Norton anthology of world literature ueda akinari
Kingkiller Chronicle
2011.07.12 22:37 Kingkiller Chronicle
This subreddit is dedicated to everything related to The Kingkiller Chronicle, a fantasy trilogy by Patrick Rothfuss, telling the biography of "Kvothe", an adventurer, arcanist and musician.
2024.06.06 18:34 lbabinz [eShop] Weekly Digital Switch Game Sale (Mega Extreme Fun Sale, more)
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2024.06.05 02:52 Construction-Human TEXTBOOKS FOR ENG2850
 | Selling Norton Anthology World Literature Volumes D and E if anyone needs submitted by Construction-Human to Baruch [link] [comments] Used for professor Brian Gempp’s ENG 2850 class $25 for both |
2024.06.03 06:16 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs. J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023
 | Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs. J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023 https://preview.redd.it/q7j5uwgq8a4d1.jpg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=776403969a789e155c3aae787a6b0ab7d239492c There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment. A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances. STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.” USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents. THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers. WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY” In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.” In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context. FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category. In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war. UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish. Additional Comments by the author: Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness. At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged. Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research. To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation. Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics. The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation. “A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site. https://agreaterreality.com For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available. https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/ https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/ |
2024.06.03 06:14 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs.
J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023
There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment.
A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE
When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances.
STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY
Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.”
USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE
As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents.
THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT
An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers.
WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY”
In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.”
In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context.
FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES
Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category.
In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war.
UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY
In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish.
Additional Comments by the author:
Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness.
At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged.
Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research.
To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation.
Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics.
The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation.
“A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site.
https://agreaterreality.com
For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/
https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/
2024.06.03 06:11 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs.
| | Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs. J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2024 https://preview.redd.it/i9m5pkkv7a4d1.jpg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9aa34e5f1b876459a8902a136f3463c9eead4abe There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment. A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances. STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.” USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents. THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers. WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY” In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.” In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context. FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category. In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war. UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish. Additional Comments by the author: Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness. At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged. Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research. To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation. Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics. The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation. “A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site. https://agreaterreality.com For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available. https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/ https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/ |
2024.06.03 06:10 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs.
| | . https://preview.redd.it/r6vjkhvm7a4d1.jpg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=727a4be5f63dcb83752dd8a6b2b6f229b0b49462 J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023 There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment. A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances. STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.” USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents. THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers. WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY” In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.” In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context. FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category. In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war. UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish. Additional Comments by the author: Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness. At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged. Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research. To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation. Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics. The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation. “A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site. https://agreaterreality.com For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available. https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/ https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/ |
2024.06.03 06:08 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs.
| | https://preview.redd.it/igq45zoc7a4d1.jpg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61963d2ea119928d7a269eb1fc5b57399d014f30 Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs. J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023 There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment. A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances. STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.” USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents. THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers. WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY” In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.” In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context. FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category. In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war. UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish. Additional Comments by the author: Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness. At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged. Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research. To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation. Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics. The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation. “A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site. https://agreaterreality.com For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available. https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/ https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/ |
2024.06.03 06:06 Contactunderground Dueling Paradigms: Perhaps a Counterintelligence Model is Better than a Scientific One to Study UFOs.
| | https://preview.redd.it/ppkrgy7y6a4d1.jpg?width=254&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13a80c974780a678e5a5d7a5c91a26410c0ebb87 J Burkes MD 2020, edited 2023 There are important reasons why UFOs and other associated phenomena labeled as “paranormal” are not studied by mainstream academic science. It is not realistic to expect that professional scientists could adequately investigate flying saucers even if they attempted to do so. This is not only because the scientific establishment is under the economic control of ruling elites that in my opinion view flying saucers as a profound threat to their power. In addition until very recently, if scientific researchers dared to openly declare UFOs to be a subject worthy of investigations and then initiated them, those scientists would surely lose institutional funding thus ending their careers. It is important to note that the newly established Galileo Project relies on private non-institutional funding and is seen as highly controversial by the scientific establishment. A POWERFUL TELEPATHIC INTELLIGENCE When addressing flying saucers, we are dealing with powerful non-human intelligences that in my experience are totally telepathic. They are not only smarter than us, but they also choose to deliberately keep secret who they truly are and why they do what they do. Science can’t create experiments to study them because the so-called aliens almost always stage encounters with us exclusively on their terms. Establishing scientifically controlled conditions required for experimentation is impossible under these circumstances. STRIVING FOR MORE OPENNESS AND EQUALITY Many contact experiencers describe interacting with UFO intelligence on an ongoing basis. I consider myself an experiencer as well. As such, we can strive to negotiate with these non-human forces hoping to achieve more openness and equality in our relationships with them. But this is something professional science can’t do because it is designed to investigate objective mechanisms of the natural world. The actions of a mysterious non-human intelligence can in no way be described as “objective.” USING THE TOOLS OF SCIENCE As flying saucer investigators, we use the tools of science to study UFO intelligence. As experiencers with ongoing encounters we have opportunities to make detailed observations under a wide range of circumstances. We may employ technology that has been created by science such as video cameras, night vision scopes, telescopes, and electromagnetic field detectors. These devices help us generate data, but we analyze this data not as academic scientists do, say working in a laboratory with strict technical protocols. Instead we operate in ways similar to criminal investigators or intelligence agents. THE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE MODEL MAY BE A BETTER FIT An even better paradigm, in my opinion, is to view our research within the Intelligence-Counterintelligence model first put forward two decades ago by the talented intelligence analyst Val Germann. Prominent UFO investigators sadly ignore his work, like that of so many other important thinkers in this field. I have modified his 1990s analysis to serve the needs of what I imagine will be a future social movement addressing the challenge of flying saucers. WORKING FOR A “HIGHER INTELLIGENCE AGENCY” In a certain sense the entire flying saucer subculture, our videos, books, the oh-so-many entertaining talks by celebrities often called “leaders”, can be viewed as being “agents of influence” working for a “higher intelligence agency.” The phrase “higher intelligence agency” was coined by Dr. Jacques Vallee in his classic work, “Messengers of Deception.” In my opinion, Vallee’s important research should be carefully studied and discussed by UFO activists, experiencers and investigators,. Alas, many flying saucer fans ignore his radical analysis. Unfortunately, many flying saucer enthusiasts would prefer to argue over the latest video posted on YouTube rather than to reflect on how we are interacting with UFOs in a broad psychosocial context. FLYING SAUCERS THREATEN ALL TERRESTRIAL ELITES Fortunately a growing number of observers now understand that our determination to uncover the truth is opposed by all terrestrial elites. And these powerful groups empower special operatives, the so-called “control groups” to keep a lid on the UFO situation. In my experience, their clandestine operations have targeted UFO enthusiasts, especially experiencers, for surveillance and even “dirty tricks.” Alleged military abductions of contact experiencers referred to as Milabs (if such attacks are real) would fall into this targeted category. In some extreme cases, the control groups might even deal with us as if we were “enemy agents” in a war like situation. This stance, although extremely unenlightened from my point of view, has a kind of logic to it. There are many well-documented accounts within the UFO literature that describe conflict between terrestrial armed forces and flying saucers. Those that promote friendship and cooperation are possibly viewed by some elements within the control groups as giving “comfort to an enemy” in an undeclared war. UFOs AND THOSE THAT STUDY THEM ARE NOT THE ENEMY In my opinion, we as UFO witnesses, contact experiencers, and seasoned investigators are not anybody’s enemy. We are truth seekers that have encountered something truly amazing, a phenomenon that is undeniably a great mystery. And as we attempt to solve this enigma, we should search for peaceful life affirming ways to understand better not only what UFOs are, but also how our civilization might be able to evolve by interacting with them. This goes way beyond what professional science should be asked to accomplish. Additional Comments by the author: Hundreds of years ago, the Christian religious establishment considered science to be “heretical” when it served as a champion for the truth against forces of ignorance and superstition. Now professional science serves the power elites and refuses to take an interest in anomalies that just might hold the key to solving great mysteries. The greatest mystery of all might be what is the nature of consciousness. At the end of the 19th century, the scientific establishment lived in a mental universe in which Newtonian mechanics was viewed as a complete explanation of the cosmos. One prominent physicist boasted that only the next set of decimal points in old calculations needed to be worked out. Then within two decades, relativity and quantum mechanics burst forth on the scene. And with these discoveries all modern electronics, computers, space travel and the creation of a new scientific paradigm was forged. Alas, professional science has become the servant of power, but that too can change. ESP, UFOs, ghosts, and a host of other subjects, now designated as the “Contact Modalities” by author Rey Hernandez, await the attention of professional science. The struggle to change the agenda of instituional science will not be an easy one. This is because academic institution-based research is controlled by corporate agendas. The control system is maintained by political and academic operatives that control funding for research. To explore the Contact Modalities in their complexities will require a new generation of scientists who refuse to be stifled by the institutional imperatives that serve the corporate and oligarchic interests. This next generation will need to focus on consciousness and accept that possibility that consciousness and not mass/energy is the wellspring of creation. Institutional science has become a kind of materialist secular religion that has been called scientism. Anomalies that contradict existing theories of causation and mind-matter separation are denied. As mentioned above, maverick scientists are disciplined with loss of funding when they commit the heresy of merely expressing an interest in the forbidden topics. The Foundation for Research into Extraterrestrial and Extraordinary Encounters (FREE) released in 2018 a detailed study of contact experiencers called “Beyond UFOs.” I serve as a medical consultant for this group. FREE co-founder Rey Hernandez has now organized a new research team that involves maverick members of the academic community called the Contact and Consciousness Research Institute (CCRI). Its mission is to explore the central role of consciousness, not only in the flying saucer phenomenon, but also in other anomalous phenomena. These anomalous events include Near Death Experiences, remote viewing, out-of-body experiences, ghosts, and channeling. In 2022, CCRI published a multivolume anthology called A Greater Reality with Rey Hernandez as editor. This book explores the Contact Modalities within a paradigm where consciousness, not mass/energy, is the wellspring of creation. “A Greater Reality, Volumes I and II are now available to be read as pdf files without charge at the CCRI web site. https://agreaterreality.com For those curious to learn more about Val Germann’s Counterintelligence model for UFO investigations, the following links are available. https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/ https://tormance.wordpress.com/val-germann/ |
2024.05.31 15:55 intercostalspaces The Norton Anthology of American Literature (Package 1: Volumes A and B), 10th Edition -Tenth Ed EPUB Plus Converted PDF
 | submitted by intercostalspaces to ANYPDF [link] [comments] |
2024.05.31 15:40 intercostalspaces The Norton Anthology of American Literature (Package 2: Volumes C, D, E), 10th Edition - Tenth Ed EPUB + Converted PDF + KINDLE ISBN: 9780393884432, 9780393886047
 | submitted by intercostalspaces to ANYPDF [link] [comments] |
2024.05.30 14:07 goodsideee REQUEST The Norton Anthology of American Literature, 10th Edition
Specifically The Norton Anthology of American Literature, 10th Edition, Volumes A and B, W.W. Norton Company, New York, 2017 – ISBN: 978-0-393-62154-9
TYIA
submitted by goodsideee to FreeTextBook [link] [comments]
TYIA
2024.05.28 03:24 ScreamZoneCentral Need English textbook!!!
Does anyone know where to find "The Norton Anthology of World Literature" Volume F, Third edition?
I CANNOT keep working off of internet archive to pass this class :')
submitted by ScreamZoneCentral to FreeTextBook [link] [comments]
I CANNOT keep working off of internet archive to pass this class :')
2024.05.27 00:03 Mysterious_Kale4210 Books for Sale - English, Classics, Labour, & Linguistics
Anne of Green Gables - $10.00 Sisters of The Revolution - $15.00 The Remains of the Day - $15.00 A Taste of Honey - $5.00 Ancillary Justice - $17.00 The Norton Anthology of English Literature Volume 1 - $50.00 The Norton Anthology of English Literature Volume 2 - $50.00 Talking the Talk - $30.00
All in fairly good condition as they have been used. If interested please let me know!
submitted by Mysterious_Kale4210 to brocku [link] [comments]
All in fairly good condition as they have been used. If interested please let me know!
2024.05.23 15:23 Throwawayhelp174 My parents ruined my life and tell me I did it.
I know this is very long but please bear with me.
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
submitted by Throwawayhelp174 to DadForAMinute [link] [comments]
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
2024.05.23 15:23 Throwawayhelp174 My parents ruined my life and tell me I did it.
I know this is very long but please bear with me.
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
submitted by Throwawayhelp174 to emotionalsupport [link] [comments]
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
2024.05.23 15:23 Throwawayhelp174 My parents ruined my life and tell me I did it.
I know this is very long but please bear with me.
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
submitted by Throwawayhelp174 to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
2024.05.23 15:16 Throwawayhelp174 My parents ruined my life and tell me I did it.
I know this is very long but please bear with me.
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
submitted by Throwawayhelp174 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I (18 F) am a grade 12 student from India. Two years ago, as is custom, i was given the choice to pick between science(STEM education), commerce(Chartered accountant, Law etc.) and Humanities/Arts. Except that i was never given the choice. My parents chose STEM for me saying it would help build my future. I faint at the site of blood so medical was immediately ruled out. what remained was engineering. And so i was pushed to start classes for engineering exam JEE in my 10th grade. if you check online, jee is one of the most difficult exams in the world.
A little bit more about me: Im a writer with 3 articles published in anthologies and 100+ works to my name. I have won prizes in school for the same. I am also great at literature, language and history subjects. I always took an interest in studying psychology and various psych cases. I graduated with 95 percent in 10th grade and was the headgirl of my school in my final year. I also organised a huge event in school with the help of very few people. All in all, i was your typical grade A student, always quiet, always listening to parents. I also suffered dpression in this time and reaslised i had adhd.
Starting JEE classes in grade 10th(i started a year earlier) was very difficult for me. I knew from day one that i wouldnt be able to do this. I pleaded to my parents to let me practice the subjects i was good at. I knew arts wouldn't lead me to anything too great but i knew being in engineering was not right for me. I was intent on giving the SATs and flying abroad to get a good degree in my interests. I was repeatly refused.
Come grade 11, i tried to except my fate and work hard. Nothing worked. I wrote a letter to my parents telling them I couldnt do it. They refused to accept it, saying it would be alright even if i did engineering from the lowest of colleges. I relented.
The next two years were spent in an endless cycle of this. There were times when i strayed but i worked hard to bring myself back on track. The dpression only got worse. I started lying to my parents about marks because i was unable to handle all the pressure they forced on me everytime I didnt do well. It all seemed endless.
Then 10 months ago, my classes got over. The final few months of self study and hardwork were here. I studied 12 hours a day, 14 at times. I got up at night trying to finish a part of my studies. i slept 5 hours a day. I really did try hard. but it didn't work. I failed the first attempt of Jee in February.
My 12th grade exams began. I had lost all hope. i tried to study what i could, not being able to do much. And then came the rest of the exams. Every exam that came and went, i tried. i hoped. i worked as much as my heart could. I started having breakdowns. I couldn't do it. Today my very last exam got over. My 12th grade results came out to be 62 percent. I have secured admission in a few reputed colleges but none too great.
There is a way to increase my grade 12 marks. I have to reattempt the exam in July. My college begins in August. I was honestly looking forward to finally having 2 months off before having to go back to studying what i hate to my core. My parents are now blaming me for everything that went wrong. They are asking me to give the re exam.
I honestly do not wish too. I feel like taking a break for two months will help me clear my head and refocus. im unsure how much my 12th grade marks may matter. I understand they are low but most colleges require a 60 percent aggregate which i have managed to cross. I think giving the exams again will do me no good.
But everytime i refuse, my parents get really mad at me saying i do not care about my future and life. My mother has managed to say some really horrible things to me by now. One of them being that i am "Stubborn" and "Arrogant" and my attitude is what made me do so bad. Honestly, i may be projecting but i am also blaming my parents for all that happened and having a hard time thinking anything other than how maybe listening to me two years ago may have given me better results than this.
I do not know what to do anymore. I am so tired. I just want to live better.
2024.05.19 15:01 ibid-11962 Writing and Publishing Eragon [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #6]
As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on details about the writing of Murtagh. This installment will focus on The Writing and Publication of Eragon, including the early abandoned starts and drafts the preceded the self-published version and Christopher's journey towards getting traditionally published. In this post the topics are arranged in almost a chronological order. The next post will focus on the writing of the Fractalverse, and so will be posted on /Fractalverse.
submitted by ibid-11962 to Eragon [link] [comments]
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on details about the writing of Murtagh. This installment will focus on The Writing and Publication of Eragon, including the early abandoned starts and drafts the preceded the self-published version and Christopher's journey towards getting traditionally published. In this post the topics are arranged in almost a chronological order. The next post will focus on the writing of the Fractalverse, and so will be posted on /Fractalverse.
Writing and Publishing Eragon
The Original Idea[When I start to write a new book] I have an image. There’s always a strong emotional component to the image, and it’s that emotion that I want to convey to readers. Everything I do after that, all of the worldbuilding, plotting, characterization, writing, and editing—all of it—is done with the goal of evoking the desired reaction from readers. In the case of the Inheritance Cycle, the image was that of a young man finding a dragon egg (and later having the dragon as a friend). [10]
Who's your favorite character to write? Well, for me, it's the dragon Saphira. She's the reason I got into writing a dragon. She came first? She came before Eragon? Like she was the catalyst? The relationship came first, her and Eragon. [33]
I was specifically inspired by a YA book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville, which is a delightful book. I just loved that idea so much of finding a dragon egg, I was like, "Well, what sort of a world would a dragon come from?" And I knew I wanted the sort of bond between rider and dragon that Anne McCaffrey had, but I wanted the intelligence of the dragons that you find elsewhere, and the language and the magic. And I wanted sparkly scales because it just seemed like dragons are fabulous creatures and they ought to have sparkly scales. That's the fun thing about writing your own books. You can make them exactly the way you want to make them, and hopefully then that appeals to the audience as well. [30]
All of that kind of was swirling around in my head, and I wanted to write about dragons in a way that kind of combined a lot of elements in a way that, "I like this", and "I like this piece", and "I like this piece", but I kind of wanted to have all these different pieces in one type of dragon, and no one had quite done it exactly the way I wanted. [30]
I live in Montana, and our library is an old Carnegie or Rockefeller library, and especially back in the 90s, it didn't have that many books. So once I read all the fantasy in the library, I thought I had read all the fantasy there was to read. Because I was not the smartest kid in the world sometimes. And I kind of thought, "Well, it's the library. They have all the books that exist, right? All the books that matter are in the library." And I really had no idea what to read after that. So I decided to start writing myself and to try and write the sort of story that I would enjoy reading. And of course, what I enjoyed reading was books about flying on dragons and fighting monsters and having adventures. [35]
Reading and literature was always important in our family. My father's mother was a professor of comparative literature and wrote books on Dante and all sorts of stuff like that. Was the myths and folklore part of your life at this time? Yes, but I should clarify that it wasn't formally introduced to me. It was in the house. People weren't wandering around talking about. It was just like the Aeneid is sitting on the shelf. I would go read things. I have a great uncle. He's 90 now, my mother's uncle. Guy is still sharp as a tack. It's amazing. But he gave me a set of cassette tapes of Joseph Campbell, who did Hero of a Thousand Faces. So that was my exposure to his theories of the monomyth and the eternal hero and all sorts of things like that. That got me very much interested in and thinking about the origins of the fantasy that I was reading because I was reading Tolkien and David Eddings and Anne McCaffrey and Raymond Feist and Jane Yolan and Andre Norton and Brian Jaques, and all of these you know authors who were popular at the time. I was very curious where does this come from. Tolkien, of course, felt like sort of the origin in a lot of cases but then I was discovering that, there are earlier stories that even Tolkien was drawing from. That was really a revelation to me. I really sort of got enamored with it. A lot of fantasy is nostalgic and that appealed to me because I was homeschooled and my family didn't really have a lot of relatives in the area, so I felt very unmoored from the rest of society. I think I was looking for a sense of tradition or continuity with the past and fantasy helped provide that. That's an incredibly articulate thought for a 15-year-old author. Or has that come with age? No, it was something I was feeling at the time. You were conscious of it at the time? Well, listening to the Joseph Campbell stuff, I was looking: Where are our coming of age traditions? Where is the great quest to go on to prove yourself as a young adult, as a man? Where's the great adventure? What do I do in life? Those are all things that are part of the adolescent experience and always have been which is why so many mythic stories about coming of age deal with those questions. I think it's a universal thing. That's why Harry Potter, Eragon, Twilight, all of these have appealed so much because they deal with adolescence. They deal with finding your place in the world as an adult when you're starting as a young adult or a child. [28]
Early Abandoned Starts
I had the original idea, the concept of boy finding dragon egg, and I tried writing a couple of very short versions of Eragon when I was fourteen, and none of them panned out so I stopped writing for a while. [28]Real World Version
What do you remember about the early days of writing “Eragon?” Originally, Eragon was named Kevin and the story was set in the real world. But I only finished around 10 pages. [16]Arya Opening Fantasy Version
I wrote three versions of Eragon before I wrote the version that had the unicorn, which was the first major draft. The first version was set in the real world, and that's why he's named Kevin. And the reason it was set in the real world is I was inspired by Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher, which is set in the real world. [32]
I was specifically inspired by a book called Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville. By the way, Bruce knows this. If you haven't read it, it's a great book about this young man in the real world who, spoiler, goes into an antique shop and buys a stone that ends up turning out to be a dragon egg. And I really loved that idea of a stone that was actually a dragon egg and the young man becoming joined with the dragon. And so I tried writing the story. And I got exactly five pages or six pages into it and I ran into a brick wall, because a boy finding a dragon egg is a good event, but it is not a good story. And I needed to figure out what was going to happen after that. I didn't know that at first. [36]
But then I was going down the rabbit hole of, "Well, if there's a dragon, where did the dragon come from? What if it were an actual fantasy world where the dragons were native?" And then that led me to then write a second beginning--I didn't get very far with this--that was more of a traditional fantasy story, and it opened with Arya and a couple other elves escaping a dungeon with a big battle, and at the very end of the battle, they send the dragon egg away, and Kevin finds it. But I didn't have the rest of the story, so I stopped writing it in that format. [32]Research Break
So I tried writing a second version of the story. So the first version of that story I wrote was set in the real world. Second version was more of like a fantasy world. [36]
I had the original idea when I was fourteen. I even wrote an early version of the story where it was set in the real world. But I soon realized that it was a lot more interesting to have a dragon in a fantastical setting. [8]
I tried writing before and I always failed because I would only get like four to six pages into a story and then I didn't know what to do next. And that was because I didn't actually have my story. All I really had were the inciting incidents, like a boy finds a dragon egg in the middle of a forest. Great. But that's not a story, that's just one event. What happens as a result? So before starting Eragon, I was very methodical about this. I read a whole bunch of books on how to write, how to plot stories. [35]Unused Arya Outline
I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. And I didn't know how to do what I was trying to do. Now, fortunately for me, my parents had noticed that I was getting interested in writing. And all of a sudden, books appeared in the house. There was no comment, no one forced it, these just magically appeared, and I read them. Some of the books that were incredibly helpful to me were these books that were called The Writer's Handbook, which was a collection of essays published each year by The Writer's Digest magazine. I had one from 1998, and I had one from, I think, 1993, or something like that. And there were essays from Stephen King and John Grisham and I think Ursula Le Guin and all sorts of other authors about what it was like to be an author both professionally and creatively. And that was incredibly helpful to me because again, the internet was not a resource. But the book that really made the difference for me was a book called Story by Robert McKee. It's a book for screenwriters and it's all about the structure of story. And up until that moment, I had never really consciously thought about the fact that stories have structure and that you can control that structure for the effect on the readers. So I devoured that book and I said, okay, I'm going to try this again. [36]
Did you very much sit down and study structure and character development and etc? I did. It wasn't a formal course or anything, it's just that my parents started buying these books and they started showing up. In fact, I still have them here on my shelf. This bookcase to my right is full of research books, technical books, language books. I read a book called Story by Robert McKee, which is a screenwriting book, that was and often has been very popular in Hollywood. It's a fairly technical look at story structure. I would never say do everything he says because of course you shouldn't necessarily follow any one formula, but that book really got me thinking about the fact that stories do have structure, which I hadn't really thought about before that. And that one can control that structure, and that this gives you something to work with. Before Eragon, I tried writing a number of stories and I never got past the first four to six pages, ten pages, because I never had the plot. All I would ever have was the inciting incident which, in the case of Eragon, is a young man finds a dragon egg. Ok, fine, but that's not a story. So when I read that book, then I was like wow, so I can control the structure of this. [28]
The problem with all of my early writing was that I’d get an idea and just start — I didn’t actually have a plot. But I was a pretty methodical kid, so I started reading about how to write. Fortunately, my parents are observant, and these kinds of books magically began appearing in the house. And I read all of them. [16]
What games have taught you to be a better writer either in creating characters or worldbuilding or plotting even? Now, I'm going to be slightly unkind here, and I apologize if the author [David Wingrove] is listening to this, but there were a couple of novels based off of Myst. And I was such a fan of the series that I got the books, and I started reading them. And my first thought was, "I could do better than this." And so I decided to rewrite the first Myst novel. And I created a document in MS Word, and I got exactly three sentences into my rewrite. And I thought to myself, "okay, I think I can do this, but I could never sell it. So I better go write something of my own." And the next thing I did was Eragon. So video games kind of had a direct influence on me writing. But actually reading something that I felt was not particularly successful was such an inspiration. Because it was like, "this got published, I know I can at least get to this level." And it was published. And then maybe I can shoot for a little bit higher. [pause] I think some people have had that experience with Eragon. [26]
So at this point, I was 15, that's when I graduated from high school and I was very methodical about it because I hate failing. So I said, okay, I'm going to create a fantasy world. And I did that. And then I said, I'm gonna plot out an entire book in this fantasy world. And I did that too. And then I said, but I'm not gonna write this. This is just a thought exercise. I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna stick it in a drawer. And I still have that to this day, that world and that story, I still have it sitting in a drawer somewhere. [36]
Then I spent some time and I created an entire fantasy world and I plotted out an entire fantasy novel in that world and I did not write it. I just stuck it in a drawer and that's where it's been sitting for 25 years now. And then I just did that to prove to myself that I could plot out an entire book. [35]
Before writing Eragon, again I was very methodical even as a teenager, I created an entire fantasy world. Wrote pages and pages about the worldbuilding, and then I plotted out an entire story in that world just to prove to myself that I could plot a story, create a world, and then I didn't write it. I put it aside. I still have it all saved. Put it in a drawer. [28]
Kevin
Writing The First Full DraftAnd then I decided okay now I'm going to plot out a trilogy, because all great fantasy stories are trilogies. I'm going to do it as the heroic monomyth, because that is, at least my understanding back then, is this is one of the oldest forms of stories. I know it works on a general sense. It's going to give me a safety net, and then I'm going to write the first book as a practice book just to see if I'm capable of producing something that's three, four, five hundred pages long. And that's what I did. That was about two and a half months of worldbuilding, plotting, creating this. Then I wrote the first book and that was Eragon. That was my practice book. I never actually planned on publishing Eragon. It was only after I'd put so much work into it and my parents read it that then we proceeded with it. I was aware of story structure. I continue to read lots of books on it. [28]The First Draft
And then version three is the version that everyone generally knows. And that's where I spent the time to plot out the whole series before writing, because having a idea of where you're going seems to help with the writing, at least for me. Usually. [32]
I originally saw Eragon as a practice novel, which is part of why it’s a very typical hero’s story. I knew that structure worked and it gave me the safety net I needed. [16]
The first draft went super fast. It went really fast because I had no idea what I was doing. And I just wrote that sucker. I wrote the first 60 pages by hand with ballpoint pen, cause I didn't know how to type on a computer. And then by the time I typed all that into the computer, I knew how to type. I did the rest in the computer. But this was back in the day when computers were fairly new. We had a Mac classic, which only had two megabytes of RAM. And the problem is that the operating system chewed up some of that memory. And my book file was around two megabytes large. So I actually had to split the book into two because I couldn't open the whole file on the computer or the computer would crash. So I had to open half the book and then close that and then open the other half. [35]
Once I finished the first draft, I was super excited and I thought, "well all of these things on how to write say that you should read your own book and see if there's any tweaks you wanna make." But I was really excited because I was getting to read my own book for the first time, and I thought this is gonna be awesome. And it didn't take very long while reading it to realize that it was awful. It was horrible. And just to give you an idea of just how bad that first draft was, in the very first draft of Eragon, Eragon wasn't named Eragon, Eragon was named Kevin. And there was also a unicorn in that first draft at one point, so you know it wasn't very good. [35]Releasing the Kevin Cut
If I heard correctly as I was reading, Eragon wasn't originally called Eragon? No, in the first draft of the book he was called Kevin. There's a reason! Look I have an explanation for it, okay. The explanation is that my original inspiration was Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher which is set in the real world. The original version of Eragon that I was developing was set in the real world and when I decided that it would make more sense to have a world where the dragons were native to and switched it over to this fantasy world and began to develop that, I just kept the name that I'd been working with, which was Kevin. Naming a main character is hard, especially when you get used to a certain name. I don't want to say I was lazy. I want to focus on the world building and writing the first draft and I'll worry about the name later. [28]
There is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. And that was my first draft. And in that first draft, Eragon encountered a unicorn in the Beor Mountains on the way to the Varden. And the unicorn touches him and essentially affects the transformation that he goes under during the blood oath ceremony with the elves in the second book, in Eldest. And his whole storyline with the Varden once he gets to Farthen Dûr is completely different because now he has these abilities and he and a team of people ends up getting sent on a scouting mission in the dwarven tunnels to go find the Urgal army and then they have to flee back through the tunnels to warn everyone of this huge army and I had a underground cave full of lava, and multiple shades, and a huge Urgal army. There was there was a lot of dramatic stuff. Finding the Ra'zac in Dras-Leona was completely different. This is the draft where Eragon was named Kevin. [32]
I haven't thought about that version in ages. I think Arya was awake all the way from Gil'ead to Farthen Dûr in that version. That's right, I had to completely rewrite that. It's an unpleasant ride for her. No, no, no, she was awake and healed. She was awake. That's right, God, I had to rewrite most of the last chunk of the book now that I think back, it's been a long time. [32]
The worst thing is, I think Kevin would actually take a larger budget [to adapt to film]. No, stop. Why would Kevin take a larger budget? Because the battles were bigger, there was more stuff going on. Seriously, there were more creatures, more travel. Yeah, I think Kevin would actually take more money than Eragon. [32]
I started Eragon with the cockamamie idea that if travel took a long time for the characters, I should take a long time describing it so that the reader felt like it took a long time. Which meant that there was pages and pages of description of landscape and travel that, of course, my parents and then later my editor at Random House just said, "we don't need this. Let's just take this out." That was the right choice. [34]
You said that Eragon's name was originally Kevin. Was Eragon's name originally Kevin? It was. And I really regret I didn't stick with it because I think that as many books as I've sold, the series would have been at least twice as successful if it had been about the adventures of the great dragon writer Kevin. Especially just seeing Kevin on the front cover. Imagine the appeal to the modern youth. Kevin the dragon writer. I mean Eragon, it's confusing with Aragorn. Oregano. Oregon. But Kevin, Kevin stands out, Kevin's original. That's why I had to move away from it. [31]
So do you wanna share some of those drafts with us, Christopher? Just kidding. Well, I actually had a fan reach out to me. He's one of the big members of the online fan community on Reddit and elsewhere. And he's kind of interested in some of these early versions from almost an archivist point of view, a scholarly point of view. Which is certainly an interesting idea. I mean, there is an early version of Eragon that no one's seen, that even my editor at Random House never saw. ... I cannot describe how much the Internet absolutely needs for you to put out an edition of Eragon that just says Kevin. Should this be like Mistborn or Way of Kings Prime? This is the Kevin edition of Eragon. The Kevin cut. Oh my god. It's "Eragon: Kevin's Version". ... We absolutely need Kevin's Version of Eragon. That's something we need. It's bad. It's bad. Look, there are certainly people who can look at Eragon, the version we have now, and say, "we can tell this was a younger writer." I look at it and I can tell. I could do so much more now with the material than I could then. But if you think that about the published version of Eragon, man, if you saw the unpublished version, the early version, it really is the raw writing of a homeschooled 15-year-old, who wrote a 500 page book about Kevin. I don't know, the internet is very unhinged these days. They would love this. It needs to exist somewhere on the internet. [32]
Publishing
EditingSo I wrote Eragon, and then I read the first draft and it wasn't particularly good, so I spent a good chunk of a year rewriting it as best as I could. I didn't know what I was doing but I was trying. I've heard it said that being displeased with your own work is actually a good thing because it means you know what is good work, and if you're not happy with your work because it's not good, it means you could at least have a goal to shoot for. If you read your work and you're like this is the best thing that's ever been written, you're never going to get any better. [28]Self-publishing
But I could see that the book needed work, so I decided to try to fix it as best I could, and I spent the better part of that year revising, rewriting, changing Kevin to Eragon. And then I gave the book to my parents and fortunately for me, they actually enjoyed what I had done. And they said, we think you have something, let's try to take it out into the world and see if anyone else wants to read it. [35]
[We] decided to self-publish the book as a joint venture since we didn't know anyone in the publishing world. That was again a good chunk of a year where we were editing the book as best the three of us could. Preparing it for publication, formatting, I drew the cover. [28]Promotion
Now you have to understand, my parents were always self-employed, have always been self-employed and we were always looking for things we could work on together as a family business. And Eragon was like the perfect opportunity for that. They'd had some experience self-publishing a couple of small educational books my mom had worked on. Because she was a trained Montessori teacher, and so she was trying to use that expertise to write some material herself. But I don't even think we sold 100 copies of those. So we spent another good chunk of a year preparing the book for publication with doing more editing, doing the layout, designing the cover. [35]
The first set of 50 books showed up while we were watching Roman Polanski's Macbeth, which seemed fitting because those first 50 books were all miscut from the printer. And as a result, we had to rip the covers off, send them back for credit from the printer, and then burn the insides of the books. So we had a proper book burning in our yard, and I actually saved some of those burnt pages just as a memory of that event. [35]
Self publishing wasn’t as viable then as a pathway to a career as an author as it is today. Why did it work for you? Everything completely changed because of e-readers. If you wanted to read an e-book, you had to have a PDF on your computer. There were no distribution systems like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Back then, the lowest amount you could print and not have the book be too expensive was probably about 10,000 copies. But we were fortunate because print-on-demand had just become a thing, so books were just printed as needed. Self publishing is a lot easier these days. Of course, today’s marketplace is a lot more crowded as a result. [16]
My family and I were going around the western half of the United States with the self-published edition of Eragon. I was cold calling schools, libraries, and bookstores to set up events. I was doing two to three one-hour long presentations every single day for months on end at various times. You have to understand that because my parents were self-employed, the time they took to help prepare Eragon for publication was time they weren't working on other freelance projects that would have been bringing in money. So by the time we actually had Eragon printed and in hand, if it had taken another two to three months to start turning a profit, we were going to have to sell our house, move to a city, and get any jobs we could. Because of that financial pressure I was willing to do things I probably would have been too uncomfortable to do otherwise. Like doing all those presentations. [28]Getting traditionally published
We were doing a lot of self-promotion. I was cold calling schools and libraries and talking them into letting me do presentations. And that worked pretty well because the librarians could take pre-orders for us. If we went into a bookstore, by hand selling, I could maybe sell anywhere between 13 to 40 books in a day. 42 was like the best I ever did, but usually it was around 15 or so books, which just didn't cover printing costs and travel and food and all of that. But going into the schools, we were doing about 300 books a day, which was excellent. [34]
Can you tell me a little bit about how you and your family self-published the first Eragon book and what marketing strategies you did? Oh, it was all nepotism, you know. I wouldn't have gotten published without my parents. There's nothing as powerful as a publishing company that's four people sitting around a kitchen table in the middle of rural Montana. So yeah, without Nepotism, I wouldn't have gotten published. You have to embrace something like Nepotism if you really wanna succeed in today's world. In fact, people don't realize that you actually get a Nepotism card. There's a secret club. You go to New York and there's huge network opportunities. There's branches of the club everywhere, especially strong in Hollywood, of course, in music. Taylor Swift is an example. So if you can get into the nepotism club, I won't say you're guaranteed success, but you got about 80% chance of actually making it that you wouldn't have otherwise. Do you think your mom and dad would be willing to be my mom and dad? No, absolutely not. No, no. You don't have brown hair, so it doesn't work. You have to have brown hair to be a Paolini. Okay, I'll try to find a different way in, I guess. [31]
So you were very much looking for that partnership? Well we were wary. But the thing is is we were selling enough copies of Eragon that to scale it up we were going to have to start duplicating all the things that a regular publisher does. We were actually looking at partnering with a book packager or a book distributor just to get more copies out. To do everything a traditional publisher could do for me was a huge amount of work so it made sense to pair with Random House or someone else at that point. But it was still nerve-wracking because the book was being a success and then handing it off to another company, we didn't know if it was just going to end up in the remainder bin two weeks after it came out. [28]Gaining Confidence
People in the book world were starting to take notice because of course, if you've been to public school, you may remember the Scholastic Book Fairs and all of the Scholastic reps in the different schools were seeing me come to the schools and selling these books and hearing the kids talk about it. And it was getting attention. So we would have gotten a publisher, I would have gotten a publisher eventually. [34]
The book sold enough copies and bounced around enough that we'd heard that Scholastic—because Scholastic does all the Book Fairs in schools in the US—was interested and that we might get an offer from them. Before that happened though... [34]
Eventually another author by the name of Carl Hiaasen ended up buying a copy of the self-published edition of Eragon in a local bookstore. Which now that I'm older, I'm rather shocked at because it takes a lot to get me to buy a self-published book. It's got to look really good. [35]
Carl Hiaasen wrote the young adult book Hoot as well as many adult books. He comes up to Montana, I think he's got a vacation home here in the valley, but he was up here fly fishing and he bought a copy of Eragon for his then 12 year old son, Ryan. And fortunately for me, Ryan liked the book and Carl recommended it to Random House and it sort of bounced around among the editors for a couple of months before my editor-to-be grabbed it and said, "Yes, we will. I want to take a chance on this teenage author and we're going to offer him money for a trilogy that only exists in his head and see what happens." [34]
How did you find an agent? We had the offer from Random House, and like two days later, we had the offer from Scholastic. And so we knew we didn't know what we didn't know. My dad participated in some online self-publishing forum sort of thing. So he posted up a question and said, look, this is the situation we're in. Does anyone have any advice? And another one of the members said, "well, I was just at this publishing writing conference and there was this young agent there and I was really impressed with his presentation, or him talking about the industry." So my dad got his information online and did what you're never supposed to do, which is he called the agent directly and left this long rambling voicemail message because it was lunchtime in New York and you take your lunch breaks in New York. And only at the end of the message did he say, "oh, yes, and by the way, we have two competing offers from two publishing houses." And when I asked him, I said, "why did you do that?" He said, "well, because if he's any good as an agent, he's going to listen to the whole message before he deletes it." And we found out later that he nearly deleted the message. Because my dad started off like, "I got this teenage son, and he's written this book", and yeah, that, OK. So it was like two hours later we got a call from Simon. And Simon said overnight me a copy of Eragon and if I like it I'll represent you. And Simon has been my agent for 21 years now. [34]
It was a big risk for Random House. And it was a big risk for me because the book was successful, self-published, and we knew that giving it to a publisher, you lose the rights to a degree, and most books don't turn a profit, and it could have just ended up in the remainder bin. So what really worked in my favor is that Random House, and specifically Random House Children's Books, and specifically the imprint of Knopf, which is where I'm at were looking for their own Harry Potter, essentially. Scholastic was publishing Harry Potter. And Scholastic also gave me an offer for Eragon, but I could tell that Random House was the one that really loved the book and Scholastic was doing it because they thought it was a good business opportunity. Scholastic actually offered more money than Random House. But I went with Random House and it was the right choice. And I found out after the fact that Chip Gibson who was the head of the children's department at the time basically chose to use Eragon as sort of something to rally the troops and put the entire children's division behind it, and I was the very fortunate recipient of that love and attention. Which of course would only get you so far if people didn't enjoy reading the book. But fortunately for me, they did a great job marketing it and then people actually enjoyed the book. Which is why when people ask me how to get published, it's like, what am I supposed to say? The answer ultimately is you write a book that people want to read, and that's a facile answer, but it is true. If people want to read it, it makes everything else easier. The agent wants you, the publishers want you, and ultimately the public wants you. [34]
And I didn't realize how much was behind that email, because large publishers do not just casually say, "hey, we want to publish your book". There was a whole plan there, and they had a plan. And so they did. Eragon came out and then I had to figure out how to write a book with everyone expecting the sequel. [36]
So you kind of went and peddled your books at schools, as I understand, right? It seems to have paid off though, because it eventually landed in the hands of bestselling author Carl Hiaasen, but not right away. First, your book got in the hands of his stepson, and the kid liked it so much that he told Hiaasen about it, who then got Eragon fast-tracked with Penguin Random House. I really admire the way that you went for the weakest links, manipulating the minds of our youth and using them to shill your book for you. It's a tried and true marketing strategy from Girl Scout Cookies to coupon books, and I applaud you for your ingenuity. My biggest question here is, do you pay Carl Hiaasen's stepson the agent royalties he so rightfully deserves? He tried to collect one time, but I had to hire a couple of guys to drive him off. But, no, you always go for the weakest link. Back when I was self-published and all that I even tried to get Eragon reviewed by Entertainment Weekly, so I called up the subscription number on the back of the magazine and told them I'd made a mistake and asked them to transfer me over to corporate, and managed to get right to their book reviewer and tried to talk him into reviewing Eragon. So you always go for, as you said, the weakest link. Which is corporate. Ryan, Carl's son, though, yeah, I probably owe him a ridiculous amount of royalties. I'd say so. He made you. Oh, he did, absolutely. Without him, I'd be nothing. I guess the lesson here for aspiring authors is that it's not really about finding your target audience, necessarily. You just have to find your target prolific author's stepson and let the kid take it from there. Yeah, absolutely. As I said, that's part of the nepotism package. The sort of networking inside the industry. This is the stuff that you can never access otherwise, and you'll never get published otherwise. So it's not like you can just grow up in the middle of nowhere in Montana, self-publish a book, and then just become a success, by promoting it. You have to have connections. That's genius. I think you could have had an incredible career in designing loot boxes for mobile games based on how good you are at manipulating the world. Absolutely, microtransactions are God's work. [31]
Was anxiety something you felt moving to this deal with Random House? Was that quite pressuring? Yes, it was a big change to go from writing for yourself as a teenager, homeschooled, living in the middle of nowhere, to knowing that there was a large audience for your next book and that they had expectations. I got criticized quite a bit, critiqued quite a bit when Eragon came out for, shall we say, my lack of experience on the technical side of things with the writing. I'd say some of those were certainly fair critiques. The great advantage of youth is that you don't know how difficult things are and you have a lot of energy. The great disadvantage of youth is you don't have experience, and there's no fixing that aside from time and effort. All of that was definitely in my head when I really started work on Eldest and it was pretty nerve-wracking quite honestly. [28]
When you finished the book, I mean your parents believed in it obviously. Did you too? Or were you like, "You know what, maybe the second book, maybe go all in on the second one?" I didn't feel like I was actually an author until my third book was published. Because the first one, well, that could be a fluke. Well, the second one, yeah, but you know. But once the third book came out, then I was like, okay, maybe I'm actually a writer. But even then, even after I finished the series, I still felt like, okay, now I have to write something that's not Eragon, just to prove that I can. So every book has been its own challenge and has been a way for me to keep feeling like I'm growing as an artist and learning to become a better and better writer. [2]
It took me, I wanna say almost 10 years to feel like I wasn't an imposter and that it wasn't just gonna get yanked away. You know what my dream was when Eragon was was going to get published by Random House? Like this was my pie in the sky because I didn't think it was going to happen. But this was my dream. I did all the math and I was like, man, if I could somehow someday sell 100,000 books, which is impossible. But man, if I could sell 100,000 books, that's a darn good living. Man, I could really make a living off that. I could support a family and 100,000 books. Man, that'd be amazing. And then it kind of took off from there. [33]
Click here to continue to Part 7: Writing the Fractalverse
2024.05.17 19:27 euphoricsk OCR ENGLISH LIT LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP POEMS
 | Is anyone else doing the love and relationship cluster poems and is the new batch going to be on the exam or is it the old cluster? Are these new poems going to be on the paper 2 on Monday? submitted by euphoricsk to GCSE [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 03:28 throw_ra878 Tortured Poets—and wolves?—take us from 1989 TV to reputation TV
 | Amid all my attempts to tie The Tortured Poets Department to literature, poems, and the rest of Taylor Swift’s discography, I missed one of the most obvious references possible. With the song “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” as a play on titles of other works—namely, “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?” and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?—Taylor Swift is calling herself a wolf. submitted by throw_ra878 to GaylorSwift [link] [comments] If Taylor Swift is calling herself a wolf, and that wolf is a dangerous force to be reckoned with, I wondered where else in her filmography or discography Swift has referenced or even identified with wolves, so I set out to see if there is a common (queer) thread tying it together. Swift directly references wolves just three times in her lyrical discography: “Daylight” from Lover and “Guilty as Sin?” and “The Prophecy” from The Tortured Poets Department, plus the indirect reference in the “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” song title, also from Tortured Poets. However, the first time we meet wolves in Swift’s catalog is in the “Out of the Woods” music video from 1989, where our rabbit hole begins. My thesis: Tortured Poets is the mourning warning for what’s to come on reputation (Taylor's Version), and this is tied together by wolves and light versus dark imagery being threaded from 1989 (Taylor’s Version) through Tortured Poets, in addition to the scenery of the woods, underwater, and the beach. All of this is ultimately leading us out of the woods and into the daylight to fully understand reputation (Taylor's Version) through the lens of Tortured Poets. Are we out of the woods yet?We first see wolves in the “Out of the Woods” music video. A pack of snarling wolves is chasing Swift through a dark forest, even shredding her evening gown (hello, "The Alcott") trying to attack her. Once she emerges from the woods, Swift and the wolves run through a snowy landscape, but it becomes unclear whether Swift is running from or with the wolves. By the end of the music video, Swift and the wolves appear to coexist.https://preview.redd.it/677o64llmz0d1.png?width=1754&format=png&auto=webp&s=9275b63cc50f5970a79e616ba179d06b50a85083 Swift re-released 1989 in 2023, and the lyric video for “Out of the Woods (Taylor’s Version)” shows the exact tour visuals from the 1989 World Tour. The visuals show two wolves running through the dark forest along a body of water that shows their reflections. There are multiple “twos” throughout the lyric video (which have been flashed incessantly during the Tortured Poets era) but there are a few other notable things. First, the wolves appear to be ghosts or phantoms, transparent and glowing only in the moonlight. Second, the two wolves emerge from the forest together, then leap from the cliff and turn to dust as the song ends. For reference for anyone who wants to watch all of these:
Swift “finds herself” on a sunny beach. The version of Swift that has braved and endured the trials and tribulations of the forest, fires, and more reunites with this version of herself. This is the last music video of the seven (! and, of course, "seven" is tied up in this theory later on) released during the original 1989 era, which leads us directly to reputation, namely, “Look What You Made Me Do.” What did we make her do?No, Taylor Swift doesn’t reference wolves on reputation or in the song “Look What You Made Me Do,” but reputation is tied to the symbolism of “Out of the Woods.” The LWYMMD music video opens with the version of Swift we saw at the end of OOTW picking up where we left off, except it appears Swift (or at least her reputation, as is displayed on the gravestone) is dead and buried.Wolves typically represent the untamed, wildness, and freedom. In many adages and fables about wolves, there tends to be a duality, either with wolves versus their domesticated counterparts in dogs or good and light versus evil and dark. For Swift to run from then become a wolf signifies a desire to outrun her own identity—something wild and dangerous—only to accept it and find peace in the light. For Swift to have found this version of herself and come to accept it in OOTW only to see it buried in LWYMMD suggests the thing “we made her do” is kill off that version of herself to save her reputation. I interpret this as a dangerous element of Swift’s self, potentially queerness, being so threatening to her reputation that she was forced to bury or conceal it despite thinking she was finally “out of the woods,” grounding the plane we see Taylor saw the wings off at the end of the music video. Aligned with the Karma/lost album theory, Swift’s plans were scrapped and replaced with reputation, and the thing she sought to do—come out—forced another rebirth in LWYMMD. Swift is notably caged in LWYMMD in an orange jumpsuit reminiscent of a prisoner’s, and there is more caged imagery aligned to wolves later in Swift’s lyrics, especially in the Tortured Poets tracks tied to this theory. More on that soon. To bring this full circle, I believe this is the reason 1989 (Taylor’s Version) is beach-themed: Swift is reclaiming the union of her two selves that she should have been able to claim post-1989 originally before the events that inspired reputation came to be. For some more bonus content, the LWYMMD lyric video includes a typewriter that appears to be writing a manuscript for a film or play: https://preview.redd.it/o7l2ipksmz0d1.png?width=2634&format=png&auto=webp&s=69ad0ea3a3ffb81834bb8ba1f41af6ce9edec09e She only saw daylightSwift mentions wolves for the very first time in her lyrics on “Daylight,” the last track of Lover, her first owned album and what is thought to be the “coming out” album. (And, in my opinion, the aesthetic no one noticed that forced her to become a non-functioning alcoholic.)Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I’ve stormed out of every room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now It’s brighter now, nowTo run with the wolves is to live wildly with unbridled freedom, typically against societal norms. In psychology, there is a concept of “women who run with wolves” as women rediscovering their wild and their passions. Several reflections I found on this concept relative to queerness discuss the idea of wolfpacks and tribes, and I see this in “Daylight” as Swift focuses not only on emerging from the darkness herself but bringing someone else with her ("threw out our cloaks and our daggers"), allowing them to abandon the frustration represented by storming out of rooms or the need to run instead of standing in the light. As we know, sadly, Swift returns to the woods in folklore and evermore after another ruining of her “best-laid plans” despite emerging from a “twenty-year dark night” and “throwing out [her cloak and dagger]” in “Daylight.” On The Eras Tour, the folklore and evermore sets take place in the forest at night under a massive moon similar to the one in the “Out of the Woods” lyric video and original tour visuals for 1989. Swift also famously wears a cloak during the “willow” performance on tour. https://preview.redd.it/12m7c6qfoz0d1.png?width=1974&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a397cfccde1a36ff6217ddd6458b5eae5b0f13a Following folklore and evermore, Swift released Midnights, a continued commentary on the light versus dark motif representing “thirteen sleepless nights” across Swift’s life. The next references to wolves don’t come until The Tortured Poets Department. There are two, both on songs that (I believe) describe an identity crisis and struggle: “Guilty as Sin?” and “The Prophecy” as well as the indirect reference in “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” that started me down this rabbit hole. As noted above, these songs also reference cages and being trapped. She (still) dreams of throwing her life to the wolvesThe Tortured Poets Department plays with dark and light, a frequent motif in Swift’s discography. While the standard version of the album is represented by white with a relaxed image of Swift’s body literally laid back with a notable ray of sunlight over it, The Anthology is near-black and pictures Swift holding her head in anguish.Both versions of The Tortured Poets Department official album artwork, representing light versus dark Swift mentioned that Tortured Poets was written about the “last two years” of her life, and I feel this has been mischaracterized and reduced to focus only on the highly public elements of her love life. Swift likely spent those two years deep in her rerecording process for all four albums following Fearless (Taylor’s Version) and Red (Taylor’s Version). During this two-year timespan, we can assume Swift likely recorded Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) and 1989 (Taylor’s Version) in addition to their releases, and it is likely that Swift has already recorded reputation (Taylor’s Version) and Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version) in the same timeframe. For Swift to say that Tortured Poets represents "the end of this chapter of the author’s life" most likely signifies a closing door on a period of deep retrospective. I believe this is the crux of Tortured Poets entirely. I find it probable, not just possible, that much of Tortured Poets references this process and Swift’s experience and feelings unearthing and rerecording these albums. In revisiting those “eras” (or times in her actual life as a human being), I imagine the process to be quite painful. For anyone, revisiting diary entries (or souvenirs as Swift calls them in “The Manuscript”) from painful times in one’s life would be difficult enough, but to rerecord music that may have been so painful for entertainment purposes must be another beast altogether, especially after being essentially forced into the retrospective after her album catalog was stolen from her, or potentially viewing the music you wrote at the time differently through the lens of new perspective… Just, ouch. As an aside, with both Midnights and Tortured Poets, Swift seems to be making the “paternity testing” she discusses on reputation of her music more difficult, ascribing the periods of the album-writing to broader swaths of time over her life that weave further into her past, perhaps (and likely) referencing more than her love life or what the public knows. I believe “Guilty as Sin?” refers to the “Out of the Woods” music video. Swift runs from the wolves to save herself, and there’s even a point when Swift jumps off a snowy cliff into the ocean, and it seems Swift dreams about this moment in “Guilty as Sin?” and perhaps the song was even inspired by the 1989 rerecording process. My boredom's bone deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves Or the ocean rocksWe see the same imagery—Swift seemingly drowning in the ocean—on The Eras Tour during “my tears ricochet,” reminiscent of the “Out of the Woods” imagery. Swift sings MTR right after “illicit affairs,” a song in which Swift tells her muse she would “ruin [herself] a million little times” to be with them, the same phenomenon Swift has been singing about since at least 1989. Swift also sings about her “stolen lullabies” during “my tears ricochet,” tying the song to at least the events that triggered the rerecording process. https://preview.redd.it/exucgmxboz0d1.png?width=1142&format=png&auto=webp&s=5cf2926faa89f5e5bd923039e4e2b9394e7eefd5 Potentially also notably, the lyric video for “Is It Over Now?” from 1989 even features sheets swirling like the ocean does in the MTR tour visuals. https://preview.redd.it/qb2um1c9oz0d1.png?width=1198&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6f7b3e9314786420f6b0788d6f4551161faf017 This is notable because during the acoustic set of The Eras Tour, Swift has performed a mashup of “Out of the Woods” and “Is It Over Now?” from 1989 (Taylor’s Version). At the time of writing this post, Swift has sung the mashup twice on her tour, once in Argentina on November 11th—or 11/11, a callback to the doubles and duality concept—and once in Paris on May 10th (which also happened to be the second night of the Paris tour stop, and 10 is a double of 5, for those keeping track at home). Quick, semi-wolf-related tangentSo we’ve established that OOTW and IION? are connected, and I found yet another song that seems to be referencing the same moment in time as OOTW: “But Daddy I Love Him.” In both songs, Swift and her muse experience “the heat” or a backlash against their relationship, then find a seemingly happy ending: In BDILH, Swift’s parents “came around” to accept the relationship, and in OOTW, the monsters were just trees.https://preview.redd.it/9avqekl0xv0d1.png?width=2144&format=png&auto=webp&s=3b5f9d232050387ddd7723936568203b6171122b Linking these three songs, I find it interesting that Swift sings, “But fuck it, it’s over” during BDILH, perhaps an answer to the final track of 1989 (Taylor’s Version) that begs, “Is it over now?” repeatedly. That’s not where the similarities end, either. There are also two references to the phrase “good name” in Tortured Poets. Merriam-Webster defines a “good name” as a person’s good reputation. This leads me to believe these songs, namely “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” (wolf reference) and “But Daddy I Love Him” directly reference reputation and the scandals that marked the start of the reputation era and what the Lover era tried (yet failed again) to accomplish. https://preview.redd.it/up1tjgc7xv0d1.png?width=1970&format=png&auto=webp&s=963e0bac1f837ff6f9f845bf789dcae75f021b5f As a side note, her “good name” could also be a double entendre nod to Swift’s other upcoming rerecorded album, Taylor Swift (Taylor’s Version), in a very meta sense of the phrase, which would represent a country album that would likely be less well-received coming from an openly queer artist. Back to the wolvesThe last time Swift mentions wolves is in “The Prophecy,” a song from The Anthology version of Tortured Poets, comparing herself to a wolf howling.A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable Gathered with a coven round a sorceress' tableSwift fights against fate, howling at the moon. The coven and sorceress’ table call back to the cloaks and daggers Swift threw out in “Daylight,” signaling that she has found herself yet again in the darkness or night which, of course, is the only time the moon would be visible to howl at. As an aside, this is not dissimilar from the picture she paints of herself in “seven” from folklore, screaming “ferociously anytime [she] wanted,” another song tied to 1989 via The Eras Tour in which Swift had previously (and has now removed) a “seven” x “Wildest Dreams” spoken interlude (or poem!) before the folklore set, further linking the two albums with the woods and darkness motifs, as well as the concept of “wildness” in both songs. Overall, “The Prophecy” seems to describe the version of Swift we see in the “Out of the Woods” music video before she reaches acceptance. Swift is constantly battling against natural elements and forces, fighting back against her true and fated self or the path she finds herself on. There is, however, still a happy ending. The wolves eventually reach the end of the woods together. The heat dies down, the monsters are just trees, and the parents come around. What “The Prophecy” represents are the moments when that journey through the woods seems neverending, not necessarily Swift's current feelings about her life. It’s (almost) overWhen discussing her short film for “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),” Swift talks about how she would have been unable to create this kind of art without the perspective she’s gained in the years since. The fictionalized version of Swift in Tavi Gevinson’s “Fan Fiction” also comments on the “Taylor’s Version” element of the rerecording, which I find to be an apt description of what it must be like to create and have others consume the art in this context—that listeners should be made to feel uncomfortable with the added context that has come from the retrospective wisdom of the artist in hindsight.In it, Swift says: Her unrealistic expectations should only emphasize the gulf between their experiences. Her capacity for remembering, compared to his, is a symptom of youth. And her need for control, to tell the story, might also be seen as a trauma response. The line “The idea you had of me—who was she?” indicates that he was the first to dehumanize-by-idealizing. It should be unsettling to relisten to the 2012 version with the understanding that they had been living in his fantasy.(Don't even get me started on "Fan Fiction." Or do. Maybe it'll be fun.) In summary, my theory is this: Inserting Tortured Poets between the sequential release of 1989 (Taylor’s Version) and reputation (Taylor’s Version) serves as the necessary lens and context to properly read reputation for what it is and what it represents to Taylor Swift. Not only is Tortured Poets a commentary on fame, identity, and this highly vulnerable process and moment she finds herself in, but the lens through which all her rerecordings must be listened to through. |
2024.05.13 07:17 WDKilpackIII Contemporary Literature Anthology — Needle's Eye — Tega Greg (Editor)
- Contemporary Literature (Anthology)
- Needle's Eye
- Tega Greg (Editor); Contributing authors Oreoluwa Agboola, Mariam Ali, Jessica Buzun, Nesha Celestine, Tega Greg, Jill Jenkins, W.D. Kilpack III, Davina Miri-Gazhi, Praise Muleya, Beatrice Yavala
- Cover Art
- Available in Paperback/eBook
- Enter a world where boundaries blur and realities collide. In this anthology, diverse and captivating short stories seamlessly blend genres, revealing the extraordinary within the ordinary. Encounter tales of love that transcend time, wars that test the limits of humanity, faith that withstands the harshest trials, and the eternal dance between hope and despair. These stories will leave you spellbound, contemplating the profound mysteries of existence.
- Paperback eBook
2024.05.13 07:05 Spatialkeys Progressing in NoSurf: Some Bitter Realizations, But Promising Changes
Hello my friends. I wish you all the best in your journeys in creating a life free from the screen. I have been doing well the past weeks. I managed to finish three books and I am more active in taking care of my body and my home. My overall focus is also increasing.
The other-side of removing distractions is that you will become fully aware of your unfufilled needs. I mean the real things that are missing in your life. This can be a shocking and im sure many fall back(like I have) into the screen because its so hard to handle. As uncomfortable as that may be, you are now in the perfect position to turn things around. I'm going to list a few things I've realized, bitter as they may be, but also opportunities for a new life.
submitted by Spatialkeys to nosurf [link] [comments]
The other-side of removing distractions is that you will become fully aware of your unfufilled needs. I mean the real things that are missing in your life. This can be a shocking and im sure many fall back(like I have) into the screen because its so hard to handle. As uncomfortable as that may be, you are now in the perfect position to turn things around. I'm going to list a few things I've realized, bitter as they may be, but also opportunities for a new life.
- I am essentially isolated. All my friends from highschool or college have settled in their careers or families, while I at 32 am still figuring out what to do about a career or a family. I understand that as we grow older the bonds that we have made in our youth change. I was a very popular person in my teens and twenties. I had many friends from various social groups. I could always find something to do on the weekend. Now, I understand that I perhaps invested too much time in those fickle social connections without seeking out a meaningly way to live being entirely too dependent on others for my contentment. They are gone now: moved away, married, dead, dedicated to a career. And I am left behind. I see a close friend every two months or so, but thats about it. So, I need to find new ways to socially engage. I have to take a risk in a new social environment and build connections with people.
- I lived with the screen being so prevelant in everything I do that I expect life to always be comfortable or stimulating. NOT TRUE. I would say that the majority of our time is rather prosaic. Taking out the trash, washing the dishes, brushing your teeth, cleaning yourself, basic cooking, all are actions that require effort with a small reward. But those rewards accumulate daily! I live with two other people and I feel so much better that now I am being mindful in doing the little things around the house. You can make an impact by just taking some time off from the screen. Ask about others needs, be aware of what things you are slacking on because it doesn't give you immediate satisfaction.
- You'll try to cope with dropping the screen by indulging in other unhealthy habits. Yep, I noticed that after a couple of days limiting my screen time, I started to eat out of boredom when I know that I should be watching what I eat. Or taking too many naps in a day when I am not tired. Drinking too much coffee. Its good that I shook things up, but now I am calibrating, and its just gonna take some more effort to control the urge to fill the void with those things. Im on the right path. Its not perfect, but its progressing.
- Yeah, I have niche interests so its natural I don't fit with the "norm". I just love to learn about the world through history or reading literature and philosophy. When I do use the internet its so that I could look up a word or search Wikipedia for things that I don't understand or wish to have illustrated for me. Horror films are awesome, too! I like all kinds of music, but especially metal and eurobeat. Oh yeah, 80s music and Detroit Techno. All the friends I've had really never were interested in this stuff. But I got along well because I went with the flow and indulged their interests. For next week I have planned to read some John Keats. I studied English Literature in college ( never finished) and its been a joy to reread material. I highly recommend Norton Critical Editions if you are serious about reading the classics! I love these books. So, Reddit has been great in finding a distant community to talk about these things, but also with an eye to not be stuck scrolling for hours.