Our 3 yr old starts pre-k in June. I wanted to homeschool b/c there are no Montessori or play-based schools nearby (we are in India) but my husband, who doesn't know much about homeschooling or Montessori was against it mainly for the "socialization" aspect. I did find a different school with more activity based curriculum but he voted against it because it is 15-20 minutes further away.
I finally compromised to let her do pre-k in this school and then switch to a more holistic curriculum next yr (we will be moving closer to the school I like) and my husband agreed.
We just picked up her pre-k books and I am so frustrated because it is worse than anticipated. 90% of it is workbooks with repetitive tracing of letters and numbers. They even have small 4 lined (small lines) notebooks where they will need to write what the teacher tells them to. The worst part is they are not even following phonics groupings - the tracing book is capital letters in alphabetical order.
I do not know what other play-based activities they will include but I am extremely disappointed in worksheets because I am so against them especially at this young age and I would have done so many more exciting activities with her at home. This pre-k seems to have very little that will take advantage of her unique personality, interests and skills.
Have any of you been in this situation where you wanted to do Montessori at home when they are getting traditional (outdated) instruction at school? How do you navigate around this in a way that brings out the optimum growth for your children? Any feedback is greatly appreciated- thank you!

Hello Everyone,
This is my first post here. I recently became a director of a Catholic school program. The curriculum is all over the place, and we need to standardize it for the entire center. I was researching High Scope, as it looked like it was pretty child-centered, but I don't want something that will involve a lot of worksheets and unnecessary wall clutter.
Can anyone who has used this curriculum provide any insight or advice? We are limited in what we can use:
• High/Scope
• Creative Curriculum
• Waldorf
• Frog Street
• Montessori
Thank you!

Hello! My husband and I are thinking of moving from Houston into The Woodlands. We have a 2 month old who will be starting daycare at our church in a couple of weeks. The plan was to keep him there through pre-k. Now that we are thinking of moving to the Woodlands this summer, I am looking at trying to get him on a list somewhere up there to attend preferably starting in the fall (I’ll be able to be off work this summer with him).
Since we are looking to keep him in the same spot through pre-k, I am looking for a school/daycare that is play based (no worksheets/flash cards,etc). I am also ok with Montessori or Reggio but this isn’t a deal breaker. I would prefer a Christian faith based school. I would like them to offer things like music and plenty of outdoor time.
Does anyone have any recommendations? I appreciate it!

UPDATE: expulsion reversed, for now!
Coming back for an update. We met with the headmaster and made our case. They agreed to let our son stay for the remainder of the year on very strict probational terms with all the power in their hands. They have instructed his teachers to extend zero extensions or generosity in expectations/ grading. They said it is very unlikely he will be allowed to remain at the school for next year, but they are willing to defer that decision to see what he can produce in these final months. It's in his hands.
On a very positive note, his mental health has improved. Opening a fresh term (they are on trimesters) without any late assignments hanging over him was a sweet relief. Although, due to his low grades, at least two courses have to be repeated in the summer. But he is doing much better and setting so many goals for himself.
I really appreciate the comments, even those who worried they were harsh. I can handle it, and I appreciate all of it.
I would in fact love to be less involved. When I try ignoring the school’s emails and phone calls, they only dial up the pressure and demand we come in for meetings.
As for my son’s need for autonomy and wanting to be in the driver’s seat on these enrollment decisions, I can’t do entirely so without feeling financially irresponsible. I went to free public school and to an affordable state university. A SINGLE year of his current tuition is more than was spent on my entire education from age 5 - 22. And not just because I’m old, lol, - a year of his high school cost more than 3 years of current tuition at my university. My parents graciously paid for that, and my obligation was clear in repayment: good attendance and respectable academic effort. The thought of just failing classes (almost entirely due to lack of attendance) on someone else’s dime seems entitled and ungrateful to me, especially since the whole thing (leaving public school) was his idea.
I will share some really mature insights he has offered in case any of you have very young children. From his perspective, all the years of IEP accommodations hurt him. He wishes we could go back and have no accommodations or supports, including extended time, modified/shortened assignments, etc., because he said it only pushed the problem off to an older age when it was much harder to adapt to "normal" expectations. He says being an A student in public school (with a robust IEP) prevented him from developing necessary skills that a 15 year old should have. And of course, he is also upset that it is all on his record because he wants to apply to West Point or the Air Force Academy and says the long history of accommodations will make that nearly impossible. The military was never on his or our radar before this year.
As I am facing an upcoming psycho-educational analysis with my 8 year old who is almost a carbon copy of my 15 year old (clinical dx of autism, anxiety, ADHD), I will take accommodation recommendations with a huge grain of salt and reflect deeply about whether they will serve him in the long run. I’m also halfway through a controversial book on childhood therapy that has me questioning everything and is somewhat supporting my teen’s opinion that many of our efforts to “help” him, from school accommodations to SSRIs to therapy, may not have only been unhelpful but potentially even harmful. He's asking to come off all meds. We let him come off ADHD but I'm nervous to have him wean off the SSRIs but promised we can try. It’s a lot to digest.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/716567/bad-therapy-by-abigail-shrie
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Original post:
TL;DR - are there alternatives to the Low Demand Lifestyle for supporting PDA? And what educational options should I consider for a 15 year old who has flunked out of school?
I don't think in the long run my son will be happy with the results if we go with Low Demand Lifestyle, he has in fact tells me I should've pushed him more his whole life and not let him quit so many things. To be fair, when I'm able to convey expectations in a non-confrontational manner, I do try. But an expectation is an expectation, and he can read between the lines. He has PDA but is also ambitious, which is a tragic combination. In moments of clarity throughout his life, he's expressed such anguish over all the things he quit (like team sports, musical instruments) and has such grief and regret for all the things he's said "no" to. But he's rarely in the right mood to say "yes." So in the moment, low demands might feel good to him, but I think that he will be incredibly unhappy in the long run because his world is just getting smaller and smaller and more screen-based and it's not what he says wants, even as he resists most offers of support and forms of therapy and tough love.
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Background: I will just start with an apology. I'm sure I'll say something wrong because no, I haven't lurked on this board lately and I'm sure I'll put my foot in my mouth even as I endeavor not to. I am breaking my self-imposed Reddit and social media ban to ask this because my family is in crisis. (I get screen-addicted very easily, just like my neurodivergent kids. I had to make a clean break from Reddit, Twitter and all other social media and hope that beyond the rare post like this I will stick with it).
I have 4 kids, 3 of whom are clinically diagnosed with autism, ADHD and anxiety disorders. I'm am very similar to them, but, you know, getting a clinical diagnosis for a 46 year old woman who's masked her whole life is a familiar and frustrating story in these spaces.
My oldest is in crisis. He is in the process of being expelled/flunking out of his high school. They are letting him finish the tri-mester term (finals are next week) after we begged so I'm using this time to make an emergency transition plan. He does have a psychiatrist and a therapist but I don't know how much I can lean on him because it turns out he just lies to them and they don't really "know" him. The PDA profile was suggested to me by a BCBA when he was 7 and he checks all the boxes for this condition perfectly, even though no other therapists, doctors or educators we've worked with are familiar with it and we are in the US so it's not a recognized DSM diagnosis.
His school, which he begged to attend, is a rigorous college prep school that I was adamantly opposed to because it's way too hard (AND requires 2 team sports! He's not a sporty guy and he has asthma which he uses to get out of most practices and games). It's also incredibly expensive, more than my college tuition for just high school. His rationale was that we pay college savings to high school instead, then he'd do so well he'd get scholarships.
He hated public school (which he attended Prek - 8th with a homeschool detour during Covid) despite the fact that we are in a very reputable district and he had a robust IEP. He didn't like it because he felt like he wasn't learning and that they discouraged critical thinking (any attempts at counterpoints or challenging a teacher on a historical inaccuracy was promptly shut down). He got excellent grades with little effort, there was not much homework and in our districts' attempt to close achievement gaps, they've just been continually lower the expectations across the board. So, I guess that was indeed a very Low Demand Lifestyle and on paper it looked like he was doing fine, straight As.
Even so, he's had school refusal his entire life. It got worse as he got older, like average 30 days absent per year. We used to get the threatening letters from the school about attendance. Which was really fucking rich during Covid, since they were the ones who'd they'd send him home if he so much as sniffled and not allow him back without a negative Covid test (which was before the home tests rolled out), and banned nebulizers for asthma during school hours because it could "aerosolize the Covid particles" then had the audacity to send us a sternly worded letter about attendance and referrals Child Family Service referrals. I digress.
I must emphasize that HE begged to leave the district. We are public school graduates, raised by public school teachers, it's all we knew and all we had considered. So when he applied then miraculously got accepted into the hardest private school in our region, I pled my case to pick any number of other more relaxed private schools like a really interesting Montessori high school that felt like a great fit. But no, he loved this one because it's hard, it's prestigious, it was more open to diverse viewpoints. They were fully aware of his diagnoses and IEP and made him their own version of a learning plan, which is not like an IEP but more like a 504. They offered the typical accommodations like extended time and organizational assistance.
He's in his sophomore year. From day 1 of freshman year, he's resisted all of their academic support. He doesn't check or respond to emails, he ghosted the peer tutors and learning consultants (until we tied his cooperation to screen time) and he didn't put in the time required to stay afloat. They were very upfront about rigor: high school students average 3 hours of homework per night. Other families we consulted confirmed their sons came home, worked, ate dinner, worked some more, and went to bed. I TOLD HIM ALL OF THIS and begged him not to go there. I was overruled. My husband thought that if there was even a chance that he would grow up and throw his heart into this school, who are we to stand in his way? My husband's best friend attended there in the 90s and barely got through it, but he says that it made him the successful man he is and that he had no regrets.
Things have only gotten worse. His grades and attendance have been terrible. I offered many times to let him transfer to an easier school. He refused (and still refuses, he says if this doesn't work out he won't consider any other school). He took a medical leave of absence this fall to go to Rogers Behaviorial in Wisconsin to treat his anxiety (total disaster, we picked him up 6 days into his planned 6 week stay). That, too, was his idea. He wanted to go "resolve" his social anxiety and we were sold a vision of peaceful walks in the woods, horseback riding, and strategies to conquer anxiety. Instead he was put in a locked depression recovery unit with suicidal kids (he was not suicidal) and he didn't breathe outdoor air once in the 6 days he was there and he wasn't even allowed to have books in his room. Suffice to say, his mental health declined while there instead of improving.
Upon picking him up early, his school didn't let him immediately return. They said it was finals time and he'd missed too much so he should just come back at the next term (around Thanksgiving). This meant weeks at home and retreating further into Youtube and videogames and daily battles with us for more screentime. I can't overemphasize how draining these daily battles were (and still are). We even tried it his way "if you remove ALL limits it will be less tantalizing for me and I will self-moderate." We tried that...without guardrails he'd spend 9-10 hours a day on screens! Which I get, my own screen addiction has been a constant battle.
They let him return in November for the second trimester and we are still in that term but his performance has been very poor, even as they let him drop one class to makeup over the summer. He has racked up absences and turned in almost no work and currently has two failing grades. Before winter break the school made it very clear that a massive turnaround was needed. He went into break full of ambition. He squandered it. He spent all of his time doing anything but work. We argued constantly about screen time and even when we stood firm on our limit (2 hours per day) he would find anything else to do besides work on his overdue assignments. The expectation was that he would return from break fully caught up. He did not, not even close.
We were clear then and have been clear throughout that they weren't going to let him continue in this manner. They told us that if a drastic improvement didn't happen immediately, he would have to repeat his sophomore year. That was a nonstarter for him. "I will not. I will have to quit in that case. I refuse."
We have tried SO FUCKING HARD. We've broken down every single missing assignment (there were over 50) and showed him exactly what to do, offered tutoring, offered to take him to dad's empty office on the weekends to work in peace, offered helpful apps like Photomath, he refused all of it. And the lies, oh the lies. We have caught him lying about completed work so many times. And that's what brought things to a head last week, ahead of schedule. He was supposed to have until the end of next week, the end of the term, before they lowered the boom. But they caught him lying to his advisor and learning consultant about having turned in work he hadn't turned in and they confronted him and he had a panic attack and said "ok! ok! I guess I have to quit!" and I think they were relieved and took that at face value. He didn't mean it. They told us there was nothing else they could do for him and that we were at the end.
Over the weekend he did 6 months worth of Algebra 2. He did it. For real. He said "I don't deserve another chance, but can you ask anyway?" So we went and plead his case with the powers that be yesterday. They were unmoved but we finally got them to let him take the finals, with a huge caveat that there is very little chance they will change their mind regardless of how he scores because his avoidant behavior and lack of honesty have been so persistent, and that the level of daily support they have been providing him is far beyond what they've ever done for any student at that school and just not in keeping with their standards for rigor and preserving their reputation for academic excellence. :(
I'm not sure if he is deluded about his propsects, all month he's been telling me he wants to get off all medications and drop his learning plan so he can apply for a medical waiver and try to get into USMA (West Point) which automatically disqualifies based on autism, adhd, IEPs, and related medications and supports. You can apply for an exemption, but based on his record even BEFORE he was about to be kicked out, it seems incredibly unlikely. It is bizarre to me that he is even interested. We are not a military family. He is a healthy weight, but I can't imagine he could keep up with the physical demands. He doesn't exercise daily (like we tell him to), he doesn't like to wake up early, basically everything about the military lifestyle seems counter to his nature, but that's his "thing" right now that's all he can think about.
So he's at school for the next week and a half and I need to use that time to figure out what happens next. The year we homeschooled (7th grade) was so stressful. He learned a lot, but not what I asked him to learn. I made daily work plans and he would just push them aside and watch educational videos instead on totally different topics than what we were supposed to be learning. We fought a lot. I am not sure I can try that again, but I also know he refuses to go to any other brick and mortar school. I'm also hesitant to do any kind of online school because he is SO SCREEN ADDICTED that it seems like a terrible idea. I was thinking of going old school with textbooks, worksheets, pencils and just avoiding screen-based work as much as possible. But every single day will be like pulling teeth and I'm not sure I have the emotional bandwidth for it.
The only school that *has* to take him at this point is obviously the public high school. I know he will not go.
I'm not sure what to do. And back to my original question -- are there other schools of thought besides Low Demand Lifestyle? My husband considers it a nonstarter. Even some of the "success" stories I've read for that approach don't sound like what I would consider success. There is some PDA coach I was looking at, reading her stuff, until I realized she just lets her kid on screens all day every day. That feels kind of like giving up to me, and I believe screens are the worst thing that ever happened to my family. I am forever regretful of letting a single smartphone, ipad, Switch or gaming PC into this house. I know I'm unlikely to find anti-screen allies on Reddit of all places, but...worth a shot. Are there approaches to PDA that allow you to maintain firm screen limits and have healthy expectations for a child in terms of schoolwork, hygiene, chores, employment? Or am I in denial about what living with PDA can look like?
Again, I'm sure I've offended lots of people with my post and word choices and anti-screen mentality. Mental health spaces are hard for me to navigate deftly. I'm sorry.

I've been teaching at a Montessori school for the past few months. The little ones (preschool and kindergarten) are easy for me, but the elementary levels are throwing me off. Right now I have a mixed-age class of first, second, and third grade.
For one thing, my brain is so wired to make first grade basically a continuation of kindergarten, but I can't really get away with doing the kindergarten music when there are also third graders in the room. I tried this for the first lesson, thinking I'd picked a not-too-babyish song as a sort of ice breaker, but the third graders straight up laughed at me! And vice versa: we're doing instrument families right now and the first graders are just not getting stuff as quickly as the third graders.
It feels a bit like a lose-lose situation. I've only been able to get in contact with one other montessori music teacher and he said he struggles (still! After years!) of the mixed age. He said he has them sit in tables with mixed ages so the older kids can help the younger ones, and he gears the classes towards the older kids. But he also seems to mainly have them do written work, which is not something I've ever done in my music lessons. Occasionally I have a worksheet or composition project or something, but for the most part I want the kids making music. I've had them doing boomwhacker stuff and a lot of percussion so far, but it's all getting really stale. Most of them don't enjoy singing or dancing at all, even when I choose songs that they specifically like.
Anyway, any insight would be appreciated. I think as I am at this school longer, I will slowly be filtering in the younger kids into the older class and they will be more inclined to singing and dancing. But for now!! I still have these third graders who are just wayyy too cool for me lol

I've been teaching at a Montessori school for the past few months. The little ones (preschool and kindergarten) are easy for me, but the elementary levels are throwing me off. Right now I have a mixed-age class of first, second, and third grade.
For one thing, my brain is so wired to make first grade basically a continuation of kindergarten, but I can't really get away with doing the kindergarten music when there are also third graders in the room. I tried this for the first lesson, thinking I'd picked a not-too-babyish song as a sort of ice breaker, but the third graders straight up laughed at me! And vice versa: we're doing instrument families right now and the first graders are just not getting stuff as quickly as the third graders.
It feels a bit like a lose-lose situation. I've only been able to get in contact with one other montessori music teacher and he said he struggles (still! After years!) of the mixed age. He said he has them sit in tables with mixed ages so the older kids can help the younger ones, and he gears the classes towards the older kids. But he also seems to mainly have them do written work, which is not something I've ever done in my music lessons. Occasionally I have a worksheet or composition project or something, but for the most part I want the kids making music. I've had them doing boomwhacker stuff and a lot of percussion so far, but it's all getting really stale. Most of them don't enjoy singing or dancing at all, even when I choose songs that they specifically like.
Anyway, any insight would be appreciated. I think as I am at this school longer, I will slowly be filtering in the younger kids into the older class and they will be more inclined to singing and dancing. But for now!! I still have these third graders who are just wayyy too cool for me lol

My daughter goes to a public alternative Montessori school. We are really considering switching her from her current awful class to either another k-2 class or up to the 3-5 class with her teacher from last year (whom we love but who moved up a grade this year)
My daughter reads at a 7th grade level and her math is somewhere around fourth grade. She's not emotionally mature, probably a pretty typical second grader in the regard. She tends to find friends who want to "protect" her and she's a bit anxious/sensitive and shy.
I had toyed with the idea of moving her up before, but now I feel like if we have to move her anyway does it make sense to disrupt her for a lateral move? My hesitation for pushing her up a grade are a few- selfishly that means she'd be done with high school earlier and that makes my momma's heart anxious, but also then some of her classmates would be fifth graders! I don't know how she'd fit in as she is a pretty emotional second grader...
She's identified as gifted in our district but it's a joke. We started supplementing at home and the sixth grade reading material was too easy (didn't want to jump in too deep at first) and she's coming home with "words that rhyme with "at" worksheets...
Pros, cons and opinions?

Hey! My son just started kindergarten and he’s bringing home a TON of worksheets. He missed some days and the amount of worksheets they send for make up 🤯 we came from Montessori and I almost kept him in or homeschooled but was reassured by people telling me school isn’t as worksheet heavy anymore. Any kindergarten teachers here to help with context?
Thanks!

My daughter's 7, diagnosed when she was 5. I'm a Montessori teacher and kept her with me through kindergarten through a little in-home program that I run. In those 6 years I was caring for and teaching her, she was happy every single day, no behavioral issues, well-rested, loved playing and conversing. Basically, she was thriving.
Then she started 1st grade in a public school last year, and while she seemed happy, there was an uptick in behavioral challenges. Every day she'd wake up excited to go to school and be with her friends. She'd speak positively of her teachers, especially her homeroom teacher, but as the year went on I noticed she'd be crankier at home, tired, and increase in executive dysfunction. Her teacher would also talk to me almost daily about how disruptive she was, and how she wouldn't get her work done in the afternoons.
I really wasn't sure what to make of it -- her teacher mentioned this was all developmentally appropriate, but we've been home on summer break for 2 weeks and it's like I have my old kid again. Happy every day, cheerful, responsive when I speak to her. She mentioned missing school once or twice, but otherwise hasn't talk about it at all. I know the reasons why: there's no rush to get up and ready for school in the mornings, 20 min lunches at school vs. 1-2 hour lunches at home, more freedom to just play and run around outside for as long as she likes, no repetitive worksheets every day, freedom to choose what she wants to do.
I'm thinking about homeschooling her, but I don't have the training to teach school-aged children, which is why I'm asking about your experiences. If you were homeschooled, did you feel like your parents/caregivers/guardians did a good job educating you? Did you feel like you received appropriate levels of socialization (if that's something that's important to you)? If you homeschool(ed) your children, did you have a curriculum that you relied on?

Starthur wanted to share with you a worksheet to help practice addition. The file with the worksheet (and its solution) is free to download and you can also share it with your friends.
You can find the worksheet and its solution here:
https://shapeshire.com/starting-point-worksheet-02-addition-0-9/
#activitysheets #FreeDownload #homeschool #homeschooling #momlife #learning #geometry #shapeshireshorts #learningisfun #learningathome #shapesandcolors #kidsbooks #kidbooks #montessori #preschool #homeschoolmom #teachersofinstagram #montessoriathome #homeschoollife #earlylearning #parenting #kids #education #homeeducation #homeschoolers #teacher #childhoodunplugged

Starthur wanted to share with you a worksheet to help practice addition. The file with the worksheet (and its solution) is free to download and you can also share it with your friends.
You can find the worksheet and its solution here:
https://shapeshire.com/starting-point-worksheet-01-addition-0-9/
#activitysheets #FreeDownload #homeschool #homeschooling #momlife #learning #geometry #shapeshireshorts #learningisfun #learningathome #shapesandcolors #kidsbooks #kidbooks #montessori #preschool #homeschoolmom #teachersofinstagram #montessoriathome #homeschoollife #earlylearning #parenting #kids #education #homeeducation #homeschoolers #teacher #childhoodunplugged

My child learned how to write most of her letters and phonics age 3 (Montessori). Age 4, she went to a different school (public) where they encouraged her to just write capitals instead of lowercase if she didn’t know how to do the lowercase perfectly. She also regressed her phonics knowledge (she previously knew g was guh but by the of year was saying g was juh) and made no progress in phonemic awareness. They kept telling me she was progressing but she couldn’t even identify the difference between “a” and “the” as sight words. Age 5, she is in a French immersion program, and she has made some progress with phonics again and phonemic awareness but is still very basic (beginning of word only, not middle or end so sounding words out is not there).
Today, she was writing her valentine’s card and I realized she couldn’t write about 10 letters correctly (mix of capitals and lowercase).
We read to her multiple books both in English and French every day, practice writing letters a few times a week, and do apps and worksheets at home for practicing phonics and phonemic awareness.
I’m just so sad and frustrated that she has regressed so much and not made progress after 2 years. Sorry, I know there’s no magic answer here, I’m just ranting.