seeing me and my new girlfriend and I know it would devastate her... Sometimes I cannot enjoy times fully with my new girlfriend because I am thinking about my ex. And that creates a really powerful conflict inside of me. This conflicts are very strong especially when I am alone because I am with my thoughts more than when I am with her, most of the time I spent time with her I feel affection and that I am falling in love.
My therapist told me that I am not such a bad person like I think I am, that I was honest and upfront to my current girlfriend and that she is an adult person who accept consequences like all others. He told me that I can love two persons in the same time. And sometimes that makes sense, there were weeks recently where I was fine, but now I'm not fine again obviously, that's why I wrote this long text while I wait for my next appointment.
All of my friends told me that they are happy for me, that I should move further with my new relationship and that they like my girlfriend. On one them was particularly happy for me because he never saw me that unhappy, worried and afraid like that time when I was with my ex. Only one friend told me that maybe I should listen to my heart and return to ex, but I think she also had the same BPD diagnosis and also she has lot's of mental problems, plus marijuana addiction...
So, thank you for reading this whole painful text, I really appreciate it! And if you have some thoughts and opinions about this situation I would me very grateful.
Cheers!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I’ve been with him during really intense and rough moments where he absolutely didn’t lose his temper. He’s been constantly calm and quiet during heated moments which makes him an amazing person. I could say I’ve never seen him angry, at all. Last week we were both WFH and I ordered us lunch. I was talking to him before about how I actually like having lunch together. I mentioned that in my last relationship my ex would never have lunch with me and would prefer his friends instead. I thought I was being genuine but it upset him. He looked at me and said “will you shut the f up about that already?” He said it quietly but I could tell he was angry. Idk why it hurt me so much. I ended up crying and not having lunch. Later, we spent some time not talking. I told him that his words really hurt me and he said he wasn’t sorry. He said that I talk about my exes way too much and it’s annoying. He said “I don’t mean to be cruel but it’s about time”. Basically saying I should stop talking about my ex because it gives all the wrong signals. I asked if he thinks I deserved it and he said I should think from his POV.
I don’t wanna sideline myself. But he seems extremely convinced it’s my fault

Hello this is my first post ever on reddit and English is not my first language.
My (24M) friend (23M) declared his love for me and I'm a bit confused. So, a little context, we have been friends since highschool. I was into him a little after highschool but I thought he was straight back then. Years later I moved countries and when I got back he seemed mad with me making snarky comments About me and a friend told me his problem might be one of two things, he is jealous of me or he is into me, at the moment I didn't care a lot as I was just mad he was an overall jerk with me.
He then moved countries at the begining of this year. He called me the other day because he was very sad. He said he had to come back but didn't want to give me the reason, after a while he finally told me he is coming back because he got diagnosed with a brain tumor and he has to come back home to get chemo.
I was shocked to say the least and didn't really know what to say so I just said I will be there for him and I'd see him as soon as he is back. We talked for a while and he told me he was also sad because no one loved him, he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 months the other day because he is coming back home. I don't remember the exact conversation but he said something like " no one loves me romantically" to which I said "who doesn't love you romantically" thinking he was gonna say his gf or his ex or a friend in common we have but no, he said " you, you don't love me romantically"
At this point I was already kinda shocked by him telling me he was sick and I didn't think I heard right. He didn't want to repeat it but he knew I heard it and got all weird then went back to complaining about how his ex doesn't love him. I started to think about our interactions over the past year since I came back home last summer. At one point, the third time we saw each other, he said he was bisexual. And between this, him being mad at me for not hanging out with him and this confession I feel like he might be very confused and maybe a lil bit gay ( his family is kinda homophobic but he has 2 younger gay siblings, so he was supposed to be the one that had kids and a family etc) and I think he might be gay but very deep in the closet.
We haven't talked since that day, except for a few text where he thanked me and told me he loved me ( idk if as a friend or what)
We are seeing each other this week. I don't know how to feel about this as I was very into him a few years back but now, i don't know he is a very good friend but I dont like him that much romantically, that's true.
Do you guys think i should address this when we see each other? I dont think he is gonna do it. Should I tell him I like him back ?
From past experiences of girls going out with him he is not the best boyfriend material or anything but again, what if he actually is gay and very deep in the closet?