My step daughter is 7 years old. Her mother and I work quite often, I own a business that takes me away from home anywhere from 8am to 10pm and her mother works from 4 to 9 (which is about the time she gets out of school) so she spends a majority of time at her grandparents.
The problem is, she's never disciplined over there at all, her biological father has only seen her twice, once when she was born and the second time on her 1st birthday; other than that I've raised her since she was 2. I completely blame the grandmother for the childs lack of respect for people. She says blatantly racist things, cusses, throws tantrums, cries until she gets her way, treats my other children horribly, as well as her own mother and I.
My biological daughter is an absolute sweetheart and when she comes over all she wants to do is go play with her little sister (they are 1 year apart), she constantly ask if she's gonna see her but anytime my step daughter comes over she bullies my daughter and treats her like crap. Calling her names and saying she doesn't like her. I fear that my daughter will begin to mimick this behavior and honestly, she's an angel (no exaggeration, I've never heard anyone complain about her, she's well mannered, polite, loving, and respectful. A polar opposite of her step-sibling).
The maternal grandfather works just as much as I do, but the grandmother stays at home and drinks pretty heavily. Talking bad about people (even about her own daughter in front of the child). When my step daughter is here, no lie, she literally sounds like her grandmother, mimicking her behavior and mannerisms. Honestly, there's nothing I can do. I'm in no position to discipline her because she's not my child and when I leave it up to her mother she completely agrees with me but nothing is ever done because she only gets to see her daughter so much and doesn't want to be the bad guy.
I just don't know what to do anymore, of course I tell her things like (don't talk to your mother that way, you only get one), (stop cussing, that's not very lady like), (cross your legs), (put some clothes on), (don't burp/fart at the table, go excuse yourself), (cover your mouth when you cough), (don't hit your brother), (don't say that its rude), (you shouldn't point at people), (that wasn't very nice, you need to apologize). The same way I speak to my other children but she just tells me to shut up or continues to do it anyway. The things this 7 year old says just completely baffles me and now our child that we have together, our 4 year old son, is beginning to act the same way and I won't have that. I have 3 older children that are all well behaved and it's because I made sure they were raised to be respectful and empathetic. This child just doesn't get it and I really don't want my youngest or even my daughter thinking that her behavior is acceptable or tolerated. I won't condone it or give that type of behavior a safe haven.
Something has to be done but I'm lost on what to do. Everything I've read on this topic has to deal with older children in their teens, she's only 7 and I feel like she doesn't understand what she's saying or the hurtful impact it has on other people. She's literally in the other room telling my 4 year old he's going to get an "ass whooping" and I've already told her multiple times to stop talking like that.
It's like my lady just gave up on trying to correct her and when it comes to my youngest child, her entire family encourages his bad behavior because they find it amusing not understanding the repercussions it will have later in his life.
My step daughter also eats a ridiculous amount of food, she's twice the size of a child her age, her mom even has her wearing sports bras, and she constantly plays roblox and is always role playing on there talking about things no 7 year old should talk about. "Boyfriends, Girlfriends, being gay, having sex, being retarded, being colored, cussing", she literally acts like an undisciplined spoiled 16 year old girl.
Now mind you, she hangs around a lot with her older cousins who live a couple houses down (my ladies entire family lives within a 3 minute walk), they're between the ages of 13 and 16, (3 girls) and she acts just like them. I've tried explaining to her that she shouldn't be talking about those things or even thinking about them at her age, she clearly ignores me though and anytime I try to put my foot down her mother just shrugs it off like it's no big deal.
I feel like giving up, honestly, at this point her behavior is accepted by everyone and there's no way I can punish her without negative reactions from her family. She runs back and tells her grandparents everything.
Like I said, my son is beginning to do the same thing and what's worse is my lady doesn't see it. Now, my youngest son was a little slower on learning to communicate with words but now that he talks he says things like (shut up, die shit, and bitch) and her family thinks it's hilarious. It's disgusting to watch because I was in no way raised like that, I'd be eating soap. He flips people off, hits them, screams, throws tantrums. It's like what the f*** do I do at this point. When I discipline him, my lady protects his every action. Saying he doesn't understand. Anytime I say something, she rebuttals telling me what his behavior is going to be and he acts it out instantly. Say for instance, when we are alone, he's very well behaved, he doesn't act all crazy running around babbling, he listens when I talk. But the second his mom is there his personality changes and he turns into Donny from the "Wild Thornberries". Example: If we're alone I encourage him to eat his food by pretending to take something off his plate and eat it, he protects his food and begins to eat. If mom is around and I do it, she says something like "you're gonna make him scream and throw a fit, why are you irritating him?" And almost instantly he begins to do exactly what she said. He listens to his mother and waits for her response and then acts it out. He literally stares at her until she says what he's going to do then he does it. I watch it constantly and when I point it out she says "I just know how he's going to respond". Like it's a permanent behavior.
Then there's things my lady says that really irks me, like asking our child who he loves more, mommy or daddy and if he says me, my lady makes a crying sound and he goes "mommy, mommy". She's slowly programming and conditioning him to not acknowledge or respect me and to choose favorites.
I will summarize quickly my ladies relationship to our children. Her biological daughter (from a previous relationship) has spent a majority of her childhood being raised by her grandmother so our son (4) which we have together, is the first child she has raised continously (noted: she definitely didn't read the baby books) and the way she parents is so off the charts I can't even begin to explain it all. She spoils him like an only child, treats my other biological children (17, 13, & 8 years old) as alien and indifferent, she's very jealous of their presence and my strong relationship to them, she gets mad when I do things for them, buying them things they need/ want, or I put them first (emotionally and financially). For instance my oldest turns 18 soon and I'm buying him a car, she's upset that I'm doing that for him and not buying her one, she has already taken me for child support even though we live together and I pay for everything in the house already. We have an agreement she pays gas, electric, water, and trash I pay the mortgage and everything else. (Roughly 8-10k a month).
I do make 300k+ a year and she might only bring home 20k, but I've worked really hard to get us to where we are from where we've been.
Enough rambling, my concern right now is the behavior of my step daughter and what actions I need to take to get her to start behaving like a well respected and empathetic human being and prevent my youngest son from growing up thinking the way his older sister acts is normal. I'm at a loss. I can't punish her because 1.) Physical punishment is unethical and frowned upon, 2.) Timeouts aren't heeded or respected, 3.) I can't take away her devices because she just leaves and walks down to her grandmother's house, 4.) I was told it isn't my responsibility, 5.) She's not my biological child.
Anything I do say is completely ignored and she goes right back to doing the same off the wall thing. Saying blatantly disrespectful things like "black people are disgusting", "You're stupid and lazy", "you're retarded", "I don't care", "you're not my dad", "why don't you just leave, this isn't your house", "my mom doesn't even like you", "you're not the boss of me", "I'm going to tell my grandma", "I don't even like you", "you don't even care about your son", "why are you here", "my mom loves my brother more than me", "I hope you die", "That girl is ugly", "that guy is a fatass", "why do they look like that", "you're annoying / you're stupid / you're ugly / you're dumb", "nobody cares".
These things were ingrained into my mind from a young age to be inappropriate and disrespectful and I've passed this empathetic understanding onto my other children. She just doesn't seem to get it and doesn't respect me at all even though I've treated her like my own daughter for a majority of her life. She even calls me dad. The only thing I haven't done is physically punished her but my God, some days I want to put her through a wall. Especially when she disrespects her mother or me.
Now before anyone goes on about how she doesn't get attention or she's seeking it, this child is spoiled. Not only by her mother but her grandparents also. They buy her whatever she wants, she's goes to so many different events, theme parks, movies, the store. Always has to get something. Her birthdays are massive, she gets hundreds of presents and she's always accompanied by someone who gives their undivided attention. It's not a lack of attention that is the cause of her ill behavior. If anything it's her grandmother's drinking and talking disrespectfully about other people in front of her that she picks up and is reiterated.
I've explained to my lady that her mother is a horrible influence on the child's young, susceptible, and maleable mind. That her behavior is mimicked, learned, and then projected onto others all while being condoned by people with an authoritive position to inact necessary discipline.
To counteract this and on a positive note, it's summer... school is out and the child will be spending less time over there, especially on nights she's been drinking. But the true question is this, is the learned behavior reversible after being accepted for so long? and what can I do (as a step father), to direct and coerce her perception to not only become more analytical but create a thought process that is more empathetic and understanding?
I'm sure there is not a one size fits all answer but if you have the time and the patience to share your opinions, I'm all ears.
Thanks, (Concerned Step-Father)

Hi this is my first post hope I get no hate but it is what it is. So a bit of background I just finished the first year of high school and I hate my self (btw I’m a guy) I feel like shit because of the person I turned in to. In the beginning of the year I was this soft 5’5 kid who only had eyes on this one girl let’s call her Samara, she was the best person in my life but when homecoming came I ask her to the dance but I ask her word for word “h-hey i-I know that we don’t have a date to homecoming would you like to go with me” she said let me think about it, but after school her friend said I see him as a brother, yes I was sad but oh well. When the county fair was coming I heard she was going to be there so I went(before I was in high school I had long black hair and stayed in my room all the time) when I got there I had no money to get a wristband so I watch her ride rides while holding her stuff but her dad was a retired veteran so he gave me his wristband so I rode ride with her and my other friends who unintentionally became my wingman let’s call him Dee at some point her ex whitch she invited tagged along and ruined everything because she hanged out with this mf all day and ditch me and Dee but I found them and became friends with her ex. Later after the fair Samara and her ex got back together leaving me hurt later homecoming came and I tagged along with her ex because we where at the start of a good friendship but Samara got lost but since I has a local I new where she was but she don’t care why because I was a guy that third wheeled, bla bla bla a couple of months gone by it December he broke it off why well I talked to him about it he felt that she lost interest oh boy was he right because a new guy was introduced in the launch table let call Todd he came during the end of Samara and ex’s relationship but hey i didn’t care my birthday was coming up and the best way to show her what a nice guy can do take her to a Tia restaurant that was expensive but hey I saved up Christmas and birthday money so I was good and I think my mom earned the mother of the year award because she gave me a $50 gift card so I was good. So my birthday came I dressed as nice as I could (khakis and a flannel) but what made me realize she was the one Is that she just came out of softball practice and came straight there so she was in half softball uniforms a black jacket and no make up in a nice ass restaurant and me a chubby 5”6-5”7 teen wearing the nicest clothes I could find but I accidentally made a reservation for four so her dad was grilling me because I didn’t invite anybody else because it was flu season and we invited some upperclassmen from JROTC( yes we’re in ROTC deal with it) I might have to make a part 2 because one it getting late and it dragging on

My coworker is turning 20 and he invited me to his birthday dinner + beach hangout. He is gay, a smoker, and he likes fashion and modeling. Honestly, we talk a lot but I have no idea what to get him. Our other coworker told me she got him something from bath and body works. Any ideas?

Summary During a eventfull evening with the Glenwood pack. Seer is chased by their mate Beth as pay back for them leaving her on the ladder alone. When things go wrong but may have a positive outcome Notes My first story so I'm not very good at this. I wrote this on Google docs. It's a fan fic/AU See the end of the work for more notes
Seer turns into a shifter
TW: Blood Violence I imagine myself as Seer in this story. Seer stands near the front door to the den during Thanks giving when they suddenly hear. Beth: "where is my mate" Seer dashes out the door and runs into the woods with wolf Beth right behind them. While in the trees Beth catches up and jumps on Seers back pinning them to the ground. She pushes her paws into Seers body nut since she's upset she uses too much of her strength and blood begins to gush out of their wound. Horrified Beth jumps off before frantically turning back. She begins to Shreak Beth: Claire Claire. Claire stands in her living room with Knight and Genieve thinking that its best to let Seer and Beth sort of their conflict. Geneve hears Beth screaming and smells Seers blood. She uses her Valp abilities to speed into the woods with Calire and Knight following. They run right into the woods and see Seer lying on the ground with Beth kneeling next to them her tears soaking the soil. Claire kneels down and examines Seers wound while Knight and Evie try to comfort Beth as she falls I to their arms. Knight: what happened. Beth tries to explain but her sobs get in the way. Evie: don't worry Beth Claire can heal them she's a mighty blood mage. It's going to be OK. Claire: they've lost a lot of blood she says hardly keeping her voice steady. Even if I heal them it might be too late. Evie: what if we give them a blood transfusion that would work. Knight: but then they'd be a shifter too like us. Claire: it should be their choice but it's not like we can ask. We can't use my blood I'll need my strength to make sure their body accepts the new blood Knight: use mine I can take it. I'm strong enough. And they'd do it for me. Beth shakes her head Use mine I'm the reason there in this mess and they're my mate. Claire agrees and she uses her magic to transfer some of Beth's blood into Seer Beth: OH God I hope this works. She sobs. W we c c can't lose anyone else she cries harder thinking about that night and all the blood that was spilled. Evie gently picks up Seer and carries them up stairs into one of the spare rooms and places them in a soft bed. Seer lies there fast asleep with Beth right next to them staring at them thinking replaying the accident over and over again. "All this because they didn't hold a ladder. And off corse they're going to blame themselves for this" Claire: it's not your fault Beth or theirs sometimes things happen that we can't control. All of a sudden there's the sound of loud footsteps charging up the stairs and Simon barges into the room. Simon: Knight told me what happened. Claire are they going to be ok. What can I do? Claire: they should be fine we've given them a blood transfusion so their going to be a shifter now. Can you go get some food and water for Beth she's going to need it after the blood she's lost. Simon nods and walks away down the stairs. And returns with food. Beth tries to eat but it's like chewing carpet. She continues to stare at Seers wound and their face. Along with Simeon. He feels fatherly love for Seer thinking back to the time he welcomed them into their pack and how he hugged them so tight he thought he had broken Seers rib. Simeon: people always look so young when they sleep. All the stress melts away. Especially for them since their visons make them worried alot. He Says Beth nods. Theyll shift before they wake up since their body is still getting used to its new blood you'll have to calm them down and explain honey. Claire finishes healing Seers wound and yawns. "I need to go to bed ill need my strength back incase anything goes wrong when Seer wakes up in the morning." Claire hugs Beth before walking out of the room with Simeon following The next day Seers body shifts into their wolf form and they begin the stir and suddenly wake and begin to thrash around and yelp with pain. Beth quickly moves foreword and pushes Seer back down onto the bed Beth: "ssssshhhhh beautiful it's OK it's OK. I'm here I'm here.” Seer starts to calm down and make snarling sounds of confusion. While trying to take deep breaths. They start to roll over and fall out of the bed onto the floor. Beth rubs their hand and pulls Seers head onto her lap. "Beautiful it's OK. You're not dreaming you're a shifter like me now. After last night we had to give you some of my blood since you lost too much. So now you're like me. You'll always be a shifter but don't worry you'll be able to turn onto your human form. After while. I'll reach you how once you get some of your strength back." Seer begins to look around the room. Beth knows Seer well enough that she knows they're looking for the others even through they can't talk as a wolf Beth: "the Claire Simeon Knight and Evie are here but they're keeping their distance since having too many people around might be overwhelming for you. " I I'm so sorry beautiful so so sorry" she begins to tear up again and Seer whimpers and rubs their head against her trying to calm her down and tell her it's not her fault. Beth takes a deep breath. And starts to calm herself. You know Isla is going to be jealous that you shifted before her. Says Simon walking onto the room and bending down to rub Seers muzzle. Beth: Simeon you're not supposed to be in here yet. You'll overwhelm them. Simeon: oh relax they're fine right he says looking at Swer who nods weakly and tries to smile despite having sharper teeth. Beth: that's right beautiful try to rest. Now. In a couple of days we'll gather the whole pack and go for a run. It'll be amazing gliding through the woods. I still remember the first time I ran as a wolf I felt so free and powerful. Seer and Beth both climb back into the bed together and fall onto a deep sleep holding eachother in a loving embrace.
The morning after
Chapter Summary Seer wakes up the morning after Thanksgiving and has to get used to their new form and abilities
Seers eyes flutter open. There still in their wolf form and look over and see human Beth snuggled up next to them. Feeling her warmth. They feel excited to know what's it's like for Beth when she shifts to comfort them in the night when their visons make their anxiety flaire up. Seer lifts up their head and sniffs the air through their nose. And they feel completely overwhelmed by the seats that are in the room from their own smell to Beth's to the cotton sheets and blanket and traces of Claire and Simeon. Their sudden movements wake up Beth who groans sleepily still tired from her sleepless night watching Seer. She gently reaches up and strokes Seers muzzle. Beth: “I know it's overwhelming but you'll get used to it with time. Try to breathe slowly” Seer sticks our their tounge between their teeth like a puppy dog and makes a big show of panting slowly. Beth is torn between being annoyed with her mates sarcasm and being glad they're in a good enough mode to be a smartass. She giggles. As they stare at eachother with the loving gaze they always use when they share a moment. Seer always knew that they would face any challenge for Beth regardless of its their visons or being a shifter. It is always worth it. Not that Seer minds being a shifter they're over the moon about it. And they think about all the things that they'll be able to do with their pack. Their family. Claire walks into the room then. She smiles seeing Beth and Seer together. Somethings never change she thinks to herself. Claire: “Glad to see you're well rested. Through now it's the middle of the night. The rest of the packs here. Through they're outside near the bonfire. They want to see you. You up for it? Beth looks over at Seer who nods excitedly before gently jumping off the bed careful not to scratch Beth with their claws or land on Claire. They stretch their muscles and shake their fur like a wet dog. Beth: “don't worry beautiful I'll brush you later. Before I teach you to change back. Seer wags their tail at Beth before they start to slowly walk out of the room still Abita unsure since their on four legs. They start to walk through the rooms door way. It's a tight squeeze. Beth: “suck it in Beatiful.” And giggles. Seer gets through the door and turns around tencing up their muscles to show off. Before they keep walking down the hallway. On the way to the stairs they walk past a mirror. They stop and walk back to stare at their reflection. They strike a pose. Thinking “oooooo hello” and they wink at their own image. Claire: “Come on Seer before I have Simeon Knight and Evie carry you down the stairs like a disobedient puppy.” Seer walks down the stairs carefully not wants to do wolf matrix move outtakes on the way down. They reach the bottom of the stairs and put their paws on the front door like a dog needing to go outside. Claire walks up and opens the door. Knowing the wind must have blown it shut. Seer walks to the front of the den with Beth at their side and Claire not far behind. They each feel the chilly air Travel up their bodied. The pack is waiting for them excitedly around the bonfire keeping warm. Simon stands up and walks over to Seer as they approach the fire rejoicing in the warmth it provides. Simon places a plate infront of Seer. Simon: “your first meal as a wolf my child.” Seer loves the taste especially now that their senses are stronger and they wolf it down while Simon pets them like a house pet. The rest of the pack continues to stare at Seer in awe of their new form. Isla runs up to Seer and hugs them. They bend down and hug them back as she seems to sink into Seers fur. The wind picks up blowing more of Isla scent into Seers nose and again they are overwhelmed by it along with the scents of the rest of the pack and the forest. Seer shakes their head to try and clear. Isla: Ooops sorry Seer I forgot it can be overwhelming. It'll be thr same for me when I first shift. Seer yelps excited to Isla and steps forward before giving her a huge lick across her face. Like a house dog. “Ewww” says Isla as Allen and Hazel laugh along with the rest of the pack. Tristan: “You should have seen that coming kid” he says before giggling. Isla: “has Ranger stuck a dog collar on you lately Triscuit” Beth: “Yeah Triscuit Kakis told me you need to stop getting caught out in the woods” Claire: “Speaking of the woods who wants to go for a run with me Seer and Beth tonight?” Hazel and Allen refuse since they want to stay with Isla since she needs to sleep. Ro and Tristan want to stay behind since they want to start working on some overalls for Seer. Simeon: I'll go. I want to be with my child on this special occasion. Claire: alright let's go change into our overalls. Me and Simon will go first. Beth: I'll stay with you beautiful until the others get back. You shouldn't be alone right now this is still alot for you. When Claire and Simeon get back I'll go get changed” Simeon and Claire walk away. Leaving Beth and Seer alone in the forest. Beth: you're doing so well beautiful. I'm so proud of you. And despite what happened I'm glad I can share such a big part of my life with you. I'm also glad that the others are happy as well. Through they already adored you. Seer wags their tail. And thinks “It's not just me who did well its also Claire she healed me and you for being so strong through everything you been through both before and now. You're so strong love plus you're hot headed and stubborn which also helps. Claire and Simeon walk back outside and Beth strokes Seer one more time before walking towards the den to change into her overalls.
Seers first run
Chapter Summary As a right of passage of being a shifter Seer now gets to run through the woods of the pack territory with their mate
After Claire Beth and Simeon shift into their wolf forms. Beth steps forward towards Seer and rubs her muzzle against them. Seer feels the warmth of her body and hot breath against their face as well as love. Despite them still not used to being in their wolf form it feels oddly right. Like now they belong Suddenly Seer hears a soft voice in their head. Which for a normal person would feel unusual but to them they feel oddly used to it since they hear voices when they have their visons. Beth: “Beautiful can you hear me? Seer nods their head looking at Beth. Remember that she once mentioned that shifters can speak to each other telepathy when they're in their wolf forms. Beth: “You can talk to me as well like this. But only when you direct your through towards me” Seer: “What about Claire and Simeon? She they alright?” Beth: “yeah their fine. They're just keeping quiet since they don't want to overwhelm you. Start moving forward when you're ready. You don't need to rush we're going at your pace. And we'll be right here with you. Now try and concentrate on your senses what you hear and smell.” Seer raises their head and takes a deep breath of the chilly night air. They are amazed at all the things they smell. From the animals hiding away in the night along with the smells of soil and decaying plants. They perk up their ears and the wilderness comes alive with sound. Like a musical of nature. They hear the steps of animals dashing along the ground to the rustle of leaves blowing in the cold wind to the sounds of night insects chirping away. Seer is amazing by all these new experiences and is awed at how much they missed back when they were only a human with their dull senses. Beth: “Amazing isn't it? So much order and chaos all mixed together in a wonderful display of nature and beauty. Just like you” Seer feels energy and power surging through their muscles and they take off running into the wilderness with Beth right next to them and Claire and Simeon behind them. The forest feels dense but it seems to part ways allowing them through like it's molding itself into a passage just for them. Seer feels amazing as they rush through trees still hearing the beauty of their surroundings and basking in the smell and sights that dance in their mind. Seer feels a new feeling. They feel free. They've let go of all the stresses of being human. From the endless work days to the mundane chooses that always demand attention. The wind rushes over their body as they move making them feel apart of the incredible environment around them. It feels like heaven as they continue to rush into the night.
Playtime as a wolf
Chapter Summary Seer plays in the woods with their pack mates
Trigger warning: Violence (not sure if wrestling counts but it's worth mentioning) The wolves comtinue runbingbthrough the forest the moonlight shimmering through the trees. Suddenly they arrive in a wide clearing. As if nature had opened itself up so that they could stand in the open. They stare up at the star filled sky the moonlight glistening in their wide eyes as they bask in the beauty of the universe. Seer: “Amazing isn't it. They say In awe still staring up transfixed. Beth: “Yes it is. But it still has nothing on you beautiful” she says softly and warmly stating at her make as the moonlight glistens off there Grey fur. Seer turns back to Beth and they look into eachothers eyes with the same wonder and love that they did on the night that Beth confessed her love and Seer returned her passion. Claire and Simeon walk up to the two love birds in furcoats. And stretch their bodies still filler with energy from their run. Claire: you want to wrestle Beth? Since we didn't get a change too earlier at thanks giving. She says excitedly eying up her pack mate. Beth: maybe another time. I don't feel up to. Suddenly she jumps at Claire catching her off guard and they begin to roll along the dirt covered ground Beth taking a early advantage. Simeon walks up to Seer slowly and calmly. Amusement in his eyes as he watches his girls battle it out. Seer: it feels different watching now. Like I'm apart of the action that makes sense. Simeon: Yeah. It's pretty fun. Plus it sometimes gives us a change to practice healing magic. He chuckles happily. You and I can go if you feel comfortable. Through it wouldn't be a fair fight since I'm bigger than you.” Seer: Even so I could still take you they say confidently. Alright on the count of three They square up in front of each other and Seer count one, two then they take a tip from Beth and jump on Simeon and they both begin to rustle together laughing the whole time. But it ends with Simeon on top of Seer his bigger form giving him a edge. Seer: Beth Claire help our dad is too heavy for me they say in a joking pleading voice. Claire and Beth both suddenly stop and fake glare at Simeon. Simeon: “ooooo scary” they say in a fake scared voice that trembles mockingly Claire: “How about you pick on someone your own size Simeon” she says confidently drawing herself up to full height and mockingly growling along with Beth. Simeon: “I'm still bigger than you” he says matter of factly stating the obvious. Beth: “Maybe but can you take all 3 of us?” Seer gets to their feet and quickly runs up next to Beth ready for round 2 with their dad. Simeon: “you'll have to catch me first he says sticking out his tounge and dashing out of the clearing with his 3 children in hot pursuit.
After run brushing
Chapter Summary Being in the woods has lead to Seer being covered in dirt and debris so Beth decides to give Seer a nice brushing session like they did after Beth's hunting trips
Simeon dashes out of the tree line and towards the den. With Seer, Claire and Beth on his tail. He dashes towards the den and up the wooden steps and through the front door. He shifts back into his human form his overalls overnight his muscular body. and smiles smugly at the wolves as they come in. Simeon: “I won sweeties” and laughs before wiping the sweat off his forehead. Genieve: “wow looks like you lot had some fun. Maybe next time me and Knight can come too.” Claire and Beth stop easily and they also shift back. But Seer being inexperienced in their new form their overalls also shifting back and covering their body. Beths design working well. Slides along the shinny wooden floor and smacks into the wall across the room. Beth: “Beautiful you alright” Seer nods happily and shakes their head to clear it. They're tail is wagging like crazy smacking onto the side of their body and they pant with their tounge hanging out. Claire: “looks like someone needs some help calming down. Luckily their is a way we can help you with that. Isn't there Beth?” she says looking at Swer and putting their head gently. Beth: “that's right. Now it's my turn to pamper you beautiful. Now I'm going to go get my brush then you can experience the pleasure of being groomed.” She says happily before walking away up the stairs them creaking as she climbs Simeon also walks away to take a shower and change out of his overalls. As he waks past Seer he gives them a large stroke on their back. “I'll never forget this night. You won't either. It was amazing my child. I love you” he continues walking. Claire keeps staring at Seer before the sound of footsteps from the next room pulls her gaze away as Ranger steps into the room. Dressed in comfy evening wear along with their signature Ranger hat. Seer notices that when Claire sees Ranger her grin widens. And they feel even happier for her. And make a note to tell Beth and Simeon about it later. Claire: “Hey there hotshot. I'm guessing Knight and Evie told you about recent events” she says in a warm voice a little louder than normal since she feels excited about the nights run. Ranger smiles back at Ranger. “Evie said that next time we should all go together.” he says excitedly loving the idea Claire: “how would you keep up with us?” Ranger: “easy I'd borrow your bike.” They laugh. Seer continues watching and listening they feel so happy that their relationship seems to be going strong. After all Claire deserves it and so does Ranger. Beth walks down the stairs carrying her fur brush having kept her overalls on since she's probably going to be covered in wolf hair from Seers brushing. Beth sits on the floor next to her mate. And pats her lap inviting Seer to lie their head their. “Beautiful this is going to feel lovely after all I enjoy it when you do it for me” She begins sliding the brush gently along Seers fur making a warm sound as it flides along. Seers eyes flutter as their skin is messaged by Beth's warm hands and brush. Lose hair begins coming free of Seers form. And sticking to the brush. Ranger steps forward wanting to help Beth clean the brush. But they also want to study how Beth brushes Seer taking mental notes for when they will do it for Claire. Ranger also reaches up and starts to scratch Seer behind their ears. Making a scratching sound and causing Seer to whine like a puppy. Beth “see beautiful feels lovely doesn't it. Plus now you're the puppy not me she teases.” Seer pays attention to what Beth says since she is always their first priority regardless of the situation. But they decide to ignore the teasing aspect wanting to instead to let them all enjoy the moment and the warm feelings it gives them.
Seer speaks with the vampire Celiene
Chapter Summary Having some self doubt Seer decides to visit an old friend of the pack. Celiene since her age gives her alot of wisdom
On a dark cloudless night Seer runs through the woods alone as a wolf their powerful hearing the sounds of owls and night insects. When they finally reached the edge of the woods they slide to a stop. Since he feels nervous about what they are about to do his ears perk up subconsciously listening for any sounds of danger despite knowing that there wouldn't be any and even if there was the vampire court would rush to his aid should it be needed. Seer starts to think over what they are going to say for the hundredth time that night. While they look over the Manor house warm light shining through it's windows the blackout curtains being opened after sun set. Seer knew that the curtains extended towards the ground leaving no chance of sunlight getting through. Seer shakes their head to clear it. And to pull themselves back to reality. They tended to space out alot even without their visons they change into their form. And their overalls slide onto their body. Before walking towards the manors front door. They stare at the door its polished wood glistening in the moon and star light. Seer thinks about if they shoud know or just walk in. Celiene knows they're visiting having requested a invite awhile ago plus celiene knows they're there since she can hear them. Seer opens the door quietly and walks in the door doesn't make a sound since it's so well made and maintained. Seer enters the living room. The walls are painted dark colors and a fire crackles all to make the room feel cozy and warm to make the courts visitors feel ease. “Hello my dear Oracle.” a warm comforting voice says from the top of a set of stairs. There stands the vampire Queen Celiene dressed in a lose comfortable shirt and worn jeans. Still looking lovely as she calmly walks down the stairs looking like a beautiful godess. At the bottom of the stairs Celiene gives Seer a gentle hug. “you look well my dear. But where is Bethany?” Asks Celiene “She's at the Den sleeping. She offered to come but I wanted to be alone tonight. Besides she needs to rest since she's been super busy with her seamstress work and hunting with the pack. She deserves a night off” Celiene gestures to some furniture and they walk together and sit down. On a pair of leather seats near a coffee table “can I offer you a drink? Coffee? tea? Water?” Seer just shakes their head wanting to get to the reason they visiting. “Celiene do you miss being human or want to be human again?” Asks Seer leaning foreward. Celiene thinks about it. She leans back in her chair and pondered the question. “Well my dear. I don't remember my human life so I can't miss what I don't know. As for being human…. It has both upsides and downsides just like being a vampire. I have all the time in the world to read and study whatever I want plus i have my court. But I do sometimes wish I could go for a walk in the sunlight and I do miss all the people I've lost over my lifetime. Why do you ask?” Seer considers what she said. Noting that she does have good points “well you didn't choose to be turned into a vampire and their is no way back for you. It seems unfair” Celiene nods “my dear Oracle life is unfair for everyone. You need to make the most of your life and the choices you make” Seer nods and sits back again. “I didn't choose to be a shifter but if I could I would have. But….. I keep wondering if I'm still human. It feels wonderful when I'm a wolf it feels right. Like I'm free. Maybe I'm losing my old self” Seer looks down solemnly “Celiene leans foreward and puts her hands on Seers shoulder. “in wolf or human form you're still you. Just I'm still me even if I was turned. I believe that it feels better for you as a wolf because it allows you to let go” Seer looks at her confused Celiene explains “when your in your wolf form you don't have to act human and and can wrestle and play without having to worry about people judging you since you're a wolf.” Seer thinks about Cewolfs's words and smiles nodding “I imagine me being a wolf makes me feel like I belong with my pack” says Seer their eyes softening as they think about happy memories with Beth and the others “Bethany loved you before you became a shifter along with the rest of the pack” says Celiene. “they are the best thing that ever happened to me. And so are you” says Seer. “Thank you Celiene. I'm finally at peace” “Why didn't you speak to Bethany about all this?” Asks Celine giving them a curious look. “I thought about it….. But she still feels bad about hurting me. No matter how many times I tell her that it isn't her fault. I don't want to make her feel worse. She's done so much for me” “And you've done alot for her and her pack.” Says Celiene cutting in “Claire told me about the warning you gave Bethany about the poacher traps. And about the fire at the ranger station. You've brought safety and love to you're pack” Seer brushes her off but concedes she once again has a point. Seer and Celiene relax again and talk together until Seer falls asleep. Celiene thinks about calling Beth but she chooses to let her rest.
Troubling vison and a cozy bed
Chapter Summary During the night Seer has a vison while they sleep with Beth but they decide not to give her ang details about it since they don't want to worry her more
Beth and Seer stand on the dens balcony together its the very early morning Seer having been woken up by a nightmare. Through they aren't sure yet if it's a vison or if it was a regular nightmare. Beth is concerned but Seer puts on a brave face determined to not let Beth get more worried. Seer shivers in the cold while they take a deep breath hoping the chilled air of the wilderness will help them relax. “Love you can go back to sleep if you want too.” Says Seer turning to stare into Beth's beautiful eyes. But Beth shakes her head “they might be your visons but we're in this together now and forever” she says before pulling Seer closer to her. Eventually faitage gets the better of them and they walk together back inside being quiet not to wake up the others while they sneak back upstairs to the room Claire has lent them after she insisted Seer stay near her while they get used to being a shifter and Beth having refused to leave her mates side. They climb into their bed and relax on the thick matress with their warm blankets feeling cozy. “Honey will you shift for me?” Seer asks remembering back when they were ill and she let them cuddle with her wolf form to help them rest and get better. Beth nods quietly and she turns into her wolf form. Her fur is even thicker now due to the winter. Beth looks af Seer and they cant tell shes amsing if they're going to shift aswell since they know their mate well enough that they can tell what shes thinking. “I'd perfer to stay human since we don't want to break the bed” they say thinking about the time Knight and Evie did it. Secretly Seer also stays human since they don't want to risk accidently telling Beth what their vison was about since if they're both wolves they can communicate through their minds and Seer isn't used to censoring their thoughts. The love wolves snuggle up to each other and Seer puts their head against Beth's furry chest while Beth wraps her paws around Seer. They both drift off to sleep. Seer feeling warm and cozy but still troubled about what they saw.
Seer goes feral
Chapter Summary Seer starts to let their emotions go to Claire about their visons and being a Oracle
Seer wakes up in their bed still lying next to Beth, their mate still sleeps peacefully beside them. Seer quietly slips out off bed and walks out if the room. They walk down the stairs and met Claire who just came back from her early morning run. “You alright Seer? You look exhausted” Seer looks at her. “I I don't know” Claire gestures towards the couch in the dens living room and they sit down together facing each other “when you're ready” says Claire. Seer nods takes a deep breath and begins “Sometimes I hate having visons. Especially of bad things happening its only a possibility but that's the problem. I'm never sure about what to do about it. if I should say something or not. Since trying to avoid something might cause it to happen. But if I say nothing then you're not ready. I keep going in circles. Plus I'm an oracle so I could be seeing things that aren't real or could be the past or present which means that its already too late to do anything. Seer shudders and Claire keeps looking at Seer with concern not wanting to interrupt I told you about the fire at the ranger station and all that did was result in Ranger getting hurt. But if I didn't tell you it could have been worse. Seer starts to cry “Seer you're not being fair to yourself. You've done alot for us. You told us about the poacher traps that saved us from getting hurt. We're still greatful for that. “B but what about Evie. I didn't see her getting turned and now she's stuck in a fate she didn't choose and Knight aswell. Seer starts to hyperventilate. “Seer you need to calm down. You're still a new shifter this is dangerous” says Claire but Seer can't calm themselves and they start to shift. They begin to snarl at Claire like a mad beast. “Simon”Claire says quietly. While she slowly steps away from the wolf knowing that Seer isn't themselves and if they're threatening Seer might see them as a threat. Simon walks in and steps between Seer and Claire. “Seer I know you're in there” says Simon in vain. Claire “we just need to wait for them to snap out of it” says Claire. Both she and Simon continue to slowly back away as Seer continues to snarl their spit falling from their mouth onto the floor Beth wakes up and hears snarling she comes to investigate but stops dead on the stairs seeing whats happening bellow “Beth come help Seer calm down seeing you might make them snap out of it” Beth slowly walks down the stairs and looks deeply into her mates eyes and sees an animal behind them. “Beautiful? You need to calm down. Everything is going to be ok” says Beth still staring at Seers eyes. “they're terrified about their visons and the future” says Claire still weary “Beautiful remember those classes I took? They were so we could talk about your visons without freaking out. Like we did when you called me to help you sleep. We can talk about this. You need to come back to me.” Seers eyes begin to clear and they seem to snap awake. They take deep breaths and turn back into their human form. Seer realizes what happened. And begins to sob falling towards their knees “I'm sorry love. I I could have hurt you” Beth rushes foreward and Seer falls into her arms sobing like crazy while Beth tries to soothe them reassuring them it wasn't their fault and that they didn't do anything.

Hello everybody.
If you are reading this, you might be in the same shoes as I am. This post is to put out my story on how one can do nothing but the best for their significant other, but in the end, it means nothing, and they end the relationship just when it looks like the future is bright. This is my story:
So my story begins in October of 2020. I was in a pit of depression and loneliness due to the lockdowns enforced during the virus. I was about a year after a breakup from a 2-year relationship. I decided to go onto a social media app and search for people to chat with and call et cetera because Covid was not fun. One day I got a notification that I had made a new friend on this app. This girl was beautiful, with a lovely smile, long hair, and bright blue eyes. We hit it off immediately and within 3 hours of talking, I got their Snapchat. Immediately we started calling and in no time we were calling for hours on end. It was great fun as we had a good few things in common. We called for about 2 weeks straight, and one day I asked them if they would be interested in going out with me. They had no problem with it as they were single and bored due to the lockdown. We hit it off immediately with the usual honeymoon phase in the early stages of a relationship. No arguments, no fights, no nothing. Only love and respect for one another. It wasn't until mid-November that we planned to meet up. I cycled out towards their house, it was about a 30-minute cycle, and to say I was nervous as hell is no understatement. When I arrived she came out to greet me, her father followed shortly after, I did get to meet her parents over Zoom which was enjoyable to speak to them before meeting them. Her father was a prison officer, and her mother was a nurse. Her father came out and regardless of the virus, we shook hands. My ex got her bike and we decided to cycle to the forest to go on a walk. We dropped the bikes off at her grandfather's shed and walked the rest. During the walk in the forest, we held hands for the first time, my palms were bucketing sweat but she didnt mind it. By the end of the walk, we went into her grandparent's house. Meeting her grandparents was lovely, they were so kind and generous, evening offering tea (if you couldn't tell this was an Irish household) to warm up after the walk. We finished up, cycled back towards her house, and at the end of it all, we hugged and said our goodbyes. It was sweet and very enjoyable.
That was the start of it all, 2 and a half years later it was all gone.
We did everything together, going to sleep while on the call, discussing movies and documentaries, talking about makeup, basically everything you could. I spent time with her siblings be it kicking a football or playing Mario Kart on the Wii. I helped her babysit her nieces on numerous occasions, even sleeping over while watching the little ones for hours. I was invited to a small holiday with her family to a lake in a nearby county. It was all perfect. All of her family and friends kept joking asking "When is the wedding?", That was how close they all thought we were. That is genuinely how close we were and how much in love we were in also. We rarely fought, only big thing that blew up was over other people on her Snapchat, one day she told me about her past and how there was another account she hadn't opened in ages. I opened it and had seen that many lads had been sending "pictures" to that account. I dealt with it swiftly and she thanked me for it. But one day I was on her phone when I saw this account, this person was sending questionable texts to them and I questioned what they were talking about, I read more into it and the other person had joked about s*x in a manner I would deem a little inappropriate to be sent to someone in a relationship, so I asked my ex if they could not text them regarding that topic. Of course, they said it was only a mess, but there were emojis and texts I didnt see as a joke. I swiftly asked them to stop texting this person as I didnt want them discussing that stuff with this person, of course when it came to "that" part of our relationship. Of course they said "I can he is a good friend". This argument came up twice more and I had enough. I asked my ex to just block them not in a demanding or controlling manner, but to relegate any sneaky actions (nothing occurred with this person anyway).
At one stage we had planned a holiday for the summer when I had finished my final exams, but this never happened as I had a good opportunity to play sports with a high-level club. We helped each other study and prepare for exams etc. When I finished my final exams I passed on all of my folders and study notes to help them and their younger brother prepare for the same exams (I still haven't got the folders back). But when I moved off to college she was upset, as she felt that it would be difficult to see each other, but I promised I would take every opportunity to see them or call them. I did that as much as I could up until I had my end-of-year exams. It was here when shit hit the fan.
On a late Tuesday I received a video call from my ex after a training session, they seemed distant and a little cold. They cut to the chase and said that we needed to break up. I asked why? Because I wasn't making enough of an effort to see them, and they were tired of waiting for me to text/call. There wasn't much I could do seeing as Monday-Friday I was in college until 5. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I had training at 6:30. On Mondays and Wednesdays I had Gym at 6. On Fridays, I dedicated myself to finishing off lab reports or studying for exams, and on Saturdays I had games. There wasn't much else I could do. I was heartbroken of course, and they said that we could still be friends after it all. I did ask if there was still a chance but they said not at the moment as they had exams.
Not too long after this Tuesday, I heard from one of her friends that she had done something bad, I asked what exactly happened and I was informed that she had met some lad in a different town. They kissed and held hands. My I and my ex were still talking and when I asked why they did it, their reason was "to not feel shit about the relationship". They later then admitted that they sent "pictures" to this same person. I could tell you now if I got my hands on this lad... Anyways, so eventually around March they wanted to go on a no-contact break to focus on their exams. Before this happened I rang them one Saturday when I was home and broke down, telling them that I was in disarray, losing them at the time was unbearable and I loved them with all my heart and my soul. I loved them for treating me like family and so much more. After I expressed all my feelings and thoughts they were visibly upset, but they said that this break would do me good and that whatever comes around after the exams I will be ready for it. I took it on the chin and accepted it. I told them I would be waiting for them come the end of the exams. I wished them the best of luck with the exams, and I told them I loved them one last time before we cut all contact.
It was after this that I fell into a horrible depression, I was all over the place and was struggling emotionally, physically, and mentally. My ex got wind of this and immediately contacted me to talk. I told them that I couldn't do the no-contact as I felt like I was losing a loved one. I told them straight up that it feels like they have passed away and no longer are part of my life. They told me if I wanted to meet up one day. I bounced at this opportunity to see them. I cycle out towards her house just like all the times I used to. I stopped halfway and they met me shortly afterwards. I was visibly upset and couldn't hold back tears, they saw me and came up and hugged me. I didn`t want to let go because in my head it might be the last time I ever get to hold them. I broke down telling them how much of a mess I was mentally and emotionally. We spoke and they said it'll be a short while until they would be back.
We finished up and just before leaving we did our little handshake again. I looked into her eyes one last time and all our memories flashed before me. I welled up as she was walking away. She waved as she drove past. The break would suit me, so I focused on myself during the break. I found a psychiatrist to talk to, I started finding new things to distract myself, and ultimately I focused on myself during it all. Fast forward to my birthday and I'm out on a night out with a few friends, I met with one of my friends who was dating a close friend of my ex. Ex came up with the topic and asked how are they doing, he told me that they had found someone new and might be in a new relationship. My heart sank to my ankles. I fell apart that night, and with alcohol in my system I was a complete MESS. I couldnt sleep that night. Upon hearing this news I knew that everything I had been told was a lie, as my friend had told me that my ex had started seeing this new guy around the start of April (around the time I fell into the depression above). That was some way to ruin your 20th birthday. That morning (around 5 am) I sent a long paragraph to her mother who I still had on my phone. I thanked them for the last 2.5 years, for accepting me into their family, loving me as a son, and trusting me to love and protect their daughter. I had admitted that I one day wished to marry their daughter wishing I could make her my wife. I broke down writing and sending the paragraph.
That was the last time I spoke to any of her family.
Almost a year after the breakup I received a notification on Snapchat, I checked and low and behold it's my ex. With it were the two following messages:
"Hi, so I'm probably the last person you want to be getting a request from or message from and I completely understand but I felt the need to reach out and I don't even know if you would add me back or reply but I wanted to apologize properly because I literally broke your heart and its been bugging me lately because it`s been over a year and I only realized now that it wasn't the best idea but at the time it felt like the only way to do it. I put 0 thought into it but I couldn't stay with you for a number of reasons and I know this sounds one-sided and it probably is but everything happens for a reason, honestly, I nearly chickened out of this but I felt I had to say something. Sorry it took so long."
"I'm sorry the way we ended the way we did, I thought that if we did break up it would be on nicer terms and that maybe we could`ve been friends, after everything that happened I know that wasn't the best situation, I`ve been doing a lot of reflecting back on everything and as bad as it sounds I think the only way I could have ended it was the way I did and I did love you of course I did but for me, the relationship felt like a prison in some aspects I know you might not have felt it and I definitely should've talked about it more but I felt like I did and it was knocked and I'm in a new relationship and the comparison is very slim in terms of how I am obviously I don't expect a response or anything but I feel like I'm living in the past and I'm ready to put it behind me I'm not sure if you're the same but thought id say it anyways."
After all this, I am the one that sacrificed shit to be there for her. I am not jealous anymore, I couldn't care to be honest at this stage. I have a holiday to South Africa planned soon so I am going to go enjoy my well-deserved holiday abroad for 2 weeks and focus on myself until I feel like I am somewhat ready to be on the dating scene again.
At the end of all of this, I did my very best for this girl who I thought was the one for life. I was wrong. But for those reading this, if you are going through a breakup and are struggling, it is okay to feel down, but if you need to vent or let off some steam, do not be afraid to talk to someone. Talking helps in so many ways, more than one would think. I hope only the best for those going through their rough patches.
It's the 29th of May when I post this, I just turned 21, and I started dating this person when I was 17. I shared my 18th and 19th with them. I am in a better headspace now and have a little more confidence than I did last year.
Thank you to those who have read this.
Wishing you all the best.
Cheers.

Just venting cause I can’t sleep. I’ve always felt like a burden to others. My social skills are poor and social anxiety makes me pretty awkward and quiet. I find myself apologizing in my head to people because they have to deal with my boring self. When I was a kid we would sit in group desks at school and I would be the only one who never spoke while everyone else was talking. Always remember the pain of being the only one who couldn’t find a partner to do group projects with and someone would be forced to include me. Apologies to my former classmates. At my job there are times where I really want to start a conversation but my anxiety and knowing I don’t have much to share forces me not to. Nothing like spending a monotonous 10+ hour shift with me. Apologies to my coworkers. My family tried to include me in things even when I didn’t want to. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins wanted to get to know me, were so kind to me, invited me to many gatherings and even went far out of their to visit me, but in the end my closed off nature made them lose interest in me. Im grateful for the Happy Birthday text every year though. Apologies to my family. Anyway, I’m in good spirits and working on improving myself. I like posting on here cause it helps transfer my thoughts into writing and because of the community. Thanks for reading, I going to sleep now.

Hello, this will be my first ever reddit post which is testament to the fact I am desperate. This is going to be a bit long because lots of context is needed. I apologize in advance for bad grammar or confusing storyline.
I 19(f) have recently been dumped by my (ex) girlfriend around 2 months ago I continue to struggle with anger surrounding what happened and it's just so genuinely frustrating. I will start with some backstory to our relationship up to the falling out and break up. I will be using the name "Sarah" for my girlfriend.
I met Sarah my senior year of high school at my current coffee shop job, I had just got back from bootcamp and was eager to meet new people. Sarah was my age around 8 months older. She had the kinda magnetism where I knew I was going to be in deep and that something was going to happen between us. We quickly became friends and the attraction was real. I could tell she liked me and I knew I liked her but I was scared as my previous girlfriend had cheated on me and I am generally mistrustful of new people.
2-3 weeks into our friendship I invite her to a new year's party, after a couple drinks she confesses that she loves me. I was scared and told her I didn't know her well enough yet, she handled the rejection well. Later that night she flirted with my friend's brother heavily but I assumed it was because she was drunk and I didn't really take note of it. Sarah denied flirting with the brother when my friend brought it up and started calling him creepy. Another red flag yet I ignored it. From there on my friend disliked Sarah. Despite the mishap Sarah and I were still friends and our hangouts went from being with other friends to just us. There was a definite romantic and sexual undertone. I eventually confess and she accepts. Sarah and I were absolute lovebirds I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life. She softened my hardened exterior and genuinely gave me a type of joy that made me want to be by her side forever.
About 6 months into our seemingly perfect relationship I have order to about 16 weeks of training which we knew was coming. At this point I had gained 30lbs from the relationship and was quite overweight. My training was about 1,000 miles away so there was no chance of seeing eachother during this time. During training I was heavily bullied for my weight and other things that I will not get into left me traumatized. Everynight I would call Sarah. She was my joy at the end of a tough day, the reason I knew I had to persist. About 3 weeks into training she has to go to a contract job that will be very labor intensive and long hours. On her way to the jobsite she will be staying at for a month she calls me and we chat casually. During the call she mentions how she wants to have a threesome with me and she wants our third to be a male. I found this incredibly disrespectful because I am a lesbian. I try to hide the fact how deeply this hurt me but she continues to go on about how I would be so perfect if I had a penis. I couldn't hide how badly this was hurting me so I quickly said goodbye and hung-up. Sarah was mad at me for the sudden goodbye but I explained how she hurt my feelings. She begins to back pedal and explain how she didn't mean any disrespect and it was just bad wording on her part.
Sarah was now at her jobsite and our contact defnitely dwindled. I tried my best to get ahold of her but she was always busy during all times of the day. I accepeted the fact that she was working but I didn't understand why she couldn't just text me or call me at night. She started texting me things like "I don't feel like I'm in a relationship right now" and how she didn't feel loved. I tried my best to reassure her tell her my training would be done shortly. Things continued to get worse Sarah started telling me that she didn't want to be together. I assumed this was self-sabotage (she has diagnosed BP) and told her to break-up with me if it was that bad, but I would still be there for her. She did not breakup with me but all contact ceased for 5 days. I was distraught and when I finally got ahold of her she was apologetic and blamed her absence on work. I accpeted her apology but I was deeply hurt by this. Later we got into a fight because she lied about being out with friends. Sarah in my mind was a very honest person so I was deeply hurt by the fact she felt the need to lie to me. I was upset and mentioned her ghosting me and she told me I was dragging it on to make her feel guilty. I was livid but stayed with her and she eventually apologized for lying and for saying that.
5 weeks later and my training is almost complete and Sarah is back home from the contract job. Sarah and I begin to have problems again over her not feeling loved and feeling like she was single. I once again explain that I'm not trapping her and that I love her unconditionally. She eventually breaks-up with me and I once again assume this is sabotage. We stay in contact she still tells me she loves me etc. This is when "Brian" makes an appearence. Brian is her new bestfriend who works with her and Sarah says he makes her happy etc. At this point alarm bells are going off in my head but she denies liking him and says they're just friends. I write my suspicions off as insecruity and continue talking to her.
My training is almost complete and I have to go out to the feild for 1 week I won't have my phone and I tell Sarah this. I complete my week of training but something happens there which later effects my graduation. The moment I get back I had gotten a lot of texts from Sarah telling me how much she misses me and that she was self-sabotaging. I welcome her back in open arms. About 1 week before graduation I am part of an impending investigation and they need my tesitomony. I know at this point I am probably not going to graduate on time with my peers but I am in denial. Sarah makes plans to drive down to my graduation and I continue without telling her about the investigation. 48 hours before graduation I partially confess to not being able to gradute on time but I dont include the details to why. Sarah is PISSED, but rightfully so and we continue until I'm able to go home 4 weeks after my graduation. I suprise her back home and all is well.
We move in together but I have this nagging feeling she was not honest about Brian. I eventually go through her phone while she was sleeping and find her sexts with him and how she actually dated him. I am livid I confront her and she is deeply apologetic but explains how she wasn't cheating because we were broken up. I begrudingly accept this and we stay together but she deeply hurt me with all the lying. About 1 week later I go thorugh her phone and findout she was cheating on me while she was at her jobsite. Sarah had sent around 4+ guys her nudes and other sexts (I am still currently unaware if she had actual sex with anyone besides Brian but she denies it) I confront her, I wasn't even angry just sobbing and this is the first time I ever cried in front of her. She denies that she cheated and takes her phone from my hands. I beg her to let me see and she says no. Eventually she hands her phone over and I see everything she sent again. At this point we are still together but it is miserable. I am constantly freaking out at her and she is working a lot of hours. Sarah sits me down and explains I am making her feel like shit because of the guilt and that she can't help but resent me for it. I beg her not to go. We eventually agee to stay together for 1 more month but we have a big fight and I move out 1 week into the agreement.
The story is now mostly current. We have had on and off contact during the break-up but I recently blocked her. I feel like I have no more self-respect. How does someone get cheated on and then dumped by the cheater. This whole experince plus the things that have happened during training have left me broken. I hate the way I feel. I'm currently going to the gym and dieting but I don't know how to deal with all this self-loathing. I miss her a lot but I also hate her for what she did. A part of me hopes we can meet again as strangers and fall in-love again. I just feel so lonely and angry all the time. It makes me so mad how you can bare your very soul before someone and it won't matter. I want her to hurt the way she hurt me. I want her to know she is a terrible person. I want her to hold me again. This has just been so frustrating and I know it gets better but I'm just so done.
I left out a lot of details and probably rambled a bit. I don't know if anyone could say anything to make me feel better this is mostly just a rant post.
TL;DR
Ex GF cheats on me while I was in military training, we stay together anyways and she dumps me. I now am hateful.

(Vent post, sorry if it's too long, thought explaining would make it easier to get off my chest)
I've been having the same issue regarding my birthday last year, and now, since my parents stopped homeschooling me and I went into high-school, where I'll invite some close friends of mine over.
But somehow last year and this year, without fail, almost everyone is busy.
I think the main problem is that my birthday, June 2nd, falls around a rather unfortunate time for most people, some time after start of summer.
Last year when it happened, I did plan something small but exciting for me, since it was my first year spending a birthday with actual friends after being homeschooled for 4 years and not just the kids of my parent's friends.
Only one person stopped by out of the 6 invited, they only stayed for 30 or so minutes in the afternoon, and it was supposed to be a sleepovemovie night.
This year, my birthday is in a few days, and I didn't even bother trying to formally invite people, I just asked if they would be free on that day and almost all said they were going somewhere.
The two I did try to formally invite were my girlfriend, we got together earlier this year, and someone I knew would actually come and not have somewhere else to be. And still, only that friend is coming.
I understand that my girlfriend couldn't come because she was forced to go to a family gathering in Tennessee and probably won't be back for another 2 weeks.
It sucks because this whole thing is dragging me down so far that I don't think my birthday is worth celebrating anymore, it's just another day that's just a bit more stressful than the last. My mom wants me to create a list of things for my birthday that I want, but I haven't even thought about it. I don't even know what cake I want.
I'm not looking for any type of comfort. I, again, just wanted to get this off of my chest.

My husbands parents live with his oldest brother, wife and daughter. We got married last year and ever since we got married she has given a could shoulder, talked crap, created problems and fought with the parents numerous times. She also sent my husband a text saying we were no longer welcome to the house or allowed to see her daughter. Months later she acted like nothing happened and invited us over for Christmas Dinner. Since it was a holiday and they’re older we decided to go. Anyways, Mother’s Day comes around they don’t text us - which is fine we had our own plans with his mother. My bday comes around she’s on vacation but sends a card and money. His younger brothers birthday who also lives at this house had a bday last night. It’s tradition in his family to cut cake at 12. My husband decided to go without me (I did not want to go) as he did not want to upset his older brother and be there for his younger brother ( we are celebrating him tomorrow).
My problem in all this is she’s rude and disrespectful on multiple occasions but when there’s a bday or holiday she acts like we’re one big happy family and I’m over it. We also don’t go see his parents their, if we want to see them we go out to eat or have them over. . Husband thinks it’s fine .. I disagree. Do you think my husband should have gone or do you think he should have stayed home and just celebrated it tomorrow with me and his other brothers and mom and dad.
Should we also stop seeing them on holidays and acting like everything is normal when we don’t talk or text on any other occasion? Only a year married so don’t know how to handle this. Any advice would be helpful!

This might be a long one..
Me (M 31) and my sister (F 29) have been raised in an emotionally unstable household. My mother has the emotional intelligence of a toddler and is unable to cope with conflict and uneasiness. She and my father would get in the same fight over and over and over again, without ever resolving it. They could fight/shout/scream during dinner, but be all fine and pretend like nothing ever happened during dessert. If my mom was upset, my father was rarely there to console her (or he was the reason she was upset). I took it as my job (being 7-8 years old) to console my mother. I learned that her problems are my problems, and therefore there is no room for my own problems.
My sister coped with this situation in the opposite direction: no problems are ever her problem. This also fitted nicely with me, so I could make her problems my problem. I "protected" her from dealing with my mom, defending her when she did stupid things. Merging our friendgroups so I could keep an eye out.
Fast forward 20 years and those believes have been thourougly ingrained in my system. I have been through 2 years of therapy to lift the covers and see where all the indecisiveness, self-doubt, self-hatred and suppressedness came from.
I met my wife (F 30) seven years ago. She and my family got along well in the beginning, but she saw (before I did) how I suffered under the pressure of always taking the fall and protecting my mom and sister. Whenever there was a discussion or a dispute, I always took the side of my family, even when it was obvious for an outsider they where in the wrong. During the pandemic, my sister was in the secret-parties-lifestyle. Me and my wife are healthcare workers and saw people dying all over the places. This started to place a wedge between my wife and my sister.
One evening they had an argument where my sister insulted my wife (calling her egotistical for being pissed of that a lot of other people would be present in my sisters house when we would visit). One or two days later she wanted to talk about it with my sister, to settle things and continue. But my sister felt no need. Feeded by never having learned from our parents how to resolve conflict + how is our fight my problem?, she felt no need to apoligize for the insults and just continue on with life. And me? I took my sisters side, like I always had. Explained her behavior, downgrading the problem, asking my (then girlfriend) to step over her hurt feelings.
This pattern has continued over the years. My sister would show behavior that frustrated/upset/insulted my wife, feeling no need to apologize, and me protecting her. Whenever I disagreed with something my parents or sister did, my wife was the one vocalizing it. She got blaimed for a lot of stuff.. A few times I mustered the courage to confront my sister, but then she'd tell me I don't need to make a fuss about it, there is no problem, it's on me and my wife.. In hindsight it felt quite manipulaitve. It took a lot of conversations, some fights and two years of therapy for me to finally be able to see what was going on.
One and a half year ago my wife was fed up after my sister told her that she had no intention to talk to her in whatever fashion and that she only wanted tot discuss her problems with my wife with me. My wife did not want to see my sister again. Me, now able to not defend my sister, agreed. But I was not yet emotionally able to confront my sister with her behavior. It took 9 months of ignoring my sister without explanation until my sister found out she was not invited to our birthday and I had to confess I was avoiding her because she crossed a line.
My sister was furious she found out 9 months after the inciting incident. I admitted that I was to scared to tell her and was in therapy to get over this fear. I believe we both agreed to stay out of touch until I was ready to discuss this properly. But at our grandfathers funeral 2 weeks later, she was furious with me not reaching out immediately again. She pushed me away in front of my grandfathers coffin and stated that my wife was not welcome. This pissed me off a hell of a lot, and felt no need to talk to her.
But, me and my wife got pregnant, so I had to say something. After a lot of pressure from my parents, I send her a (admittedly emotionally chaotic) email in which I tried to explain some of my behavior and yeah by the way I am becoming a father. Two months ago I had two long conversations with her, explaining where my behavior comes from, my fears, my therapy, my exploring who I am and what I want (love you Iroh). She listened, but was hurt a lot. My sister had made a teeny tiny gesture to my wife to make amends with me (not her, she explicitely stated both to my wife and me), which my wife rejected, still being furious for all the pain my sister had caused. My sister stated that she would not initiate contact for the rejection of the amend hurt her very much.
And now, it is silent. My wife is due in 7 weeks. My sisters birthday is coming up which I have never ignored in 30 years. And I feel very little intention to take a step/send her a message.
Am I in the wrong for still feeling upset, hurt and therefore ignoring my sister and not initiating contact?

Ignoring/avoiding my sister

This might be a long one..
Me (M 31) and my sister (F 29) have been raised in an emotionally unstable household. My mother has the emotional intelligence of a toddler and is unable to cope with conflict and uneasiness. She and my father would get in the same fight over and over and over again, without ever resolving it. They could fight/shout/scream during dinner, but be all fine and pretend like nothing ever happened during dessert. If my mom was upset, my father was rarely there to console her (or he was the reason she was upset). I took it as my job (being 7-8 years old) to console my mother. I learned that her problems are my problems, and therefore there is no room for my own problems.
My sister coped with this situation in the opposite direction: no problems are ever her problem. This also fitted nicely with me, so I could make her problems my problem. I "protected" her from dealing with my mom, defending her when she did stupid things. Merging our friendgroups so I could keep an eye out.
Fast forward 20 years and those believes have been thourougly ingrained in my system. I have been through 2 years of therapy to lift the covers and see where all the indecisiveness, self-doubt, self-hatred and suppressedness came from.
I met my wife (F 30) seven years ago. She and my family got along well in the beginning, but she saw (before I did) how I suffered under the pressure of always taking the fall and protecting my mom and sister. Whenever there was a discussion or a dispute, I always took the side of my family, even when it was obvious for an outsider they where in the wrong. During the pandemic, my sister was in the secret-parties-lifestyle. Me and my wife are healthcare workers and saw people dying all over the places. This started to place a wedge between my wife and my sister.
One evening they had an argument where my sister insulted my wife (calling her egotistical for being pissed of that a lot of other people would be present in my sisters house when we would visit). One or two days later she wanted to talk about it with my sister, to settle things and continue. But my sister felt no need. Feeded by never having learned from our parents how to resolve conflict + how is our fight my problem?, she felt no need to apoligize for the insults and just continue on with life. And me? I took my sisters side, like I always had. Explained her behavior, downgrading the problem, asking my (then girlfriend) to step over her hurt feelings.
This pattern has continued over the years. My sister would show behavior that frustrated/upset/insulted my wife, feeling no need to apologize, and me protecting her. Whenever I disagreed with something my parents or sister did, my wife was the one vocalizing it. She got blaimed for a lot of stuff.. A few times I mustered the courage to confront my sister, but then she'd tell me I don't need to make a fuss about it, there is no problem, it's on me and my wife.. In hindsight it felt quite manipulaitve. It took a lot of conversations, some fights and two years of therapy for me to finally be able to see what was going on.
One and a half year ago my wife was fed up after my sister told her that she had no intention to talk to her in whatever fashion and that she only wanted tot discuss her problems with my wife with me. My wife did not want to see my sister again. Me, now able to not defend my sister, agreed. But I was not yet emotionally able to confront my sister with her behavior. It took 9 months of ignoring my sister without explanation until my sister found out she was not invited to our birthday and I had to confess I was avoiding her because she crossed a line.
My sister was furious she found out 9 months after the inciting incident. I admitted that I was to scared to tell her and was in therapy to get over this fear. I believe we both agreed to stay out of touch until I was ready to discuss this properly. But at our grandfathers funeral 2 weeks later, she was furious with me not reaching out immediately again. She pushed me away in front of my grandfathers coffin and stated that my wife was not welcome. This pissed me off a hell of a lot, and felt no need to talk to her.
But, me and my wife got pregnant, so I had to say something. After a lot of pressure from my parents, I send her a (admittedly emotionally chaotic) email in which I tried to explain some of my behavior and yeah by the way I am becoming a father. Two months ago I had two long conversations with her, explaining where my behavior comes from, my fears, my therapy, my exploring who I am and what I want (love you Iroh). She listened, but was hurt a lot. My sister had made a teeny tiny gesture to my wife to make amends with me (not her, she explicitely stated both to my wife and me), which my wife rejected, still being furious for all the pain my sister had caused. My sister stated that she would not initiate contact for the rejection of the amend hurt her very much.
And now, it is silent. My wife is due in 7 weeks. My sisters birthday is coming up which I have never ignored in 30 years. And I feel very little intention to take a step/send her a message.
Am I in the wrong for still feeling upset, hurt and therefore ignoring my sister and not initiating contact?

My players decided to leave Ireena with the Abbot. I humbly request ideas on what to do when they return.
Ireena was charmed and fed upon by Strahd while they were off in the Vineyard. After getting their asses handed to them at Yester Hill but somehow managing to kill Wintersplitter, they checked in on her. They found she was dazed, anemic, and had fresh bite marks. I should have said she was taken by Strahd while they left her alone, but I screwed up. And yet I somehow got something even better to work with, instead.
They took the wine to Krezk. They kept Ireena from the reflection in the pool, thinking it was Strahd's doing. The lightning bolt hitting the pool after they did so just confirmed it for them. They decided to seek aid from the Abbot, figuring the reason why Father Donovan of Barovia town told them to take her to Krezk was to get her to a safe place. They were polite to the two Mongrelfolk guards, who took them to meet the Abbot- a very kind and sympathetic man who simply wants to aid Barovia, and the poor, sad Mongrelfolk who came to him as humans, thier cursed sickness led to them asking for more and more blessings until they ended up as they were. He painted them as a hazard to themselves and others, requiring care and unsafw outside the Abbey walls.
• They did not question the Mongrelfolk guard having a freshly dirty shovel, or the disheveled graves near the Abbey.
• They did not question how the Mongrelfolk came to be.
• They did not question the Mongrelfolk in the well, which the Abbot threw food to and spoke to like a sick asylum patient when it threw the gnawed-on bones back out, asking it to please come out soon and go to its room.
• They did not question that the Abbot was over 100 years old and still looking young.
• They did not question Vasilka, the pale lady with the auburn hair that didn't speak a word, who followed his orders like a dutiful servant and served them all dinner.
• They agreed to acquire a wedding gown for "his little Vasilka" based upon his proposed reward of 3 castings of Raise Dead. Upon asking who the husband was to be, they were content with the Abbot telling them "I would prefer not to say, as the wedding is to be a small and private affair.".
• They did not question his promise of casting Raise Dead for them 3 times, especially after he brought back the Burgomaster's son. The boy was suffering the indefinite madness of finding everything serious as absolutely hysterical- including his parents weeping and thanking the Abbot for reviving him. But hearing "Those who return from beyond the veil in Barovia often come back slightly different.", was enough for them.
• The ONLY thing that they outright questioned, was him saying "Count Strahd von Zarovich" instead of "The Devil Strahd". And they disregarded that after he explained that he wished to free all of Barovia of its curse. Even Strahd, who he held no hatred for, only pity.
• They explained only part of their own backstory, that they were tricked and trapped in Barovia. But they thoroughly explained Ireena's situation- being harassed by Strahd and seeking safe haven.
The Abbot never once lied to the party. But he also never told them the truth- unless they asked. And they didn't ask much. They asked few, if any, questions. They left Ireena with him for her safety. They now are going back to Vallaki to aquire a wedding dress for the Flesh Golem that they think is a person- because the Abbot has Ireena in his clutches, knows she is valuable to Strahd and a far better option than his flesh golem, and needs the party gone for a bit so Strahd can come claim her. They even asked Ireena if she felt safe in the Abbey that hadn't explored- of course she did. She's in a holy place in a highly defensible position behind several solid walls, and she has no idea of what the Abbot is up to- yet.
The party will no doubt spend a few days in Vallaki. The next festival is about to begin, and they hate the Burgomaster there- so perhaps Lady Wachter will say hello. Bounty posters are about to go up in Vallaki, offering a reward for their kleptomaniac party member that stole a valuable item from the Vistani. The shops will refuse to sell to a thief and his known associates. So figuring out that is another thing keeping them from going back too soon. Strahd will have PLENTY of time to pick her up in a shiny black carriage and take her back to Castle Ravenloft.
So how should Strahd rub this in? Leave a note at the Abbey? Send a wedding invitation via Skywrite? Thank them in person, and disappear? I think the most sadistic one I thought of was to have the Abbot trick the party into the area filled with the dozens of hungry Mongrelfolk by saying that Ireena is waiting for them in there when they get back. He would lock the door behind them, at which point they would see a note next to a lantern, that says "Tatyana is mine. Your services are no longer required for my amusement. Try to taste good for the monsters. ~SvZ", as the dinner bell begins to ring and the Mongrelfolk come out to eat the party. What are your best ideas for this situation?

2 years ago he was really lonely and you would see he walked around with a deep sadness. I reached out to him, took him into our friend group. Ever since he was invited to every party, every birthday, every game evening. We played SO MUCH Helldivers together and I have a few clips of our laughter.
I knew he was fighting demons still, you could see it. But the moment you complimented him or showed you cared he truly lit up. He never wanted to talk about the negative feelings though, you could pry all you want but he didn't open up if you asked. Sometimes, during short moments he did say he was confused, about everything really. But he never wanted to talk deeper.
A week ago we worked at the same festival together as volenteers, and here he worked from thursday to wednesday having made more friends, hell he even called them found family. These people cared for him, took him into their arms and hugged him all night. He told me he felt so accepted and loved there.
Friday he tells me he bought a new game to play together, it's Content Warning on steam. It's a game I had bought and tried earlier but didn't find fun without friends, so I asked him to play it with me. And the next day he is gone.
I don't know why. There is no note, no message. He had bought a gift for his other good friend a week ago, her birthday is today and he will never be able to give that to her. We wanted to take up jogging together and compete later this year. I think he felt really alone in his home, and knowing how deep his hurt truly was makes me sick. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm trying to at least drink something but I don't know how to get through this yet.

Welcome to the Wednesdy 24 hour pledge!

I am pledging to not drink today and invite you to do the same.
This is that magical place where we pledge to not drink just for today. It doesn't matter if you just woke up to yet another hangover wondering how you got home last night or if you've been sober for years. Let's all gather here and not drink together today.
This is the place where we state our intent to get through this day Alcohol Free. With eight simple words, we make a commitment to stay sober just for today. With the commitment we make to not drink alcohol today we find the power to make it true and the power to encourage others to do the same.
And if we fail? We get another chance tomorrow. And limitless chances thereafter.
I Will Not Drink With You Today.

Im sick of hearing "primacy but not supremacy" its the same thing primacy is defined as "the fact of being primary, preeminent, or more important." and is even used in 1960s Catholic theology books. Affirming papal primacy doesn't go with eastern orthodox theology. Also eastern orthodox can cope with "First among equal!" or "Extra honor but no extra authority!" that's completely wrong to the early church and first among equals isnt a good term, if i were always first at something i would be more supreme then another. In regards to the early church Heres some references, Quoted in “Athanasius Quoted works” page 110 Pope Julius Letter to the eusebians at Antioch “And why is nothing said to us (The Apostolic see) concerning the Alexandrians in particular, are you ignorant that the custom has been for word to be written first to us and then for a just decision to be passed from this place” so he is saying in the matter of disputes matter should be brought to the see of Rome as to make a judgment and this is the east he is speaking to not just his patriarchal territories. Then he goes on and says “I beseech you readily bare with me what i write is for the common good, for what we have received from the Blessed apostle Peter that i signify unto you and i should have not written this as deeming that these things should be manifest unto all men had not these proceedings so disturbed us”
some might say this is peter syndrome where we get all giddy and excited when peter is mentioned and Rome is mentioned but i would like to say Pope Julius said he has received something from the Blessed apostle Peter that disputes in the east should be brought to his judgment to be settled.
Now from the writings of the early Church Historian sozomen source: Volume 2 of the nicene and post nicene fathers second series. Book 3 Chapter 10. Heres what he says about this whole affair of Pope Julius writing to the antiochians and what he ment in that segment “the bishops of Egypt having sent the declaration in writing, that these allegations were false and julius having been apprised (to give information to someone) that Athanasius was far from being in safety in egypt send for him to his own city he replied at the same time to the letter of the bishops who were convened at antioch (convened: to bring together a group of people for a meeting, or to meet for a meeting) for just then he happened to receive the epistle and accused them of having planned clandestinely(in a secretive and illicit way.) introduced innovations Contrary to the nicene dogmas and of having violated the laws of the church by neglecting to invite him to join their synod for he alleged that is a sacral Canon which declares that whatever is enacted contrary to the bishop of Rome is null."
Now from Nicea II Pope Hadrians Letter
‘Stand firm; for if you abide with perseverance in the orthodox Faith in which you have begun and so through you the sacred and venerable images are restored in those regions to their former state—just as the lord and emperor Constantine of pious memory and blessed Helena, who promulgated the orthodox Faith, raised up the holy, catholic, and apostolic church of Rome as your spiritual mother, and with the other orthodox emperors venerated it as the head of all the churches...'"
"...of all the churches... If, moreover, following the traditions of the orthodox faith, you embrace the judgment of the church of the blessed Peter prince of the apostles and, as the holy emperors your predecessors did of old, so you too venerate it with honor and love his vicar from the depths of your hearts, or rather if your rule granted by God follows their orthodox faith in accordance with our holy Roman church, the prince of the apostles, to whom was given by the Lord God the power to bind and to loose sins in heaven and on earth."https://orthodoxchurchfathers.com/fathers/npnf214/npnf2258.html
the blessed Cyril, bishop of Alexandria, says: "That we may remain members of our apostolic head, the throne of the Roman Pontiffs, of whom it is our duty to seek what we are to believe and what we are to hold, venerating him, beseeching him above others; for his it is to reprove, to correct, to appoint, to loose, and to bind in place of Him Who set up that very throne, and Who gave the fulness of His own to no other, but to him alone, to whom by divine right all bow the head, and the primates of the world are obedient as to our Lord Jesus Christ Himself.
St. Damasus, Pope of Rome (A.D. 304-384)
“Although the catholic churches diffused throughout the world are one bridal chamber of Christ, yet the holy Roman church has been preferred to all other churches, not by any synodical decrees, but has obtained the primacy by the voice of our Lord and Savior in the gospel, saying: ‘You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell will never prevail against it; and I will give to you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven…..Therefore, the first see of Peter the Apostles is that of the Roman church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing” (Decree of Damasus, Roman Synod 382. Patrologia Latina 13.374; Jalland, T.G. (1944). Church and Papacy. London: Morehouse-Gorham Co. p. 255-57)
“For in view of our office there is no freedom for us, on whom a zeal for the Christian religion is incumbent greater than on all others, to dissimulate or to be silent. We bear the burdens of all who are oppressed, or rather the blessed apostle Peter, who in all things protects and preserves us, the heirs, as we trust, of his administration, bears them in us…[proceeds to list a number of errors being promoted in Tarragona (Spain)]… it is also inappropriate henceforth for you to deviate from that path, if you do not wish to be separated from our company by synodal sentence….Enough error on this matter! All priests who do not wish to be torn from the solidity of the apostolic rock, upon which Christ built the universal Church, should now hold the aforementioned rule…[lists more errors]…let them know that they have been expelled by the authority of the apostolic see from every ecclesiastical office, which they used unworthily…[lists more errors]… there is freedom for no priest of the Lord to be ignorant of the statutes of the apostolic see and the venerable decrees of the canons…” (Pope Siricius to Bishop Himerius of Tarragona 385 AD, Epistle 1, Directa Ad Decessorem. Patrologia Latina 13.1132; Ed. Pierre Coustant, Epistolae Romanorum pontificum (Paris, 1721; reprint Farnborough, 1967), 623-638.)
St. Innocent, Pope of Rome (401-417)
The reply of Pope St. Innocent in 417 to the Africans concerning their appeal on the controversy of Pelagius/Celestius goes like this:
“In making inquiry with respect to those things that should be treated with all solicitude by bishops, and especially by a true and just and Catholic Council, by preserving, as you have done, the example of ancient tradition, and by being mindful of ecclesiastical discipline, you have truly strengthened the vigour of our Faith, no less now in consulting us than before in passing sentence. For you decided that it was proper to refer to our judgement, knowing what is due to the Apostolic See, since all we who are set in this place, desire to follow the Apostle (Peter) from whom the very episcopate and whole authority of this name is derived. Following in his steps, we know how to condemn the evil and to approve the good. So also, you have by your sacerdotal office preserved the customs of the Fathers, and have not spurned that which they decreed by a divine and not human sentence, that whatsoever is done, even though it be in distant provinces, should not be ended without being brought to the knowledge of this See, [39] that by its authority the whole just pronouncement should be strengthened, and that from it all other Churches (like waters flowing from their natal source and flowing through the different regions of the world, the pure streams of one incorrupt head), should receive what they ought to enjoin, whom they ought to wash, and whom that water, worthy of pure bodies, should avoid as defiled with uncleansable filth. I congratulate you, therefore, dearest brethren, that you have directed letters to us by our brother and fellow-bishop Julius, and that, while caring for the Churches which you rule, you also show your solicitude for the well-being of all, and that you ask for a decree that shall profit all the Churches of the world at once; [40] so that the Church being established in her rules and confirmed by this decree of just pronouncement against such errors, may be unable to fear those men, etc.” (Pope Innocent I, Epistle 29, to the Council of Carthage (In requirendis). Jan 27, 417 AD. Patrologia Latina 33.780)
Pope St. Zosimus (AD 417)
Innocent’s successor, Pope Zosimus, continued to write letters to Africa concerning the same Pelagian issue:
“Although the tradition of the Fathers has attributed such great authority to the Apostolic See that no one would dare to disagree wholly with its judgment, and it has always preserved this [judgment] by canons and rules, and current ecclesiastical discipline up to this time by its laws pays the reverence which is due to the name of Peter, from whom it has itself descended …; since therefore Peter the head is of such great authority and he has confirmed the subsequent endeavors of all our ancestors, so that the Roman Church is fortified … by human as well as by divine laws, and it does not escape you that we rule its place and also hold power of the name itself, nevertheless you know, dearest brethren, and as priests you ought to know, although we have such great authority that no one can dare to retract from our decision, yet we have done nothing which we have not voluntarily referred to your notice by letters … not because we did not know what ought to be done, or would do anything which by going against the advantage of the Church, would be displeasing.…(From the epistle (12) “Quamvis Patrum traditio” to the African bishops, March 21, 418. Patrologia Latina 20. 676; Denzinger, H., & Rahner, K. (Eds.). (1954). The sources of Catholic dogma. (R. J. Deferrari, Trans.) (p. 47). St. Louis, MO: B. Herder Book Co.)
MG 54.743. Jerome: "I keep the unity in communion with your Beatitude, that is, with Peter's chair. I know that the Church has been built upon that rock." (Epist. 15.1, to Pope Damasus, ML 22.355).
The Roman See is the "Apostolic Chair" or the "Apostolic See." Augustine: "The sovereignty of the Apostolic Chair was always in the Roman Church" (Epist. 43, ML 33.163); "Apostolic See" (Serm. 131.10, ML 38.734).
The Roman Church presides as a sovereign over all the other churches. Gregory of Nazianzus: "It presides over all" (Poems, 2.1.12, MG 37.1068); Theodoret of Cyrus: "That most holy see holds in many ways the sovereignty over the churches of the entire world, especially because it kept immune of heretical corruption, and never a dissenter sat in it, but everyone
The Roman See is the source of all rights in the Church. Ambrose: "From that See derive into all the rights of the venerable communion." (Epist. 11.4, ML 16.986).
"Rome has spoken, the case is closed" ("Roma locuta est, causa finita est"). This famous axiom derives from Augustine saying about the debate on Pelagian heresy: "Concerning this question two conciliar decisions have been sent to the Apostolic See: also rescripts came from there, hence the trial is over." (Serm. 131.10, ML 38.734).
The Roman Pontiffs themselves constantly asserted their primacy, as is shown in the following summary of their doctrine.
They apply to themselves Christ's words to Peter, Matt 16.18 ff.: "Thou art Peter..." and John 21.15-17: "Feed My lambs..." Thus Siricius, Boniface I, the "Decree of Gelasius," Hormisdas, Pelagius I, Nicholas I (Denz. 184, 234, 350, 383, 446, 640).
Sure, here is the transcription of the text from the third image:
The Roman Pontiff is Peter's moral person. Siricius: "[The Roman Pontiff is] the apostolic rock." (Denz. 184). Innocent I: "Whenever a question of faith is dealt with, all must refer only to Peter, that is, to the one who bears his name and his honor." (Denz. 218). Leo I: "The blessed Peter did not leave the government which he received... In his See [that is, the Roman] his power is alive and his authority is visible." (Serm. 32 f., ML 54.145 f.).
Peter remains in his successors. See Leo I, just quoted. Philip, apostolic legate to the Council of Ephesus: Peter "is always living in his successors." (Denz. 3056).
The Roman Pontiff is "Peter's heir" (Siricius, Denz. 181) and has "Peter's See" (Leo I, quoted above; Gelasius, quoted below).
The Roman Pontiff has "the care of all the churches." (Innocent I, Denz. 218; Leo I, Serm. 5.2 ML 54.153). He is "the head of all the churches" (Boniface I, Denz. 233; "Decree of Gelasius," Denz. 350; Pelagius I, Denz. 446, 640).
The honor of writing the last Latin manual of Scholastic theology truly belongs to Emmanuel Doronzo (1903-1976), the eminent sacramental theologian of Catholic University of America (Washington, D.C.) in the mid-to-late 20th Century. He wrote a complete, traditional Scholastic, dogmatic manual in 1966, a year after the closing of Vatican II
The Science of Sacred Theology by Doronzo Emmanuel.
https://obrascatolicas.com/livros/Teologia/Doronzo%20The%20Science%20of%20Sacred%20Theology%20for%20Teacers%20Bk%204.pdf
https://www.patheos.com/blogs/davearmstrong/2018/02/papal-participation-in-the-first-seven-ecumenical-councils.html since i was reasearching constantinople I i had came across this: "This council also was convoked by an emperor, Theodosius I. [Ibid.] The language of his decree suggests he regarded the Roman see as a yardstick of Christian orthodoxy."
Pope Vigilius came to become Pope amid much turmoil in 537, as his predecessor, St Silverius, had been accused of treason, defrocked, and exiled by Belisarius, the general under Empress Theodora. Silverius had refused to re-instate the monophysite patriarch of Constantinople, whom Pope Agapetus had deposed — even here, a recognition of the canonical authority of Rome to depose and judge the other most prominent and important Sees of Christendom was something the Popes fought bitterly to maintain against the emperors.
Where was this canonical authority established? In fact, it was as old as the Church itself. When Athanasius had been exiled by a judgment of the Alexandrian Church, Pope Julius had written on his behalf (341): “Judgment ought to have been made, not as it was, but according to the ecclesiastical canon. It behoved you all to write us so that the justice of it might be seen as emanating from all.” Again: “Are you ignorant that the custom has been to write first to us and then for a just decision to be passed from this place [Rome]?” For Pope St Julius, the judgment of Athanasius which had not sought approval from Rome was a canonical novelty: “not thus are the constitutions of Paul, not thus the traditions of the Fathers. This is another form of procedure, and a novel practice.” However, the reference of judgment to the Apostolic See was something taught by the Apostle Peter: “For what we have heard from the Apostle Peter, these things I signify to you.”
Cope.

About a week ago, I reached out to my best friend (26f)’s bf (25m) about throwing her a surprise birthday party. My idea is to throw her a surprise birthday party that is “dad rock themed” because that is the type of music she grew up listening to and is her comfort genre. Ideally, we would all dress up as rock/grunge stars or dads as a joke and play funny dad themed games, bbq, cornhole, etc. My best friend is also my roommate so I want to throw it at our house.
I reached out to my best friend’s mom, who said she thought my best friend would love the idea and let me know she will help with anything I need to make it happen.
However, when I reached out to my best friend’s bf about this, he reacted way differently than I thought. His first concern that he expressed was who all was coming because he doesn’t know how many friends she has to invite. I told him I planned to invite a mix of her family, coworkers, mutual friends, and my bf and him. In total, it wouldn’t be a lot of people, maybe 10. This wasn’t a concern for me because when she threw me a surprise party, there was less than 10 and I still had an amazing time with all of the people who loved me most. She has said many times she prefers smaller groups anyways.
I explained to him that it would just be a small kickback type situation, just bbq and music and good vibes. He responded that he didn’t think she would like it because those people wouldn’t “mesh well” and suggested I do a spa date or an escape room with her instead.
Here’s why I’m considering throwing the party anyways:

1. She has never had a party thrown for her before and has been dropping hints like telling me what kind of cake she would like. When I straight up asked her the other day “would you like a surprise party? Or would you hate that?” She told me she didn’t know because she has never had anyone do something like that for her.
2. She already did an escape room with him a while back and I wanted to do something more personal and special
3. She had originally planned to go with her bf on their annual bday camping trip, but they cancelled it due to financial reasons (aka they both spent money going to HIS sister’s graduation)
4. She is the type of person who is always taking care of everyone else and is always mentioning how it would be nice for people to do the same for her too
5. I personally don’t think it is about the people that are there, but that it is about celebrating her for her day.

I’m hesitant to throw it bc I’ve only known her for a little over a year, while he and her have been together for a few years now. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers, but I also can’t help but think his reasoning doesn’t make sense / isn’t good enough. When I asked him if there were specific people out of that group that wouldn’t get along/told him that I really wanted to do something special for her, he never responded .
For some more context, this bf is in the music industry and when I asked him about doing the music for this party, he said it would be easy , but that he didn’t know if he wanted to do it because then he wouldn’t be able to also party.
I can’t help but feel like he is being selfish/ inconsiderate and projecting because he is a more introverted person and wouldn’t want that for himself . I don’t care if he helps or not but idk if I can pull this off without him, bc they are together so often.
Sorry if this was too long, but I’m new to Reddit . Open to honest opinions about this and any advice about how I can make her day special if not this party/ how I can go about this disagreement with her bf. I care about her so much and just want to take care of her the way she takes care of me. Is there even a compromise here?
TL,DR: My best friend’s bf and I disagree on what we should do for her birthday and I’m thinking of going with me idea despite his opinion. I feel like he is wrong but don’t know what to do.

Friend 1. Let’s call her Suzy. I got 3 problems w Suzy here. 1. Ever since my wlw breakup (not with Suzy) she’s been acting strange. She thinks we’re super close and best friends. She’s been giving me gifts. Spamming the absolute hell of all my social media posts. But the main thing that’s been bothering me is the physical contact. She’s been holding my hand, dragging me to other rooms, constantly sharing her pen with me, getting a little too close to my face when we talk. She has never done this before. Don’t get me wrong I like women but not her. During my birthday party I invited a day 1 HS friend and she had known Suzy before I did. She’s not a big fan but after observing her at the party day 1 told me Suzy might have a crush on me. Connecting the dots and now I’m uncomfortable. 2. She’s started fights with other friends and now the group is kinda broken up. Not that big of a deal except she keeps misgendering one of my friends and has accused them of some crazy stuff that we all know is not true. Big no no for me and I feel like I need to speak up 3. She’s the type to not take accountability when she acts out due to her mental illness. I try to be understanding cuz Ik the struggle but that doesn’t give you a pass. Bonus 4. She keeps bringing up my ex.
Friend 2. Let’s call her Daisy. I really liked hanging w daisy and her hubby. But again after the breakup she thinks we’re close friends. I just don’t think she knows me like that. She’s helped me a lot after my breakup. My problem started during my birthday party. We shared a party and it went really well. Then she ghosted me for 3 weeks. I got worried and called her husband to ask if she’s even alive. He then explained that she’s mad at me. Reason: she didn’t like my birthday present! I was absolutely shocked because I didn’t think she was like this. For context she gifted me a lot of money and a video game. I had gotten back from a trip to MX and brought her some art, small wooden sculptures, decorative shot glasses, and some Mexican candy. I was a little broke cuz of the trip. On top of that I baked her favorite birthday cake. She said it didn’t feel special and she was expecting more. I was so offended. I went ahead and ordered more items and eventually we hung out again. I gave her the gifts and I tried talking about it but she kind of brushed it off as her being silly. Another thing is that my ex has been talking mad shhh about me, I hate the idea of them having her over and nodding their head in agreement. Last time I talked to Daisy I called to vent cuz my ex started accusing me of some serious stuff. She said “why don’t you meet up with your ex and ask them why they’re saying that stuff?” That was twisting the knife. All I remember is thinking this person is not my friend.
What should I say to them? So far I’ve just gone quiet but I want to officially block them.

 It is 12:29 AM, Eastern Standard Time, and I have just turned 17. This past year has been pretty hard for me but it has taught me a lot. This past year I’ve tried hard to get better into my faith and my relationship with God, and he has helped so much. Although life is difficult, I’m so happy to be able to live it. I hope to spend the next 365 days (and more) spreading the word of God in the best way possible and showing others care. I hope I can help others turn to Jesus like I did. And I hope I can read a LOT of the Bible, I am neglecting a proper reading time. Just wanted to say I’m so thankful to have another birthday when others haven’t been able to. I appreciate all of you who post on this sub. God bless. 

After a wonderful year with an amazing girl (24F) who I(26M) fell in love with and was building a future with, I got suddenly dumped. Just a few days before the anniversary of the day we met.
About two months ago, after I returned from a trip, she came to meet me with the intention to break up because she felt the relationship had lost the ‘spark’. We had a healthy conversation and communicated the flaws and what was missing and decided that we would work on them together and revive it. Over the next month, we did exactly that, both proclaimed that we loved each other. We had our serious discussions and planned out the next couple months with weekend trips, and her introducing me to her mom who was supposed to visit this past weekend.
May 1st, her birthday, I surprised her, had a wonderful day on the weekend with her friends and everything seemed to be going great. She came by to spend the night next day and she would reiterate her feelings for me, through words and actions and everything seemed to be going great. May 8th, before going to sleep, I told her how much I missed her, and what exactly I missed about her to reiterate my feelings to show how serious I was as well. May 9th, morning, she replied normally and said she missed me as well and wished she could cuddle with me all day every day. I jokingly said I want to hear more, in detail as to how much she misses me. That message was followed by an entire day of silence. We were supposed to meet later that day however, she made up a reason to not meet and then called me later in the night and broke the news.
She felt she did not want to be in a relationship with me anymore. She had come to realize, that she would never love me the way I love her. We met a day later to say our goodbyes as I was in a state of shock. I was blindsided. I thought I only reciprocated the feelings. She mentioned that ‘I miss you’ message from me made her realize that she could never love me the same way. She said she will always hold love for me and care for me, and cherish the memories we made over the past year. I couldn’t muster up the courage to fight for us, how could I knowing that it was probably the last time I would be seeing her? I asked her what changed, what happened, what did I do and all she responded was ‘I don’t have an answer for you. I wish there was a reason, because you do and say everything that I want you to do and hear.’ Yet she left me. I didn’t beg, all I could say was, if that’s what you feel, how can I change your feelings?
I sent a letter proclaiming my feelings to her and why I said what I said and how ‘she’ had planned all those trips and plans over the next couple weekends and the summer. The day it got delivered, I sent her a message that I wasn’t expecting a response, even though I so much wanted to, and that I will be blocking/removing her from my instagram as that’s the only social media app I use.
She didn’t reply, it broke me apart, but maybe that was for the best? So, it’s been 17 days of no contact, and I miss her every day, all day. I truly loved her and this has broken me into a million pieces. She was the first girl I was going to confess my love for, to my conservative and religious mother. It felt like someone snatched the earth from beneath me. I wake up in the middle of the night multiple times trembling or sweating dreaming about her. I have lost 8 pounds due to a loss in appetite. I have been meditating, journaling, working out, playing soccer, staying busy as all of you have said but it still feels like a gaping hole in my heart. I get anxious and shortness of breath. I cry till I can’t cry anymore. Each day is a battle with myself so I don’t reach out to her.
How do you go from best friends one day and to being a stranger the next? She made me a better man than I was yesterday and now it feels like everything I had hoped for is shattered. I know time heals all wounds, but how do I go forward knowing she will not be a part of my life the way I had and atleast till the last day, she had envisioned as well? It hurts.
I miss her so much and I know I will always love her. But I’m doing my best to stay no contact so I can hopefully heal. Why is the world so cruel?

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.

Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundaries
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancée (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we can’t just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says it’s very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancée even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I can’t let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancée did not know her. His fiancée is apparently distraught and claims we don’t see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my mom’s kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I don’t t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughters’ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I don’t want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. It’s not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my mom’s estate, they feel it’s not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothers’s watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the „each child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewellery“ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but It’s hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancée.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.

OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.
It’s worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my mother’s original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.

Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.

OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.

Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.

OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.

Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?

OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our mother’s birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. That’s how she got to know.

Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.

OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I can’t for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view it’s absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, it’s up to me to make the decision. She could’ve left them to anybody else, but she didn’t. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?

Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.

OOP: I actually don’t care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and won’t get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I don’t have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.

Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.

OOP: I don’t know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her nieces’ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girls’ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.

Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.

OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. It’s not that I feel she shouldn’t have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.

Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. She’s never met your mother but is distraught that she can’t wear her dead MIL’s jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didn’t even leave your brother’s wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancée are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again you’ll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughters’ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.

OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and it’s tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I can’t take away from my daughters to help her feel better.

Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.

OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I can’t in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.

Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?

OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.

Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled father’s full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my mother‘s wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancée after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that it’s very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my mother’s wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I would’ve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what she’s doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancé sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know they’re 18 but they’ll always be your babies!)!

OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my mother’s support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!

In response to a longer comment:

Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but it’s hard to tell what they will do. While I don’t believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.

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