First Chapter/Previous Chapter
The birds chirped loudly outside and woke Tamara from her sleep. At first, she tried to ignore them and hugged her goose feather pillow hard, but it was pointless. She opened one of her eyes, and her pupil immediately contracted so much that it became paper thin.
While awake, she was in no position to get up; her body was far too cold. Tamara extended her arms and spread herself out on the bed, slowly absorbing the heat from the sunbeams that poured through her window.
As she lay there, she used this time to think.
“Why was it taking longer?” Tamara mumbled half in her head and half through her lips. When she was young, she was adamant that it took half the time; Tamara would ask her mother when she got up.
Slowly but surely, she absorbed more and more heat so that with each passing minute, she became more alert until, finally, she felt uncomfortable, and her skin flushed. It was time to get up.
Tamara slid out of bed and propped herself up; she swayed from side to side like a sapling in a breeze, her eye half open and made her way to a chest of draws. She pulled off her white nighty, shivered slightly in the chilly air, and then rummaged around for a tunic.
“The green one?” she asked herself; she shook her head, “Not today.” In the end, she settled on a crimson top and crawled into it.
Apart from a few hair accessories, this was it. Apart from Samuel, no one for miles wore more than one article of clothing. Besides the drawers was a small table with a chair arranged on the top were several items, a hairbrush with several bronze hairpins, and a collection of small stones; her favourite was a clear, shiny green one all fat at one end which ended in a sharp point at the other. A stack of papers with several writing supplies was at one end of the table.
There were also several figurines carved from wood. They were all gifts from Samuel, but the one she loved most was a terrible attempt at a Lamia; this was the first present she had received from him.
She picked up her hairbrush; she had no mirror. In fact, Tamara had no idea what a mirror was, but she did not need one and began to brush—every time she woke up, her hair appeared as though she had been struck by lightning.
Tamara ran her fingers through her hair, ensuring that she had removed all knots and that her hair was smooth. The hairbrush was placed back on the table, and a few pins were picked up. She took her hair and carefully wrapped her hair into a bun. When she was done, she gave it a few pats to ensure it was satisfactory.
Leaving the table, Tamara took a few moments to make sure she had not forgotten anything. Her room was pretty sparse, just the bed, the table and cupboard, with a small chest underneath the window; it contained several things she no longer needed but did not have the heart to throw away. Lying by its side was the same leather pouch she had used yesterday, but she would not need it today.
She turned around and left the room, gently closing the door behind her. To her left was another window, and to her right a hallway with one other room beside hers. She listened in as she passed the door but could hear no signs of life.
“Mum must be downstairs,” she thought.
At the end of the hall was a set of stairs; a faint but broad mark was visible leading down to the bottom, made by Tamara’s and her mother’s tails. Tamara added to the stairs wear, and as she reached the bottom, Tamara heard, “Finally up?”
The warm, smiling face of her mother, Pancha, was the source. Pancha was a Lamia with the same golden scales and hair. Her face was similar, except that her eyes were hazel instead of emerald green. Her hair came down to her shoulders with two plaits on one side. She wore a purple tunic with the same diamond pattern on the chest.
They both stood in the kitchen. Pancha was in front of a large metal stove beneath a window. The reason was twofold: firstly, they did not have plumbing or a boiler, so all hot water came from the stove, and secondly, it was warm. Tamara sat at the table in the centre of the room and began drumming her fingers on the wood.
“Would you like a drink?” Pancha asked.
Tamara nodded and replied, “Yeah.”
Pancha returned to the stove and filled a clay cup with hot water.
“What flavour, mint, orange, apple?” Tamara stopped for a few moments as she considered her options.
“Umm, apple, please” she answered.
Her mother carefully placed the cup in front of Tamara; there was a fine haze of steam drifting from the water, and floating inside were several slivers of apple peel. She blew on it and took a small sip; the flavour was subtle, and if she had not seen the peel, she would have thought it was plain water.
Pancha sat down opposite her daughter with a similar cup in her hand, except this one was brewing orange peel. This daily ritual was designed to add the last bit of heat that the sun did not provide, and as far as Tamara knew, every Lamia and Cicindeli in the village did it.
Outside the window, a new sound was overcoming that of the birds; it was the unmistakable sound of chatter of people.
“What do we have to do today?” Tamara asked Pancha. “Well, first, we will meet up with Odalinde and Handus in the market.”
“Why not the town hall?” Tamara interrupted.
“Because it’s too warm today,” she replied, “then we will wander about town and ask if anyone has any problems, and after that, we have the last few hours to ourselves.”
Pancha was the representative of her race just as Odalinde was for the Boreray and Handus was for the Cicindeli. They made most of the executive decisions for the village. The last major one was two years ago when Handus called for everyone not to kill Samuel on sight. Tamara was expected to take over from her mother when she was older, just as Pancha had done for Granddad Eesa.
The last few drops of water were gulped down, and the cups were given a quick wash in the sink. The stove was put out, and a small puff of soot dirtied Tamara’s face; she wiped herself down with a washcloth.
They left the kitchen by another door, which led into another hallway. To the left was the sitting room where Tamara and Pancha would spend their evenings and entertain guests. Straight ahead was one final door; beside it was a coat rack with three hooks; the two closest to the door had thick, heavy coats; the third remained vacant.
As Pancha tried to close the front door behind her, the hinge tended to jam a bit; Tamara walked into the middle of the street. Right in front of her house was the home of Mrs Caltha, Mr Davin and one of Tamara’s best friends, Becanda. The house was two stories tall, made from solid wood, usually oak or mahogany, and covered in a waterproof paste to stop the rot from setting in.
In the distance, Tamara could hear a steadily growing noise; this was the market where people met and conducted their business. Tamara felt a tap on her shoulder; she turned to see her mother smiling at her and holding out her hand. Tamara took it, and the two of them headed toward the crowd.
A few streets later, they entered the market, which was packed with Lamias, Cicindeli, and Boreray. People moved from stall to stall, picking up items they needed and chatting with their friends, which was to say, everyone. They ducked and weaved through the crowd, trying their best to avoid the dozens of people who wanted to spark up conversation.
Ahead was a series of benches arranged in a circle; several people were sitting on them talking, but no sign of Handus or Odalinde.
“Mmm, those lazy snails aren’t here yet,” stated Tamara.
Pancha turned to her daughter and said, “Don’t talk about other people like that; it’s very bad.” After which, she smiled and let out a slight snigger.
Pancha and Tamara sat down on a free bench and took the time to enjoy the peace, if not the quiet. People walking past would stop to say hello, ask how they were doing and now that they knew they weren’t late, they could indulge them. Pancha was busy talking with a turquoise Cicindeli woman called Lupita, so Tamara decided to take a little walk.
“Don’t go far!” Pancha called out.
“Yeah, I know” she replied.
At the centre of the bench circle was a giant sundial. It was scarred, carved from granite, and had been here long before Tamara was born. She ran her fingers over the stone despite the warmth of the sun beating down upon it; it was cold to the touch. It was indeed a magnificent thing, beautiful and providing a valuable service, which was a shame because hardly anyone ever noticed it, let alone used it.
Tamara remembered the story her mother had told her: around seventy years ago, there was a Cicindeli man named Lamuel. According to the tale, he was an inquisitive soul, always asking questions and hardly ever satisfied by the answers he got.
One day, he asked, “Why do we only have names for three times of the day morning, midday and night time?” “What about all the bits in between?”
After which, he divided the day into fourteen bits and built this sundial to display them.
However, despite this monumental effort, the only thing anyone had ever said about it was that it was a pretty statue.
As Tamara remembered the story, she also remembered the moral her mother had taught her, “Don’t put effort into pointless things.”
Tamara felt that the story taught two different lessons: people don’t like change, and they never notice a good thing when they have it.
The shadow cast by the gnomon pointed at the second marking on the stone, but there were no symbols, letters or numbers. Until Samuel showed up, they did not exist.
She did not know how long she had been staring at the shadow when someone behind her said, “Seen anything good?” Tamara turned around to see the smiling face of Handus.
Handus was the representative of the Cicindeli. He was a tall, well-built man with deep crimson hair, and the chitin on his arms and leg was the same. Today, Handus was wearing a deep purple tunic; on the chest were five circles stacked on each other.
Just behind him was another Cicindeli, a young man with the same crimson hair wearing a butter yellow tunic with the same pattern on his chest as Handus; his name was Tide, and he was Handus’s son.
“Good morning, Mr Handus,” Tamara said with a smile. “I was just thinking about Lamuel and why he made this,” she added, pointing to the sundial.
“Yes,” replied Handus; he paused for a moment, deep in thought and then continued, “I never knew Lamuel; he was before my time, and I won’t even pretend to understand him, but if I believe there is anyone in this village that can, it would be you.”
“What do you mean?” Tamara asked, a little confused.
“From the stories I have heard, you and Lamuel are a lot alike. You constantly ask what no one else even thinks of, and you always, always try to find your own answers,” Handus clarified.
Tamara was quiet for a few moments until she had a big, broad smile and said: “thank you, Mr Handus.”
Handus nodded and walked over to Pancha while Tide followed behind. She liked Handus; he always knew what to say and was incredibly wise, almost as wise as Samuel.
Now that she had been distracted, she could no longer focus on the sundial, so she headed towards her mother.
“Do you know what is taking Odalinde so long?” Pancha asked Handus.
“Well, if I know her, she will be fussing over Ezra and Wacey,” he said with a chuckle.
Tamara sat down beside Pancha; as she did so, Tide looked at her; he gave her a warm smile and said: “hello, Tamara.”
Tide was fourteen years old, fairly tall for his age, and carried himself with a quiet dignity; when she was younger, Tamara had found this annoying, but gradually, over time, she had come to respect it; it also did not hurt that he was easy on the eyes.
She smiled back and replied, “Hello, did you have a good morning?”
The four of them talked for several minutes, discussing mundane matters, when they were called from behind, “Sorry that we’re a little late. Wacey refused to put her dress on.”
The group turned around to see the flustered face of Odalinde. Protruding from the sides of her head were a pair of cement-coloured horns curling around once in a graceful spiral. Her hair was a gentle gold, only slightly curled and tied into a short ponytail, which was unusual for a Boreray.
Covering her chest was a thick blanket of fluffy golden wool that grew in such a way that it almost resembled a swim top. This wool also appeared on her forearms and lower legs, ending in cloven hooves.
Unlike the Lamias and Cicindeli, Boreray did not wear tunics; instead, whether male or female, they wore a skirt that came down to their knees. Today, Odalinde was sporting a white number, and on its hem were two triangles arranged parallel to one another.
Behind her trailed two others, a girl named Wacey and a boy called Ezra. They were twins and Odalinde’s children. They had the same wool as their mother and a pair of tiny horns on their heads. They had started growing when they turned six and, in the past year, had steadily gotten bigger.
They wore matching dresses, a deep shade of amber with a green symbol on their hems. “I don’t want to wear this dress; I want to wear the green one!” Wacey exclaimed, stamping her hooved foot on the floor.
“Well, tough, and don’t you even think about taking it off, or you won’t get any juice!” Odalinde replied sternly. Wacey said no more but had a deep scowl on her face.
“Well, if that’s all sorted, perhaps we can get started?” Pancha said, smiling at Odalinde.
“Yes, well, let’s begin,” Odalinde replied, clearing her throat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If you like what you've read so far and want to know where it's going you can find the complete story by following the links below.
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Hello!
I hope you're all doing well!
Gonna try to keep this under 40k characters... so, the main event is going to be a bit shorter than usual, so if you have questions about that particular fight (or any, really), let me know and i can expand on thoughts and answer those questions!
Also, if you have feedback about the slightly new format, let me know!
(c) - Champ
D/DWCS - Debut/Dana Whites' Contender Series
FLS - Fight Lose Streak
FWS - Fight Win Streak
NS - No Streak
(#x) - Rank in division
x/3 - Confidence Levels
Lets go!
Prelims
Flyweight
Andre Lima (8-0-0, 8 FWS) v Mitch Raposo (D) (9-1-0, 4 FWS) - I feel for Lima here, three changes in opponent during this entire camp, that can’t be easy for the mental stress, but I do think that this last minute change gives Lima that advantage in preparation and cardio and such.
Lima is coming off quite an interesting debut result, in which his opponent straight up chomped on Lima’s arm. For the most part prior to that unique moment, Lima was doing relatively well on the feet, his boxing was crisp and whilst Severino was being pretty effective with his wrestling and pressure, you can almost see Lima settle in the longer the fight went on, and in the second round, he was finding his punches fairly easily, landing at a 66% rate in that second round. That has always been Lima’s main attribute as a boxer, his accuracy is oftentimes high when he fights, never wasting many shots as he sets his own pace and finds his timing, and it’s going to be relatively effective against Raposo who has a slight disadvantage in reach, and has a rather funky style himself, and sometimes funk is fun, but not when you have a sharp boxer opposite you.
Raposo is someone who tried to get into the UFC a while ago via Dana Whites’ Contender Series, but didn’t quite succeed due to a loss against Jake Hadley. Raposo is a fairly well rounded fighter but from the footage that I have seen, he is mostly a stand up fighter who utilises variations of a two to three punch combination, with a bit of an emphasis on his wide right that he tends to swing from a somewhat loaded up position. Now, I do want to point out in a positive light that he does come from the New England Cartel, and that gym generally produces outstanding strikers, but I just think Raposo is a few steps (or leaps) behind the stars of the gym in Kattar and Font. Now, there are positives for Raposo, he shells up relatively well and he doesn’t stay in firing range the whole time, especially when shelling up, he circles away whilst keeping his guard up. The one thing I cannot help but notice though is how exposed his body is to attacks, he isn’t that adaptable when it comes to his defences, and whilst he has a very typical high shell, I can just see Lima exposing the body with strong punches, and given that Raposo isn’t quite prepared properly for a fight against Lima, those body punches could shut him down. Now, Raposo does have a strong right hand, the one he tends to wind up and throw from the same angle at the same speed and such, but once it lands it could certainly cause trouble for Lima.
Lima has incredible potential in the UFC, his boxing is very sharp and I do think that the fact he has been preparing for a fight for quite some time now shows that he has the cardio and the durability to perhaps outlast Raposo, especially if those body shots that I predict will be there, land effectively. I almost want to make him a 2/3 confidence pick, but since he’s new to the UFC, and Raposo does have a bit of danger himself, I don’t feel comfortable putting him that high of a confidence pick. This is a fun first fight of the night.
Lima via KO R2 - (1/3)
Women’s Bantamweight
Joselyne Edwards (+210) (13-5-0, NS) v Ailin Perez (-265) (9-2-0, 2 FWS)
Edwards has had an interesting time in the UFC, she has had rather lacklustre performances against some of the more lower skilled fighters in the division. Edwards was introduced to us fans as a kickboxer from Panama, and for the most part her performances have echoed that style of kickboxing, but she walks into two metaphorical brick walls which hinder her performances. First, her cardio tends to fall apart relatively quickly, she does look fatigued after the second round, heck, even during it, and I do think considering Perez’s skillset is heavily wrestling based, that the fatigue problems will be a bit more prevalent, but that also tends to lead to a different issue that Edwards walks into, and that’s her weight. See, Edwards missed weight a few times in the UFC so far, and whilst those issues on the scales are perhaps anomalous to those two incidences, it does somewhat connect with her fatigue problems, she carries a lot of weight on fight day and that’s all a major contributor to exhaustion and fatigue. As for her record, it’s been stated many times, but she’s been gifted quite a few scorecards… She arguably lost to Pascual, Pudilova and even went to a split decision against Kim Ji-yeon. To say her record is pretty sketchy is putting it lightly. Her style is pretty standard for a boxer or kickboxer, she often strings together decent combinations with a fair bit of power given her size, but her major weakness is defending takedowns, and given that Perez is perhaps the first major wrestler that she is going to face, I suspect she’s going to be struggling to defend those takedowns, especially the longer the fight goes on, when that fatigue problem kicks in (if it kicks in).
Perez on the other hand is slightly more newer to the UFC, having had her debut at 145 against Egger before moving back down to 135 to take on Ashlee Evans-Smith and Pudilova, and it was in those two fights that we truly saw what Perez is capable of. Perez is very dependent on her takedowns, she does not strike a whole lot on her feet, she often uses some strikes to close the distance then level changes for a takedown or a judo throw, in which she then unleashes a lot of ground strikes, and it’s a bit obvious to me that she is going to utilise that exact style against the much taller and longer Edwards. Now, the longer this fight remains on the feet, the more chance Edwards has of pulling away with a win, but I only say that because I know that Edwards is going to have a striking advantage, but her kicks perhaps would be shut down by the wrestling threat of Perez.
This is very much a wrestler versus striker bout, and whilst you might argue that Edwards has shown some wrestling in her last fight against Cornolle, it’s important to know that Cornolle most definitely was not a wrestler so those takedowns would have been relatively easy, and there’s no doubt that Edwards has worked on her wrestling just so she is a more well rounded individual. I still firmly believe that Perez is going to get a win here through her wrestling, and the longer the fight goes on, the more Edwards is most likely to feel that fatigue. I am predicting a KO here, but it is going to be one of those ground and pound TKO’s. It’s also very possible this fight goes the distance so if you want to place a bet, either double chance this one or just have it go o2.5 or something.
Perez via KO R3 - (2/3)
Welterweight
Mickey Gall (+225) (7-5-0, 2 FLS) v Bassil Hafez (-290) (8-4-1, NS) - There is honestly not a lot to say about this one, Gall is severely overrated and a bit of a failed product of the Lookin’ for a fight show, and Hafez still has quite a lot to show us given he went three rounds against future contender Jack Della Maddalena.
Gall is coming off back to back losses over two years ago, so not only is he coming into this fight with a tough losing streak on his record, but those two years away are certainly muddying the waters a bit here. Anyway, Gall is mostly a submission artist, he somewhat thrives on the ground, although that would be a major gamble given the fact that Hafez is very wrestling oriented, and I mean, let's be honest, as long as a wrestler is in top control, it’s very rarely that they get submitted, and it’s not like Gall is some high level BJJ fighter with an impeccable record, he is just someone who has been given somewhat name-worthy opponents and that’s practically it. Gall's best chance to win this fight is on the ground, he needs to stick to his guns in this fight and be incredibly active on the ground or Hafez is going to shut down all of the submission attempts and just smother Gall in pressure. There is a possibility of Gall being somewhat effective on the feet, but a lot of his striking is fairly standard, often really using his grappling over anything else to get a win. One thing I don’t particularly like seeing when it comes to Gall’s striking is he is very still and perhaps too calm when he’s standing in front of someone, he doesn’t move his head a lot and his lead leg is often very out there and exposed, and whilst he does have quite a bit of power in his hands, I just don’t think he’s that capable of being a strong striker, his best skillset really is his BJJ. He is often quick to tie up his opponent or at least grab for a guillotine, and that guillotine will be there for him the more Hafez looks for takedowns, that will probably be the main threat coming from Gall for Hafez in my opinion.
Hafez has only one fight in the UFC but it was against one of the toughest opponents one can possibly debut against in Jack Della Maddalena, and whilst Hafez was simply outmatched on the feet, he persevered and still looked for those takedowns that he very much needed. It is the style of Hafez that will test Gall in this fight, because if Hafez attempted 20 takedowns against JDM who has exceptional takedown defence, I just think Hafez is going to have a bit of an easier time against Gall who is mostly a BJJ fighter who typically has terrible takedown defence, and I mean, this is something i’ve gone on and on about many times before, a good wrestler is a lot better than a good BJJ fighter, and whilst this is not exactly a case of Gall being a good BJJ fighter and Hafez being a good wrestler, that style clash is basically the same. Even if Gall does put up a good defence/offence on the ground, I do think Hafez and his grappling skillset is more than enough to deal with it. Hafez has gorgeous double leg takedowns, I mean, look at this beautiful takedown he used just seconds into his debut against JDM, he can do this over and over again, and realistically, he just needs to do this for the first two rounds, then he pretty much gets a win, but I think it’s going to be a relatively one sided wrestling attack by Hafez, and a few defensive submission attempts by Gall like guillotines or arm triangles off his back.
This is a great fight to be honest, I was rather impressed by the grit and determination of Hafez, he was getting torn up on the feet by JDM but still was willing to try and wrestle, resulting in a split decision loss, but an immeasurable amount of experience gained. I think Hafez gets a win here, but I only say that because I just don’t know how Gall is going to look coming off of a two year hiatus. We have sometimes seen insane improvements from fighters who take a few years off, so it’s possible Gall could look incredibly good, but based on what I know for “certain”, I think Hafez has this one.
Hafez via UD - (1/3)
Welterweight
Niko Price (+210) (15-7-0, 2 FLS) v Alex Morono (-260) (24-9-0, NS)
Morono is coming off a fairly competitive back and forth fight against McGee, and whilst he got the win, he didn’t look too great in there in all honesty. Morono does quite a few things with his striking that looks very funky and silly, he plods around a lot, his open elbow stance leaves him very open to being attacked, which often plays into his speed advantage in his fights as he can easily retaliate very quickly and land some thunderous punches. Morono is a very powerful boxer and he often uses a very quick left body or inside/outside leg kick with his boxing combinations just to add more sting to the sequence. However, as much as I find his striking style to be very unorthodox, what I do love about him is his grappling. Morono has ridiculously good BJJ, and whilst he doesn’t have the best takedown defence to take full control of his grappling ability, he is very, very good off his back. During his fight against Court McGee, he jumped the Guillotine, and whilst he didn’t successfully submit McGee, he was proactive in chasing an armbar off his back instead… It is the activity off the bottom that makes him a dangerous grappler and it’s always great to see. Now, Morono most likely has a fairly big power advantage here, and given that Price is coming off back to back KO losses, there is some question about whether or not his chin is durable enough to handle the right hand of Morono, and boy that right hand is a tough one to deal with.
Price is indeed coming off a KO loss against Robbie Lawler, and whilst it’s a tough loss for anyone, I do think that he still offers a great deal of threat for Morono, and whilst one might imagine the threat is going to be mostly his punching power, volume and other delicious words, I firmly believe that Price is going to chew up the legs of Morono very early and very often. Price is a fantastic leg kicker, he lands about one third of his strikes to the legs most of the time, and given that Morono is a very “plodding” stance fighter, I just cannot help but imagine that Price is going to land phenomenal leg kicks throughout this fight. However, the counter for leg kicks is, as we all should know by now, a power side attack, and if Price gets hit by that right hand, the momentum could shift very quickly. Now, if the fight ends up on the ground, I do think that Morono is going to swarm Price with overwhelming pressure and activity, given that Morono has excellent BJJ, and Price isn’t exactly that well versed on the ground.
As long as Price avoids the grappling and wrestling of Morono, he has a solid chance to win this fight, but I do think if he attacks the legs early and slows down the forward aggression of Morono, he could pull out an upset here, but that’s a bit of a big order given the threat of Morono’s quick one-two and his ability to utilise a wide range of attacks throughout all three rounds. This is very much a 50/50 fight though, I don’t feel confident at all in either fighter to win, and whilst I think Morono has more tools and more pathways to victory, Price could indeed surprise us this weekend.
Morono via UD - (1/3)
Welterweight
Phil Rowe (+135) (10-4-0, NS) v Jake Matthews (-165) (19-7-0, NS) - This is certainly a fascinating fight, but the first thing that screams at me is the size difference between Rowe and Matthews.
Rowe is coming off a back and forth, relatively slow and unimpressive fight against Magny, and whilst the fight took place in the clinch for the large majority of the fight, I did enjoy watching him use his reach by throwing that quick one-two down the pipe, and its that one-two that is going to be fairly problematic for Matthews given the fact that Rowe has an 8 inch reach advantage. I do believe that if Rowe keeps this fight clean, he has a major advantage here, but there is a glaring problem that I can see Matthews expose, and that’s the lack of defence that Rowe has. Whilst his ranged attacks are relatively effective, I do not like how hittable he is because he does not use footwork a lot, he just stands in front of his opponents target zone, kind of eating punches whilst trying to maintain his range. This is a problem for Rowe in this fight because Matthews is the type to push forward at a strong pace and let his own hands go effectively. Rowe has a phenomenal right hand, it is very accurate and thanks to the reach advantage, I don’t think he needs to show it off too much for it to be effective, he would just need to pop it out there in order to have it land. Now, Magny did make the fight gritty in the third round when they fought, and I did notice that whenever a pocket exchange is initiated, Rowe is on the receiving end of the harder shots, and that is primarily due to his lack of footwork and evasive movement in that particular bout, and whilst he did underperform during his fight against Magny, I do think he has the sharper, straighter punches that could be problematic for Matthews if Matthews is unable to close the distance and enter the pocket effectively.
Matthews is coming off a tough loss against Michael Morales, and it was in that fight that we saw Matthews get hit the most in his UFC career, receiving 84 significant strikes, although I think it’s fair to say that Matthews’ incredible defence allowed him to absorb those significant strikes without much serious damage. Matthews’ defence is actually one of the most impressive things I have seen, he shells up so effectively whilst leaving his stance open enough for aggressive retaliation. Everything Matthews throws comes with him immediately shelling up and moving off the centre line, he is impeccable with his defensive timing, and whilst he has been stumbled and rocked before, he has never really been in dire trouble. I do see Matthews using his overhand left followed by a quick duck followed by a straight right, that is his best entrance for the pocket and it is something he has used incredibly well against Morales. It is this exact style which makes his fight against Rowe a phenomenal match up because we have seen Rowe struggle when an opponent enters range, and I think Matthews is a lot more quick and explosive with forward momentum than Magny is. Plus, it helps that Matthews is such a gritty fighter, constantly moving forward and putting on strong pressure even if he gets hit, and that’s mostly due to his defence, he is just so good at absorbing and blocking damage whilst moving forward.
It honestly is a bit of a story between who can initiate their gameplan a bit better. For Rowe, he needs to be active at range, on the feet, he needs to use that quick one-two to freeze up Matthews and just eventually find the chin, because the chin is there, especially if feints are involved because Matthews does instinctively shell up a lot when something is coming his way, feint or otherwise. However, I do see Matthews making this a chaotic fight, especially since he loves to enter the range by weaving into the pocket, where Rowe is perhaps at his most uncomfortable. I got Matthews winning this one, I think his experience is going to shine here, as well as the fact that his defensive habits are going to be pivotal in mitigating a lot of the dangerous shots coming his way. I am not very confident in Matthews, I do see Rowe being dangerous at range still, but I just think Matthews ability to enter the pocket here is going to be the main story here.
Matthews via UD - (1/3)
Lightweight
Grant Dawson (#15) (-320) (20-2-1, NS) v Joe Solecki (+250) (13-4-0, NS)
Dawson is coming off a rough KO loss against Bobby Green, and that was always going to be one of the main outcomes for that fight since Green has excellent boxing, and thankfully for Dawson, that boxing or striking threat will be mostly gone here since Solecki isn’t at all a striker. Dawson is a very well rounded fighter who is incredibly effective on the ground, he is someone who is able to keep up a high pace of activity and still have enough cardio to be explosive, and I do think that the UFC is kind of making this fight a “comeback” fight for Dawson because I honestly don’t think Solecki has enough of an all round threat to make this interesting for Dawson. Dawson is going to employ the same strategy he has done in almost all of his fights, and that’s wrestle and control, he is so good at maintaining advantageous positions on the ground and the longer he is in top control, the worse it is for Solecki whose only chance to win this fight is to find a submission off his back, but since Dawson has ridiculously good wrestling and grappling himself, I think he can see any set up that Solecki attempts coming. On the feet I could say Dawson has the advantage here, but I don’t think a lot of the fight is going to take place on the feet, I think there’s going to be a lot of wrestling involved with Dawson being in the better positions.
Solecki is a sneaky fighter though, and whilst he has had some underwhelming fights, I do think the threat of his submissions are going to be fairly prevalent. I don’t think those submissions are going to land. Now, I will put a major disclaimer here saying I have struggled to find a lot of “working” tape for Solecki, and I have been unable to find what submission attempts he used against Alex Da Silva when they fought two years ago, I only bring this up because I believe Solecki is active off his back and if he is lucky he could at least make Dawson’s control time a bit more difficult, but I still don’t think Solecki has that kind of threat to catch Dawson in anything, so whilst he might be active off his back and in the guard, it’s going to be the kind of activity that results in Dawson just adjusting over and over.
I don’t really have much else to say about this one, Dawson is the better all round fighter and a much better wrestler, and I do think that whilst both fighters have outstanding BJJ, Solecki’s submission output could make it a bit gritty for Dawson, but this isn’t new for Dawson, Dawsons faced excellent grapplers before (Ismagulov, Madsen and Gordon to name his recent wins). Dawson should win this one in my opinion.
Dawson via UD - (2/3)
Middleweight
Roman Kopylov (-135) (12-3-0, NS) v Cesar Almeida (+115) (5-0-0, 5 FWS)
Kopylov is coming off a tough submission loss against Alexander Hernandez, and it was a competitive fight up until that point. One thing that I like about Kopylov is his diversity with striking, he is ridiculously quick on the feet for a Middleweight and that allows him to simply flick out anything and there’s some certainty that it’s going to land. He has a very quick and sneaky lead leg kick that he often uses to change target very quickly, usually kicking the leg then following up with a left straight, instead of what we see in typical combinations where the leg kick is the final attack in a sequence. Kopylov does get hit a lot, and he does leave his right hand a bit far from his face, which makes me think that Almeida and his fantastic left hook is going to be a major problem for Kopylov. However, Kopylov does have some grappling in his arsenal, although we have yet to see it in the UFC, but since he is a multiple time sambo champion, I can’t help but think that he is going to be using his wrestling a fair bit in this fight, especially since he is facing one hell of a dangerous kickboxer, it would only make some sense, right? Now, on the feet, there are two attacks that Kopylov is going to put a major emphasis on, that is the liver body kick (left roundhouse) and the left straight, those two attacks are going to be his most damaging and I do wonder how effective it will be in slowing down Almeida.
Almeida is coming off a strong debut win against Budka, and whilst Budka isn’t exactly a tough debut, he still managed to test Almeida a little bit on the ground. However, as I highlighted in my last write up about Almeida, his defensive grappling is very, very good, he has adapted exceptionally well to MMA. Now, Almeida is one hell of a dangerous kickboxer, he is stupendously sharp on the feet and he is tight with his combinations, and it is for that reason alone that I think Kopylov needs to wrestle in this fight, use his Sambo to mix it up and make it frustrating for Almeida. Now, Almeida is outstanding at all ranges, but I think he excels in the pocket where he can land his tight left hook, a left hook that’s eerily similar to Pereira, it’s just a clean left hook that has no read and a lot of power behind it, and I think Kopylov is going to have to be the first one to start the action in order to not let Almeida settle in to throw that hook.
This is going to be a fantastic fight though, and honestly a fascinating match up for Kopylov who, up until this moment, only faced standard MMA strikers who throw big power with not that much technique, so this is going to be fascinating. Going with the underdog here, but it will absolutely not be a high confidence pick.
Almeida via KO R2 - (1/3)
Main Card
Welterweight
Randy Brown (-155) (18-5-0, 2 FWS) v Elizeu Zaleski (+130) (24-7-1, 1D/2FWS) - This is going to be absolutely awesome.
Brown is coming off a fantastic KO over highly touted kickboxing veteran Muslim Salikhov, and despite the fact that Brown did defeat Salikhov, it did not come without a lot of damage coming his way. Brown suffers a little bit from what a lot of longer and taller fighters suffer from, and that's a lack of fundamental striking defence, his range and reach is his defence, if someone can penetrate that reach difference and enter the pocket, then Brown is a vulnerable target in that moment. However, when Brown is at range and he’s in the zone, he is incredible. His long jab is his best weapon, he uses it to both damage his opponent and to set up subsequent punches, and these shots aren’t always the same, there are so many permutations of that same set up, as soon as you see Brown throw more than one jab, you know he is setting up a clean combination. However, he has shown a bit of a weakness and that’s his legs, he is so easy to leg kick due to his height and size, his lead leg is ripe for the taking and there is little doubt in my mind that Zaleski is going to chew up those legs early, as that was the game plan for Salikhov before that one-one-two combination came his way at ridiculous speeds.
Zaleski is coming off a draw against Rinat Fakhretdinov, and very early on we saw Zaleski struggle with the pressure and power of Fakhretdinov. That pressure and power is not exactly the style of fighting that Brown utilises, Brown is a lot more patient and systematic with his approach, never pressuring his opponent but keeping a constant pace of a wide sort of attacks. Zaleski has ridiculous power in his hands though and he has the speed and explosiveness to enter the pocket and land those dangerous punches that are going to land whenever he is going to enter the pocket during this bout. However, Zaleski does not have the best defence, he often leaves his hands a bit low, and whilst that’s great for an explosive overhand or a quick burst of action that’s hard to read, I don’t think that’s a good kind of defence when you’re fighting someone who has a 5 inch reach advantage and a 4 inch height advantage. Zaleski is not a safe fighter, he is here to perform and look for highlights, he is an incredible finisher, but he is also reckless, he is also susceptible to getting hurt, and whilst he did exceptionally well against Fakhretdinov, that was mostly due to Fakhretdinov’s predictable attacks. Now, Fakhretdinov threw the same attacks over and over, and since that same attack was the one that dropped Zaleski, he kept using that same thing. In order to be effective in any combat sport, especially against a veteran, you need to have different combinations, and that’s exactly what Brown has, he has such a wide range of attacks, including his very snappy front and head kicks, so there is little doubt that Zaleski is going to be somewhat overwhelmed on the feet if Brown finds his groove early on.
This is a fantastic fight, perhaps one of the best fights on this card, I expect there to be fireworks and a lot of adjustments as the rounds go on, but I do think that Brown is going to get a win here, his reach and height advantage gives him a lot of additional set ups and effective strikes, those front kicks up the middle could be effective given the loose shell of Zaleski, and those long one-two punches that Brown uses are just beautiful to watch. This is going to be awesome. Now, before I get to the prediction… Zaleski has the right tools to make this messy enough to get a win here, so there will be an alt bet here for a Zaleski Points/KO Double Chance.
Brown via UD - (1/3)
Heavyweight
Jailton Almeida (#6) (-300) (20-3-0, NS) v Alexandr Romanov (#14) (+240) (17-2-0, NS)
Almeida is coming off a KO loss against Blaydes just a few months ago, and I mean, losing to someone like Blaydes isn’t too big of a deal since Blaydes is a genuine talent in the division, but I do wonder how Almeida has improved since that loss. Almeida is a very grapple heavy fighter who has torn through a division full of unathletic brawlers, and now he is facing fighters who have a very similar style and skill set that he has, which makes this fight all that more interesting because I have been very high on Romanov in recent years, mostly due to his style being unique in the heavyweight division. Almeida has ridiculous cardio for someone at heavyweight, and whilst you could argue that his lay and pray style does not really reflect great cardio… how often are we going to see Blaydes get taken down 9 of 13 times. 13 fucking attempts against someone who has one of the best wrestling backgrounds in the UFC at heavyweight? Almeida’s wrestling is going to be a problem for a lot of people, even as we move up the division, but it comes at a cost. Almeida is very one dimensional, he has a heavy reliance on those takedowns, and if he doesn’t get them, you get a repeat of what Blaydes did to him. On the feet I don’t see a lot happening, Almeida has shown to be a bit more free with his boxing, only to open up his opponent to takedowns, and that could very well be the gameplan for Almeida this weekend, box a little then shoot for a takedown, and it could be effective against Romanov who is a bit more one dimensional than Almeida.
Romanov has somewhat stagnated a tiny bit in his career, with a not-very-recent win over Blagoy Ivanov, and for the most part it was a strong showing of his wrestling ability and strength, however I do question the quality of opponent that Romanov has defeated in comparison to Almeida’s… It seems that Almeida has been given the more star-power names whereas Romanov has been climbing the ranks in a more natural way. Anyway, I like Romanov, but I genuinely don’t think he is going to fare well against someone like Almeida. If an old 40+ year old in Espino can out wrestle Romanov, there is no doubt that a younger and perhaps more athletic fighter in Almeida can replicate that same kind of style and just overwhelm Romanov. Romanov is a strong competitor though so I think there might be enough resistance in the wrestling department to make this fight a long, gruelling one.
A very fun clash of similar styles here, which I find pretty important since Almeida is a very impressive fighter, and I think the more we see him take on opponents with a similar style to himself, the more we get to see what he is truly capable of. I got Almeida winning this one, it should be a fun fight!
Almeida via UD - (2/3)
Middleweight
Kevin Holland (-250) (25-11-0, 2 FLS) v Michal Oleksiejczuk (+200) (19-7-0, NS) - Oh man do I love this fight.
Holland is coming off back to back losses against JDM and MVP (Jack Della Maddalena and Michael “Venom” Page”), and whilst back to back losses could easily make people dismiss Holland, I do want to bring up how competitive his fight against JDM was, and how durable and tough he was when MVP was taking his soul in what was such a brilliant display of unorthodox kickboxing. Holland has always been a game fighter, he has a chin that allows him to hang in there with the hardest hitters, and he is genuinely a very skilled fighter who has outstanding boxing and such an expert at range and luring his opponent into an angle that gives him an advantage. Holland is coming back up to 185 after a fun stint at 170, and since Oleksiejczuk has very little wrestling threat, I am excited to see if we witness Holland be himself once again, because prior to his losses against Brunson and Vettori at 185, he was a dangerous fighter. Holland has a substantial reach advantage coming into this fight which is only going to shine even more when Oleksiejczuk tries to box him in a typical boxing range. Holland is also a fairly experienced grappler, he has quite a few submissions on his record and I do think that if he wants the path of least resistance when fighting Oleksiejczuk, he is going to look for that takedown and find a submission. However, that’s not how Holland fights, he is a crowd pleaser and is most likely going to want to keep this fight standing so he can land his quick combinations at range and just put away Oleksiejczuk that way.
Oleksiejczuk is coming off a tough sub loss against Pereira, and I honestly learnt nothing else about him during that fight, he was still looking for those heavy punches, and he still had somewhat bad takedown defence. I do think that Oleksiejczuk’s best chance to win this fight is to put Holland away, but it’s just a bit of a tall order because if Holland couldn’t get knocked out by the ridiculous power of MVP, I don’t think Oleksiejczuk is going to achieve that success that MVP tried to chase. The reach disadvantage is going to be fairly prominent here too, it’s going to make Oleksiejczuk rush in a little bit with some explosive forward movement in order to cover the distance, but Holland is so good at crowding punches and being hard to hit that I just don’t think Oleksiejczuk is going to land too cleanly on Holland.
With that said, I’ve always been a fan of Holland so maybe there is a bit of bias here, but I think Holland wins this one, i’m just mostly curious to see how he looks when he returns to 185 this weekend.
Holland via KO R2 - (2/3)
Co-Main Event
Middleweight
Sean Strickland (#2) (-205) (28-6-0, NS) v Paulo Costa (#8) (+170) (14-3-0, NS)
Strickland is coming off a very competitive fight against Dricus Du Plessis, and whilst he arguably won that fight, what I was most impressed with was the little amount of damage he absorbed, even by one of the most powerful punchers in DDP, and if Strickland could absorb that little amount of damage from DDP, I can only think that he is going to be relatively fine against Costa. Strickland does struggle a little bit in turning up the pressure when pressure is needed, he does have a bit of a predictable style which has been talked about for ages, but it’s a style that works, and if he sets a high pace of steady volume and walks Costa back throughout the fight, he can easily win this fight. The only thing that Strickland needs to be careful of is the power of Costa coming back his way.
Costa is coming off a tough loss against Whittaker, and whilst he did display that power late into the first round, he struggled to keep up with the speed and footwork of Whittaker. Now, the good news for Costa is that Stricklands footwork only involves walking forward, and occasionally taking a step back, there is no tricky blitzes or anything, so the striking success rate for Costa should be at least more stable numerically in the second and third if he doesn’t succumb to the pressure and slow down in those two rounds. However, I don’t trust Costa’s gas tank that much, he may be a physical specimen but the power he throws with is unsustainable for a three round back and forth, and it’s certainly not the first time Strickland has fought a powerhouse. My main concern however is the judges scorecards, and I know its a bit weird to talk about judging, but when you have big action fighters throwing things that aren’t super effective, the visuals reflect effectiveness, regardless of the supposed damage received, will the judges this fight see Costa throw heavy, despite not landing cleanly (which is hard to do against Strickland) and give the rounds to Costa? If that is the case, then a Costa Decision certainly should be in your books, but I just think that Strickland and his 4 inch reach advantage is going to be too effective in stifling the aggression of Costa.
I ultimately have Strickland winning this fight, I never really have been big on Costa, he’s a fun fighter to watch, but when you have Strickland taking away a lot of that fun by marching down a lot of his opponents, you get a Costa that struggles to keep up a bit. This is going to be a low confidence pick due to the judging factor, I have a weird feeling about this one lol.
Strickland via UD - (1/3)
Main Event
Lightweight Championship Bout
Islam Makhachev (c) (-480) (25-1-0, 13 FWS) v Dustin Poirier (#5) (+360) (30-8-0, NS)
Makhachev is one of the most well rounded fighters in the UFC at the moment. Everything he does is with clean technique and outstanding timing, and he has the cardio to keep up a ridiculously high pace for 5 rounds. There is no doubt in my mind that he is going to be using his brilliant wrestling and grappling to slowly dismantle Poirier, because Poirier’s grappling is rudimentary at best, it does not hold a candle to Makhachevs wrestling. There is a lot of discussion about Poirier landing a guillotine on Makhachev, but it’s all hype and hope at this rate because if he could not land a guillotine on BSD, he probably isn’t going to land one against a high level wrestler in Makhachev. Makhachev is a few steps behind when it comes to boxing though, I do not see him being successful against Poirier on the feet, Poirier’s striking is sublime, it is the most brilliant close range striking that you’ll probably ever see in the LW division, those tight hooks he uses is something nasty.
Poirier is on his last legs career wise, there is quite a lot weighing on him for this one as it is his final chance to get a belt, so that’s already a lot of pressure, but I guess he thrives in this kind of environment. Poirier is going to have to contend with the almost instant wrestling pressure and pace of Makhachev, and given that Poirier is not at all a wrestler, he is going to get taken down, he got taken down quite a few times when he fought a very depleted BSD, and now he’s coming up against a very physically ready Makhachev, I just don’t see Poirier doing too well in the wrestling department against Makhachev. However, when it comes to the striking, Poirier holds all the cards here, he has incredible timing with his lead hook and if he times it right, that uppercut could be disastrous for Makhachev. It’s going to be the hook and the uppercut that catch Makhachev, but if Makhachev can survive those attacks and get his hands wrapped around Poirier, it’s not going to matter if Poirier rocks Makhachev in the process, Makhachev is insane in top position.
That’s the story here, Poirier’s boxing versus Makhachevs wrestling and grappling. I got Makhachev winning this one, but it is always a good idea to sprinkle a bit of money on a Poirier KO, especially since he’s such a big underdog here.
Makhachev via Sub R2 - (2/3)
And that's it!
Primary Parlay - Price/Morono o2.5 or GTD + Dawson/Solecki o2.5 or GTD + Almeida/Kopylov ITD + Makhachev/Poirier ITD
Secondary Parlay - Price/Morono o2.5 or GTD + Almeida/Romanov R3 Starts Yes + Strickland/Costa o2.5 + Makhachev/Poirier u3.5 or ITD
Locks: Perez (optional), Dawson, Almeida, Holland and Makhachev.
Prediction Accuracy for 2024: 64.3%
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The world has gone mad.
Global pandemic. Civil protests. Riots. Inept leadership. Corruption. Propaganda. World powers shifting uneasily as tensions rise. World War III feels like it’s just one wrong move away.
And I’m trapped here in my crappy little apartment because of quarantine.
Well, not trapped exactly. I could go out and participate in socially distant activities, or join the protests downtown, but I’m too damn depressed to get off the sofa. With everything shut down, I’m currently laid-off temporarily and living on the last of my savings, which consists mostly of ramen and canned veggies. My current hobbies include selling everything I own for rent money, lying on a sofa that was abused by a fraternity back in the 80s, and distracting myself with a crappy smartphone that was outdated when I bought it three years ago. I’ve sold everything else. Television, game console, tablet, computer, and all my games. Material things don’t matter when you don’t have a place to store them.
“I’m not a loser,” I whisper to myself. “I’m not stupid. I’m a hard worker. I’m just stressed and depressed as fuck.”
A century ago I could have just headed out into the wilderness and been a prospector, panning for gold and silver in the hills. I could have hired out as a cowboy, riding the open range and herding the cattle for one of the big ranches. Or been a hired gun. Or a bounty hunter. Considering how desperate I am right now, I would probably fall into a gang of outlaws robbing stage coaches and banks, vanishing across the border to drink and gamble until the money was gone.
Good thing I’m not much of a drinker, I guess.
\Ding**
A text interrupts my idle contemplation of shadows on the ceiling. Lifting my crappy smartphone off my chest, I thumb open the message app. It’s a group text from my boss at iBox Co.
“Hey guys. I know this is a horrible way to deliver the news, but I gotta close the business. Thanks for all the hard work and good luck in the future.”
I drop the phone back onto my chest and it pulses faintly with the beating of my heart.
\Ding**
I check the new text. It’s from my mobile service provider.
“Your automatic bill pay has failed. Please update your account or call the service department.”
Well, duh. No job, no money. No money, no life. Rent due at the end of the week. Supposedly they can’t evict you during quarantine, but they said nothing about the land lord disconnecting the water and power. John down in apartment 2B has been living like a caveman for the last 3 weeks, stubbornly refusing to move out. I wonder if that’s how I’ll end up? Alone in the dark, cooking ramen over a candle.
\Ding**
\Ding**
\Ding**
A quiet rage builds in my gut. Bad news, bad news, bad news. Nothing but bad news and more bad news. Estranged from my divorced parents because I refused to pick sides. Kicked out of college for poor academic performance. Scholarship gone. Girlfriend gone. Job gone. Money gone.
Frustrated at my helplessness, I clench my fist around the phone and fling it behind me.
\Smash**
“Ah shit,” I grumble aloud, instantly regretting my impulsive action and rolling over to survey the damage.
The remains of a fancy framed mirror I had bought for a few bucks at an estate sale hung on the wall, smashed into pieces with my smartphone sticking through it like a ninja star. “How the heck did that happen?” I asked myself, staring in disbelief. I liked that mirror. It was one of the first non-essential purchases I had made after I moved in and I thought it gave the otherwise bare wall some needed character. Now it was shattered into pieces just like everything else in my life.
Crawling off the ratty sofa, I walked over to examine the damage. Pieces of thick glass hung from the frame like jagged teeth, reflecting my too-skinny body in a dozen slivers of reality. My cheap smartphone was embedded in the middle of the mirror and apparently halfway into the wall behind it. Prying away a few shards of glass to survey the damage, a strange pattern was revealed on the wood panel underneath the glass. Wriggling a larger piece loose cost me a nasty slice on my finger and I sucked on it while picking away the remainder of the glass. When everything was clear, my phone was revealed to be smashed through a silvery spiderweb of lines and symbols, apparently merged with the wall like a piece of modern art.
I tried to pull it loose with my good hand, but it was wedged in there tight. Gripping with both hands I tugged and twisted until it was slick with blood from my finger. “What the actual hell?” I said, peering at point where the phone merged with the wood backing of the mirror and the wall. I ran my fingers around the edge of the phone, trying to find where it was stuck and smearing the entire area with bloody fingerprints until it looked like a crime scene.
I gripped it again with both hands and began tugging.
\Ringtone**
My phone began to buzz and vibrate in my hand while the melody of a popular AOP song played. The strange silvery pattern my phone was embedded in lit up like a Christmas tree, glowing with thousands of colours that began chasing each other in time with the music. I instinctively jerked away, but my hands were stuck to the phone.
I couldn’t let go. My fingers were welded to the device! Panicked, I flopped around like a fish on a hook as the bluish light crawled over the phone and up my arms. Some force yanked me into the wall up to my elbows and I started screaming like a little girl with a wasp in her hair.
Then it pulled me completely into the wall.
I disintegrated into a cloud of artificial confetti, falling through synthetic colours and genetically modified sounds. Nothing made sense. The world was a boiling pot of salty madness and I was a shattered jar of elbow macaroni. Eternity passed in a cloud of steam.
“Ah, poor lost thing. What are you doing here?”
A soothing voice laid a foundation for my consciousness and I grabbed at it.
plehhhellephelpeeemeehelpmme
“You are near dissolution. I’ll do my best.”
Invisible fingers pushed and tugged and squeezed and formed the clay of my existence back into me. The last few months of my life flipped by, an embarrassing montage of manga, anime, Red Dead Redemption, and masturbation. Lots of masturbation.
“I’ve done everything I could. I’ll send you through your destination, or close to it. Your kind is not meant to be here without a guardian, remember that.”
Glass shattered into a million fragments as I emerged from that dark realm and tumbled across the ground.
I sucked in a deep breath, choking on soot and the distinct aroma of bird shit.
When the world stopped whirling around me, I opened my eyes. Above me were burnt rafters covered in bird shit and the remains of a roof. Sunlight painted one soot-covered stone wall in the golden hues of a summer afternoon. After a moment, I realised that I felt pretty good. Really good. Like I could run a marathon. Climbing to my feet, I wiped my grimy hands on my shirt. The back was probably a ruin of shit and soot already, so keeping the front clean didn’t make sense.
The room was a ruin. A fire had obviously raged through here some time ago. A wood chair was collapsed in a corner near a fireplace, along with what appeared to be the remains of a table. Shattered bits of glass were scattered all around a large ornate standing mirror frame, the one that I had apparently exited from. A large mound of mushrooms and ferns grew in another corner on what was possibly a bed at one time. Behind me a fire ravaged door hung on blackened timbers.
*System Restart\*
I blinked at the text hanging in the air.

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in the midwest, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos
tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :o
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!

I have a Windows 98 PC and a Windows XP PC, which I keep around for retro gaming. For years they've used an HP keyboard that works but its getting on in years and occasionally a shift key sticks. So I've thought of replacing it, preferably with a mechanical keyboard.
I know for a fact both machines can use a USB keyboard, as I've done it on both (on one, I use a USB to PS/2 adapter, but I technically don't need to).
However, most times when I look up keyboards, they all have this feature where the keys light up or have backlighting. I'm worried this might draw too much power from vintage ports and fry them.
Is this a realistic worry or am I fretting over nothing?
Thanks in advance.

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in the midwest, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos
tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :o
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!

Hayao Miyazaki's View of the Japanese People

Maki Watanabe: Let’s talk about Director Miyazaki's "Princess Mononoke." This work was a representative blockbuster film of that year. It was not only the first Ghibli work to exceed 10 billion yen at the box office, but it even reached 19.3 billion yen!
Mamoru Oshii: That number is indeed impressive. Unlike the previous work, "Porco Rosso," which was whimsical and lacked a theme, this time he returned with a grand theme. This time the theme was "Hayao Miyazaki's view of the Japanese people."
Maki Watanabe: So the characters like the “People of the Mountains” appeared.
Mamoru Oshii: It can be said that it brings together an all-star lineup of images representing Japan in the old man's mind. From the Emishi to the people of Irontown, to the lepers, to the Forest Spirit, and so on, the theme of the “People of the Mountains” is the ethnic minorities and small groups of Japan.
Maki Watanabe: Mr. Miyazaki has done a lot of research in these areas.
Mamoru Oshii: The old man is indeed a hardworking and studious person. He reads history books very seriously and wants to leave behind the fruits of his studies. Mr. Takahata also has this side, and so do I. In other words, this is a common desire shared by all creators. In this regard, the old man's research interest fell on another kind of Japanese who are not well known, that is, the “People of the Mountains.”
Maki Watanabe: What about Ashitaka, one of the protagonists?
Mamoru Oshii: Although he is Emishi, he is also one of the People of the Mountains. He has a unique religious view and view of nature, which are consistent with the old man's orientation. The old man has absolutely no interest in agricultural peoples, and the people of the mountains are both hunters and makers of things.
Maki Watanabe: Ah, the “making things” setting that the old man likes.
Mamoru Oshii: That's right. So this is the world where he can best transfer his feelings to these people.
Maki Watanabe: So, unlike Mr. Takahata, Mr. Miyazaki is not interested in farmers?
Mamoru Oshii: Not interested. It never appeared in his (original) works, right? Mr. Takahata is good at rural themes, but the old man is not at all.
Maki Watanabe: What is Mr. Oshii's impression of "Princess Mononoke"?
Mamoru Oshii: This work is too stiff. The theme is too grand to be concluded. It's like spreading out a whole piece of wrapping cloth and then not knowing how to put it back together, and in the end, you can only make a mess of it. In the end, the flowers bloom muddleheadedly, and then the music plays as usual, and it ends without anything being resolved. Did they ever think about how to end it? Filmmakers generally like to make a grand opening, but very few can put it back together perfectly. But this is where the director's skill is shown.
Maki Watanabe: Christopher Nolan once said that when making a film, you have to think about the ending from the beginning, and once you decide on it, you don't change it. The endings of his films are indeed impressive.
Mamoru Oshii: Actually, that's the usual way to do it. I also think about the ending from the beginning. Structure is the life of a film, it's a matter of course. On the contrary, the old man, who doesn't write scripts properly, starts from scratch and doesn't want to think about the ending at all. I have said it many times, it is precisely because of this that he is not suitable to be a director.
Maki Watanabe: However, the more you say that about him, the more I find the old man cute. After all, he has always been true to himself, that's great, isn't it?
Mamoru Oshii: What's so cute about it? In a sense, he's someone who makes movies solely on his own talent. Indeed, he is a genius in a way, he doesn't consider anything before or after his death. It is Toshio Suzuki's job to assist him from the sidelines. Speaking of which, Miss Maki, do you remember the last scene of "Princess Mononoke?"
Maki Watanabe: I remember. In the end, everyone went back to where they belonged and it ended. I didn't understand why Ashitaka stayed in Irontown instead of going back to his hometown, so I complained: "Hey, go home." But I didn't quite understand it when it was released. To be honest, there are a lot of things in the story that are hard to keep up with. At that time, many magazines made special features on "Princess Mononoke," and they all sold well. It should be that everyone didn't understand the story, so they wanted to hear what was going on.
Mamoru Oshii: How many people can remember the ending of Ghibli movies, especially the old man's movies? The theme song or the main melody composed by Joe Hisaishi plays, and then it's "the end," forcibly ending. This is Suzuki's strategy.
Maki Watanabe: "Princess Mononoke" uses a song by Yoshikazu Mera at the end.
Mamoru Oshii: The song was also used repeatedly in the promotion, making people so familiar with the theme song that it lingered in their ears. So why use this song over and over again? Because the people in charge of publicity didn't understand the story either. What is the story of "Princess Mononoke" about? It should be the story of Ashitaka and San, but what happened to them in the end? Miss Maki, can you explain it clearly?
Maki Watanabe: The theme is the opposition between civilization and nature. San represents nature, Ashitaka is the middle ground, Lady Eboshi is civilization, and then the story is about the collision of these values. I just rewatched it, so I can probably explain it to this extent, but the part about Ashitaka and San feels very weak.
Mamoru Oshii: That's right, Ashitaka and San should have become like Pazu and Sheeta in "Castle in the Sky," but they didn't. Surprisingly, San is not charming in the slightest. The most surprising thing I saw at the screening was this. The old man, who has always drawn beautiful girls, could it be that he didn't put his heart into San? At least it seems so. The appreciation of the characters is significantly less than before. It's almost impossible not to ask, "What's wrong with the old man?"

The Magic of Hayao Miyazaki's Manga Films

Maki Watanabe: Indeed, although she is the heroine, her impression is very weak. She didn't even leave as deep an impression as Ashitaka.
Mamoru Oshii: That's right, it must be Ashitaka who left a deeper impression. Followed by Lady Eboshi, she is the old man's favorite type. The most interesting thing about the old man is that he doesn't just stop at simply praising nature and denying civilization. I've said it countless times, the old man himself has another side to him that loves fighter jets and mechanical civilization. He is a very contradictory person.
Maki Watanabe: Lady Eboshi is the character who speaks for the old man, right?
Mamoru Oshii: The process of civilization is an inevitability of human development. Human beings cannot survive without destroying nature. This is human beings. Lady Eboshi of Irontown is probably the representative of this kind of human being, just like Nausicaä in "Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind."
Maki Watanabe: Lady Eboshi loses an arm at the end, and Nausicaä also has a prosthetic arm.
Mamoru Oshii: So, that's the price. In the old man's way of thinking, they must pay a certain price, and it is easy to see from the picture that it is manifested as the loss of an arm. The old man has a unique sense of balance, and he will definitely look for that balance point. Take the villain character, Colonel Muska, in "Castle in the Sky" as an example. As he is escaping, he throws his underwear out of his open suitcase. From this scene, you can also see that the old man did not completely portray him as a bad guy. Adding a bit of cuteness to the villains is what the old man does. Lady Eboshi is a character with very clear values, and for the old man, it is necessary to make her pay the price of losing her arm. In this sense, he is a genius in terms of balance. Although having said that, the old man would not do such a thing as adding a scar to a cute girl. The same goes for children. Girls and children are the old man's sacred realm, and he never lets these characters pay any price or suffer any trauma.
Maki Watanabe: But there's nothing entangled in Lady Eboshi, is there? For example, Ashitaka reported that the women in Irontown were in danger, but she said, "Women can take care of themselves", and then devoted herself to destroying the Forest Spirit. Generally speaking, wouldn't there be some hesitation and struggle? So I don't feel the charm from her strength.
Mamoru Oshii: That's the nature of the old man. Putting viewpoints side by side, putting out all kinds of values without omission, for the old man, there is no contradiction in liking characters who are not troubled and do not hesitate. Because the old man hates indecisive characters the most. He would never affirm those who are hesitant, hesitant, and prone to distress. In short, he doesn't like entanglement.
Maki Watanabe: This value is very interesting.
Mamoru Oshii: Of course, he likes nature the most. However, if the Forest Spirit is affirmed, human beings have to be denied, so there must be an existence that speaks for the human position, and that is Lady Eboshi. The old man is not such a simple person. He has studied why human beings have embarked on the road of industrialization, and he knows very well that this is an inevitable choice. But it wouldn't ease his mind if he simply affirmed it. But if he recognizes the Forest Spirit, he can only come to the conclusion that "human beings should be destroyed", so he has to add San, a character born in nature. Ashitaka is in a position between San and Lady Eboshi.
Maki Watanabe: But Ashitaka should go back to his village, right? Everyone is waiting for him. Why stay in Irontown? If you make such a choice, you have to go through some struggle, right?
Mamoru Oshii: That's why I said, the old man just hates struggling and tangling. The story itself is difficult to justify, so it can only end in such a forceful way. There is basically no drama in this work, because there is no struggle of values at all. As a film, there are often confusions like "Which direction is this story going?" The reason why it turned out like this is because the problem has been concluded in some aspects. That is to say, civilization will never go backwards, and it is precisely because of the creation of civilization that human beings have become human beings. Those who can really live in nature don't even know that it is nature. If one had never stepped out of the Garden of Eden, one would not even know that one was human. Industrial society is a necessity for human beings, and human beings can only survive by conquering nature. But humans don't want to deny the part of themselves that resonates with nature.
Maki Watanabe: I see.
Mamoru Oshii: The old man made "Princess Mononoke" on the basis of understanding all this, but even if he understands this rationally, he cannot let it go, so he will be divided. So how do you put an end to this split in a movie? He didn't think about it carefully, so "Princess Mononoke" became a film with an incomprehensible ending. Speaking of which, because the world in the movie is not a world of good and evil, children should not understand it. The old man clearly said that he made animation for children, and said that no matter what the real world is like, at least in the work, the black and white of good and evil should be clearly distinguished. This is one of the main tasks of being a director. However, his own work lacks such consistency. Although the theme is grand, it cannot be concluded properly. Of course, it's not just the old man, there are many movies like this.
Maki Watanabe: But the picture is very powerful. This time I re-watched it and felt very emotional.
Mamoru Oshii: Like this, in short, showing you some powerful things and making you accept it in a confused way is the unique magic of the old man's manga films. Although the director and the critics can see through the flaws at a glance and will not be deceived, the animators will be amazed and exclaimed, "Amazing!" after watching it. Of course, he is really good. Whether it is the demon or the Forest Spirit, he has made very, very grand scenes. The movements of all the characters are very neat and beautiful, and the background is also very magnificent. But as for the animals, because I'm a bit of an authority when it comes to the representation of "dogs", the image of Moro doesn't look good at all. The film is full of places like this that (the old man) made with his eyes closed.
Maki Watanabe: That's how it is. I was so shocked that I didn't pay much attention.
Mamoru Oshii: This work is extremely difficult to draw, and it's also very long, isn't it? It's impossible to be perfect. Apart from Moro, there are also some problems with the setting of Irontown. The animator who was in charge of drawing Moro also participated in the production of the movie "Jin-Roh." His performance in "Jin-Roh" was obviously better. Not to mention anything else, the running posture of beasts is a difficult problem for animators, more difficult than birds and horses. For example, the posture of a dog lowering its center of gravity and speeding up will make the animator cry.
Maki Watanabe: The Forest Spirit also looks very unique!
Mamoru Oshii: That's the old man's forte. The little mushroom-like spirits are also his forte. Not only are they rich in movement, but children also especially like them.
Maki Watanabe: Very cute, and adults love it too! (laughs) Later, the scene where the Forest Spirit stepped on the ground and the flowers and plants suddenly grew made people couldn't help but exclaim "Wow," it was really beautiful.
Mamoru Oshii: That part is very sensual, as if you can smell it. It's really sensual, very enchanting. I only admire the part with the Forest Spirit, just like the scene in Totoro where the trees suddenly grow. That's the essence of the animation world. Even if it's done with CG, it can't make that kind of feeling. That is the old man's unique sense of movement, a sense of sensuality, a kind of eroticism unique to plants. The old man is really good at drawing plants. He's definitely better at plants than animals. From this point of view, there are indeed many remarkable scenes in "Princess Mononoke", maybe the character that the old man put more effort into is not San, but the Forest Spirit, which is why everyone is glued to their eyes.
Maki Watanabe: The scene of the Forest Spirit walking on the water, being hit and sinking into the water for a while, and then floating up again… That scene is very touching.
Mamoru Oshii: The old man is also very good at water, he is simply a genius. So, I'm not always picking on him, I'll praise him where it's due. I'm making a fair assessment. There will never be another animator like the old man. It's just that, although I may have said it too many times, he's really not cut out to be a director (laughs).
Maki Watanabe: I re-watched it after a long time. Although there are many problems such as the ending not being closed and the story having loopholes, I am still shocked by the picture.
Mamoru Oshii: If you look at it again after a while, those grand themes will be put aside by everyone, and many parts can be enjoyed separately. Sure enough, the unique sexy charm of this film is irresistible.
Maki Watanabe: But the places made with digital technology are really not good, or because the hand-painted parts are so good, the digital production looks not so good.
Mamoru Oshii: This film used digital technology for the first time, which caused a lot of buzz when it was released. The scene of Ashitaka riding a deer was made using texture mapping, but that doesn't suit the old man. The old man's unique sense of movement and pleasure in the flowing scenery cannot be expressed by texture mapping. I am very sure of this. In fact, this place should be the same as the sea of clouds in "Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind" and the flowing scenery in "Castle in the Sky," all done by hand. But if we did, the work might not be completed.
Maki Watanabe: Another major feature of this film is the voice actors. This time the dubbing lineup is very luxurious.
Mamoru Oshii: Needless to say, this is Suzuki's strategy. Toshiro Mifune, Akira Emoto, Masahiko Nishimura, Yuko Tanaka, and even Mitsuko Mori were invited. Ghibli has also invited many actors to be voice actors before, but this is the first time that there have been so many. Almost all the main characters are well-known stars. Every Japanese can conjure up the faces of these stars in their minds.
Maki Watanabe: San is voiced by actress Yuriko Ishida, and Ashitaka is voiced by Yoji Matsuda. Mr. Matsuda voiced Asbel in "Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind."
Mamoru Oshii: Speaking of San just now, speaking of the lack of presence of this character, she doesn't look like the beautiful girl depicted by the old man at all. One of the reasons is that her voice didn't move people's hearts. Also, why Akira Emoto? Do you have this question?
Maki Watanabe: But didn't Mr. Oshii's "Sky Crawlers" also use actress Rinko Kikuchi? And Ryo Kase.
Mamoru Oshii: But not many Japanese knew Rinko Kikuchi at the time, right? As for why Ryo Kase was used, it's a long story... But the reason why I used Rinko was because I thought no one in Japan knew her, so it didn't matter.
Maki Watanabe: How come, I know her. After all, she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for "Babel" and has attracted a lot of attention.
Mamoru Oshii: That's because Miss Maki, you are in the film industry, but ordinary Japanese people don't know. And it was also because I liked her very much after meeting her once. Looking back on it now, she was wearing a black dress very similar to the one worn by the young Motoko at the end of "Ghost in the Shell."
Maki Watanabe: Was that intentional?
Mamoru Oshii: It's very possible. She seemed very positive and motivated at the time, which is what an actor should be. It is very important to have the momentum of "must win this role." Mélanie St-Pierre in "Garzey's Wing" is also like this, with a kappa hairstyle and a gun in the audition video.
Maki Watanabe: I didn't expect it to be so easy to capture Mr. Oshii's heart. A kappa hairstyle with a gun is all it takes (laughs).
Mamoru Oshii: What are you talking about! It's important whether it fits or not. That's the key. Let's not mention this for the time being, why don't I like this voice actor lineup very much? Because I watched the whole film at the luxurious premiere, and they stood on the stage in a row. These faces were very powerful, and the number of people was extraordinary.
Maki Watanabe: I've always had a question about letting actors be voice actors. Does letting Yuriko Ishida dub really attract audiences? It won't be the driving force to make people want to watch a movie, right?
Mamoru Oshii: Suzuki's strategy is "to do everything that can be done." Having celebrities lined up can get media attention, and Toshiro Mifune was more famous than Hayao Miyazaki back then, wasn't he? He didn't want to attract audiences with Yuriko Ishida, it was just a strategy to get media attention. Before the release, it was Suzuki's job to raise awareness of the film. First of all, "Princess Mononoke" is a very important work in every sense, and it must sell well, otherwise its investment scale will bankrupt Ghibli.
Maki Watanabe: It's a work that has put all its efforts into it.
Mamoru Oshii: Yes. The old man also made agrand structure in his mind, putting all his heart into it. Toshio Suzuki's efforts made this work a success in distribution. As I said just now, there are various sensitive issues in this work born from the old man's whims and fantasies, so Suzuki is responsible for the aftermath. You may have forgotten that there has never been a scene in a previous animation where a head or an arm is chopped off like in this work. When it was first released, every animation studio was talking about "Princess Mononoke," saying, "That old Miyazaki actually drew so many scenes of beheadings and severed limbs!" What does this mean? It can only be said that the old man has become unstoppable. What Suzuki said didn't work, it was completely out of control. In my opinion, this sign appeared in the "Porco Rosso" period. At that time, I let him do what he liked. On the other hand, Toshio Suzuki had to work harder to get the word out.
Maki Watanabe: Having said that, it has created a big-selling record in film history, which is very remarkable.
Mamoru Oshii: Judging from the results, it was a big hit at the box office, so it became more and more unstoppable.
In this way, the two consecutive films were created as they pleased, but the two works are completely different. The arbitrariness of "Porco Rosso" is a personal thing. But "Princess Mononoke" talks about Japan, nature, human beings, and even the theory of civilization. The old man put all the things he was interested in and studied into it, proposed a grand theme, and created it as an "author." That is to say, he officially debuted as an author.
Maki Watanabe: So, "Princess Mononoke" is a masterpiece of director Hayao Miyazaki, right?
Mamoru Oshii: Masterpiece? He hasn't even "mastered" it yet. Just put together interests and knowledge. No editing, no structure, just a list of content.
Maki Watanabe: Then how should it be evaluated?
Mamoru Oshii: Clearing inventory. No, it's more accurate to say picking up and shipping. Because he moved all the stock out.
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The content is from a Japanese book 誰も語らなかったジブリを語ろう (Let's talk about Ghibli that no one has talked about).

If any men out there that thinks their ugly but want to know what its like to be really handsome, its very simple. You get too much attention. unnecessary attention, strangers want to know more about you, and to the point that they are even willing to commit federal level crimes just to get to know you. Let me tell you MY EXPERIENCE. Read what i have to say then compare it to what is being said about me. Ill start of with my mom. With the most recent one. I changed my locks like 5 times already, and she kept being able to go in and out of my apartment. I left the card and sticker from my order from tuner cult, its one of those car giveaways (i had to, its an r34 they were giving away hahaha) on too of my snare drum. These past few days i noticed everybody that i monitor on social media, posts things that has “T” and “C” on the initials of post. Yes you read that right. This is something that someone with dementia or cte would do aint it? And next, i did 2 traps. I got the mythic legion horse box set displayed on the middle shelf at my apartment. Its in between my 2 rooms, and i stacked my moving boxes full of my stuff last night. Today, on my way to work, at least 3 police cars on my way to work showed up. Past few days its like one a day. Now the good part, again the people i monitor started tweeting with “M” on the initials of their posts or retweets. This is something what a gradeschooler back at 2008 who binge reads twilight and watches camp rock would do huh? Thats not even the problem. My blink camera never notifies me of anyone going in and out of my apartment, BUT they know exactly whats on my apartment and what im doing at the comfort of my apartment. You see, my mom is one of those women who knows how to fully utilize being a woman. You know those ill hit you but if you hit me ill scream for help and youre done. Basically a scum. She stole my godhands nippers on my desk. Thats a 60 dollar nipper for cutting model kits. Thats how full of herself she is now. Cause she knows she got the whole world wrapped around her finger, while using me as a leverage. I know she shares to people my stuff, keeping her followers updated with anything lance canaber related. Thats why i wont go famous till i move to a different country. Ill never ever give her the satisfaction of fame. Shes fun to be around with, but nobody gives a fuck about her, the only way she get to feel the center of attraction is by using me to entice people. And thats actually one of the things that really makes me wonder. Just how hypocrite law enforcement here in arizona could get? Literally she keeps breaking in my apartment, openly tells people about it, but she never get arrested. Thats where my theory sits, its a give and take situation-

Everything I've read has said that, contrary to what you see in the movies, the typical nobleman's house in Western Europe through most of the Middle Ages was not this capacious structure with bedrooms and anterooms and all kinds of other rooms dedicated to singular purposes and people. Instead, the houses for those of the upper ranks (below royalty, though sometimes including royalty as well) was for much of the period just one big ol' room, with the addition of another room or maybe two to be used as private quarters for the owners, and maybe another room as a kitchen as time went on. Though I'm most familiar with Britain, I've also been in restorations in Ireland and seen archaeological drawings of excavations of such houses in France and Scandinavia, so I assume this pattern is at least relatively common in the western part of western Europe during this period, and the descriptions I've read and images I've seen indicate a similar, though far from identical, pattern dating from Norse and Anglo-Saxon ale and mead halls up to 15th- and 16th-century fortified manor houses and towers, where the arrangement might be vertical instead of horizontal, with the ground floor being a storeroom.
But here's where my puzzlement comes in. More recently, I've been looking up the meaning of some terms and titles from the era, and they tend to indicate the meanings began as senior jobs in noble households. Which raises the question in my mind that, when there's only a great hall for the servants and the soldiers to eat and sleep in, and for quite a while for the servants to cook in, and for the lord to hold court in, and--until solars (the lord's private quarters) came along--for the lord and his family to also do all their living in...where were the work spaces for the steward and the marshal and the butler and even the lowly clerks, all of whom presumably needed to keep correspondences and maintain records? And what about even the lower servants, who piled onto the floor of the hall to sleep at night, hopefully with some kind of pallet but definitely with at least a blanket? Where did those things go when not in use, not to mention the kitchen maid's spare shift or the porter's stone from the grave of St. Edmund? Poor people may have had very little, but they did have some personal possessions, and they had to be stored someplace, hopefully securely, even if the said poor people had to live under somebody else's roof.
I guess my problem is that while I can imagine how a single-room (or almost single-room) house can function when there are only a few people in it, possessing only a few things, doing most of their work outside of the building--i.e., the way the peasantry lived, for the most part--I'm having a hard time transferring that understanding to a wealthy, crowded, bustling noble hall. Can anybody help me with this?

Summary During a eventfull evening with the Glenwood pack. Seer is chased by their mate Beth as pay back for them leaving her on the ladder alone. When things go wrong but may have a positive outcome Notes My first story so I'm not very good at this. I wrote this on Google docs. It's a fan fic/AU See the end of the work for more notes
Seer turns into a shifter
TW: Blood Violence I imagine myself as Seer in this story. Seer stands near the front door to the den during Thanks giving when they suddenly hear. Beth: "where is my mate" Seer dashes out the door and runs into the woods with wolf Beth right behind them. While in the trees Beth catches up and jumps on Seers back pinning them to the ground. She pushes her paws into Seers body nut since she's upset she uses too much of her strength and blood begins to gush out of their wound. Horrified Beth jumps off before frantically turning back. She begins to Shreak Beth: Claire Claire. Claire stands in her living room with Knight and Genieve thinking that its best to let Seer and Beth sort of their conflict. Geneve hears Beth screaming and smells Seers blood. She uses her Valp abilities to speed into the woods with Calire and Knight following. They run right into the woods and see Seer lying on the ground with Beth kneeling next to them her tears soaking the soil. Claire kneels down and examines Seers wound while Knight and Evie try to comfort Beth as she falls I to their arms. Knight: what happened. Beth tries to explain but her sobs get in the way. Evie: don't worry Beth Claire can heal them she's a mighty blood mage. It's going to be OK. Claire: they've lost a lot of blood she says hardly keeping her voice steady. Even if I heal them it might be too late. Evie: what if we give them a blood transfusion that would work. Knight: but then they'd be a shifter too like us. Claire: it should be their choice but it's not like we can ask. We can't use my blood I'll need my strength to make sure their body accepts the new blood Knight: use mine I can take it. I'm strong enough. And they'd do it for me. Beth shakes her head Use mine I'm the reason there in this mess and they're my mate. Claire agrees and she uses her magic to transfer some of Beth's blood into Seer Beth: OH God I hope this works. She sobs. W we c c can't lose anyone else she cries harder thinking about that night and all the blood that was spilled. Evie gently picks up Seer and carries them up stairs into one of the spare rooms and places them in a soft bed. Seer lies there fast asleep with Beth right next to them staring at them thinking replaying the accident over and over again. "All this because they didn't hold a ladder. And off corse they're going to blame themselves for this" Claire: it's not your fault Beth or theirs sometimes things happen that we can't control. All of a sudden there's the sound of loud footsteps charging up the stairs and Simon barges into the room. Simon: Knight told me what happened. Claire are they going to be ok. What can I do? Claire: they should be fine we've given them a blood transfusion so their going to be a shifter now. Can you go get some food and water for Beth she's going to need it after the blood she's lost. Simon nods and walks away down the stairs. And returns with food. Beth tries to eat but it's like chewing carpet. She continues to stare at Seers wound and their face. Along with Simeon. He feels fatherly love for Seer thinking back to the time he welcomed them into their pack and how he hugged them so tight he thought he had broken Seers rib. Simeon: people always look so young when they sleep. All the stress melts away. Especially for them since their visons make them worried alot. He Says Beth nods. Theyll shift before they wake up since their body is still getting used to its new blood you'll have to calm them down and explain honey. Claire finishes healing Seers wound and yawns. "I need to go to bed ill need my strength back incase anything goes wrong when Seer wakes up in the morning." Claire hugs Beth before walking out of the room with Simeon following The next day Seers body shifts into their wolf form and they begin the stir and suddenly wake and begin to thrash around and yelp with pain. Beth quickly moves foreword and pushes Seer back down onto the bed Beth: "ssssshhhhh beautiful it's OK it's OK. I'm here I'm here.” Seer starts to calm down and make snarling sounds of confusion. While trying to take deep breaths. They start to roll over and fall out of the bed onto the floor. Beth rubs their hand and pulls Seers head onto her lap. "Beautiful it's OK. You're not dreaming you're a shifter like me now. After last night we had to give you some of my blood since you lost too much. So now you're like me. You'll always be a shifter but don't worry you'll be able to turn onto your human form. After while. I'll reach you how once you get some of your strength back." Seer begins to look around the room. Beth knows Seer well enough that she knows they're looking for the others even through they can't talk as a wolf Beth: "the Claire Simeon Knight and Evie are here but they're keeping their distance since having too many people around might be overwhelming for you. " I I'm so sorry beautiful so so sorry" she begins to tear up again and Seer whimpers and rubs their head against her trying to calm her down and tell her it's not her fault. Beth takes a deep breath. And starts to calm herself. You know Isla is going to be jealous that you shifted before her. Says Simon walking onto the room and bending down to rub Seers muzzle. Beth: Simeon you're not supposed to be in here yet. You'll overwhelm them. Simeon: oh relax they're fine right he says looking at Swer who nods weakly and tries to smile despite having sharper teeth. Beth: that's right beautiful try to rest. Now. In a couple of days we'll gather the whole pack and go for a run. It'll be amazing gliding through the woods. I still remember the first time I ran as a wolf I felt so free and powerful. Seer and Beth both climb back into the bed together and fall onto a deep sleep holding eachother in a loving embrace.
The morning after
Chapter Summary Seer wakes up the morning after Thanksgiving and has to get used to their new form and abilities
Seers eyes flutter open. There still in their wolf form and look over and see human Beth snuggled up next to them. Feeling her warmth. They feel excited to know what's it's like for Beth when she shifts to comfort them in the night when their visons make their anxiety flaire up. Seer lifts up their head and sniffs the air through their nose. And they feel completely overwhelmed by the seats that are in the room from their own smell to Beth's to the cotton sheets and blanket and traces of Claire and Simeon. Their sudden movements wake up Beth who groans sleepily still tired from her sleepless night watching Seer. She gently reaches up and strokes Seers muzzle. Beth: “I know it's overwhelming but you'll get used to it with time. Try to breathe slowly” Seer sticks our their tounge between their teeth like a puppy dog and makes a big show of panting slowly. Beth is torn between being annoyed with her mates sarcasm and being glad they're in a good enough mode to be a smartass. She giggles. As they stare at eachother with the loving gaze they always use when they share a moment. Seer always knew that they would face any challenge for Beth regardless of its their visons or being a shifter. It is always worth it. Not that Seer minds being a shifter they're over the moon about it. And they think about all the things that they'll be able to do with their pack. Their family. Claire walks into the room then. She smiles seeing Beth and Seer together. Somethings never change she thinks to herself. Claire: “Glad to see you're well rested. Through now it's the middle of the night. The rest of the packs here. Through they're outside near the bonfire. They want to see you. You up for it? Beth looks over at Seer who nods excitedly before gently jumping off the bed careful not to scratch Beth with their claws or land on Claire. They stretch their muscles and shake their fur like a wet dog. Beth: “don't worry beautiful I'll brush you later. Before I teach you to change back. Seer wags their tail at Beth before they start to slowly walk out of the room still Abita unsure since their on four legs. They start to walk through the rooms door way. It's a tight squeeze. Beth: “suck it in Beatiful.” And giggles. Seer gets through the door and turns around tencing up their muscles to show off. Before they keep walking down the hallway. On the way to the stairs they walk past a mirror. They stop and walk back to stare at their reflection. They strike a pose. Thinking “oooooo hello” and they wink at their own image. Claire: “Come on Seer before I have Simeon Knight and Evie carry you down the stairs like a disobedient puppy.” Seer walks down the stairs carefully not wants to do wolf matrix move outtakes on the way down. They reach the bottom of the stairs and put their paws on the front door like a dog needing to go outside. Claire walks up and opens the door. Knowing the wind must have blown it shut. Seer walks to the front of the den with Beth at their side and Claire not far behind. They each feel the chilly air Travel up their bodied. The pack is waiting for them excitedly around the bonfire keeping warm. Simon stands up and walks over to Seer as they approach the fire rejoicing in the warmth it provides. Simon places a plate infront of Seer. Simon: “your first meal as a wolf my child.” Seer loves the taste especially now that their senses are stronger and they wolf it down while Simon pets them like a house pet. The rest of the pack continues to stare at Seer in awe of their new form. Isla runs up to Seer and hugs them. They bend down and hug them back as she seems to sink into Seers fur. The wind picks up blowing more of Isla scent into Seers nose and again they are overwhelmed by it along with the scents of the rest of the pack and the forest. Seer shakes their head to try and clear. Isla: Ooops sorry Seer I forgot it can be overwhelming. It'll be thr same for me when I first shift. Seer yelps excited to Isla and steps forward before giving her a huge lick across her face. Like a house dog. “Ewww” says Isla as Allen and Hazel laugh along with the rest of the pack. Tristan: “You should have seen that coming kid” he says before giggling. Isla: “has Ranger stuck a dog collar on you lately Triscuit” Beth: “Yeah Triscuit Kakis told me you need to stop getting caught out in the woods” Claire: “Speaking of the woods who wants to go for a run with me Seer and Beth tonight?” Hazel and Allen refuse since they want to stay with Isla since she needs to sleep. Ro and Tristan want to stay behind since they want to start working on some overalls for Seer. Simeon: I'll go. I want to be with my child on this special occasion. Claire: alright let's go change into our overalls. Me and Simon will go first. Beth: I'll stay with you beautiful until the others get back. You shouldn't be alone right now this is still alot for you. When Claire and Simeon get back I'll go get changed” Simeon and Claire walk away. Leaving Beth and Seer alone in the forest. Beth: you're doing so well beautiful. I'm so proud of you. And despite what happened I'm glad I can share such a big part of my life with you. I'm also glad that the others are happy as well. Through they already adored you. Seer wags their tail. And thinks “It's not just me who did well its also Claire she healed me and you for being so strong through everything you been through both before and now. You're so strong love plus you're hot headed and stubborn which also helps. Claire and Simeon walk back outside and Beth strokes Seer one more time before walking towards the den to change into her overalls.
Seers first run
Chapter Summary As a right of passage of being a shifter Seer now gets to run through the woods of the pack territory with their mate
After Claire Beth and Simeon shift into their wolf forms. Beth steps forward towards Seer and rubs her muzzle against them. Seer feels the warmth of her body and hot breath against their face as well as love. Despite them still not used to being in their wolf form it feels oddly right. Like now they belong Suddenly Seer hears a soft voice in their head. Which for a normal person would feel unusual but to them they feel oddly used to it since they hear voices when they have their visons. Beth: “Beautiful can you hear me? Seer nods their head looking at Beth. Remember that she once mentioned that shifters can speak to each other telepathy when they're in their wolf forms. Beth: “You can talk to me as well like this. But only when you direct your through towards me” Seer: “What about Claire and Simeon? She they alright?” Beth: “yeah their fine. They're just keeping quiet since they don't want to overwhelm you. Start moving forward when you're ready. You don't need to rush we're going at your pace. And we'll be right here with you. Now try and concentrate on your senses what you hear and smell.” Seer raises their head and takes a deep breath of the chilly night air. They are amazed at all the things they smell. From the animals hiding away in the night along with the smells of soil and decaying plants. They perk up their ears and the wilderness comes alive with sound. Like a musical of nature. They hear the steps of animals dashing along the ground to the rustle of leaves blowing in the cold wind to the sounds of night insects chirping away. Seer is amazing by all these new experiences and is awed at how much they missed back when they were only a human with their dull senses. Beth: “Amazing isn't it? So much order and chaos all mixed together in a wonderful display of nature and beauty. Just like you” Seer feels energy and power surging through their muscles and they take off running into the wilderness with Beth right next to them and Claire and Simeon behind them. The forest feels dense but it seems to part ways allowing them through like it's molding itself into a passage just for them. Seer feels amazing as they rush through trees still hearing the beauty of their surroundings and basking in the smell and sights that dance in their mind. Seer feels a new feeling. They feel free. They've let go of all the stresses of being human. From the endless work days to the mundane chooses that always demand attention. The wind rushes over their body as they move making them feel apart of the incredible environment around them. It feels like heaven as they continue to rush into the night.
Playtime as a wolf
Chapter Summary Seer plays in the woods with their pack mates
Trigger warning: Violence (not sure if wrestling counts but it's worth mentioning) The wolves comtinue runbingbthrough the forest the moonlight shimmering through the trees. Suddenly they arrive in a wide clearing. As if nature had opened itself up so that they could stand in the open. They stare up at the star filled sky the moonlight glistening in their wide eyes as they bask in the beauty of the universe. Seer: “Amazing isn't it. They say In awe still staring up transfixed. Beth: “Yes it is. But it still has nothing on you beautiful” she says softly and warmly stating at her make as the moonlight glistens off there Grey fur. Seer turns back to Beth and they look into eachothers eyes with the same wonder and love that they did on the night that Beth confessed her love and Seer returned her passion. Claire and Simeon walk up to the two love birds in furcoats. And stretch their bodies still filler with energy from their run. Claire: you want to wrestle Beth? Since we didn't get a change too earlier at thanks giving. She says excitedly eying up her pack mate. Beth: maybe another time. I don't feel up to. Suddenly she jumps at Claire catching her off guard and they begin to roll along the dirt covered ground Beth taking a early advantage. Simeon walks up to Seer slowly and calmly. Amusement in his eyes as he watches his girls battle it out. Seer: it feels different watching now. Like I'm apart of the action that makes sense. Simeon: Yeah. It's pretty fun. Plus it sometimes gives us a change to practice healing magic. He chuckles happily. You and I can go if you feel comfortable. Through it wouldn't be a fair fight since I'm bigger than you.” Seer: Even so I could still take you they say confidently. Alright on the count of three They square up in front of each other and Seer count one, two then they take a tip from Beth and jump on Simeon and they both begin to rustle together laughing the whole time. But it ends with Simeon on top of Seer his bigger form giving him a edge. Seer: Beth Claire help our dad is too heavy for me they say in a joking pleading voice. Claire and Beth both suddenly stop and fake glare at Simeon. Simeon: “ooooo scary” they say in a fake scared voice that trembles mockingly Claire: “How about you pick on someone your own size Simeon” she says confidently drawing herself up to full height and mockingly growling along with Beth. Simeon: “I'm still bigger than you” he says matter of factly stating the obvious. Beth: “Maybe but can you take all 3 of us?” Seer gets to their feet and quickly runs up next to Beth ready for round 2 with their dad. Simeon: “you'll have to catch me first he says sticking out his tounge and dashing out of the clearing with his 3 children in hot pursuit.
After run brushing
Chapter Summary Being in the woods has lead to Seer being covered in dirt and debris so Beth decides to give Seer a nice brushing session like they did after Beth's hunting trips
Simeon dashes out of the tree line and towards the den. With Seer, Claire and Beth on his tail. He dashes towards the den and up the wooden steps and through the front door. He shifts back into his human form his overalls overnight his muscular body. and smiles smugly at the wolves as they come in. Simeon: “I won sweeties” and laughs before wiping the sweat off his forehead. Genieve: “wow looks like you lot had some fun. Maybe next time me and Knight can come too.” Claire and Beth stop easily and they also shift back. But Seer being inexperienced in their new form their overalls also shifting back and covering their body. Beths design working well. Slides along the shinny wooden floor and smacks into the wall across the room. Beth: “Beautiful you alright” Seer nods happily and shakes their head to clear it. They're tail is wagging like crazy smacking onto the side of their body and they pant with their tounge hanging out. Claire: “looks like someone needs some help calming down. Luckily their is a way we can help you with that. Isn't there Beth?” she says looking at Swer and putting their head gently. Beth: “that's right. Now it's my turn to pamper you beautiful. Now I'm going to go get my brush then you can experience the pleasure of being groomed.” She says happily before walking away up the stairs them creaking as she climbs Simeon also walks away to take a shower and change out of his overalls. As he waks past Seer he gives them a large stroke on their back. “I'll never forget this night. You won't either. It was amazing my child. I love you” he continues walking. Claire keeps staring at Seer before the sound of footsteps from the next room pulls her gaze away as Ranger steps into the room. Dressed in comfy evening wear along with their signature Ranger hat. Seer notices that when Claire sees Ranger her grin widens. And they feel even happier for her. And make a note to tell Beth and Simeon about it later. Claire: “Hey there hotshot. I'm guessing Knight and Evie told you about recent events” she says in a warm voice a little louder than normal since she feels excited about the nights run. Ranger smiles back at Ranger. “Evie said that next time we should all go together.” he says excitedly loving the idea Claire: “how would you keep up with us?” Ranger: “easy I'd borrow your bike.” They laugh. Seer continues watching and listening they feel so happy that their relationship seems to be going strong. After all Claire deserves it and so does Ranger. Beth walks down the stairs carrying her fur brush having kept her overalls on since she's probably going to be covered in wolf hair from Seers brushing. Beth sits on the floor next to her mate. And pats her lap inviting Seer to lie their head their. “Beautiful this is going to feel lovely after all I enjoy it when you do it for me” She begins sliding the brush gently along Seers fur making a warm sound as it flides along. Seers eyes flutter as their skin is messaged by Beth's warm hands and brush. Lose hair begins coming free of Seers form. And sticking to the brush. Ranger steps forward wanting to help Beth clean the brush. But they also want to study how Beth brushes Seer taking mental notes for when they will do it for Claire. Ranger also reaches up and starts to scratch Seer behind their ears. Making a scratching sound and causing Seer to whine like a puppy. Beth “see beautiful feels lovely doesn't it. Plus now you're the puppy not me she teases.” Seer pays attention to what Beth says since she is always their first priority regardless of the situation. But they decide to ignore the teasing aspect wanting to instead to let them all enjoy the moment and the warm feelings it gives them.
Seer speaks with the vampire Celiene
Chapter Summary Having some self doubt Seer decides to visit an old friend of the pack. Celiene since her age gives her alot of wisdom
On a dark cloudless night Seer runs through the woods alone as a wolf their powerful hearing the sounds of owls and night insects. When they finally reached the edge of the woods they slide to a stop. Since he feels nervous about what they are about to do his ears perk up subconsciously listening for any sounds of danger despite knowing that there wouldn't be any and even if there was the vampire court would rush to his aid should it be needed. Seer starts to think over what they are going to say for the hundredth time that night. While they look over the Manor house warm light shining through it's windows the blackout curtains being opened after sun set. Seer knew that the curtains extended towards the ground leaving no chance of sunlight getting through. Seer shakes their head to clear it. And to pull themselves back to reality. They tended to space out alot even without their visons they change into their form. And their overalls slide onto their body. Before walking towards the manors front door. They stare at the door its polished wood glistening in the moon and star light. Seer thinks about if they shoud know or just walk in. Celiene knows they're visiting having requested a invite awhile ago plus celiene knows they're there since she can hear them. Seer opens the door quietly and walks in the door doesn't make a sound since it's so well made and maintained. Seer enters the living room. The walls are painted dark colors and a fire crackles all to make the room feel cozy and warm to make the courts visitors feel ease. “Hello my dear Oracle.” a warm comforting voice says from the top of a set of stairs. There stands the vampire Queen Celiene dressed in a lose comfortable shirt and worn jeans. Still looking lovely as she calmly walks down the stairs looking like a beautiful godess. At the bottom of the stairs Celiene gives Seer a gentle hug. “you look well my dear. But where is Bethany?” Asks Celiene “She's at the Den sleeping. She offered to come but I wanted to be alone tonight. Besides she needs to rest since she's been super busy with her seamstress work and hunting with the pack. She deserves a night off” Celiene gestures to some furniture and they walk together and sit down. On a pair of leather seats near a coffee table “can I offer you a drink? Coffee? tea? Water?” Seer just shakes their head wanting to get to the reason they visiting. “Celiene do you miss being human or want to be human again?” Asks Seer leaning foreward. Celiene thinks about it. She leans back in her chair and pondered the question. “Well my dear. I don't remember my human life so I can't miss what I don't know. As for being human…. It has both upsides and downsides just like being a vampire. I have all the time in the world to read and study whatever I want plus i have my court. But I do sometimes wish I could go for a walk in the sunlight and I do miss all the people I've lost over my lifetime. Why do you ask?” Seer considers what she said. Noting that she does have good points “well you didn't choose to be turned into a vampire and their is no way back for you. It seems unfair” Celiene nods “my dear Oracle life is unfair for everyone. You need to make the most of your life and the choices you make” Seer nods and sits back again. “I didn't choose to be a shifter but if I could I would have. But….. I keep wondering if I'm still human. It feels wonderful when I'm a wolf it feels right. Like I'm free. Maybe I'm losing my old self” Seer looks down solemnly “Celiene leans foreward and puts her hands on Seers shoulder. “in wolf or human form you're still you. Just I'm still me even if I was turned. I believe that it feels better for you as a wolf because it allows you to let go” Seer looks at her confused Celiene explains “when your in your wolf form you don't have to act human and and can wrestle and play without having to worry about people judging you since you're a wolf.” Seer thinks about Cewolfs's words and smiles nodding “I imagine me being a wolf makes me feel like I belong with my pack” says Seer their eyes softening as they think about happy memories with Beth and the others “Bethany loved you before you became a shifter along with the rest of the pack” says Celiene. “they are the best thing that ever happened to me. And so are you” says Seer. “Thank you Celiene. I'm finally at peace” “Why didn't you speak to Bethany about all this?” Asks Celine giving them a curious look. “I thought about it….. But she still feels bad about hurting me. No matter how many times I tell her that it isn't her fault. I don't want to make her feel worse. She's done so much for me” “And you've done alot for her and her pack.” Says Celiene cutting in “Claire told me about the warning you gave Bethany about the poacher traps. And about the fire at the ranger station. You've brought safety and love to you're pack” Seer brushes her off but concedes she once again has a point. Seer and Celiene relax again and talk together until Seer falls asleep. Celiene thinks about calling Beth but she chooses to let her rest.
Troubling vison and a cozy bed
Chapter Summary During the night Seer has a vison while they sleep with Beth but they decide not to give her ang details about it since they don't want to worry her more
Beth and Seer stand on the dens balcony together its the very early morning Seer having been woken up by a nightmare. Through they aren't sure yet if it's a vison or if it was a regular nightmare. Beth is concerned but Seer puts on a brave face determined to not let Beth get more worried. Seer shivers in the cold while they take a deep breath hoping the chilled air of the wilderness will help them relax. “Love you can go back to sleep if you want too.” Says Seer turning to stare into Beth's beautiful eyes. But Beth shakes her head “they might be your visons but we're in this together now and forever” she says before pulling Seer closer to her. Eventually faitage gets the better of them and they walk together back inside being quiet not to wake up the others while they sneak back upstairs to the room Claire has lent them after she insisted Seer stay near her while they get used to being a shifter and Beth having refused to leave her mates side. They climb into their bed and relax on the thick matress with their warm blankets feeling cozy. “Honey will you shift for me?” Seer asks remembering back when they were ill and she let them cuddle with her wolf form to help them rest and get better. Beth nods quietly and she turns into her wolf form. Her fur is even thicker now due to the winter. Beth looks af Seer and they cant tell shes amsing if they're going to shift aswell since they know their mate well enough that they can tell what shes thinking. “I'd perfer to stay human since we don't want to break the bed” they say thinking about the time Knight and Evie did it. Secretly Seer also stays human since they don't want to risk accidently telling Beth what their vison was about since if they're both wolves they can communicate through their minds and Seer isn't used to censoring their thoughts. The love wolves snuggle up to each other and Seer puts their head against Beth's furry chest while Beth wraps her paws around Seer. They both drift off to sleep. Seer feeling warm and cozy but still troubled about what they saw.
Seer goes feral
Chapter Summary Seer starts to let their emotions go to Claire about their visons and being a Oracle
Seer wakes up in their bed still lying next to Beth, their mate still sleeps peacefully beside them. Seer quietly slips out off bed and walks out if the room. They walk down the stairs and met Claire who just came back from her early morning run. “You alright Seer? You look exhausted” Seer looks at her. “I I don't know” Claire gestures towards the couch in the dens living room and they sit down together facing each other “when you're ready” says Claire. Seer nods takes a deep breath and begins “Sometimes I hate having visons. Especially of bad things happening its only a possibility but that's the problem. I'm never sure about what to do about it. if I should say something or not. Since trying to avoid something might cause it to happen. But if I say nothing then you're not ready. I keep going in circles. Plus I'm an oracle so I could be seeing things that aren't real or could be the past or present which means that its already too late to do anything. Seer shudders and Claire keeps looking at Seer with concern not wanting to interrupt I told you about the fire at the ranger station and all that did was result in Ranger getting hurt. But if I didn't tell you it could have been worse. Seer starts to cry “Seer you're not being fair to yourself. You've done alot for us. You told us about the poacher traps that saved us from getting hurt. We're still greatful for that. “B but what about Evie. I didn't see her getting turned and now she's stuck in a fate she didn't choose and Knight aswell. Seer starts to hyperventilate. “Seer you need to calm down. You're still a new shifter this is dangerous” says Claire but Seer can't calm themselves and they start to shift. They begin to snarl at Claire like a mad beast. “Simon”Claire says quietly. While she slowly steps away from the wolf knowing that Seer isn't themselves and if they're threatening Seer might see them as a threat. Simon walks in and steps between Seer and Claire. “Seer I know you're in there” says Simon in vain. Claire “we just need to wait for them to snap out of it” says Claire. Both she and Simon continue to slowly back away as Seer continues to snarl their spit falling from their mouth onto the floor Beth wakes up and hears snarling she comes to investigate but stops dead on the stairs seeing whats happening bellow “Beth come help Seer calm down seeing you might make them snap out of it” Beth slowly walks down the stairs and looks deeply into her mates eyes and sees an animal behind them. “Beautiful? You need to calm down. Everything is going to be ok” says Beth still staring at Seers eyes. “they're terrified about their visons and the future” says Claire still weary “Beautiful remember those classes I took? They were so we could talk about your visons without freaking out. Like we did when you called me to help you sleep. We can talk about this. You need to come back to me.” Seers eyes begin to clear and they seem to snap awake. They take deep breaths and turn back into their human form. Seer realizes what happened. And begins to sob falling towards their knees “I'm sorry love. I I could have hurt you” Beth rushes foreward and Seer falls into her arms sobing like crazy while Beth tries to soothe them reassuring them it wasn't their fault and that they didn't do anything.

**Posting this in case someone else relates and wants to share opinions and have a conversation, open to questions and chat, mainly just as a journal entry that just so happens to be public**
Hey everyone, I'm 19f. My bday is coming up this weekend and I wanted to make a personal entry to log in some of my progress this year, progress includes personal wins and teachings. I had been going to therapy for 2 years pretty regularly (every week and sometimes twice a week in the first few months and then once every two weeks). At the start of this year, I had gone through a breakup which left me feeling quite exposed, and I didn't feel like exposing myself even more by continuing therapy during this time as I usually felt very bare and naked in front of my therapist (which is a good thing but just at this time I couldn't handle feeling that level of exposed in front of someone else). Anyway, I grew up experiencing forms of bullying throughout middle school, and this led me to isolate myself during high school. I stuck with the same group of girls (3 of us) but I didn't really feel connected to any of them (maybe I didn't let myself get close to them as I had a bad experience in middle school getting close to friends which ended in a toxic situation that involved all of us).
Beginning to heal:
Throughout my life, I have been very present in my now but always worried about the future in a way that would give me high levels of anxiety, especially throughout high school. The moment I realized I needed help was when one of my friends whom I had made in the first year of high school passed away. I realized that if I keep going on with my life I will end up living one that won't honour the privilege it is to be alive (especially in a generation and country where I have a ton of privileges that my previous ancestors couldn't even dream of). That is when I started therapy, discussing years of growing up in a toxic and abusive (physically and emotionally) household with parents who really shouldn't have been raising a child at that stage of their life, being moulded from an outgoing confident young girl to an ashamed and insecure girl, all in the span of two years. Going to therapy taught me to cry when I needed to, it taught me that I was a lot stronger than I thought I was, and a lot more hurt than I wanted to believe. Even though I felt exposed I continued going bc I knew that I couldn't continue living a life where I felt ashamed and undeserving of seeing to live another day. Anyway, that one puzzle piece that I felt was missing at this point in my life was the fact that I had never been in a relationship, I had always felt too insecure or scared to pursue anything.
Coincidently enough in my first year of uni, I met this guy and we started talking. I had pretty high expectations even though he and I shared very little in common. I started noticing that the compliments I would throw at him expecting compliments back, would never come (prob bc this wasn't the most foolproof way of seeking validation). I also noticed that he didn't really have a lot of things to say when I would ask him about where we stood, I was left feeling pushy and like he was uninterested. Those feelings that I had sort of suppressed and invalidated throughout my journey in therapy started to resurface. Feeling ugly and undeserving of love and destined to be alone clouded every thought I had about him. He started pulling back and it hit me so hard but I kept giving him another chance until I felt numb. The feeling of numbness, I disguised as being so done with him and not caring about when and what he would say to me now, but in reality right underneath the thin layer of disguise that I put up were the feelings of validation that I so badly sought from this one guy. The authority I gave to him to be able to determine the outcome of my recovery and personal healing felt like I crushed my spirit physically not just metaphorically. When the day came when we finally had the conversation about what happened throughout the course of the relationship I found myself being embarrassed for wanting to be loved and liked by this guy. He wanted to continue being friends but I knew that the first step of healing would be to be alone at this time away from something that I had given my power to. This was the first step of unpolluting my thoughts and clearing my consciousness. It was then that I realized how scary the situation had gotten and I thank god to this very day that they gave me strength enough to end it with him.
I reunited with my siblings (they are the silver lining of growing up in a family where I didn't feel loved), getting close to them and letting them know how much they meant to me throughout my scariest moments helped me heal wounds that were still bleeding. Throughout my year I had very difficult conversations with friends in which I had to draw boundaries and express my real raw feelings about how they treated me throughout this relationship. There were a lot of factors as to why I had allowed myself to feel powerless. But the biggest offender was me, coming to this realization helped me realize that it would have to be me that would prove as a saviour now bc in life the one constant that has gotten me into and out of situations both good and bad is myself.
Doing this without a therapist meant that I had more leeway to put my feelings on the back burner throughout my more strenuous days in uni but it also meant that I felt lows that I hadn't felt bc therapy had kept me quite stable throughout the months. I don't recommend stopping therapy but I do recommend trying things out in life that may not sound as conventional just to prove to yourself that you can. Even though I often do cry at night, I have come to the conclusion and accept that perhaps many of us do and that is nothing to be ashamed about. So I continue on this path of non-linear recovery and personal healing, and I wish everyone here and everywhere the same.
Today, I have decided that in honour of the upcoming bday blues I will just go ahead and write up a journal entry summarizing my thoughts, just like I used to do during therapy, only this entry is public :) <3

This is gonna be really long, I’m so sorry! This is my first time posting, and I'm on mobile. I've never been so upset in my life, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just need to know that I’m not crazy and that my feelings are reasonable.
TLDR: Roommate let me think that we shared ownership of our cats. For the last 3 years I have done 99% of the work taking care of them, including cleaning their litter box EVERY SINGLE DAY, buying their cat carriers and flea collars, and taking them for months at a time with no contact from her. Now that it's time to move out, they are suddenly only “her” cats, and she says I don't have any claim over them. She admitted to not thinking about them or prioritizing them and relying on me to take care of them.
For context, me and my roommate have been living together for 4 years. We started off as roommates in a dorm, then in a 6 person apartment with our friends, and then we moved into a small 2 bedroom house together for our last 2 years of college. The first 2 years I was in college, I went home every weekend, and often missed important group things. My family lives about an hour and a half away, and wifi at home was not good enough for me to just do online school during covid. When we were in the 6 person apartment, my roommate’s friends asked us to babysit their 2 kittens during a long weekend, and then decided that they didn’t want them back. When I came back, I got to meet them, and all 6 of us agreed that they would be our cats and we would take care of them.
After the first week, it became apparent that me and my roommate were the only two taking care of them. We all chipped in to get them fixed, and they lived in our apartment for a year. I took them home over all school breaks. Me and my roommate lined up our house before the semester ended. That summer she studied abroad in France for 3 months. I took the cats home with me. During this time, she never reached out to me a single time. She never checked on the cats, or asked if I needed anything. The first time she mentioned the cats was when I brought them to our shared home that I deep cleaned before she moved in. After that, school started again, and we were both busy. They were OUR cats, so I cleaned their litter box every day, I bought their food and litter every week, and played with them every day. I bought them a water fountain because they didn’t like still water, I bought their flea collars and had a schedule to change them in my phone calendar, I gave them deworming medicine, and I bought both of their cat carriers, leashes, and harnesses. I also brought a cabinet that my grandpa made for the cats to put their litter box in so it was hidden in our small house.
For the next two years that we were in the house, anytime we were both gone for more than a week, I took the cats home with me. I cleaned the litter box every single day. I bought almost all of their food and litter. I know what foods they do and don’t like, and which ones hurt their tummies. Anytime I rearranged my room, I did it with the cats in mind. I make sure to maximize their window room, and anything that could hurt them/they can’t have, I put on shelves they can’t reach. The cats are not allowed in my roommates room. Sometimes if she is in her room they can go with her, but my room door is never shut. The cats slept with me almost every night, and I have hundreds of pictures on my phone with them on my face or curled up under the blankets with me. I leave my door cracked when I sleep so they can come and go as they please.
When I am gone for long weekends I check with my roommate to make sure that she will be home to take care of the cats, but when I come back, the litterbox is always full. We have two cats and one litter box, that’s why I clean it every day. The handful of times she bought them food or litter, it was the cheapest bulk item from Sams, and they don’t like that food. Sometimes the food would give them stomach issues and I would have to buy their regular food and replace it. The cats do not like fish, and they typically respond the best to sensitive stomach food.
Now, at the beginning of our last semester, she began making comments in front of me to the cats. She would say things like “Oh, you guys are gonna love (city that she is moving to after graduation)!”. I didn’t have the energy or emotional capacity to say anything when they first started, but I would wake up at night crying because I was so anxious and worried about losing the cats. In the past whenever other people asked us what was happening with the cats, she would look at me and say “We’ll figure it out closer to time.” I always thought this meant we would have a conversation about it, but I guess I’m just naive. Two weeks before the semester started, I lost one of my grandfathers. We were really close, and it hit me really hard. I was also taking 18 credit hours so I could graduate on time. This may not seem like a lot, but I am a STEM major at a rigorous school, and most people I know don’t take more than 14 credit hours at a time. I was also doing unpaid work to try and finish my thesis before graduation. On top of that, both of my childhood dogs died a few days apart in the first month of the semester. I have a necklace with their faces on them and wore them religiously. I am a pet lover, and I always have been.
After the semester ended, and we graduated, we still had our lease for 2-3 more months. I am very non confrontational, and we have never had a single argument or disagreement. This made me even more anxious about talking to her about the cats, so I wrote down a paragraph to read to her. I also made a spreadsheet documenting the receipts I had for the money I’ve spent on the cats. This only goes back about a year and a half due to accounts that I made and when the records start. This does not include the 3 months she was away or the year and a half before the receipts. It also doesn’t include places where I don’t have accounts. This number is only a fraction of what I have spent on the cats since we’ve had them. One night I sat her down, and asked her to hear me out. Here is the paragraph I read her:
“It hurts my feelings that you let me put so much time, energy, and money into the cats without saying something if you didn't consider me to be an owner too. You didn't even think I deserved a conversation about what's happening to the cats when we graduate, even though in the past you said we would figure it out when people asked. I feel like I at least deserve a conversation. I thought they were OUR cats, so I've been treating them that way. This has been keeping me awake at night and really stressing me out. I made a spreadsheet with receipts I have saved from the past 1-2 years from Kroger, Target, and amazon (limited by how far back the websites save my purchases/ when I started an account), not to mention the purchases that weren’t saved from places like publix, dollar general, and pet stores. I’ve spent over a thousand dollars of my money on the cats. I have a spreadsheet if you want the proof and to see where I spent the money. I also bought both of their cat carriers, all of their flea collars, and their deworming medicine. I keep track of when their flea collars need to be changed and when to buy new ones. I cleaned their litter box every single day until after me and (boyfriend) started dating, and even now I clean it every other day at least. I’ve watched the cats for months at a time on my own, and the longest I’ve ever been away from the cats is 9 days when I was in (location) for lab work. I feel like the cats know that I love them and do a lot to make sure they’re taken care of. If I knew that I wasn’t even considered one of their owners, then I wouldn’t have taken so much responsibility for them. It’s breaking my heart to think that I may not ever see them again, and if I knew that from the beginning, I never would have let myself get so attached or do the majority of the work to take care of them. I feel like I’ve been taken for granted, and I really don’t think it’s fair to me to not even discuss who should get the cats.”
When she responded, she gaslit me and tried to take credit for things she didn’t do. She said that if I thought they were shared, I should’ve asked her for help or reminded her to do things. She said she cleans their litterbox every other day, and I told her I know that's not true because I DO clean it every single day and I would notice if it were cleaner than normal. Also, the litterbox is full when I come home from 2 day trips. I told her that if she is an owner, she shouldn’t need reminders and she should know their needs and take care of them on her own. She then said that I just was more on top of it than her, and I told her that there were plenty of opportunities for her to step up and take care of them, but she never did. I gave her examples of when I did and did not tell her I wouldn’t be able to do something, and when I came home they were not done.
She said that if it's about money, she’d pay me half of the amount on the spreadsheet. I told her I don’t care about the money and that I would pay her 3 times what we’ve combined spent on the cats if it means I get to keep them. She has a much better paying job than me, but I love the cats and they are priceless to me.
She said that I didn’t have to do everything that I did, and I told her that if I didn’t the cats would’ve gone without. I told her that if I knew that I wasn’t at least partially their owner I would’ve set boundaries and I never would’ve taken on so much responsibility. I know how to prepare myself to not get attached, but she never gave me that chance. She said that I called them “my roommate's cats” and I told her that was not true. You can ask anyone that’s ever been to our house, not just my friends, but hers too, and no one has ever heard me say that. I ALWAYS call them “my cats, our cats, or mine and my roommate's cats.”
She then admitted that it wasn’t fai to me, and she shouldn’t have let me do so much work, but that they are still her cats and she is taking them. I felt like she was blaming me for being a good caretaker??? I asked her why she let me do so much work if they weren’t also my cats? She said that she had more responsibilities outside of the house than I do. I told her that’s irrelevant. I have things to do too, BUT I prioritize the cats. It doesn’t matter what is going on in our lives because the cats still need to be taken care of. They need immediate care and attention and you can’t just put off their care like you can other chores. I literally would leave campus in the afternoon to clean their litter box, give them clean water, and play with them for at least 30 minutes before going back to campus and working until 3 in the morning. If I went to stay the night with my boyfriend, I would tell him I couldn’t come over until I cleaned their litter box and played with them and fed and watered them. Friends of mine can vouch that I have left in the middle of things or came late or left early to make sure the cats were taken care of. She then admitted that she didn’t always pay attention to their needs because she knew that I would take care of them.
Then she said that she did more chores around the house and I know that’s not true. Everytime I clean the litter box I sweep AND vacuum the WHOLE house. Until the last semester, I was mopping once a week after vacuuming. Until the last semester, I did dishes more often and cleaned the bathroom more often. I took the trash cans to the curb every week because she had the day wrong that the garbage truck came. I may have been slacking on my dishes the last semester but its because I would rather take care of the cats than the dishes if I don’t have time for either. I didn’t have time, but I made time because I am responsible for the cats.
She said that she didn’t think one of us cared more about the cats than the other did. I was gifted a sweater with their faces on it, and I bought us matching shirts with their pictures on them. I asked her if she had any specific pictures she wanted on the shirts and she said “no, you definitely have more pictures of them than I do anyway.” She then brought up my dead dogs and how much I cared about them. She said my personality was just animal lover. I told her that even if that’s true, I know how to not get attached if I know the animal isn’t mine, and that I never would have done so much for them.
I then asked her what would happen when I’m gone, she can’t just not prioritize them. She said she bought a litter robot because she knows I won’t be there to clean the litter box every day. When I mentioned her study abroad trip and how she never once checked on them or even just when she would go on short trips, never worrying about them, she said she was just grateful to have someone taking such good care of them while she was gone. I told her that she never once told me thank you before now. I told her that if I knew they weren’t also mine, I would never have agreed to watch them over breaks because I would be too attached.
I asked her about their flea collars and other medicine and their food preferences, or when they have upset stomachs. She thought you just put a flea collar on once and leave it forever. She didn’t know they had worms. She knew the food she got them was one they didn’t like and hurt their stomachs. In the past, I went to 3 different stores to get their food that they like, but couldn’t find it and was complaining to her I had to get a kind that doesn’t hurt their tummies but that they’ll tolerate eating. She said “they’re cats, they won’t starve, it doesn’t really matter.” I’ve also been the only one to buy and give them wet food weekly. She said that it’s unfair to me and she should’ve communicated better, but that they are her cats and she’s still taking them. I told her I felt like she took advantage of me and she said “I don’t think I’ve taken advantage of you, I think I took you for granted.” By this point I was crying, and she started to cry, and told me I was her best friend and she loved me and didn’t want this to be an argument.
I am devastated. I thought we were friends, but friends don’t do this to each other. I have always been there for her, and I would drop everything to help her. Now I can’t even look at her. I sent her a text message after staying at my boyfriends for a few days:
“I don't want your money, I want the cats. I was willing to pay 3 times what we've both spent on the cats to keep them, and you offered less than half of what I've spent by myself on only essentials for the cats in the last year and a half. The money isn't what matters to me. I want the cats. I don't think you understand how much this hurts me. You've taken advantage of me for 3 years and we both know this isn't fair to me. Every day for the last 3 years you made the choice to let me take care of the cats. You let me clean their litter box every single day, buy their food and litter every week, and more.
When I went away for long weekends, I told you in advance to make sure you would be home to take care of the cats and every time I came home to a full litter box that was disgusting. The longest I've ever gone without seeing them is 9 days and I was worrying about them the whole time. When you were in France you never once checked on the cats or offered to buy their food and litter while I had them. The first time you've ever said thank you was when I sat you down and talked to you about why I feel like I should take the cats. That was really shitty on your part and I never would've taken on so much responsibility for them if I knew they were only “your” cats.
You said I call them “my roommate’s cats,” but we both know that's not true and I've never once referred to them as yours. I have always called them ours. I've prioritized the cats' health and happiness and sacrificed a lot of my time, money, and opportunities to take care of them.
Our responsibilities outside of the house are irrelevant, you should have been paying attention to their needs if they were “your” cats. Even when I didn't have time to come home, I made the time to check on them. I would come home in between assignments to play with them and clean their litter box then go back to campus until 3 in the morning to finish my work. I cared about them, so I made the time to take care of them. If you are really their owner you shouldn't need me to remind you to take care of “your” cats. You wouldn't need me to clean their litter box every day. You would know what their favorite foods are and which foods hurt their tummies. You should know and be able to anticipate the needs of “your” cats if you are their owner. You would know that they had worms and needed deworming medicine. You would know that flea collars need to be changed regularly, and when to buy new ones to replace them.
We both know that if the cats needed something, it wouldn't get done unless I did it. The cats aren't like other chores and they need immediate care and attention. You can’t just put it off. If the last 3 years are a reflection of how you take care of “your” cats, then my heart is breaking for them. If you take them, we are no longer friends and I will never forgive you. I hope you start actually taking care of them and treating them the way they deserve. Don't ever talk to me again unless you're giving me the cats. If they turn out to be too much I'll always be happy to take them back.”
She responded with this:
“I know there is nothing I can say to apologize for the way you feel because of me, but I am truly sorry. I can see that whether you or I have the cats, we are no longer friends. This hurts me to my core since you have been my only best friend for the last 4 years. This doesn’t excuse my actions and it honestly makes them worse.
Since we can’t be friends I want you to at least know that the cats are being taken care of. I have committed to being a better owner (far too late unfortunately for us).
As far as the money goes I don’t care that you don’t want it back. I will be paying you the full price on the spreadsheet regardless of how it gets to you because it’s fucked up for me to abuse you like that.
I will be moving out on May 29. I’ll be in contact with (landlord) and my half of rent will continue to be paid. I’m so sorry that this is the end of our friendship. Never in a million years would I think to be losing a friend like you, but I guess I should’ve realized what I had before I lost it. I understand that you never want to speak to me again, but if you ever need anything you can always reach me.
Please know I really do love you and I’m sorry again. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I don’t want you to worry about the cats. I’ll do everything I can for them to live their absolute best life as you would have them.”
I think that what she did was intentional. If she knew she was going to take the cats all along, why did she never tell me or stop me from taking care of them? I really feel like she knew she could just use me. She said during our conversation that she didn’t expect to talk about this, and she looked shocked that I brought it up at all. In the past she’s admitted that she’s good at manipulating people but she chooses not to. I know her really well, considering we’ve lived together for 4 years now. Her apologies didn’t seem sincere to me, it felt like she was just trying to brush everything under the rug and make me stop crying because she was uncomfortable.
I can’t go home, every time I’ve tried, I start spiraling. I can’t stop crying. I don’t even want to go into the house when she’s gone. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from them. I feel so awful. I really wish I recorded our conversation because now I’ve been considering taking her to civil court for custody. Am I overreacting? I know I’m being dramatic, but I feel like I’m losing my mind. They’re my babies, and I feel like I’m abandoning them. Typically I’m a doormat but this is where I draw the line. What do I do now?

Hey guys! I recently bought a t480 with a known broken keyboard for $71 ($90 shipped) and installed arch on it. (Upgrades coming soon!) Usually my arch installs go pretty good, but I guess I had some bad luck with this notebook and I have had a ton of issues getting the fingerprint reader to work, (still haven't been able to get it, installed python3-validity, enrolled my finger, enabled resume and suspend, but I get fingerprint on first boot but never subsequently.) but my main issue is that it seems to without fail my laptop will just die while in deep sleep(according to the logs), and when I open my laptop it'll display a reasonable number (for example 39%) of battery left and then suddenly after 2 minutes drop to 0% and then shut down. I also had it bork my install where it wouldn't actually boot into gnome, but into tty1, did a full reinstall, hopefully that doesn't happen again.
TLDR: issue: close laptop, go to sleep, wake up, open laptop, battery 39%, 2 minutes goes by, battery 0%, Thinkpad shuts down. Any archers know what's going on?

I am 31, transguy. All through my 20s I worked hard manual labor jobs in factories to help support my family. My mom and dad have fought, viciously, my entire life. To the point that it has permanently affected my sociability / self-esteem, since my brother and I were usually pulled into the middle of it.
When I was working a pretty good job around age 21-22, I found out my mother had started stealing small amounts of money from me off my debit card. Upon checking my back account, I saw these suspicious withdraws of 30-100$. I confronted her, she gaslit me, but I eventually figured out she was stealing the money to get drugs. Not weed ( though I'm sure she was buying that, too ), but meth. She went downhill fast from there. Fighting got worse, eventually I gave her an ultimatum since I was paying all the bills and the house was under my name due to her bad credit. Either she could get out of the house and get rehab, or just leave because I was tired of the weird randos she had in and out of the house. Not to mention at one point I caught her doing meth off of a drawing I made her in high school ( off the glass. ) She still denies that to this day.
Long story short, she chose to leave. The break up of her and my dad was...hellish, but I dealt with it for the next 6 years. Made my dad get on disability to help and get his teeth fixed ( he hadn't eaten a solid food for like...yearsss, 10 at least. ) He started doing better for himself and I felt ready to move on with my life and do something with it. I am currently in Florida, going to be a Senior in college this year, but it hasn't been...good back home.
My brother was living in the new apartment we moved to that my dad gets rent help with a few years before I went to live in Florida to help out. He told me he would stay there to help out, but after I left, he quickly lost his job. This was 3 years ago, he still does not have a job. About a year ago we come to find out my brother started doing meth with my mom. Sores all over him, refuses to get help, shady business, stealing, fights with my dad where I swear they are going to kill each other. They always call / message me when it gets to these points, I have so many text messages and voice recordings of this that it makes me sick.
I feel like I'm the only mature one in my family. I'm always relied on to fix it, or make it better, or give life direction. I have bad mental issues myself, but I always push that aside to deal with my family.
Even now my fiance and I have decided to bring my dad here to stay with us, even though financially it has been hard. I simply see no other solution at this point, I fear every day waking up to a call that they've hurt each other.

LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE
Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: MXN $20,000 (Mexico)
Are you open to refurbs/used? No How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Perfomance is my maximum priority and I'd like a good battery life!
How important is weight and thinness to you? Not important at all
Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. 15.6" or something similar. Not very small.
Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. Illustrator, Photoshop, Premiere.
If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Minecraft perhaps haha
Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? Reliable build quality since I intend to travel with it, needs to be resistant!
Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. I work with very big files on Illustrator (usually 4-5GB per file) so performance is key!

[Let me know if a chapter a week is okay; I'm thinking it might be a bit too often. Run Zero: https://redd.it/1csb71x Run One: https://redd.it/1cwxbsg]
The mining foreman refused to go to sleep, and watched intently as Tightniks finally reached over and set it home with one hand. Its last nervous little sigh was the only thing he remembered-
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...
32s: First trap.
He built it big this time, and there are six trimps in there. They look familiar somehow, the light one with dark hair and an unusually short and broad tail compared to the rest, a big-eared green one, a grey one, a yellow one, and a red one with big paws and "XIII" on its rump, and a brown one with pink ears that takes the lead and cheers, "Kakka!" Once he lets them out, they all follow him intently around like just-hatched birds do their mother. He shows them the busted off cockpit and forward cabin of the ship he just crashed and they get inside and start da- ...nope, sticking with "dancing". He busies himself looking for the survival pad.
Until he hears the squeak of a baby trimp. They're feeding it- ...rocks. Carefully selected, aluminate rocks. What the heck are they doing? Whatever, I've got to get some conventional food for- What's that? He's got the survival pad already, but this was outside the ship, it must have materialized when he descended through that glowing grey mist getting out. He gets it flipped over and turned on.
"Manual portal activation 2 successful:" it displays, "rare shield equipped 54%Stg 14%Atk MT 0 Nu loaded / 399 He loaded / Metal challenge active / Total portal activation 956"
Metal challenge? The human selects it.
"You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to bring you to an alternate reality, where the concept of Miners does not exist, to force yourself to become frugal with equipment crafting strategies. If you complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling the challenge, miners will re-unlock."
He's so confused, What the Loy is a Dimension of Anger? I think I have a headache from this high gravity. Sits down for a moment.
Notices that one of the trimps is sleeping in a small deep hole just at the edge of the garden, apparently to have a nap in standing upright.
I don't believe you, "portal". I'm training that one first chance I get!
56s: Pop full.
There are ten of them already?? I'm still working this derpy little potato patch to get enough food to bulk up just ONE of the- He looks at the portal pad and blurts out loud, "Fifty-six SECONDS??" He postulates that he's in a time-dilated environment, and that the portal is measuring time somewhere "out there", this "map frame" environment. It's like those Star Trek episodes he can't remember "Wink of an Eye" and "Blink of an Eye" that he can't quite remember. [One of them is Star Trek TOS, and one of them is Star Trek: Voyager and I forget which one came from where.]
1m57s: Arable in Z1c13.
The human walks along and one of the trimps viciously fights the various hostiles that try to come at him, staying ahead. Just behind, he finds that hole-digger busted into a cave big enough for 9 of them, and they start raising babies to fill it up.
3m37s: Miners in Z1c30.
It's broken! he notices of the data card he just picked up. It's one of the ones that flew out of the ship when he undogged the ship's side hatch, but it didn't survive. What was on it? He's got a vague memory of a big tanuki-tailed trimp, much bigger than the- Wait! This memory is of hole-digger all grown up. So this is- he looks at the smashed data card in his hand, ...this is the Miners card. At least there's some lying about so we're not totally deprived of metal.
That's odd. I'm sure I spent longer training this little guy than "one second map frame." The human looks at the black trimp with the grey head fur and silvery eyes, "So, can you say something yet?"
"Shijou." [Takane and Takanya are not black, it is their favorite clothing color.]
"Okay, can you say something else?"
9m12s: Zone 1, 40 pop, 3.5s RC with Z0/1, 13m19s turkimp. 12m55s: First scientist.
"Tai," his first scientist waves at him.
"Hmm," the human tries to think of a better test, "What color is the sky?"
"Shijou." The exasperated human is about to sigh in despair when he notices a card in its hands, with one word on it, "Blue."
"What?" he takes it, "You can't speak but you can write, huh?"
"Shijou," it twirls its paw off the end of the card in his hand. The human turns it over, and in small writing, it has "Technically, the sky isn't blue, it's a foible of Rayleigh scattering in an oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere. And you have 'TIGHTNIKS' embroidered on the left side of your uniform."
A look of astonishment sweeps over the human. I never taught it about Rayleigh scattering. Apparently, the scientist training has unlocked its brain to access the collected knowledge of a previous life! Then he looks at his uniform and groans, spanking his eyebrows in realization. The trimp had apparently noticed him wandering around the camp wracking his brain and talking to himself trying to remember his own name, and it's right there the whole time! He spanks his eyebrows again.
The very well fed grey-headed trimp starts doing experiments, leaving him to take the turkimp back to his farmers. Too bad it's only a quarter as fast at it as he is.
32m25s: Zone 3, 79 pop, 4.5s RC with Z1/2; c16, 79 pop, 6.8s RC with Z2/3.
"Nano! Nano, nano, nano." The D&B (that's dodge and block) foreman has an impressive yellow mane, light face, green body, and brown hind limbs, and moves like a blur when it decides to. When asleep, it's as unarousable as an exhumed fossil, except with the food article Yellow the scientist calls an "owny geary". [Puchim@s Afuu]
Helping it out is a brown-maned white trenching expert Tightniks finds oddly familiar. It has no problem mining, but couldn't start a fire if its life depended on it, so smelting is out of the question.
I guess that's how the Metal challenge really works. Too bad I suck at it. Tightniks is spending all his smelting time smacking out nails and joist hangers for the houses, and has nothing left for fighting gear.
1h53m25s: Zone 9, 306 pop, 7.9s RC with Z8/15, no turkimp.
The white trimp with the brown head fur- ...whichever one it is because it, or one that looks just like it, sometimes (apparently) burns itself up or blows itself up trying to build a metallurgical furnace. This one is digging a hole right now, into the concrete of some ruined building's foundation. It hits some strapping and rebar, makes a happy sound, follows it along and gets it sorta clear of the concrete bonded to it, and rips it out of the ground to throw on the metal pile. It now seems content to do that instead of trying to smelt ores.
"Red?" Tightniks glances at one of his scientists, "Do you think we could take it to- What's that place you said you visited five hundred years after some misty fight or-"
"Cloudy strife," it says, "Yeah, Midgimp is like that, we could probably map a route through there. Lots of metal. Especially the part that had an avalanche happen and fell down. Broke all that stuff out of the ground already." [Final Fantasy VII and Advent Children cinematic and Sector 7 collapse.]
"Okay," Tightniks says, "Let's do that."
5h32m02s: Zone 21, 2042 pop, 14.9s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from-" he gasps, "Waitamint!" He starts searching for the portal pad.
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
The human has his portal pad up and reads aloud, "You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to- yada yada yada. Tiss tiss t- complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling- miners will re-unlock."
\BOOM\** They turn to see (another of) the white brown-haired trimp'/s' attempts at a metallurgical furnace explode, and it seems both very frustrated and has really hurt its toe.
He snaps his fingers, "That's gotta be it. Although, does it mean 'miners' or 'furnaces'?" He re-reads the portal pad while the scientists shrug.
"Shijou," the grey one has just finished tracing the route map the gem was showing.
"Are we going any faster than on previous cycles, you think?" he asks Red.
"What's a cycle?" Red asks.
"We're stuck in time loop, you realize?" the human says.
"Well," the yellow one jumps off a little rock spire it was using to see farther ahead, directly into a seated position on the ground with an impressive thump the human can both hear with his ears and feel through the ground of the more-than-Earth gravity planet, "that explains a few things." The little scientist trimp seems quite morose at the news.
"This thing says the fastest we've ever got this 'anger' map done is ten hours, thirty-five, but the clock right now is at five hours, thirty-four." Tightniks tilts his head, frowns one eyebrow, and taps, "Getting it done faster increases attack damage somehow, and oh-"
"What now?" the yellow one asks, still seated beside the spire.
"It says we already got a 2.5%-er for having a million traps," the human says, "I don't remember doing that. Maybe..." he sighs, "Maybe that's a good thing, 'cus I'd probably go insane building them all. Still though, it says we're going faster, but it doesn't feel like it."
"How'd you know how it feels," Red asks, "if you don't remember it?"
"'Day jaw voo' I think is the term," the human says, "or something. The sense that all this has happened before, but I'm not quite remembering and there's no physical evidence of it."
"Shijooooooooooo..." the grey one moans, waving a card at him. On it:
"In order, but we don't know if that means chronological order or frequency/proportion of memories:
"- The ship crashes (pretty sure that happens every time) "- The human builds huts "- The human teaches some trimps to speak and do science "- The human builds houses "- The human makes maps "- The human builds mansions "- The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp "- The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels "- The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp "- The human only recently/rarely mapped the Dimension of Anger"
Tightniks sits down and offers it back.
"Tai," it flatly refuses to take it back, paws up and eyes closed.
"It's kind of a relief," Tightniks rubs his temples, then looks at it again, "knowing it ain't just me."
6h17m43s: Portal PB, 1% AP for sub-8h, 45 He, 7.149 He/hr, 2209 pop, 13.6s RC.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' dagger points goes into it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Yellow, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Dagger V, Mark 2 with both hands-
Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, the pilot turns on the radar for the final approach and takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and primary flight display...
He crouches, sets the dagger down gently, then starts clearing the debris from the box's grab iron. He tries to lift it- Damn, this is heavy! As he gets it turned over, gravity finishes the job, and it shakes the ground with an impressive thud as it falls right side up.
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE UP" There's a square cutout in the middle of one side of it, with a sliding cover at the bottom of it.
"Get the pad!" he screams, seeing that his scientists are almost done rolling up the megablimp.
The grey one already has the survival data pad and offers it to him.
"The big one," Tightniks clarifies, "The big one." he picks up wide flat rainbow cable and its edge socket in one hand, "It goes here," he points at it with the other. "It must have come with me-" He had taken the small survival data pad and notices something, "Oh?" He starts looking around, "Hey!"
The white trimp with the brown hair is napping in a hole next to the smouldering remains of its latest attempt at a smelting furnace.
"Hey, mining buddy!" he whistles at it, "Mining buddy!"
It wakes with a start and rushes over, but doesn't seem to be in a good mood. But as soon as Tightnik shows it the survival pad, with all of the mining data installed just as if all those broken data cards and scorched scrolls were intact when he found them, fireworks goes off in the little trimp's eyes and it rushes off with the pad. Within minutes, the first furnace that works is chugging away at some ore and it returns to give the survival data pad back to Tightniks.
7h24m49s: Fresh turkimp; 7h25m30s: Labor reallocated.
The big-eared green lumber foreman's mood fell much further than the mining foreman's mood was before Tightniks packed up the turkimp roaster and moved just about everyone over to the smeltery.
The brown-haired, big-tailed white mining foreman was surprised at the change, and very happy. It had climbed up onto the helium compressor cart to check something on the pad a couple cells into the zone.
"Are you upset with me?" the red one asks the human.
"No, not at all," Tightniks says, "Are you getting the feeling that we had an upset at this point last cycle?"
"How would you know it was only the last?" Yellow asks, "Your memory's no better than ours."
"Right," the human sews another patch into his uniform, "However, I've only actually hit the switch on the portal twice, the first one on a challenge called Discipline, and the second on a challenge called Metal, which we just finished. It's easy to sort out from the statistics. I'm nervous it'll get harder to sort out when we're up to, oh," done fixing his uniform, he pops a bit of turkimp into his mouth and chews a couple times, "a few dozen or hundred manual cycles."
"Friggin' solve this faster than that, please," Red grumbles, "I know the emergency counter got to nearly a thousand, but..." he kinda trails off. Finally, he says, "I think we're remembering more cycle to cycle as we get more helium into it. I mean, I'm glad that isn't the only mechanic."
"Can't miss the supernova if it is," the human ponders.
"What?" Yellow chuckles.
"I'm remembering something from before all this, I think it was called a video game, where you'd go forward real-world in the simulation of a time loop, and your real-life head remembering what you did on previous cycles was the only mechanic," the human takes another bite, then dons his uniform shirt while chewing it. After his head pops out of the not-so-crisp-and-fresh uniform neck hole, buttons still done up, he finishes, "one of them had a supernova." [That would be Outer Wilds among the bunch of games with this mechanic, er, Minnit (I know it's spelled differently than "minute"), 12 Minutes, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, and- ...I'm sure there are more.]
11h19m28s: Starting void 1 (L30).
With the thermal gloves on, Tightniks gets the void map into the portal device slot. It dematerializes and his fingers close where it used to be in his hands, then he yelps, stands up and starts dancing, "Oh crap, it's cold!" He quickly starts looking for stuff to bundle up. Once not too uncomfortable, he notices something, "You're having trouble, too?"
"No," Yellow and Red look at each other, "Well, not with the cold; this route has a poisonous atmosphere, slows down our young assimilating aluminum at the proper rate."
"Manning the traps will work at full speed, right?" Tightniks says.
"Should if your fingers can handle it," Red confirms.
11h33m57s: Void 1c100.
"You are one ugly muthaf[garble]!" he says when he sees the void boss, "Stay here, I'll be back." Runs some traps, grabs a couple helmets for the fresh volunteers, "Put these on."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the red one, really rather perplexed.
"I agree, that's not his usual accent," Red tilts his head, "Tightniks, what has gotten in to you?"
"Stop cheering me up," the human grumbles, "You think this is the real Quaid?"
"I think the cold is affecting him more than he realizes," Yellow offers.
"Phased plasma rifle in the forty watt range," but what the dizzy pilot actually throws at the zone boss is a Mace V-4, "and then I was thinking of breaking your neck."
[Felt like some- "Arnie? Well, the union is pulling out all the big guns today, huh?" (Tom Hanks as Sully) ...no, brain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, not Arnie Gentile (it was really funny to background Sully and listen to that line instead of "That's definitely you" in Terminator 2 while he's posing with the Minigun.) Arnie lines from Predator, Terminator 2, True Lies, Total Recall and The Terminator.]
"Tweak the portal," reads Tightniks from the portal controller aloud, but quietly, "to bring you to an alternate reality, where Trimps are bigger and stronger, to force yourself to figure out a way to build larger housing. Your Trimps will gather 50% more resources, but your housing will fit 50% fewer Trimps. If you complete The Dimension of Anger without disabling the challenge, your stats will return to normal."
"You will also open a new memory coolant unit," Yellow reads, "You think that'll cause a housing bonus?"
"Shijou," the grey one hands him a card saying "We have enough for another gateway."
"Oh, good," Tightniks hands it back after signing it, "Yes, build it."
"We're doing that next?" Yellow asks.
Tightniks sees the little fellow sitting on top of a mound that the human thought was a bowel movement pile from Draglimp, but it must be something more geological if trimps can climb it, let alone want to. "Yeah, I guess," the human answers, "It kinda scares me, I mean I'm going back, but what happens to you guys?"
"We have too much day javo or whatever you called it," Red says. He's usually on all fours, shakes his left hind leg as though something got stuck to his foot, "This isn't incrementing, I'm sure. 13 is less than 956."
"According to this, you'll be twice as big," Tightniks sets down the portal controller pad and stands up from the cart, "It's hard to imagine, especially for Shijou and Diggy. We'll clear thirty-six, that's it."
14h04m37s: Z33c95, IC.
"Are you sure we can make Zone 37 start?" the red one asks.
The yellow one is standing on Red's shoulders.
"It said we did last time," Tightniks taps on the crude leather bag strapped to his back, the portal pad inside it, "though maybe..." he tilts his head, rolls whatever he was sucking on in his mouth for a moment, "it just happened while I was building those traps. No, I'm sticking with that plan."
"If it's going to take that long," Red grinds its jaws sideways for a moment and lets its eyelids get lazy, frustration clear in its tone, "why do it again?"
"Because I've got a bad feeling about this 'Size' thing," Tightniks says, "it drops our resourcing by 75% assuming we build the same amount of housing as before, which we won't because of the reduced resourcing. We needed 65 capacity in the cabin and huts before we could do run the gypsum/paper wall machine we found. I have a funny feeling that never changes."
"We don't need 65 trimps to run it," Yellow says, "just three."
"Yeah," Tightniks says, "but a particular three that know what they're doing, and my day javoo is telling me the last of those is always the sixty-fifth."
"Shijou," the grey one moans from the other side of Tightniks. Didn't have a note this time, just kicking a little rock along as it walks.
"It thinks you're right," the red one growls forlornly, "Hating to say it, but I do too."
14h16m06s: Skel in c1, 50 bones purchased whipimp.
There's a thump at the cart, and then some commotion around it that's noticable enough for Tightniks to come over and take a look. The bone box is empty, all forty-nine titanium bones in it are gone. Tightiks brings his right hand up in front of him, and it's just a balled fist, the bone he was holding a moment ago is gone. As he starts looking for where he must have dropped it, he realizes maybe it's all related. Looking in the bottom of the empty bone box, he finds a note.
"I got you the whipimp. This new Bad Guy will begin spawning in your next zone at an average of 3 spawns per 100 enemies. I hope it helps, but I can't tell yet."
The note is in Tightniks' own handwriting, although lazy but with more consistent kerning. Is this from an older version of myself? Friggin' time travel.
14h18m48s: This L34 moun 160/27/79 calls itself "Magical Mountain" - I can't remember whether the Disney trademark is that or "Magic Mountain" ...I've seen a "Black Mesa" before, that's a Half-Life thing, and somebody on Reddit made pretend that "Dank Hill" was a King of the Hill thing (which is actually *Hank Hill, I think - it's hard to remember, it wasn't very good and I haven't watched it since the 1990s.)
19h32m00s: Doom/AT, 12816 pop, 80N, 37.7s RC with Z34/5298.
"Okay, we got that friggin' thing chocked," Yellow wipes its brow and almost bonks itself with the Mace VI-2 that it's holding, puts it down and makes sure the wedges are secure.
Grey, Red, and Green are packing more stuff around the huge boulder that chased them down a tunnel to make sure it doesn't do that again.
"Getting any day javoo?" Tightniks pants, hands on his knees, but apparently uninjured, or nearly so.
"Not at all," Yellow vehemently responds, slashing the air with its paw, "You?"
"Oh," Tightniks gets his breathing under control, "I think it was a human movie."
"Like a video on that pad?" it gestures at the human's pocket with the small one.
"No, a bigger screen," the human says.
"Fifty-five inches?" the trimp scientist chuckles.
"More like fifty-five feet," the human rubs the sweat out of his eyes, "Lots of people watching. It was called a sin."
"Ah," the trimp ponders, "Like a crime, vice, psychopathy or bad habit?"
"Er..." the human taps his forehead trying to remember, "Sorry, a cinema."
[The whole thing is obviously an homage to something I remember only slightly better than Tightniks, I think it was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. As I'm posting this, I sadly realize that Nick Rekieta's arrest was between when I wrote this and now.]
19h58m55s: Zone 37, 473 He, 23.67 He/hr, 13088 pop, 81N, 32.1s RC with Z34/5298, 2806 pop short, no turkimp.
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...

I, 35 female, had been in an on again off again relationship with my boyfriend, 45 male, for the last 3 years. I won't bore you with the details of how we met and what went on for the last 3 years of our relationship, I'm just going to get to the point.
Back in late September 2023, my boyfriend moved to Iowa. We had just gotten back together when he sprung that on me and I was rather upset at first but knew that he was only moving because it was for his mental health. Living in the big city can be very costly and stressful, so I understood his reasoning. I did not go with him and figured we would go our separate ways. Fast forward four months later and I get a message from him through Facebook messenger asking me to call him. I call him and learned rather quickly that he had been drinking but he was asking why I suddenly ghosted him by not replying back to his texts or calls. For context, I never blocked his number.
I told him that I did not get any of his texts or calls. He asked me why I never tried reaching out to him and I explained that I thought him moving away and not staying in contact meant the end of our relationship. We had a lengthy conversation that night and he asked me to come visit him. I told him that I will consider it but would need to build up some PTO as I had just started a new job and didn't want to risk anything during my first 90 days. We stayed in touch after that, calling each other daily and talking on the phone for hours just catching up and going over mutual interests and so on until I've built up enough PTO to go visit him.
You may wonder why I was the one to go visit him in Iowa. Firstly, he wanted me to see the town he had decided to settle in. Secondly, we had discussed resuming our relationship and possibly having me move out there as it was out of the question for him to move back to the city where I live. I understood his reasoning for moving but felt that leaving the life I have behind for him felt a bit extreme. But I kept an open mind about Iowa and went to visit (side note, there are no direct flights to where he moved to. I had to fly to Chicago, which is a 2.5 hour drive away and he had to rent a car to pick me up). I spent a four day weekend with him, and I'm not going to lie and say that it was magical and romantic because it's Iowa. Seeing him again, however, brought back all the feelings I had for him and I realized just how much I had missed him.
I honestly didn't see much during my visit as it wasn't a dense town like I would see back home, as everything was very spread out. That should have been my very first clue to the kind of life it was like. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a change. Unlike the city where it was always busy and sirens going off in the distance was a constant, at night it's dead silent. It was definitely a change in pace and I was more or less charmed, but not impressed. My weekend visit was over before we knew it and I returned home back to the life I was most comfortable with.
My boyfriend and I resumed our daily phone calls, but I noticed our conversations began to shift towards me moving out to Iowa. And in truth I was swayed by the idea of leaving the big city for small town life, however, my biggest hesitation was job security. I work in the medical field and finding a job with my skill-sets wasn't a huge challenge aside from the lack of urgency of callbacks from the jobs I had applied to. My boyfriend reassured me that it was just how things were in Iowa, that unlike the city, the businesses moved through a system that was much slower than what I was used to. I had my doubts but then again I didn't know much about the hiring process in the mid-west. My boyfriend then said it would probably go a lot faster if I was actually in the area (which I was skeptical about but didn't comment). I knew he just wanted me there with him and, at that time, I wanted to be with him because I had truly believed that we had talked through our past issues and were now on the same wavelength of what we wanted as a couple moving forward.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I literally packed up my life into my SUV. I didn't take any furniture with me knowing that what my boyfriend lacked we could always buy. It took me 3 days of driving to reach Iowa and I had never thought I'd be so happy to be in Iowa or all places, but I was. I was blinded by hopes and dreams of a happy life with the man I thought I was in love with. I should mention that I have been saving money for a down payment on a house for the last 5 years and have managed to save $20k. It has been a personal goal, not dream, for myself to be a homeowner, not because I want that white picket fence dream, but because I simply want a home that is truly MY home. I want a safe space that truly feels mine and have it reflect the type of person that I am, instead of apartments where I would have to return the space to the manufactured setting once I leave.
Now, the housing market in Iowa is relatively cheap compared to Washington. And when I saw the cheap listings, cheap as in less than $200k for a 3 bedroom 2 bath, move-in ready house I was ready to commit my new life in Iowa with my boyfriend. At first, my boyfriend was very supportive of my house hunting, he knew that it was personal goal of mine and had always said how he admired my ambition to become a home owner. I got in touch with a realtor agent who collaborated with me on what my boyfriend and I were looking for in a home. I probably saw about a dozen houses within my first 2 weeks since arriving to Iowa and I actually found a house that we both really liked. I was ready to put in an offer when my boyfriend suddenly told me that he didn't want to become a home owner, saying that it was too much of a commitment that he never wants to make.
It gave me pause, and though I was very disappointed in having to put aside a goal I made for myself, I half-heartedly agreed. It was then things started to unravel between us and his mood just quickly declined. I should note that my boyfriend has diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and he has a tendency to become anxious and agitated when stressed out. The days that followed I had noticed a shift in him and because he works from home, I just assumed it was because his work was stressing him out.
I tried to be a good girlfriend by staying out of his way while he was working and try to be as quiet as possible while at home. I would try to help out with small things like letting the dogs out to relieve themselves and take them on short walks. I tried to be mindful to not make a mess. Along with my boyfriend's anxiety and mental health struggles he also has OCD, and while back in Seattle I had noticed he liked to keep a clean home, out in Iowa it had become abundantly clear that the smallest mess would upset him.
His bad mood only worsened. One day, while he was folding laundry, I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to do around the house because I wanted to be helpful. He said "If you see a mess, clean it." That came off as truly strange to me.
"Do you want me to vacuum or clean the bathrooms?" I asked.
He looked at me like what I had asked was the dumbest question he had ever heard and snapped at me with: "If you see a mess, clean it. You're not 12 years old, you're not being paid an allowance to do simple chores. You're an adult, you should already know what to do."
What he said embarrassed me and made me feel so small and inferior, but it also truly angered me. Where was all this hostility suddenly coming from? I didn't want to start a fight over chores and simply helped him fold the laundry. We eventually had a talk, which turned into him going on a tangent about how he requires to keep a clean and sterile house, that "everything has its place" in the house. He then went on about not wanting the commitment of home ownership and that he has no intentions of ever returning to Seattle. He told me how all my stuff cluttering the bedroom and office is taking a toll on his mental health and that it's my job to make sure that they're all put away so he doesn't have to see them (mind you, I was still unpacking and with limited storage space the rest of my belongings are still packed away).
Then he suggested something that blindsided me. He suggested that I possibly look for my own place so that we live separately and slowly integrate into each other's lives again. It was then that I took account of all the red flags that had sprung up from before I foolishly packed up my life to be with this man that I suddenly no longer loved. It was as if a switch in me had been flipped and all those feelings of affection just left my system. I told him that what he was proposing wasn't possible because I was struggling to find employment and didn't want to waste my savings on a brand new lease, especially since I was just added onto his lease.
I tried to find a middle ground with him, especially when it came to my personal belongings. I knew that he was talking about my makeup being out on the counter. Mind you, my second day in Iowa, we had gone to Costco where I found a makeup organizer and purchased it. All my makeup fits neatly in it and isn't scattered all over the place, he just doesn't like seeing them. That still wasn't good enough for him but I had to point it out to him by saying "I live here, too. It's only fair that I should feel like this is my home."
After that, the tension between us only got worse. He would have angry outbursts over the smallest inconveniences and prioritize more on his "mental and physical health" than work on our rapidly deteriorating relationship. I'm also at fault for not trying harder to talk things out but after he suggested I find my own place I subconsciously knew our relationship was over, on top of that, I was also emotionally drained and feeling depressed.
Now moving to the present, I had finally secured a job that would be opening a clinic nearby, meaning I wouldn't have to waste gas as much and would finally be able to contribute financially to the household. When I told my boyfriend the news it was received with a rather lackluster response but I still held out hope that once I start working and be out of the house more things might mellow out. Then, over the weekend, everything fell apart.
I had woken up early because the dogs needed to go outside. I knew my boyfriend wasn't getting much sleep lately so I let him sleep in as much as possible. Once the dogs had finished relieving themselves I had the intention of going back to bed to get another hour or so of sleep but the dogs came in to disrupt that plan. My boyfriend didn't like that and got up explosively, cursing and yelling as he stomped downstairs about how he couldn't get any sleep. I go downstairs to tell him that he can go back to bed, that I forgot to feed the dogs after letting them outside and that I would take care of it. He yells at me that he would do it since he's up and then goes on a rant about how his life was disrupted ever since I arrived. Let me remind you that he wanted me there in the first place.
He blamed me for the poor sleep he's been having ever since I arrived (there is also 3 dogs sleeping in the bed with us). He blamed me for his financial woes (he took care of the bills until I found a job). He blamed me for the hit to his credit score (I took a hit as well because we were getting pre-approval for a home loan before he said he didn't want to move forward with it). Blamed me for the decline in his mental and physical health (he vapes throughout the day and his vices are scotch and ice cream). And he blamed me for his inability to focus on drawing his comic series because of his mental health decline (he's a decent artist but I can't take credit for his creative block).
While he listed off all the things I am to be blamed for and how he had made so many compromises for me I reflected back on my surprisingly short time here (3 weeks, nearing 4), I was the one who made all the compromises. I was the one who made the bigger sacrifice. I traveled half-way across the country for a man who will never make my happiness a priority. From the start of our relationship 3 years ago to now, I was the only one who had to make sacrifices just to pacify this giant man-child.
He brought up me finding my own place again and I told him that if I have to move out then I'm returning to Seattle. He didn't fight me on that but the downside is that I have to wait for my parents, who had planned to drive out this way in June from Seattle, to visit friends in Chicago. They've been made aware of the situation and will be driving out in my step-dad's pickup truck to haul back all of my belongings and we would leave together in both my step-dad;s truck and my SUV. I had emailed the hiring manager I had gone through my interview process with, letting her know that I unfortunately will be returning to Seattle due to personal circumstances.
In the meantime I have begun submitting my resume to clinics and hospitals back in Seattle and already have several interviews set up (much faster turn-around than Iowa) and hopefully soon I will have secured a job before my return home.

Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: $1,000 USD • Are you open to refurbs/used? No, please. • How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? I prioritize battery life and performance. Overall, I want it to last me through college. • How important is weight and thinness to you? I don’t mind anything. • Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. Preferably 17 inches or just bigger than 13 inches. • Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/ gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. Games and for school work? • If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? I enjoy fps so I would love to play valorant, but I just want it to be able to run games in general. • Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/ touchpad)? I would love it had a backlit keyboard and a touch-screen. • Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel
Hello! I will be a college freshman this summer and my mother would like to get me a laptop. We are low income, so her budget is quite gracious considering this. I was trying to do more research on laptops, but I am just stuck. (The budget is 1,000, but I would love to get something that matches my criteria below this to save my mom the most.)
Here are some of my wants and needs!
Wants: -Big screen (preferably 17 inches, but I’m not picky I just dont want it to be small like 13 inches) -backlit keyboard (i love working in the dark lol) -Runs games (games such as valorant or league lol) -can handle school work as well
Needs: -Long battery life (I dont want to live by a plug) -lots of storage (as i do want this to last me through college, its going to have to hold a lot, especially if i want to have games and school work) -fast (?) (dont really know how else to say it but i just want it to be able to run games at a high fps)
Dilemma: My father has a macbook air with an m2 chip, and i was doing research on and besides the heat and the fact it cant play valorant, it seems well rounded. My main concern is things that are for windows. I’ve never had a mac, but I am concerned if my school might require something only windows has, as the mass majority have windows. Also, I really want to game, but I have an understanding that not all games can run on mac, such as valorant.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Previous chapter: Skibidi Toilet Forever - a fanmade series part II : skibiditoilet (reddit.com)
Back at our temporary HQ just outside the lab, the Detective couldn’t keep his mouth shut about how our recovery of the tendril and the spearhead changes everything. He mostly repeated things he’d told the squad during the mission, but the long and short of it goes as follows: A third party is supplying weapons to all sides, and while he wrote off the Astro Toilets as a minor sub-faction before, our encounter with one in the lab changed his mind, and now he considers them the primary suspect. He contacted me, L-650, and 3812 to vouch for him, as he was about to present his theory to the Higher Ups to get their permission to launch an investigatory incursion to discover the Astro’s base and stake it out to find out if they were really the suppliers, which he was confident of.
3812 couldn’t be reached, presumed AWOL, so it was just me, the Detective, and L-650. We had to take a flight back to the main HQ over in New York, and when we entered the meeting hall, we were met with their gazes: Cameraman-1, Speakerman-1, and TV Man-1 were all seated, having awaited our arrival. We each took a seat. They looked us up and down, their scanning of us slow and deliberate, as if they were looking over every minute flaw. Maybe the Detective’s hat was askew, or my tie was stained. Finally, Cameraman-1 raised his hand, signaling that we could begin speaking. The Detective stood up.
“As you know, two pieces of technology with no direct origin were found in Alpha Hills Labs, and I believe the Astro Toilets are a prime candidate. I humbly request that you allow me to launch an investigation into locating their base of operations and uncovering more evidence.” He sat down as he concluded.
TV Man-1 nodded and locked his fingers, resting his head on the backs of them, “And why should we support an operation at this stage of the war? We are at the cusp of victory; Saharan Africa and the whole of North America as well as the Middle East and most of Europe have been liberated, and the Toilet capital has fallen. It would be pointless.”
I stood up, “I apologize about interrupt-”
“Silence!” TV Man-1 shouted, stopping me. Speakerman-1 waved his finger at him, “No no no no no no no no, we don’t do that. These folks came for a meeting, let’s have a meeting. No yelling or being a douche canoe, please.”
TV Man-1 displayed a neutral/agitated emoticon on his screen and acquiesced before looking back at me, “Continue.”
“Thank you,” I nodded at Speakerman-1 before continuing, “We experienced the threat Astro Toilets present first hand. Only Speakerman-L-650 here was able to even harm the thing, minus its eyes, but even then, it seemed only slightly bothered by pain. These things aren’t regular Toilets; you saw what the Juggernaut did to G-Toilet. We need to treat them like a separate threat.”
L-650 raised his hand, “It’s true. When the Skibidi Toilets fall, the Astro Toilets will only rejoice. Then, they will strike once we’ve thought we won. It’s what Glitch did.”
Cameraman-1 tilted his head, “Are you saying that one was an Astro Toilet? It didn’t have red eyes.”
“But the Scientist’s mech did!” The Detective interjected, “Red eyes mean nothing; get that delusion out of ye heads. What matters is the level of technological discrepancies that only cease to be as such when we assume that Glitch was an Astro.” He said before finally sitting down. I sat down as well.”
Speakerman-1 clapped his hands, “I don’t see how this could be a bad idea. I don’t know about these two, but I vote in favor of the operation.”
Cameraman-1 didn’t say add anything, rather giving a simple thumbs up. TV Man-1 furrowed his brow and crossed his arms, the vote having weighed in our favor. “You can have it your way, but I still warn you that this will be a waste of valuable resources.”
“Cameraman-38,” Cameraman-1 said, referring to the Detective, “You will be escorted to wherever you believe the Astro Toilet base is by Polycephaly. He will ensure you are unharmed. Don’t fret, we’re scaling back the liberation of Moscow, so he won’t be needed during it. Cameraman-4474 and Speakerman-L-650, you will be relocated to participate in the battle. Dismissed.”
“Dismissed.” Speakerman-1 continued.
“Dismissed.” TV Man-1 finished.
We thanked them and left, making our way back to our Cameracoptor and hopping aboard with our escorts while L-650 climbed into his own. The blades spun up, and we were soon off. We did what we came here to do, and I was already mentally preparing myself for the upcoming battle. I am a machine; I was built for fighting. I may not survive, but it won’t mean anything. I will have fulfilled my role in this war, even if I don’t get to see our victory. That was what I kept telling myself. That was until, suddenly, all of us got a looping message on our tablets. We pulled them out…
…And saw an agent with a pair of binoculars for a head.
Chapter IV coming tomorrow!