Quotes about reminiscing old times

Sorry, it's long.
In 2020 I moved States to live with my now ex-boyfriend. I truly thought he was the one and excused a lot of red flags I wish I wouldn't have. Before I even moved he would get mad anytime I mentioned being scared of moving it would be my first time living on my own and being far away from all of my friends and family, he would also get mad at me when we played online games together and throw child-like tantrums because of "how I acted" to this day I do not understand what I did wrong and this affected me for a long time when playing with friends I became scared to speak. When I did move in with him at first I struggled with depression and anxiety severely I could not leave the bed and just rotted for weeks I was also terrified of driving or going anywhere, especially by myself and he rarely wanted to go anywhere. It was a new city and state for me I wanted to explore and sightsee but it was during COVID so I understood. Eventually, I did get over my fear of driving after he yelled at me while driving for being anxious because I was making him feel anxious, but I got a job things were going well I was happy and proud of myself and our relationship seemed perfect. He was always very open with his phone and computer but I trusted him so this wasn't anything I was concerned about until he went out one night with friends to a bar and later when he came back I was bored scrolling his phone bored nothing new but I noticed a message and a new follower that I didn't recognize it was a girl he met at the bar, the messages were nothing too concerning and he even told her he had a girlfriend and stopped talking messaging her back, this made me feel good and trusted him even more. But then I started seeing messages from him to his exes that he claimed he was just seeing how they were because they struggled after they broke up so I shrugged it off, but then he became a little more protective of his phone and I started noticing him leaning or tilting away from me anytime he was on his phone and spending longer in the bathroom with his phone. This sent red flags to my head and made my stomach uneasy, I remember one night we fell asleep watching anime and I woke up to turn it off but I couldn't sleep so I used his computer and was browsing Pinterest when he got an email notification from a dating website when I asked him about he said it was an old profile and he didn't know why he still got emails. He continued getting more protective over his phone and computer and I started having bad feelings that something was wrong, one night it was bothering me so bad that when he was asleep I decided to go through his phone, I'm not proud of this but I hoped I wouldn't find anything I could ease my mind. Unfortunately, I found Snapchat messages between him and an ex that was oddly flirty and then a tab for Onlyfans this is where my heart truly broke he had been sending messages to these girls asking to meet up to have sex and have threesomes or telling them what he wanted to do to them and sending nudes, I was broken and sobbing next to him while he slept. I decided to try to calm myself down by taking a shower but couldn't I remember self-harming by punching my thighs so hard that they swelled up, I left the shower feeling numb and woke him up, I asked him if he had an Onlyfans and he told me no so I tossed his phone to him and asked him again he apologized and promised not to use it anymore and I asked him to delete it since it was considered porn I felt a little silly for being so upset but it felt so personal and I felt cheated on, he promised it didn't mean anything and he was never going to meet them in real life. I decided to try to forgive and move on now that he knows how much it hurt me I thought he would not do it again. After a while, we were able to feel normal again and I started to feel like I could trust him again, I promised myself to stop going through his things and told myself to trust him. Fast forward a few months, my great-grandmother passed away and I flew back home for her funeral he also flew back home but stayed longer than I did for his dad's birthday when he got back he told me he needed to talk to me and told me he had gone to see his ex that was still very much in love with him, he claimed he went to tell her that we were together and that she needed to leave him alone, to this day I wonder if this is the truth but at the time I was just happy he told me. things were fine for a while our relationship was doing great and I had moved on from checking his phone. In September of 2021, my father was hospitalized due to a seizure and was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer with 27 lesions on his brain and masses on his lungs and adrenal glands, you can imagine how heartbroken I was and felt guilty that I wasn't there, I became bed bound again and stopped going to work eventually I decided I wanted to move back home and my BF was supportive and helped, we came up with the plan that he would move back home when his work contract was up and we would live with my parents until we could afford a house. He did move back but we started fighting again It was around Christmas and the New Year and trying to divide time between visiting families caused a fight due to me being upset because we spent time with his family longer than he told me which caused us to be late to my families Christmas. Then on New Years, we got into an argument because he wanted to go out with friends but because of my father and COVID I didn't want to risk it he basically told me he didn't care if my dad got COVID. Days after these fights I remember he left his phone in the bathroom and I once again went through it and found Onlyfans and other websites that seemed strange but I did not know what they were. I confronted him and he became angry and left he stayed with his cousin for a few days. When he came back he twisted the story into me being the villain for going through his things and told me I had no hobbies and no goals in life and that I was toxic and brought him down, I had believed him this was my fault. he got some of his things and left again. After I begged him to talk we met at a park by my house he got in my car and we talked about our relationship this ended with me begging him to stay with me and me thinking we were together still and he saying he was single but we were "dating" (to me this is not being single) he kissed me and forced me to have sex with him in my car I did not want this and said no but eventually gave in. I only realized this was assault later. when he changed all of his socials to single, I found out his definition of dating was still being single, this was a nasty time consisting of toxic insults being thrown back and forth through texts one day and being in love again the next, this went on for some time. He rented himself an apartment and I would stay the night every weekend eventually he did ask me to be his girlfriend again months of whatever this was, I thought this was dumb but agreed and told him to never put me through that hell again I believe at the time I thought he was going through some mental breakdown and that's why he was acting the way he was. This didn't last long, one day we got into an argument because I expressed to him how I did not want to go to work he encouraged me and I replied jokingly "Well that's not really what I wanted to hear." for some reason, this triggered him and he got mad and gave me the silent treatment for days I would text him asking what was wrong and if we were still together eventually he replied he was thinking about being single, I asked if we were breaking up then and he said no I was so confused and angry at this response. after a week of not talking he stayed the night with me at my parents and we were able to bond again however I noticed he was on his phone a lot again but didn't think much of it until he took a selfie in front of my sticking his tongue out I laughed and asked what he was doing and he explained he had been messaging old friends and he told me he had also made new friends online playing Valorant. I thought this was cool and probably healthy for his mental health but thought the selfie was kinda of strange, that night it was eating at me and I did again go through his phone, and found in Discord the friend he had met he had been chatting with and being very flirty telling her when he was horny and also venting to her about our relationship because I had thought I might have been ace, I remember a message to her saying he was going to slap her ass, I started shaking and crying and decided was done, I woke him up and asked him who she was so I started reading the messages to him he got angry and said he was tired of this I said " oh you're tired of this?" and cut him off before he could say anything else by yelling at him to leave. this was it I did feel a relief. After this he even had the girl talk to me on Discord to try to explain that it didn't mean anything and that's just how she talks to people and she didn't even know he had a girlfriend..... he vented to her about me..... But this was the end I was finally out of that toxic relationship and now I am finally feeling mentally myself again and wanted to post this hoping to help anyone else in a similar situation. Please learn from my mistakes and do not let someone manipulate and abuse you, mentally physically, or in any way. I'm sure there are more to this time in my life but these are the main things that have stuck with me. Thank you for reading.

I posted this in the comments of another post but I haven't seen anyone talking about it and I feel like it'd get more traction here so here goes.
I haven't seen many people talking about the Mollie animatronic. All I noticed at first was her saying, "He hurts Lloyd" and I had a few theories about that but now I've heard some people mention the "Not Rambley" part and I agree with that bit. Whoever "Not Rambley" is must've been abusing the more organic mascots, Lloyd especially.
As for who "Not Rambley" is another matter completely. The Rambley mascot mask collectable info recording perhaps suggests that "Old Sport" and/or his associate are to blame, but that could be argued against seeing how it is also a Dayshift at Freddy's reference but I wouldn't count it out because of that. Alternitavely since there appears to be organic versions of the park's mascots, perhaps the organic Rambley fell victim to one of organic Salem's potions, like in the Jetstream Junction arcade cabinet, and since Rambley seems to only tolerate Lloyd, maybe Salem's potion (or whatever equivalent her organic counerpart has) made organic Rambley 'less tolerating' and attacks Lloyd; but this is a lot less likely.
There is also the matter of the Mollie animatronic even saying what she said. No way that it was just a coincidence. It had to have been tampered with, but by who? Organic Mollie? We know Mollie knows machines, perhaps her organic counterpart does too? What about a sympathetic employee? Surely not everyone hated the Organic mascots and wanted to get the message out.
Sorry if any of this has already been said, these are just my thoughts I've come up with on my own. I'm no theorist, it's my first time discussing a theory online, please be kind.

Because of the time compression, I don't think we will see the extraordinary long years of the Numenoreans like 300 years and beyond. But I could see they retain their youth and don't start to grow old until they reach 100 years. At most 130 years lifespan which is several decades more than a mortal, if we say the low-men average lifespan is 60 years.
Another thing is it's likely only the royal lines will live very long. Just my theory: Kings and royal relatives: 120-130 years. Ordinary citizens: 100 years(they start to grow old when they are 80)
I can't remember the exact article the showrunner said they ahd to compress the timeline to a average human lifespan, but 60 years is still enough time to get through the downfall of Numenor, the establishment of Gondor-Arnor and War of the Last Alliance.
Elendil could be pushing already in his 70's, Isildur in his 50s same with Anarion and Pharazon I think is already 80. So the characters just need to make a hint about their age like how Aragorn did to Eowyn to a human character and there you have it.

my life could be worse and i consider myself extremely lucky to be born under circumstances in which i don't need to worry about my survival. but god forbid i pursue what i love when free time appears. i cant even tell the difference between burnout and depression atp. im trying to fix my sleep schedule and fix everything that could be causing me problems. it's genuinely so frustrating that the "spark" (passion) i get has faded again. it just feels like everything is so stagnant..? no direction. and yet a few months ago i knew exactly what i needed to do and felt that constant excitement or "spark" that made me feel like i had something wonderful to live for. and all that knowledge is still there, but my drive is gone. and it worries me to think that i may be losing my love for guitamusic but that cant be true bc this all began when they dropped my dosage from 150mg to 100mg. or so i think. if this keeps going the way it is im gonna end up wasting the rest of my highschool years doing nothing. they did bump the dumbass dosage back up but ive just been rotting inside all day. im gonna try to get out there and go jam with my uncle n some other old dudes that play guitar, maybe start gigging with em, and like i said before, fixing my sleep schedule (got messed up cuz i moved to another state n summer just started so i have no schedule). and get a guitar teacher so ill have more incentive to practice. it really does feel like all my excitement has faded slowly since the dosage drop n shit (even after bringing it back up). unless this started happening before then? i wouldn't want to live anymore if i lost my spark forever. im hoping that once i fix my sleep the meds will actually take full effect (smth like this happened before when i first got on these meds, not sure about the sleep part but the sudden change in general mood etc). i still worry that it wont get fixed and i just wont love guitar and music as much anymore but when thinking rationally it doesnt seem very likely. but im trying to get to such a level that im one with the instrument, more fluent at spontaneously speaking through music than speaking english. that isnt quite easy so wasting my time really isnt something i want to do. but im just existing. and it feels like im stuck. i know exactly what i need to do. but its like seeing an open door to where my destination is, knowing exactly how to get there, and yet im chained to the wall by things i cant see.

I found my girl kitten near the dumpster at 4 weeks old and she was super sweet and calm. She was playful, constantly wanted to be near my bf and I, a huge cuddle bug, and purred all the time. Since we work during the day we would leave her alone and we felt horrible cause she would get sad and meow for a while. So we thought about getting her a friend especially because she was almost hitting 3 months old and we wanted to do it before she became an adult.
I found my second cat on the street and he is much younger than her, barely 3 weeks. We took our time introducing them and let him get older too.

1. We let them see each other
2. We let them smell under the door
3. We put him in a cage and she would just stare at him
4. Changed toys
5. Then we let him wonder

Everything was fine till he started wondering. At first they were getting kind of along and she was playing with him gently but would hiss and growl once or twice. Now she growls all the time while she plays with him and she's rougher to where he will cry. We can't pick her up or she growls and moews till we let her go play with the boy, she doesnt purr at all unless it's at night when she's on our bed which the boy can't reach, and she doesn't cuddle with us anymore. However she is constantly playing with him or constantly playful but her hair is never puffy or ears never flattened. She just growls at him sometimes.
She threw up too and I thought it might be the stress of him wanting to constantly be around her so I separated them. Once I did she was back to her old cuddly and purring self. I have no clue what to do I feel like I need to just get her a tall cat gym or give her a space only she can reach so she's not constantly around him. It hurts my heart cause I miss my baby girls old self but I don't want to be mean to the new kitten.

TW // Car accident, death, injury
I was driving back from a dr appointment with my mom and there had been a crash up ahead. My mom pulled aside so we could help if it was needed and it was needed. A big rig had rear ended a truck and the truck drove over this woman’s sedan. It was like a crushed soda can.
I was the only one small enough to squeeze through the crushed up frame and get to the woman, and so I did. She was slumped over but still alive and I could see her arms were both broken badly. It was like that scene in harry potter where his bones disappear.
Some dudes were trying to cut her seatbelt from the drivers window and I kept telling them to stop. I told them we didn’t know if she had any spinal injuries and it was keeping her stable. I kept saying to stop and wait for paramedics to decide if it was safe. They ignored the 15 year old kid and cut the seatbelt and she slumped towards and I was so angry. For some reason I distinctly remember the sight of blood dripping down her hair and onto her lap. I’m still angry at those men.
I was too scared to touch her so I talked to her the whole time. I introduced myself and told her what school I went to and when I saw the sirens in the distance I described what they looked like. I talked to her the entire time and it was so scary. At some point she stopped breathing, I don’t know when. I talked to her until the firefighters helped me out of the car and then I was loaded up back into my own car and I didn’t see her again.
Heard from the news the next day she was dead before firefighters arrived. I didn’t go to school the next day.
It’s been 11 years since then and I still think about it every time I drive past that stretch of the highway. It stuck wondering if I could have done anything different. If I could have stopped them from cutting her seatbelt would that have helped? If I hadn’t been afraid to touch her, would she have been more at peace?
My therapist said I have PTSD from it and I even feel guilty about that. It’s just been years with this in my head and it’s not something I can just. casually bring up to people so maybe three people know it happened.
I don’t think i’ll ever get over it. I don’t regret it. I hope to god I gave her some sort of comfort in her last minutes. At least let her know she wasn’t alone. Convincing myself that she was comforted by it makes it a little easier.
Thanks for listening, I just needed to say this somewhere.

Hey gang.
I'm currently replaying MMBN3 properly for the first time since highschool. I always thought the skill level required to S-Rank the Navis was way outta my reach. Not sure how familiar y'all are with the game, but in this most recent playthrough, as a more capable adult, I have to say:
Ice Stage + Plasma3 is super hax!
Like honestly, any boss that unwittingly stumbles into the first two columns is absolutely destroyed by a stun locking, devil balloon.
In case you're going for all the stars (especially if you're on Blue version where Ice Stage comes in *), you should totally consider using it.
 
As a Pokémon veteran of old I'm all about the combo pieces I'd love to hear your favourite chip combo

Background: I am 28 years old with 3+ years of experience in my field, working in a career level clinical lab position at a hospital. This is my second time on a performance improvement plan/letter of understanding at work in two years. I have significantly improved since the first PIP and the second one was started when a traveler who I suspect didn’t like me and was buddy-buddy with another traveler who I know doesn’t like me literally called my supervisor in overnight and claimed I wasn’t doing any work because I asked her to do something while my hands were full, and it spiraled from there. Since then I have been busting my ass even more and asking people often what I can do to make their lives easier.
Problem is, I continue to receive “complaints” from my coworkers via my supervisor, and they are all either directly related to my disabilities or incorrect enough compared to what I am actually doing on a given day that I am baffled on how to address them. People have claimed I’m not contributing enough, that I just wander around (I need to take like literally 20 second hydration breaks regularly because of meds and I also am constantly doing work tasks in various places around the lab), that I need to be reminded to do things (sometimes I don’t see someone who comes to pick something up from us/drop something off because I am focused on a different task and there are loud fridges running and the person is silent), stuff like that. Stuff you would think would be easily remedied by someone asking “hey, I’m busy, can you grab that?” but apparently not. I have not received any specific examples of things I am doing, or if I have they have been told to me extremely vaguely.
Because of this, and the fact that I KNOW I am working hard every day to the point I have made myself sick this past weekend, I have identified a main problem in that my neurotypical coworkers will not tell me to my face what they need from me. All they do is complain to my supervisor about what I am doing currently and they do not offer solutions that will help them personally, so I can only go off what my supervisor suggests, and obviously that won’t work for every coworker who is going to take issue. They play the usual NT social/office politics games and beat around the bush or say everything is fine when I ask, and it feels like they expect me to read their mind on what I should be doing to make them happy. I have asked my supervisor and peers repeatedly for consistent, blunt, and direct feedback on how to proceed and I have not gotten that. The amount of times I have said I am disabled and need people to say exactly what they need to my face or I will not understand has gotten ridiculous. I’m tired of playing telephone between my coworkers and my supervisor, and I can’t keep busting my ass only to be told I’m not doing enough or am doing things wrong somehow. I also question whether some of these are legitimate issues in the first place, or just perceived as issues because I am neurodivergent and speak and act differently in many mostly benign ways. All of this is destroying me mentally and physically, and I can’t lose this job or leave it due to current life circumstances and future financial plans in the area that are already in process and cannot be changed.
What do I do? I am meeting with my supervisor again to discuss as much of this as I can safely say to him, but I’m at a loss if that doesn’t work and I just get the same shit again. Can I literally submit an ADA accommodation request for people to be blunt with me or something? It’s one of the only things I can think of - besides requesting a mediated meeting between me, my supervisor, and the coworkers who have brought up the issues, which I am going to suggest in this upcoming meeting - that might actually make someone do something instead of telling me that “maybe I’m not right for the job” that I studied and worked my ass off for my whole fucking life, which is an unacceptable thing to say to someone who’s missing an arm but they’ll sure as hell say it to people with invisible disabilities like AuDHD. EVERY job requires communication, multitasking, and other things that are hard for mentally disabled people, and they should not be able to fire me for not being 100% on those things when I have documented disabilities preventing me from doing so no matter how hard I try. I am putting all of my effort in and they are not. It is no longer a me problem if they are not complying with my specific requests for help as a disabled individual, and I can’t keep having it treated like one.

I know this is really old, but I haven't seen anyone post about this so I figured ill post
many people (including me) thought that elk puked during game 4 against t1 at msi during the pause. this is incorrect
recently on stream, elk said that he had a running nose the entire match, and was a bit stuck as the game went on. It was pretty terrible, and he couldn't just not have his two hands on the keyboard, so he had to pause and blow his nose.
He also said that any sickness or anything else isn't an excuse for them losing at msi, and told his mods to not time out or ban anyone flaming him in chat. As chat was spamming 2827 (peyz's kda), he even added it to his stream title.

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Everything is perfect.
IIve been awake since 2, laying in bed comfortably with the good cat sleeping on the pillow between my healthy home-keeping hubby and me. My youngest adult kid is sleeping peacefully, 67-year old mother is pretending to sleep on the couch waiting for me to ask for help.
Everything is as prepared as it can be--I've watched the surgery (total with bsp) several times on YouTube, kitchen is stocked, my to-be-read pile is enormous a d exciting, and there are icepads for my cooch and popsicles for my face in the freezer waiting for me when I get home.
Scared? No. Anxious about the coming 48 hours? Yeah. Like a lot of you, though, I busted my ass to make and have waited painfully to try to make today unfold as stressfree as possible, lol, and am so blessed to feel comfortable as possible in this sitch. My work department is covered, finances have been wrung dry, and vacation and sick leave earned.
I'm the big kid who's fixing to go let this doctor rake care of business.
Wishing a fast recovery for you all.

I am 19yo male.
I've read a lot about how you have a higher risk of psychosis if you have a family history of mental illness. I think my grandmother has mental health problems because her husband committed suicide. My 17 year old brother smoked a lot of cannabis and took other drugs like alcohol and pills and then developed psychosis. My mother and doctors don't think it was due to cannabis or drugs in general.
About 2 years ago I was in a very bad way because of my job and since then I have been taking Sertraline. I started with 75mg and went down to 50mg and then to 25mg (with medical approval of course) and soon I will stop taking my medication completely. I have been feeling much better since then and feel ready to come off them.
I already have experience with 2C-B, cannabis, DMT, magic mushrooms, ketamine, GHB
A lot of experience: 2C-B, DMT, Ketamine And the others only a few times
I have never experienced any side effects or signs of psychosis. I would like to try LSD, Mescaline after I come off the meds and am looking for advice

Hello there!
DQX is a online community that started to take shape back in 2020. The initial purpose of DQX was just to serve as a name for a DnD game but after giving it some thought, a decision has been made to try to turn it into a small online community for people to chill and play games.
Right now we have about 5 active players and we are looking for more people to join our growing community.
Our server is 1 month old atm but there's still so much to do and explore.
Some of the main attractions that we have are:

• Active staff members that are willing to help at any time
• Periodic events on our Discord server, from things like building contests to drawing contests
• A Role system which has entirely obtainable roles, each coming with different perks
• A nice cozy Spawn area built by our staff members
• An economy system that enables money drop from mobs, shop creation and specific item selling
• Villager shops with a variety of items inside Spawn
• Player Market area where players can buy protected areas and build their own shops
• A large Village area for players that want to buy a protected plot
• Quality hosting for a smooth experience
• Bedrock integration for mobile / console players
• Discord server with the EssentialsX Discord integration

Considering that we are a growing community we encourage the community to have a voice in topics & change.
Join our Discord server for more info and feel free to contact any of the Staff members for any question you might have!
We hope you're going to have a good time if you decide to join us!
Discord Invite Link: https://discord.com/invite/ftXudFR5Qx
Server Address: 31.214.205.133:59131
~Bedrock Address:~ IP: 31.214.205.133 Port: 51395

Good Morning my Fello Digital Minimalists..
Today i want to share my Story of how i regained control of my offline-Life and left "The Matrix"
THE WHY:
before we begin with the HOW, i want to tell you real quick about the WHY.
Iam currently 36 years old and a fulltime Geek since my Childhood.
But as much i love Technology and Gaming... the last 2-3- years, i felt that something was off.. something wasnt as it supposed to be.
I was stressed, and felt like i was racing through life.. The Days and years came and went so quick.
Eventually i realized, i had spend way too much time on front of a screen, i wasnt living in the "real world" instead i was living in "Cyberspace".
I had spend at least 10-11 hours a day in front of some sort of screen.. 8 hours in front of the Computer at Work and at least 2-3 Hours playing Online Multiplayer games and streaming videos.. plus the amount i spend on my phone (around 2-3 hours a day).
So, like many of you, i tried to cut back on that screen time, i listened to Cal Newports Book Digital Minimalism and tried to stay away from gaming and even bought a Feature phone.
But that didnt make me happy or bring me back to the "Real World" in any way.. in fact it made my life more difficult.. as i need certain Apps on my phone to even get into work and log in.
As a fan on technology and gaming.. i also didnt want to kick it out of my life entirely..
THE HOW:
What did i do then?
I sat down and tried to remember a time where i was living in the "Real world" but also enjoyed tech and gaming. the best of both world so to speak..
And then it hit me as i listened to songs from my youth and young adult life.. the 2000s!
In the first decade of the 2000s.. we had a perfect blend of Technology and living..

• Online Gaming was still in its infant stage and offline games where so much fun
• Almost no social Media
• Internet? .. was a tool.. at least for me..(because it was very expensive back then)
• Smartphones.. almost non existent
• We enjoyed swimming in the lakes, hiking on mountains, riding our bikes to the next village for icecream.. taking roadtrips to far away cities. (without google maps.. shocking, i know .. XD)

i loved that decade.. and now on retrospective.. i was way happier back than as iam now..
But how do you create a life which emobodies the Spirit of the 2000s but still beeing able to function in our highly connected world of today..
WHAT I DID:

• cancled my Playstation network Subscription (because toxic online gaming with predatory casino mechanics are the devil!)usted up a few of my favorite offline games i loved or always wanted to play (Which i didnt play for a long time because of the addictive nature of online multiplayer .. )
• Reduced my PC Setup to 1 Monitor instead of 3
• uninstalled every online multiplayer game on my PC and PS5
• deleted every App on my iPhone that wasnt about: my health, conection with family or Work
• started watching my favorite 2000s era tv shows to feel the vibe of that era again.. (NCIS, Home improvement, etc..)

I also created SOME RULES:

• Playing Videogames is allowed only for 1 hour between after Dinner and Bedtime (Family Duties come first)
• Weekends are Familytime only.. and working on and around the house. (means no smartphone during the Day)
• Treat streaming (aka Disney+) like oldschool TV and only watch 1 Episode of your fav. tv series per day

THE RESULT:
Iam doing this for a couple of weeks now.. what did i experience:

• I feel more grounded..
• i feel time slowed down again..
• Familytime is so much better now.. iam back in the Moment
• iam less on my phone.. 50-60% less..(around 30min-1 hour per day)
• i enjoy videogames again.. also i play less then before but with a more quality experience
• i started to reorganize and declutter all of my stuff (it feels amazing)
• i managed to get more work done around the house than ever before

I feel so much better now.. !
Feel free to comment and ask questions :)

I(17f) live with my mom(36f),brother(5m) and step dad (47m). For some background knowledge he has been in my life since I was about four years old and he has a daughter of his own(14f). To say the least she’s a b*tch as well. Moving on, my step dad has a drinking problem. without a doubt an alcoholic and yes this is an issue but can be maintained. although in his case his drinking causes him to overshare, make jokes at times in appropriate situations or just a plan always has an opinion even when he’s not asked nor involved. He is the type of man that doesn’t listen to what you have to say. He doesn’t take accountability for his actions, nor does he see wrong in his actions and words and if he is proven wrong he either finds way to make you wrong or him right. In a word it is exhausting, to live with a man child. About a month or so ago me and him were at home and my brother and mother went out for a bit. my step dad was sitting on the couch and i was cleaning my room, i walked pasted him to go outside to take my trash out,when i came back in my step dad then hands me my underwear and says he “found them”. i grab them and walk away. about 5 minutes later i go back into the living room and ask him where did you find them? the first thing he says is “im not going to talk to you while you’re on the phone”. i had my headphones on and said im not on the phone he then tells me to get my phone and bring it to him to prove that im not on the phone or recording. Side note( in the past i recorded a video of us having a conversation about weed) anyways, after that i ask him again where he found them and he says “on the floor i dont know”. i ask him “where on the floor because there no laundry that had been done and wasn’t going to be done either so the only places that you could have found them is either in my room or the bathroom and if they were in my room then why did you bring them to me anyways and if they were in the bathroom you could have just put them in the dirty bin”. he then says “ what if i said i just like smelling them”. i frozen and stared at him to process if what i just heard was to be taken lightly or not. without a word i go into my room and shut and lock the door. he then comes up to my door and yells “i’ve always been a person to speak my mind and ik you are too”. im not too sure what that meant to this day. i called my friend and ask her to come pick me up because i didn’t feel comfortable staying there i left. The next morning my mom is bombarding me with question and expecting responses to questions i dont have the answers too. she brings me back home and my step dad is still at the house… she tells me “im not taking his side” but moves on as if it didnt happen. i never got an apology from him or anything of the sort. i got a sorry excuse and past issues as to why me and my step dad stopped talking.After about 2-3weeks of ignoring him my mother then forced me to have a conversation with him where it leads to nothing because he doesn’t and can’t understand why i felt the way i felt. Time passes and im forced into another conversion and at this one my mother yells to me“i am so tired of you and this petty behavior”.
By the end of this conversion i convinced my mother and my step dad that all is right in the household and he is forgiven. In reality i still hold the same resentment that i had from day one and i dont see my heart or my mind changing anytime soon. So AITA for dismissing my step dad?

some background, been dating this girl for a year and in 3 days it will be a year and a month.
Around 6 months ago my GF found a really old chat on my old discord account with my ex (3 years ish since we broke up currently) and have read it all while crying loudly, and when I say loudly you can imagine a father crying about his kids dying in an accident, that's probably as loud. Ever since that day, my gf has been dealing with retroactive thoughts about my ex and she would go into down spirals by herself, cry at least once a week about it because she thinks I don't love her the same or love her as much, I made sure to reassure her every time in every possible way but all I got was "you are never helping" so I asked what else I can do and she said idk. It was like that for a while till it eventually got worse, she started distancing myself from me even though I begged her not to and that I loved her, I tried my best doing everything she said she wanted me to do but even after all that she still couldnt feel loved, she started hiding her feelings, hiding when she cried, and I do have a part in that because there were times I felt exhausted and told her to "snap out of it" which made it really bad and I am sorry for that. Till It got to its peak which is the last month (13th may ish to now) fights turned into her yelling at me telling me to get out already and leave her alone, saying she doesnt want me anymore and sometimes causing me physical pain nothing serious more like a tough squeeze or a kick, nothing that I cant handle, Sadly a couple times I also fell into that and returned the favor with those squeezes.
We fought like this for the whole month till around a week ago I went and took a pair of scissors In the middle of a filthy fight that started out of nowhere, we woke up together and 30 minutes later this happened, I harmed my self in the process out of extreme sadness that has been around my head ever since this started, I feel like I ruined my little beautiful girl and seeing her slowly run away from me has got me into extreme sadness this past few months, I used to have problems with suicidal thoughts earlier in life but around late 18 I moved past that but sadly I might be going there again.
I really dont want to lose her, I put a lot of efforts into our relationship from early on because I didnt want to fail as a boyfriend yet I feel like I am failing, and it kills me because where did I go wrong? from dates to flowers to valentines to gifts to spending almost every day together hugs kisses love words love letters I tried as hard as I can to make sure it wont fail but yet its failing miserably...

My family was trying to discern why Davis felt so beautiful, inviting, full, and rigorous enough for my first few months here. I think I've distilled that below. At the very bottom at least.
Firstly, I am, have been, a pretty active PoliSci/IR major. I double majored in sociology for most my time here, but dropped it to graduate early -- strictly and directly because Davis gave me so so much more to want to do. I say directly because it's own PoliSci study abroad program made me see that. More on that later. Or feel free to message me. However long in the future.
I can talk a lot, don't like to end sentences, and use metaphors. But when I was doing this search a few years back, I was dying to find someone verbose so I hope this helps you, future applicants. Congrats for making it this far. Take a breath, whatever choice you make will be right.
For some context on my perspective, I moved from Greece to SoCal when I was about 10, so got a good balance of an American "local" perspective and the classic, aptly stereotyped European borderline snobbery perspective. After getting waitlisted at Berkeley for too long, and accepted at Santa Cruz, where my brother had gone, San Diego and Irvine, I chose Davis. Among those choices especially, I am beyond happy. Throw Berkeley and LA into the mix, I'm still happy. And this is coming from an academic junkie honestly -- taking five courses a quarter for quite a few of my quarters here (normal full-time student is 3), worked at our lovely student newspaper (shoutout to The California Aggie), did some remote internships on the side, partied, did nothing for days, made friends, lost friends, saw friend groups fall apart terribly, hilariously, bar crawled, crammed, emailed every excuse in the book (except for grandma) etc.
A Brief Prelude:
Going in to college guys, my two cents is just treat life like you love learning the world around you, know it will absolutely fuck you up sometimes, and know 24 hours in a day is enough. I am by all accounts far, far from perfect but I feel like with a tiny bit of grit and commitment to go tf outside, not always letting in negative feelings when they want to (ahem, thanks phone) you can have all those experiences you dream of.
This is where Davis comes in. It successfully facilitated that. And I think it can for many, many more people. To be a bit of a pundit ass, it's a truly hidden gem.
Here We Go:
My reasoning has three parts, tldrs for the first two, or if you really want, just skip to the third:
1: The town and the uni as areas
The uni itself has a very balanced culture (look at how Berk can be called unbalanced and clastrophobically manic, and how the SoCal suburb UCs & SD can just be more or less socially dead) and by all means the town would survive without the uni. The town is VERY well placed indeed with SF a stone's throw away (and uni buses that take you straight there for cheap) Sac moments away (for God sakes avoid rush hour), and make some fucking use out of that godtier student discount on the ikon pass to go to Tahoe and ski unlimited days if that's your thing. Or teach your friends!. Join the "ski" club for their ludicrous parties at least once.
I remember the mailers I got pummeled by in senior year of high school, Davis calling itself something like the college town of California half-heartedly struck me like, huh, I wonder what that's supposedly like. It's fucking AWESOME. If you don't have a car, don't have a generous friend with a car, then use student discount on Zipcar, if you don't want to take the train/bus to SF or are going somewhere else. There is zero, zero excuse to not explore those two places heavily if you have four years here, quite heavily too for my lovely transfer students and their two years. Added to the beautiful hometown-but-lively feel of Davis, that regional amenity pack is honestly, perhaps, the best among all UCs. UCLA doesn't even have a goddamn public transit connection to get to the rest of the city in its name. Though that should change with the Olympics. Anyways.
As a foodie with some global chops,, for how sleepy and nonchalant Davis seems,, it still surprises the fuck out of me. Just had birria noodles (!?) from the same place I had one too many drinks at the other night, like, what? There's bomb poke at zumapoke, ol reliables in n out and Cane's, incredible, incredible ice cream at Davis creamery, a surprising few solid options for Indian, Thai, Chinese, and cheap - restaurant - michelin restaurant levels of sushi. Though my dark horse is the sushi & nigiri at the Coho. Guads for Mexican. I used to hang with friends that went to Tijuana for tacos during high school lunch, Guads gets the job done. hapilly. There's also a really good hotdog place,, that for obvious reasons won Guy Fieri's food show awards here earlier this year. A value staple (for my bulking gym friends) at Tim's in the Wednesday chicken katsu special, though it's great and honestly 2.5 meals for me any day of the week,
and oh back to transport a bit -- there's a solid supply of Ubers/Lyfts at all hours, a very smart measured amount of bikes/scooters scattered about to rent, and again, buy your own damn bike. I love the buses and they are absolutely great here,,, but trust me buy that bike off of Craigslist. To close, cannot forget to shoutout Mishkas for coffee and study spot. Though goddamn are there rival options as well. Can do a really thorough personality test thingy off of your coffee spot selection here. That's how many there are.
To start closing this section, If you can access a car (you have so many options) or can, like a good Next-Gen American, see yourself taking Amtrak or other public/uni transport to SF,, (coming back at night no need to spend housing $ most nights) you will be more, much more than fine if you're after for a lot out of your undergrad experience. Basically having so many A+ tier options (many more than the GOATS mentioned) to go to on a slower weekend, for a necessary change of scenery, or to say fck it we ball and skip some classes, live life,, that makes Davis a no-miss possibility. But make sure you go meet people,, from orientation, classes, clubs, frats, sports (volunteer teams too),, go find your people, they are here. Among the hidden sixty thousand of us.
tldr; the town (town, not city) has an excellent energy, beautiful scenery, truly bike friendly so no hassle to move around, great amount of amenities as places -- especially bars that closed during COVID are still reopening (+2 bars just in the last two years) -- and has the BEST location to explore the State during your time here. No other place can offer you a cozy hometown base, literally 50min-1.20hours time to one of the world's most fascinating cities in SF, AND an absolute holy grail of snow and water sports in Tahoe (~2 hour scenic drive is not bad, even during a five class workload, enjoy our youth while we have it everyone).
2: The campus/ The academics:
Campus is downright gorgeous, it's specialty is in fall and especially spring, but in winter too, for my winter enjoyers, it does hit the spot a surprising amount. Just make sure you have rain and wind gear. For your bike too. Don't let that shit rust. Rear fender before you get the dreaded stripe. The heat is fine, 0 humidity is a cheat code. You can also effectively treat campus as a very small one, stay in the centre cluster of the library, Quad, MU, the core academic buildings, or -- as you should -- venture out on your bike or on foot and become familiar with it's nooks and crannies. The (massive) Arboretum , now under some unfortunate but environmentally awesome renovations in the lake, is absolutely fabulous. Going to the West End and it's massive, absolutely massive grass sprawl with redwood and non redwood tree clusters between classes and chilling is just...insane. Forget the lovely cows, go give some love to my boy Truffle the Goat (a goat of goats) and his neighboring alpacas....and cows. Shoutout to the house/EDM nighttime party at the grass area by the coffee class building on picnic day. Shit slapped. But then 5 minutes on the bike and you're -- still in campus -- but back in the hustle and bustle. Balance. I don't think we talk about this enough for college campuses. I was obsessed with Berkeley's lively af scene, felt so so in touch with urban Europe vibe, the opposite of SoCal suburbia. But Davis is only an hour away and hey, we have a massive and bustling Palestine encampment that I'm very proud of + some peace. To each their own.
To any architecture or design majors, you will enjoy this. It's a sleeper hit. The variety in the building styles is insane, but, it works? How mystical and beautiful. Also, the Death Star.
If you ever see a class with it's location at the Mondavi Center - fucking take it. Lecture in a state of the art theateconcert hall? Where I saw Pink Martini perform? Yes please. Oppositely, a mandatory class at Rock Hall? An unfortunate necessary evil. At the TLC? Why the hell are there screens on every wall; Old-school spoiling us behavior, nice to see for a bit of a change honestly and thank God, one building for $85 million. Climate neutral though. Shoutout to Wellman Hall, California, Everson oddly enough, the RADICALLY good vibes in the Art Building, the cave vibe of Kleiber, and yeah. There's much more. God bless the reading room at the library, screw you if you aren't self conscious of your noise level in there ("reading" room, "moderately social"). Make sure you spend a good chunk of your breaks at the part of the Arb by Mrak Hall. Convenient as hell location, + ducks. And all the good that comes with troops of ducks.
Academics largely function the same as that To each their own sentiment, for us in the humanities. When I took the Davis-specific study abroad program at the London School of Economics and PoliSci,,, you could see what a top 10 school in the humanities was like. Or at least my corner of them. Davis is much more relaxed than that. However, if you choose to do something about that, you will find yourself getting an education much much much more tailored to you than if you went to a bigger institution. What's the other proverb, big fish in a small pond or small fish in a big pond? I guess now that I'm in the end, I feel even more confident to say that the former of those two is the way to go for undergrad in particular. But emphasis on the fact that the pond here is not that small, no matter what major you're in. I haven't heard a single person really complain that their area is just crucially lacking. On that, programs like UCDC and UCSac are VERY well funded here and there is an outsize amount of perks, obviously for UCSac especially. And these programs are NOT utilized ENOUGH. I suppose they're throwing money at them to incentivize you, reading this post, to attend.
So tldr on academics (no tldr for campus, sorry); you are either absolutely fucking set from the start or you're not far below that and retain the option to boost that educational value MUCH more than in institutions that wrangle their professors more and are more in the spotlight, or too far away from it. Davis basically IS the Harvard for a few STEM majors. That has an effect on us all. People told me this ahead of time too, but it's another thing to actually experience that. And funding is not an issue here at all (keeping in mind the fact that no public educational institution in this country and even state receives nearly as much public funding as it did a few decades ago).
3: "Energy"
If we delineate between the city & geography (1) and campus & education (2) then three has to be just the energy, and the stuff satellite to those things that complete the experience. Davis really is the school best positioned to say to each their own. I am a person that learns best off of good examples and influences, but that didn't hobble me much here, unlike what I expected. The people are a representation of that "to each..." mantra. You can find plenty of uber passionate, talented and hardworking people here. You can find quite a few extremely fratty people,, the spice of life maybe lmao. You can find many people that just want their quiet consistent little groups. And you can find people that don't care, or just don't care yet. And the most beautiful, you can find people in the middles of those.
The fact that you can find all those populations in equal or at least broadly proportionate amounts is striking, and what makes Davis, Davis. No other university I personally know in California, in the West or East Coast, in the UK or continental Europe is quite like that. Especially with the aforementioned regional amenities pack here. You cannot go wrong with this school. I can see at worst people saying that you can, I have been in moods to say that for sure, but that's a fleeting impression most likely born out of staying in your comfort zone too much. If you need to be poked hella, yeah perhaps you'll need to remember that so you don't slide into the uneventful side of the place, but it's beneficial to have that there in some times.
There's a healthy amount of frats partying, downtown buzzed on all appropriate nights, though I did want more, we now have regular fresh churro stands at night which slaps, there's clubs living it up in their own fields, more than enough new places to eat/study at, lots and lots of classes to try (check out the California Aggie Best Of articles,,, and the California Aggie in general, as a former employee, the paper rocks), lots of credentialed professors, lots of assholes lots of sweethearts (ratemyprof as always), so much campus space to explore and enjoy, and the cherry on top, you don't like that? Here's San Franfuckingsisco an ~ hour away car or no car. Here's Lake goddamn Tahoe just two hours away for a literal privileged lifetime supply of nature and snow sports, and just for fun, here's Yosemite three hours away. A comfortable fun weekend destination. And something like Lake Berryessa 30 min away.
Another shoutout to Sac airport — you receive one of my most favorable airport reviews globally. And you're ~26 minutes away from The Green when I'm not speeding. (The slander on the Green, is utter bs. I'm surprised just as you that it is, but it is all just fake news. Just don't pick the room next to the trash,, or the 1st floor in my personal view. Bugs and noise. Also it literally runs almost 100% on solar, how cool).
Conclusion:
No university is as well positioned as this one to make the world feel like your oyster.
If you are just willing to push a little, consistently. Sure, it's not a "statement" youve made it school that just offers itself on a silver platter. But you can make that silver platter on your own. Fuck it make a golden one even. On academics especially, again, it IS a statement school for some majors, and unlike most times this phrase is used, it does trickle down. As a Greek I love and habitually stereotype (and then being proved wrong is a bonus),,, I can't stereotype Davis. Probably the 2nd-3rd time I say that ever. At least not as a whole. There's too many sizeable factions of wildly different lifestyles. Cows? Love em, yeah we're in gorgeous farmland, but we're also home to Picnic Day (one of California's holy trinity of social college events, for good reason) Lawntopia, the Whole Earth Festival, next to Sac and a bit out from The City. Barhopping is far, far from world class in the post-covid era but rebounding and, if there's a pirate themed bar with free caricatures and way too strong cocktails, how bad can it really be? If you're not here for STEM, sure your professors aren't in the news but don't think it's not a competitive job to land here, and that you're not better off as a student with them not being primadonas. The campus itself, with a bike ofc, nothing less than a chef's kiss. Make sure you get in a sunset or a few at the parking structure.
Actual Conclusion:
I will say nothing more but a close and an addition that there's still so, so much more. This is a BIG university that gives. So much. It's so American in that you reach for what you want (though of course we're very liberal and there's so many good people, staff here to help you. Shoutout to my girl Saira Delgado for PoliSci counseling). But as in previous-century Americana especially, the more you reach for here, the exponentially more you get than in other places.
So reach, refuse too small a comfort zone, but stay true to yourself, this is your life you're in the middle of. This is a school that will make you grow in any way you show you want to.
We don't appreciate balanced environments, adaptable to your own preferences enough.
To quote & slightly paraphrase the end of my favorite trilogy as I also say goodbye to this university,
Take what you can, leave nothing behind.

tldr looking for primary pistol as a newcomer
Hello, i’m pretty new to airsoft as i’ve only played a handful of times and the only experience i have gun wise is crappy rentals or borrowing my friends guns. i’ve decided that it’s about time to purchase one of my own. i don’t think i will make many mods just yet so im looking for a good stock performance pistol. after looking online based off some suggestions from my friends i landed on the ssp-5 which was heavily recommended (without hands on experience) the reviews done by influencers have been pretty good too but they’re all about a year old and there have been some criticisms on this subreddit. im here for you guys to sell me on this gun or maybe point me in a different direction (budget 200-300 maybe bump it up a bit for accessories).

Hi there
I have never been in a relationship ever, and I want to try and fix that. Dating apps are not a good solution since I have been using them for years, but I received very little luck from them so I am on here to to find someone from anywhere in the world who can make a long distance relationship work, and maybe someone who also was never in a relationship before, but anyone is welcome to message.
So here is some info about me. My name is Brian, I am a 26 year old dude, and I am from Newfoundland located on the far east coast of Canada. I have high-functioning autism so I do struggle with communication sometimes, and I consider myself a introverted, reserved, and kind person. My hobbies and interests includes gaming on my PC alone or with friends, playing with my black cat Rudy, I listen to any genre of music as long as the song sounds nice to me, I like cooking, I like walking, jogging or hiking, and I like meeting new people online.
My physical characteristics are that I am 5'10, 170 pounds, brown hair and hazel eyes. I consider myself compassionate, understanding, sweet, and caring. I would like someone who is also sweet and caring as well.
So what am I looking for on here? Well I am looking for mainly a long-term girlfriend online from anywhere in the world or where I am located which is Newfoundland (Anyone from St. John's or farther than that receives bonus points) who does not live with their parents still, be ages 18 to 28, and be interested in also doing voice calls since texting all the time gets boring, and makes me feel like you are not real so I definitely prefer voice calls more. I prefer to swap pictures sooner than later since there has to be some physical attraction as well.
I hope to hear from you soon :)

Hi folks, throwaway account in case my developer friends are in this sub...
We're dealing with a bit of a frustrating stormwater situation at our house in Brisbane. Apologies for the long story, it's starting to get complicated.
TL;DR developers are trying to railroad us into paying for repairs to private stormwater pipes on our property, rather than negotiating reasonable compensation to build a new pipe through our yard.
We have a council stormwater pipe that runs from the front of our property through the back and down to the next street. There is a private stormwater pipe (not owned by Council or Urban Utilities) running from up the hill, traversing about 6 neighbouring properties down to the main council pipe on our property. There are no easements on our title for either of these pipes. We think the private stormwater lines were probably laid around 100 years ago and as far as we can tell, receive very little (if any) stormwater runoff right now.
Developers have purchased the two blocks next door and are building two giant houses, including digging directly through the original pipes on their land, destroying them and leaving an opening to the pipe on our property on their side of the fence.
About a month ago they approached us to say they were planning to dig a trench through our backyard to reroute the old private stormwater line on their property to the main council pipe on our property. They put this to us as though they were doing us a favour, and basically just told us they'd let us know when it would be done.
We told them we'd consider it if they met a few basic conditions, one of these being that they pay us some compensation. They declined this offer and said that they would instead route a pipe back up the hill (with a pump...) to connect to the existing private pipe on our property. However, they would first need to inspect our pipe to make sure it was suitable for a new connection.
They've now inspected the pipe and found that it's damaged and not fit for a new connection (part of why we suspect nobody has been using it, since I think we would have noticed water issues if water was flowing through it). They've come to us with two options:

1. We repair the pipe and pay for it, since it's on our land and supposedly our problem.

OR

1. They go ahead with their original plan to dig up our backyard but with none of our (very reasonable) conditions eg, no compensation, they won't even reinstate our landscaping.

They've said that if we do nothing, they'll just reconnect to the existing damaged pipe and have essentially threatened to flood our property if we don't do what they want. I doubt a qualified plumber would connect to a damaged pipe like this (surely that's negligent) but they seem to think they're going to do it.
We've spoken to a variety of people including the council, and as we understand it, we do not have to allow them to connect to the damaged, private stormwater line on our property. As I mentioned above, there is no easement for this pipe, and council have confirmed that we can cut the pipe and cap it given it's not currently being used and it's our privately owned pipe. However, the developer says they have the right to connect to the pipe (not sure where this idea comes from) and that we have to maintain it for them.
I understand that water flows downhill and stormwater has to be managed. I'm not suggesting I don't want pipes. However, it's a condition of their DA that they manage stormwater to not create a nuisance to neighbouring properties, and so (IMO) it's on them to work out a way to do that (and pay for it). They can't just connect to a damaged pipe, or expect us to pay to fix it for them. They have other options (offer us reasonable compensation to run a new pipe through our backyard) or even go through the neighbours' backyards at the back. As far as I can tell, they're just trying to get out of this as cheaply as possible, and they think they can railroad us into doing what they want by convincing us they're doing us a favour and telling us they have the right to connect to the old private pipe.
So, what can we do to resolve this? Do they have some kind of implied easement and right of access just because the pipes have been there for a long time? What would you do in this situation? Thanks in advance for any advice.

I couldn't resist a Futurama quote.
Well, here we are. Again. I got super excited about something that happened, tried to recreate that magic, and nothing. Not even an acknowledgement. It's stupid, I know. I should never have expected lightning to strike twice, but... I guess it's hard not to, eh?
And I know I probably freaked them out. Like, probably coming off as a stalker. I admit, I was motivated by selfish reasons. I wanted a link, a connection, no matter how tenuous. The ability to say "I know them", and have them know me, even just a little.
I'm a pathetic little fool, I know that. Even now, after all these years of life lessons, I still have these childish moments of "maybe this time...". Maybe this time I can have my 'Main Character' moment. And not in a "the world must pay attention to me" way, just in a "hey, look, this crazy coincidence that happens to everyone else finally happened to me!" or "I finally caught a break!"
So now I sit here, feeling demoralised and utterly foolish. Humiliated, even, and angry at myself. What the hell was I thinking? Of course it wasn't going to work; it never does. I don't have MC energy. I'm an NPC in the world, greeting adventurers as they go about their exciting lives. I am not my sister, I don't have the magic power of entropy and/or luck.
I am an NPC. I am an NPC. I am an NPC. I need to remember my place, and be content with it.
I just wish...
ETA: And the worst worst part? I wrote this in the hopes I'd somehow manage to kinda jinx myself. Like, I'd write this post and then something good would happen; I'd get the response I wanted. How pathetic is that? Still holding on to that last remnant of hope. Why can't I just accept that I'm a nobody, and always will be? Why do I feel the need to try and make these stupid connections? The longer I keep hoping for this shit, the more I'm only going to end up hurting myself.
They say Pandora opened the box and let negativity out into the world, but managed to keep hope trapped, as though hope is a good thing. It's not. As the Dowager Countess of Grantham states, "hope is a tease designed to prevent us from accepting reality." I hate hope. It destroys me every time. Even when I hope for something small, like good weather or striking up a nice conversation with a random person, I'm still disappointed. Every fucking time.
I'm too old to still be hoping for things. Why can't I just accept this is reality, this is going to be my life. It's going to be empty, fruitless and unsatisfying. Just accept it. God, I'm so pathetic.

Hi everyone,
I'm a 23-year-old woman living in London, UK. I graduated with a 2:1 in Exercise, Nutrition, and Health from a respected university. I also spent a year working for the university in community and welfare and became a qualified personal trainer during that time.
After finishing my degree, I wasn't sure what career path to pursue. My degree doesn't qualify me to be a registered nutritionist without a master's, which I'm reluctant to do because I disliked the research component of my degree. I searched for jobs and ended up as a reformer Pilates instructor. While it's been great for personal development, it's a low-paid role, and the company takes a large portion of my 1-1 client payments.
Long-term, I'd love to be self-employed, but it seems like a low-paying path unless I become an influencer or celebrity trainer. I can't see myself earning more than £40,000, and even that would require a lot of effort. Additionally, the work feels quite lonely, with little team interaction, high stress, and a monotonous routine.
I'm looking for guidance on alternative career paths that align with my love for health and fitness but offer better financial stability. Here are a few things about me for context: - I'm very empathetic and enjoy helping people. - I would be happy in an office job if it was meaningful work. - I struggle with self-belief and often feel underqualified.
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!