We are putting laminate down in our living room, the previous owners originally used this as a garage before building an addition. We have this step as shown in the photos. I've got a moisture barrier built into the underlayment for the floors and I know I can use the step cover thing for the actual steps, but for the wall in the first photo it's concrete with drywall above it and that's covered in wallpaper. We like the wallpaper and don't want to remove it. I was thinking of just taking the flooring and applying it onto the wall, but I'm not sure if that would work? I planned to use quarter round for where the floor meets the wall to cover that gap. Would this idea work? If so, should I put the underlayment on the wall too since it's concrete? They originally had it covered in carpet. Forgive me, I'm new to this, we just closed two weeks ago and it's our first house.

Hey everyone. My partner and I are planning on moving and received a residential rental agreement in Wisconsin from a potential landlord, however, it is quite a bit different than the standard WI residential lease agreements that we have received in the past. A TurboTenant template was used and modified to generate the lease. We are looking for some quick advice on whether or not the following language / clauses should be of concern to us as tenants:
1) “Landlord shall have the right at all reasonable times during the term of this agreement to enter the Property for the purpose of inspecting and exhibiting the Property and all buildings and improvements thereon. In non-emergency situations, Landlord will make a good faith effort to notify Tenants at least 24 hours prior to entry by one of the following methods: telephone message, email message, or door hanger, and having made such good faith effort shall enter as necessary. In emergency situation, or of a repair is requested by the Tenants, Landlord is permitted to enter immediately without prior notice.”
2) “Tenants are required to notify the Landlord in writing of any anticipated absence from the Property in excess of 7 days and shall make arrangements for the Property to be routinely checked on during the absence. Such written notice must be provided no later than the first day of such absence. Landlord may enter the Property at any time for any reasonable purpose during Tenants’ absence.”
3) “Tenants are hereby notified that a negative credit report statement may be submitted to a credit reporting agency if Tenants fail to fulfill the terms if this Lease Agreement”
4) “The Tenants are entrusted with the care and maintenance of the rented Property during the term of the lease. Specifically, the Tenants are responsible for promptly addressing minor maintenance tasks and repairs that arise in the course of occupancy. These tasks may include, but are not limited to:
a. Routine cleaning and upkeep of the interior of the Property, including floors, walls, and fixtures.
b. Please be mindful that the kitchen is fitted with laminate flooring. To prevent any potential expansion, we kindly ask that you ensure the floor remains dry at all times. Promptly attending to any spills or moisture will help preserve the condition of the flooring material.
c. Regular replacement of light bulbs, and air filters, as needed.
d. Minor repairs to plumbing fixtures, such as fixing leaks or clearing clogs caused by normal usage.
e. The rental unit is equipped with a range, over-the-range microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator, washer, and dryer for the convenience of Tenants. It is the responsibility of Tenants to ensure the proper maintenance, care, and cleanliness of these appliances throughout the duration of the tenancy. Tenants are responsible in reporting any malfunctions to the Landlord in a timely manner.
f. Proper disposal of trash and recycling in accordance with local regulations.
g. The Tenants are responsible for upholding cleanliness standards around the Property, including ensuring that no items are left outside and discouraging loitering on the Property. It is expected that the Tenants take proactive measures to maintain the tidiness and appearance of the Property at all times.
h. Tenants are not permitted paint anything including but not limited to walls, ceiling, cabinets or any Property.
i. Tenants shall maintain proper humidity to not facilitate growth of mold or mildew.
j. Tenants are allowed to hang pictures, clocks, and other decorative items on the walls of the rental unit. However, it is important to note that all decorations must be removed and the walls restored to their original condition upon the termination of the Lease Agreement. This includes filling any holes or damages caused by hanging the items. Failure to return the walls to their original state may result in deductions from the security deposit or additional charges for repair and restoration.
k. The Tenants agree to maintain the lawn and landscaping of the Property in a neat and orderly condition throughout the term of the lease, which includes regular mowing, watering, weeding, and trimming of grass, shrubs, and trees. The Tenants are responsible for providing all necessary equipment and materials for lawn maintenance unless otherwise agreed upon in writing by the Landlord. If the Tenants are unable or unwilling to perform lawn maintenance, the Landlord reserves the right to arrange for professional lawn care services at the Tenant's expense. The Tenants shall promptly report any lawn care issues or concerns to the Landlord for resolution. Furthermore, the Tenants agree to ensure that the lawn and landscaping are maintained in accordance with local ordinances and regulations to prevent fines or penalties imposed by the city or relevant authorities.
l. Tenants take responsibility of snow maintenance during winter months and agrees to ensure the safe passage and usability of driveways on the Property. This includes promptly arranging for snow removal and salting or sanding of walkways and driveways following snowfall or icy conditions. The Tenants agree to assist in snow maintenance efforts by promptly reporting any snow or ice accumulation that poses a safety hazard to the Landlord for prompt resolution.
m. Tenants shall not keep on the Property any item of a dangerous, flammable, or explosive character that might unreasonably increase the danger of fire or explosion on the Property, or that might be considered hazardous or extra hazardous by any responsible insurance company.”
Apologies for the length. Thanks in advance!

I got an interview for it but I’m confused is it being a personal shopper on the shop floor and picking customers orders? Is it physically demanding ??lifiting heavy things???

Hi all, I'm looking for some help/advice on something I really don't know how to confront. I'll try to make this short but detailed....
I (20F) started talking to this guy (24) maybe 3 months ago, we met on our university campus. He was super sweet and attentive in the first month of talking, but he couldn't really commit to plans. He still can't. For example, we'll make plans to do something (we've been making plans to get coffee for like 2/3 months now) but he just NEVER shows up, and doesn't reply to calls or texts until hours later. I told him I didn't like that, I hated being flaked on. He apologized and said he'd try do better. We last saw each other properly like 2 months ago, which is when 1) he told me he had Alexithymia and tried to explain it to me but didn't exactly go into detail, 2) he promised he would try and do better to be more consistent and not flake on me, and 3) we kissed (not significant to them, I've read) and we talked (once again) about coffee, which he said he would do, and never did.
This is when he REALLY started switching up on me. That weekend, I did a bunch of research into Alexithymia, simply to try and understand more about it, and sent him 3 simple surface-level questions I wanted him to answer because I wanted to understand it from his perspective. He never did. We made plans for the week after, and he bailed every day that week, once again not replying to texts asking where he was until hours later, always with an excuse, which I found hard to believe, but accepted anyway because I knew he had a busy schedule. It's not the fact that he's always busy that deeply bothers me, it's the fact that he neglects to inform me and I end up moving my schedule for something that never happens, which also makes me think he doesn't care enough, but then again, it may just be neurotypical thinking and the way we prioritise plans differ. I've gotten mad/sad/calmed down and tried to explain this frustration with regards to inconsistency and how difficult it becomes to try and understand how his brain works countless times. I've written notes, I've typed paragraphs, sent short texts, voice notes, made playlists, tried to speak about it face-to-face for months now, to no avail. I've tried to make it sound less emotional because he's explained to me that he finds those difficult to understand, but how do I know if he gets it if he never gives me the feedback I'd need to adjust how I communicated where needed so we can understand each other? It feels like he just ignores/avoids it or he's lost interest, or he doesn't know how to verbalise it, but I don't know because we are NEVER able to talk about it. I'm simply tired of trying, especially because I have the feeling I'm being ghosted anyway because my efforts have come off as needy or too emotional and overwhelming to him, but on the other hand, he has said before that in his previous relationships, his partners wouldn't exactly try to understand where he was coming from and brush his actions off as ''uncaring'', whereas he's explained to me that he ''does care, just differently'' (his words). It's just disheartening when I'm unsure of the flaws in my communication and he refuses to try (I feel like).
(That ended up WAAAAYYYY longer than I thought it would). But what do I do? Do I just leave it?(I know he won't contact me again if I just stop texting him). Is there even any way to salvage this?

Im in a wood shop class i had to spray my project in the ventilated spray room i asked my teacher if it was ready to spray he said to stop asking questions and to ask student that was already in the room so i did i watched them spray their project asked them some questions then did mine but their happened to be a students project on the spray table that looked like a solid piece of wood that we didn’t notice since their is big pieces of scrap wood all over the shop even on the spray table behind the students project the teacher then got angry at us for the mistake and called the student in and asked me to apologize i did and saw the project from a different angle it was multiple pieces of wood to make a large block it was only stained on the top and front side from what i saw if the other sides where not stained it would be dry and they could easily move it to a safe location instead of leaving it in the pray booth .they where in a class some time before mine, we have class every other day so im not sure why they were going to leave it there for more then a day. They also might have planned to stay after but their are still classes in between that time that use the booth constantly. My teacher lowered my grade by 12 i don’t think i deserve that since if he came to help himself he could have spotted the project or probably make the same mistake.
Sorry im not good at spelling stuff will be spelled wrong

I ‘25/F’ have been dating my boyfriend ‘27/M’ for a little over 3 years. We currently live together and I pay most of the expenses since I make more than him currently. (I make around 78,000 a yr while he makes a 15 an hour which would end up being a little over $26,000 a year). He has been working at a coffee shop which he enjoys most of the time since he lost his job 6 months ago. We split the rent 50/50 but I cover all other expenses groceries, trips, etc. he just got offered a job in a career that is he got his masters degree in. The problem is the job is across the country and they offered him a little less than what he was hoping for. This job offer $23 an hour with paid overtime and benefits. Currently at the coffee shop he makes $1100 (including tips and taxes taken out) every pay period and no benefits or pto. I work in a career field where I could most likely easily find a job wherever I go and am kind of excited to move as this place seems like a great city to live in. Not to mention a we would get a financial relief. We have talked about me staying where I am for the time being until he gets more settled in to the new place and is sure he likes the job and his employers like him before I move too.
I thought he would be really excited about the job offer but now he is thinking about not taking it. He is worried he won’t like the job and would be sad to move out of our luxury apartment to live on his own for a little bit. He also brought up being sad to leave the community he has at the coffee shop and really enjoys his flexible schedule here. He is also worried about the pay being to low from his recent job offer. He has been really depressed lately because he has been denied from several places he has applied to over the past 6 months. So I am really worried he will regret not taking this job if he doesn’t get another job offer soon. And was hopeful a new job would bring him better spirits and overall make him happier.
I have advised him to take the job offer and to continue to look for jobs and take interviews and if he finds something better to just decline the offer close to his start date or leave the job if he has already started. I think it’s a great opportunity to at least get his foot in the door and gain experience in the industry he got 2 degrees in. If he really doesn’t like it he can move back in with me and most likely get his job back at the coffee shop as they really like him there. However he is still saying he is really on the fence about it and isn’t sure if he will accept the offer as he isn’t sure he wants to go back to a desk job.
Is it ok for me to bring up our salary differences now? I feel like I spend a lot of my money on him and I am usually happy to do so as it ensures I get to live the lifestyle I want with the person I love! However with the thought of him making more I did get really excited thinking we would split things a little more evenly and I’d have some money to spend on myself to maybe update my wardrobe, finish paying off my car, and pay for a pottery class etc. I used to only spend about $80-$100 on groceries before I met him but now I pay around $350-$400 a week in groceries alone as he really eats a lot and only like organic, free range, high quality ingredients. I really wonder if I wasn’t paying so much if he would be more willing to take the job. I also don’t want to push him to take a job if he really doesn’t want it. I don’t think you should solely take a job just because you would make more money but I do think whether he takes or declines the job it will affect our relationship. Am I being to materialistic in waiting him to take this job?

This all happened a few months ago. Just wanted to share and let you guys know that all boomers are the biggest pushovers ever. Don't ever be afraid to stand up to them.
Here's the deal, I work in a building that houses many businesses. Of course, there is a shared bathroom amongst each of the floors and we interact with people who aren't even within our company whenever we go to the restroom.
Of course, the business next to me employs the dumbest fucking boomers I've ever seen. Example ahead.
One day when I was taking a leak, a guy I've seen around, about 65, heads out OF THE STALL and proceeds to not wash his hands and walk straight out of the door. Exclaimed, I:
"Gross."
flabbergasted that someone would call out their, literally, shitty behavior
"What?"
"You heard me. Gross. Wash your hands."
Boomer scoffs, then leaves. Absolutely nothing happens for three weeks afterwards.
One day, I walk into the restroom and I'm mad because my dumbass co-workers can't schedule or mange anything correctly and it's costing me time and money. I'm mad, I admit, and washed my hands in the sink a little too vigorously. I got some water on the sides of the counter. Its a bit of water that the janitors will wipe away. That's my transgression.
For context, I was the facilities manager for about a dozen different apartment buildings in a life before this career. I have literally swam in human shit up to my elbows. Ive witnessed ceilings collapse under the weight of human feces and urine. Meth labs, tweakers, and illegal businesses were an altogether different issue. A bit of water on the side of the sink doesn't even register as a problem.
I'm in the urinal.
Boomer walks into the restroom, clearly still fuming about being told off weeks prior, and heads directly into the stall while I was washing my hands. I hear him pull down his pants and sit on the toilet. From there, he mumbles that "morons getting water everywhere. Dont wash your hands so hard, fucking idiot."
It's also a good time to mention that I'm a big man, with a big voice. Not self-described, either. A regional newspaper covered me as that once. Don't ask.
"The fuck did you say?"
"Uhhh..." (realizing I am not a fucking pushover. I got loud. Real loud.)
"First off, you are way too comfortable jawing at men with your pants around your ankles, so I bet you've done this before. Second, at least I wash my hands. And third, I WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT! Anything else you want to yap about big boy?"
Silence
"That's what I thought. Don't shit in the toilet too hard, asshole!"
Turned the lights off, and I slammed the door. Fucking hard, too. I had stuff to go and manage. You can wipe in the dark, motherfucker.
A few days later, I am coming out of the restroom and boomer-cunt is walking in. Literally, I-open-the-door-and-he-is -reaching-for-the-handle-on-the other-side situation.
I take up the doorway. I do not move.
Boomer-cunt shrinks when he sees me, steps right back and moves around the jamb to the other side. Bows his head down and looks intently at the floor.
I waited for a second, too. I wasn't moving, fuck this asshole. Stared him down. Took up the entire doorway until I was done.
And now, it's been golden silence for months. His office door is right next to the restroom, and I literally hear him plan out his bathroom breaks when I'm not around. Dude shuts his door when he hears my footsteps coincidentally walking down the hallway and he was planning on going to the bathroom.
Anyways, it helps to be big and scary but I promise, anyone can stand up to these shitty cowards. They are all paper Tigers, every. Last. One. Of. Them.
And wash your fucking hands, people. Jesus christ. I don't need another Typhoid fuckin' Mary walking around.

I signed up to ‘Virgin Red’ using a referral link on the last promo they were running to get a free 1,000 points and go on a Greggs shopping spree after my first purchase, and it turned out to be ALOT easier than I thought it would be.
The way in which Virgin Red functions is that you get points as cashback for each qualifying purchase you make with one of their partnered retailers (there’s quite a few!) and then you can redeem those points against vouchers and discounts on other products.
They are for a limited time offering 1,000 points to new sign ups who create an account using this link and make any qualifying purchase (of any amount!) through a partnered retailer
I just made a purchase on Ebay, which i was going to make anyway!!! (Just make an eBay purchase of £1/+ and it will work!!!)

You can also then get another 10,000 points by referring 10 friends :)!

Examples of what you can spend your points on:

Greggs Sausage Roll - 200 points each
Greggs salad or Gourmet baguette - 500 points each
£5 Costa coffee gift card - 1,000 points each
Vue cinema ticket - 1,350 points each
£20 Pizza express gift card - 4,000 points each
Virgin Wines £25 gift voucher - 5,000 points (So you could potentially get 2 crates if you refer 9 people after you sign up)
Nike £30 gift card - 6,000 points each
You can also redeem points against flights taken on Virgin Airlines.

Free 1,000 points

^{non ref}

Hi everyone! Planning first trip to Paris with my boyfriend for 4 days. I have a loose itinerary planned out. I have a day set aside to explore Monmarte, and a day set aside to explore Marais. Is that too much time? Should I add anything else in there? All recommendations welcome!
Day 1: -Walk to Monmarte from hotel (in Marais) -Find breakfast at cafe on the way -Explore Monmarte (feel free to add suggestions of things to do/see/shop in Monmarte aside from Sacre Cour) -Lunch in Monmarte -Walk back -6:45 Res at Ober Mama -End night with drinks at Little Red Door and bars around area
Day 2: -Breakfast at Carette by Marais -Walk around area -1:00 PM lunch at Mokonuts -More exploring Marais, thrifting (any suggestions of things to do welcome) -Dinner at L’Avant Comptoir du Marche -End night at La Caveau
Day 3: -Eiffel Tower -Picnic on Siene -Musee d’Orsav -Maybe Catocombs? -Dinner at La Rennome -Siene night cruise
Day 4: -Versailles (let me know if it’s worth it or if i should do something else in my time here that i’m missing from my other days”
Appreciate everyone’s help!

I need to get better at budgeting for food. I tend to shop a lot on the go, buying random things without really thinking ahead. I don't even tend to buy the fancy vegan products, just tofu, oat milk etc, but still shopping gets expensive because of my lack of planning, so I was wondering if any of you have some good recommendations on apps, etc which could help plan the week out a bit better. I also don't have loads of time, so if there was a possibility of selecting easy recipes it would be awesome

A few weeks ago, someone posted a link to one of Don’s rants and I went through and commented on each of the points. I can't find that post, but I had copied it over here: https://www.reddit.com/perpetualeducation/comments/1c7k9re/donthedeveloper_on_a_rant_about_how_aspiring/
We had a chat about it. Here’s the video/podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmqZkC3LqU&lc
Don titled it: There's a MASSIVE Skill Gap Among New Developers
I'll attempt to write a bit about that - (even though we went over many other topics - and I'm having a hard time grouping them)
It’s easy to simplify this into “the market” or “the boot camp” or “the tech stack” or "what's fair" or "the resume" - but I think people are missing the various multidimensional aspects at play. Is it:
Is it all of those things - and more? (Yes). And it's "the student" too." We're all different (cue reading rainbow moment). But it's true. Some of us are slower. Some of us are faster but miss the details. Some of us have a background that alignes neatly with tech. Some of us already know what job we want and why - and other people just want to make a good bet on a stable career. No matter what zone you're in, we still have to face the music - and deal with (trigger alert) - the truth.
The market is real. Companies aren't aggressively hireing random barely capable developers right now (like they have in the past). They're scared and holding on to their money. They also kinda realized they were spending more money on middle management and probably developers too - and are going to need some time to figure out how to make profitable businesses (or how to keep getting more VC funding to burn through).
But if there's a huge gap between your skills/experience and what it takes to do the job you're applying for, none of the other factors matter.
Many people choose a coding boot camp based on superficial factors like the price, the timeline, the website design, and the sales pitch. They often don't consider other important aspects because they simply don't know better. This isn’t unlike any other product or service or school.
Some people pick out a boot camp and learn a bunch of awesome stuff and they go out there and start a new career and for some reason, they don’t come back to Reddit to tell us about it. There are some legit colleges and boot camps and other alternative learning paths out there - that are really great. It's just a fact.
If you read the bootcamp marketing, paid your tuition, went through the steps they lined out, and came out the other end unable to get that job they promised you, well - that’s awkward. Maybe for you, it’s that simple. If you feel like you got a raw deal, I’m sorry. There are some businesses that should be ashamed of themselves - but they won't be. All you can do is warn other people. That’s over now. We can only work with the present.
For people who really want to work in this industry - they'll keep moving forward: at the end of the day, this is the playing field. So, if you want to get off the bench, we’re going to have to design a path to that – and you might need to rethink some of your assumptions.
It could certainly be said that new developers are now expected to know about–and have experience with–a lot more things.
Are the expectations that someone brand new to development is going to be able to get a job unreasonable? Well, does it matter what someone’s opinion about that is? You either want the job - or you don’t. And you need to know how to do the job, or no one will hire you. Do you need to know everything on this huge list to get an entry level position https://roadmap.sh/javascript ? (no) (in fact - close that - and don’t ever look at it again)
When I started (at the age of ~30) (in ~2011), you needed to know HTML, CSS, (Probably some PhotoShop to get your assets), maybe a little PHP (and likely HTTP and more about URLs and request types and forms), FTP and DNS to get your site hosted, and maybe some JavaScript. You might have used jQuery to help out or Knockout.js. And you had to know how to hook up a database and MySQL and probably a CMS or some sort. And maybe your code was a mess or maybe it adhered to some common patterns. But that was life. Not everyone needed to know all those things. Some people would focus more on getting the mockup into the HTML and CSS. Other people might focus on the server and the PHP or Perl or Java. There were all sorts of jobs and some of them were done by people with a formal education in Computer Science studies and other people just figured it out as needed. There was a lot of work to be done. Lots of custom stuff to build and maintain. And it was just normal to learn more incrementally as the years went by. You could totally get a job knowing just HTML and CSS (and you still can BTW). There was still an infinite amount of things you could know. But it seemed to ramp up naturally because we were closer to the grain of The Web.
So, what do people learn now? (Generally) They rush through some HTML and CSS really quick (which actually teaches them more bad habits than good). They rarely learn about DNS or FTP because a tutorial showed them how to type a few random things into a terminal to have their site on a free service and they don’t buy a domain name because there’s a free subdomain. Apparently paying for anything is for suckers and companies that don't give you things for free are evil capitalistic pigs who should be shut down. New devs don’t know much about servers because their text editor is actually running an advanced web application behind the scenes that starts a virtual server and runs all sorts of other things they don’t understand outside of that context - like connecting to version control, opening a terminal pane, SSH, code completion and typeahead, autoimport completion, AI suggestions and other additional layers like typescript and many other linters to tell them where all their errors are. If they couldn't use VSCode - they might be dead in the water. It can feel like you’re just a bag of meat being yelled at by VSCode as you try and solve the errors and remove all the red lines. And we do all of these - to put the training wheels in place.
And I’m not saying that a LAMP stack doesn’t have it’s own level of black-box and mysteries with how Apache handles your HTTP requests and MySQL starts up it’s own server - but we have to be comfortable with some level of abstraction or we’d be writing all ones and zeros at the machine code level.
So, the new developer is manning this huge stack of tools unknowingly, but they do get a lot of benefits. We can spin up a pretty complex web application with a front-end to make requests, a server to talk to a database and other third-party systems and respond back to the client/front-end, and an auth layer to make sure people are properly signing in and only seeing what they need to see. There are abstractions for HTML and CSS and JS that put that template logic and controller logic into a neat little component file (which is great) and that component file is properly registered based on file name conventions and everything gets set up in this larger system of conventions that all happen behind the scenes in the framework architecture. So, as a new developer - you can really ride the framework and know hardly anything about how it works - as long as you know the language to speak to this layer of the abstraction (the API).
These aren't just arbitrary add-ons that people made to complicate things. They solve real-world problems. The new dev won't really understand what they are - but I'm not saying we should just get rid of them. They allow us to move faster and to build interfaces and business logic without having to write tons of behind the scenes repeated structural code by hand. And with those training wheels, we have more time on our hands. We can also add in the chance to further define our programs with safety measures and plan automated testing routines, and built-in documentation of our code base. We can keep adding layers and layers or pull in more and more third-party tools. It’s pretty amazing. But what people end up learning is how to maintain that configuration - and there’s only so much time - and so, they end up learning 10% of all the things you used to need/want to know. And some jobs have a path for that. But there's likely going to be a long-term cost for you.
Arguably - it doesn’t matter how much “code” you know - and making things is what matters. And that’s true. That’s what matters to the business that pays you. And to the school that wants you to feel good about your progress. But I think you should protect your learning journey. It’s for you. It’s going to be what you carry on throughout the years and it’s a seed.
Getting proficient with a popular tech stack - when the market is booming proved to be a great decision for boot camps and their students. And I'd bet that the majority of people mean well.
But when it's not booming, students are in it for the wrong reasons, schools have tightened up and moved online, the market has plenty of devs who already have 5+ years working with that framework/stack -- then all of the sudden - the surface-level fake-it-till-you-make-it path (as much as I respect that) doesn't work as well. You're going to have to put in some more energy.
When it's obvious that you can't build an HTML page with semantic markup, that's accessible, and has a universally pleasurable experience, and you can't write CSS without a UI framework or do anything custom, it's obvious. You should be aware of that gap. When you've never owned a domain name or setup a deployment pipeline, you should be aware of that gap. When your personal website looks like your boot camp gave it to you, you should be aware of how that looks. When you can't take a server-side scripting language like Python or Go or PHP and build out a little personal website framework - you should be aware of that gap. When you can't plan a project and don't have experience with diagrams and explaining things, you need to be aware of that gap. When you've never written about your process or created any case-studies to explain your projects, you should be aware of that gap. When you're only proof of work is the class assignments, you should be aware of that gap. When your github history goes dead after the last day of class, you should be aware that we'll see that. When you claim to no nothing about visual design and that's for someone else on the team - you should be aware of that gap. If you refuse to turn on your camera and just want to be left alone, you should be aware of that huge gap. If you can't build a little prototype app without React, they you probably don't JavaScript, and you should be aware of that gap. And there will ALWAYS be a gap. There's always more to learn. So - it's an important skill to know what to learn and why - and when. You can't learn everything. And if you're having a hard time finding work right now, then get clear on your goal. Stop applying for general "Software engineer" jobs you aren't ready for. Narrow your scope. Figure out a job that you think you can do confidently. Get clear on how big your gap is and what you need to learn to get centered and confident with your toolset. Ideally, it's fun. Try and ignore all the doom and gloom and focus on your own personal goal.
It's not just the market. Too many people are applying for jobs they aren't anywhere near qualified to do. And it probably doesn't feel good. But luckily - you can learn the things and get back on track.

Hi guys, appreciate your input.
In my country, the Intel (Core Ultra 5 125H) and AMD (Ryzen 5 7535HS) variant of Thinkpad E16 Gen 2 are priced about the same USD790 (just couple of dollars different), may I know which one do you reckon? I mainly plug-in in office as clamshell and connects to a 27" external monitor as well as wireless keyboard and mouse.
However, I do bring it with me to a coffee shop and work on battery maybe twice a week.
I work on words document, excel spreadsheet, PDF, and occasionally photoshop. Surf internet, YouTube. Rarely have time to game and would like to do so if I have a little bit of spare time.
I prefer it to have better battery life and runs cooler with fan rarely kicks in (less fan noise) with my above said light tasks. But I don't mind constant fan running when I game on it (which I think I probably don't have time to game). I also hope the laptop could last for maybe 3-5 years at least with care.
I actually choosing between these and also the HP Victus 16 (USD660) with specs below: AMD Ryzen 5 8645HS, 16GB DDR5 5600 RAM, 512GB SSD, RTX4050 6GB, 16.1 FHD 100% sRGB screen.
Look forward from you guys. Thanks in advance.

I decided to post this as before giving birth, i realized that there aren’t really any resources for new parents planning to give birth at NHH as far as what to expect.
I recently gave birth at NHH. For context, I chose to have an epidural and ended up having an emergency c-section after a full day of labour. We also live in town, and our families are both in town so if we forgot something, it wasn’t a big deal. This is important to know as my experience doesn’t represent what everyone’s will be.

1. the nurses are absolutely incredible. They will answer any question you have-even how to swaddle or change a diaper, and they’ll help with breastfeeding.
2. the room is a private room and is large. It’s where labour, delivery and recovery happen (c-sections are performed in a different room)
3. I was happy with the meals. Bring lots of snacks if you can. Also, your support person does not get meals.
4. You stay overnight for a vaginal delivery and 2 for c-section (unless there’s complications). There are blankets and pillows but if you’re worried, bring your own for you and your support person. Neither of us had issues with them but we were exhausted and could’ve slept on a concrete floor.
5. The pressure in the shower was nowhere near enough to wash my hair. I only showered to remove the dressing from my incision, otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered while I was there. I did wash my face and brush my teeth though so being a nice face cloth. Also, they have towels so I wouldn’t bother bringing any.
6. I stayed in the hospital gown until the day I left. Out of all the clothes/pajamas I packed, I only needed the clothes I wore to leave. Make sure the underwear you choose is oversized and goes over your belly…so granny panties.
7. They have pads for you while you’re there.
8. For our baby, she didn’t wear any of the clothes we packed, other than her going home outfit. She stayed swaddled in the hospital blanket the entire time.
9. Bring diapers and wipes. More than you think you’ll need.
10. Make sure you bring charging cords that are long.
11. The nurses will help you breastfeed (if you want). If you are having issues, they have formula there to supplement.

I followed the “What to Pack” list on the NHH website. I didn’t end up using 80% of what I packed but it’s better to be prepared. I really think snacks are a priority though-i wish we brought more.
Overall, NHH was great. I had a pretty traumatic laboudelivery and I’m not sure if i would’ve been able to handle it if the nurses, doctors, anesthesiologist, and the obstetrician weren’t as caring as they were.

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

I’m in the middle of a burnout, spent all day on the sofa. Haven’t had any energy to clean anything or do anything. I’ve just stood up to go to bed and there’s hundreds of ants all over my living room floor and coffee table. It’s 1am and I really need to sleep but now apparently I have to deal with the ant infestation and I don’t know what to do.
The entire room is a tip, so trying to hoover would require tidying the room first. There’s dirty plates everywhere so they’re just going to keep coming unless I tidy up but our dishwasher is broken right now. Mostly I just don’t know what to do. I’m so tired, I don’t want to deal with his right now.

First, I apologize if this is not the proper forum... Today I went to a little independent coffee shop in my neighbourhood for the first time. I had never been there before, but I am tired of supporting the big, over priced chain. (It was fantastic, btw!) I placed my order and was waiting when I noticed the second server, and she was unbelievably beautiful. Not in a glamourous, made up, model kind of way, but in a simple, natural way. She was perfect. She was probably half my age, so I just sat there and drank my coffee. But I couldn't help taking the odd, quick glance in her direction when I thought she wasn't looking. I did not ogle or linger, just a glance long enough to think "wow!" She caught me a couple of times and I saw a small smile appear on the corners of her lips as I quickly looked away. I thought about saying something but did not want to embarrass or offend her. A few minutes later the place cleared out, so she came out to clean tables while her work partner went to the back. I swear I have never done anything like this before, but I felt the urge to compliment her. So, as I walked past her I leaned in, just a little, avoided eye contact and said, sincerely, "I'm sorry for staring but you are astonishingly beautiful", and walked away. She replied with what sounded like a flattered, slightly excited, and appreciative "Thank you!" as I walked out the door. I didn't look back. I honestly do not treat women in a sexualized way. I always try to treat everyone respectfully until they give me reason not to. I would like to go there again as I would prefer to support a local business.
So here are my 2 questions.

1. Was I a complete jerk for doing that?
   
2. Should I now avoid this place?
   

I have no intention of hitting on her or trying to pick her up. It really was just a compliment. But I would like to give this place a chance, even if she is not working when I go.

Hey guys I’m going shopping for a good mixer this weekend and could use some recommendations. What brands or models do you guys love? How long have you had this mixer?
Also, I’m planning to start making and baking bread from scratch. What essential tools and ingredients should I put on my shopping list to get started?🥰🫶🏽

Hi there,
I've searched through this sub's itineraries for the last hour or so. I haven't found what I'm looking for. I'm from SF and taking an Amtrak trip with a connection in NYC it gets in to Moynihan Train Hall at Penn Sta. (NYP). The trip will be late September or early Oct - not definitively decided yet. The train options are scheduled to get in at 4:50 or 6:40 or 10:50pm - I can pick a time. I'd leave the next day at 11am or 3pm. So I'd have about 24 hours max. New York isn't really the point of the trip, but I'd like to do something fun anyways. I've never been to New York, but I'll be back.
If there were 1 or 2 must-sees what would those be? I like parks, ferries, nature. I love views or skyscrapers or to look at monuments without touring. I'm not into museums per se or tours. I'm not into shopping. If there's casual good food somewhere that'd be great. Good coffee and pastry/bagel in the am? I'm good with lots of walking. I'm good taking subways (preferably not more than 1/2 an hour one way but if really worth it I'd do more) and any other type of transportation you recommend I'm game for. I'd prefer to not spend more than $100 for the day per person (excluding lodging).