Research: https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.10.28.466231v1.full
PDF document: https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.10.28.466231v1.full.pdf

Abstract

It is well attested that people predict forthcoming information during language comprehension. The literature presents different proposals on how this ability could be implemented. Here, we tested the hypothesis according to which language production mechanisms have a role in such predictive processing. To this aim, we studied two electroencephalographic correlates of predictability during speech comprehension ‒ pretarget alpha‒beta (8-30 Hz) power decrease and the post-target N400 event-related potential (ERP) effect, ‒ in a population with impaired speech-motor control, i.e., adults who stutter (AWS), compared to typically fluent adults (TFA). Participants listened to sentences that could either constrain towards a target word or not, allowing or not to make predictions. We analyzed time-frequency modulations in a silent interval preceding the target and ERPs at the presentation of the target. Results showed that, compared to TFA, AWS display: i) a widespread and bilateral reduced power decrease in posterior temporal and parietal regions, and a power increase in anterior regions, especially in the left hemisphere (high vs. low constraining) and ii) a reduced N400 effect (non-predictable vs. predictable). The results suggest a reduced efficiency in generating predictions in AWS with respect to TFA. Additionally, the magnitude of the N400 effect in AWS is correlated with alpha power change in the right pre-motor and supplementary motor cortex, a key node in the dysfunctional network in stuttering. Overall, the results support the idea that processes and neural structures prominently devoted to speech planning and execution support prediction during language comprehension.

Introduction

Research on human language has traditionally treated production and comprehension as separate systems, with minimal interaction. This view has been supported by findings in classic aphasiology and language acquisition, showing asymmetries in these abilities in brain-lesioned patients and children. However, recent research suggests that these asymmetries do not necessarily indicate separate systems. Instead, the neural substrates for comprehension and production largely overlap, implying shared processes and representations.

Focus on Prediction

This study investigates prediction, a crucial aspect of integrated language approaches. Language comprehension involves both bottom-up and top-down processes, where comprehenders actively predict forthcoming information. This prediction is thought to be linked to production processes, particularly through covert simulations using motor-to-sensory forward models, which are used to monitor one's own speech and predict incoming speech during comprehension.

Relevance of Stuttering

People who stutter (PWS) provide a suitable population to test the hypothesis that speech production mechanisms contribute to prediction during comprehension. Developmental stuttering (DS) involves disrupted speech flow due to deficits in planning, timing, and executing speech-motor sequences. PWS show abnormalities in various brain regions associated with speech production and in white matter structures of speech-motor pathways.

Neurocomputational Models

The DIVA/GODIVA and HSFC models highlight the importance of sensorimotor integration in speech production, where motor plans predict sensory consequences. DS may result from impaired feedforward processing or inefficient motor-to-sensory predictions, leading to an overreliance on feedback control systems.

Electrophysiological Evidence

Electrophysiological techniques, such as EEG and MEG, show that alpha (8-12 Hz) and beta (13-30 Hz) power decreases are associated with speech planning and execution. In PWS, these frequency bands are abnormally modulated, indicating inefficient motor-to-sensory transformations and poor coordination of speech production regions.

Hypothesis and Experimental Design

Given the impaired speech-motor control in DS, it is hypothesized that PWS will exhibit atypical prediction processes during comprehension. The study focuses on two electrophysiological correlates of predictability: the pre-target alpha-beta power decrease and the post-target N400 event-related potential (ERP) effect.

Pre-Target Power Decrease

In typical populations, alpha and beta power decreases are observed before predictable words during comprehension, suggesting shared processes for predicting and producing language. Previous studies have shown that these power decreases are correlated with predictability in frontal brain regions involved in speech production, which are also implicated in DS.

N400 Effect

The N400 ERP effect is a robust marker of predictive processing, elicited by predictable versus non-predictable words. Previous studies have found a reduced N400 effect in PWS in response to semantic violations, indicating impaired semantic integration. However, the N400 response to non-anomalous predictable versus non-predictable words in PWS has not been investigated.

Methodology

The experiment involved adults who stutter (AWS) and typically fluent adults (TFA) performing a sentence comprehension task. The predictability of the final word was manipulated by the preceding sentential context, with sentence frames being either highly (HC) or low constraining (LC). Oscillatory activity was analyzed in the silent interval before the target word, and ERPs were computed at the onset of the target word, focusing on the N400 time-window (300-500 ms post-target).

Expected Outcomes

If DS affects predictive efficiency during comprehension, AWS are expected to show a reduced alpha-beta power decrease before the target word and a reduced N400 effect compared to TFA. This would support the hypothesis that speech production mechanisms contribute to predictive processes during language comprehension.

Discussion

This study explored electrophysiological correlates of predictability—pre-target alpha-beta power decrease and post-target N400 effect—between adults who stutter (AWS) and typically fluent adults (TFA). The aim was to determine if speech-motor control deficits in AWS affect prediction during spoken language comprehension. Findings revealed that AWS exhibit less consistent alpha-beta power decreases before predictable words, mainly in posterior areas, and a significantly reduced N400 effect compared to TFA. These results indicate inefficient prediction processes in AWS.

Alpha-Beta Power Decrease

• Findings in AWS: The alpha-beta power decrease was less pronounced and primarily restricted to left posterior areas, with a notable absence in anterior regions.
• Findings in TFA: Both anterior and posterior regions showed power decreases.
• Group Comparison: Differences in power modulation suggest AWS and TFA use different prediction mechanisms. AWS showed reduced power decreases in posterior areas and power increases in frontal areas, though the latter might not be statistically significant.
• Functional Interpretation: Alpha-beta power decreases are linked to cortical engagement and information richness, suggesting AWS have less precise pre-activated information. Power increases in AWS may indicate inhibitory control to prevent incorrect activations, aligning with known deficits in inhibitory processing in AWS.

N400 Effect

• Findings in AWS: Both groups showed an N400 effect, but it was attenuated in AWS. The difference was driven by responses to predictable words, suggesting less efficient top-down facilitation of bottom-up processing in AWS.
• Functional Interpretation: The reduced N400 effect indicates less efficient auditory prediction, likely due to malfunctioning speech-motor systems.

Correlations Between Power Modulations and N400 Effect

• AWS: Positive correlations were found between alpha power in right supplementary and premotor areas and N400 amplitude, suggesting less cortical engagement is associated with a reduced N400 effect. These regions are crucial in the speech-motor network, indicating a role in coordinating sensorimotor information for prediction.
• TFA: A power decrease in the beta range in the left inferior frontal cortex correlated with a stronger N400 effect, highlighting this region's involvement in prediction.

Implications and Theoretical Models

• Speech Production and Prediction: The results support the DIVA/GODIVA model, emphasizing the integration of speech production and self-monitoring in prediction processes.
• AWS Deficits: The findings suggest that suboptimal feedforward performance in AWS's sensorimotor systems leads to inefficient planning and prediction, affecting proactive processing during speech comprehension.

Conclusions

The study provides evidence that speech-motor control deficits in AWS impact their ability to predict during spoken language comprehension. This inefficiency is reflected in altered alpha-beta power modulations and a reduced N400 effect, pointing to broader implications for understanding the neural underpinnings of stuttering and its effects on language processing.
We studied the electrophysiological correlates of prediction during auditory language comprehension in adults who stutter. We found evidence for less efficient prediction in this population. This study adds novel evidence in support of the involvement of the neural infrastructure devoted to speech-motor control in prediction during speech comprehension. The study ultimately stresses two major points: i) a more integrated investigation of language comprehension and production is desirable, and we advocate for a view in which the two modalities are seen as task sets drawing from at least partially shared resources, rather than two separate systems (see e.g., McQueen and Meyer, 2019), and ii) the investigation of on-line speech/language comprehension in DS, in addition to speech/language production, should be further pursued, in order to attain a better understanding of the neural architecture of language in healthy and/or pathological conditions. Specifically, regarding DS, we suggest that the role of executive functions and inhibitory control should be further investigated and taken as potential targets for better speech therapy interventions, extending treatment techniques using cognitive and linguistic approaches in addition to approaches mainly focused on “classical” fluency-shaping techniques. Future research should investigate which representations and processes are implicated in different tasks (and how), in order to better specify the language architecture and language use. This, in turn, can help in the development of more effective therapeutic approaches to developmental and acquired disorders of both language comprehension and production.

The enduring cost-of-living crisis (which is expected to peak this summer) and skyrocketing fuel and energy prices have put small businesses and households up against the wall.
Default market offers (DMOs), a regulatory price cap — that energy retailers have to abide by — set on standard plans, rose to $227 in NSW; $165 in Queensland and $61 in Victoria in May this year.
To cushion the deteriorating effects of such events, the Australian government has allocated $62.6 million for an energy efficiency grants program for small (and medium) size businesses in budget 2022.
Energy is one of the most important aspects for any business, be it small or big. In Australia, small businesses are going through an impact due to a surge in power bills.
Understanding the usage of electricity when it comes to small businesses is also significant and crucial.
In this blog, we try to analyse the problem and try to figure out possible solutions, particularly for the summer when power usage gets high for most businesses in hospitality and service.
Here, you also get tips to reduce power bills during summer and also in the longer run.

Skyrocketing power prices

Owing to the energy crisis, power bills have surged and this has created worry among small businesses.
Experts have predicted a steep increase in retail power prices, which adds to the worry, and it is not easy for small businesses to keep functioning under such circumstances.
The recent Ukraine-Russia war has added fuel to the fire with an increase in oil and gas prices as the coal-backed power stations have undergone outages.
The rising power bills have added to the woes of small business owners, who had already faced hard times because of the pandemic. Other major areas which have troubled small business owners include supply chain crunch and extreme staff shortages.
These have contributed to additional wage bills. Small businesses like salons to hospitality and dry cleaners are mostly affected by the surge in power prices, and they are looking for remedies to this adverse situation.
Industrial and commercial users who have high power usage, such as supermarkets, are exposed to the current market scenario. These also include high wholesale costs and added network charges.

Energy usage in businesses

Coming to the important factor, which is energy usage by businesses, let us uncover how much of it is used as such.
As per an estimate, the average electricity consumption by any Australian small business is in-between 13,000 and 36,000 kWh (kilowatt-hours) per hour and this is an estimate for the small businesses in Australia.
The consumption is also dependent upon location, tariff, and nature of business. Though it must be noted that the electricity consumption also depends upon the size of the business, operational hours, total power usage requirements and energy efficiency.
There are different appliances and equipment that use energy to varying degrees. Air conditioning, heating appliances, lighting, laptops, computers, printers, internet routers, modems, refrigerators, and dishwashers are the usual suspects in small and medium business setups who are devourer of power.
Talking about Australia in particular, there are industries that use most of the electricity. At the top position is the manufacturing industry, which uses as much as 52,461 gigawatt hours as estimated by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
The mining industry is the second-highest consumer of electricity, with the usage of up to 23,424 GWh yearly. After mining comes the electricity, gas and water sector, which consumes up to 6,543 GWh per year.
The least amount of electricity is consumed by the construction industry, which amounts to 2,138 GWh annually. Coming to the average office power bill, the same amounts to $1045.

Reading your electricity bill

About 23% of Australian businesses reported that their energy requirements increased during the winter. The same goes true for the summer, when many businesses report an increase in their energy usage.
There are means by which small businesses can reduce their energy consumption. To begin with, they need to understand their business energy requirements. They need to figure out the appliances or equipment that use the most electricity.
Monitoring energy spending is another facet where they can control the usage of electricity. This could be done by installing energy monitors and then monitoring and understanding your energy usage patterns.
Installing solar panels and batter storage can also help in reducing the dependence upon energy retailers and small businesses can therefore cut down their power bills.
Albeit, the capital costs of solar panels are high, but it pays off well in the long run.
Finding the best electricity tariff deal for the business can also work out wonders. This can be done by comparing the commercial electricity plans and by researching and comparing the usage and supply of the power. Small businesses can also look for government-backed rebates and incentives.

Avail rebates offered by various state governments

Small businesses can also avail rebates offered by different state governments. They can replace old appliances like cloth dryers, heating and cooling appliances, fridges, freezers, hot water systems, commercial lighting, outdoor lighting, motors, and so on.
The various state governments offer rebates and products that can help small businesses save some money. To cite an example here, business can get rebates under VEU program in Victoria and ESS program in NSW.
The Australian government has set a green house gas reduction target of 43% below 2005 levels. The government aims to achieve it through transitioning from gas and fossil fuels to renewable sources of energy and energy efficiency programs like VEU and ESS.
The rebates, incentives, and discounts that are given to businesses for energy-efficient lighting upgrades vary in accordance with energy certificate price and type of activity.

10 tips for reducing energy usage in summer

Let us now share with you the tips that can help to reduce energy usage in summer. These tips can help small businesses to reduce energy use and save money in the longer run.

• Choose a better energy retailer: compare the tariff offered by various energy retailers and choose the one offering the best deal.
• Go solar: A good alternative to grid power is solar power, and many small businesses throughout the world have cut down their dependence upon grid power by opting for solar power. Though the installation costs are higher, in the long-run, it gives respite to the businesses.
• Install LED lights: Energy-efficient LED lights equipped with add-ons like motion sensors offers greatest energy savings and longest lifespan.
• Run an energy audit: For this purpose, you can hire a company which helps you in auditing your energy usage. This provides you with a good perspective on all your energy needs and supply.
• Replace old appliances: Replace old and inefficient appliances with new ones. Check if you are eligible for incentives / rebates for the upgrades you’re planning to do.
• Use blinds to control direct sunlight: In the summer, blinds come handy to regulate temperature inside a workplace.
• Plant trees around your premises: Planting trees is a decent way to control the impact of outside weather on your building. It gives respite both in winters and summers.
• Install heat pumps: Heat pumps are a low-carbon emission and energy saving alternative to traditional air-conditioners. They can also be used for air-conditioning, space heating and water heating. When used for heating purpose, heat pumps are 3 to 4 times more efficient than conventional air-conditioners. In Australia, the annual energy cost of gas storage water heaters are 2.5 times more than high efficiency heat pump water heaters.
• Adjust your thermostat: Setting thermostat to 23–25 degree Celsius range is ideal for summer. Raising it by one or two notches brings more energy-savings.
• Apply reflective coating: By applying reflective coatings on external surfaces, small business owners can better regulate temperature inside the workplace and reduce energy usage of air-con system.
• Regular maintenance of appliances

If you've been scrolling through Instagram lately, you've probably seen those stunning plants with perfect leaves, gorgeous colors, and all-around flawless vibes. It's awesome to snap pics of them fresh from the nursery, but let's be real—it's even better when you can keep them looking Insta-ready for the long haul. That's where I come in! My goal is to help you ace plant care so your favorites stay vibrant and thriving.
Today, I want to share a little personal story about my rubber plant. I'll walk you through how I accidentally over-watered it and, thankfully, caught the issue before things got dire. If you're a fellow rubber plant parent, I hope my experience can save you from the same mishap!

THE RUBBER PLANT IS A HARDY SPECIES, NO NEED TO OVER-CARE

I was gearing up for a holiday and decided to give my rubber plant (Ficus Elastica) one last watering. I usually handle watering with care because this plant doesn't handle excessive moisture well.
At home, my rubber plant sits in its original plastic pot, nestled inside a larger decorative ceramic one, all topped off with a thick layer of moss (as you can see in the picture). This setup makes it tricky for me to reach the plastic pot directly, so I often resort to watering from above, which isn't ideal. Ideally, I'd prefer soaking it in a tray from below to ensure the water is absorbed evenly and excess can be drained off.
But this time, with my impending trip, I had no choice but to water from above. I gave it about a glassful of water and headed off on vacation. I bet many of you can relate to this scenario! Little did I know what would happen next. When I returned, two of the bottom leaves were showing signs of distress—they had turned yellow. Sadly, one of them dropped this morning when I moved the plant, and I fear the other might follow soon.
Let's break down what went wrong here and see what we can learn from it.
THE STEP-BY-STEP OVER-WATERING DRAMA

• The soil started off completely dry, yet the plant seemed healthy.
• Looking ahead to my holiday, I watered it from above, probably too much at once. The water didn't distribute evenly, and the excess didn't drain properly.
• As a result, the roots at the bottom of the pot were left sitting in water for days.
• In response, the plant decided to shed its older leaves at the bottom of the stem to conserve energy for new growth (those large leaves directly attached to the main stem are the oldest).
• In hindsight, I should have either watered more evenly or used the soaking technique, which tends to yield better results.
• To remedy the situation, I stopped watering her for a longer period, trimmed the dead leaves, and let her be. I realized she can thrive on neglect and that I was being a bit too attentive. Lesson learned—she's a resilient plant!

My Tips for Rubber Plant Care (Ficus Elastica)

• I've found that watering from below works best—just soak the plant in a tray for a couple of hours. It's more even and reduces the risk of over-watering.
• When watering, don't overdo it and ensure all excess water drains out of the pot. No soggy roots, please! To achieve this, I lift the plant by its plastic pot and gently shake it to help water drain from the holes. I then let it sit outside the decorative pot for a few hours before returning it.
• Rubber plants are tough and can handle dry soil, so lean towards under-watering rather than over-watering.
• Yellow or brown older leaves (usually the largest ones at the bottom) signal overwatering.
• Allow the soil to completely dry out between waterings, especially during longer intervals.
• If yellow or brown spots start from the center of the leaf and spread outward, it's another sign of overwatering.
• Conversely, if the plant is under-watered, all the leaves—not just the bottom ones—will become limp or droopy.
• In dry air, the leaf tips may dry out first, with yellow or brown spots developing inward.
• Well-hydrated rubber plants have strong, firm leaves with a glossy, waxy appearance.

The Right Light for Rubber Plants
The rubber plant, a favorite among Invincible Houseplants, impresses with its resilience. It thrives in various light conditions, from bright indirect sunlight to low light, and can tolerate extended periods without water.
Fascinating Facts About Ficus Elastica
Belonging to the renowned Ficus (or Fig) family, the rubber plant originally produced a milky white latex used in rubber making. While another species has since taken its place in rubber production, the plant's Latin name, 'Elastica', still recalls its historic connection to elasticity.

We both did a big chop in November 2022. She had been straightening her hair permanently many many years and she did the same with my hair when I was growing up because it was just easier to manage. I have 3b hair and I started my natural hair journey in March 2017 with a big chop because I was so tired of my hair that just wasn't growing and always looked so dry and damaged. Now we both have healthy curly hair that has grown a lot and I think she looks good with her hair but she is tired of it already. She gets up early and doesn't have time to make it look "nice" in the morning so she always puts it in a bun which she is tired of. And then she has to put up with comments from her colleagues at work who just don't understand how curly hair works.
She has done box braids like 5 times maybe since she cut it off and she thought it looked fine but was uncomfortable and annoying to take out. She also wears a helmet a lot because my parents go motorcycling so that was extra painful.
Based on all of this information, what do you think I can say to her to get her to reconsider getting her hair relaxed? I know how much she disliked her hair when it was straightened and damaged and I just don't want to see her waste the progress she has made. I think she will like her hair more and more the longer it gets so I think she just needs to wait a few more years. Obviously it's her choice and all of the options have downsides but I just want her to see that her natural hair is beautiful and worth the effort.

So, I always wanted to try out ComfyUI in the past. So after someone recently pointing out to me, that Comfy among other things wouldn't be as much of a VRAM hog. Especially with SDXL and ControlNet. Or Upscaling. Which is true as my first impression. Generations seem to be a little bit faster than compared to A1111 indeed, even when upscaling. Speaking of, I haven't had a single OoM error in all those hours since I started using it. So that's definitely a point for Comfy.
My first couple of 2-3 hours were more or less spent by watching basics tutorials and getting used to the nodes system. Of course, the whole node system can be very overwhelming at first. Especially since a workflow can end up being a confusing blob of nodes and connections. Not saying on is better over the other, but a clean GUI like A1111 and co use are way more intuitive on the surface. For now, I handle it as a tie.
Haven't much used LorAs so far. That's one of the unchecked things on my experimental To-Do list. But as far as I under stand I can basically chain up LoRa loaders and link them with my Clip (prompt), right? I also saw, there's a custom node called "LoRa Stacker" wich can apply 3 Lora per Node. Again still need to get into the topic more. Q: Do I still need to put trigger words in the prompt. Or is it enough in Comfy to just load and connect?
As far as using ControlNet. I learned he basics of how to set them up. But somehow I feel, compared to A1111 the results are not as good. But again, maybe I just lack experience yet.
But what I definitely noticed so far. Why is there no proper and simple Regional Prompting solution for Comfy. In a video I found a custom node from a guy named DaveMage or something. I didn't really get it to work or the results were pretty meh. Also, very fiddly to set up; Requiring one Prompt Clip Node per region instead of just trigger the region break with a prompt. Compared to Mikubills RegionPrompter in A1111 for example. Another topic I need to deep dive into. That point clearly goes to A1111. Or at least until I found a better working solution.
Another question: I already learned, that when I drag and drop a picture generated with comfy into the workspace. It exactly loads up THAT workflow. But what can I do, when I just want to check out the prompts or some specific settings of an previously generated image, without loading the complete workflow (and worse), replacing the current one. Same for Images created with A1111

If you have any questions then ask in the comments. I'd be very happy to elaborate on any details if I can :). One aspect missing here is wildlife which I haven't fully thought out yet.
The great wastes:
The great wastes are a vast desert that takes up the majority of the northern regions. Due to how unbelievably dry this area is, little to no clouds form and thus it is incredibly hard to use airships to travel above the wastes and thus the stilt travellers were constructed. The great wastes are made of two main layers, the upper and lower layers. The upper layer is an incredibly thick layer of sand, sandstone and other light minerals. This makes the upper layers very fragile and barely able to support any heavy weight. Building large or even small buildings on the wastes will quite quickly lead to them causing the fragile upper layer above them to collapse and for them to fall into the unforgiving depths of the lower layers. The lower layers are cmuch more dense, made of hard volcanic rock covered by a much thicker blend of sand and 1`1other minerals, many being rather reactive to certain conditions. The lower layer and upper layer are separated by a vast underground cave network, with truly monumentally large caverns that stretch for many miles, in some they are so unfathomably large that you could travel for days and not reach an edge. The upper layer is supported by many tree trunk like columns made of a mix of sand covering pillars of what is presumed to be denser tougher rocks that litter the lower layer. Surprisingly, it’s not completely dark down here in these caverns. Due to how fragile the upper layer is, parts of the upper layer occasionally collapse leaving ‘small’ (relatively speaking) holes where sunlight is let through. The wastes cover a massive volcanic area which is where the lower volcanic rock base of the lower layer comes from. The sandy cover that lies on top of this volcanic layer is a mix between sand from the top layer and many materials that can violently react with the ultraviolet light from the sun, slowly melting the volcanic rock from below, thus allowing for new molten rock to escape out of the newly produced hole in the lower layer. This molten rock builds up overtime, somewhat fusing and collecting the sand from the lower layer around it to form a new supporting trunk of the upper layer. With enough trunks forming close enough together, they form larger support structures possibly splitting larger caverns into two.
Stilt travellers and stilt cities:
Originally, small mining outposts were set up near the safer, more stable edges of the wastes as bases of operations to collect the rich minerals found in the sand of the bottom layer of the wastes. These bases would often expand into wealthy towns, however their greed would almost always get the better of them and they would starve the nearby caverns of any riches and would kill their economy through their own greed often leading to many of these towns to be abandoned, sitting empty, gathering dust or slowly being covered up by the sand. In solution to the dwindling resources round the edge of the wastes, the stilt travellers were constructed. Stilt travellers, or waste walkers as they were commonly referred to, were absolutely gargantuan machines made up of a huge platform with a central "capital tower" which was used for command of the traveller and also was housing for the main power generator for these grand machines. This platform was supported by a large number of at least 10 stilts for the smaller walkers, to upwards of 50 or more for the larger ones. These stilts pierce the upper layer of the wastes and use the much denser and more stable lower layer for support. Each stilt can take an exceptionally long time to move, as to not collapse sections of the upper layer. There are multiple reasons behind this, firstly collapsed parts of the upper layer make it more difficult to collect the minerals on the lower layer, and secondly, the more sunlight that reaches the bottom the more chemicals react with the UV light and slowly melt through either the stilts themselves, or more likely the volcanic rock of the lower layer and possibly cause rather extreme reactions and possible volcanic based accidents. Most stilts are also roughly the same size, different sized walkers instead having either more or less instead of larger or smaller stilts, this is because if the average size of the stilts is the perfect size as to not collapse and still be able to pierce the upper layer while still keeping enough strength to support the walker.
A lot of walkers have been and still are used as pirate vessels, still used for resource gathering, but in a different manner. Often stripped of their mining equipment and replaced with gun platforms and airship docks, these walkers would generally send out airships as scout craft to locate and/or attack and rob other walkers of mainly food and water, but also minerals and other riches the walker had collected. These pirate walkers were titled ‘Baydan rigs’ after probably the most infamous, powerful and ruthless captains of a pirate walker, the Sami-Elf captain, Reesimear Baydan. Him, his Baydan rig, the 'iminent damnation', and his crew were personally responsible for the destruction of 23 other stilt walkers and the robbing of countless others, his most famous, also however his last attack being upon the stilt city of ‘Gralence’. His attack heavily crippled Gralence however he was killed during a daring assault upon the capital tower while in a duel with the famed General Paul Ideseah. His Baydan rig was stripped for anything useful and used as a ‘burial ground’ for his crew, who were tied to poles in the middle of the skeleton of the walker and left to starve and boil under the glaring sun. His corpse was then beheaded, tied up and hung under the grand capital tower. After his flesh and organs rotted away his remains were moved into the Gralence museum, along with his armour, clothes and weapons. His helmet however was repurposed as a pauldron worn by Paul Ideseah till his passing.
Stilt Cities are what came from the stilt travellers staying out on the wastes for so long, slowly becoming much more than just mobile mining platforms. Expanding the travellers size, adding more stilts, adding to the services of the traveller I:e: more airship landing pads, shops, more permanent housing, etc… etc…, and oftentimes two or more stilt travellers would join together to make one larger stilt traveller. These modifications and expansions These stilt cities would slowly grow, becoming a hub of trade, mining, sometimes even tourism in the grandest stilt cities. The largest stilt cities, some of the most notable being ‘Gralence’ as mentioned above, ‘Zurat’ or ‘Teskart’, can reach such ridiculous sizes that even from the centre of the city the edges almost slip over the horizon.
While it is a rare sight, untampered stilt travellers still only built for mining can be found in the wastes if only very rarely, still these “normal” stilt travellers are often not far from a larger stilt city that use them as a satellite walker for easier, more specialised mining.
While the stilt cities are almost always incredibly rich on minerals and industrial resources but are incredibly lacking in stuff like water and food, mostly at least. Thus Stilt cities almost always solely live off of trade. Some of the larger cities are able to produce a minimal amount of food or collect enough water that they are able to self sustain themselves for a very limited time, but the wastes are dry and harsh environments and it is incredibly hard to sustain any food source for an extended period of time without outside assistance. Thus stilt cities rely on trade and travellers, mainly by airship, from the southern lands to supply them with food and water they need to survive. Often smaller stilt cities will be subject to a large amount of illegal trafficking with gangs and other criminal organisations from the south out of desperation for food or other needs. Larger stilt cities, while certainly NOT immune to this corruption, can survive relatively safely off of their own strong economic and social influence.

Reconstruction
First Prev
The two that Amara had introduced, Merana and Teleya, were a researcher and a team leader respectively. They were to take Carbon from the impromptu surgical suite over to where the Xenotechnology teams worked on analysis and replication, and then assist her with anything that she needed.
“It was very unexpected, but I am glad that the Empress requested the Integration project be moved onto the Sword of the Morning Light. The accommodations are much nicer, and the equipment is newer. Some of the things we requisitioned years ago were actually brought in!” Merana was in his forties, gray fur starting to turn silver, and he was extremely talkative. He had started perhaps two steps from where they were introduced and did not let up, speaking at a breakneck pace, hands gesturing with every word, eyes never staying put even when in a corridor that had nothing of note to look at. “Deep layer scanners that were made in the decade. Actual new printers! I do not know if it is too much to ask, but if you were to mention to the Empress that we appreciate these new laboratories...”
“Merana.” There was just a hint of reproach in Teleya’s voice. She was the exact opposite, so far. The definition of reserved, which fit with the crown of silver fur encroaching between her antennae. After a very brief introduction, she had remained silent until Merana had started asking favors of Carbon.
“Do not mistake my intent.” He shushed Teleya with a wave of his hand, but he seemed to pick up what she was driving at with that single word and deflected to a slightly different tack. “I have always enjoyed this assignment, it is fascinating to see what the other species in the universe are up to. But the previous labs were... Those fields were poorly tilled. The integration of the Human ship into the station’s systems was unorthodox but understandable, given how much material we acquire from them. A Proximax cargo hauler. Room for thousands of their standardized containers. Yes, it was quite old, but there were some phenomenal systems on board. The engines were astonishing. Not as efficient as the systems we put on our haulers, of course, but the configuration allowed for an utterly unreasonable energy throughput for sublight acceleration.”
‘Utterly unreasonable’ described about 75% of Human ship design, by her estimation. “I am sorry, did you say thousands of containers?” Carbon inquired as they passed back into the common area, the seating all cleared out now. She had seen plenty of the ships the Confederation had now, including one of the truly massive Pathfinders which also held thousands of their standardized containers.
“Five thousand, if my memory serves. It was an ugly ship, a great brick of protective panels. While the storage area was not pressurized, it did have several inspection gantries that allowed us to access individual containers. We put it to use as a very orderly warehouse. I do miss that.” He added far more than he had to, and he was very pleased to do so. “Doubled the habitable space on the station, as well.”
That was strange. While she was previously aware of the existence of the Xenotechnology Research unit, the fact they had a space station, with a massive Human made cargo ship integrated into it was news to her. It hadn’t really ever been a high visibility sort of thing, of course. The idea the Tsla’o Empire was scrabbling around looking to see what they could abscond with from the other races was not in line with how they viewed themselves. “That is impressive, you must have had much to store if a warehouse that large was called for. Where was it all coming from?”
Teleya took the lead, directing them back into a warren of hallways.
“Oh, we only had about a thousand containers in it, and they were not particularly full. We have a crew using a Human ship, the Serenity, to visit the edges of Human space to trade for scrap or salvage. Humans will part with a surprising array of things when they are operating out at the very edges of their frontiers. That is how I first came to work here, counterfeiting Human manufactured colloids for their construction printers as a trade item. It was an interesting little job - if you presented a product that was too good, it was suspicious to them. They thought it was either recently stolen and ‘hot’ or it was a police operation to catch thieves, and they’d dump it and leave without finishing the transaction. So we roughed the bags up a little bit, tossed them around the floor and kicked them down stairs. Drained a few as though they’d been used briefly - that was my idea - and damaged the cryptoseal enough to render it useless on about two-thirds of the units.” He laughed as they turned down another hallway. “Made them all actually look stolen. They were fully functional, of course. We had a reputation to make.”
“Fascinating.” A little worrisome, too. That was a lot of interacting with Humans, and not the ones that were supported by the Confederation, apparently. That idea in and of itself did not bother her, but... where had they gotten those ships? Had the Empire been doing business with Human pirates? Or just pioneers out past their own borders who didn’t have much interest in exactly who they were doing business with? “These dealings have been equitable?”
“I assume as much. The terms had to be agreed upon by both parties, and the Serenity was a light freighter, no offensive capability to speak of. That’s why it was shadowed by a cloaked frigate.” He stopped speaking for a moment, pointing at the door Teleya was unlocking. “Ah, here we are.”
Teleya opened the door and stepped back to allow them inside. Carbon found the work area to be a bit sparse. Lots of workstations, some obviously claimed by the amount of personalization present. Jackets hung over the backs of chairs, small plants, holos and printed pictures alike. Two conference rooms with big holographic tables in the back wall, and a couple of matter printers - looked like Ke-330 variants, based on the printhead. Not exactly the newest gear, but well maintained.
“I will show you to an available workstation. If you would get the Princess the documentation regarding the PINs, Merana?” She delegated, pointing Carbon to an obviously unused desk.
“Of course.” Merana bowed out of the conversation, literally, and bustled off to retrieve the data.
“Everything is held off network?” Carbon inquired while inspecting the clean white desktop. She had started to reach for the sensor pad to log in when she realized she was still holding Alex’s shirt. Hadn’t even thought to put it down, just absently rolled it up in her hands while Merana had talked. Carbon crammed it into one of the big tool pockets in her work pants, secure in the knowledge that would be the exact thing Alex would do. Several embedded holographic displays hummed to life as she pressed her now free hand to the sensor, logging herself in at that particular site.
“Most of our data is available upon the lab’s internal network, which is classified at Stone level access. Anything at Silver security clearance or above is available from the Index workstation, and is borrowed on station-locked, time-limited codex.” She paused, glancing over at Carbon. “Forgive me - I saw that you had Obsidian clearance and have just assumed you’re familiar with these protocols.”
“As luck would have it, I am familiar.” Carbon hadn’t used them often, though it had come up a few times when performing maintenance on some of the more cutting edge systems on the Kshanev. The codex was a physical storage device, usually fairly large to make them difficult to steal. Station-locked just meant the codex could only be decrypted at a pre-specified workstation, and time-limited was simply a countdown to when the codex would automatically delete its contents.
She didn’t even notice she had slipped a Human idiom into the conversation.
“Ah, of course.” Teleya gave her a stilted little bow, very subtly standing up a bit straighter as Merana returned bearing the codex.
He held it out to Carbon in both hands. Each codex was a specialized computer, and one of the long-standing traditions around their use was that those computers would be contained in something that made it hard to physically access or to steal. Initially they had just made rectangular cases that were too large to conceal, but as matter printing had become more prevalent, so had customized cases. The Military Academy had units shaped like the spear and star from their sigil. The Kshanev used a model of its Macron gun, which had been particularly ironic when trying to troubleshoot that very same system.
This one appeared to be a dark stone obelisk, about the length of her forearm, and heavy like it was actual stone. The edges and letters carved into it were crisp, as though it had just been hewn. She recognized it right off the bat, of course, it was a miniature version of the obelisk that had stood at the river port in old Ama’o - the first city. She ran her thumb down one of the inscriptions, the letters on this side filled with gold. May the winds favor your sails, traveler.
All of that was gone, now.
Carbon set it down on the desk and took a seat. The clean white desktop bowed and shifted, the obelisk sinking partway into it. She fiddled with the left screen, relegating the index of the files within to a narrow strip out of the way. Not that there was very much in there, literally seven files. “All right. Get me up to speed, what should I be looking at first?”
“All but the last of these are items we had not been able to identify until the scans from the Prince came in. They obviously went together, but we were unsure of the use case. They were all found on a single salvage ship. The first four files pertain to the PIN fragments we found on board. Scans kept throwing traces of metamaterials until one of the sweepers located those fragments stuck in the gap between a wall panel and the floor in the head.” Teleya had taken over as the verbose one, pointing out several files on the screen as she spoke.
Carbon opened the first file, the very first picture was piece of metal no longer than a fingertip, caked in dried blood and hair. Notation on the edge of the image informed her that it had been taken on the Serenity, about three years ago. “This is not the same Serenity Merana was talking about, is it? And is that... Human?”
“No. Serenity is their most common ship name. Something like ten percent of privately owned Human craft are named that. Understandable, in a way. There is so much space where there is nothing.” She was lost in thought before she cleared her throat and continued. “That is Human, yes. All the samples found onboard were from the same person. If I recall, there were only genetic traces from one Human on board, and only one appeared on the internal logs. We were concerned that it was evidence of a crime until it became clear from those logs that the previous owner seemed to have some neurological problems and was doing quite a bit of surgical work on himself.”
“That sounds horrible.” The PIN had been thoroughly documented as it was cleaned and run through multiple scanners, the entire thing mapped down to the atom, which was good because the rotating keyways seemed to depend on microns-thick wafers of high lubricity insulator to facilitate movement while isolating electrical impulses. Likely printed in place, given how delicate the entire thing was despite the use of exotic materials. A simple design, made with the most advanced tools and material.
She did not dare dwell on the fact that some lone Human sailor at the edge of their space had equipment to access the same sort of implant Alex had, and certainly not the more immediate worry that the implant could have had a role in pushing him to such extremes as performing surgery upon himself.
“Yes, it gets... We need not discuss the finer details of it.” She shivered and exhaled softly. “The next three are more pieces of other, similar PINs. The first and fourth appear to have been broken, while the second and third are clearly cut. The fifth file is a piece of the adapter between the PIN and driver unit, and the sixth is what we believe to be a portion of the driver unit. The final file is the scan of the Prince’s hardware.”
Carbon skipped directly to the driver unit. The needle seemed straightforward at the moment. They had large portions of it. The driver, on the other hand, was still a few loose design ideas for her. The first pictures of it really made her want to discuss the finer details of what they had found on that ship - it had been cylindrical at one point, but only a partially melted wedge remained, bearing distinct plasma cutter marks. It appeared it was the end that held the PIN, as well, which was good - that could be directly copied with no conjecture.
The chunk reminded her of an old milling machine spindle surrounded by multiple layers made of paired stators and rotors. The scans proved her supposition out, and it was a bit of a relief - most of it should be very easy to reverse engineer as well. The wiring might need a little guess work, but computer rendering should allow her to get that sussed out without having to run a print. “All right, I think we should be able to get this done quickly. Which one of you would be best working on recreating the PIN and adapter unit? I will take the driver.”
Merana piped up. “I have specialized in reconstruction for nearly a decade. Unless Teleya would prefer that task?”
“No, your work is excellent.” She deferred, gesturing towards the Index workstation to indicate he should get to it.
They watched him go, Carbon swiveling her chair around to face Teleya. “I do not think the hardware side of this will be particularly difficult. That said, do we have any of the software that was used with this?”
“Ah. Yes, but no.” Her ears lowered, an annoyed hiss escaping her teeth. “There was data related to the operation of the machine, and possibly the programs used to run it still installed on the Serenity. As it was a very new ship at the time the entire thing and all files on board were seized by Imperial Intelligence.”
“I know a few people who work in the Intelligence community.” Carbon did not specify how she knew them, because historically people did not want to know details about anything to do with Intel.
“As do I. Sadly, the most I have been able to get from them is that all the data onboard was shipped out to Electronic Warfare. I do not know anyone within that division, and having a mere Gold clearance does not sway much over there.” It sounded like she was inclined to continue not knowing anyone within Electronic Warfare, a hint of venom in her tone as she talked about them. “I put in the appeal two days ago, it has still not even been reviewed.”
“I suspect they will be more accommodating to my requests. If that fails, they will kneel at the throne when the Empress calls.” Carbon didn’t really have the ability to toss the Empress’ authority around like that, but Alex had been convincing with his fears about potentially compromising the security of the ship. The Empress would take that seriously, and having one part of the military building fortifications around their domains would just delay confirmation one way or the other.
“I suspect that will expedite things.” She bowed again, deeper this time. While Teleya did not specifically ask for this data as a favor, she clearly considered Carbon using her influence to get it as fulfillment of one.
“If you will excuse me... I will make some calls. Are the conference rooms available?” She was sure they would be. It was just the three of them in the workshop at the moment, but Carbon would prefer a little bit of privacy given what was lingering at the forefront of her mind right now.
“They are yours as long as you desire.”
Carbon stood and offered Teleya the seat. “If you could get started on extrapolating the build on this, I would appreciate the help.”
“Of course, Princess.” She bowed, again.
Carbon took her leave, walking back to the closer conference room. She stole a glance at Merana’s workspace, already deep into pulling the fragments together into a whole. Excellent work ethic on him.
She closed the door behind her and turned the windows into the work area opaque before walking down to the end of the conference table with the holo emitter. Carbon slumped into a chair and sighed, leaning in to rest her elbows on the table and cradle her head in her hands. She allowed herself to feel miserable for a moment.
Was any of this worth it? What even was it, at this point? She enjoyed Alex’s company, certainly, and would absolutely call the feelings she had for him ‘love’ without hesitation. But the idea of being entwined hadn’t truly crossed her mind since she’d put aside that unreasonable fantasy back on the Kshlav’o. Now that was just an offering to get her to let The Empress back in. She hadn’t settled on if that had tainted the entire concept or not.
Even if it had, Alex’s earnest intent might be enough to purify that for her.
Worse was that Alex, her beloved, was forced into this untenable position. What if he was being used as a conduit for some sort of spy program by his own government? She wasn’t familiar with the fine print, but it would violate their treaties. It was a violation of the Confederation’s own citizen, as well. All while being the Empress’ leverage to make their people more accepting of the help. To prove they were trustworthy. Not the sort that would do things like... this.
Her mind raced, working over a thousand threads of what she would do to be free of these constraints. To have a life that was just hers, and perhaps just his. Every one of them felt like an unreasonable fantasy now.
Carbon sighed again and shut it all off. Crammed it back in the hole. The turn of phrase from Alex brought a brief, sad smile to her face. It had initially felt improper, not serious enough for the workings of the mind. It had grown on her, more and more it felt entirely accurate.
She smoothed her fur out a bit and pulled the sleeves of her jacket down to appear a little more professional. Carbon stood and patted Alex’s shirt for moral support before slotting her communicator into the holo display, and set it up for an encrypted call before dialing Admiral Olan. His direct number.
It took a few minutes for each end of the call to negotiate and set up encryption that reached the minimum for Obsidian clearance. While it was the second highest level of security, the real reason she turned it all the way up was that those calls had a tendency to get answered in short order. She waited. The connection was live, but his end was locked down until he was in an appropriately secure area.
“Princess Sorenson.” Olan’s head appeared on the holo, looking both wizened and perpetually aggrieved. He was actually pleasant, his face was just like that while relaxed.
“Admiral. I am here with the Xenotechnology team, and I have a request for data from the Electronic Warfare division of Imperial Intelligence that needs to be expedited.” He had the authority over several divisions, Electronic Warfare included. “Team Leader Teleya put in a request two days ago. It concerns files from a Human ship they acquired about three years ago, the Serenity, which was taken by Intel. We need that immediately, as it now pertains to an investigation into potential security breaches on The Sword of the Morning Light.”
There was absolutely no reaction to this information save for a single, brief nod. “Consider it done, an Index will be brought over as soon as it is filled. Is there anything else?”
“Yes. This is a personal request, and why I have chosen Obsidian.” She inhaled, lifting her chin a little like the Empress did when she wanted to appear a bit more impressive. Difficult to do through a hologram, but she wanted it imparted that this in particular was to be kept at Obsidian levels. “I require a copy of the interior security logs for the same ship. This is related to the investigation, but more sensitive. Gene-locked, with a time limit of ten hours of review should be enough.”
That got his attention, antennae shifting up slightly. While that was subtle, it was there, and that was notable for Olan. “Of course. Do you need them delivered at the same time?”
Did she? “No, but I would appreciate it being done within the day. Have it delivered to my quarters, my Zeshen can take possession of it there. That is all, Admiral.” Carbon would take one potentially horrifying discovery at time right now.
“Your will be done, Princess.” He closed his eyes and bowed, and ended the call.
The fears she had crammed into the hole scrabbled against the door that she imagined held them in place. If the machines - those abominations that Alex had allowed his government to saddle him with - were going to destroy him, she had to know. She had to be ahead of it, whatever psychosis had been inflicted upon that lone sailor would not befall him.
She would see to it.
 
First Prev
Royal Road
*****
Carbon learns some stuff this time! Oh boy. Oh dear.
Unreasonably happy that I was able to find a name that continues the practice of naming classes of cargo ships something-max as well as Panama did.
Art pile: Carbon reference sheet. Art by Tyo_Dem

I am reaching out to this community to understand how you got autoimmune diseases diagnosed. I am at a loss here. I have never taken better care of myself than I am now - yet I keep getting dismissed by doctors despite begging for an mri or more extensive blood tests.... anything to explain the symptoms I'm now able to feel now that I'm present in my body again.
The role I have played out in the world is fawn and freeze due to severe emotional neglect, abuse & unpredictability at home. My mom and my brothers would constantly do things to me that would make any sane person feel unsafe or scared... then would make fun of me for having an emotional reaction. By that I mean a 5 year old girl would be crying and scared because my mom was never home and would often not come home because she was out getting drunk leaving me at home with my brothers who scared the shit out of me. I would go to my room and cry for hours trying to dial my mom to come home (sometimes until 3am) - my brothers would laugh at me & tell me how much of a pussy I was and "who the fyck cares." I know I often wasn't bathed or fed but that I played the perfect little kid at school. If I called my dad to come get me on the off chance he was available to come get me.... my mom would then ignore me and any of my needs for days. My childhood was filled with lies and denial.
I am incredibly sensitive to smells to the point I get a headache if even a faint whiff of certain chemicals, I have had severe brain fog on and off ever since I can remember, I have severe pmdd to the point I no longer want to exist, my body is so tense and yet I'm constantly fatigued. I don't remember a time when I've gotten massages in the past when I haven't essentially been told "Jesus Christ your shoulders and neck are so tense it's like you play professional sports or something." I do not play professional sports unless you consider being "on edge" an extreme sport. Gastrointestinal issues that don't show up on blood tests. Nothing on blood tests. Always a response of "ur probably just stressed or it's your depression."
Looking back, I've begged doctors time and again to run tests. I had swollen lymph nodes in my throat for a full year around Covid and when I finally did have the nerve to get them checked out... "your tests came back and looks like you're just fine." I've had a gastro doctor test blood like 8 years back... "you're fine your bloodwork came back all good." When at the gyno and in tears begging for tests without being able to verbalize my issues or advocate for myself "your blood tests came back fine just keep taking your mental health meds." When I finally went to a neuropathologist... "what do you expect to get from an mri or rheumatologist? Immunosuppressants?" Like oh my fucking god. I've been telling yall something is off in my body and never once has someone had the wherewithal to believe me.
think because I was so detached from my body for most all of my life, I've learned to play the role of "I'm fine..." by appearing fine/"normal." I think I got so good at that that people don't understand when I do explain how much pain I am mentally and physically. I "appear" put together, successful, "well liked," and competent.... but inside I'm a scared little kid who carries the weight of her world.
How did yall go about advocating and putting words to your experience that resulted in getting help for possible autoimmune issues?

Anybody else just have mainly pain as a symptom? Yeah I get the odd shortness of breath, brain fog and dizziness/loss of balance but these have definitely improved slightly. (Some other visible symptoms like an enlarged lymph node beneath my ear and the occasional splinter hemorrhage.) but my main ones at the moment is an ache in my right shoulder which is very consistent and a headache which is kind of positional.
I can’t seem to shake either of them and with how brutally stubborn they both are it always makes me think it’s something much worse.

I felt that commenting might bury this, so i decided to post instead. I hope a lot can find this useful. My advice when doing groceries in bulk is:
Learn how to process groceries for storage.
Im on my phone rn, but there are loads of guides on how to do these things, it’s how we came up with our system at home. Anyways here’s what we do at home:
For vegetables, we blanch, dry, then we spread them out single layer in a freezer drawer lined with baking sheet that we keep vacant for this purpose so they don’t freeze in clumps. when they’re frozen, we portion them into a zip bags and back in the fridge.
Fruits can also be frozen. We dont rinse berries before freezing, if you opt to rinse, make sure they’re dry before. We cut up bigger fruits like apples and peaches, etc, freeze them in our tray then zip bagged. We freeze avocados directly in the freezer. Optional: spray/sprinkle lemon juice on the fruits to preserve color.
For mushrooms, we cook it in a pan to remove moisture to prevent freezer burn, then we do the same procedure in the freezer trays.
We buy the large packaged slabs of meat, pork, chicken, etc. then we cut it up portioned in zip bags then into the freezer.
We also do canning for other things. Diy cat food (which we also buy the ingredients from costco), broth, soups, sauces, etc (we even can our own corned beef). These do not need refrigeration and can be stored in a panty.
There’s just two of us at home, and about 1-2 days of work to process them but we save a lot of money, nothing goes to waste and our stock can last 1-2 months. Essentially we do 80% of our groceries at Costco, we buy from other places if costco doesn’t sell them. If we had a chest freezer, we could probably go as long as 3-6 months without doing groceries.

Hi firstly I’d like to thank the people on this forum for encouraging me to find the courage to attend a church months ago, as it’s helped my spiritual growth. (Sorry if this post gets too deep and hops from subject to subject).
I am seeing a Priest most weeks to learn about theology and around my shift work as a Police Officer I’ve started attending mass not that I understand everything but I can walk in mass tired and I come out with energy like I’ve never felt before. I’ve started getting back into my fitness and I’m actively planning how to live a better life.
I’m planning on proposing too and marrying my girlfriend compared to my past of casual sex with multiple partners I think focusing on one woman is an improvement even tho I’m clearly sinning I want to work towards not sinning where living like married people so I want to bring the relationship into what god approves off.
I feel like I’m more relaxed about the stress of my job. The other day I was sent to a violent incident where a male had serious injuries in a place that is anti-Police whilst in route I was scared as I was the only available Police Officer which I was not happy about and I was angry towards my employer, whilst I felt like driving slower waiting for back up I prioritised the person and drove as fast as I could safely drive, I started reciting the Lord’s Prayer repeatedly as I felt like wanted to deal with the situation rationally.
I turned up at the location and the offender was then when I tried to arrest him the angry crowd turned on me as I was alone (despite his violent crime). I drew my Taser to keep the crowd that was encouraging people to be violent to towards me to stay away and honestly I was terrified and feeling overwhelmed by the crowd and for some reason I started thinking of Jesus on the Cross and I felt significantly calmer thinking of Jesus could do that putting myself at risk of serious injury for someone else is the least I could do. I feel like this gave me the strength not to walk away which is what I wanted to do. Thankfully the standoff lasted 10minutes until I could get assistance. After my shift whilst I felt angry and upset due to the situation I was put in I thanked god as I stayed safe.
Today I’ve been listening to the book of Joshua and like Leviticus on the bible in a year podcast I’m finding it dry and boring, is this due to a lack of understanding or are my personal feelings disrespectful I find myself looking forward to Father Mike Schmitz explanations at the end of the episodes to explain things to me in an easier to listen way.
I find I’m constantly praying talking about my life and in times of hardship I’m starting to feel what I’d describe as a presence motivating me and dragging me through it when I speak about my problem through prayer.
I find to myself I believe in god but don’t know everything. At what point am I considered Catholic I was christened Protestant but never practised due to my secular family growing up and I’ve even critique Catholicism in the past.
I know this message is all over the place (I am dyslexic so this could be why). But can I call myself Catholic yet?

Idk what the point of this post is, maybe advice or reassurance or something?
I've quit soo many times the past 3 months, I've made a quit attempt at least 1x every week, each attempt lasts 1-2 days though until I cave :(
It's like when I quit I actually enjoy not smoking, (re my older posts when I quit, life was more enjoyable), my skin clears up within a day of quitting even and I'm glowing more
but then something happens like a disagreement, or I go down that thought pattern and it feels too late when I've got the idea of smoking in my head.
I'll get thoughts such as "it's not the right time" "I'm gonna relapse anyway so what's the point" "at least I'm not irritable when I'm smoking" "I can just set a quit date and actually stick to it instead of just quitting randomly all the time" "I can always quit another time" "I need to remind myself of why I don't like smoking, by smoking" (cus I romanticise smoking when I quit but when I'm smoking i hate it, the smell, the damage to my skin and the lack of feeling free
and I've kinda stopped taking myself seriously
I've made so many quit attempts that when I make another attempt, I question whether it will stick anyways, it sounds silly because it would stick if I didn't smoke but I just don't believe in myself and it doesn't feel serious anymore when I do try and quit.
But when I'm smoking I romanticise being a non smoker and smelling nice and having clear skin, and all the benefits of not smoking like running and being free!
I'm writing this as I made a quit attempt last night again; on my "last cigarette" I inhaled some through tissue to show myself the dark spots are what every single puff does.
I washed my hair cus it smelt awful of stale smoke, changed my bedding and everything. I had a nice night not smoking last night..
Yet I'm smoking another cigarette now and just feeling hopeless about quitting! I started smoking again cus I was in those thought patterns about it not being the right time and also just wasn't taking it seriously cus of how many quit attempts I made.
I feel like now I've smoked one, there's no point in trying to quit again till I wash my hair, cus I've already made my hair smell again (which takes a while to wash and dry cus it's super long)
Not only have I stopped taking myself seriously but my family have too, when I tell them I quit they tell me not to tell them til I've made it 2 months and kinda laugh about me trying to quit again.
Has anyone else been in this predicament of quitting a lot, like every week, and as a result no longer taking yourself seriously? How did you finally quit for good if so and actually take yourself seriously? How did you finally make it stick?
I'm feeling at a loss here cus I've tried so many times.. I just want to be free from this

Over time, the HIV virus keeps making copies of itself, but at lower levels. This is called the chronic stage of infection. You might not have any symptoms during this time. If you take HIV medicines called antiretroviral therapy exactly as prescribed, you might stay in this stage for life.
Swollen lymph nodes, which are often one of the first signs of HIV infection.
Diarrhea.
Weight loss.
Fever.
Cough and shortness of breath
Diarrhea: Diarrhea is never fun, and while it's usually a sign that something is wrong, your first assumption might not be that you've picked up an STD. Chronic diarrhea can be caused by HIV, while chlamydia, gonorrhea, and herpes can also cause diarrhea and painful bowel movements.
Suffering from Diarrhea is mostly associated with having eaten something that the body could not digest. However, Diarrhea, along with Painful Bowel Movements, can also be caused by Sexually transmitted Diseases like Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, and Herpes.

Hey guys, I just got the Dreame X40 Ultra complete and have been playing around a little bit to understand how it works.
There is something that I don't really get, is the "cycle" option. To my understanding it means that we can ask the robot to mop 2 or 3 times the same area right ?
Also, I tried the custom mode with x2 cycle and realise that the robot is not coming back to its base to clean its mops and load them with fresh water and detergent after cycle 1 is done... So it ends up just doing cycle 2 with dry mops. I didn't find any config in the app that asks the robot to go back to the base to do that so I'm not exactly sure why 2 or 3 cycles are a good idea..
Anyone knows if that's intended or if I'm missing some config in the app ?

If you missed my grand entrance into the silver city, I recommend reading my last post.
If nothing here makes sense to you, start from the very beginning.
I apologize for the long period without news. I received an unexpected visit, and because of it, I was bedridden for quite some time. I'm grateful that my boss saw everything happen—I mean, saw what he thought was happening—and assured me that I would receive financial assistance while I recover.
Did you know that if you don't have most of your documents, the hospital bombards you with questions? It's pretty obvious, isn't it? It's a shame I didn't think of that while I was being taken there; I could have jumped out of the car and avoided the headache.
Jokes aside, the last few weeks have brought me answers. Maybe I have a chance to correct some mistakes. Maybe all of this wasn't just a desperate final act to gain favor with the Lord. This place has been much more useful than I anticipated.
Today's post is important because I finally have the chance to talk about the most precious information one can have when condemned to the abyss: how to escape it.
But before I start walking through my memories, I need to tell you guys how I ended up in this miserable state.
In short, I got into a fistfight with an angel.
And If you think I got all busted up, you should see the other guy!
As I mentioned in my last post, beings from the depths of Tartarus have been haunting me since my escape. Jailers of rotting flesh, insectoids with multiple faces that recount countless insults to my person.
With focus and meditation, I can ignore them during the day, endure them at night, and pray not to encounter them in my dreams. Although this last one always seems to happen, I usually manage to carry on with my life relatively well.
I just didn't knew that hell wasn't the only realm keeping an eye on me. With that in mind now, I should have noticed that something was wrong.
I have been having strange encounters.
A taxi driver who, instead of taking me to my apartment, guided me without me noticing to the nearest Catholic church and vanished with the car as quickly as he arrived.
A lady in the park who watched over me throughout the period I spent enjoying my late afternoon near the lake. I don't remember the color of her eyes, but something tells me she had more than one pair.
And the most recent one, a beggar who threw me against the wall as I exited through the back of the burger joint with my boss.
I couldn't see him arrive because he wasn't there initially; it's as if he had materialized from thin air in a matter of seconds.
I remember opening the door and heading towards the gutter, then an unbearable heat enveloped my body for a brief moment, and I was thrown against the wall.
At first, I also thought it was just a random bum trying to rob me, but the spectral glow in his eyes, the way reality slightly warped around his body, and his voice that echoed in my mind like the roar of a beast told me otherwise.
I... panicked.
You see, I am doing everything I can to avoid setting foot in Gehenna again. Until that attack, I clung to the comforting fact that I am out of that prison, that they can't hurt me anymore.
So when one of the soldiers from the celestial ranks pushed me against the wall, wrapping his heavy hands around my neck, a primordial fear crumbled my will. I could barely struggle as he roared in my mind.
"To dust thou returned, and cannot stay here. Thy soul, stained by the ashes of hell, is marked by the blood of the star. In thee, he sees a way out; in thee, the holy sees a mistake."
In his eyes, I could recognize pity and hatred.
He saw me as something so small and fragile, something to be protected from the claws of sin. One of the Creator's toys that had been so rudely broken and was now fighting against the rules that guide existence.
In his own words, a mistake. One that needed to be fixed.
Even with such a fragile appearance, his strength was tremendous. He squeezed my throat while whispering apologies in my mind. I could see demons approaching in the darkness, ready to grasp my soul in my final moments.
My heart racing, my mind almost devoid of oxygen, I could no longer think straight—I was going to die.
I stretched my arms against the wall, anything would do, any way to defend myself.
My hand closed around something cold and heavy, and with all my strength, I pulled.
Adrenaline is a powerful drug. I managed to wrench one of the rusty bars from the window and hit him with all I had.
The blow sent him into the street, where a van ran him over shortly after.
My boss insists that I had a panic attack and that in my altered state, I ended up throwing a loose iron rod at a school van, scaring some poor kid shitless, before fainting on the ground.
This brings me many questions.
Now more than ever, I feel paranoid, watched.
And knowing that people wouldn't even know if I were being attacked terrifies me.
I feel like my time is running out, something horrible is about to happen. So without further ado, I must fulfill my purpose and at least help you while we still walk in the same plane.
Hell is a place of torture and punishment, the reward our sins earn us in the afterlife, but it is also a prison.
It's not just for the sinners who wander the circles in search of a light that has long rejected them, but also for the original evil—the serpent that hisses hatred long before humanity even dreamed of existing.
The being forged when the Creator and the original angels still roamed the cosmos, shaping and expanding it.
He who was once God´s favorite, but has since fell with a third of the stars.
The one who commands faithful followers both on Earth and in the depths.
The concept of time in hell is complicated; some circles distort your perception, and two hours can suddenly become two minutes.
Combine this with the lack of natural light and claustrophobic confinements, and you will see that most of the slaves in the Silver City go through years like zombies, one day indistinguishable from the next, unaware if they have been there for a day or a decade.
In my fourth year as Jack's torture toy, this condition was affecting me aggressively.
Over the years, Jack had opened my schedule, allowing me to work under the orders of some of his followers in other regions of his kingdom, still confined behind the walls and never seeing the light of day.
My schedule was cruel and irregular, so much so that even today I must admit that I am not confident in stating that only four years have passed. In the morning, Astaroth would play with my mind; I lived a thousand lives with a thousand deaths, the profane void and the painful light of the vastness, my mind reduced to ashes and then expanded beyond the confines of my skull.
Immediately after, I was blindfolded and taken to the Pleasure zone, where I was forced to synthesize drugs and beverages from the blood of beasts and fungi.
In the floor directly below one of the main sales points of the Scarlet Maiden, the most purchased drug in the city, I worked for hours grinding and heating, accumulating terrible blisters and burns while my mind was numbed by the aroma and visions.
In a hot and cramped room, I was joined by five other slaves, and there we spent most of the day.
Deaths from overdose were common, some fell from excessive work, others were killed for pure pleasure. Our guards were always incredibly high and enjoyed mistreating us to maintain their sense of power.
Pawns so low in the hierarchy of the infernal king, probably venting years of spite in our daily sessions.
From time to time, the owner of the operation would come down to check the quality of the product, which was never refined enough, and would punish us for it.
By order of the king, he wouldn't lay a hand on me, but he made me watch and often forced me to participate in the torture of my colleagues. Fingers cut off, teeth pulled out, hot iron spikes on the backs of those who spilled even a gram of his precious product.
The things I was forced to do still keep me awake.
And always accompanying him, I saw her.
Unfortunately for Mice, the girl brought with me did not meet her end in his perverted arms, but in the hands of one of Jack's captains. Always with a distant look, drugged beyond her limit, following her master like an obedient dog.
Occasionally, she would watch me with a hint of sanity in her eyes.
While her master punished us. she often tried to approach me, but always without success.
When the work was done, I was put to sleep with gas and woke up again imprisoned in the palace catacombs, ready to endure another session of agony before sleep.
Day after day, this insanity continued, my long-diminished hope was exhausted, I became a shadow, a shell of my former self, ready to follow the next order, begging for mercy that was never granted.
This cycle continued until one particular night, when I woke up again below the castle, chained to the wall, with a decrepit old man beside me.
For some reason, Astaroth had let me rest that night; I should have suspescted something was wrong.
In the darkness, his face was hard to discern. I remember terrible dark circles, short and damaged gray hair. His eyes were sunken, pulling you in like ocean waves, his lips cut, and what seemed to be terrible gashes on his neck.
"So... it's true?" the old man murmured, breaking the silence.
"What are you talking about?"
"I've heard that madman's ravings many times, but this sounds different; there's some ground that supports the theory this time."
"I don't have time for the ramblings of a senile old man."
"Do you really have the Mark of the Beast?"
I stared into his eyes, recalling the same claim coming from my captor's mouth.
That fucking mark, up until then, I thought it was just an excuse that bastard Mice used to save his own neck, one that had cost me four years of confinement.
But there was a fearful weight in the old man's voice; his words carried a sense of truth.
"What is this damn mark? Ever since I set foot in this cursed city, I've been treated like merchandise, my mind scourged night after night because of this shit! You're all mistaken, you're wasting your time! Leave me alone!"
"Haven't you noticed anything strange, young man? We're just a bunch of damned souls in hell, but don't you feel that your stay has been particularly difficult? As if the very ground fights to keep you here?"
"I..."
"I've listened to the ramblings of the collector who found you; you were captured by an angel, weren't you? That doesn't usually happen. Something attracted it, just like the Succubus, just like the beasts."
"I'm just a wretched soul; there's nothing more to it. I'm only getting what I deserve! I should have been patient, Holly didn't deserve that, but she was going to tell everything! She was going to show the photos, and I was going to lose my job, my damn family, my house! I saw no other way! And now I'm paying for it, nothing more, nothing less..."
"Do you really think that's all there is to it? So many here with souls far more rotten than yours, yet still surrounded by pleasure and power. If hell worked as you think, why would Jack have what he has? Why would sinners be able to raise such a heresy as this metropolis?"
"I don't know, damn it! I just want all of this to end! I just want to go home!"
In the moments that followed, the old man pondered something in his mind, looking avidly into the darkness, fearing we were being watched, and then he said calmly, "I know a way out."
Despair is dangerous; the lack of a path, of a light, brings out the worst in humanity. Surrounded by eternal darkness, I was presented with a way out of torment, and it was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
"Don't say anything, just listen to me. If what I've heard about you is true, there is a chance. But I'll only tell you everything if you promise to take me with you. I'll withhold details as we travel to make sure you don't betray me. You'll do everything I say, how I say it, when I say it, or the deal is off."
"Wait, travel? To where?"
"The ninth circle of hell, of course, where the one who marked you is eagerly waiting. There, he holds a passage to a higher plane, where perhaps one can obtain a new body. "
A shock ran through my heart, a new body.
A way out of here.
"Even if all of this is true, how do you suppose we escape from here? It's not like Jack will suddenly repent of his sins and set us free overnight."
"That part I'll leave to you. Think of it as a test of your abilities. If you can get us out of here, it will serve as proof that you can handle the journey to the depths of the abyss. If we get caught, I'll know I was wrong about you."
We didn't talk for the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep either; how could I? My mind was restless with the possibility of salvation, an escape route from all the pain, a new chance at life. I just needed to get us out of there, but how? Trapped in the catacombs, without even the grace of seeing the city, I had no idea what things were like on the surface. I couldn't formulate a plan.
At least, not alone.
Patiently, I waited, the days passing by, torturous and merciless. But in that moment, I had gained a frightening resilience, with something to cling to, hope had flourished again, I thought not even the corrupted shadows of the city could shake me anymore.
Damn, was I wrong.
Finally, the day I had been waiting for arrived. You see, with so many slaves falling from excessive work and cruelty, an exchange would happen from time to time, and some familiar faces would appear when I was lucky.
On that day, when the blindfold was removed, I had to hold back from showing my happiness.
In the laboratory with me was John, tied to a wooden table in the corner grinding fungi with a leather mask, and in the middle, cracking open beasts' skulls with a giant hammer, was the gigantic man who had been captured with me.
A long day followed, the smell of sweat, blood, and drugs intensifying with each passing hour.
My eyes were keenly watching the movement of the guards, restless and anxious. It was almost a daily ritual, the moment they secretly entered the stockroom to 'evaluate the quality of the product.'
Precious few minutes when we were left alone.
As always, the guards grew tired of the trembling and tapping feet and retreated to the stockroom, threatening us with the loss of our eyes if we told anyone. As soon as the door closed, I got up and went directly to John.
As naturally as I could, I put on the leather mask and pretended to help him with the fungi while whispering by his side:
"I don't have time to explain, but I might be able to get us out of here, and I need your help to do it."
His calloused hands stopped working, dropping the equipment on the table.
"What?! Nate, is this true?"
"Don't turn to me, keep working."
Slowly, he returned to mashing the fungi and sorting them into small bags. He was trembling, making mistakes; hope in hell can easily shake anyone.
"What do you need?"
"Information, you work outside too, don't you?"
"Selling everything to the addicts who come from the lower city, but I don't know if I trust my life to anything that comes out of their mouths."
"That's something already. I need to know everything, even if it doesn't seem important. Please tell me, maybe we can-" — A heavy hand landed on my shoulder.
That behemoth of a person was standing right behind me.
He had heard everything.
Even with the constant cacophony of the equipment, the incessant blabbering from the upper store, and the lower tone of our voices, he had listened. He knew we were trying to escape.
"I want in."
"What?"
"A cripple and a pile of sticks? There's no way in hell you two are escaping this city without my help. If you want to do this, I'm coming along. If not, the guards will have a nice little surprise when they come back."
I could hear footsteps approaching. His expression made his intentions clear. I had no other choice at the moment but to include him in the team.
"Damn it, fine! Information, as much as you can get. When we meet here in the lab, we'll share everything we've discovered. Once we have a plan, we start taking action."
The door opened, and the soldiers entered, still with their masks down and their noses full of powder, seeing each of us quietly in our respective places.
In the following weeks, with the extra help, I was able to learn a lot about the flow of drugs and weapons in the city.
The Greek god of a man is named Yudi, and when he's not in the lab, he spends his days carrying metal plates to the lower city until his feet bleed.
With him, we discovered that about twice a month, the Collectors go out in droves through the gates toward Lust in search of fresh meat, taking with them an absurd amount of metal to supply the numerous outposts scattered throughout the circle.
John had discovered that a significant portion of the merchants in the Pleasure Zone use this expedition to transport a large part of their stock to the higher circles right under Jack's nose. On the night before the group's departure, the masters' most valued slaves are chosen to carry box after box to a certain warehouse in the lower city. There, the Collectors take their share of the deal and hide the goods in their cars before the day begins.
The collectors' parts are properly marked, and the rest is supposedly not opened.
In the darkness of the dungeon, my mind began to formulate a plan. If we could find a way to stay in the lab until the end of the shift, we might be able to infiltrate the merchandise and escape the Silver City through the front gate.
There were still many problems: the merchandise was moved at night, precisely when we were taken to our respective 'dormitories'. Our absence would surely be noticed. And how on earth were we supposed to even know which box would be moved to the warehouse and which would be sold the next day?
If we were to do that, we needed more information, but we also needed to be quick.
Up until that point since the old man's arrival, Astaroth and Jack had left me alone. If they decided to do another torture session, the Archduke of Hell would claim domain over my mind again and know exactly what I was planning to do.
I shivered, thinking about what horrors would await me after that.
Each night before bed, I updated the old man on the progress of my plan, asking for details on exactly how we would escape from that cursed plane when we reached the ninth circle. But that bastard never said anything, just looked at me waiting for my next move.
Afraid of losing the precious window that had opened for me, I foolishly decided that it would be better if we acted quickly and forced fate to smile upon us for a change.
When I woke up in the laboratory the next day, I took advantage of the guards busy fucking with their own minds to tell my colleagues the plan.
It was insane, but what in that pit of despair was coherent?
On rare occasions, the old man graced us with his presence in the laboratory; because of the agreement, he had to come along. I gave the excuse that he knew of a safe place where we could rest if we managed to escape. It wasn't convincing, but what other choice did they have but to accept?
When the four of us were working together, we would act. Thanks to John, I found out that we didn't always work the day shift in the laboratory; every other day, we spent entire nights in that damn cramped place.
If we caused a distraction, we could use the panic to invade the stockroom and hide among the merchandise that would be mislaid. The slaves would take us to the Warehouse, and from there, we would rely on luck for them to be too busy searching for us in the Upper City to find us.
We would have to leave before Jack was notified of our escape; with Astaroth by his side, there was no place in the city where we could hide.
Luckily, nobody wants to be the one to bring bad news to the psycho.
With the plan set, we began to act.
Having no idea the self-appointed King of Hell was already well aware of our actions.
The day I escaped from the Silver City was also the day I officially gave up my humanity while in hell.
Hatred, anger, they consume the heart of everyone, from the purest to the most honorable, not that I am anywhere close to being either of those things.
Even to this day, I still feel dirty, undeserving to be here now, and I know it all too well, but still, I do not regret the things I did to survive.
The plan had started well, with all of us together in the laboratory feeling anxious with every passing second, my stomach churning, my hands trembling. I didn't know how to act normally anymore, didn't want to raise suspicions, so I hyperfocused on my work, waiting for the end of the shift.
Cutting muscles from beasts, roasting ground fungus powder with a meat-like texture, slowly being numbed by the sweet aroma that always hung in the laboratory.
The sound of footsteps upstairs had considerably reduced, one of the signs that the shop was about to close, I looked at Yudi and nodded.
You know, the strange fungus that grows on the walls of the city has some interesting characteristics, they call it Dead Man's Fiber, to the touch it's like touching wrinkled skin, when ground and heated, a strange reaction causes it to become slimy and acidic, sticking to human muscle it devours it, generating a byproduct in the form of orange powder. The unrefined form of Scarlet Maiden.
In this state, the drug is highly unstable, and upon contact with water, it rapidly increases its temperature, which can give you horrible burns.
Or, if there's a sufficient amount, an explosion.
Throughout the day, little by little, we gathered five small bags filled with the byproduct, hiding them beneath the many empty bags scattered in the corner.
When I nodded, Yudi slowly rose and headed to the pile; the soldiers had once again left to get high, so he quickly planted the powder bags around the boiler, attracting curious glances from the poor souls accompanying us on that shift.
I hoisted John onto my back, the old man following closely behind, and we positioned ourselves at the edge of the stairs.
As soon as Yudi saw that we were ready, he lifted the water jug we received at the beginning of each day and threw it toward the boiler.
Then, chaos.
An explosion caused the floor directly above the boiler to collapse, powder and chemical gases making it nearly impossible to see more than a foot ahead, screams and cries of pain ensued.
One of the slaves who accompanied us was caught in the blast; an iron pipe from the boiler had pierced his neck, pinning him to the wall, the last customers of the shop above were caught in the flames that rose like a mushroom through the hole that opened in the floor.
Soldiers hurried down the stairs to control the fire, not seeing us pressed against the wall, we quietly went up as soon as everyone descended to control the damage.
John guided us to the stockroom; we had little time until the merchandise was moved to be saved from the flames.
I could already hear murmurs from outside; the distraction had worked, we had drawn attention.
Perhaps, too much of it.
In the darkness of the stockroom, it was hard to see anything; dozens of boxes filled the space, mostly unmarked. We had no idea which ones to break into.
"What now? Do we just pick at random? You told us you had a plan!" Yudi said, pulling at my shirt.
"Now is not the time for this!" John said somewhere in the dark. "Fuck, just...I don't know, pry open one of the smaller ones! There's supposed to be a way for the collectors to know which one to pick, maybe there's something inside!"
"Look at how many boxes there are! The fire is already spreading, it won't take long till-" Yudi was interrupted by a pound at the door.
"Open this fucking door already! I want my powder safe and sound, do you hear me! Useless bitch, hurry up!"
What little time we had was about to be over. I could faintly see scared eyes looking at me for answers in the darkness. My heart was pounding, and I just wanted to get out of there.
I noticed a pile of boxes that was more isolated than the others. Without light, it was hard to tell, but with no other choice, I hurried towards them.
The door was about to give in; we would have to rely on luck.
We opened two boxes, put on the leather masks in an attempt to avoid inhaling too much of the drug, and split up, hiding within the merchandise. I stayed with John, trusting that Yudi would take care of the old man.
The door gave in with a loud thud.
"Quick, you incompetents! I want every damn gram secured! And you, slut, get two more and get this shit out of here now! If Jack shows up, he's going to ask questions, and questions ruin an honest man's business."
The screams and footsteps, the smell of the drug making me dizzy, the smoke from the fire engulfing the shop. We were hurriedly moved to the elevator, and as I felt us descending, a wave of relief filled my heart.
Through the small cracks in the wood, I could distinguish the lower city slowly growing larger, the plan was working as intended.
I remember John smiling.
Maybe it was the drug, maybe it was the euphoria of the moment, but I remember being happy to have him with me.
...I miss him.
We were led to the warehouse, where they left the boxes and abandoned us in the darkness. I could hardly believe how well the plan was going.
Looking back now, I realize I was a fool.
The collectors never checked the boxes; they just loaded them onto the cars.
Before I could connect the dots, we were passing through the silver gates. Looking through the crack, I had once again the full view of that sin-ridden skeleton, and even as I moved away from it, I felt in my heart that I had already been touched by the city, and it tends to always reclaim what belongs to it.
The truck that was carrying us headed towards the Spire until the crown of the first circle was nothing more than a small dot on the horizon.
And then, it stopped.
"Why now? We haven't reached the spire yet, why stop now?" John whispered nervously in front of me.
Before I could respond, a chilling shiver ran down my spine upon hearing Mice's voice.
"Well, I think the little show has gone on long enough, hasn't it?"
The lid of our box opened, and I could hear the pumping sound of a shotgun. Above, Mice and two companions grinned maliciously at us.
"Well, well, what do we have here? Jack's new favorite little toy and his buddy! Care to tell me what you're doing in my shit?"
"Please, Mice, you can have the drugs, just let us go!" I pleaded.
Mice laughed, laughed so hard that his fucked-up lungs gave him a coughing fit. After composing himself, he ordered us to be taken out of the box. Yudi and the old man were already kneeling in the sand with their hands on their heads.
"Oh, fucking amazing! Hold on, let me get this straight. You really thought your dumbass idea would work out so well? Holy shit, buddy, you're really stupid, haha! Listen here, I'll tell you a little secret."
Mice approached my face, pressing the shotgun barrel against my chin.
"You would never have even found your little buddies again if Jack hadn't ordered it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on! Use your fucking head! Everything so convenient, so perfect, your whole plan worked because Jack wanted it to. Your encounter with the old man, the information that reached your colleagues, the timings lining up, the guards leaving, all observed, all permitted."
My face contorted in horror; once again, I was nothing but a pawn, a toy of that maniac. Astaroth would always watch us, the king always controlling every miserable inch of his kingdom.
"Why!? Why would he let us get this far?"
"Something in your ultimate fate pleases him. If he can't extract any information from you, he'll just let you guide him to what he wants, won't he?"
"But then, why stop us now?"
Mice chuckled.
"Ding ding ding! This is the question of the moment! Congratulations, idiot, some neuron up there still works as it should! You see, I never cared about that mangy mutt. Jack is just a little baby who luckily gained a lot of power, if he's so afraid of what your mark represents like this, it means that you pose a danger to his empire, through you I'll have the chance to take the throne that has always belonged to me!"
Mice was interrupted by a sound, Yudi laughing as he watched kneeling.
With a smile, Mice approached, knelt in front of Yudi, carefully dusted the drug powder from his shoulders, and asked: "And what's so funny about that to you?"
"It's nothing, it's just that you call us idiots, but if you think you can usurp the throne with two piles of muscles and a tough attitude, you're even dumber than you seem to be."
The smell of gunpowder invaded my mind before I could process what had happened.
I remember touching my head, something was stuck in my hair, I lowered my hand and saw myself holding a loose tooth. "I heard a howl of fear, but why fear?
My ears were ringing, I couldn't think straight.
Yudi was lying back.
His skull sprawled across the sand, stained by a scarlet puddle.
"Oops, my bad, loose finger and all that."
"You motherfucker!" I lunged toward Mice, the barrel of his gun slowly turning towards me.
"No, no, no! I don't think so! If you lot wish to stay alive and not get a one-way ticket straight to Lust, where we already have some scouts ready to capture you, I must point out, you will behave!"
All that, just to become someone's toy again, I could hardly believe it.
Looking at Yudi's body, I wondered if he had felt any pain, the harder I made it for Mice, the better. Maybe if I were quick, I could escape the collectors in Lust.
But then, while I pondered, others acted.
The old man lunged at one of Mice's companions, biting his neck with all his might. The second one, startled, reached for his holster, but John quickly grabbed his legs, bringing him down to the ground.
They were willing to fight, to die for a chance.
Mice turned the gun towards them, pumping the shotgun once again. "Damn it, can't you do anything right? Stay still! I can't aim like this!"
I saw the opportunity and grabbed the shotgun.
A deadly tug-of-war ensued, punches and kicks thrown in an attempt to take control of the weapon, the power to kill. I was malnourished, still weak, tired, and slightly high. Mice was an experienced Collector, a bloodthirsty killer who had faced demons head-on. It was only a matter of time before he overpowered me.
I gave up pulling the shotgun towards me and pushed it with all the weight of my body towards Mice. We fell and rolled in the dry sand, the gun stopping a few feet ahead.
I crawled to the shotgun, Mice holding onto my feet and pulling me into another exchange of punches.
I don't know what came over me, all the anguish, all the fury and fear accumulated until that moment exploded into rage. I gave up on the gun and threw myself at Mice, landing repeated punches to his head.
Again, adrenaline is a powerful drug.
Screaming, without full control of my arms, I punched, I punched until Mice's face was nothing but a red mess, until his arms stopped retaliating, until his chest stopped breathing. I continued until tears filled my eyes and sobs choked my throat.
I looked at my hands, and the weight of what I had done became clear in my mind.
Killing a person changes you; you can feel life slipping away from their eyes. Even in that place, where death is just the beginning of another cycle of pain, it still holds its weight.
The old man's screams of pain snapped me out of my trance. His efforts were admirable, but he was eventually thrown to the ground, where the Collector attempted to strangle him. I grabbed the shotgun, and out of pure instinct, I struck the Collector's head with all my strength. He immediately fell onto the old man, the base of the gun now adorned with a red stain.
Looking to the side, John was trying to wrest the gun from the Collector, without success. In the distance, I could see dust rising; we weren't alone. The king had noticed that something was amiss.
The old man took the gun from my hands and opened a hole in the Collector's chest, who collapsed like a house of cards onto the dry ground.
The spire was visible; we needed to go. With John in my arms, I ran.
"Leave him behind! He'll do nothing but slow us down!"
I could feel John's embrace tighten. He knew he was a burden; he knew what they would do to him if we left him behind. I could feel his fear.
Ignoring the protests, I headed towards the spire.
They were getting closer; I could discern the caravan amidst the cloud of dust.
Upon reaching the spire, Aecus's judgmental gaze bore down on us coldly. Remembering Mice's words, I approached.
"Oh Aeacus! King of Aegina, my heart is not pure for rest, my eyes are blind to injustice, and my fists only weigh for my desires. From dust I came and to dust I return, my soul judged to forever burn, so I beg you to open the doors to my torment."
His cold gaze remained unmoved; the Spire would not heed my words.
"This won't work. We need to go to the lower circles. It would be incredible if we could get Rhadamanthus's attention, but at the top of Hell, it's hard for him to hear us."
"What do we do now? I've done my part; I got us out of the city. Do yours and take us to the Ninth Circle!"
The old man looked at me, his eyes burning with fury; for a moment, it seemed like there was a dark gleam in his eyes. He calmed himself and approached the entrance.
The followers of the morning star follow his teachings in exchange for secrets and powers greater than a mere sinner could ever dream of. How to survive in such a ruthless terrain, how to tame and enchant demons and spirits, how to change oneself.
The old man whispered words in a convoluted language forgotten by time. Aecus began to chant in response, and the spire trembled in anticipation, the chamber taking on a sinister glow.
Without looking back, the old man said, "A wish for a wish, a will for a gift, Blood taken in exchange for bliss"
"What the fuck are you?" I asked.
"Nathanael, you have a choice to make. Do you want to escape Hell? Do you want your life back?"
"Of course!"
"Then John must die."
A chill ran down my spine. Nothing comes easy in the abyss. Only pain, only suffering.
John begged for mercy, and in my mind, I knew what I had to do, the price Minos demanded for his services. The old man merely watched me.
John fought, struggled until the last second.
He threw himself off my back and crawled through the sand towards the caravan, which was slowly approaching.
"I'm sorry, John."
I dragged him by the stumps of his legs into the depths of the spire. He tried to cling to the ground, breaking his nails in the process. I threw him against the inner wall, and in that moment, both of us could feel it.
The Spire would claim him.
There would be no turning back; death would be eternal. Nothingness would embrace him.
I had to ensure he wouldn't escape.
With tears in my eyes, I broke his arms, his screams still haunt me. Even to this day, I suffer from it; every morning, I hear his whispers, every night, his screams keep me awake.
I did what I had to do to survive.
I wished there was another option. I wished so much that John was still by my side, but Hell was devised in such a way that even something as simple as friendship is only allowed for punishment.
I tried to be quick. With one of the rocks from outside, I broke his knees, turned around, and left.
"Nate, please! Please, Nate, don't do this to me! You bastard, what did I ever do to you? I hope you suffer, you piece of shit! Burn a thousand times in the deepest pit of this place!"
When I left, a black mass flooded the chamber, and I could see as Nate was consumed by the Spire. Until the moment they were dissolved, his eyes never stopped looking at me in that way, with palpable hatred.
At that moment, I realized that everything I had suffered until then was justified, I belong in Hell.
I tried to warn; I am not a good person.
The mass took on a purple glow, and the old man quickly pulled me inside. The last thing I saw before disappearing was the red glow of Jack's ring approaching in the caravan.
The air in Heresy is putrid, a constant miasma floats in the air like snowflakes, slowly filling your lungs and eventually killing you.
Outside the Spire in the center of the 6th circle, I noticed for the first time a strange mark on the back of my left hand.
A delta adorned with thorns.
But at that moment, I couldn't focus on it; all I could do was cry, huddled near the Spire, wondering if it was all really worth it.
"Let's go, he doesn't like to wait."
"Who?"
He looked at me, with a somber look in his eyes.
"Samael, the Morning Star, the true Lord of Hell."
These memories pain me, my hands tremble, and my eyes filled with water make it difficult to write.
I also still haven't fully recovered from the beating I took from that angelic being, so for today, we'll stop here.
Hell is an eternal prison, where everything and everyone are made and placed in such a way that at any moment they can be used against you.
Only pain will bring you a semblance of security, only agony will bring you power.
In this insane realm of trades, I should have realized that even the way out would exact a terrible price.

Transient lingual papillitis (lie bumps or liar’s tongue) is a condition that affects your tongue, making small, painful red or white bumps. It happens when something irritates your papillae, the tiny bumps covering your tongue. Transient lingual papillitis isn’t a serious condition.
Experts believe it’s common, but they can’t say how often lie bumps happen. Symptoms often go away within a few days so people may not get a formal diagnosis unless they decide to talk to a healthcare provider.
Transient lingual papillitis symptoms vary depending on the type of condition that you have. Common symptoms include:
Tiny red, white or yellowish bumps on the sides, tip or back of your tongue.
Sharp pain.
Burning sensation.
Different types of this condition have different symptoms. These include:
Classic: The most common type of transient lingual papillitis, it causes one or more painful red or white bumps on the tip or sides of your tongue.
Eruptive: It typically affects children. Along with the characteristic red and white bumps, eruptive lingual papillitis symptoms include fever and swollen lymph nodes. Eruptive lingual papillitis may be contagious.
U-shaped: Symptoms include macroglossia (enlarged tongue) and spots on your tongue. It may be a COVID-19 symptom.

Hey there.
So me and my gf have been together for 2 years, and it’s been pretty good together. We are mostly long distance with every 2 weeks we see each other. We have had some up’s and down’s, but all in all we have had a very stable and loving relationship.
However, over a month ago, my gf met this one online friend. He’s quite nice and I guess fun, at least in my gf’s mind. Ever since they met, they have been spending more and more time together. To the point where I think she talks with him more than she talks with me.
All in all I think it’s fine that she has a friend to talk to, but I can’t shake the feeling of jealousy I have towards him.
After being together for more than 2 years, I get that things die down a bit and become more routine. With this I feel like our convos have become a bit more mundane and “normal”. I don’t blame her at all, I am a bit of a dry texter sometimes, but I really try my best. She tries too, and it’s nothing bad, but the convos and energy she and her new friend has are nothing compaired to ours. I get why, he’s new and they have a lot of the same interests, but sometimes I have the feeling that she gets more excited by him than me when talking about a simmilar subject or thing.
I first confronted them both on their rather excessive texting and my gf consensually showed their messages. I read a couple and I honestlyy thought some of them were a bit too inappropriate for just two friends, but they both said it was just for fun and jokes, so maybe I am just overthinking it.
The one thing I def did wrong was that I kept her login for the app she used to talk with him and I just kept stalking their convos. The energy and vibe they had just kept me more and more jealous. In the end I told her what I did out of shame and honesty, and while she apprieciated my honesty, since then she has been a bit uneasy around me.
They both have forgiven my actions and said it’s fine, but I keep having a nagging feeling it’s way worse than it is.
Am I crazy? How do I deal with the jealousy? Are the signs of a failing relationship there?
tl;dr GF got new online friend and I don’t know how to deal with my jealousy of him