of being attracted to super smart women who are too busy, awkward or overworked to go out often. though I'm not smart, just a dyke with too many silly hobbies to leave her house much as well.
i may be depressed or feeling the sunday scaries too much rn but i was thinking i might never meet many of my supposed soulmates bc of how we are built, so separated and alienated as a ahm.. society. i tried dating apps for a few years and only met very confused ppl there, not looking to go back soon. i also met a few random ppl from anon places like here and lex, which ended up being either the most unhinged or interesting and smart ppl i met recently.
which brings me to the point. as the prophecy foretold, what started as a vent shall irredeemably turn into hornyposting. dyke4dyke 25+ in the montreal area hmu. send me ur worst pickup line or ur letterboxd @. i might take you out if you're not trying to catfish me. and as a chronically online person you should know I'm obviously also a trained detective, so please don't bother if that's the intention. men, please don't engage - no this is not an invitation to go and send me a dm asking if u the exception but ur mom seems to think u are so ask her again instead. happy pride to all and stream brat by charli xcx

CW: This diary contains sensitive topics such as alcohol issues, disordered eating, weight issues, and mental health challenges
📈 Section One: Assets and Debt
I live at home and have done so since I graduated college which puts me in a much better financial position than I would have been in otherwise. Just want to be upfront about that.
Retirement Balance: I have $12.5k in my 401k and $3.5k in my Roth IRA
HSA: $5k
Taxable brokerage: $3.5k all in VTWAX
Home Equity: Nada
Savings account: I have $17k in my emergency fund and $1k in a separate sinking fund for travel
Checking account balance: $650 at this time
Credit card debt: Currently $135 but I pay off my card every week or so
Student loan debt: I borrowed $33k for a Philosophy, Politics, and Economics (PPE) degree from an Ivy League university. It's down to $15k right now. I specified that it was an Ivy League school because I want to use this moment to say that I did not have a great experience and I do not think it was worth it. For the vast majority of people, especially those who are middle class and can't afford it without debt but also won't qualify for need-based aid, I would actually advise against attending one unless you're targeting specific, highly competitive post-grad roles such as investment banking, management consulting, or big tech. For everyone else, I recommend going to your state school and picking a major with good ROI. Sometimes what glitters is gold, but most times it's just fucking glitter. Ok I'll get off my soapbox now.
💰 Section Two: Income
Income Progression:

• Job 1: Media Monitor at a political consulting firm making $50k, then I got laid off
• Job 2: Marketing Coordinator at a nonprofit making $45k. I jumped ship after 6 months. I'm committed to the cause but not that committed.
• Job 3: Account Executive at an ad agency making $60k, then I got a promotion to Senior Account Executive which puts me at $70k

Main Job Monthly Take Home: $4,065 after taxes, 401k, HSA, and insurance. No side gigs.
💸 Section Three: Monthly Expenses
Housekeeper: $200 + $50 tip. I don't pay rent or utilities so I figure this is the least I can do.
Transportation: $100
Groceries: $300
Student Loans: $500
Savings: $1,000 which is split between my emergency fund and my travel fund. Down the line, I want to save to pay off my student loans and maybe put away some cash for a downpayment.
Roth IRA: $250
Taxable brokerage: $100
Therapy: $180
Gym + HIIT Classes: $125
Spin Class Package: $80 for 5 classes
Spotify: $12
I use my parents' Netflix and I bought every season of Brooklyn 99 as a birthday present to myself two years ago, which I rewatch regularly.
✨ Section Four: Money Diary
Monday: Anxiety wakes me up around 4am but I stay in bed until my alarm goes off at 4:45am and I get ready for the gym. Today is leg day, which is not my favorite, but I'm still excited to exercise. The gym is my safe space in a lot of ways.
After my workout, I shower at the gym, get to the office, and eat my packed green yogurt and granola. It's a pretty chill day, all things considered. No client calls, which is a blessing. I just prepare a few proposals to sell in additional projects and prepare a scope of work. At some point, I eat my packed pasta for lunch. Surprisingly, I'm done at six.
When I get home, I see that we have white wine in the fridge, and force myself not to have any. Instead, I grab my prepped rice, ground beef, and veggies meal and pop it in the microwave. I have a problem with binge eating (and drinking) so I try as much as possible to stick to what I meal prep.
After dinner, I pack my gym bag for tomorrow and watch an episode of Brooklyn 99 before going to bed.
Tuesday: Same deal as yesterday: wake up too early, lie in bed worrying about nothing until my alarm goes off, and head to the gym for a much needed mental health break. Today is upper body day which is my fave! I'm able to bench 65 pounds which makes me really happy and proud of myself. I know it's objectively not much weight, but when I first started, I was barely able to bench the bar.
I shower after my workout, get to the office, eat my greek yogurt and granola, and get to work. An RFP came in so getting everything sorted for the proposal takes up much of my day. We also have a creative review with our client, which does not go well. Towards the end of the day, we get a very angry email from said client so my boss and I hop on a call to talk her down.
On the way home, I think about my career choices. My friends in investment banking are equally miserable but at least they're well compensated for their misery. For dinner, I eat the lunch I was supposed to eat at work plus my dinner. Oops.
Wednesday: Leg day again. I feel much better after working out but it only lasts until I get to the office. It's one of those days when everyone is mad at you. The client is mad because they don't like the creative, the creative team is mad because they don't feel like you stood up for them enough, your boss is mad because they're stressed, and you're mad because of...everything.
I go on a lunch walk and pass a wine bar. I manage to not get a drink but I do end up at a Shake Shack where I emotionally eat until I feel sick which obviously does not help things ($26). I spend the rest of the work day putting out fires and trying not to cry. I repeat to myself that it's just advertising: no one's going to die.
After work, I head to my therapist's office and spend the first five minutes of the session just crying. Then we talk about things, do some EMDR work, and some somatic exercises ($45).
When I get home, I eat my lunch for dinner, even though I'm still pretty full. Before bed, I talk to a friend on the phone. She asks about how work is going and I keep things vague because she just got laid off and I feel like it's insensitive to complain about work to someone who just got fired.
Thursday: I wake up anxious but determined to not have a shitty day. I go to the gym, do my upper body workout, and hit a PR for an overhead press (only 55 pounds but I'm still proud). It's so lame but I feel really blessed to have this time to just be in my body, listen to Sza, and not think of anything in particular.
Today is a wfh day so I shower at home and eat breakfast with my mom. She casts a judgmental glance at my yogurt bowl and says I could probably eat half of it and save the rest for lunch. My therapist tells me to "grey rock" my mom in these situations so I ignore her and put my headphones on but it still hurts my feelings, especially because I calculated the macros for that meal (and all my meals) almost exactly and have been losing weight at a slow and healthy pace.
Work is only mildly stressful instead of extremely stressful and for that I am grateful. I even have time to eat my lunch.
After work, I catch up with a former boss of mine who works as a creative lead at a beauty brand now. I get over myself and let him know I'm looking for a new opportunity and he immediately puts me in their referral system.
After the call, when I'm eating dinner, I tear up a little thinking about that interaction. I sometimes have a hard time believing that people like me and have my back so it a nice reminder. I savor the moment.
Friday: For once I'm woken up by my alarm. I head to the gym for my HIIT bootcamp class and hang out with the coach and other attendees for a little while after. On the way home I think about how much easier that class was than when I first started. I think about how I'm on a first-name basis with people there, who seem excited to see me and even save me a spot when they know I'm coming. Another nice moment I savor.
It's Friday and a wfh day, so work is pretty chill. I have a virtual coffee chat with a coworker who also hates it here and is trying to leave advertising which is always cathartic. Then I have a 1:1 with my boss which goes surprisingly well. She says some very nice things which embarrassingly makes me tear up a little. I eat my breakfast for lunch and my lunch as a snack a couple of hours later.
That evening, my dad and I go on a walk which is nice. Then we have dinner and I go to my room. I start reading Exciting Times by Naoise Dolan but I get bored, so I switch to Funny Story by Emily Henry instead, which I enjoy much more.
My mom comes into my room and vents about the job interview she just had, which did not go well. I reassure her that it's just a tough market but tell her that her feelings are valid, and hold her hand as she cries a little. It's been a tough year for her. I hope she finds something soon.
Saturday: I "sleep in" until 5:30am, then keep reading Funny Story until my alarm goes off at 6:45am. Then I get ready for spin class.
I randomly run into my friend at the studio which makes me so happy! The class is tough but fun. I feel relief from my brain for a good 45 minutes, which is always welcome. After the class, we walk to a breakfast place nearby and catch up ($18). She takes a picture of me to post to her Instagram story which makes me nervous because I don't usually like how I look in pictures but I actually look pretty good.
After our hangout, I go grocery shopping and head home ($80). My mom is in the kitchen when I get back and she helps me put my groceries away. I tell her that I ran into my friend and show her the picture. She says I look lovely which is a really nice feeling because as pathetic as it is, I still care what she thinks about my appearance.
I take a shower, take a nap, and go to the kitchen to meal prep when I wake up. My mom comes in to grab a snack and jiggles my belly fat then shakes her head at me disapprovingly as she walks by. I do what my therapist and I practice: which is nothing. No reaction, no acknowledgement, even as she lingers, expecting me to say something. I just keep chopping my bell peppers.
Later that night though, I let myself feel pissed. Usually, I make excuses for her. She came of age during the height of diet culture. She was a pageant queen and that environment really messed her up in some ways. I did gain 60 pounds during the height of my binge eating and drinking struggle. She's much meaner to herself than she is to me. All of which are true, but none of it makes it right. Acknowledging that actually makes me feel a tiny bit better.
Sunday: I wake up pissed and anxious, but Sunday is a rest day so I unfortunately can't work out to get it out of my system. I go on a walk but it doesn't help much.
So I just take a shower and read my novel until I finish it. It's 2pm by the time I'm done and I feel hungry, but I don't want to go downstairs and be around my mom right now. My stomach grumbles so I suck it up. She gives me a small smile when she sees me but I ignore her, grab an apple, and leave. She looks hurt but oh well.
Back in my room, I open my spreadsheets and look at how my financial goals are progressing. Only 3-4 years until my major milestones are reached and I'll feel secure enough to move out. I remind myself that this is what it's all for. If I can delay gratification now, I can put myself in a secure position and set myself up well for the future. Deal with her shit now so I won't have to deal with it later. I can do this.
Before bed, I write up this MD as my laundry runs, then pack my gym bag for tomorrow, and post.
Weekly Total: $169
☁️ Reflection: This ended up being a slightly depressing journal entry more than anything else but I still found it really helpful. I'm really surprised by how low my spend was, compared to this time last year. I was spending at least $300 a week on food and alcohol (and weed). It's also interesting to see how far I've progressed in terms of using the healthy coping skills I've learned.
I considered taking some of the heavier stuff out but I feel like my mental health stuff gives context to my financial habits. Anyway, it was a tough week but I got through it relatively ok. That's a win!

I'll start off with I once worked at an animal hospital as a vet assistant. I sadly had to leave that job cause my health has decreased and the workload ended up hospitalizing me nearly every 3 months. I got rehired at my old job working retail that I had from 18-21 as I was still on friendly terms with the manager, in the meantime while I look for something less manual laboon my feet 24/7 that's more stable.
I was reminded yet again today why I hate working with the public unlike my previous job where I was mostly in the back and everyone knew about my CF and didn't make me feel abnormal. While working I was having a flare up and started coughing and just spit my phlegm in the trash can and my coworkers understand. While I try to spit in the back away from the public sometimes I can't hold it in and have to spit in the front.
While doing so there were a few customers in and I was just hunkered down and didn't really think anyone could see me (though yes I'm sure they heard me..) this was going on for about an hour at this point. But then I just tried to go back to doing stuff normally. I was having a conversation when one woman walked up to my coworker and I and said "I was planning on leaving." And gave me a look and I didn't pick up on it at first and then she looked at my other coworker finishing with "But then this song came on so I guess I'll stay."
About 5 minutes later I was coughing into my hoodie arm no phlegm coming up while fixing plushies and this woman's teen son walked to the register so I walked up, for him to say "Sorry I'm h I'm not ready." I said that was fine cause there were no other customers in line and walked away back to what I was doing and he stood there till his mom came to the register with my coworker. I thought oh he's waiting on his mom, that makes sense.
After they check out and leave my coworker starts talking to two other coworkers and it looked like some drama went down. I'm not gonna lie I wanted to hear. I walked over and my coworker goes "Yeah they asked me if she was contagious." My mind went "WTF!?" They then look at me and proceeded to explain. The woman went and specifically got one of my other coworkers to ring her son and her out. While ringing out asked "I saw that girl spitting into the trash, is she contagious?" My coworker said "No she has lung problems." The woman then said "Oh well I was asking cause if she is I was gonna ask to be rung out right away." So the woman earlier had said essentially she wanted to leave cause of me and I was just then realizing along with the fact that she didn't want me ringing her out.
This is not the first time someone has said stuff like this or better yet given me THE LOOK. But those are stories for another time.

I (20F) had a situationship with this girl (21F) who was a coworker. We can call her T. At the start of the relationship, she basically lovebombed me with expensive dates and spending time with me for days in a row. She was overly affectionate and articulated her words in a very poetic manner.
She ghosted me 3 times. The first time, it was because I deserved someone "who could give me the world". The second time, was because of "self-sabotage" (she felt llike she didn't deserve someone good in her life). The third time, I began trying to see other people to get over her since I really wanted to be her friend without making it complicated with the romantic aspects of it. She didn't make it clear if she wanted a relationship but then would overstep boundaries continuously even when we were just friends. For example, she would invite me over to her house for sleepovers and then cuddle me in the middle of the night while she was fully awake and I was sleeping. Anyway, once she found out I was seeing other people (I was open about this) she got very passive aggressive. In short, she didn't want to be official but she also didn't want me seeing other people. I even stopped seeing these people for her but every time I'd cut them off, she would get cold and distant. Eventually, she stopped talking to me altogether and blocked me on everything. This was the same week that she didn't want to stop seeing each other and even held my hand and kissed my forehead a bunch of times. Even said she loved me and how she'll always be there for me.
A week flies by and she gets with a coworker of ours (Let's call her K). They've been together for about 2 months and T would only ever talk to me at work if K wasn't around. Toward the beginning of their relationship, there was one time T came in and kept staring at me, smiling, and getting near me on purpose WHILE she was with K. She told K about how we've never done anything and K explicitly told her, "If I find out you and her ever did anything together, it's over between us". T, to cover her tracks, says "We've made out one time but it's because she took advantage of me while I was drunk." She not only told her new girlfriend this, but also coworkers who were our mutual friends.
Ever since they started dating, she painted me to be this "obsessive" ex even though 1) we were never official and 2) I only ever reciprocated the energy she would give me. It's one thing to call be obsessive, and you could even regret being with someone. However, it's another to accuse me of sexually assaulting her while she was drunk. Especially because she was the one who initiated the kissing, the hugging, and even the sex. I would have told K the truth about everything that happened between me and T, but K basically hates for "assaulting" her girlfriend and sees me as that type of person. I have photos, videos, and messages to prove that neither of us did anything that one of us didn't consent to.
TLDR: An ex situationship, also a coworker, started seeing this girl and told her how we've never done anything and how I took advantage of her while she was drunk even though it's not true. I have photos and videos to prove everything was consensual between us and Im thinking of talking to the girl to prove myself innocent.
What do I do? I really want to tell the new girlfriend the truth, because that is not within my character to do something like that. That could also easily reach management.

Hello retail,
I'm facing a particularly challenging situation at work and could really use some guidance on how to handle it effectively. I work in a grocery store divided into four departments: cash registers, ready-to-eat, produce, and general grocery, which encompasses everything from soft drinks and ice cream to olive oils and canned goods. Although I'm not alone in the store, every Sunday, I'm solely responsible for the general grocery section, a role that can be quite overwhelming due to the typically low communication on Sundays.
I have a friend and coworker, "Ethan," whom I met back when I wasn’t at my best as an employee. Since then, I've made significant improvements in my performance, but this makes it tough to address his mistakes without feeling hypocritical. Ethan is a foreign student whose priorities often seem divided, adding complexity to the situation.
Sundays are particularly hectic. I frequently find myself correcting errors from the week, such as poor product rotations, that weren't properly addressed. Despite my attempts to implement solutions like clear labeling and pictograms to streamline processes, the issues persist. In frustration, I’ve documented these lapses and shared the videos with Ethan and the branch manager, trying to raise awareness without directly blaming anyone.
I'm also facing a bittersweet change. The department head is departing soon, and I will be taking over her responsibilities. This transition is saddening for me as I will be leaving my beloved produce department. I am deeply committed to ensuring that there are no disruptions in my current department before I move on, as I want to leave things running smoothly. This new role, especially when performed correctly (e.g., using fully loaded handling carts), is physically demanding.
I'm at my wit's end. How can I approach the situation with Ethan in a way that doesn't jeopardize his job while also trying to improve our operations? Additionally, any advice on how to discuss these challenges with the branch manager would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your input.

Sorry for the long introduction post. I am autistic and have no friends, I always suffered from intense loneliness, however, after downloading a multitude of language exchange apps, many Chinese women texted me, over 7 a day, before COV19 started I went to China they would only talk to me if I posted sexual content, we met and after sex there was no topic to talk about and they bored of me and I was lonely again.
During COV19 many looked out for me for many years I was lying down while talking to them, and slowly every single one of them left while harassing me, the people in the app became more demanding (as if they already had met many men and are now numb) so it became impossible to find a partner.
Not knowing what to do I started a cov19 journal, like, self-therapy, making videos of what happened, exposing chat records while keeping their privacy hidden, because I was lonely and everyone was gone. Like 'on this date, she texted me, and then she said this to me, and she cheated on me, then left', with over hundreds of chat records exposed of Chinese girls.
However, after 4 years alone, there was a glimmer of hope, it was winter vacation and I noticed I wasn't banned in hellotalk, every day 7 women chatted me up, and my depression lifted and I was very happy and not lonely at all!
Then SHE came. A random Chinesr woman said to me, what does the BIG mean in your profile? I say it means my penis is big. She said do you like BDSM? She gave me gifts and love bombed me, and we became a couple nearly immediately.
We started chatting up to 17 hours a day, because when I don't respond she sends me up to 20 messsges a day, but because she sends so many messages I do not get bored and we start to expose or deepest memories, philosophies, sexual fantasies, and opened up to each other. 99% of the women I met only chatted up to 1 hour a day but she can chat 17 hours which is very interesting.
After a month I went to China to meet her. My channel has only negative stuff about being used as a sexual toy then dumped so I asked my girlfriend if we could make a simple vlog of half a minute and upload and she said sure, I just wanted to show my fans that I made it back to China after 4 years and that I am the happiest ever because I really love this woman.
We can get along really well, mostly hugging in bed, talking, kissing, holding hands, eating and we are smiling and laughing all the time. Then comes a red flag; several old Chinese friends (female) greet me over several days and she sees their notifications; I didn't chat with those for 2 years or more they just noticed I am back in China and were curious. My girlfriend starts to cry for several hours and scream and say 'do not abandon me', 'do not abandon me', do not abandon me' which makes me think she has Borderline Personality Disorder. We make clear boundaries of what is possible or not and she says never hide chats from me, you can not talk to other women! I say this is extreme, I can have friends, I will not cheat.
After 2 weeks my Visa expires and suddenly the police catches on to me. Many Chinese friends scold me and say "I heard rumors that you have aids, slept with 7000 women, and are here to revenge them and transfer your illness, go back to your country, die!' I notice that, there suddenly are 100s of videos about me on Chinese websites slandering me and I cannot report them! The police interrogates me, and I prove them that they are all lies, and they let me to HIV test and I come off clean.
I rest in my country as the police says wait until you are no longer hot topic then come back.
Me and my girlfriend keep talking for 17 hours a day and it is a roller coaster, she scolds me one half of the day, breaking up, and love bombs me the other, sexual and loving, eventually she has to got to Xinjiang province, and has a small vacation, she invites me and we met again, she doesn't come pick me up at the station and I have to ask her for over an hour. As time progresses we kiss hug and smile again, (2 days) but her total vacation is a week and I am like, what do I do? I make a plans with another Chinese friends to travel around and when I tell my girlfriend this, she breaks down and goes in absolutely crazy rage! She packs her bags and leaves hotel and I chase her and she finally calms down and forgives me, and we eat, shower, make out, sleep. All is normal.
THEN THE MOST EXTREME STUFF HAPPENS. Over 20 police officers open the door and I scold them, I said I did nothing wrong! The girlfriend hugs me and cries and says control yourself, control yourself baby, they give me a deportation order for 5 years without giving any reason, only giving hints like 'Xinjiang is a sensitive place...' During this time my girlfriend and I are separated and I get treated like a sewer dog, they let me make a false statement otherwise I have to enter prison and pay full for a business class ticket home. They give me 60 days to appeal. My girlfriend meanwhile makes medicine for me (I caught a horrible flu in plane, took me 1 month of amoxilin to cure) and hugs me. I get deported, two police ride plane with me to Shanghai. I beg them to let me go to another Asian country and after 1 day they accepted.
Then I felt like everything was finished. I have no friends anymore nor can I use their apps because of the slandering, and I cant meet my girlfriend anymore.
Slowly, as hope fades, my girlfriend says I can go see you. I can ask for 3 day vacations several day a month and ride the plane for you. This costs me thousands of dollar but we go to many places and beaches with clear water, swim together, every time we meet at airport we cry, we chat 17 hours a day, mostly quarreling.
Meanwhile she is extremely sexual, and during times we are together we do it for 5 hours a day, but when she leaves we cannot meet so I send her porn at her request so she can get off (all porn sites are banned in China). She says stuff like she wants me to fuck a whore and take a video, she wants to meet other foreigners with big cocks, but then another Chinese girl (platonic, pure relationship) comes to see me, we know each other 5 years, my girlfriend says you cannot meet, so the other girl is my responsibility. I said to my girlfriend you want me to do crazy sexual stuff with whores but won't let me normally travel with my friend? We quarrel so hard she scolds me 2929292102039392039 in a single day to the point I tremble in fear, I say whats wrong? You can only meet me few days every month, the other days I travel with my friend.
Also important note; I cheated 0 times or touched any other person 0 times in during our relationship.
After some time, my girlfriend comes again, and when I am in the toilet she unlocks my phone (I never told her password) and she screams hard, for 6 hours throwing stuff at me, going absolutely crazy. She says why do you talk about me to other people? Which makes me slowly think she is narcisstistic. I say you are my life the past months, what else is there to talk about? She lets me delete all female friends (but I backup so if gf leaves I can restore).
She goes back to China and the other friend says help me you made me go to your country, i have no money, help. My girlfriend says dont help her or response, let her die. But i secretly help and we meet during day time chatting at the beach and she finds boyfriend and they live together and all is good.
I finished writing my appeal, and went to Hong kong, my gf says she will never ride plane again, and stopped sexual stuff, and also refuses sex completely, and I say you wont let me meet other girls, wont let me sleep with prostitutes also wont let me sleep with you, what to do? She says none of my business. Meanwhile the appeal arrives too late (dont know if Chinese immigration will accept it). In hong kong our relationship restores and she accepts to do it once. We hug once again, we kiss again, the intense bliss is back. However i am running out of money so i ask her next time meet in my country again (another country in SE) because in hk i spent 1000 euro for a week, but in se country I spent like 1000 in a month. She says no plane for me.
Then suddenly she says hurtful things like, you wanted to see me, so you gotta pay for it. As if she never wanted to see me, she saw me just to satisfy my needs, so I should pay cash for it, cause she feels like meeting me is like a job. She wants her own freedom, after that she went to china and one week just lying down complaining about insomnia. I have insomnia too. However when we are together she sleeps 11 hrs a day and i can sleep 7 hrs too. I say when you were horny and only 3 days off you would see me but now you got weeks off and you dont want to see me? Then she says she will go working to buy a new mobile phone and I say do not wish you to work, Chinese salary is low I can pay you (couple hundred of bucks) for a month. She refuses. So practically a year is 365 days and she can only spent 5 to 7% with me, and the rest of the days I rot in bed, cant meet other people, cant have sex, cant do nothing. Then after a big intense fight she proposed: you can sleep with whores but I will not sleep with you again or marry you. I said you are patriotic you wont marry a foreigner and I am banned from your country + you already reject sex. I really miss her because I literally have nobody, no family, one friend she scared away, really nobody. But in SE country prostitutes constantly chat up with me, they will sleep overnight for money, I wont be lonely anymore. But I dont want to end this relationship because decided to pursue masters (she just graduated) and abandon me for 3 years. I dont know what to do.

I didn’t even know what was going on met this wonderful woman 3 years ago and we were just friends at first. We talked for hours a day and texted all hours of the morning. I was so happy to find someone that’s got a sense of humor like mine, had so many things in common, and pretty much were so alike I thought she was a female me.
We met at a meeting for the company she worked for and I was starting to work at the company. It was so fun and I’ve never felt so relaxed with someone. We snuck out of the meeting and went for a walk while the meeting went on. We wound up in her car and it got hot and heavy quick. We both got our fortune cookies that night.
She had to travel for her work and asked me to watch her house that summer. So I did, and while she was gone I pretty much cleaned her whole house, not that it really needed much cleaning or to get brownie points. I just wanted her to come home to a clean house. She came home that weekend (she was gone for a week) and was completely shocked that her house got tidied up. She was so happy I did that. She invited me to stay a couple nights and I stayed the week.
She asked me to go home at the end of the week so I was like sure I don’t want to over stay my welcome. Of course we talked all the time the next few days and she was missing my company so much that she asked me back a day later.
Two days later I was moving in and making a good life with her. It was good for a while and we loved each other so much just being in the room together was intoxicating.
Until 3 weeks ago. She said that we were drifting apart and she didn’t think the relationship would be going anywhere further. We talked and said we would try to fix things. A day later she told me I had to move out. So I was like okay.
I was shocked and overwhelmed with what had happened that I didn’t care she wanted away from me I believed that if she needs room give her space. Wrong move. She was taking to a dude on the side and was falling for him. I found out because I was the phone bill owner on both our phones. I confronted her about dude and she said it was just talk and she didn’t want anything from him. She told me I had to find a place of my own and she would help me find a new place to live and help me with furnishings and so on.
The very next day she told me I needed to leave and she wasn’t going to help me. I was like WTF why the change of heart? I found out from a friend she banged the dude the night she told me she would help me.
Today as I write this I am living in my dad’s one room apartment. My life is totally ruined and I am devastatingly destroyed. So yes I did woo her, and yes I regret it all the way.

I suspected my husband was having an affair with his coworker as they were talking a lot and he was always going out to lunch with her. This past weekend his company had an event and we were invited (my children and I). She also came. Turns out my husband went to her room before coming back for the night and slept with her. The only reason I know is because another coworker saw him enter the room. If the coworker didn’t tell me, I would’ve had no idea. He literally slept with her and came to bed with me and my kids after like nothing happened. Is it me or is this just crossing a line you shouldn’t be? I mean cheating on me is crossing the line but this is a new low.

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I (23F) have been working in a secretarial position at an insurance agency for about 8 months now. To say I’m unhappy in my position is an understatement.
My boss at my current job is terrible to say the least. She was fantastic at first. Very easy to get along with, happy to answer any question I had, etc. But within the last 4 months, she’s started treating me like shit. She’s made horrible remarks to and about me, she’s hard on me for no reason, she’s gets pissed when I ask her questions, etc. She loves intimidating me. She loves making me feel small and making me feel disposable. It almost feels like she takes her anger and frustration out on me. Within the first day my new coworker was in the office, she said “(boss) treats you like shit. Why are you still here? Why do you put up with it?” Not to mention the fact that I’m working for an embarrassingly small amount of money. I get paid $10/hr. I work 40hrs/week. I do not make enough money to survive on my own. The maximum I will ever make in this position at this agency is $12. To get that raise, I have to get my insurance producers licenses, which require exams. My boss paid for the course and the exam fees, which we agreed to at the beginning of my employment.
That aside, I’ve been looking for a new position, and I was lucky enough to get poached. I was recommended to another agency, and they were interested in me. I will be doing the same job, but I’ll be making nearly twice as much money. My new boss has only had one stipulation - to get this position, I had to pass my exams and be ready to get my license when I came in. I passed my exams last week, and I am ready to get my license.
Now, here comes the hard part. I have to quit my current job. Despite the fact that my boss is shitty and the pay is terrible, I love what I do. I love the people I interact with daily. I love being able to help people and make their day better. It’s going to break me to have to sever those relationships. My concern is how my boss will react. My new boss wants me to work out a two weeks notice for my current boss (just so it looks better on me,) but I’m terrified of how she’ll react. I have no idea how to quit this job. I have a two weeks resignation written up, and I keep going over and over it. I mean, what am I even supposed to say? She JUST paid for my exam. I JUST passed. She’s planning on getting lunch for the office tomorrow to celebrate. When the Hell am I supposed to quit???? How do I quit??? What do I even say?? How the hell do I say “I hate you so much I can’t see straight, I have a job opportunity that will actually pay me, thanks for paying for my exams, peace out” to her face? I feel so dirty for what I’m doing. Nobody knows about this.
I am so lost and so anxious. I’ve been losing sleep. I barely have an appetite. I cry constantly. I feel so guilty for doing this behind her back and leaving, but I know I have to. How do I go about this with grace???? I’m so scared that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. Any advice is appreciated, but mainly just needed to get this out.

I ‚work‘ in a student organisation. This organisation has about 60 people working or volunteering. Together with three other people we are the managers. I thought the others liked me and we were friends. They were at my birthday party and at my place at least once and one of them even looked after my cats while I was one vacation (he was paid). I assumed we were in good terms. I am also the oldest out of us four by about three years to the next oldest and older by about 8 years from the youngest. I just found out through social media that the one closest to my age celebrated his birthday at our party venue at work. Everybody was invited. Everybody from work and our political activities except me. He knows that I know he is having this party. I am beyond hurt and I don’t know how to react or behave. We will have to work together at least three more weeks. We all work together in a small office room and I can’t avoid him or the other two at all. I probably will have to work with some of them even after that. I can’t take a sick leave because there are important and unskippable meetings this week and the rest of the month where I can’t be substituted. I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to make things awkward. I honestly only have two friends and I am barely able to keep them.
How am I supposed to act the next three weeks? I know I am no fun at all but still would have loved to get an invitation and would have gotten him a present. I just feel even more like an outcast and I can’t stop crying. I know I am not likable and awkward at the best of times but still I feel terrible. I think I should maybe quit or just pretend to be always busy? I dont want to make him feel bad or awkward. I just thought we were friends because we always talk, rant and joke about stuff. Since the other two also didn’t tell me I am assuming they also feel the same about me. I could try to work from home but I would still have to go into the office at least for our weekly meetings and the other important meetings. I honestly feel like a fool. I was an idiot. My heart hurts.

I trusted the wrong person at work, someone I thought was a friend and a mental health advocate. A big lesson for me was not to trust co-workers too easily. I confided in this person about my plans to leave the job due to the intense anxiety and stress caused by a toxic manager who host monthly meetings to review all tiny errors in front of everyone. I also mentioned my plans to start a business with this coworker and the stress leave.
The job’s stress was overwhelming, if it wasn't I wouldn't had seek out. I decided to see a psychiatrist for a stress leave doctor's note since I was not okay for awhile. I shared this with my colleague because this person had done it before. Later, this individual asked me how my business plans were going, and I casually replied that I was working on it all day everyday, which was an exaggeration. There is currently no actual business and it is just in the talks.
I contacted HR about submitting a short-term disability claim which they keep records, and a week later, I was fired for misconduct. I suspect my colleague reported me, ensuring I get fired before I could go on stress leave. After 3 years at the company, I had both mental and physical health issues. I heard some pretty wild inappropriate things my ex coworkers had told me about the manager which made me scared of him. Additionally, the manager had openly told me he was transphobic, made me uncomfortable, especially since my god-brother is a trans woman. This company is a big support on LGBTQI+.
Although I had performance issues a few months prior due to long covid symptoms, I improved after being threatened with losing work privileges just before a vacation - it ruined my vacation because I did care about my job. Despite my improvements, the manager continued to accuse me of missing meetings on my days off. I received only two weeks' pay in lieu and a month of severance.
I consulted a lawyer who advised that the misconduct accusation was hard to prove and that I had a strong case. There were inconsistencies in the termination contract since there was no cause mentioned, and HR later confirmed also it was without cause. I have evidence of my intended stress leave from a nurse practitioner and was referred to a psychiatrist. The lawyer recommended asking for six months of pay, minimum $20,000, a reference letter, and an extension of health benefits for another six months. This aggressive approach seemed excessive, but the lawyer insisted I had a strong case and regardless, doesn't hurt to try. I was told large corporations rarely take such cases to court for minor misconduct, they don't want to go public, and judges don't like to waste time on something so small and would get mad at the companies for not settling with the dollar amount.
Now, I’m wondering if I should proceed with legal action or move on. I have no plans to return to this industry or work with these people again. I am also not sure if the lawyer is lacking experience.

My partner has been getting physical symptoms of anxiety that started off with a panic attack after I brought up a problem. This has led to him telling me that certain subtle things I do can/have stressed him out/made his anxiety feel worse. In our first year together I used to bring up problems whenever I was overthinking alot and it caused him to feel anxious and scared whenever I was like o I need to talk about something. I’ve more or less recently stopped bringing up problems like this because I don’t want to further traumatise him but I think the most recent problem I had tipped the iceberg.
I don’t want to go into details about what these problems were but tldr had to do with communication and expectations.
He told me his mum told him to not talk to me for awhile and now I’m scared 1) because he was saying that he wants to invite me sometime but I’ve already got a bad impression and 2) the thought of us taking a break or just leading to breakup is scaring me. This is our only major problem - we are happy in our relationship despite his growing anxiety.
I have been feeling quite guilty and I’m just scared because I genuinely think we can work through this together and also encourage him to seek help however the idea that we need a break is starting to daunt on me that maybe it is necessary for him to heal.
Any advice or thoughts?
Tldr: I caused my partner to develop anxiety and am scared that it might be best for me to leave him
Also; I would greatly appreciate it if this did not end up on a tiktok or insta reel thank you
Update: I originally posted this without the relevant details so it didn’t post. There’s been a lot of update on this situation that needs more unpacking. Context : I’ve been dating them for 2 years now.

At work, work in retail as a cashier. Just had a teenage girl with her mother take a picture of me, without my knowledge, as I was ringing up their stuff. The girl was giggling as they was leaving. After they left my coworker that was working the register beside mine said "hey, I'm not sure if you noticed but that girl took a picture of you." He didn't say anything while they was still there cause he didn't want it to cause a scene or for me to get embarrassed.

The North

Shortly after her arrival in the Kingswood, the Whitemane meets with Aelor Balaerys. After a short, clandestine meeting, Aelor proposes the two wed.
https://www.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/s/yk5zbsvomI
On the journey to King’s Landing, the Cannibal stirs. He attacks Vhagar in the dead of night; Only relenting when Queen Rhaenys breaks up the fight atop Meraxes.
https://www.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/s/Mrrpnp0azx

The Vale

Lord Ronnel Arryn denounces Orys Baratheon, and declares the Vale’s intent to crown Prince Laenor. Numerous spies attempt to infiltrate the Vale camp, including Dragonlord Aelor Belaerys, and spies who allegedly were carrying knives, and claiming to belong to the Bank of the Seven and Lucifer Adaron. Ronnel Arryn leads a charge to arrest the banker, culminating in a tense confrontation with the High Septon himself.
Meanwhile, the Lady of the Eyrie enjoys her peaceful tent, her son, and the visitors who come by.
Queen Visenya Targaryen lops off the hand of Ser Raynald Reyne as punishment for his dangerous and slanderous words. Marsella Egen makes her return to the Seven Kingdoms for the first time in half a decade, reuniting with her old friend Lae Targaryen and fist-fighting a Knight of the Kingsguard and her own commanding officer. Vhagar and the Cannibal duel in the skies, with the smaller beast pulling ahead before the fight's interruption.
The Vale finds great victory in the tourney, winning in all three categories. Tommen Templeton wins the Joust, Godric Royce—the Bronze Bull—wins the melee, and Nettie Royce in archery. Tommen Templeton names his late betrothed the Queen of Love and Beauty, the Lady Carolei Egen. The Vale celebrates it’s victories in a grand party hosted by Lord Willem Ryger, in The Shadowcat's Cradle.
After the tourney is concluded, Carolei Royce, the Commander of the Cavaliers makes an ask of the Queens—to allow women to be granted Knighthood. The tourney grounds erupt into arguments concluding in a fight between Aelora Belaerys and Mya Ryger. Ser Marq Grafton challenges Ser Aelor Belaerys to a duel of honour after a heated argument, disrespects the divine authority of the High Septon, and counsels Queen Visenya to not make a move for the throne yet.
Roland Arryn is mistaken for his Lordly brother by Helaena Targaryen, who believes she is now betrothed to the Lord of the Eyrie.
Queen Visenya Targaryen invites Ser Aelor Belaerys and Ser Marq Grafton to her office, with intent to get to the bottom of their contest.
During the Feast, Carolei Royce reveals to Lord Baelor Belaerys that her daughter Nettie’s father is unknown to her, and could possibly be his. Meanwhile, Lord Ryger shares an intimate dance and reunion with Queen Rhaenys.
Queen Visenya Targaryen interrupts the meeting of the Small Council, attending for the first time since the death of her husband.

The Crownlands and Riverlands

Within his office, Orys Baratheon considers the state of the realm https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cp73p6/orys_baratheon_prologue_a_reign_absent_fire/ in the eight years since King Aegon I’s death, as well as ruminating on the cost of the an upcoming grand hunt for the nobles of the realm to celebrate the nameday of his sons. A few years later after much planning and preparation, he leaves King’s Landing behind for the shores of Essos and the Free Cities.
Just one year after the Lord Protector’s departure, scores of nobles begin to arrive for yet another great hunt https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1ct1ei7/opening\_event\_so\_it\_begins/ held within the kingswood to celebrate the coming of age of the royal princes. The [steward of the Stormlands](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1ct1o7i/jon\_i\_ghosts\_of\_the\_past/) is among them, having brought a considerable host, and flying his banner above all those present.
[Queen Rhaenys darkens the skies over King’s Landing on the back of mighty Meraxes](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1ct3m8i/rhaenys\_i\_conquest\_with\_goblet\_and\_skirt/) with her sister in arms and lands at the Red Keep, spending some time upon the Iron Throne reminiscing what was lost. Another dragon materializes out of the sky, but her rider does not wear the black and the red of House Targaryen. The Golden Menace [causes quite a stir](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1ct489p/aelor\_i\_purple\_white\_and\_gold/) as she arrives to the campground at Greyhelm.
Someone (not naming any names) pisses on every single tent belonging to House Blackwood at the encampment, prompting them to outrage and [later insult Lord Bracken’s dead nephew](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d4i44y/theomar\_i\_unexpected\_meetings/). A retinue of [lordlings led by Aelor Belaerys approach the Wylde encampment to attempt to lower his banner](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cx33iw/aelor\_ii\_common\_cause\_brings\_us\_close) to a height befitting the station of his house. After a terse conversation, they are successful.
On the evening before the hunt, [a feast is held](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cu9cx5/thetent\_feast\_le\_abdollen/) within a gathering of enormous pavilions. Food was plenty, wine was flowing, and the party lasted well into the morning. While snooping around the tents, [Prince Aenar discovers Jon Westerling and Raynald Reyne making the most unsavory bets](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cwqpbw/aenar\_i\_judgement/) regarding the queens and has them arrested.
When asked to speak on the matter, Westerling tells the queens and Lord Lannister exactly what he thinks of the house of the dragon, after which he demands a trial by combat. [Aenar agrees, but instead he is dismembered and killed by Queen Rhaenys](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cwqpbw/aenar\_i\_judgement/l548uxd/) before being fed to her dragon. She then goes on to declare that any man who strikes a woman will be punished accordingly. Raynald Reyne begs for mercy, and is allowed to live but [loses his hand](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cwqpbw/aenar\_i\_judgement/l5fhj0q/) by Queen Visenya’s order.
At breakfast, the man once known as [the King Who Flew gives a fiery speech](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cujy4a/ronnel\_i\_truthfully\_i\_dont\_have\_a\_hating\_bone\_in/) on Orys Baratheon’s absence and the future of the realm, during which several spies are captured. While [the first dies at the hands of Godric Royce](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cujy4a/ronnel\_i\_truthfully\_i\_dont\_have\_a\_hating\_bone\_in/l4kbti5/) without revealing any information, the second admits to being hired by Lucifer Adaron, a banker tied to the Faith of the Seven. A knife is discovered on their person, and [Lord Ronnel summons a host of Valemen](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cyj5e9/ronnel\_ii\_cleansing\_of\_the\_temple/) to bring the banker to justice. He is defied by the High Septon, but leaves with his quarry nonetheless.
During the hunt, the white hart is felled by Dalton Stark, which marks the end of time spent in the forest for the lords and ladies of the realm. The tent city is exchanged for the streets of King’s Landing and the tournament grounds, where the Vale absolutely sweeps the competition. Tommen Templeton takes the joust, Nettie Royce the Archery, and the Bronze Bull dominates in the melee. Amidst the pomp, [Carolei Royce, Commander of the Cavaliers, beseeches the queens to allow women to be knighted](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d163nm/carolei\_i\_winner\_takes\_it\_all/). [
She is boo’ed by Aelor Belaerys,](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d163nm/carolei\_i\_winner\_takes\_it\_all/l5u8mju/) who turns away a challenge by Mya Ryger. The situation is resolved by Orys Frey, Aelor’s squire, whose bravery saves the day, but all is for naught as [Aelora Belaerys accepts the challenge](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d163nm/carolei\_i\_winner\_takes\_it\_all/l5xqyhk/) on her brother’s behalf. [Aelora and Mya duel at sunrise,](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d7g6ss/i\_we\_fight\_we\_fall/) with the Valewoman proving victorious.
At the [celebratory feast,](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d148mn/posttournament\_celebrations\_surely\_this\_can\_only/) Tommen Templeton names [Lady Carolei Egen as the Queen of Love and Beauty,](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d148mn/posttournament\_celebrations\_surely\_this\_can\_only/l5sg08k/)while [another Carolei](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d148mn/posttournament\_celebrations\_surely\_this\_can\_only/l6cv3r8/) brings her request for knighthood to the High Septon, who promises to consider her words.
Meanwhile, [Lord Lancel of House Lannister holds his own feast](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d5ergl/lancel\_i\_im\_gonna\_have\_my\_own\_feast\_with\_dice\_and/) in his manse in the city, which has been turned into a den of hedonism and debauchery with an abundance of wine and women of the night, as well as horde racing in the streets. [Queen Rhaenys arrives to shut it down](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d5ergl/lancel\_i\_im\_gonna\_have\_my\_own\_feast\_with\_dice\_and/l6l754y/)and hold Lancel responsible, after which he demands [a trial by combat](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d6nvhs/rhaenys\_ii\_the\_taming\_of\_lancel\_lanniste). Prince Aenar serves as his mother’s champion and defeats Jason Lannister, showing mercy by sparing his life.
Royce Rivers discovers that his father might possibly be Lord Willem Ryger, who [confirms as much](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1cy6rnb/royce\_i\_oh\_father\_where\_art\_thou/) and offers to have him legitimized. [Royce’s mother then visits Willem,](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d1ikyo/perra\_i\_a\_meal\_or\_a\_deal/) and he makes an unusual proposal amidst their lover’s quarrel.
[The Master of Ships convenes the Small Council](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1czb9hy/valarr\_i\_matters\_of\_state\_sea\_and\_land/) to speak about matters concerning succession and the realm at large. As talk begins to turn treasonous, the meeting is interrupted by the [arrival of the queens](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1czb9hy/valarr\_i\_matters\_of\_state\_sea\_and\_land/l5u9zkn/).
A few days after the feast, the lords yet in King’s Landing are [invited to the Royal Sept to bear witness to the first ever investiture of women](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d5u1k1/the\_will\_of\_the\_father\_passage\_of\_arms/) in the realm. Queen Visenya Targaryen and Carolei Royce are knighted by the High Septon, who then declares that all women may henceforth attain such rank as ordained by the gods.
[A fleet of hundreds of ships is spotted](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d6a5yj/valarr\_ii\_it\_should\_be\_silent\_before\_a\_storm/l6qyy89/?context=3) crossing the Narrow Sea, bearing the standard of House Baratheon, and panic sets in at King’s Landing. All is for naught, however, as [the Stag’s fleet is broken](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d8gu5a/orys\_ii\_storms\_end/?context=3) by sudden, violent winds.
Nevertheless, the lords of the Seven Kingdoms prepare to return home. [Lord Baelor Belaerys tells House Lannister that he will pay less taxes](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d7cahbaelor\_ii\_to\_return\_home/) and invites his peers to speak on the future of the Riverlands. [Arthur Ironstout prepares to travel to the Vale of Arryn](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d8p585/ironstout\_iii\_i\_go\_to\_the\_vale\_of\_arryn\_open\_to/), where there is gold and glory for the taking against the vicious threat of the mountain clans.
[Lord Harlan Tyrell makes ready to return home](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d86h9j/harlan\_i\_a\_flight\_of\_roses\_open\_to\_kl\_gates/) to prepare his family and his people for whatever the uncertain future brings, and [Queen Rhaenys hunts for any signs of her half-brother](https://old.reddit.com/IronThroneRP/comments/1d97f5e/rhaenys\_iii\_the\_murderer\_is\_dead/) amidst the wreckage of the armada.

The West

Raynald Reyne and Jon Westerling are caught speaking of terrible things by Prince Aenar who quickly places them under arrest and brings both Queens and Lord Lannister to judge their crimes.
Westermen hold a council after the death of the Westerling and the removal of Reyne's hand.
Aelor Belaerys speaks out against letting women be knights because a few did well at a tourney.
Marq Grafton and Aelor get into an argument on Valyrian and Andal traditions. The argument leads to Marq challenging Aelor to a duel. The next morning Visenya demands both meet with her at the Red Keep
Queen Rhaenys Targaryen arrests Lord Lancel Lannister for “inciting a riot” in the streets of King’s Landing after his party gets too rowdy. Lannister demands a trial by combat, and Prince Aenar Targaryen defeats Ser Jason Lannister. The punishment is reparations of 2,000 gold to be paid to the Crown.

The Reach

Harlan Tyrell meets and exchanges words with Garth Gardener
Harlan meets with the High Septon to discuss the situation of Lucifer Adaron
Harlan and Gareth discuss a marriage proposal with Lord Peake and Princess Ashara Martell
Harlan meets with Queen Rhaenys and Prince Aenar Targaryen regarding a potential visit to Highgarden
Harlan and Gareth speak with Lord Stark, exchanging pleasantries and gauging the attitude of the small council
Harlan and Gareth discuss Lord Laenor Lannister with his uncle Ser Gregor
The Lady of Holyhall speaks with several noble Houses including Tyrell, Belaerys, and Martell

Stormlands

The Storm Lords arrived to King’s Landing without much issue aside from one over cloth and honor. After meeting with various nobles of the realm, Lord Jon Wylde’s tent is approached by Aelor Baelerys who, along with others, demand the house’s banner be lowered to their station. Calling it a simple oversight, Jon agrees and the matter is settled without conflict. Nonetheless, Lord Lyonel Grandison uses the opportunity to further diplomacy, inviting the both of them to a dinner).
The moon is a fair one to the Stormlanders with no great sorrow or glory. Performing well enough in the tourney, a Dornish bastard sworn to House Wylde would carry them farthest in the joust. In its wake, the loose tongue of Edward Dondarrion would insult Queen Rhaenys, prompting a failed attempt to seize the bastard by Arthur Ironstout. In the godswood, Cortnay the bard would nearly steal the breath of the house maester, over mistreatment of his Lord Arlan Horpe.
Deep in the Red Keep a meeting between Lord Jon and Queen Rhaenys begins to draw alliances between the great houses. Offering a marriage between the two of them, Rhaenys is met with the man’s ambition as he denounces Orys, insisting that House Wylde should rise to rule the region in name as well as practice. A dinner follows not long after as Jon continues his political moves, the attendance of Houses Martell and Tyrell allowing for more marriages to be formed, conceiving an alliance between the southern kingdoms of Westeros.

Dorne

The Yronwood’s celebrate at the Feast, with the Mistress of Whispers beginning the wrangle the plotting and schemes of Westeros.
The Orphans of Mother Rhoyne host their own celebration at High Hermitage and later arrive at Yronwood.
Deria Martell hosts a dinner part to court old friends.

I was introduced to human design a year ago when my coworker (3/6 projector ) did a reading for me. Since then he has taken me under his guidance and helped me out a ton. He gifted me the science of differentiation on my birthday in October and that’s when I really got into learning HD. (He’s also let me borrow several course books, living your design, Rave ABCs, rave cartography ) He is almost 12 years into his experiment and knows a lot.
The problem being is I’m a recovering addict with over 2 years clean and a part of a 12 step program. I did discover Randy Richmond but I am desperate for more relatability from a fellow projector today, whose got a good understanding of the 12 steps and the 12 step program, as well as a good grasp on HD. I’m struggling with the step work today, it’s as if everything is juxtaposing and my coworker does not believe in NA or their program, and I don’t blame him. He’s helped me become even more open minded to life in general, However I am deeply involved and knowledgeable in the 12 steps and I sponsor others and I’d love to continue in the fellowship. I have just reached such a bitterness in my fellowship where I live and it’s getting to the point where I’ve been in a subtle crisis of faith since about a week into my science of differentiation book. I feel so connected to so much yet lack the ability to Connect it to my step work. It feels so unnecessary to me but I know I am still there for a reason, maybe to learn or just waiting for the invite out of the situation entirely.
Is there anybody out there who’s studying HD and in recovery? Any experience or help is appreciated, thank you!

okay so this might be long because i want to provide as much detail as possible so you can get the full picture. i (23NB) have lived in this NYC apartment for 4 years, and lived with one of my roommates (24F) (will be referred to as “A”) for the entirety of the time i’ve been in the city, which is 6 years. we were assigned roommates in college and just kept living together because at the time we were good friends and it worked! we had rotating 3rd roommates throughout the years and dealt with a lot of crazy shit together, including a violent roommate, but that’s a story for a different day. so this roommate and i had been having some issues for the past couple of years because she got addicted to ketamine. i felt responsible for her because it started out as us using recreationally together but she spiraled out of control with it and honestly the entire situation was just a lot on me. throughout her addiction she was doing, at one point, 16 grams in 3 days, so i was really worried that she would die, not to mention she doesn’t really test her drugs and was getting it from a neighborhood that’s notorious for fentanyl. it honestly became my full time job to take care of her, but at the end of the day I was just trying to be a good friend. after some therapy/self work, i now realize how enabling the role I was playing actually was, but it was just the position that I was put in and I had also never dealt with something like this before. I feel like for further context, i should add that A’s parents pay her rent and for a lot of things for her. she had a part time job at the time and was also in school but left due to her addiction. the situation that i am in is very different, my family does not support me financially and i pay for everything for myself and have made my way pretty much on my own. i’m pretty established in my neighborhood because I am a tattoo artist at a local shop and also have worked for 3 other businesses within the same few blocks. i also consistently have multiple jobs at once, now i have 3, and for a long time I was working 6 days a week. not really relevant to the situation but needless to say, i already have a LOT on my plate. anyways, so yeah. for about almost 2 years, i was dealing with my roommates addiction. i watched her overdose and throw up on herself 5-7 times, she projectile vomited all over the house, i have dragged her out of a pool of her own vomit, she would consistently lie to me about whether she was high or had bought ketamine, and our other friends and i would go through her room to make sure she wasn’t hiding it countless times, (to no avail obviously, she would always lie and say she didn’t have any more when she did, hidden in hard to find places.) it affected everyone in our friend group and in her life. but especially me because i was really the only person who was physically present for it all. i tried talking to her about it at first, and was very understanding and patient with her and genuinely was doing my best to help because she was my friend, we were really close, and I didn’t want to see her die or ruin her life. she also expected me to say something to her and would tell me that i should say something if i thought she was high. she would say this when she was sober and it started off an an “accountability partner” thing, but eventually became very codependent and unhealthy. even when i would ask her, she would lie. i made it very clear from the beginning that all of this was damaging our relationship, but i was still doing my best to be her friend and be there for her. at one point, i even took the drugs out of her room and hid them in mine to take to another friends house the next day to dispose of them, and she went into my room and found them. it reached a point where I made her call her parents and tell them what had been going on. calling her parents had honestly been in discussion for a while, and the sober version of her agreed that it needed to happen. she got a slap on the wrist and sent to the mental hospital for a few days, she even convinced them to let her out early! her parents also weren’t really involved in her care at all after because she has never been disciplined in her life, her parents think she can do no wrong. she relapsed soon after she got out and at this point, I started taking a lot more space for myself because I was mentally and emotionally drained and it was clear that all my efforts were in vain. this was after dealing with it for about a year. honestly, i should have definitely started planning on moving out around this point. the reasons I didn’t were the fact that i still considered A to be one of my best friends despite what we had gone through, all of my jobs are like a 5-10 minute walk away, and I also loved my room. i put a lot of time and effort into decorating it and I had also lived there for a long time and for a really great price, $850 for a huge room with a dishwasher, laundry in building, AND a rooftop i can smoke on outside my window with a view of a GREEN backyard with PLANTS. not some concrete bs. that’s UNHEARD OF in nyc. im also not really great with change, even if it’s for the best, and to be honest i was also naive and thought things would eventually go back to normal. this was a person that i previously trusted a lot, i didn’t think she would normally do these things to me. anyways, eventually she got sober and then my, at the time, best friend of 7 years from home, a state across the country, moved in. (22 F, let’s call her “B”) we met in high school and I was in the class above her. we only went to school together for a year before I graduated and moved to NYC, so for the past few years, our friendship had been over facetime/seeing eachother occasionally when I would come visit. B’s background is similar to mine, the state we’re from is very impoverished and we both left the religion we were raised as. another huge reason she moved here was so that she could start medically transitioning and get on estrogen. i was really excited for her and also wanted to support her in her transition, im also non binary and we come from a really transphobic state, so growing up queer in the south was like a huge part of our friendship, and when she moved in, she didn’t have a lot of gender affirming clothes, and i had a ton of clothes, so i gave her a bunch of mine, i sent her resources, lent her books/zines, point is i really was trying to support her, and before she moved in and even throughout us living together we would talk for hours about this stuff. also, normally, i would not feel the need to even mention the fact that someone is trans, but all of this is relevant to the story. i will also add that I know now to never live with friends! at the time, i thought it would be okay because I trusted her and we seemed to have good communication on roommate matters and i think we both had good intentions going into it. we would say things like “i don’t plan on moving out on bad terms” “we can communicate and respect eachothers boundaries!” etc. i also knew that she really wanted to move here because she had talked about it for years and she came and visited before she moved in. so yeah, things were great at first, but not for long. so I am someone who, like I said, am at work most of the time and when i come home from work I just want to relax and smoke weed and chill and if you know me in real life, you know that i’m not a very beefy person and it takes a lot to really make me upset, i’m generally chill about most things, honestly to my detriment. so the first signs of things starting to go south were when B started to say that I was ignoring her. this was confusing to me, as we hung out most days after I got off work, and she even had a job herself at the time, (she’s been fired twice in the past year and was unemployed on and off) so she wasn’t like completely trapped in the house all the time. I would try to inquire further and understand why she thought I was ignoring her, and reassure her that I’m listening. she started telling me that she needs a lot of reassurance, and i told her that I am happy to reassure her whenever needed! we talked it through and i genuinely started to put in a lot of effort into making sure i was being fully present during our time together and also making sure I was hanging out with her enough. this evolved into us having very extensive conversations for hours where she would bring up the fact that she still felt like i was ignoring her, and i would reassure that I was not purposefully ignoring her, im listening and really trying. and almost daily she would bring up a problem that she had with something that I said or did. she even at one point started tweeting about me, saying things like “do u even consider others?”. she also asked me to be on constant emotional monitoring for her, which i told her that i will not do that. i don’t really pick up on subtle social cues or “shade” and also it’s not my job to do that. if something upsets you, you can communicate with me about it instead of being passive aggressive or expecting me to be able to read your mind. plus, real friends don’t have to be responsible for every single emotion! at one point, she told me that she was mad at me because living together wasn’t living up the the idealized version of what she thought it would be. she would also guilt trip me like a LOT. she would be like “as a friend, you should be doing ____ for me” and her requests got more and more ridiculous as time went on, one of them being to basically force myself to start listening to a genre of music that i simply just don’t like or want to listen to during my own time, insinuating that i would be a bad friend if i didn’t like the same music as her. and to that, i tried to explain to her that we don’t have to like the same music in order to be friends and that i don’t care if she listens to music that i don’t particularly listen to on my own, although i am happy to listen to her recommendations, i am picky about the music I listen to. basically i felt like she was trying to find any stupid reason to say i was a bad friend. it started to really annoy me, because i already had a lot on my plate, and honestly i just didn’t have the bandwidth to be fully present all the time, especially after dealing with my other roommates addiction for so long. i needed space and time for myself really badly, and I felt like I was trying really hard to please her to no avail. all of this was incredibly exhausting to deal with. i tried to communicate this to B, but it never got through. during these very tedious conversations, B would say things that were extremely concerning, such as “You need to stop triggering me!!!” to which i responded, “okay let’s make a deal, i will be more mindful of your triggers if you work on managing them.” she would also constantly make accusations at me. for example, she accused me of laughing AT HER when i was not, and I was laughing at something completely unrelated. there were many other times that she accused me of doing and saying things that I never said or did. she would twist my words a lot, things i told her in confidence, and use them against me, adding an entire new meaning to what i was saying. and if i disagreed with her or got even a little defensive she would be like “You just pissed me off!!!!” i honestly felt like she was just picking on me and criticizing me at a lot of points, because I could literally breathe wrong and it would be an issue. i now realize that she actually just needs to create drama, but i didnt want to admit that at the time. again, during this time I was trying to be very calm during our conversations when trying to reassure her and explain myself, but internally I was very stressed out by all of this. at some point during all this, A relapsed. this was a disaster, B knew about the relapse and was lying to me about it. i was especially upset because the way A relapsed was she asked me to unlock the parental password on her phone so she could “update apps”, but instead she downloaded the app she uses to text her plug, so essentially she tricked me into enabling her relapse. i messaged her parents immediately and told them. at this point, i felt like it was expected of me to do that. of course, they basically did nothing for a while, it got really bad. A was basically not functioning at all. she would tell me that she didn’t care how she made me feel. our other friend came over and went through her room and babysat her to make sure she wouldn’t do ketamine but she pretended to go to sleep while he was literally crying next to her and she got up and did it right after he left. a lot of horrible things were said, i would express the fact that i hate that i can’t trust her, and she would scream back “i don’t want you to trust me!”, amongst many other awful things. we would hear loud snorting like every few minutes every single day, which was extremely stressful. she broke the stove because she was high, it was affecting the way she looked and her physical health, and at this point it was a safety concern for her and for B and I, because we did not want to be responsible if something happened to her and this was affecting us tremendously. eventually, B and I called her parents and told them a lot of details and begged them to send her to rehab, I had to send them a long text message being like super blunt about the fact that she needs to get professional help or she will die, and they were basically saying that ultimately it’s up to her, which was bullshit in my opinion, but she did end up going. during the time A was in rehab, things with B got progressively worse. a lot of weird and horrible things started happening, she berated me for like over an hour about one of my closest friendships, that she met once and got “bad vibes from”, i told her that I didn’t want to be put in a position where i have to defend my other friendships to her, especially ones that have nothing to do with her, and that this person is an extremely good friend to me, and that she didn’t have to be around her if she didn’t want to. i was asking her to stop but she wouldn’t! she was pulling bullshit reasons why i shouldn’t hang out with this person anymore out of her ass. for context, B drinks a lot, and she drank the night we all hung out while my other friend and i didn’t really drink. she was like “i actually HAD to drink that night because your friend was making me so uncomfortable!” which, that night was extremely normal and chill, nothing bad happened at all, also don’t blame me or anyone else for your own habits! she would pick fights almost daily. on halloween, we got drunk together with one of the people she was seeing at the time, and she ended up berating me in front of this person for ignoring her, not respecting her, etc and the person had to step in and tell her that she’s making pointed comments at me and not hearing me out, and that she was being horrible to me. (this is not the only time someone hung out with us together and then told her that she was being an asshole to me.) that night, she said a lot of hurtful things, such as “at least i don’t have a bunch of fake friendships!” (as if my friendship with her was the only “real friendship” i could have) and “you don’t have the lesbian experience you claim to have!!!!” (what does that even mean??? i’ve been lesbian since before we met lol) and she also falsely accused me of saying that being a lesbian is worse than being a trans woman, which i never said! i have never even thought that and that is not how i feel at all! at first i tried to explain everything using logic, but eventually i basically told her to stop projecting her insecurities onto me and to stop dragging me into her shit. she slammed the door in my face when we got home. we didn’t talk for like a month. during this month, i really needed some outside support, so i reached out to some trusted people to tell them what was going on and get some advice on what i should do/ how to handle the situation, and to get an outside perspective. honestly, that night was the straw that broke the camels back and sent me into a full mental breakdown from the stress of everything that had been going on in the house. i was like scream crying every single day for the entire month, unable to function at work, not thinking clearly at all. everyone in my life was telling me i should just move out asap. i think i was just extremely upset because I then realized that my relationships with both of them were not healthy, but i really cared about these people. i was extremely disappointed in how things were going, and i was also extremely worried about both of their wellbeings, i didn’t want anything to happen to them or to not have them in my life. and i was also upset that they had been being absolutely horrible to me and i was honestly just sick of being treated like shit by my roommates at this point. honestly i was an asshole when i would talk about it sometimes, but how was i supposed to be kind when everyone was being so cruel to me for no reason? i was honestly really mad, especially because B knew the stress of taking care of A, like why are you adding to the intense stress i already had just experienced?? during this time, i realized that all of this was happening because of B’s untreated BPD. to clarify, i do not care about people having bpd or other mental health disorders as long as you are not hurting other people, which, B was hurting me a lot and honestly our relationship was pretty destructive to my mental health. i also realized that these friendships were wildly codependent and unhealthy, and I needed to set boundaries. i can only take so much abuse!!! and i felt like a scapegoat for both of them and a crutch in the situation. although i still cared for these people, i knew that this was not sustainable long term. i could not handle the weight of A’s life on my back or the way I was being treated by either of them, or the fact that my home was not actually safe. at first, i was going to move out and take a break from the friendships, with the intention of hopefully rekindling when we were all in healthier places, but also the need to move out felt super urgent. the stress from this entire situation had leaked into every area of my life. i was doing poorly at work, every person in my life was telling me how i needed to get out asap because this shit was bad for my health and they had watched my mental health deteriorate because of it but i really didn’t want to move, i had lived there and known these people for so long. after chatting with other people who have bpd who are in therapy and live an emotionally healthy life, they told me that what really helps people with bpd is if you are honest with them and encourage them to seek treatment, as well as setting clear boundaries around their behavior. i was the closest person to her at the time, so i wanted to be honest with her and try to help, i wrote both of my roommates long text messages explaining how i felt and what my boundaries were moving forward. they did not take this well! they started justifying their behavior to eachother, and made me out to be the villain in the story. A told B that i told other people she had bpd, which i did do! but i did that because i needed support and advice, and I also couldn’t handle the horrible treatment i was receiving, the weight of all of this was extremely heavy. not because i was trying to “turn people against her”, as they were trying to make it seem like. this is a real life adult issue, not some petty sides picking bullshit, and i genuinely needed support because everything that was happening was making me feel insane and extremely stressed out. I even previously asked A not to say anything to B to make the situation worse and that at this point I just wanted to have conversations surrounding solution. B was upset that I told people what was going on and accused me of being manipulative. i honestly understand why she would be upset about that, it’s a very stigmatized disorder and it wasn’t really my place to share that information. i also told these people those things in confidence, i didn’t expect them to tell her i said anything to try to make the situation worse. and i also only told people that i trusted and honestly i just wanted help and support and an outside perspective and to express my feelings. after i sent the long text messages to my roommates, (i let B read hers in person so we could have open dialogue and A hers while she was in rehab so she could talk about it in therapy) (also i know that long text messages are not the best way to communicate and work through issues, im going to avoid doing that in the future) B’s response was basically something like, yeah i have bpd and yes I was projecting my shit onto you and lashing out at you, but I used to do way worse things to people. but thank you for typing this out and i’m gonna start going to therapy and working on it. she also said something like “well. friendships are through the good, the bad, and the ugly. sorry that you saw my ugly side!” like. okay. a real apology would be nice lol. in the days after this, i ended up having a huge mental crisis from all of the overwhelming stress and could not function properly, i had to go to the hospital. once i got back from the hospital, all I wanted to do was work on myself. i started creating distance from them and going back to therapy and al anon, and really started trying to pull my own shit together. i apologized for telling other people and said that I wouldn’t tell anyone again, and i didn’t. A’s sibling and i suggested that we go to family therapy so that we could have healthier relationships, A’s parents even offered to pay for it, but it never actually happened. things were kind of okay for the next few months. i wasn’t as close to either of them, but i was okay with that because I needed space and to be able to focus on myself. i talked about it a lot with a therapist, and i was essentially trying to maintain the friendships in a non codependent way. i honestly just kept to myself for a while and started taking a lot more alone time. forgot to mention, another reason they were mad at me was because I was going to move out on short notice (before i went to the hospital), but I also was going to find someone to fill the room to make the process less stressful for them, and i was vetting people to make sure they would be a good fit, and i wanted A and B to meet and approve of the person. i needed to get out of there as fast as possible, but i wanted to put effort into finding someone compatible with them. i already had a place to go lined up, but it fell through (the stress of trying to move also contributed to me going to the hospital and the situation i was going to go into seemed great at first but turned out to be a complete mess), and i also felt really guilty and horrible, so i ended up staying and trying to repair and maintain the relationships while also taking adequate alone time and upholding my boundaries. anyways, a few months pass, all i have been doing at this point is working on myself and going to work and coming home and chilling, there hasn’t really been much conflict besides the normal A being a passive aggressive asshole (which she always has been. looking back, i don’t even know how i was friends with someone like this) and B would still say disturbing things every once in a while, such as comparing me to past friendships that didn’t work out, and at one point she even flipped the narrative subtly to make it seem like i “had an outburst for no reason”. (when she is actually the person who had the outbursts towards me), and generally just blame shifting a lot in subtle ways, saying I was the one who “changed the dynamics of the house”, even though all I did was set boundaries and take time for myself, plus, the previous dynamic obviously was not working. but honestly i was just kind of ignoring it. at this point the dynamic has been A and B spending most of their time together, (they also have a codependent friendship) and me mostly keeping to myself, but hanging out occasionally and being cordial in the apartment. I was okay with that because I really just wanted alone time anyways, and I made it clear to them that I need time to work on myself, which i was doing a lot of, and B started therapy so I thought we were all just kind of working on ourselves at this point and trying to move forward. so one day, A and B go back to A’s home state together for a week, i was honestly a bit upset by this because we originally planned to all go together, we have all always gone together in the past, and honestly i thought things were chill now that everyone was in therapy, plus we had hung out on purpose occasionally. nope! once they got back, they told me I had to move out! i was extremely upset by this. honestly i was at my wits end with their bullshit, especially since A had continued to be an asshole to me even when i was still being kind and normal to her. honestly i am glad I had to move out, my life is going to get a lot better now that I don’t have them in it, but I was still just like. pissed because honestly my only objective this entire time has been to exist in my house and also I just felt like it was unfair especially considering the fact that they were the ones who were causing the issues, although I do recognize my part in them. i was codependent AF and trying to fix my friends, enabling horrible things to happen in my life to the point of going actually insane, i had extremely poor boundaries in the name of trying to be a good friend, and i should have left a long long time ago. but anyways, when they told me I had to move out, i basically said that I agreed and that I didn’t want to live with them anymore, i slammed my door and blocked them both on instagram, i also removed all of my personal belongings from the common areas. thankfully, my real friends were all there for me during this time and letting me crash on their couches. i didn’t really want to be in the apartment. within the next few days, i started getting harassed over text by their friends and unfollowed by people who were associated with them. they started going on a smear campaign against me! their friends started harassing me over text, saying “you need the mental hospital. stop pissing in glasses and stop speaking on trans people. seek the maximum amount of help possible” so basically, at this point, they’re basically telling people things that are blatantly untrue. i have never pissed in a glass before, in fact, i know B has pissed in cups in her room for her whole life (probably where she got the idea from) besides, pissing in cups isn’t a crime! also, at this point, i thought we had already talked out and worked through the me telling people about B’s BPD. so i messaged them and I was like. “can you guys please stop slandering me. this has been a traumatizing situation for all of us. honestly i would prefer for this to be as smooth as possible. i have not pissed in a glass and i have no idea what i even said about trans people that was offensive or hurtful” and they responded by saying “we have proof you were misgendering me and the shit we found out was before A’s relapse and before we had a fight”. so basically, while they were on vacation, they went LOOKING for things to use against me. A’s relapse was 8 months ago at this point, why are you digging stuff up from back then to use against me now?? i also have no idea when i misgendered her, and it was obviously a complete accident. i went through every message i sent in the past year that had anything to do with her and couldn’t find any misgendering. at this point, i did not inquire further because I was sick of having to defend myself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding me and also manipulating the situation to make me seem like a bad person. honestly, i don’t care much about the smear campaign, because most of those people i didn’t really like anyway, and the ones i did who believed them, i know now that they’re not my real friends. (even though it’s the same people saying that the way I was treated by A through her addiction was incredibly unfair to me, and asking why she is doing this to me. how dare I be actually affected?!) although the saying i’m transphobic thing is really frustrating, especially considering the fact that i literally invited you to come here SO THAT YOU COULD TRANSITION and the fact that I am also non binary. but also, how are you going to come into my home after I invited you to move in with me out of the kindness of my heart, start yelling at me and attacking me constantly and disrespecting my boundaries, kick me out of MY OWN HOUSE, and then smear my name, saying things that are blatantly untrue, to people i knew for years BEFORE YOU MOVED IN, who I INTRODUCED YOU TO ???? anyways, B went into my room while i was at work and took all of her artwork off my walls, which i don’t care about the artwork, but her going into my room made me really uncomfortable, so I installed a lock on my door until I could move out. B also ripped my mentor at the tattoo shop’s artwork off of the walls, stole it, and when i demanded it be returned it was returned to me vandalized. (she knows that my mentor wants the best for me and supports me in many areas of my life). so at this point, i’m being harassed and my items are being stolen. i had to get out of there asap, at this point it was a safety concern, it has honestly been a safety concern this entire time. so I ended up finding a place that’s the same amazing price and great quality in the area that’s still close to my jobs with people who are actually healthy and normal!!! and i moved out a month before I was supposed to because my mom and the rest of my support system agreed that it was not safe for me to stay another month, i didn’t tell them that I was moving early because I knew they would damage my things. It took me 2 days to move, and the night in between me moving, they stole my bike and put it out on the street. and A admitted that she did it out of spite because I moved early. so I stole some things back to get even and I also did not repaint or repair the room like I was supposed to, (i was going to originally before my bike was stolen) but I left her my deposit to cover the repainting etc. i also unfortunately dumped old protein shake on the floor out of pettiness and hatefulness. i am not normally like that but I was FUMING. that was definitely that angriest i have ever been in my life. i ended up paying the rent for the month I wasn’t there. But A still decided to message me on facebook, where I forgot to block her and send me an invoice with a bunch of “damages” to the apartment, demanding that I send her $1700 to get the entire floor replaced, new doors, etc. her numbers were ridiculous, it was a bunch of bullshit and I told her that i wasn’t paying it, to never contact me again, and blocked her. her parents pay her rent, it’s not about the money for her it’s about being a vindictive and entitled bully. plus, i really don’t owe her shit at this point. anyways, i have learned a lot of lessons from all this and am working on acknowledging my part in all of these issues and am going to start going to codependents anonymous to start rebuilding my life. obviously i have a lot to learn and work on within myself, and i was not perfect throughout this, even though my only intentions were to be there for my friends and exist in my own house. honestly i never want to see either of these people again! i hate them both so deeply for making my safe space unsafe, and for everything else they’ve done to me, including making my PTSD incredibly worse. and from now on I am going to leave friendships WHEN ITS TIME instead of dragging it out, and hopefully now I can choose better friends and have stronger boundaries, and in the future when tough situations arise i will be more equipped to respond in better ways. hopefully i never have to go through anything like this again!!

anybody struggle with feeling like this in the kitchen?
long story short, i was hired as a pastry cook when i first started at this higher end hotel in my city. My first week the Pastry Chef tells me she’s put in her notice and is leaving at the end of the month.
I’m a recent graduate of pastry school- i’ve worked as an intern/cook at 2 high end places and have had some experience through staging. no part of me thought I’d be taking over the pastry section within a year of graduating.
Since she’s left i’ve almost completely changed the menu- desserts are selling well and my FOH coworkers have noticed an increase enjoyment in guests that eat what i produce (stuff for breakfast/tea/dinner service)
since then people have started referring to me as “the pastry chef” and telling me to ask for a raise, etc.
Personally, i don’t believe i deserve the title, though maybe i do? When do you actually feel like “Chef”?