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2024.05.29 08:18 Dry-Violinist-4864 The Thing in the Woods
Hello. My name is David and I’m from a small city in Michigan off the the coast of Lake Michigan that is mostly known for its high crime rate and high school sports teams. In this post I’m going to recount a meeting my family, friends and I had when I was 18.
The year was 2015, I had just graduated high school and I was working my first job. I resided in a trailer park that was located just off the beach, in between the beach and my trailer park was a small forest, and in that forest was a sand factory that stored sand to sell. I had 3 close friends that lived in the neighborhood around the trailer park. Ryan, Brett, and Bob. My Step Dad worked as a cab driver, and I worked as a burger flipper, which left my mother at home alone most days. Our trailer was located right at the back of the park and only the trees separated our trailer from the sand factory field.
So the trailer we lived in was old and beat up, it had siding missing underneath it leaving it open for any animals that could possibly wonder underneath. The first time hearing this thing, it sounded as if two cats were chasing eachother full speed underneath our trailer. We could feel it from one end to the other. This was in the early days of June and we didn’t think nothing of it, being that we lived in a trailer park that was infested with stray cats.
Sometime in the middle of the month a neighbor approached my mom and advised her to get our siding fixed as she had seen an abnormally large raccoon exit from underneath our trailer in the early morning hours.
Now my mom being left alone every night began to hear noises in the trees right behind our house. She described these noises as a monkey screaming at the top of its lungs as loud as it could. She would try to explain what was going on to me when I got out of work every night but I didn’t think much of it. Until one day I heard the noises too. Neighbors started to complain their pets were coming up missing. And things started to get kind of creepy.
That’s when my mom met Luigi. Luigi was a large black man that stayed with his mom in the trailer park, I think my mom was standing outside one night smoking some weed when he walked by and they struck up a casual conversation. Then he started in on his personal experience without any prior knowledge to my mom’s experience. One night he was coming home and it was late. He seen a creature at the end of his road which he believed was a dog. This had to be at least 50 yards from him. It began to approach him. He didn’t pay it no mind, that is until it stood up. He described this creature as an all white beast that resembled a monkey, with pitch black pupils that stared in his sole. It began to run at him. He ran into his home as fast as he could and before he could shut the door this creature shoved his hand in the door blocking it from closing. Luigi is at least 6’6 250 pounds and this man was screaming for his mother. When this thing finally left his home, it stole the lid off of his garbage can.
This prompted my mother to figure out what the hell this creature was. It scared the shit out of her, and intrigued her at the very same time. It haunted her thoughts. Still to this day it does. Her beliefs as to why this creature exists and what it is haunt her as well. It traumatized her. If I wasn’t so young and naive it probably would do the same to me, I don’t live to far from where I used to live, and I still find myself shutting my doors on certain summer nights when I hear things outside that don’t sound too promising.
So following her hearing Luigi’s story and continuing to hear the creature’s scream in the evening hours, my mom began to ask around. Surprisingly, not very many of the residents had seen or heard anything, which is crazy because allot of our neighbors had spent allot of time outside.
One night my friends Brett, Ryan, Bob and I were hanging out at my house when we heard it screaming. It was already pretty dark out, but this prompted all of us, my mom included to investigate. We first walked around the trailer park. We ended up meeting one of the residents who accompanied us out of pure interest that it was the chupa cobra, haha. We didn’t find any evidence of the creature in the trailer park so we decided to cross into the woods and venture into the sandlot next to the park. None of us had ever went in there before, it was tresspassing.
So the trailer park sat on a 4 way corner, and on one side towards Lake Michigan was the sandlot, and the other side of the park was the factory that ran the sandlot. The sandlot was full of big Sandhills that were at least 20 feet tall, and a pond separated the lot from the factory. There was a trail from the entrance of the lot that curves around the hills and off into a wooded area. And in between these hills were patches of grass that were at least 4-5 feet tall.
That night we went in there our search for this creature was unsuccessful, that resident we had befriended abandoned us once he had learned of our plans to trespass, so it was just the 5 of us. We were armed with a flash light and a BB gun. We were too stupid to realize if we had an encounter we probably didn’t stand a chance. We walked around on the trail for a little bit thinking every noise and movement was the creature and we ventured maybe 20 feet into the dark woods before we decided to turn around because we were all too chicken shit to continue going further.
The crazy thing is that this sandlot was separated by about a mile long stretch of woods that lead up to the beach, and me and my buddy’s would camp in these woods at the beach a ton this summer. And on our walks back every morning I would find myself staring into these woods, scanning them for any sign of the creature, all while feeling like I was being watched.
About a week after our first search, my 3 friends and I found ourselves talking about the creature. Ryan thought the whole thing was bs, he thought my mom was insane. So we decided to venture into the sandlot once again, this time to prove him wrong. We armed ourselves with knives and the BB gun and a flashlight. We entered the lot just next to the entrance this time, I had flip flops on and decided to take them off at the entrance and leave them where we entered, hidden in the woods.
This time around we spent searching harder, we had grew more ballsy and we really wanted to see this thing. We ventured into the dark trail deeper, and eventually we found ourselves on the beach of the pond that separated the lot from the factory. It was covered in these weird footprints that had 3 long toes in the front and one long toe in the back. There were two sizes, one was about 5 to 6 inches and the other was about 2-3 inches. The whole beach was covered in them, we were too intrigued with these prints to realize that the security at the factory had spotted us tresspassing. We decided to split up, me and Bob and Ryan and Brett. We were on one side of a giant sand hill and they were on the other side. Little did any of us know, the creature was on top of the very hill that separated our small group. We heard it shriek, it was a blood curtailing cry, before we could even react it had launched itself to the ground, it stood there dead in the middle of the pass, it’s eyes pitch black, it’s body covered in white fur, it towered over us, it had to have been at least 7 feet tall, with noticeable muscle definition, arms that slunk down to its knees and long ears that resembled Momo from Avatar the last Airbender. Withen seconds it launched itself into the trees on the other side of the path.
Bob and I didn’t even have a moment to absorb what we just saw, I know we were both trembling in fear, as soon as that thing had gotten in the trees a big light hit those same woods, and the sound of talking and a running engine became clearer. We both realized it was the security guards from the factory investigating the trespassers on their property. We ran for the grass that stood 5 feet tall and laid on the ground face first. We could feel them shine their big light on us for what felt like 10 years. When the sound of the engine finally drifted away, we high tailed it out of there. I was barefoot running as fast I could through thorns and prickers, I didn’t even stop to grab my sandals.
I’m not entirely sure what we did afterwards, I’m not sure whose house we went to or what we talked about. What I do know is that we never attempted to search for that thing again, and the agonizing screams from it were never again heard by any of us. I only lived in that park for a few more weeks before I moved.
For those reading this thinking it’s a creative fictional story about a group of friends trying to fight a scary monster, it’s not. This is a recounting of a meeting with an ungodly creature, and the reason I’m sharing this is because besides Bob, Luigi and myself, I don’t know anybody that’s seen it. I don’t know what it’s capable of. I don’t know why it exists, and I’m not even sure if it’s still alive or not. So I’m posting this ultimately in search of answers, whether it be similar encounters, pictures, videos or stories. If anybody has ever heard those angry, almost painful screams, screams that no human could mimic, please tell me your story.
submitted by Dry-Violinist-4864 to creepypasta [link] [comments]
The year was 2015, I had just graduated high school and I was working my first job. I resided in a trailer park that was located just off the beach, in between the beach and my trailer park was a small forest, and in that forest was a sand factory that stored sand to sell. I had 3 close friends that lived in the neighborhood around the trailer park. Ryan, Brett, and Bob. My Step Dad worked as a cab driver, and I worked as a burger flipper, which left my mother at home alone most days. Our trailer was located right at the back of the park and only the trees separated our trailer from the sand factory field.
So the trailer we lived in was old and beat up, it had siding missing underneath it leaving it open for any animals that could possibly wonder underneath. The first time hearing this thing, it sounded as if two cats were chasing eachother full speed underneath our trailer. We could feel it from one end to the other. This was in the early days of June and we didn’t think nothing of it, being that we lived in a trailer park that was infested with stray cats.
Sometime in the middle of the month a neighbor approached my mom and advised her to get our siding fixed as she had seen an abnormally large raccoon exit from underneath our trailer in the early morning hours.
Now my mom being left alone every night began to hear noises in the trees right behind our house. She described these noises as a monkey screaming at the top of its lungs as loud as it could. She would try to explain what was going on to me when I got out of work every night but I didn’t think much of it. Until one day I heard the noises too. Neighbors started to complain their pets were coming up missing. And things started to get kind of creepy.
That’s when my mom met Luigi. Luigi was a large black man that stayed with his mom in the trailer park, I think my mom was standing outside one night smoking some weed when he walked by and they struck up a casual conversation. Then he started in on his personal experience without any prior knowledge to my mom’s experience. One night he was coming home and it was late. He seen a creature at the end of his road which he believed was a dog. This had to be at least 50 yards from him. It began to approach him. He didn’t pay it no mind, that is until it stood up. He described this creature as an all white beast that resembled a monkey, with pitch black pupils that stared in his sole. It began to run at him. He ran into his home as fast as he could and before he could shut the door this creature shoved his hand in the door blocking it from closing. Luigi is at least 6’6 250 pounds and this man was screaming for his mother. When this thing finally left his home, it stole the lid off of his garbage can.
This prompted my mother to figure out what the hell this creature was. It scared the shit out of her, and intrigued her at the very same time. It haunted her thoughts. Still to this day it does. Her beliefs as to why this creature exists and what it is haunt her as well. It traumatized her. If I wasn’t so young and naive it probably would do the same to me, I don’t live to far from where I used to live, and I still find myself shutting my doors on certain summer nights when I hear things outside that don’t sound too promising.
So following her hearing Luigi’s story and continuing to hear the creature’s scream in the evening hours, my mom began to ask around. Surprisingly, not very many of the residents had seen or heard anything, which is crazy because allot of our neighbors had spent allot of time outside.
One night my friends Brett, Ryan, Bob and I were hanging out at my house when we heard it screaming. It was already pretty dark out, but this prompted all of us, my mom included to investigate. We first walked around the trailer park. We ended up meeting one of the residents who accompanied us out of pure interest that it was the chupa cobra, haha. We didn’t find any evidence of the creature in the trailer park so we decided to cross into the woods and venture into the sandlot next to the park. None of us had ever went in there before, it was tresspassing.
So the trailer park sat on a 4 way corner, and on one side towards Lake Michigan was the sandlot, and the other side of the park was the factory that ran the sandlot. The sandlot was full of big Sandhills that were at least 20 feet tall, and a pond separated the lot from the factory. There was a trail from the entrance of the lot that curves around the hills and off into a wooded area. And in between these hills were patches of grass that were at least 4-5 feet tall.
That night we went in there our search for this creature was unsuccessful, that resident we had befriended abandoned us once he had learned of our plans to trespass, so it was just the 5 of us. We were armed with a flash light and a BB gun. We were too stupid to realize if we had an encounter we probably didn’t stand a chance. We walked around on the trail for a little bit thinking every noise and movement was the creature and we ventured maybe 20 feet into the dark woods before we decided to turn around because we were all too chicken shit to continue going further.
The crazy thing is that this sandlot was separated by about a mile long stretch of woods that lead up to the beach, and me and my buddy’s would camp in these woods at the beach a ton this summer. And on our walks back every morning I would find myself staring into these woods, scanning them for any sign of the creature, all while feeling like I was being watched.
About a week after our first search, my 3 friends and I found ourselves talking about the creature. Ryan thought the whole thing was bs, he thought my mom was insane. So we decided to venture into the sandlot once again, this time to prove him wrong. We armed ourselves with knives and the BB gun and a flashlight. We entered the lot just next to the entrance this time, I had flip flops on and decided to take them off at the entrance and leave them where we entered, hidden in the woods.
This time around we spent searching harder, we had grew more ballsy and we really wanted to see this thing. We ventured into the dark trail deeper, and eventually we found ourselves on the beach of the pond that separated the lot from the factory. It was covered in these weird footprints that had 3 long toes in the front and one long toe in the back. There were two sizes, one was about 5 to 6 inches and the other was about 2-3 inches. The whole beach was covered in them, we were too intrigued with these prints to realize that the security at the factory had spotted us tresspassing. We decided to split up, me and Bob and Ryan and Brett. We were on one side of a giant sand hill and they were on the other side. Little did any of us know, the creature was on top of the very hill that separated our small group. We heard it shriek, it was a blood curtailing cry, before we could even react it had launched itself to the ground, it stood there dead in the middle of the pass, it’s eyes pitch black, it’s body covered in white fur, it towered over us, it had to have been at least 7 feet tall, with noticeable muscle definition, arms that slunk down to its knees and long ears that resembled Momo from Avatar the last Airbender. Withen seconds it launched itself into the trees on the other side of the path.
Bob and I didn’t even have a moment to absorb what we just saw, I know we were both trembling in fear, as soon as that thing had gotten in the trees a big light hit those same woods, and the sound of talking and a running engine became clearer. We both realized it was the security guards from the factory investigating the trespassers on their property. We ran for the grass that stood 5 feet tall and laid on the ground face first. We could feel them shine their big light on us for what felt like 10 years. When the sound of the engine finally drifted away, we high tailed it out of there. I was barefoot running as fast I could through thorns and prickers, I didn’t even stop to grab my sandals.
I’m not entirely sure what we did afterwards, I’m not sure whose house we went to or what we talked about. What I do know is that we never attempted to search for that thing again, and the agonizing screams from it were never again heard by any of us. I only lived in that park for a few more weeks before I moved.
For those reading this thinking it’s a creative fictional story about a group of friends trying to fight a scary monster, it’s not. This is a recounting of a meeting with an ungodly creature, and the reason I’m sharing this is because besides Bob, Luigi and myself, I don’t know anybody that’s seen it. I don’t know what it’s capable of. I don’t know why it exists, and I’m not even sure if it’s still alive or not. So I’m posting this ultimately in search of answers, whether it be similar encounters, pictures, videos or stories. If anybody has ever heard those angry, almost painful screams, screams that no human could mimic, please tell me your story.
2024.05.29 04:40 FallGuy1602 My first night out drinking!!
 | This is the story of my first night out lol before I start I wasnt fully out at this point, even now I've gotten far more confident but I still have not gotten over coming out at work... it feels silly still having to mask at work but whatever that's another rant aha this one is about the time I literally had to face every single one of my fears! It was my first night out at a bar as April! submitted by FallGuy1602 to trans [link] [comments] It was a trans friendly night at a dingy bar right downtown and i got talked into coming along by a friend I met at a kink positive group aha. She was greaaat but she was intense!! And I was terrified.. I walked in and I realized I had to show the bouncer my ID... shit... in my ID I have a beard... kinda a big one... it was years old and I immediately panic... the big bald tattood dude looks at the ID... looks at my dolled up face shrugs and let's me in... at this point I wanted to bail so bad. I think the only reason I stayed is because the dude had my ID lol... anyways I make it in... well actually I think it was more people were coming down the street and I didnt wanna be perceived so I ran inside aha First dude I see in like this dark dingy lighting looks like someone I knew. A friend I cowrote a paper with in grad school and I go all white... like fuck fuvk fyvk fuvkkkk I rush to the bathroom and break down crying aha... before I realized I was in a stall in the womens bathroom... I've literally never been in a womens bathroom ever... girls were doing their make up and chatting outside my stall and I froze and couldn't get myself to leave... I've been told by many at this point that I was really passable but still the thought of someone calling me out made me wanna cry and I did and I called an uber and when it got quiet in the bathroom i ran out the back and went home... I had a full blown panic attack.... even the uber was a mistake a aha bc I realized my picture on the app had me as a guy too and the guy didnt believe me till he spun around and got a good look at me lol fun... anyways I'm home now crying... I felt so so stipid... but i also worked reallly reallly reallly realllllly hard on my outfit aha so I wanted to salvage the night. I took a chance i figured if my friend saw me all dressed up he'd say something right... so I called him. I said he buddy I'm over at ---- come grab a drink and he says hey buddy no I'm at home with a broken arm so maybe another time. I let out suuuuch a deep sigh. Even he was like are you alright buddy... and I tried to recover and say yea sorryy not related aha I dont think I did but he didnt bring it up so I let it go. I eventually said fuck this and booked an old school cab back to the bar like I did the first time and walked back in and ordered like 3 shots immediately! My friend sees me and shes so so excited and I go on to meet the coolest people ever!!!!!!! Turns out the guy i thought was my friend was I'm fact a trans man with a glorious beard aha and i felt so so stupid. I even chatted with some new friends in the womens bathroom about the whole ordeal earlier and it kinda felt natural. Everyone was so nice and inviting and I had a great time!!! Oh by the way I sang Tennessee whiskey and nailed it aha and even had my new friends walk me home 😊 Moral of the story... make up is too fuvking expensive to waste aha take a shot and go make some new friends |
2024.05.29 03:14 redlight886 February 1998 PLAYBOY Interview with Conan O'Brien [additional content]
PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
submitted by redlight886 to conan [link] [comments]
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
2024.05.29 00:41 pythree_ Full Song & Album Rankings from a (Sort-Of) Fan
Hey everyone, this is my first time posting here. I used to be an avid twenty one pilots fan from around 2016-2019. I kept up with the lore, went to shows, followed fan pages, you name it. As I got older and my music taste changed, I quit listening as actively (though I still passively kept up with the band and listened to any new releases). After listening to Clancy last week, I was a little underwhelmed, so I decided to go back and listen to the entire twenty one pilots discography and rank each song to see how the older stuff compared.
Some things to keep in mind:
Feel free to comment if you want to know why I ranked a song in a specific spot, or if you just want to tell me how wrong I am. Music is subjective, and I'd love to know what songs other people are drawn to. I've spent the last few days working on this, and while I really enjoyed diving back into one of my favorite bands from high school, I'm excited to listen to some other music again.
submitted by pythree_ to twentyonepilots [link] [comments]
Some things to keep in mind:
- I'm mostly ranking songs based on the lyrics and how they sound. I understand how important the lore is, and if the lore adds something to the song I will give it credit (i.e. Bandito). But songs that are mostly just exposition dumps (i.e. Nico and the Niners) may not rank as highly as many fans would expect. I also tried to ignore the popularity of the mainstream songs like Stressed Out and give them a fair shot.
- I did my best to place each song within the context of the band's history. Obviously, the more recent stuff is going to sound better than stuff from twenty one pilots or Regional at Best. But I tried to be more lenient with the older material and hold the newer songs to a higher standard.
- I listened to every song on the six studio releases; Regional at Best (including Two and House of Gold); the Japan-only re-release of Lovely; and the four singles Heathens, Level of Concern, Christmas Saves the Year, and The Craving (Single Version). I did not include any of the covers because I wanted to emphasize the songwriting as well. For the songs that appear on both Regional at Best and Vessel, I ranked both versions.
- For context, some of the artists I listen to now include The Backseat Lovers, Peach Pit, Her's, The Beths, and The Strokes. Just in case you were curious how my music taste has evolved.
- Neon Gravestones
- Car Radio (Vessel)
- Levitate
- Car Radio (Regional at Best)
- Migraine
- Goner
- Two
- Morph
- Guns for Hands (Vessel)
- Heavydirtysoul
- Guns for Hands (Regional at Best)
- Truce
- Taxi Cab
- Hometown
- Addict With a Pen
- Holding On To You (Vessel)
- Ode to Sleep (Vessel)
- The Outside
- My Blood
- Leave the City
- Jumpsuit
- Holding On To You (Regional at Best)
- Lane Boy
- Choker
- Before You Start Your Day
- Chlorine
- Next Semester
- Navigating
- Snap Back
- Glowing Eyes
- Paladin Strait
- We Don’t Believe What’s On TV
- Overcompensate
- Trees (Vessel)
- Fake You Out
- Anathema
- Bandito
- The Craving (Jenna’s version)
- Shy Away
- House of Gold (Vessel)
- The Judge
- Stressed Out
- Redecorate
- Fall Away
- Backslide
- Lovely (Vessel)
- Pet Cheetah
- Polarize
- Good Day
- Implicit Demand for Proof
- The Hype
- Kitchen Sink
- Legend
- Not Today
- Oh Ms. Believer
- Mulberry Street
- Slowtown
- Heathens
- The Run and Go
- Lavish
- Never Take It
- The Craving (Single Version)
- Ode to Sleep (Regional at Best)
- Tear In My Heart
- No Chances
- Message Man
- Screen
- Semi-Automatic
- Christmas Saves the Year
- House of Gold (Regional at Best)
- Formidable
- Smithereens
- Saturday
- Routines In The Night
- Midwest Indigo
- Ride
- The Pantaloon
- At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb
- Forest
- Friend, Please
- Isle of Flightless Birds
- Clear
- Oldies Station
- Doubt
- Cut My Lip
- Lovely (Regional at Best)
- Nico and the Niners
- Ruby
- Trapdoor
- Vignette
- Bounce Man
- Fairly Local
- Johnny Boy
- Air Catcher
- Be Concerned
- Trees (Regional at Best)
- March to the Sea
- A Car, A Torch, A Death
- Level of Concern
- Vessel
- Trench
- Blurryface
- Clancy
- Scaled and Icy
- Regional at Best
- twenty one pilots
Feel free to comment if you want to know why I ranked a song in a specific spot, or if you just want to tell me how wrong I am. Music is subjective, and I'd love to know what songs other people are drawn to. I've spent the last few days working on this, and while I really enjoyed diving back into one of my favorite bands from high school, I'm excited to listen to some other music again.
2024.05.29 00:25 whateverandok How can I add this mileage radius list drop down in experience builder?
 | I’m working on an experience builder and I have the map, near me widget configured, search set up, etc. submitted by whateverandok to gis [link] [comments] I’m trying to figure out how to add a similar dropdown like the one pictured. I want my users to be able to set their “radius”. Thank you. |
2024.05.28 22:21 aliha- I hate my family
I hate my dad. I hate how he thinks he's the smartest person in the world while being the dumbest most stupid person on this planet. his entire life revolves around this disgusting ugly religion made by a 7th century pedophile. how fuckingn stupid do you have to be to actually idolize such a disgusting man? why can my dad not be normal like wtf, if I'm reading a novel and I tell him about it he's upset cause I don't read the quran. if I'm watching a show or movie he's upset about it cause I'm not watching a sheikh yap about pedophilia. I don't talk to that man anymore but it still hurts cause now I don't have a dad to talk to cause he's crazy and insane and dumb and hateful. my mom isn't much better cause I can't talk to her about anything as she's always mad and scared of hell or something. she's a crazy lowlife. she never let's me go out and when I came home late from school a few months ago (ONE hour late) she had called me over 20 times and already had called the cops to report me missing (???) IM 17. like, why am I not allowed to breathe some fresh air? it's exhausting having a woman like her as my mother. I've had to change my phone password several times cause she just kept unlocking my phone to see my whatsapp messages, even though I kept telling her not to.
I genuinely just hate this family. I hate my life and the person I have become. I don't even care about the future anymore cause I don't have a family there to support me. nothing matters anymore, I'm failing in school and I'm probably just gonna drop out this year. looking back at when I first left islam at 14 I promised myself to do well in school so thst I cab leave but I messed up everyhting. I can't stop crying and idk what to do with my lifr
submitted by aliha- to exmuslim [link] [comments]
I genuinely just hate this family. I hate my life and the person I have become. I don't even care about the future anymore cause I don't have a family there to support me. nothing matters anymore, I'm failing in school and I'm probably just gonna drop out this year. looking back at when I first left islam at 14 I promised myself to do well in school so thst I cab leave but I messed up everyhting. I can't stop crying and idk what to do with my lifr
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- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
- I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
- I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
- I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
- I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
- 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
- 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
- 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
- I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
- I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
- I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
- If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
- I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
- Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
2024.05.28 21:39 ccna_cisco Principal Component Analysis (PCA) Helper for Online Help Reddit Pay someone to do my PCA Exam Test reddit Pay someone to take my PCA Course class reddit Take my PCA Homework Assignment reddit Online course takers for Hire Reddit Class Taker for Hire Reddit Online PCA Assignment Reddit
If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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submitted by ccna_cisco to Statisticshelpers_ [link] [comments]
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
- Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
- AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
- AP Statistics
- Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
- College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
- Business Calculus
- Business Statistics
- Business Math
- Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
- Geometry
- International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
- Liberal Arts Math
- Logic & Reasoning
- Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
- Precalculus Pre-calculus
- Probability & Statistics
- Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
- Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
- Statistics (Stats)
- Statistics for Social Sciences
- Trigonometry (Trig)
- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
- I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
- I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
- I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
- I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
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2024.05.28 14:26 lemonwtea Query regarding Driving License (Learner's)
A little backstory - I'm learning how to drive because I work in Delhi and I just cannot afford cabs anymore. Also promised my dad I'll learn how to drive before 30. It's his first year death anniversary in a week and I turned 30 last week so quickly enrolled myself in a driving school so as to keep my promise.
Coming to the issue now - I was stopped by a traffic policeman today who 'informed' the driving teacher-dude next to me (and indirectly me) that a learner's license is required for one to even drive the driving school cars.
Now I've no pt of reference to challenge it or refute him. Sufficiently anxious, I went back home and looked it up and it says apparently one does need a LL to drive those driving school cars. A popular driving school website says to its customers to get the LL before 'joining them'.
This is my fourth time learning how to drive and I don't want to give up midway. Can somebody confirm if this is true?
I've already applied for the LL - paid the fee, submitted the signature and photos. The only remaining part is booking a slot and since noon, I've been trying but there's an error there. It says not 'Due to some technical error slot booking not allowed' and attached to that message is a reference number. I'll keep trying.
However, the query is - is a LL required for me to even learn from a driving school?
submitted by lemonwtea to gurgaon [link] [comments]
Coming to the issue now - I was stopped by a traffic policeman today who 'informed' the driving teacher-dude next to me (and indirectly me) that a learner's license is required for one to even drive the driving school cars.
Now I've no pt of reference to challenge it or refute him. Sufficiently anxious, I went back home and looked it up and it says apparently one does need a LL to drive those driving school cars. A popular driving school website says to its customers to get the LL before 'joining them'.
This is my fourth time learning how to drive and I don't want to give up midway. Can somebody confirm if this is true?
I've already applied for the LL - paid the fee, submitted the signature and photos. The only remaining part is booking a slot and since noon, I've been trying but there's an error there. It says not 'Due to some technical error slot booking not allowed' and attached to that message is a reference number. I'll keep trying.
However, the query is - is a LL required for me to even learn from a driving school?
2024.05.28 08:21 paeoniesx Are T20s still in question for me?
I am a junior (well i guess incoming senior now! time's flying by fast) with 9 APs, and a prospective 34 ACT score (i threw on sat w like a 1450 so grinding act)
My intended major is the social sciences (psych, soci, cogsci, child dev) but I'm getting a little worried as that major is becoming popular
My ecs are class cab (3yrs), debate president, science club secretary, music club for low income students founder (2k saved or so), teaching english in taiwan, teaching tennis as a job to young children, part of a mental health organization, captain of varsity girls tennis, school concertmaster (prospect 4 yrs)
The thing I'm worried abt is my gpa is like 3.8 unweighted (i hope i can boost it at least 0.05 senior year) and that's pretty scary because I've been hearing colleges disregard ecs (well not the insane ones but mine aren't insane) if ur gpa isn't good
extra info:
submitted by paeoniesx to chanceme [link] [comments]
My intended major is the social sciences (psych, soci, cogsci, child dev) but I'm getting a little worried as that major is becoming popular
My ecs are class cab (3yrs), debate president, science club secretary, music club for low income students founder (2k saved or so), teaching english in taiwan, teaching tennis as a job to young children, part of a mental health organization, captain of varsity girls tennis, school concertmaster (prospect 4 yrs)
The thing I'm worried abt is my gpa is like 3.8 unweighted (i hope i can boost it at least 0.05 senior year) and that's pretty scary because I've been hearing colleges disregard ecs (well not the insane ones but mine aren't insane) if ur gpa isn't good
extra info:
- i think i have one strong essay option and my letter of recs are both from teachers i have a good relationship with
- i tried to do research paper stuff but nobody responded back :,)
- the Bs i have were from ap classes..... oopsies!
2024.05.28 07:01 SharkEva AITAH For telling my husband that his affair child is not welcome in our home and if he wants custody he will have to move out?
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Icy-Frame-666 posting in AITAH
Ongoing as per OOP
Mood spoiler - mildly infuriating
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd April 2024
Update - 25th May 2024
AITAH For telling my husband that his affair child is not welcome in our home and if he wants custody he will have to move out?
My husband and I have been married for 9 years. In 2021, we found out my husband was being sued for child support.
Turns out my husband had an affair shortly after we were married. It nearly ended our marriage, but we went to counseling together and I agreed to stay in the marriage with the following provisions:
My husband was to get a second job so that his child support payments did not affect our household budget and that at no point in time would I ever consider having a relationship with this child. If he wanted to pursue one with them, fine. But I have absolutely zero interest in this kid.
So my husband has been getting to know his kid over the past couple years and recently my husband came to me and informed me that there was some sort of baby mamma drama. Apparently, she has to self-surrender in May and is going to be incarcerated for 8 months.
My husband told me that he needed to take custody while his affair partner is locked up, otherwise the kid would have to go to their grandparents who basically live on the opposite coast from us. Their kid doesn't want to have to change schools or be so far away from their friends, dad and mom (she will be doing her time fairly local to us).
So, after my husband told me that, I got up and left the house. I went to the grocery store on the corner and grabbed a copy of our area's apartment guide went back home and handed it to him.
He asked if I were serious. I told him I still felt the same way as I did 3 years ago. He said he didn't think that was fair considering the extenuating circumstances.
I told him I don't care about the circumstances. His kid is not welcome in my home, if he wanted to take custody I will grant him an amicable divorce, but I am not changing my mind. I am not taking care of some other chick's kid.'
EDIT - For all the people concerned about what a whip cracker I am in making my poor husband work 2 jobs... He has never had a fulltime job since we have been together. He works 2 part time retail jobs now that add up to 40-50 hours a week.
He currently only has supervised visitation with his kid. The see each other once or twice a month for a couple hours with a social worker present.
And for those who seem to think that I need to be the one to file for divorce. No. I will not. I am not the one who created this situation. If my husband wants to pursue custody, I have told him I will not fight it. I will grant him an amicable divorce and let him be on his way.
However, I am not going to waste my own time, energy, and money to do so! He is responsible for getting his own ducks in a row for the situation he created. That includes being the one to go through the headache of filing.
Comments
Major-Distance4270
This marriage should have ended years ago.
VerbalGuinea
The counselor is too good at his job.
donalddick123
You ever get in a cab and they take you the longest way because they get paid more the farther they go?
ms_eleventy
The child will always be there. Seems like you should cut your losses and move on from this relationship. Sad but you will probably but happier in the long-run.
shyladev
What’s your reasoning for staying with your husband at this point though?
ZiaMituna
OP did not mention if they have kids but it doesn’t sound like they do. If she asked her husband to get a second job to support his affair child, he won’t have any time or energy to spend any quality time with her (and their kids). Then why keep a husband like that around? The child will be a hard wedge between the two forever. OP, divorce his ass and move on with your life.
karlmarx961
Imma keep asking cause whether your the AH doesn't matter at this point. Why do you refuse to initiate divorce? Why does he, in specific, have to do that?
Update - 1 month later
After posting, my husband and I continued to discuss the situation. I held firm and iterated again I will not live with a child and if my husband wants to pursue this, he will have to find other housing
We discussed divorce. We discussed temporarily separating. We discussed a lot. We sat down and had a pretty big financial talk (he is not involved in our financial planning) I showed him the numbers he realistically had to work with.
I told my husband the truth, that while I love him, I won't lose sleep if we divorce. He has to do what's right for his own happiness and his kid.
My husband had a bit of a breakdown over that. There was a lot of crying and him telling me that he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I broke down myself. We had a real good cry together. He asked if we could go back to our marriage counselor.
So, I made an appointment. We went. We discussed the same things above but with a counselor present.
It basically boils down to my husband being very overwhelmed and conflicted about everything. He confessed he didn't really want to be an active parent but feels like he is supposed to (there's some deep stuff in there about his own family and race tied into that. So complicated emotions). He is terrified of losing me. He wants to prioritize our marriage. Hearing me say that I wouldn't lose sleep over divorcing left him shook.
Our counselor strongly suggested that my husband get into individual therapy and gave some referrals. My husband has not pursued that.
It did become pretty obvious to my husband that he was not in a place mentally or financially where he could take full custody though. So the kid is now in Virginia with maternal grandparents.
My husband was actually going to go and visit the kid for their birthday this weekend. I gifted my husband some of my airline miles to buy his plane ticket. I did his laundry last night while he was at work so he'd have clean stuff to pack.
However, my husband dropped the ball on his trip. I had a plans for this afternoon that I left early for so I wasn't home when he was supposed to get up and leave. He stayed up late playing video games last night and overslept. Ended up missing his flight and couldn't afford last minute tickets on another. He's in a pissy mood and is playing elder scrolls now trying to get his mind off of it.
I've got my sister and some friends coming over in a few for a salsa canning party in a bit so I'm hoping he gets into a good grove with his game because I am going to have so much margarita.
Comments
angrymom284710394855
OP. Wisdom is chasing after you, but you’re clearly way too fast.
CanofBeans9
I'm going to save this saying in my memory for later use
RaymondBeaumont
he cheated on you
he has never had a full time job
he can't adult
why are you married to him, again?
MonteBurns
Her reasoning in the original post is so pathetic.
Common_Vagrant
Wait what was her reasoning? She said she loved him but is that her reason?
Sunset-Papi
She said she wouldn't file because she wasn't the one who created the mess
EQ4AllOfUs
You did his laundry and gifted him air miles. He stayed up late playing video games and missed his flight. He’s upset so he’s playing a video game to take his mind off of the situation. I think he derailed his trip on purpose.
NoeTellusom
Right? This guy is an adulterous loser. Why the hell she's sticking around is literally beyond all sense.
PrideofCapetown
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
Ongoing as per OOP
Mood spoiler - mildly infuriating
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd April 2024
Update - 25th May 2024
AITAH For telling my husband that his affair child is not welcome in our home and if he wants custody he will have to move out?
My husband and I have been married for 9 years. In 2021, we found out my husband was being sued for child support.
Turns out my husband had an affair shortly after we were married. It nearly ended our marriage, but we went to counseling together and I agreed to stay in the marriage with the following provisions:
My husband was to get a second job so that his child support payments did not affect our household budget and that at no point in time would I ever consider having a relationship with this child. If he wanted to pursue one with them, fine. But I have absolutely zero interest in this kid.
So my husband has been getting to know his kid over the past couple years and recently my husband came to me and informed me that there was some sort of baby mamma drama. Apparently, she has to self-surrender in May and is going to be incarcerated for 8 months.
My husband told me that he needed to take custody while his affair partner is locked up, otherwise the kid would have to go to their grandparents who basically live on the opposite coast from us. Their kid doesn't want to have to change schools or be so far away from their friends, dad and mom (she will be doing her time fairly local to us).
So, after my husband told me that, I got up and left the house. I went to the grocery store on the corner and grabbed a copy of our area's apartment guide went back home and handed it to him.
He asked if I were serious. I told him I still felt the same way as I did 3 years ago. He said he didn't think that was fair considering the extenuating circumstances.
I told him I don't care about the circumstances. His kid is not welcome in my home, if he wanted to take custody I will grant him an amicable divorce, but I am not changing my mind. I am not taking care of some other chick's kid.'
EDIT - For all the people concerned about what a whip cracker I am in making my poor husband work 2 jobs... He has never had a fulltime job since we have been together. He works 2 part time retail jobs now that add up to 40-50 hours a week.
He currently only has supervised visitation with his kid. The see each other once or twice a month for a couple hours with a social worker present.
And for those who seem to think that I need to be the one to file for divorce. No. I will not. I am not the one who created this situation. If my husband wants to pursue custody, I have told him I will not fight it. I will grant him an amicable divorce and let him be on his way.
However, I am not going to waste my own time, energy, and money to do so! He is responsible for getting his own ducks in a row for the situation he created. That includes being the one to go through the headache of filing.
Comments
Major-Distance4270
This marriage should have ended years ago.
VerbalGuinea
The counselor is too good at his job.
donalddick123
You ever get in a cab and they take you the longest way because they get paid more the farther they go?
ms_eleventy
The child will always be there. Seems like you should cut your losses and move on from this relationship. Sad but you will probably but happier in the long-run.
shyladev
What’s your reasoning for staying with your husband at this point though?
OOP: Love and companionship. The affair and my boundaires about his affair child aside, we actually really do love each other.
ZiaMituna
OP did not mention if they have kids but it doesn’t sound like they do. If she asked her husband to get a second job to support his affair child, he won’t have any time or energy to spend any quality time with her (and their kids). Then why keep a husband like that around? The child will be a hard wedge between the two forever. OP, divorce his ass and move on with your life.
OOP: My husband was not working full time hours when I requested he take on a second job.
He now has 2 part time jobs that equal to full time hours. I work full time and generally more hours than him per week.
Our time together has not been diminished by his working 2 jobs. His online gaming time was the only casualty there.
karlmarx961
Imma keep asking cause whether your the AH doesn't matter at this point. Why do you refuse to initiate divorce? Why does he, in specific, have to do that?
OOP: Because I am not going to solve another one of the problems he created.
He knows my boundaries and requirements for him to stay here. He either agrees with them or he doesn't.
If he doesn't he is the one who is responsible for getting all his ducks in a row.
I won't fight the issue, I won't make things difficult for him.
But the fuck if I am going out of my way, and spending my time and energy to make it easy for him.
Update - 1 month later
After posting, my husband and I continued to discuss the situation. I held firm and iterated again I will not live with a child and if my husband wants to pursue this, he will have to find other housing
We discussed divorce. We discussed temporarily separating. We discussed a lot. We sat down and had a pretty big financial talk (he is not involved in our financial planning) I showed him the numbers he realistically had to work with.
I told my husband the truth, that while I love him, I won't lose sleep if we divorce. He has to do what's right for his own happiness and his kid.
My husband had a bit of a breakdown over that. There was a lot of crying and him telling me that he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I broke down myself. We had a real good cry together. He asked if we could go back to our marriage counselor.
So, I made an appointment. We went. We discussed the same things above but with a counselor present.
It basically boils down to my husband being very overwhelmed and conflicted about everything. He confessed he didn't really want to be an active parent but feels like he is supposed to (there's some deep stuff in there about his own family and race tied into that. So complicated emotions). He is terrified of losing me. He wants to prioritize our marriage. Hearing me say that I wouldn't lose sleep over divorcing left him shook.
Our counselor strongly suggested that my husband get into individual therapy and gave some referrals. My husband has not pursued that.
It did become pretty obvious to my husband that he was not in a place mentally or financially where he could take full custody though. So the kid is now in Virginia with maternal grandparents.
My husband was actually going to go and visit the kid for their birthday this weekend. I gifted my husband some of my airline miles to buy his plane ticket. I did his laundry last night while he was at work so he'd have clean stuff to pack.
However, my husband dropped the ball on his trip. I had a plans for this afternoon that I left early for so I wasn't home when he was supposed to get up and leave. He stayed up late playing video games last night and overslept. Ended up missing his flight and couldn't afford last minute tickets on another. He's in a pissy mood and is playing elder scrolls now trying to get his mind off of it.
I've got my sister and some friends coming over in a few for a salsa canning party in a bit so I'm hoping he gets into a good grove with his game because I am going to have so much margarita.
Comments
angrymom284710394855
OP. Wisdom is chasing after you, but you’re clearly way too fast.
CanofBeans9
I'm going to save this saying in my memory for later use
RaymondBeaumont
he cheated on you
he has never had a full time job
he can't adult
why are you married to him, again?
MonteBurns
Her reasoning in the original post is so pathetic.
Common_Vagrant
Wait what was her reasoning? She said she loved him but is that her reason?
Sunset-Papi
She said she wouldn't file because she wasn't the one who created the mess
EQ4AllOfUs
You did his laundry and gifted him air miles. He stayed up late playing video games and missed his flight. He’s upset so he’s playing a video game to take his mind off of the situation. I think he derailed his trip on purpose.
NoeTellusom
Right? This guy is an adulterous loser. Why the hell she's sticking around is literally beyond all sense.
PrideofCapetown
”He confessed he didn't really want to be an active parent”Perhaps he should have thought about that before shoving his peepee into someone who isn’t his wife? Honestly, what does OP see in this manbaby?
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
2024.05.27 23:05 mrbrendanblack More trucks on roads feared as long-promised freight hub in Melbourne’s west put on ice
 | A long-promised freight hub for Melbourne’s west has been deferred indefinitely, prompting fears hundreds of trucks will be added to local roads despite years of campaigning from councils, industry and even Premier Jacinta Allan – who once declared that it must be the “first cab off the rank”.’ submitted by mrbrendanblack to melbourne [link] [comments] The state government told industry earlier this month that the Western Interstate Freight Terminal (WIFT), which was first proposed in 2018 and recommended as an urgent priority since 2021, will be “deferred until it is needed”. The former Morrison government’s choice of the Beveridge Intermodal Freight Terminal, in Melbourne’s north, will be prioritised instead. Victoria has already spent $400 million on compensation for landowners in the path of the proposed Outer Metropolitan Ring Road, which it is hoped will one day connect the now-delayed western freight terminal by car and train. The delay is a significant change of plan for the state government, which has for years fought for the Truganina site to be delivered before or at the same time as Beveridge, clashing with the Morrison government over the issue. It is the latest Victorian project to face serious or indefinite delays, with Airport Rail and school upgrades put on hold as the budget grapples with the highest debt-to-revenue ratio in the nation and taxpayers face a $25 million-a-day interest bill by 2027. The WIFT received $740 million in Commonwealth funding in the budget delivered before the 2022 federal election, compared to $1.62 billion for the Beveridge option. When that funding was announced, Allan, in her former role as transport infrastructure minister, said Melbourne’s west needed the facility immediately and it had to be the “first cab off the rank”. “The Victorian government made it very clear, and has made it very clear on a number of occasions, that our priority for the establishment of an intermodal freight terminal for our city and state is in the western suburbs of Melbourne,” Allan said in 2022. “There’s a very good logical reason for this. It’s because the western suburbs of Melbourne is the heart of Australia’s freight and logistics industry.” But the government this month updated a website to confirm the push to deliver Truganina first had been abandoned. It said “things have changed” since 2021 because the Commonwealth was pushing ahead with the Beveridge site following a review of the Inland Rail project, while private freight projects were also under way to provide “sufficient capacity” for container volumes over the medium term. “While the WIFT remains a priority for the Victorian government, its delivery will be deferred until when it’s needed,” it said. “The government will now look at protecting land at Truganina for WIFT. This process may also help unlock land not required for WIFT for industrial development in the short term.” Planning for both hubs has been under way since 2018. Victoria’s freight strategy argues both will be needed to handle long double-stacked trains that will travel the country along the national Inland Rail corridor. That document said Truganina should be developed first and was the best location given it was near 50 per cent of existing interstate freight rail customers. LeadWest, an alliance of five councils in Melbourne’s western suburbs, said the project was supported by the supply chain and logistics industry, and it believed it would be the catalyst for enough investment to create 28,000 jobs in the region. “LeadWest is also concerned about the impact on the roads in Melbourne’s west, given there may be an additional 400-plus trucks daily on our roads, including the Western Ring Road that is already at capacity,” group chair and Melton councillor Sophie Ramsey said. Peter Anderson, chief executive of the Victorian Transport Association, said he was disappointed by the decision because the western site was closer to the Port of Melbourne and the customers the rail line would serve. “Containerised freight goes into warehouses … Those warehouses are in Truganina and Laverton, where the WIFT is,” he said. Anderson said he had road safety concerns because Inland Rail would deliver goods to Melbourne’s north quickly, but trucks moving to the west would regularly create kilometres-long queues on key corridors. “It is going to cost a lot of money to get from Beveridge to Footscray and a lot of money to come back, and it’s going to have to be done 10,000 times a day.” A spokesperson for federal Transport Minister Catherine King said the independent review of Inland Rail recommended two terminals in Victoria, but also called for the northern site to be prioritised. “The Albanese government supports this approach and is working with the Victorian government to settle funding and delivery arrangements,” they said. The federal government has committed $61.8 million for planning work around investment in the WIFT and southern section of rail along the proposed Outer Metropolitan Ring Road. The existing $740 million commitment to the project remains. A Victorian government spokesperson said the Commonwealth’s prioritisation of Beveridge and private ingest meant “thee additional capacity the Western Interstate Freight Terminal (WIFT) would provide is not needed in the short term”. “The Western Interstate Freight Terminal remains important, but its delivery will be deferred until additional terminal capacity is needed,” they said. The Allan government has also extended interstate rail freight operations at South Dynon, which is leased by Pacific National and due to expire by 2031, by another 20 years. A spokesperson for the company did not say whether this decision affected its proposal to deliver its own freight hub at Little River, a private sector alternative that could service the west but has raised environmental concerns. “We will continue to work with the state government to ensure intermodal rail freight operations in Victoria are secure and support the delivery of a terminal solution in Melbourne’s west so we can continue to deliver what matters for our customers,” the spokesperson said. Wyndham City deputy mayor Josh Gilligan said Pacific National and the state government needed to work together to prioritise Truganina over Little River with “clear and upfront timelines”. “The state can’t renege on their own expert planning and freight advice, including their freight plan, by quietly walking away from Truganina, which contains nearly a majority of Victoria’s interstate freight customers,” he said. Opposition ports and freight spokeswoman Roma Britnell said the WIFT had been delayed because of the government’s financial management. “Both the [Beveridge freight terminal] and WIFT are critical to the future of Victoria’s freight system, and both these projects should be proceeding,” she said. Liberal Northern Metropolitan MP Evan Mulholland said the state was being “dragged kicking and screaming to back the Beveridge project and is only supporting this critical project now due to the federal Labor government adopting the former Liberal Coalition government’s policy”. A key feature of the Truganina site was that it would one day connect to the Outer Metropolitan Ring Road, a proposed 100-kilometre road and rail link from Werribee and Melton to Craigieburn, Epping and Thomastown. A business case for the project is being developed. The Victorian government has put an overlay on the land where this corridor is expected to be built, meaning landowners who sell their properties in this area can be entitled to compensation. Since 2018-19, 42 claims have been lodged and the government has paid out $400 million in compensation. The biggest years for payouts were 2019-20 and 2020-21, when $118 million and $155 million in claims were paid out. |
2024.05.27 23:04 mrbrendanblack More trucks on roads feared as long-promised freight hub in Melbourne’s west put on ice
| | A long-promised freight hub for Melbourne’s west has been deferred indefinitely, prompting fears hundreds of trucks will be added to local roads despite years of campaigning from councils, industry and even Premier Jacinta Allan – who once declared that it must be the “first cab off the rank”.’ submitted by mrbrendanblack to MelbourneTrains [link] [comments] The state government told industry earlier this month that the Western Interstate Freight Terminal (WIFT), which was first proposed in 2018 and recommended as an urgent priority since 2021, will be “deferred until it is needed”. The former Morrison government’s choice of the Beveridge Intermodal Freight Terminal, in Melbourne’s north, will be prioritised instead. Victoria has already spent $400 million on compensation for landowners in the path of the proposed Outer Metropolitan Ring Road, which it is hoped will one day connect the now-delayed western freight terminal by car and train. The delay is a significant change of plan for the state government, which has for years fought for the Truganina site to be delivered before or at the same time as Beveridge, clashing with the Morrison government over the issue. It is the latest Victorian project to face serious or indefinite delays, with Airport Rail and school upgrades put on hold as the budget grapples with the highest debt-to-revenue ratio in the nation and taxpayers face a $25 million-a-day interest bill by 2027. The WIFT received $740 million in Commonwealth funding in the budget delivered before the 2022 federal election, compared to $1.62 billion for the Beveridge option. When that funding was announced, Allan, in her former role as transport infrastructure minister, said Melbourne’s west needed the facility immediately and it had to be the “first cab off the rank”. “The Victorian government made it very clear, and has made it very clear on a number of occasions, that our priority for the establishment of an intermodal freight terminal for our city and state is in the western suburbs of Melbourne,” Allan said in 2022. “There’s a very good logical reason for this. It’s because the western suburbs of Melbourne is the heart of Australia’s freight and logistics industry.” But the government this month updated a website to confirm the push to deliver Truganina first had been abandoned. It said “things have changed” since 2021 because the Commonwealth was pushing ahead with the Beveridge site following a review of the Inland Rail project, while private freight projects were also under way to provide “sufficient capacity” for container volumes over the medium term. “While the WIFT remains a priority for the Victorian government, its delivery will be deferred until when it’s needed,” it said. “The government will now look at protecting land at Truganina for WIFT. This process may also help unlock land not required for WIFT for industrial development in the short term.” Planning for both hubs has been under way since 2018. Victoria’s freight strategy argues both will be needed to handle long double-stacked trains that will travel the country along the national Inland Rail corridor. That document said Truganina should be developed first and was the best location given it was near 50 per cent of existing interstate freight rail customers. LeadWest, an alliance of five councils in Melbourne’s western suburbs, said the project was supported by the supply chain and logistics industry, and it believed it would be the catalyst for enough investment to create 28,000 jobs in the region. “LeadWest is also concerned about the impact on the roads in Melbourne’s west, given there may be an additional 400-plus trucks daily on our roads, including the Western Ring Road that is already at capacity,” group chair and Melton councillor Sophie Ramsey said. Peter Anderson, chief executive of the Victorian Transport Association, said he was disappointed by the decision because the western site was closer to the Port of Melbourne and the customers the rail line would serve. “Containerised freight goes into warehouses … Those warehouses are in Truganina and Laverton, where the WIFT is,” he said. Anderson said he had road safety concerns because Inland Rail would deliver goods to Melbourne’s north quickly, but trucks moving to the west would regularly create kilometres-long queues on key corridors. “It is going to cost a lot of money to get from Beveridge to Footscray and a lot of money to come back, and it’s going to have to be done 10,000 times a day.” A spokesperson for federal Transport Minister Catherine King said the independent review of Inland Rail recommended two terminals in Victoria, but also called for the northern site to be prioritised. “The Albanese government supports this approach and is working with the Victorian government to settle funding and delivery arrangements,” they said. The federal government has committed $61.8 million for planning work around investment in the WIFT and southern section of rail along the proposed Outer Metropolitan Ring Road. The existing $740 million commitment to the project remains. A Victorian government spokesperson said the Commonwealth’s prioritisation of Beveridge and private ingest meant “thee additional capacity the Western Interstate Freight Terminal (WIFT) would provide is not needed in the short term”. “The Western Interstate Freight Terminal remains important, but its delivery will be deferred until additional terminal capacity is needed,” they said. The Allan government has also extended interstate rail freight operations at South Dynon, which is leased by Pacific National and due to expire by 2031, by another 20 years. A spokesperson for the company did not say whether this decision affected its proposal to deliver its own freight hub at Little River, a private sector alternative that could service the west but has raised environmental concerns. “We will continue to work with the state government to ensure intermodal rail freight operations in Victoria are secure and support the delivery of a terminal solution in Melbourne’s west so we can continue to deliver what matters for our customers,” the spokesperson said. Wyndham City deputy mayor Josh Gilligan said Pacific National and the state government needed to work together to prioritise Truganina over Little River with “clear and upfront timelines”. “The state can’t renege on their own expert planning and freight advice, including their freight plan, by quietly walking away from Truganina, which contains nearly a majority of Victoria’s interstate freight customers,” he said. Opposition ports and freight spokeswoman Roma Britnell said the WIFT had been delayed because of the government’s financial management. “Both the [Beveridge freight terminal] and WIFT are critical to the future of Victoria’s freight system, and both these projects should be proceeding,” she said. Liberal Northern Metropolitan MP Evan Mulholland said the state was being “dragged kicking and screaming to back the Beveridge project and is only supporting this critical project now due to the federal Labor government adopting the former Liberal Coalition government’s policy”. A key feature of the Truganina site was that it would one day connect to the Outer Metropolitan Ring Road, a proposed 100-kilometre road and rail link from Werribee and Melton to Craigieburn, Epping and Thomastown. A business case for the project is being developed. The Victorian government has put an overlay on the land where this corridor is expected to be built, meaning landowners who sell their properties in this area can be entitled to compensation. Since 2018-19, 42 claims have been lodged and the government has paid out $400 million in compensation. The biggest years for payouts were 2019-20 and 2020-21, when $118 million and $155 million in claims were paid out. |
2024.05.27 14:02 HootblackDesiato Speaking Of Sound Engineers....A Tin Ear
I have the utmost respect for sound engineers, in particular those with working bands playing in spaces that are acoustic nightmares, not being able to please the venue managers, the customers, or the musicians, and doubling as the only roadie. It's a thankless endeavor and as one of the guys on stage I have always appreciated how hard that job is.
To my story. The earlier post about a sound guy that was a tight band friend and a toxic personality reminded me of one of my experiences.
In the late 1970s I played with a rock cover band that was pretty successful - our agent was getting us booked to the point that we had to beg for time off occasionally. We weren't working for a record deal or anything like that, we were just a working band but a good one.
The band originally consisted of 4 musicians and the sound man / roadie who were all tight high school buddies. These guys had been the hot rock band ticket at their HS in their medium-sized Texas town. I joined 2-3 years after they graduated, as did a female singer. So we had six total musicians on stage, with 3 guitarists, 4 vocalists, bass, and drums, and the occasional keyboard part. A pretty demanding mix situation with a lot of 3-part vox harmonies and getting levels right on those 3 guitars that would be swapping off on lead work.
At one point we decided on a PA system upgrade. We went to Heart Of Texas Music in Austin and with the help of one of their sound specialists we ended up with a completely new suite of vocal and drum mics, new main cabs, new EQs, and a few other odds and ends. Maybe new monitors. I think we may have kept our power amps. Anyhow, we spent a lot of money for good sound. The H.O.T. rep agreed to meet us with all the new gear at a gig that was near Austin, arrive early and work with our sound engineer to set everything up and get the room rung out.
More about our sound guy: as I mentioned above, he and the founding members of the band were old friends, very tight. He was a damned hard worker, absolutely dependable, and an all-around nice guy. He was an equal partner in the band in terms of pay and equipment equity. And, as I was to find out that night, he had a tin ear.
At the gig with the new gear we got everything set up. The H.O.T. rep did it right, using a reference mic throughout the room in conjunction with a noise generator to get the best possible solution. Sound check was a dream. Best monitor situation we'd ever had. We took turns out front during sound check listening to the FOH sound and were impressed. We were very happy with the sound situation and sent the H.O.T. rep on his way.
5 minutes into the first set every monitor started squealing, the monitor levels all dropped precipitously, and we were back to the normal "can't hear shit" situation we'd been dealing with since forever. After that first set ended we asked our sound guy what had happened, thinking that something in the system had failed. He said, "Oh, I didn't like the way it sounded so I fixed it."
That was when I understood that I was going to be captive to a sound guy with a tin ear until the day I left that band. It's not like we received complaints about the quality of the sound, but I have always wondered how good we could have sounded, and how much his ear affected the listener experience.
Hadn't thought about that situation for years, until I read that other post. Thanks for reading!
submitted by HootblackDesiato to musicians [link] [comments]
To my story. The earlier post about a sound guy that was a tight band friend and a toxic personality reminded me of one of my experiences.
In the late 1970s I played with a rock cover band that was pretty successful - our agent was getting us booked to the point that we had to beg for time off occasionally. We weren't working for a record deal or anything like that, we were just a working band but a good one.
The band originally consisted of 4 musicians and the sound man / roadie who were all tight high school buddies. These guys had been the hot rock band ticket at their HS in their medium-sized Texas town. I joined 2-3 years after they graduated, as did a female singer. So we had six total musicians on stage, with 3 guitarists, 4 vocalists, bass, and drums, and the occasional keyboard part. A pretty demanding mix situation with a lot of 3-part vox harmonies and getting levels right on those 3 guitars that would be swapping off on lead work.
At one point we decided on a PA system upgrade. We went to Heart Of Texas Music in Austin and with the help of one of their sound specialists we ended up with a completely new suite of vocal and drum mics, new main cabs, new EQs, and a few other odds and ends. Maybe new monitors. I think we may have kept our power amps. Anyhow, we spent a lot of money for good sound. The H.O.T. rep agreed to meet us with all the new gear at a gig that was near Austin, arrive early and work with our sound engineer to set everything up and get the room rung out.
More about our sound guy: as I mentioned above, he and the founding members of the band were old friends, very tight. He was a damned hard worker, absolutely dependable, and an all-around nice guy. He was an equal partner in the band in terms of pay and equipment equity. And, as I was to find out that night, he had a tin ear.
At the gig with the new gear we got everything set up. The H.O.T. rep did it right, using a reference mic throughout the room in conjunction with a noise generator to get the best possible solution. Sound check was a dream. Best monitor situation we'd ever had. We took turns out front during sound check listening to the FOH sound and were impressed. We were very happy with the sound situation and sent the H.O.T. rep on his way.
5 minutes into the first set every monitor started squealing, the monitor levels all dropped precipitously, and we were back to the normal "can't hear shit" situation we'd been dealing with since forever. After that first set ended we asked our sound guy what had happened, thinking that something in the system had failed. He said, "Oh, I didn't like the way it sounded so I fixed it."
That was when I understood that I was going to be captive to a sound guy with a tin ear until the day I left that band. It's not like we received complaints about the quality of the sound, but I have always wondered how good we could have sounded, and how much his ear affected the listener experience.
Hadn't thought about that situation for years, until I read that other post. Thanks for reading!
2024.05.27 02:34 Dyerwolf57 Show Me The Way, Beautiful
Few events from my previous lives are as indelibly branded onto my memory as this death defying hitchhiking experience. Hang in there with me for it, you won’t be sorry. In 1979 two high school buddies from LawnGuyLand, NY were working as doorman/ID checkers at a redneckiddy disco lounge in the Tampa Bay region of Florida. We drank, smoked and snorted our meager pay and neglected the rent and bills and my shitty ride puked on itself and died. Prospects were lookin’ bad for me, and I decided to pack it in and hitch back “home” to family in NY. My buddy, Joe, in a rare show of concern, decided that hitching alone would be too risky for me, so he arranged for some random dude he met at a bar to hitch with me. Enter Mitch, a muscular Guido from Philly, my new hitchhiking companion. Some gal pals of ours threw a going away party for me the night before my departure where I first met Mitch. Well hung over the next morning, a hot, muggy June day, the girls finally dropped us off on an entrance ramp to the I-4 interstate running NE from Tampa, through Orlando, and up to I-95, which would take us all the way to NY. I was way overloaded with a heavy suitcase and duffle-bag carrying many precious to me items, including a number of beloved books. Idiotic describes me and many of my choices well. Took a long while to get our first ride, but dude took us about forty miles and drooped us at his exit, which was atop a miles-long section of elevated highway with a number of interchanges. I had a cardboard sign reading “Orlando” our destination for this leg, and there we were, 30 feet in the air on an 8 inch curb between the guardrail and traffic whizzing by in the right lane and we were inching along trying to reach a wide spot at the next entrance ramp about a half-mile distant. Scary AF!! I kept my sign visible somehow, as traffic roared by in the blazing hot sun and oppressive humidity and picked our way dangerously along, Mick in the lead, and me overburdened with all my shit trying not to get clipped by the 80 MPH traffic, a genuine concern. Astoundingly, way ahead, we see brake lights in the right lane. A small pick up has actually stopped, requiring traffic to veer around it. We did our best to pick up the pace but it wasn’t much and they were pretty far ahead. Then, mind-blowingly, the brake lights change to REVERSE lights and this little blue pick-up is backing toward us in the right lane of an elevated highway, causing drivers to blare their horns as they swerve into the left lane! It actually gets to us and we hurl our shit into the back and leap right in as the driver guns it and takes off as quick as she can. Mick and I got tumbled on to the corrugated sheet metal bed of the truck which was hot as a broiler and literally seared our bare legs and arms until we could adjust our gear to sit on so we wouldn’t contact the sheet metal. The driver, a hot platinum blonde Florida classic, accelerated to 90. I was sitting behind the gorgeous young brunette passenger and tried to talk to her via the passenger window. She turned around on her seat and stuck her head out the window and we vainly tried to communicate with me shouting the obvious “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” To the reply of “WHAAT?” A few times. Her hair was brutally whipping me in the eyes at the insane speed the driver was going at to negotiate through traffic and we couldn’t understand one another. Then this crazy beauty climbs OUT the fucking passenger window and attempts to join me in the bed. Seeing anyone do stunts like this has always mortified me, and here’s this girl, right now, doing it right here! At 90 MPH, her t-shirt immediately blew up, completely covering her head and revealing her beautiful firm titties. I reached out and seized her in my arms and pulled her into the bed of the truck and we all laughed. The driver was whipping her head around and checking on her friend, but to me, this was the nuttiest stunt I’d ever seen a girl pull. But, Florida, folks, Florida. I learned that they were heading over to the Cocoa beach area, which was east coast, but a bit south. The gal told me her dad ran a motel and we could have a room and party. Now, if this sounds irresistable, and too good to be true, you gave to try and understand that working at the bar, the last two years of my life had been much like this. Pussy and partying non-stop. I was into it, but Mick was dead-set against it. It was getting kinda late and we weren’t even to Orlando yet. When we got to their exit, we regrettably departed. I lived to regret it even more later, but we’ll get to that. Because we were now close to Orlando, I made a new sign that read I-95 North. In due time we got a ride in a car from a gentleman and a young companion. I chatted with the driver as I was the sociable one and always dutifully appreciative of a ride. After some time, Mick leaned over and informed me that he thought the driver was “a fag”, and went on to thoroughly embarrass the fuck out of me by being homophobically rude and obnoxious. Mick was a dick, and I was catching on quick. That ride brought us all the way to I-95 wherever those interstates connect, before sunset. We got a room at some Holiday Inn near the highway and there was little else around. I found a weird shitty little bar across the road and arranged us a ride to a singles bar near a local beach. I think it was called “Apple Annies” or some shit like that. The place was absolutely PACKED to the fucking rafters and Mick and I hit the ground running. I proceeded to get gloriously whiskey drunk and scored a pair of “sisters” or so they claimed, a tiny petite blonde, and a bit larger black haired beauty. Apparently, their parents packed their vulnerable young ovaries off to Florida from Harrisburg, because the Three Mile Island reactor was fixing to melt down. We took them back to our motel room where I gave an awful “whiskey dick” performance for this tiny blonde doll, then we skinny-dipped pool and got ‘em a cab back to their hotel. I woke up kinda late, hungover again, hungry, dehydrated, and grumpy. I took this opportunity to dump a lot of excess baggage much to my regret, but necessary. Before we left the room, Mick took the opportunity to take a dump on the floor, “I like doin’ dat”, he said by way of explanation. JeezisChrist! After breakfast, we made our way to the nearest entrance ramp to the Interstate I-95 North. It was a long twisting entrance ramp and we slogged our way up it in more oppressive humid heat. Being a Sunday morning, there was no traffic at all using this ramp. Our goal was to stand there with our sign aside the Interstate where the entrance ramp provides a nice wide, easy spot to pull over. No fucking sooner than we got up there a State Trooper pulls over and loudly informs us on his PA that if he catches us hitchhiking on the interstate that we will be spending the night in jail. Fuck. Back down the long winding entrance ramp, sit on the guard rail, and in an hour and a half, two semis and a Caddy with an old couple. Not very promising. After some argument, we decided to take our chances on the Interstate that we’d get a ride before Smokey shows back up. As we start heading up the ramp a pickup passes by. He must have seen my sign I held up and he stopped and began backing up. I mentioned this ramp was winding, and in backing up on the curves he got sort of askew and halted. That was a red flag. There were a few. Shoulda been payin’ closer attention. Grimy, not too old, GM 2500 pickup with a dual rear end, Texas plates. Me: “hi, ya give us a ride?” Him, deep drawl, “ ya see me stopped here, doncha?” “Yeah, where ya goin’?” “Nooorth” “Okay, uh how far ya goin?” “Noorth”. Me, desperate for a ride, “Well, we’re goin’ north too, so, let us throw our shit on an’ get in”. Of course the cocksucker took off as soon as we climbed on, and before we could get settled in. The bed was filled with pipes and cables, junk and trash. There was a big toolbox behind the cab, little slider windows on the back. We shoved some crap outta the way with our feet and arranged our bags where we could sit on it. Mick was giving me side-eye about this ride, but I was none too fond of this asshole at this point and just happy to see pine trees whizzing by and disappearing to the south. And this is where it started to go bad. Real bad. After a few miles, Mick says to me: “Hey, that guy was just doin’ something.” “ Wadda ya mean?” “He was holding a plastic bag up to his face and breathing in it. Looked like it had cotton balls in it.” “Ya mean like he was huffing shit?! While he’s DRIVING!??” “I guess.” “Well, he’s not doing it now.” I was just tryin’ to get north and wasn’t in the mood for any of this shit just, then, Mick, the driver, whatever. We had a long long way to go and I just wanted to burn up the miles. Before long, Mick gives me the dreaded, “Hey!, He’s doing it again!” I turn around from my spot in the bed behind the toolbox on the passenger side and see our fuckin Texan driver with both hands holding a plastic baggy to his face and huffing away, driving with his thigh. I get up at the little slider window and I’m all like, “Yo, man! Hey uhh, ya prolly shouldn’t be doin’ that shit while yer drivin’like,ya know what I mean?” At this, the cocksucker reaches back and closes the sliders and locks ‘em. Then he goes back to huffing. Hard. As I’m watching and now banging frantically on the window, I observe him start to nod out, and then spazz and go rigid. With his foot on the accelerator. We’re in traffic. Semi in front of us. Approaching it fast. Needle climbing. Mick is, of course, seeing all this too. He’s yelling, hunched over the toolbox, slamming on the glass with his big meaty fists. Adrenaline floods and I go into superhero mode. I stand up on the toolbox and bend over the cab. The truck sways and nearly throws me. I stick my sweaty left palm on the hot metal of the cab, hang on to the toolbox with my left big toe and lunge for the towing mirror on the passenger side with my right hand. I manage to sweep my left arm, head and most of my chest through the seven inch opening of the passenger window. Couple of squirms and my abs are riding the top of the glass, legs straight out, left hand on the back of the seat and right grabs the wheel just in fucking time. We’re in the right lane, and nearly under the back of the semi. I steer us over to the right onto the grass and start passing the semi and then a few more cars. Dude is rigid as a corpse, and has BOTH goddamned feet pinning the gas to the floor. Glance at the speedo is 95 and climbing. All I got is steering, and as soon as possible I get back on the pavement and weave through cars as we rocket forward. I’ve always wondered what other drivers thought seeing me with my legs straight out, all my weight on my abs on the top of this window and this truck actin’ all crazy. Eventually I got ahead enough of traffic where I could squirm into the fucking cab and kick that fucktard’s feet off the gas and get control of the truck and slow us down. We were doing over a hundred and I never drive fast. Mick was beating on the glass and yelling shit at me but I was in no mood for any distractions and left the slider locked. After a couple minutes the dude started to wake up and freak out, fighting me for control of his truck. He was still fucked up and had no clue what had happened. I didn’t want to risk fighting him, and wreck out so gradually I let him regain control. I told him to get us off at the next exit, but he fucking missed it. I tried talking to to him but that didn’t go too well. I don’t remember much of the conversation except for this exchange.The truck had all kind of custom gauges and shit and I noticed our oil pressure was low. So I tried mentioning that it looked like the truck could use a quart or two. “ It don’t need no AWWWLLL!” Was the loud reply I got. “Yeah’ but the gauge here..” The gauge don’t need no AWWLLL neither!!!” He practically roared. Asshole. I just went back to directing the fuckin moron to get off at the next exit again, and I pretty much had to holler at him non-stop or he woulda missed that one too. He finally took the exit and pulled over near some woods just up the road from a Dairy Queen. Mick hopped out and I had to intervene to keep him from giving the asshole a much deserved beat down. Dude was suitably cowed when we briefly and loudly described the recent events. Then Mick got to lookin at the truck and it’s numerous motorhead features. Then he got the idea of convincing the guy to sell it to us, for the like $200 bucks we had left in our pockets, and in his solvent-brain-addled state, he went for it! We got him to sign a bill of sale and pulled over to a dumpster and cleaned out the bed. In cleaning it we found the registration that dude couldn’t locate and signed it over to Mick to prevent us from going to jail for a stolen vehicle, just in case. All dude seemed to be interested was the can of toluene he had been huffing out of. We pointed him toward the Dairy Queen and never saw nor heard from him again. It was a pretty bad-ass truck and it had, notably, among many other features, a large extra fuel tank built in under the toolbox in the bed. We had almost zero money left between us, but spent some on a roadside oil-change to get rid of the sludge left in the crankcase. And off we went. We roared up I-95 with Mick the dick at the wheel, all leadfoot and aggression. Asshole. Late afternoon, we spotted a motel with some girls at the pool. Parked, stripped in the parking lot, swimsuits, and jumped in the pool. Drank their beer, bounced ‘em on their beds, rinsed, and hit the road again. Seeing as we were nearly outta gas I had Mick pull over near a housing development in GA somewhere and we waited for dark. Then I got out and jumped fences, hitting garden sheds and collecting lawnmower gas cans. Then I went out with my knife, cut a length of garden hose and commenced siphoning gas for much of the night. We managed to collect quite a bit, and repeat this procedure all the way up the eastern seaboard until I got to my Mom’s house, where I bid good riddance to Mick the dick and the hot truck and went on to live the difficult and unenviable life my low morals and values would dictate. I just want to point out that but for the coincidence of that delightful young gal, crazily climbing out that truck window, JUST THE DAY BEFORE, I probably would not be here today to write this. Just sayin’. Be cautious out there, folks.
submitted by Dyerwolf57 to hitchhiking [link] [comments]
2024.05.27 01:33 Alone-End-202 Online Essay Writers for Hire Reddit Thesis statement & Argumentative writing Help Research paper Essay structure Helper Reddit Introduction writing Conclusion writing for Essay Exams Reddit Paragraph development Help Reddit Transition words Citation styles Proofreading techniques Reddit
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As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
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Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
submitted by Alone-End-202 to Studentcorner [link] [comments]
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
- Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
- AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
- AP Statistics
- Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
- College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
- Business Calculus
- Business Statistics
- Business Math
- Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
- Geometry
- International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
- Liberal Arts Math
- Logic & Reasoning
- Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
- Precalculus Pre-calculus
- Probability & Statistics
- Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
- Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
- Statistics (Stats)
- Statistics for Social Sciences
- Trigonometry (Trig)
- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
- I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
- I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
- I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
- I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
- 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
- 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
- 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
- I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
- I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
- I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
- If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
- I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
- Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
2024.05.27 01:29 ryanmark234 Business Writing Help reddit Creative Essay Writing Help Reddit Critical Essay Writing Helper for Hire Reddit Eastern Literature Help Reddit English Literature Helper Reddit Expository & Persuasive Essay Writing Help Reddit Fiction Help - Greek and Roman Philosophy Writing Helper Reddit
If you are unable to Pass your Exams, Quizzes, Tests or Unable to Handle Homework Assignments or full course online, Get paid help from Online Helpers at Hiraedu!
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
submitted by ryanmark234 to Studentcorner [link] [comments]
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
- Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
- AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
- AP Statistics
- Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
- College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
- Business Calculus
- Business Statistics
- Business Math
- Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
- Geometry
- International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
- Liberal Arts Math
- Logic & Reasoning
- Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
- Precalculus Pre-calculus
- Probability & Statistics
- Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
- Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
- Statistics (Stats)
- Statistics for Social Sciences
- Trigonometry (Trig)
- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
- I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
- I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
- I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
- I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
- 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
- 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
- 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
- I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
- I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
- I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
- If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
- I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
- Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
TAGS:
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2024.05.26 22:37 douglaskeisenman Time Series Analysis Homework Assignment Help Reddit Time Series Analysis Course Class help Reddit Online Helper for Time Series Analysis Assignment homework test quiz exam class Reddit pay someone to do my Time Series Analysis assignment class course exam test quiz reddit Test taker Reddit
If you are unable to Pass your Stat Exams, Quizzes, Tests or Unable to Handle Homework Assignments or full course online, Get paid help from Online Helpers at Hiraedu!
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
TAGS:
Accounting Exam Help Reddit, Best Online Test Takers Reddit, Best Ways to Cheat on a Test Reddit, Best Website to Pay for Homework Reddit, Bypass Respondus Lockdown Browser Reddit, Calculus Test Taker Reddit, Canvas Cheating Reddit, Cheating in Online Exam Reddit, Cheating on Pearson Mymathlab Reddit, Cheating on Proctortrack Reddit, Cheating on Zoom Proctored Exams Reddit, Cheating on a Test Reddit, College Algebra Mymathlab Reddit, Do Homework for Money Reddit, Do My Assignment Reddit, Do My Exam for Me Reddit, Do My Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Math Homework Reddit, Do My Math Homework for Me Reddit, Do My Test for Me Reddit, Doing Homework Reddit, Domyhomework Reddit, Exam Cheating Reddit, Exam Help Online Reddit, Examity Reddit, Finance Homework Help Reddit, Fiverr Exam Cheating Reddit, Gradeseekers Reddit, Hire Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Hire Test Taker Reddit, Homework Help Reddit, Homework Sites Reddit, Reddit, Homeworkhelp Reddit, Honorlock Reddit, How Much Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, How to Beat Honorlock Reddit, How to Beat Lockdown Browser Reddit, How to Cheat Examity Reddit 2022, How to Cheat Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat and Not Get Caught Reddit, How to Cheat in School Reddit, How to Cheat on Canvas Tests Reddit, How to Cheat on Examity Reddit, How to Cheat on Honorlock Reddit, How to Cheat on Math Test Reddit, How to Cheat on Mymathlab Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Online Proctored Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exam Reddit, How to Cheat on Zoom Exams Reddit, How to Cheat on a Proctored Exam Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio 2020 Reddit, How to Cheat with Proctorio Reddit, How to Cheat with Respondus Monitor Reddit, How to Get Past Lockdown Browser Reddit, Hwforcash Discord, I Paid Someone to Write My Essay Reddit, Is Hwforcash Legit, Lockdown Browser Hack Reddit, Lockdown Browser How to Cheat Reddit, Math Homework Reddit, Monitoredu Reddit, Mymathlab Answer Key Reddit, Mymathlab Answers Reddit, Mymathlab Cheat Reddit, Mymathlab Proctored Test Reddit, Online Exam Help Reddit, Online Exam Proctor Reddit, Online Proctored Exam Reddit, Organic Chemistry Exam Help Reddit, Organic Chemistry Test Taker Reddit, Paper Writers Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reddit, Pay Me to Do Your Homework Reviews Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Assignment Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My College Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Math Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Online Math Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Do My Programming Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Do Statistics Homework Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Exam for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Chemistry Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Online Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Proctored Exam Reddit, Pay Someone to Take My Test in Person Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Class for Me Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Online Test Reddit, Pay Someone to Take Your Online Class Reddit, Pay Someone to Write My Paper Reddit, Pay for Homework Reddit, Pay to Do Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Do Your Homework Reddit, Paying Someone to Take My Online Class Reddit, Paying Someone to Take Online Class Reddit, Paysomeonetodo Reddit, Physics Test Taker Reddit, Proctored Exam Reddit, Reddit Do My Homework for Me, Reddit Domyhomework, Reddit Homework Cheat, Reddit Homework Help, Reddit Homework for Money, Reddit Honorlock Cheating, Reddit Mymathlab Hack, Reddit Mymathlab Homework Answers, Reddit Paid Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Do Your Homework, Reddit Pay Someone to Take Online Test, Reddit Pay for Homework, Reddit Pay to Do Homework, Reddit Test Takers for Hire, Reddit Tutors, Should I Pay Someone to Take My Exam Reddit, Statistics Test Taker Reddit, Take My Calculus Exam Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reddit, Take My Class Pro Reviews Reddit, Take My Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Math Test for Me Reddit, Take My Online Class Reddit, Take My Online Class for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reddit, Take My Online Exams Review Reddit, Take My Online Exams Reviews Reddit, Take My Online Test Reddit, Take My Online Test for Me Reddit, Take My Physics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Proctored Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Statistics Exam for Me Reddit, Take My Test for Me Reddit, Takemyonlineexams Reddit, Test Taker Reddit, We Take Classes Reddit, Write My Exam for Me Reddit
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
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Join this subreddit to help us grow!
submitted by douglaskeisenman to Statisticshelpers_ [link] [comments]
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
- Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
- AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
- AP Statistics
- Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
- College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
- Business Calculus
- Business Statistics
- Business Math
- Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
- Geometry
- International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
- Liberal Arts Math
- Logic & Reasoning
- Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
- Precalculus Pre-calculus
- Probability & Statistics
- Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
- Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
- Statistics (Stats)
- Statistics for Social Sciences
- Trigonometry (Trig)
- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
- I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
- I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
- I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
- I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
- 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
- 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
- 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
- I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
- I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
- I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
- If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
- I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
- Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
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2024.05.26 22:10 sunootonin is it okay to be upset about this?
i need telugu peeps opinion thsts why im here. I'm 17F from upper middle class background. my parents are really nice but also really protective. for context, I'm most probably (🤞) going to maharashtra for college one of the good business schools for bba. my parents have never allowed me to go anywhere in auto cab and all like the rest of my friends and I live in bangalore for context so traffic is crazy. I also live in outskirts so anywhere more than 20 km away and it's very far and timetaking. My dad has to drop me everywhere and as a result I cant really ask him to go to my friends place often cause they live little bit fat away and I don't want to trouble him so I barely go out now. College is starting in one month. And my parents are saying even when I'm in a different state, they will not allow me to go by auto cab and all just hostel and then college. idk how is that fair? what if I want to go the mall w my friends? What if I want to get a job or buy smth. i feel very frustrates because I want to enjoy and be little bit free but my parents keep pulling the excuse of safety but literally ALL my friends have been able to roam around and do things and I also want to be able to do a little bit of that. I just don't want to be ungrateful in asking for that. I worked very hard I got 95% in my board exams qnd have been giving entrance exams the whole past month. I am arts student so my parents have been "liberal" because they let me pursue what I want but I am so tired of not being invited anywhere anymore because my friends know I won't be able to come cause my dad will either drive me and just wait there for 2 hours and I barely get to spend time w my friends. Sorry for rant I just don't want to be ungrateful. Is it okay To be upset about this? do I sound ungrateful?
submitted by sunootonin to ask_Bondha [link] [comments]
2024.05.26 21:15 Brilliant_Maddy Confidence Intervals exam Help Online Reddit Online Exam Helper for Hire Reddit Take my Confidence Intervals Assignment Project reddit do my Confidence Intervals course Homework Reddit Confidence Intervals class Help Reddit Pay someone to do my Confidence Intervals Exam Reddit
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ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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submitted by Brilliant_Maddy to Statisticshelpers_ [link] [comments]
Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
- Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
- Homework Assignments
- Exams Quizzes Tests
- Excel Projects
- Discussion Forum Posts
- Research Papers Term Papers Essays
- Employment Assessments
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
- Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
- AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
- AP Statistics
- Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
- College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
- Business Calculus
- Business Statistics
- Business Math
- Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
- Geometry
- International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
- Liberal Arts Math
- Logic & Reasoning
- Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
- Precalculus Pre-calculus
- Probability & Statistics
- Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
- Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
- Statistics (Stats)
- Statistics for Social Sciences
- Trigonometry (Trig)
- I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
- I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
- ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts
- I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
- Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
- I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:
- Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
- Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
- Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
- Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
- Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
- I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
- Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
- I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.
- I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
- I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
- I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
- I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
- Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.
- I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study. com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
- However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
- I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
- I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.
- Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
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- I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.
- I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
- A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
- D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
- L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
- UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
- U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
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- Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
- This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
- Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.
- For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
- Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
- Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
- Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
- Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
- Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
- Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
- Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
- 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
- NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
- 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
- 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
- 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
- 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
- I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
- I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
- I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
- If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
- I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
- Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
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2024.05.26 20:09 PureWasian PSA: BITE7 PIU Tournaments!!
 | When: Aug 9-11, 2024Where: Hampton, VAWhat: Beast In The East 7https://preview.redd.it/lmgtzr8yat2d1.png?width=4800&format=png&auto=webp&s=c16ec45ecfdad3a8c93a89e037ae7f66957c9bb6Wanted to give a shoutout to an upcoming, very popular US-based PIU event coming up, since Early Bird registration is still active until May 31st! It would be awesome to meet and say hi to anyone who can make it there :) The main tourney is currently accepting entrants up to a cap of 101 contestants in a double-elim, waterfall style format that will pit together players of similar skill-level in some progressively intense matchups (starting from S10-S15 and ramping up all the way to S26/D28 in the card draws by the apex of the tourney). They're expecting 6 tourney cabs and also other PIU cabs on freeplay as well, with other rhythm games/dance games/fighting games also on free play for the weekend. Looks like it'll be very exciting, especially with Fefemz and Windforce anticipated to attend again! There's also planning to be a Women/NB Division, a Co-Op Tourney, and a revival of the "Banya Old School" Tourney, with plans to live stream and commentate matchups and relay tourney progression throughout the entire weekend. Hope this info helps! And hope to meet some of you there :) |
2024.05.26 20:08 shamalaladingdong729 Finally found a cute guy and excited to see how it goes (storytime)
Ok so I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, we matched on bumble. I have the trans flag in my bio and also “trans woman” listed overtly in my bio so I’m pretty sure that he knows but we haven’t talked about it at all. He’s 26 I’m 21
When we first started talking he would respond like once a day or so but then when he felt more comfortable after around a week ish asked for my number and we’ve been talking via text since then. It bothered me at first when he wouldn’t respond more frequently but whenever he would respond it was always incredibly engaging responses to what I said and he also asked me meaningful questions about myself and progressing the conversation.(never one word answers or conversation ending responses).
So I just kept responding because I realized I had nothing to lose by continuing and also felt ok with it because I think that so many people use lots of texting to create a false sense of intimacy so they can soothe the discomfort of uncertainty when starting to date someone when in reality texting a ton is a horrible way to get to know someone and a great way to sabatoge a relationship by moving too fast. (All of this applies to me in the past because I’m working on fixing my anxious attachment style lol)
After 2 weeks talking in total I started to wonder why he hadn’t asked me out and hinted at it realllllly subtly in our conversation. He picked up on the hint and responded with “also btw I’d ask you out but have finals this week and sadly have no time” He works in finance and is also getting his masters so he’s incredibly busy and the time we matched was around finals season for university so I understood because I was busy with school as well. I responded with “that’s totally cool I have finals as well, a date would be a cute way to celebrate the end of finals” he liked the message and we continued the conversation.
2 weeks after this conversation and continuing talking he finished finals but then left the country for a short week long vacation. The entire week he was gone we didn’t speak. Like I said we usually text each other like once a day so when he stopped responding the entire week I started to get a bit of an impression that he was distancing.
He had left the country on about a Monday. The last conversation we had before he left he asked when I finished finals and I told him the next Monday was my final exam. So when the rest of the week past and Sunday hit I was uncertain but was like whatever ig. However when my exam day came he made sure to send me a text super early in the morning wishing me good luck on my exam. I thought this was really sweet because even though we hadn’t been speaking he bookmarked and noted my exam day and made sure to send me a text early in the morning even with the time difference where he was to communicate that he was listening and still cared.
That week he returned from his trip and finally asked me out and we made plans for the following Tuesday ( last week). He asked around where I lived and found a place convenient to my apartment and also booked a reservation. I showed up to the date and he was waiting outside for me. He’s so hot and exactly my type, we shared a quick cordial hug and I realized he was sweating a bit and holding his jacket in hand instead of wearing it. We live in manhattan btw and it’s getting warm.
He told me he ran over to the restaurant to make sure he was there on time to which I asked “are you usually punctual” to which he replied that he’s known in his friend group for being late for everything so the fact that he ran over and was sweating was so cute, it’s like he realllly wanted to make sure a good impression.
For context while the way he texts is very engaged and reflective that he really thinks about my responses but I would say he’s a bit under expressive so I was curious to meet him to see what he was really like in person. I wasn’t sure if that’s just how he texts or if he was really like that.
We get to our table and have 3hours of non stop conversation about normal first date topics but it was honestly the best first date I had ever been on. We haven’t been flirtatious or sexually suggestive with each other at all it was really just getting to know each other and having fun which was honestly so refreshing.
He was even being really cute and doing sweet little things. Like for example he asked what music I was into and when I expressed being into kinda sad lover girl songs 😭 (he’s Chinese and I’m African American) he sent me a really cute and sappy song by a popular chinese artist and also found and sent the English translation of the lyrics so I could listen to it and follow along.
We stay until closing and walk outside of the restaurant. He asked how I was getting home and I told him that I was meeting up with some friends at an event so was gonna call a Uber. He said he would wait with me. I called my car and he then asked to see it so he could see the license plate and be on the lookout for it. We’re standing next to each other on the sidewalk and as I’m handing him my phone he very subtly moves his arm around my waist while looking at the license number 🥺 it was like the same vibes as when guys do the whole arm around the shoulder thing in movie theatres to subtly break the touch barrier for the first time and I subtly leaned into it.
Even though I didn’t acknowledge it and neither of us said anything I was SO HAPPY. Like I said we hadn’t been flirtatious or suggestive at all so him doing that was a great nod at the growth of comfortablity and acknowledgment that he enjoyed our date as much as I did.
We just kept talking while waiting for my car and when the car came he walked me to the curb and waved over the car for me. When the car approached cradled me a bit closer than just the hand on my waist and I didn’t expect it but he gave me a really sweet kiss. After that level of comfortablity I went back in for a deeper kiss cuz I was tipsy from the drinks we had and couldn’t help myself 🫣 he pulled back shortly after quite respectfully and when he did I asked if he wanted to come with me to the event. He respectfully declined because he had work to finish at home (the next day after catching up he communicated that that night after our date he was up till 2am doing work) and then opened the cab door and put me in.
Since our date he’s been a bit more expressive and for the first time actually apologized for taking a while to reply. We’ve been communicating as normal since and I’m just really smitten. I’ve been on lots of dates but haven’t felt a connection like this since my last relationship. Still trying to maintain a grounded mindset and not idealize him (it’s still early) but I’m really excited to get to know him more and see where it goes. Just wanted to post about this because I feel like I see lots of posts hating on dating apps and wanted to share that there are great guys out there for us that will treat us well! 🩷
submitted by shamalaladingdong729 to StraightTransGirls [link] [comments]
When we first started talking he would respond like once a day or so but then when he felt more comfortable after around a week ish asked for my number and we’ve been talking via text since then. It bothered me at first when he wouldn’t respond more frequently but whenever he would respond it was always incredibly engaging responses to what I said and he also asked me meaningful questions about myself and progressing the conversation.(never one word answers or conversation ending responses).
So I just kept responding because I realized I had nothing to lose by continuing and also felt ok with it because I think that so many people use lots of texting to create a false sense of intimacy so they can soothe the discomfort of uncertainty when starting to date someone when in reality texting a ton is a horrible way to get to know someone and a great way to sabatoge a relationship by moving too fast. (All of this applies to me in the past because I’m working on fixing my anxious attachment style lol)
After 2 weeks talking in total I started to wonder why he hadn’t asked me out and hinted at it realllllly subtly in our conversation. He picked up on the hint and responded with “also btw I’d ask you out but have finals this week and sadly have no time” He works in finance and is also getting his masters so he’s incredibly busy and the time we matched was around finals season for university so I understood because I was busy with school as well. I responded with “that’s totally cool I have finals as well, a date would be a cute way to celebrate the end of finals” he liked the message and we continued the conversation.
2 weeks after this conversation and continuing talking he finished finals but then left the country for a short week long vacation. The entire week he was gone we didn’t speak. Like I said we usually text each other like once a day so when he stopped responding the entire week I started to get a bit of an impression that he was distancing.
He had left the country on about a Monday. The last conversation we had before he left he asked when I finished finals and I told him the next Monday was my final exam. So when the rest of the week past and Sunday hit I was uncertain but was like whatever ig. However when my exam day came he made sure to send me a text super early in the morning wishing me good luck on my exam. I thought this was really sweet because even though we hadn’t been speaking he bookmarked and noted my exam day and made sure to send me a text early in the morning even with the time difference where he was to communicate that he was listening and still cared.
That week he returned from his trip and finally asked me out and we made plans for the following Tuesday ( last week). He asked around where I lived and found a place convenient to my apartment and also booked a reservation. I showed up to the date and he was waiting outside for me. He’s so hot and exactly my type, we shared a quick cordial hug and I realized he was sweating a bit and holding his jacket in hand instead of wearing it. We live in manhattan btw and it’s getting warm.
He told me he ran over to the restaurant to make sure he was there on time to which I asked “are you usually punctual” to which he replied that he’s known in his friend group for being late for everything so the fact that he ran over and was sweating was so cute, it’s like he realllly wanted to make sure a good impression.
For context while the way he texts is very engaged and reflective that he really thinks about my responses but I would say he’s a bit under expressive so I was curious to meet him to see what he was really like in person. I wasn’t sure if that’s just how he texts or if he was really like that.
We get to our table and have 3hours of non stop conversation about normal first date topics but it was honestly the best first date I had ever been on. We haven’t been flirtatious or sexually suggestive with each other at all it was really just getting to know each other and having fun which was honestly so refreshing.
He was even being really cute and doing sweet little things. Like for example he asked what music I was into and when I expressed being into kinda sad lover girl songs 😭 (he’s Chinese and I’m African American) he sent me a really cute and sappy song by a popular chinese artist and also found and sent the English translation of the lyrics so I could listen to it and follow along.
We stay until closing and walk outside of the restaurant. He asked how I was getting home and I told him that I was meeting up with some friends at an event so was gonna call a Uber. He said he would wait with me. I called my car and he then asked to see it so he could see the license plate and be on the lookout for it. We’re standing next to each other on the sidewalk and as I’m handing him my phone he very subtly moves his arm around my waist while looking at the license number 🥺 it was like the same vibes as when guys do the whole arm around the shoulder thing in movie theatres to subtly break the touch barrier for the first time and I subtly leaned into it.
Even though I didn’t acknowledge it and neither of us said anything I was SO HAPPY. Like I said we hadn’t been flirtatious or suggestive at all so him doing that was a great nod at the growth of comfortablity and acknowledgment that he enjoyed our date as much as I did.
We just kept talking while waiting for my car and when the car came he walked me to the curb and waved over the car for me. When the car approached cradled me a bit closer than just the hand on my waist and I didn’t expect it but he gave me a really sweet kiss. After that level of comfortablity I went back in for a deeper kiss cuz I was tipsy from the drinks we had and couldn’t help myself 🫣 he pulled back shortly after quite respectfully and when he did I asked if he wanted to come with me to the event. He respectfully declined because he had work to finish at home (the next day after catching up he communicated that that night after our date he was up till 2am doing work) and then opened the cab door and put me in.
Since our date he’s been a bit more expressive and for the first time actually apologized for taking a while to reply. We’ve been communicating as normal since and I’m just really smitten. I’ve been on lots of dates but haven’t felt a connection like this since my last relationship. Still trying to maintain a grounded mindset and not idealize him (it’s still early) but I’m really excited to get to know him more and see where it goes. Just wanted to post about this because I feel like I see lots of posts hating on dating apps and wanted to share that there are great guys out there for us that will treat us well! 🩷