Raat mein saali

Post flair should be changed to "Rant", bhaiya Power consumption utni nahi hai jitne chakkar light ja rahi hai, paseene se tar batar hokar likh raha hoon chalu Kiya tha tb light gyi thi consumption pe pahucha toh light aagyi wapas light par aaya toh chali gayi, bhaiya ho kya raha hai capital city mein, jab vibhaag ko malum hai ki tandoor wali garmi padni hai toh adjustment kar na bhai, aadmi garmi mein na marega kuch toh appliance chalayega, har saal do saal unit rate badhate ho, har jagah taar badle jaate hain par koi fark nhi dikhta hai, ye shahar ka haal hai woh bhi rajdhani toh phir gaaon mein toh express ki tarah light aati jati hogi, jati hogi aati kahan hogi, raat bhar fluctuations ki nigrani karo agar light arhi hai toh, nahi arhi toh ye dekho kab ayegi, inverter bhi hath aur paon jodkar kahta hai ki mujhe charge hone bhar ki toh light dila do. UPPCL aur uske under jitne bhi aate hai sab corrupt ho chuke hai, ye 2000 ki line aaj bhi likhni pad rhi antar bas itna aya hai ab phone pe likha jarha light jane ke baad tab log apas mein batate they.
Kacchi geeli kardi tune UPPCL paseeene se...😥😰🥵🤬🤬🤬

Aaj raat meri doosri delivery thi. Mujhe laga nahin tha ki sirf delivery karke itne paise mil sakte hain. Bas truck chalani hai, meat export karna hai aur aish. Maine mera phone dekha, aur phone par mere helper ka ek message aaya tha. Main truck ko highway ke side mein ek maidan ki parking mein rok kar sone ki koshish kar Raha tha. Tabhi uska message aya. Usne yeh likha tha. "Bhaiya Aaj meat depot mein drivers ki kami hai...kya aap delivery kar doge? Boss extra payment denge iski."
Maine Bina kuch soche haan kar dia aur message send kar dia. Fir main wait karne laga. Truck ke bahar sannata tha. Bas ek bahut bada maidaan tha, maidaan ke saamne door door tak kuch nahin tha. Bas ek road gayi thi. Aur andhere mein road ke us paar kuch lights dikh rahi thi. Woh shayad koi gaaon tha. Sab kuch shant tha aur tabhi mere saamne se ek aur truck gayi. Mujhe akela pan lag raha tha itne ghanto tak driving karne ke baad. Us truck ko dekh kar acha laga. Lekin fir meri Nazar uske nameplate par gayi. N43739. Mujhe laga kisi state ka truck hoga. Truck ke jaane ke bad firse ek ajeeb sannata ho gaya tha.
Thik paanch minutes baad mujhe helper ka message aya. Ek location thi. Maine apne phone ko truck ke holder mein laga dia aur ek bar firse driving shuru ki. Maine socha ki delivery par jane ke pehle apni purani payment bhi le hi leta hoon. Isiliye maine meat depot ki taraf driving shuru ki. Is baar mujhe gps ki zarurat nahin padi. Is bar mujhe wahan pahuchne mein sirf. 1 ghanta laga. Raaste mein maine apni bottle bhar Li thi, usi post office se. Maine meri truck ko us building ke side mein park kia aur andar chala gaya. Wohi purani do manzil ki building. Meri pichli shift ki payment baaki thi aur maine socha ki lage hanth Aaj woh bhi settle kar lu. Andar sirf ek aadmi baitha tha jo wahan ka purana manager tha. Woh tension mein lag raha tha aur usne mujhe zyada kuch nahin bataya, bas itna bola ki is shift ke baad Puri payment le jana. Usne mujhe sirf 2000 rupey pakda diye, fuel ke liye.
Truck ka petrol khatam ho chuka tha, aur petrol pump pas mein hi tha. Sirf 1 mile door. Jab meri gadi us pump par pahuchi, maine ye nahin socha tha ki wahan itna sannata hoga. Woh ek naya petrol pump tha jo pichle saal hi bana tha. Petrol pump ke peeche kuch bhi nahin tha, aur woh road ke side mein bana hua tha. Maine fuel bhar lia. Lekin attendant dikhai nahi de raha tha. Wahan ek chota sa guesthouse bana hua tha rest karne ke liye. Main andar Gaya aur paise table pe rakh diye. Petrol pump ke bahar ek aadmi khada tha, thik lag raha tha woh mujhe. Use bhi bhangarh hi Jana tha. Maine usse thodi baat ki aur use andar baitha lia.
Ab delivery karne ke waqt tha aur raat ke kareeb 1:53 am baj rahe honge aur maine driving shuru ki. Is baar mujhe company se ek uniform bhi mili thi.
Truck us andhere highway par tezi se chal Rahi thi. Raaste mein ek bhi gaadi nahin thi aur hawa bohot tez thi. Road ke us paar mujhe kuch dhabe dikhe Jo band ho chuke the. Mere saamne ek milestone aya jispar likha tha "pratapgarh- Maine socha chalo achi baat hai, is baar itni jhanjhat nahin hogi. Mera co passenger, jise maine petrol pump se baithaya tha, woh passenger seat pe so Raha tha.
Tabhi mujhe meat depot se ek message aya. Usme ye likha tha. "Welcome to the mirzapur meat depot! Here are some guidelines to be followed on your delivery.
Bahar ke andhere mein truck ki light ek ajeeb roshni de Rahi thi. Tabhi maine guidelines ko padhna shuru Kia. 1- pehle panch se dus kilometre ki distance safe hai. Apni high beams ko on rakh kar hi truck chalana. Tum 5 kilometres cover karne ke baad ek break le sakte ho. Bas Jo bhi ho jaye, truck se zyada door mat jana. Pratapgarh highway aankhon ko dhoka de sakta hai.
2- 10 se 15 kilometres ke baad tumhe dhyan se gadi chalani padegi. Thik 11 kilometre ka milestone cross karne ke bad, apni gaadi rok lena aur is baat ka dhyan rakhna ki tumhare sare darwaze aur windows band hain. Tumhari truck ke peeche rakha meat fresh, agar tumhe Aisa Lage ki meat sad Raha hai toh tumhari seat par rakhi incense ka use kar lena. Truck ke bahar mat nikalna. 13 kilometres ka milestone paar karne ke baad tumhari backseat par kuch log aa ke baith jayenge. Unpar dhyan mat Dena, woh tumhe kuch nahin karenge. They are usually friendly. Tumhari truck mein jo bhi baitha hoga, woh 14 kilometre ke baad chala jayega. Jaise hi tumhari truck 15 ka milestone cross karegi, uske baad se tumhari windshield aur glass par tapping shuru ho jayegi. Aisa lagega ki koi andar aane ki koshish kar Raha hai. 90 mph se zyada ki speed maintain karna, aur chalte Jana. Rukna mat. Agar kisi wajah se tumhari gaadi yahan band pad jaati hai, toh tumhe koi nahin bacha sakta. Hamare aakhri driver ki body Aaj Tak nahin mili. Prathna karna ki tum wahan se nikal jao.
3- 15 se 25 kilometres ki road safe hai, us dauraan tum toilet break ke liye truck ke bahar nikal sakte ho. Tumhare truck ke drawer mein ek map, aur ek wooden shaft rakha hua hai. Truck ke bahar us wooden shaft ko lekar hi nikalna, aur shift ke dauraan tumhe toilet Jana padh jaye toh truck ki light mein rehna, aur us shaft ko apne paas rakhna. They usually hate wood. Tumhare pass 5 minutes honge. Agar iske dauraan tumhe tumhari taraf aata hua ek Jaanwar dikhe toh turant apni truck mein baith jana. Aur wahan se nikal jana. Tumhare pass andar aane ke liye sirf 5 minutes honge. Agar tumhe der ho jati hai toh company kuch nahin kar payegi. Truck mein baithne ke baad road par dekhna. Agar woh jaanwar road par hai toh tum safe ho, agar woh janwar road par nahin hai. Toh tum kuch nahin kar sakte...we are sorry for you. Tumhare drawer mein pills rakhi Hain. They provide a quick and painless death. Unhe kha lena. Prathna karna ki woh pills tumhe us janwar se pehle mar de. Agar tum wahan se nikal jate ho, toh 23 se 25 kilometres ke aas paas ek bar firse apne doors check kar Lena aur unhe thik se lock karna.
4- 50 kilometres ka milestone cross karne ke baad ek TAC(temporary checkpoint)aayega. Woh checkpoint sirf truckers ke liye operate hota hai. Us checkpoint par pahuchne ke pehle tumhe 25 se 30 kilometres cross karne padenge. Yahan se dhyan rakhna. Kuch hi der baad tum dekhoge ki road ke side mein ek aadmi tumhare jaisi hi uniform pehen kar khada hoga. Woh meat depot ka checker hai. Woh aadmi tumhari safety ke liye hai. 25 kilometres ke milestone par woh aadmi tumhari gadi mein baith jayega aur tumse questions puchega. Uske sawal tumhari safety se related honge. Jawab ache se dena. Woh tumhare sath checkpoint tak rahega. Agar tum dekho ki usne tumhare jaisi uniform nahin pehni ho, toh use gadi mein mat baithne Dena aur wahan se nikal jana.
5- agar us aadmi ne tumhari jaisi uniform nahin pehni hai, toh woh hamara aadmi nahi toh hai. Gadi jaldi se wahan se nikalna. Woh tumhare peeche aane ki koshish karega. Tumhare gate ko todne ki ya fir tumhari windshield ko. Lekin tum gadi chalate rehna aur 30.5k kilometres ke baad woh chala jayega.
6- agar woh aadmi tumhari car mein baithne ke baad tujhse unrelated sawaal pooche toh jawab mat Dena. Tumhari Jaan khatre mein hai. Use Bina pata chale truck ka assistance button daba Dena. Agli subah hamari company ki truck tumhari dead body le jayegi.
7- 40 se 48 kilometres ke beech mein, aisa ho sakta hai ki tumhe ek ajeeb si garmi lagne lage, uspar dhyan mat Dena. Bas meat depot checker ko inform kar dena. He will take care of it. Once again, check that all of ur doors are locked. Agar koi problem huyi toh use checker dekh lega.
8- TAC(checkpoint) pahuchne par tum break le sakte ho. Wahan koi nahin hoga, sirf ek toll booth jisme tum 35 minutes ke liye ruk sakte ho. Itni der mein checker tumhari truck repair kar deta aur meat containers ko bhi check kar lega. If he does not comes back from the trucks backside. Then do not look for him. He is gone.
9- 50 se 55 kilometres ke beech mein tumhare sath bohot kuch hoga. 52 kilometres par tumhari gaadi malfunction karna shuru kar degi, radio apne aap bajne lagega aur darwaze khul jayenge. Drive carefully and this may stop after a while. 55 se 65 kilometres ke baad, tumhari gaadi ek dhabe ke bahar band pad jayegi. Apni windows upar kar Lena aur bahar dhyan mat Dena. Woh log tumhari madad nahin karna chahte hain. They are hungry. Do not step outside and try to start your vehicle as soon as possible. 60 se 70 kilometres Tak tum safe ho. Agar tumhari gaadi mein kuch hua bhi, toh woh chala jayega.
10- ab dhyan dena. Thodi der baad tum puri truck ka ek routine check kar Lena. Make sure the wooden shaft is still there. Check everything. 75 se 80 kilometres ke baad, road patli hona shuru ho jayegi. Tumhe Aisa lagega jaise road toot Rahi hai. Chahe jo bhi ho jaye, bahar mat nikalna aur truck ki speed mat Kam karna. They don't want you to reach. Do not listen to them.
11- 85 se 90 kilometres ke baad, tumhe ek toll booth dikhega. Check karna ki us toll booth ki sari lights on hain ya fir off. Uske saamne rukna mat aur gaadi chalate jana. The toll booth is not set up by us. Agar tum galti se bhi us toll booth par ruk jate ho. Toh company kuch nahin kar payegi. We will recover your body soon...
12- 95 kilometres ka milestone cross karne ke baad tumhe ek board dikhega. 'bhangarh' Wahan gaadi mat rokna, tumhe ek gaaon dikhega lekin us gaon ke log asli nahin hain. Woh log tumhari truck ke saamne aane ki koshish karenge lekin rukna mat. Agar tumhe Aisa Lage ki tum asli insano ke upar truck Chadha rahe ho toh bas ek bar unki aankho mein dekh lena. Tumhe pata chal jayega, ki woh chiz insan nahin hai.
13- 95 se 100 kilometres ki distance potentially safe hai. Aage ek final checkpoint aayega wahan apni gadi rok kar truck checkup karwa Lena...
Goodluck. We hope to meet you again. Regards.
Maine yeh sare rules padh liye the aur mujhe koi darr nahin tha kyuki abtak Maine ek bhi rule nahin toda tha. Journey achi Jaa Rahi thi. Achanak mujhe company se ek aur message aata hai. Hello driver! We are attaching the most important rule of the journey as an attachment. RULE- whatever happens, do not pick up the man at the petrol pump who may appear in the starting of your journey. Do NOT.

So I am a 11th pcb student right now who got 88% in boards 2023-24 without solving any sample papers and not even studing in study leaves(bas ek din phele raat ko padhte the). Ab hum apne sare sch friends se disconnect hogaye hai sirf 3-5 log ko chor ke(coaching aur sch mila ke). I felt so lonely for some time till I started my 11th coaching. Mere society mein ek larki hai jo mere sath jati hai coaching ek hi auto mein aur wo icse se hai aur usse 98% aaye hai. She is a pcm student. Wo batati hai ki kaise uska 10th ka coaching life kitna mast tha, usne kitna class bunk Kiya, kaise wo apne study leave mein series dekhti thi. Matlab she enjoyed her every moment of her life aur wo sports mein bhi acchi hai usse musical instrument bhi bajane aata hai.
Ye sab dekh ke aur sunn ke humko bahut depressed feel hota hai. Pata nhi jealous bhi jo aaj tak hum kisi se nahi hue hai.(And I still don't wanna feel jealous from somebody but I just can't control it). Lagta hai ki hum kya hi kiye hai life abhi tak hum. I feel ki hum kisi bhi cheez mein acche nahi hai.
Mera 11th sahi nahi ja raha hai ab isi ke karan. Abhi bhi 11th mein uske naye coaching mein bahut sare friends ban Gaye hai. I also do have friends in coaching but they ain't homie. Abhi bhi wo enjoy karti hai aur mere se acche marks aate hai. While I am just depressed and sad af aur isi ke karan content consumption badh Gaya hai(just to escape the reality). I do wanna control my mind, the way I feel. Warna Mera 11th fuck up hojayega.
Sch mein sabki life mere jaise hi thi par ab jab bhar nikle hai to inki perfect life dekh ke alag sa feel hota hai.
Is this a age thing?

Hua yeh, ki mera cooler utna thanda nhi kar raha tha, par jaise taise sahi chal raha tha is garmi mein, pura din koi dikkat naa hui, par jaise hi 11 bje achanak usme se bahut jyada aawaz aane lagi, shayad uske blade se aa rahi thi, temp 40+ degree hai, aur raat ko cooler band hai, yadi yahi din mein hota toh sahi karwaya jaa sakta tha 💀😭😭 Naa neend aa rahi aur garmi mein halat alag kharab

Main apne warehouse ka naam toh nahin bata sakta lekin yeh Mirzapur NH2 highway ke paas padhta hai. Meri pichli shift par meri company ne mujhe meat transport karne bhej dia tha, us naukri mein kamai toh achi thi lekin shift khatam hote hote thakawat ho jati thi. Aur bhi kuch reasons hain jo main yahan nahin bata sakta.
Maine us meat depot ki naukri ko chorh dia. Aur Bina kisi naukri ke ghar pe baitha hi tha jab mere dimag mein online jobs dekhne ke khayal aaya. "JOBS NEAR MIRZAPUR" i searched. 106 results aaye honge. Maine lagbhag har ek website par jaake check kia aur dekha ki har company ki ek manager ki zarurat thi. Manager ka kaam mere liye mushkil tha. Isiliye maine kuch aur naukri dekhne ka socha. Main frustrate hokar phone band hi karne vala tha jab meri Nazar aakhri website par padi. 'SECURITY GUARD REQUIRED, DECENT SALARY'. Main bohot thak chuka tha firbhi Maine is website ko khola. Website load hone mein kareeb 2 minute lage. Company ka naam kuch ajeeb sa tha. "The dead end and co" Bhala koi apni company ka naam Aisa kyun rakhega. Truck vali naukri ko chorhne ke baad paiso ki kami ho gayi thi aur mujhe kisi bhi tarah naukri chahiye thi. Maine form bhar dia aur phone band karke rakh dia. Us company ka form thoda ajeeb tha.
Maine check kia aur pata chala ki us warehousing ki naukri mein mujhe basically facilities wahin se mil jayengi jaise groceries, electricity, rehne ki jagah aur khana. Mere liye ye job thik thi. Woh warehouse Kam se kam 3 ghante door hoga. Mere pass Ghar nahin tha aur main meri truck ke peeche hi Raha karta tha. Shuruwat mein delivery karke paise kama leta tha lekin ab Kami hone lagi thi. Ajeeb baat hai, form bharne ke 10 minutes baad hi mujhe ek call aa gayi. Ek aurat ne phone uthaya, woh receptionist thi shayad. Usne mere se Mera naam poocha. Mere naam batate hi usne kuch paper pr likha aur chup ho gayi... Phone line par Shanti hogyi thi. Achanak se usne kuch bola. "Hello! Welcome to our warehouse." Maine bhi hello bola aur bataya ki mujhe is job ki zarurat hai. Unhone mujhe kaam karne ka procedure bata dia aur bye bolke phone rakh dia. Us receptionist ne mere se meri qualifications nahin poochi. Ye baat thik nahin lagi. Khair us job ki ek raat ki shift ki payment meri pure hafte ki kamai se zyada thi. Mujhe paiso se matlab tha. Maine bhi haan kar dia. Bas ek bond sign karna pada jisme ye likha tha ki main us warehouse job ko 1 month ke pehle nahin chorh sakta. Yeh naukri kuch zyada hi achi dikh rahi thi, mujhe kuch gadbad laga. Main call par receptionist se puchta Raha ki kya is job mein kuch risk hai? Mere baar baar puchne ke bad receptionist ne seedhe seedhe bol dia ki 'aapko yeh naukri chahiye ya nahin?' Bohot ajeeb laga. Naukri toh chahiye thi. Kya hi karta. Shift Aaj Raat ki hi hai. 6 bajte hi maine khana kha lia aur woh warehouse ke liye nikal pada. Kareeb 9:30 tak warehouse pahuch Gaya tha aur mera dil bohot zor se dhadak raha tha. Woh jagah ek normal warehouse jaisi nahin thi. Pata nahin ki pagal ko yeh laga hoga ki jungle ke beech mein ek warehouse banana thik hoga...
Thik 10 baje meri shift shuru hogyi, tabhi Maine dekha ek aadmi warehouse se bahar aa raha hai. Woh day guard tha. Usne meri taraf itna dhyan nahin dia. Us guard ne mujhe wahan ki keys pakda di aur usne mujhe jaldi se security booth ki tour karwa di.
Woh security guard jaane hi vala tha lekin us kuch yaad aa gaya. Woh laut ke waapis mere pass aya aur usne mujhe ek revolver gun pakda di. Meri aakhein khuli ki khuli reh gayi thi. Woh guard already bohot thaka hua lag raha tha, toh maine zyada kuch poocha nahin aur woh revolver apne pass rakh li. Us revolver ke side mein ek paper chipka hua tha.
Usne jaate jaate mujhe goodluck bola aur kaha ki us paper ko padh lena. Mujhe laga yeh gun isliye hogi kyunki jungle vale areas mein aas paas jaanwar aa jate hain. Yeh sochkar Maine apna Dil behlaya aur andar chala gaya.
Meri shift thik 5 baje khatam ho jayegi. Main security booth mein chala gaya aur maine us paper ko padhna shuru Kia. Usmein yeh likha tha.
-Welcome to The dead end company -
Yeh kuch rules hain jo tumhe follow karne padenge. Hamari company ki strict policy hai, aur agar tumne unhe follow nahin Kia toh kuch bhi bura hone ke zimmedar tum hoge.
1- Chahe jo bhi ho jaye, kisi bhi time par security booth ko chorh kar mat Jana.
2-Apni shift ke dauraan sone ki koshish mat karna aur apne security booth ki har waqt locked rakhna. Tumhari table par kuch candy bars aur coffee hai. Woh tumhari help karegi. Agar tum kisi wajah se security booth lock karna bhool jate ho toh prathna karna ki tum jaldi mar jao aur unke hanth na Lago.
3-Har aadhe ghante par pure warehouse ke ek round lagana. Agar tumhe Aisa Lage ki koi tumhe dekh raha hai toh turant security booth mein waapis aa jana. 10 minutes se zyada time mat lagana.
4-under any circumstances, do NOT enter the warehouse. Tumhara kaam hai security booth mein rehna aur areas ko check karna. Kuch bhi ho jaye, warehouse mein mat jana. Agar shift ke dauraan tumhe warehouse se rone ki awaz aaye toh apni table pe rakhe earphones laga lena. Agar awaz zyada tez ho toh apne cabin ki lights dim kar dena aur bahar mat dekhna.
5-Apni Nazar security cameras par rakhna. Agar camera number 3 mein static noise aane lage toh us camera ki dhak dena, aur apni table ke neeche chup jaana. Whatever happens. Do not look at them. Do not look at it.
6-Agar shift ke dauraan tumhe warehouse ke bahar se hasne ki awaz aaye toh apne room ko barricade kar Lena aur bahar mat jana. Yee awaz thodi der mein ruk jayegi, dhyan mat Dena. Yahan tumhara luck kaam aayega. Agar kisi ne tumhara darwaza kholne ki koshish ki toh kuch bolna mat aur tumhari table ke neeche ek red lever hoga use kheech dena. Hamari company tumhari Jaan toh nahin bacha payegi lekin hm tumhari family ki khabar pahucha denge.
7-2:15 am ke aas paas, ek aurat warehouse ke bahar aayegi aur uske hanth mein ek bundle hoga. Woh tumse bheekh mangegi ki tum use uske bacche ke liye kuch khane ko dedo. Use ignore kar dena, aur uske bundle ko mat dekhna.
8-Ab dhyan dena, thik 3 baje, ek aadmi jungle se nikal ke tumhare warehouse ke door tak aane ki koshish karega. Woh aadmi rote huye tumhari taraf aayega. Use warehouse ke gate par mat aane Dena. Apni revolver ka use karna pade toh kar lena. Wo admi chahe jo bhi ho, use shoot kar dena. Aur please use gate ke paas mat ane Dena. Hamare aakhri employee ki galti ki wajah se Pura warehouse do hafte ke liye band tha.
9-Warehouse jungle mein hi bana hai. Shift ke dauraan warehouse ke bahar janwaro ki awaz aayegi. Uspar dhyan mat Dena. Agar koi janwar tumhare booth kr bahar aa jaye toh panic mat karna aur uski aankhon mein mat dekhna. Tumhari revolver par hanth rakhna lekin use tab tak mat chalana jab tak woh janwar andar aane ki koshish na kare. They are usually kind.
10- If the forest calls for you, Do not respond.
11- if it becomes extremely quite suddenly, then start playing songs or simply start whistling until the crickets start chirping once again.
Agar inme se ek bhi rule toot jata hai toh sabse safe jagah jungle hi hogi. Wahan survive karne ke kuch chances hain. Agar tum galti se warehouse mein chale jao toh wahan se turant nikalne ki koshish karna. Agar tum wahan phas jao toh subah Tak ka wait karna aur Darna mat. Apni handgun apne paas rakhna. Agar tum warehouse mein phas jate ho toh bachne ki koshish karna, subah hamara day guard wahan aayega aur tumhara jo bhi bacha hoga use collect karke tumhare ghar bhijwa dega.
Goodluck.
Yeh kya mazak hai? Yeh rules padhne ke baad mujhe laga ki woh company mere sath mazak kar Rahi hai. Yeh rules sach hain ya jhooth yeh toh mujhe pata nahin, lekin ab mujhe ajeeb sa lagne laga tha.
Ab meri pehli shift ka time tha aur mera mann nahin tha ki main andhere mein bahar Jake inspection Karu. Main torch dhundne lag gaya...Maine rules ko ek aur bar padh lia aur apne rounds pe nikal pada. Mere ek hanth mein torch thi aur dusre mein gun. Round lene mein 8 minutes lage honge aur main fir wapis laut gaya.
Shift bohot hi boring thi aur mujhe neend aane lagi, main sone hi vala tha jab meri Nazar computer screen par padi aur meri sans ruk gayi. Us screen par static noise aa rahi thi. Maine turant us screen par kapda rakh dia aur main table ke neeche chup gaya. Main table ke neeche chupa hua tha aur tabhi security booth ke bahar kisi ke chalne ki awaz aayi. Mere saamne thodi hi door par ek aur computer laga tha jo table ke neeche se dikh Raha tha. Maine us computer ko dekha aur Jo dikha uske baad maine woh naukri wahin par chorh di. Ek aadmi security booth ke bahar chal raha tha. Kuch bohot hi ajeeb tha uske bare mein. Uski sirf ek aankh thi. Security booth ke bahar andhera tha aur uski ek aankh andhere mein chamak Rahi thi. Woh aadmi, ya janwar, mere booth ke bahar aake ruk gaya. Woh ro raha tha. Achanak se sab shant pad Gaya aur usne hasna shuru kar dia. Usne apni gardan ek ajeeb dhang se modi aur mere camera ki taraf dekhne laga. Woh ek bhayanak dhang se has Raha tha aur uske muh se Pani gir Raha tha... Achaanak se ek awaz aayi. Woh aadmi jungle ki taraf jaane laga. Maine dekha uske hanth mein kuch tha. Meri rooh kaamp gayi jab Maine dekha ki woh aadmi apna hi hanth chaba Raha tha...Us aadmi ne jungle ki taraf kadam rakha, aur haste huye andar chalta chala gaya.
Maine thoda wait kia aur confirm kar lia ki woh aadmi Jaa chuka hai. Maine turant time check kia aur 30 minutes beet chuke the aur maine ek round miss kar dia tha. Agla round 10 minutes mein tha. Thakaan ki wajah se hallucinations hone lagi thi mujhe Abhi kareeb 12:17 baje honge aur mere saamne ek aurat aa rahi thi. Pata nahin yeh sach tha ya jhooth. Woh ajeeb dhang se chal Rahi thi jaise uske pair mein choth lagi ho. Uske hanth mein ek bacha tha jiska muh chupa hua tha. Us aurat ne apna hanth aage kia jaise woh bheekh mang Rahi ho. Maine use ignore kar dia, aur usne darwaze ko peet te huye rona shuru kar dia. Woh aurat rone lag gayi, aur jo chiz uski god mein thi usne bhi ek ajeeb dhang se rona shuru kar dia. Mera dil dhadakne laga bohot zor se kyuki woh aurat apne hi bacche ko mere sheeshe par maar Rahi thi. Mere phone mein bhi charging nahin thi...yeh sab kya ho raha tha. Mujhe nahin lagta main subah dekh paunga. Woh aurat gayab ho chuki hai aur ab cabin mein Shanti hai. Sab shant ho gaya hai. Tabhi mujhe seeti bajane ki awaz aati hai. Main bina hile idhar udhar dekhta hoon. Meri saans atak jaati hai jab mujhe pata chalta hai ki yeh seeti bajane ki awaz room ke bahar se nahin...room ke andar se aa rahi hai. Main room ke chaaro taraf dekhta hoon aur mujhe yaad aata hai ki main galti se dusra darwaza band karna bhool Gaya tha. Woh darwaza pura khula tha... Waise hi room ki light bulb fat jati hai aur woh seeti bajane ki awaz bhi band ho jati hai... Achanak mere rongte khade ho jate hain. Jaise koi mere peeche ho. Koi chalte huye mere peeche aata hai. Aur ab aakhri baar seeti bajane ki awaz aati hai. Thik mere kaano mein...
The end.
I wish I never took this job. Never. Never. Never.

Kal hi Pratapgath mein show karne ka plan bana tha. Ek hafte mein mujhe mera samaan wahan shift karwana hai. Mujhe truck ka kaam karte huye sirf 7 mahine huye hain. Main ek truck driver hoon. Meri truck mein ek portable theatre ka samaan rehta hai aur main sheher, gaon jaake logon ki meri truck ke peeche portable theatre mein movie dikhata hoon. Sirf 30 rupey per ticket mein. Aaj hi ki baat hai, raat ke kareeb 9-10 baje honge aur aaj ka aakhri show khatam ho gaya. Sare gaon vale movie dekh kar apne apne Ghar jaane lage. Maine fir threater ka saman vapis truck mein rakhna shuru Kia. Pehle Maine sari chairs ko ek sath kar ke andar rakh dia. Fir maine projector bhi andar rakh dia. Ab tak raat ke 12:00 baj gaye honge. Aaj mere sath kaam mein madad karne ke liye helper bhi nahi tha. Usey sheher jaana pad Gaya tha. Maine jaldi jaldi apna saman andar rakha aur truck mein jaake baith gaya. Hotel Kam se kam 25 kilometre door tha aur mujhe laga ki raat ke is waqt gaon vale ilake mein truck chalana thik nahi hoga. Main bhi thak Gaya tha. Mere phone par ek notification aayi. Phone bahar nikala toh mere helper ka message tha. Message mein ye likha tha ki "Bhaiya meri naukri sheher ke meat house mein lag gayi hai, achi salary dete hain aur sirf hafte ke 4 din kaam karta padta hai, aap bolo toh aapki bhi baat karun unse" Mujhe uska message dekh ke ajeeb laga. Mera helper mujhse ye bolkar gaya tha ki use kuch kaam hai. Woh dusri naukri karne lagega Maine ye nahi socha tha. Khair. Mera koi mann nahi tha us sheher ki naukri ko karne ka. Firbhi, Maine aisehi usse puch lia ki salary kitni denge. Maine message send kar dia aur wait karne laga. 10 minute baad uska message aya. "10 hazaar per shift ka".
Yeh dekh kar meri aakhein khuli reh gayi. Main is truck ke sath gaon gaon mein show karke mahine ka sirf 15 hazaar kama pata tha. Wahan sheher ki naukri mein mujhe mahine ke 30 hazaar araam se mil jayenge. Thoda sochne ke baad maine helper ko message Kia aur bola "haan tum meri bhi baat karlo apne boss se" Usne "ok" bola. Maine dekha raat ke 1 baj gaye honge abtak. Mere andar ek ajeeb si urja aa rahi thi. Maine phone truck ke charging port pe laga dia aur sone lag gaya. Gaon mein kaafi sannata tha. Meri truck bhi gaon ke bahari area mein khadi thi. Mujhe sote huye ajeeb sa lag raha tha. Aisa lag raha tha ki koi dekh raha hai. Achanak mera phone Baja aur mera dil dhadakne laga phone ki awaz se. Maine phone dekha aur helper ke 3 message the. Is samay ab kyun message karega woh mujhe. Usne likha tha ki "boss aapka interview Lena chahte hain, abhi ajao". Aur teesre message mein ek location mili thi Jo yahan se kareeb 50 kilometre door hogi. Mujhe ajeeb laga. Bhala koi insan is waqt kyun interview lega. Maine helper ko message karke poocha ki is samay kyun Lena hai interview. Usne mujhe reply nahin dia. Yahan truck mein baithe baithe main mere hantho se chutki Baja Raha tha. Achanak se message aya aur mera phone Baja. Helper ma message tha. Usne likha tha ki "boss ko kal subah hi ek aadmi urgently chahiye"
Mujhe shak hua. Lekin paiso ki zarurat thi. Isiliye Maine use message bhej dia ki main aa raha hoon. Usney ok bheja.
Fir maine phone ke map par woh location daal di aur mujhe woh location nahi mili. Maine kayi baar search karne ki koshish ki lekin app mein "location not found" batata tha. Is baar Maine woh location directly nahi dali lekin uske pass ke ek restaurant ki location Dali. Is baar lag gayi. Woh jagah gaon se 3 ghante door hogi. Pahuchte pahuchte 4 baj jaate. Maine phone ko holder mein laga dia aur truck start ki aur chalane lag gaya. Gaon bohot hi chota tha aur main us gaon ki boundary ke bahar aa chuka tha. Samne chota sa post office tha. Maine truck roki kyuki mujhe pani ki zarurat thi. Ab tak main 25 kilometre door aa chuka tha aur 2:13 baj rahe the. Maine meri bottle mein paani bhara aur truck mein baith gaya. Post office band tha lekin use bagal mein ek water cooler tha. Khair maine truck start ki firse chalane ki koshish ki. Ajeeb sa lag raha tha shaam se. So bhi nahin paya. Truck chalate chalate neend aa rahi thi aur darr tha ki truck ka accident ho jayega. Maine mere muh pe pani mara aur firse driving shuru ki. Ab kareeb 3:20 baj rahe honge. Woh jagah mushkil se 7 kilometres door hogi. Yeh gaon bohot akela aur sunsaan lag raha tha. Sirf ek do Ghar the aur aage kuch dukaane. Ab woh jagah 4 kilometres door thi. Mera phone bhi off ho chuka tha. Main kisi tarah board padhke us office pahuch Gaya. Bahar se woh building office jaisi nahin lag rahi thi. Ek Ghar tha do manzil ka. Uske bahar 'meat depot' ka board laga tha. Mujhe interview Dene mein sirf 20 minute lage honge. Interview bohot ajeeb tha. Unhone aise sawal puche jaise kya tumne apni gaadi ko kabhi road pe akela chorha hai, kya tumne andhere se dar lagta hai? Kya tum dharm mein mante ho?. Aise sawal mujhe bahut ajeeb Lage. In sawalo ka meri truck shift se kya lena dena tha. Maine sabhi sawalo ka jawab ache se dia. Mujhe on the spot select kar lia tha. Mera kaam tha gaon mein meat products ko transport karna. Aur kisi wajah se yeh kaam sirf raat ko ho sakta hai aur mujhe gaon tak meat leke subah ke pehle pohochna tha. Mujhe paiso se matlab tha toh maine zyada kuch nahi socha.
Meri pehli shift raat ke 4 baje ki thi. Mujhe call par ek receptionist ne sab samjha dia ki mujhe kaunsa route Lena hai aur kaunse highway se Jana hai. Fir us receptionist ne mujhe ek voice note bheja aur bola ki shift pe jaane ke pehle ise sun Lena. Raat ko drive karne ke basic rules hain.
Maine use shukriya bola aur driving shuru ki. Main us purani road par pahuch Gaya Jiske bare me receptionist ne bataya tha. Road par aa kar maine uska voice note khola. Usme ye likha tha.
Hey driver! Welcome to our company. Tum ek experienced driver ho fir bhi ye kuch rules hain jo raat ko drive karne ke waqt tumhe follow karne padenge. Hamari company ki ek strict rule policy hai. Main sare rules tumne ek message mein bhej deta hoon. Ache se padh lena. Goodluck.
Yeh message thik nahi laga mujhe. Bhala driving karne ke liye kaunse rules lagte hain? Khair maine uska message khola. Usme yeh likha tha. - Apni high beam lights ko on rakhha aur on rakh ke hi truck chalana kyuki road par bohot andhera hota hai. Tumne kabhi kabhi Aisa lagega ki headlight on hone ke baad bhi bohot andhera hai lekin us baat se parshan mat hona. Gaadi chalate jana.
-Pehle 10 kilometre cover karne ke baad tumhe ek "dead end" ka sign dikhega. Uspae dhyan mat Dena aur truck chalate jaana. Agar tumhari lights flicker karna shuru kar de toh gaadi tez chalana aur tab tak chalana jab tak flickering na ruk jaaye.
-Thodi der truck chalane ke baad kareeb 4:20 pe tumhe road par ek aadmi milega. Yaad se apni gadi rokna aur usse poochna ki use Kahan jaana hai. Agar woh "nearest town" bole toh use andar baitha lena. Agar woh kuch aur bole toh chalate jaana, rukna mat aur prathna karna ki woh tumhare peeche na aaye.
-Agar tumne us aadmi ko andar aane dia, toh woh kareeb ek ghante ke liye chup rahega. Fir woh tumse bolega ki uska stop aa gaya hai. Tum use bina kuch soche utar Dena. Aur jaise hi woh utar jaaye, gaadi chalana shuru kardena aur use raat ke andhere mein chalte huye mat dekhna.
-Abtak tumne 25 kilometres cover kar liye honge. Agar 25 kilometre ke baad tumhe truck ke peeche se thokne ya rone ki awaaz aane lage toh uspar dhyan mat Dena. Yeh awaz jaldi band ho jayegi agar tum ek consistent speed par truck chalaoge.
-30th kilometer par pahuchne ke pehle apna radio band kar dena. Agar woh abhi Tak chal raha tha toh yaad se band kar dena. Sirf volume dheemi karne se kuch nahin hoga.
-Jaise hi tum 35 kilometre cover karoge. Tumhara radio achanak se on ho jayega aur woh highest volume par hoga. Yahan dhyan dena. Agar koi gana start hota hai toh use band kar dena. Lekin agar tumne sirf static sunai deti hai toh turant apni truck aur engine ki band karke seat pe let Jana aur apni aakhein band kar lena.
-Hilne ki koshish mat karna aur aakhein band rakhna. Tumhe truck ke upar aur windshield par tapping sunai degi lekin udhar mat dekhna. Shayad woh tumhari truck ke andar aa jaye lekin tum hilna mat. Jo bhi hai, thodi der mein chala jayega.
-Jab awaz aana band ho jaye tab tum apni aakhein khol sakte ho. Dheere se aankh khol kar driver seat par dekhna. Agar uspar dhua hoga toh ek aur minute wait karna fir truck ko start kar lena.
-50 kilometre paar karne ke baad tumhari truck ke sath sath kuch chaar pairo par bhagna shuru kardega. Tum jitna tez gadi chala lo, firbhi woh sath bhagta rahega. It is advised ki tum atleast 60mph ki speed maintain Karo. Road par dhyan rakhna. Aage ek curve aayega aur us curve ke baad woh chala jayega.
-Agar us curve ke baad bhi woh tumhara peecha kar raha hai, toh prathna karna ki agle curve par woh chala jaye. Tumhare pass sirf 3 curves hain. Dhyan rakhna.
-70 kilometre ko paar karne ke baad tumhari truck achanak se band ho jayegi. Shant rehna aur engine on karne ki koshish karna. Apne rearview mirror mein mat dekhna. Woh log tumhari taraf aa rahe honge. Dhyan mat Dena. Jaise hi gadi shuru ho jaye vahan se nikal jaana.
-80 kilometre ke milestone ke baad truck mein ajeeb si garmi ho jayegi. Ac kisi kaam ka nahin. Apni jacket utaar Lena. Lekin jo bhi ho jaye, khidki mat kholna.
-Sone kosish mat karna. Woh road seedhi jaati hai lekin agar tumne aankhein band karne ki koshish ki toh tum dekhoge ki tumhari truck ek khai ke neeche jaa rahi hai.

• Kareeb 10 minute baad tumhe ek ped ke neeche chaar kaale pathhar dikhenge. Agar un pattharo par laal sindoor ho toh gaadi chalate rehta. Agar tumne dekhna ki pathhar par sindoor nahin hai.

-Agar bathroom Jana pad jaaye toh truck ki beam light mein reh kar hi karna aur gaadi se door mat jana.
-Agar bahar nikalte waqt tumhe truck ke peeche koi dikhe, toh uska peecha karne ki koshish mat karna. Woh tumhe truck ke aas paas ghuma ke tumhara time barbad karega. Woh chahta hai tum bahar raho. Aisa mat hone dena.
-Agar truck ke bahar bathroom ke dauraan tumne side se chillane ki awaz aaye toh chahe jo ho jaye sab kuch chorh ke truck ke andar bhagna aur truck vahan se nikaal Lena.
-Mileage ke bawajood, thodi der baad tumhara phone bajna shuru hoga. No matter who is calling you, don't pick it up. Caller koi bhi ho sakta hai, main bhi. Woh caller tumhe message karne ke pehle teen baar call karega. Please woh call mat uthana. Agar 3 baar uski call miss kar doge toh woh tumhe ek message bhejega, use mat kholna.
-110 kilometre ke baad tumhe dusri trucks ki headlight tumhari taraf aati dikhegi. Agar aisa ho toh apne truck ki lights aur engine band karke un trucks ke jaane ka weight karna. Repeat this step for ahy other vehicle you see.
-Apne rearview mirror par dhyan dena. Agar koi bhi truck turn lekar tumhare peeche aati dikhe toh apni gaadi ki speed badha Lena aur jald se jald wahan se nikalna. Prarthna karna ki tum unse tez ho.
-120 kilometre par tumhe ek "speed limit 20mph" ka sign dikhega. Apni truck utne hi dheere chalana kyuki zyada sound aisi cheezon ko attract kar sakta hai jinse tum milna nahin chahte. Thodi der baad NH 19 road par ek aur sign dikhega aur wahan se tum apni speed normal kar sakte ho
-130 kilometre par tumhe road ke side pe khadi ek aurat dikhegi, woh lift maang rahi hogi. Jo bhi ho jaye please use lift mat Dena aur apni gaadi dheemi mat karna. Jab tum us aurat ko pass kar jao toh apne rearview mirror me dekhna. Agar woh abhi bhi road par hi hai toh tum safe ho. Agar woh road par na dikhe toh gaadi seedhi chalana aur bhool kar bhi apni passenger seat par mat dekhna, bhale koi Naa ho udhar.
-140 kilometre paar karne ke baad tum mirzapur district mein pahuch jaoge. Yahan se tumhari journey clear hai.
-Chahe jo bhi ho jaye, journey ke kisi bhi point par apni truck turn karke wapis drive karne ki koshish mat karna. Aisa karne se tum ek loop mein phas jaoge aur tabtak drive karte reh jaoge jabtak tumhara petrol na khatam ho jaye. Agar petrol khatam hota hai toh tumhara sahara koi nahin.
-Mirzapur district pahuchne ke pehle apna gps use karne ki koshish mat karna. Agar tum Aisa karte ho toh gps tumhe ek purani road par le jayega jiska koi ant nahin hoga.
Goodluck. Regards.
No cherry.

I've spent the last one month calling random people from dhbvn to complain about power cuts. Thought of sharing these numbers that I have collated, so you too can bombard them with calls and put pressure on them. Sector 46 is in South City 2 subdivision so maybe some of these phone numbers might work for other sectors too.
Bear in mind that they hardly ever pick up calls. Their numbers are mostly busy or switched off. But once in a while if they do pick up, please give them an earful which they rightfully deserve.
I've found these phone numbers either from PDFs from dhbvns website or the guys themselves.
Vijay Pal (sub division offer): 9540925903
Ashok saini (JE): 9540951484 (you can text him on WhatsApp too, though he's also useless)
Comp 46: 8448087289 (rotating number used by the sector 46 station guys)
Sector 46 lineman: 8448117437
Other numbers of random linemen: 7988701494 (Manoj) 9050566171 9828440763
Needless to say, these guys are hardly useful. Light gayi toh you're at their mercy. But phir bhi you can try calling these numbers. Raat mein phone nahi uthate toh din mein call karke sunao. Khud so nahi pa rhe toh unhe bhi sone mat do.
We need to either come together and create a ruckus regarding power cuts. Or we leave gurgaon. At least I will.

bhai ekdum khatam ho chuka hu, kuch samajh nahi aa rha kya karu, mains mein 97 percentile ayi h, kuch nahi hone wala. bhai prep barbad kardi sochte hue ki mere bass ki nahi h jee, kabhi kuch pata nahi tha kya karna h life mein, abhi bhi nahi pata. bc sab bol rhe h coding karo coding karo, nahi karna bhai coding mujhe nahi pata mujhe kya karna h jab bolo ki nahi samajh aa rha kya karu tab boldete h ksiko nahi pata hota. arre bhai mujhe nahi hona average insaan ki tarah mkc 5 din mein advanced h kya hi ukhad lunga, december 2023 se toh padhai shuru kari thi kese karunga advanced. jee ke baad laga tha phodunga advanced ayjr mein qualify hi nahi hua bhai iss samey mein jo padhai kari uss se acha dosto ke saath sports complex chala jata aur bandi ke saath raat ko video calls karta gadho ke tarah ghiss rha hu, kuch nahi mil rha

Ye bkl ko maine dm kiya baat karte karte pata chala ye meri hi society ka hai, strange coincidence. toh bkl ko maine park me aane ke liye convince kiya for proof. to ye 26tard nahi hai 24 tard hai mains mein iske 97%ile thi aur bits me 290 karke aaya hai. toh smart toh laga mujhe.
Main mudde ke baat about alleged leaked questions. toh bol raha tha ki uske father tcs ion me hi kaam karte hai aur unko paper mile the digitally toh usko compress karke upload karne ka kaam tha unka. like they give pdf of doc the type of one they have in archives and then convert it into format that can be accessed by lakhs of computers at once on the exam day. (PAR MUJHE PATA NAHI KI SACH BOL RAHA THA YA JHOOT, CONFIDENCE USKA KUCH ALAG HI HAI, although hamari society mein bahot tcs ke hai but they are also mass recruiters so pata nahi).
Dusri kaam ki baat deleted syllabus ke question kyon daale. bolta jaan boojh ke taaki sab ko fake lage aur jyada faile na (toh I ASKED TOH FIR DALA HI KYON?) kehta reddit ne uska loneliness dur kiya tha toh in return wahi gifting shit (VICHITRA PRANI HAI BHAI). kehta mera toh delhi cs pakka hai, par bolta lonely hai koi dost nahi hai aur dummy me tha.
TLDR; Banda padhne mein thik thak lag raha tha par mentally hila type ka tha. (matlab jyada bhavnao me bah gaya type shit) overall jo paper ke docs dikha raha tha genuine lag rahe the. par bhadwe ne share nahi kiye. showoff type hi karne aaya tha. bol raha tha raat ko maths aur chem ke daalne waala tha par ban hogaya. 😂🤣 BUT I STILL DON'T TRUST HIM NEITHER SHOULD YOU!

Raat ko 3-4 baje Tak neend nahi aati ... Subah utha nahi jaata , dopahar 1-2 bajeh uthta hun , uthte hi time dekhta hun aur regret feeling aajati hai roj ... Roj roj aise regret feeling mein uthte uthte depressed hone laga hoon ...
Sabse Effective solutions batao mujhe koi ... Jaldi neend aa jaaye ek din aur next din Thora jaldi uth to start the cycle .
NOT THE 24 HOUR CHALLENGE, BEEN THERE ,DONE THAT. gets fucked up again

storytime.
din tha accounts aur business ka, mahaul tha tense aur anxious kyunki math aur gt fuck karke baithe the hum. do or die ka naara lagakar ratri jaagran karne ke baad thodi ummeed si dikhai de rahi thi.
fast forward, centre. 'global widom schol'. jo thodi ac classroom ki khwaish thi use marte hue mehsoos kiya humne. par abhi meri katni baaki thi. waah, iss school mein toh benches hi nahi hain 😊. computer lab wali kursiyan thi humare seats, library wale stools the humare tables. classroom itna chhota ki koi 2 kadam chal ke bhid jaye bkl diwaar se. stool ko straddle karke, manspread karke baithna pada jaise porno mein the hum.
fir shuru hui bakchodi invigilators ki. ek toh theek thi, doosri saali bhais ki aulaad iski maa ne kya khaakar paida kara tha bhagwan jaane, moti shakal dekh rahi thi sirf. saala paper shuru ho chuka aur chudail ki bacchi paper hi nhi deri, chai pee rahi thi suar kahin ki.
finally baati paper jab bacche chillane lage, fir sign karane laati 5;10 pe accounts ke paper ke beech. saala yahan gaand fatt rhi hai aur ye mothers name likhwa rahi thi madarchod teri aakhein noch lungi mai. fir kehti 'beta time 4;45 likhna' maine toh likh diya bhenchod 5;15. ab karaa change. fir mujhe stink eye de ke chali gayi.
paper toh accha gaya lekin khoon ubalta hai uski shakal yaad karke. note- i should become a writer. dhanyavad.

ek do dino se nightmares aa rhe raat ko, pehli baar ho rha hai aisa. abhi bhi isi wajah se neend khuli aur ab darr lag rha hai sone mein.
exactly yaad nahi reh rha kya dikh rha hai, par death ke baare mein bohot kuchh hai. ek baar kisi ocean mein thi mai, idk. jab aa rhe hai uske baad neend khul rahi hai aur chest mein dard ho rha hai. ek baar rote rote neend khuli.
idk kyu aa rhe hai, par last 1-2 mahino mein meri mental health bekar ho chuki hai. heartbreak, cousin ki death, loneliness, etc. parents ko nahi bata sakti, i tried par wo nahi samajh rhe. usually kisi friend se baat kar leti hu distract karne ke liye, par ab sab soye hai to yaha aa gayi distraction ke liye.
idk kyu post kar rhi, needed to get it off my chest ig. advice hogi to de do, i do need friends anyway.
ji haa mai subah jaldi uthke walk karti hu, paani peeti hu, socialise karti hu, to aisi advice mat hi dena😭

Pehli baar ghar ki itni yaad aa rahi hai. Humesha ghar se dur jaane ko sochti hun ab jab 2 mahine se dur hun toh lagta hai jese kuch adhoora sa hai. Mummy k haath ke khaane ki bht yaad aati hai. Bht din se papa se ladai nhi hui. Bhai k saath jhoot bolkar raat mein ghumne nhi gye. Jahan Mai hun wahan koi ghar wali feeling nhi deta. Esa lagta hai ye sab chordh kar bhaag jaun. Ye duniya toh mene kabhi dekhi hi nahi. Mai bhi is duniya ka hissa banna chahti thi toh sabki tarah banne ki koshish ki. Lkn ab lagta hai mujhmein milawat aa gyi hai. Mai jesi bhi thi theek thi, kabhi ye nhi laga ki mai bht kharab ho gyi hun Ab lagta hai is duniya ka hissa banne ki koshish mein mene apni identity Kho di

Kisi masoom bacche ki tarah Mere bhi Mann mein kuch sawal hai, Unka jawab tum dena chahogi kya?
Khule aasmaan ki tarah Meri baahe bhi khuli hai, Unme samana chahogi kya?
Saaf paani ki tarah Mera dil bhi saaf hai, Usme apna Ghar banana chahogi kya?
Zameen pe patthar ki tarah Mein bhi bikhra pada hu, Unhe samet ke mujhe apna banana chahogi kya?
Aasman mein safeed badal ki tarah Mere sach ka rang safeed hai, Usko Maan ke mereko qubool karna chahogi kya?
Behti hawao ki tarah Tere saath behna chahta hu, Mera haath pakad ke mere pyaar mein behna chahogi kya?
Chamakte sitare ki tarah Tumhari muskaan bhi chamakti hai, Usse mere saath milake mera din Roshan karna chahogi kya?
Sagar ke kinare ki tarah Mein bhi tumhara intezar karta hu, Mere jeevan mein bahav ki tarah pravesh karna chahogi kya?
Raat mein chaand ki tarah Tum meri zindagi ki roshni ho, Full moon night ki tarah meri zindagi mein apni permanent jagah banana chahogi kya?
Uche ped ki tarah Mein bhi tumhari chatr chaya ban na chahta hu, Toh tum kya mere dil mein apna tree house banana chahogi kya?
~Yash

I'm 18 currently in class 12th. Jb Maine 10th pass Kiya mera result 66.4% tha below avg student hu mujhe jee ke bare mein dost ne bataya or bola dono sath me hi preparation krenge fir bola avi 10th ke baad admission nhi lene agle saal admission lenge 11th me ek saal drop le ke 9th 10th ka basics strong kr lo pta nhi kaise ye bakchod wala idea Maine maan bhi liya or addmission nhi liya lekin us saal Maine kuch bhi nhi padha sir video games, movies, social media yhi sb Kiya pure ek saal waste kr diye fir 11th me addmission liya socha ab se padhunga fir whi haal hua padhai ka aadat hi chut gya to kaise padhta 11th bhi pura waste kr diya ek single chapter bhi nhi padha 2 saal se book copy touch bhi nhi Kiya Aisa bhi nhi tha ki Mai bohot enjoy kr rha tha lekin padhne ka bilkul maan nhi krta tha padhai se maan hi hat gya Ghar mein bhi sab bolna chor diye hai dost log ke sath reh ke Nasha bhi krne lga hu avi 12th me gya online batch liya hu pw ka sb kuch hai padhne ke liya sara resource for bhi ab maan hi nhi kr rha padhne ka 12th ka class 1 April se start hua ek single lecture nhi attend Kiya hu mujhe bhi nhi pta hai ki Mai ky kr rha hu din bhar phone use krna or raat ko soo Jana kabhi kabhi to suicide krne ka bhi Maan Kiya hai. I wasted 18 years of my life😭😓

Toh bhay bohot din ho gye mujhe rote hue aur i decided to drop this year (got 94.2 (tukke se) actual is 57%ile) got 6 months for jan attempt
Toh (starting from today kyunki 02:37 am pr likh rha hun )abse har roz mai post kra krunga ki maine apna daily goal pura kra ya nhi. There will be 4 points i will cover everyday :
CONCLUSION (jisse tumhe sbse pehle pta lge ki maine goal complete kra ya nhi )
HOW DAY WENT
WHAT I LEARNT TODAY (jo kuch bhi mujhe important pta lga ya observe kra maine )
abhi ke liye 3 h age add kr dunga
fayda : is se ham dono ka fayda h tumhe meri glti se seekhne ko milega (tum bhi mere saath shuru kr skte ho comment mein completed ya kuch likh dena ) aur mujhe rahega ki mujhe post krna h toh daily goal complete krna padega.
gonna improve : currently my sitting ability is 1.5 hr with focus toh i'm gonna improve this aur i got this bad habit of opening insta and reddit again and again
restriction : study goal khtm krke hi instagram kholunga (break mein bhi nhi kholunga) aur ye post likhne ke liye raat mein open krunga ye sub jis se mujhe ye rhe ki sona bhi h toh time waste na ho
studying from prayas dropper batch (actually gonna start from 27) tb tk advance ke liye padhunga (ik stupid h pr is se mujhe pressure handle krne ka intro milega aur satisfaction ki maine mehnat kri h kam se kam quit nhi kra ) aur improvement ke liye bhi padhunga har roz 2 ghnta (khair this point i'll cover later )
guys pls u can give me sarcasm aur gali bakna jiss din maine goal pura nhi kra (hr roz krunga goal pura) i'll take it as constructive feedback
goal : jee mein 95+%ile (kyunki nit ece iss baar bhi mil jayegi) aur adv mein iit (is ke liye hi drop le rha)
toh yeah u can join me if you want
213 din 213 post

Till 10th I was a good student like padhai mei bhi accha and all phir aise hi boards mei (state board) 91% ke saath socha tha arts lunga (ias Officer ban na tha ) but Ghar walo ne science pe laga diya Doctor banna padhega bolke, phir aise hi maine bhi socha doctor baan ke baad mei ias ke liye choose kar lunga, then phir start hua mera life ka downfall. I choosed a private college with a good reputation (nam nhi lunga) and many good students like state toppers etc. so humlog ka class, boards results ke lakbhag 10 din baad hi start ho gya tha, lekin mein late join karlia tha like 1 - 2months late (kyuki tab mei arts/science kaunsa loo chakkar mei phas gya tha) aur hamare classes like bohut aage chalegye, mein like blank kuch bhi samaj nhi aarha tha like teaches sab 11th ke motion in plane Tak pauch gya the aur muje tabtak units and dimensions bhi nhi aata tha. Phir aisehi mera 11th chala gya with 0 knowledge kuch bhi nhi aata tha like 0 Bhai 0 aur hostel mei rehta tha toh wah bhi utna padhai ka patner guide wagera nhi tha. And Ghar walo se pressure itna tha (because we are lower middle class ) ki acche institution ke bawajut tuje kuch nhi aata etc. and aisehi mera 11th barbaad ho gya, jab board aaya 11th ke mera percentage around 32 huwa aur school walo ne jaise taise pass kar wa Diya nhi toh 11th pe hi fail ho jata, phir Ghar walo nhi din raat pressure dena start kya, like kya hoga tera tu kuch nhi kar sakta etc. And 12th mei jab Aya toh meine socha liya tha acche se padhunga and all and was everything was going right mere marks bhi tode tode improve huwe like bohot mehnat kya bohot and like test marks bhi improve hone lage tution bhi laya liya tha. Phir jab 12th ke beech Wale din I got myself into a trouble. I fell in love with a girl (online) hum dono ke thoughts taste music and all same hone ke karan ek dusre se pyaar ho gya tha and like later I realised woh toh alag hi tha like usse baat karne ke liye mein apna padhai aadha adhura chor deta tha(kyuki usko sirf ek limited time phone milta tha and like mere padhai ke time hi milta tha aur baaki ke team ya toh mei tution jata ya toh woh) phirse mera marks girne suru ho gaya because of lack of time in studies and then aisehi days went by like I managed somehow todha marks kaam ho jata phirbhi i sticked to her and then aisehi karte karte mera boards aayga , and also I thought I was ready for everything, but ek or unfortunate event ho gya, wo ladki apne ex ke saath phirse chaligyi in between my boards exam she broke up with me (like she was with me for just time pass? Kya woh sab baatein was waste?) and uske wajah se mera boards bhi kharab ho gya kyuki usko time Dena padta tha and as result mere issaal ke boards pe 78 percentage ho gya 😭😭 how i am supposed to do now? My parents don't know a thing about this all they are just putting pressure like you don't want to study, tuje padhai karne nhi dega abse tu kaam karne jayega , etc kuch din pehle neet and jee ka exam Diya tha jo ladka 11th mei 0 tha woh neet ke kuch din pehle pure bio and physics ko 2 baar padh dala and uska expected score aa rha hai around 374 and maths aur physics karke (chemistry weak mera) jee mei uska aaya tha around 73 percentile aaya tha. And now the question is do I deserve it? Do I deserve a chance for the next year. A drop is it will be worth it? Kya mei woh kar paunga ? The pain in me is always hitting me guys please help I just want to kms parents ke expectations the acche karge but nhi ab boj ban gya hu ab toh woh unlog ko dekhne se bhi bura lagta hai😭 guys please help suggest me what should I do ? Should I just kms? I can't handle anymore failures

We are so fucking back, Idk kya depression mein padh gya raat ko, feeling a lot more confident, Was down playing kitna prep mein actually kiya h. Sab bc phodo aaj ka exam. All the very fucking best y’all 💯💯

mere literally 70s mei aa rahe even though i studied quite a bit and questions bhi kare hai but its always those silly mistake anyways i am done bhai already in logo ne centre ka itna stress dediya hai and why are they changing it like every 2 hours
meine 5 baje check kiya toh ek centre dikha raha tha by chance reddit post dekha toh abb centre badal gaya mei abb raat tak printout bhi nahi nikalwa sakta ki kab badal de
life is getting more and more fucked