Quotes about disrespectful men

OneY - Thoughtful conversation about men's issues

2010.10.24 02:57 OneY - Thoughtful conversation about men's issues

A place to thoughtfully discuss issues that affect men of the world today. Everyone is welcome but intolerance is not.
[link]


2012.12.16 19:32 poop_dawg Flaunt those locks!

A sub dedicated specifically to the appreciation of men with long hair!
[link]


2015.07.11 10:08 _watching #YAYHAMLET

News and discussion about *Hamilton* by Lin-Manuel Miranda
[link]


2024.06.10 08:31 Fearadhach [OC] Meet the New Boss (PRVerse B2 C3.1)

(stay tuned after the show for an important announcement!)
(Prev) wiki
Chapter 3 : Meet the New Boss
The next morning Julia slept in. She hadn’t intended to, had even set an alarm and woke up to it. However, she hadn’t even managed to sit up before her comms beeped and Jake’s ID popped up. She thumbed the blasted thing on, but set it to no video. Jake’s face appeared, and amused look on his face. “This is an automated message with an official order from the First Ambassador, set to send at whatever unholy hour you decided to set your alarm for: Go Back To Sleep. And, before you start complaining about me monkeying with the system, it is a standard function of the Council Messaging system to set alerts for things like ‘after morning alarms’ or ‘at first daily login.’ If you know where to find the settings.”
He flashed a large grin which suggested to her that those particular settings were the sort of thing that the Council had tried to get purged from the system, but had been built in far too deeply by the Xaltans, so they’d been left in place but hidden.
“Also, using these semi-defunct settings is not what I wanted to do, which was just hack into your alarm and set it to something reasonable for when our ship arrives. The new Ambassador promised to hand me my ears if I tried that, though… something about having read your profile and leaving whatever was left of me to you after she skinned my ears.” He rolled his eyes. “Still, I guess it would be considered rude, so fine. I’ll let you do it. There is a button at the bottom of this video, it will reset your alarm to give you two hours before we arrive. You are under orders to hit that button and go back to sleep. You’ve earned it.”
The hologram winked out. She considered ignoring it and getting up anyway, but her vision blurred and she decided following orders might just be a good idea for once. So, she hit the button and was asleep again before her hand hit the mattress.
As promised, the alarm woke her at the same time she got the warning of the new Ambassador’s arrival. She got herself ready for the occasion in record time, and stepped out of her suite into complete bedlam. People were running… running… every which way with intense looks on their faces. She walked at a sedate pace through the insanity, paid attention to the words, tone, and manner of the people around her, and tried to project a sense of calm. It didn’t take her long to decide that she wasn’t the only one to get the warning about the arrival late. In fact, based on the snippets I’m hearing, that message I got from Jake probably gave me better warning than anyone else.
She got to the offices section of the Embassy and finally snagged a soldier. Literally, snagged. She tried to speak to two of them and they simply rushed by her, so she grabbed the third by the arm.
Once the young man bothered to process who he was talking to, sending him off to find ‘Sarge,’ the highest ranking military person she’d been left with after the arrests, was easy enough. She then had to repeat the process with several secretaries, re-directing them to find her people with enough authority to start delegating when she gave orders.
She got to her office at the same time as Sarge; a middle-aged, unimaginative man who had weathered the Salish period by a strict adherence to the fabled ‘book’ all non-coms seemed to memorize, but could never quote from nor produce, and a complete lack of any sort of ambition at all.
These two qualities made him excellent at passing down orders and organizing his men, until something unexpected happened. One glance at his face confirmed Julia’s worst fears: the man had been trying to get his people ready ‘by the book,’ a process which would probably take days.
Jorgenson walked in moments later, looked at Sarge visibly dismissed him from her thoughts, and turned to her. “I tried Julia, I really did. However, no one wants to listen to the disgraced consultant. We got strict orders not to wake you, and…”
Julia waved a hand. “No time for recrimination, and – in my opinion, from the little bit you have let slip and what I can deduce – you have been through bloody well more than enough for anyone to expect you to do more than curl up in a corner and whimper. The fact that you have provided not just intelligible, but intelligent, information and options the last few days is more than anyone had a right to ask of you.” Good God, I’m starting to sound like Uncle Kaz and his speeches about how Humanity has a serious ‘over-using-people’ problem.
She shook her head to banish the thought and signal a change of track. “Also, we just don’t have the time. There is barely an hour and a half to get this staff ready to receive the new Ambassador, and a whole host of other replacements. I know some of who I can count on, and who will be best for certain tasks, but I don’t know all of it, nor do I have the time to even delegate everything that needs to be done.”
Jorgenson gave a curt nod, a small smile on her face.
Julia nodded back, and felt a pang of regret that the woman would be stepping down in a few hours. I can see why she got the job, there is still something in there. I do hope she is able to get back on her feet soon. She suppressed a sigh.
Sarge, how many of my stewards do you need to get your people polished and in full dress for an honor guard on time?
The haggard man looked at her with hard eyes. “All of them, ma’am, and at least two days. I will also need at least an hour to get myself into proper form.”
How to… a cool feeling of relief washed through her as Gunny, the man who stood just below Sarge, walked up escorted by one of her secretaries.
She turned to the newcomer, who had kept his job by being the opposite of Sarge while by being just low enough in the chain of command to – with care and creativity – keep his success attributed to Sarge and keep himself off the proverbial radar.
“Gunny, do you think you have a way to get your fellows mustered, polished, and on the field in time?”
The man stood at attention, but gave her a small half smile. “Yes Ma’am.”
“Good. Sarge, you said you believe it will take you most of the time remaining to get yourself ready. Very well. Your orders are to delegate, in no more than one sentence, to Gunny here the task of preparing the rest of the troops, then you are to go and prepare yourself.”
Sarge’s face was a study, but he clearly didn’t like his orders. She watched the man’s eyes dart back and forth, as if reading that ‘book’ of in his head and seeking a way out. He finally blinked several times and looked at her. “Ma’am, with all due…”
She cut him off. “That is an order, Sargent. You may, if you feel the order is in some way improper our out-of-line I will be happy to provide you the order in writing and you can file a grievance. Later. For now, I have given you your orders, and expect them to be followed.” I hate doing that sort of thing, but... no, no buts. I just wish I could duck out for an extra shower.
The man’s face took on a rebellious cast for a moment, then slid back into that mask that military types seemed to be taught. He snapped to attention, managed to give off a very aggressive-seeming salute, turned, gestured toward his subordinate, and walked away. As they walked she could hear Sarge giving Gunny the exact orders she’d given, as if the man hadn’t been standing right there.
She shook her head with a small smile and looked back over at Jorgenson, who shared her rueful expression as the woman spoke. “One of these days I’m going to find that mythical book that his type seems to have memorized and beat one of them with it.”
She chuckled. “Never work. They are required to eat it once they have it memorized.”
They both laughed, but the mirth felt forced. The moment broke, and they turned to the task at hand.
Now, back to over-using someone who should be convalescing. “So, here is my basic plan for the non-military staff: tell me which parts you can take charge of, what you can delegate, and whether I have the right people chosen for the rest of it…”
A few minutes later Jorgenson left at just shy of a jog. Project calm, and those taking orders will feel calm. Now, to that task list.
The next thing Julia knew she stood on the tarmac of the space port watching the new Ambassador’s shuttle touch down. She tried to make a mental account of what she had done between handing Sarge his orders and standing here, but had trouble pinning the memories down. A few blinks, the only movement she felt she could allow herself at this point, banished that line of thought, and she looked out across the assembled staff.
She’d managed to get the majority of the Embassy staff turned out for the occasion: After all it wasn’t every day that not just two New Ambassadors, but replacements for nearly half of the Embassy staff, arrived at once.
The ramp extended from the shuttle and two MPs, with perfect timing and placement, kicked the red carpet so that it rolled across the tarmac and kissed the edge of the ramp at the exact moment the metal hit the ground.
She stood a little straighter and lifted her chin, then turned to Sarge and nodded.
The man slapped the butt of his rifle against the ground, started his march, and called his fellow soldiers to order just as the New Ambassador appeared at the top of the ramp. The soldiers advanced as the Ambassador did, keeping perfect time with her and their steps in such exact unison that it seemed only one very loud foot hit the pavement with each step.
Her part of the duty completed, she turned her attention to a study of the Ambassador and her micro-tells. The woman stood tall, taller than most Human men in fact, and carried herself well. I have known too many women with her height who stoop or otherwise try to hide their tallness: Some to appease the men around them, others to try and avoid the jeers of their fellow women… or both. This woman doesn’t however. Julia allowed a bit of the smile she felt come out. Her eyes catch every detail as they dart around, her appearance is impeccable, but she refuses more than the most bare hints of make-up. Not even lipstick.
I still can’t figure out what she makes of our little display, of everyone being turned out at their best. There is no haughtiness there, no hint that she seems to think it is her due, but… there it is, she is pleased, but why? The woman’s eyes darted to the Sargent, barely even noticed the MPs marching to greet her, and did another sweep of the staff. A small tightness went out of the lines around the woman’s mouth, and her eyes seemed to relax a touch. Ah, there it is. The lack of notice was, indeed, a test… and it seems like we passed. Or, at the least, didn’t fail.
wiki
-----------------------------------------------------------
As promised, Announcement!
Book 1 electronic version is available for pre-order!
Since we have a number of international readers here, instead of posting a link I will say:
Go to Amazon as you normally do, and search 'Fearadach Proportional Response' This should get you to the pre-order for the electronic (Kindle) version. It is due to release Tuesday, June 18th. Currently the physical version is due to release a few days after that, due to some mis-clicks in trying to set everything up with Amazon. With luck, I will have updates about that next week.
If you wonder about the vast difference in price between electronic and print versions: That is because print-on-demand is expensive, particularly when the book is within 2 pages of the max size they will allow. (finagling the settings to get it within that page limit was part of what took so long in getting it released)
Sadly, I can not offer the book on Kindle Unlimited, because it has been posted here.... so I tried to make it as cheap as I could. I do, however, have another book on Kindle Unlimited, if you haven't read it yet... that one is a more 'normal' sized Science-Fiction book.
Thank you for reading, and I hope to have more updates next week!
submitted by Fearadhach to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 08:27 BeautifulSearch4040 My husband is a wolf dressed in sheep clothes

I 32F married my husband 45M, 3 years ago and we’ve been together for 5 years. I want to start by saying that, in theory, he is a good men and a good person. He does a lot for his church and always helps people. However, I am so sick and tired of him being so sarcastic and condescending to me. He constantly makes the most condescending comments, for example (and this is just a small example of the extend of it), I came back home the other day from taking my dog out and he was supposed to be gone home already so I said excited “ hello!! you still here!!” And he replied with a condescending tone “You can see my car outside. I’ll let you figure it out”. It’s absolutely exhausting being treated so poorly when all I do is literally support him with everything. He also ALWAYS wants to be antagonistic to me even for the most trivial and unimportant things. Like I say there’s mosquitoes outside, he HAS to say something to emphasize there is not mosquitoes outside. He also has call me aweful things during arguments like”neardental” and “d***y immigrant , I can’t believe they let someone entered my country like you” He makes fun of my friends as well and belittle us saying things like “you are going out with your little friends today. You guys always hold hands and have no balls to do anything exciting”. He also never cares about my day, what I did. I try to make conversation and start talking about something that interests me and his replies is always some random stuff his thinking like “there’s no more eggs” but doesn’t engage in the conversation, at all. He is only interested to talk about his business and his religion, which is ironic because he’s such a sneaky person and trickster, yet he says his such a good child of God. His family is also SO snobby. All they talk about (and I’m taking 100% of the time) is how much money their acquaintances make, how many connections they have and among other ridiculous things of that sort, everyone else outside that circle is and I quote “goofy”. I don’t recall him being like this when we started dating, but like I say he’s sneaky and probably faked his true self as none of this things he would dare to do or say in front of others. He is very concerned about what other people think of him, to the point that he would for sure throw me under the bus just to make himself look better. Now, I’m so disappointed that I don’t even want to sleep next to him. The worst part of all is that I feel trapped because I don’t have an independent job right now, I work for his business. I feel he controls everything I do and every small little thing I do, like why I left the car in front of the house and not on the back. He supports me financially and I think getting used to that comfort has been my biggest mistake. I feel that I depend on him and that kills me. I’m scared I won’t be able to afford a good life for me and my dog but I don’t see any other solution that to start fresh !! Feels so good to vent !!!!
submitted by BeautifulSearch4040 to Vent [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 07:38 GoAheadMMDay Jewish religion originated in Egypt... and was restructured in Babylon

Jewish religion originated in Egypt... and was restructured in Babylon
Before we begin, let me say I love the Jewish people and Christians, and I consider all of them my brothers and sisters, as I do all people from all religions and walks of life. We are all God's beloved children.
I thoroughly cherish the ancient wisdom contained in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, and in the sacred books of other faiths as well.
Yet over the course of several decades, I discovered numerous inaccurate teachings which I would like to review. It may not be what most people consider a "conspiracy". Nevertheless, these misconceptions must be revealed for the truth to be known.
Egyptian origins
Judaism - the Jewish religion - originated in ancient Egypt. A mixed group of people from multiple nationalities, including Egyptian, were expelled from Egypt, taking Egyptian beliefs and practices with them, including Egyptian temple designs.
This theory has been around for nearly a hundred years. Sigmund Freud, the famous Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis who lived from 1856 to 1939, wrote about Judaism's link to ancient Egypt in 1939, the final year of his life.
From Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akhenaten :
"One of the first to mention this [theory] was Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, in his book Moses and Monotheism.[235] Basing his arguments on his belief that the Exodus story was historical, Freud argued that Moses had been an Atenist priest who was forced to leave Egypt with his followers after Akhenaten's death. Freud argued that Akhenaten was striving to promote monotheism, something that the biblical Moses was able to achieve.[235] Following the publication of his book, the concept entered popular consciousness and serious research.[240][241]"
In this post, I will provide my own arguments supporting Freud's proposition.
I started thinking about the link between ancient Israel and ancient Egypt many years ago during my Bible studies. I was also fascinated with the histories of ancient Egypt, Sumer, Babylon, and others.
Over the years, I began noticing some very significant overlapping beliefs that cannot be dismissed. Some of these points are already known and hotly debated; others are my own observations.
I will be brief, however. This topic is absolutely huge in scope - covering history, archeology and religion. If I were to cover the topic to its fullest extent, it would be a book. I will spare you that torture and simply give you the abridged version.
My purpose? I put this out there for debate and further research.
The exodus out of Egypt
In the late 1300's BC, a large group migrated out of Egypt in what is known as "the exodus".
The exodus out of Egypt
Who were the people who left Egypt in the exodus?
The Bible claims they were almost all Israelites who were living in misery in Egypt. But there is good reason to believe the majority were actually Egyptians, as I explain later.
Black box - where the exodus settled
The group who left Egypt eventually settled between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean Sea, forming the nation of Israel.
Three major similarities
Several similarities exist between ancient Israel's religion and ancient Egypt's religion. These similarities are so striking, I propose the Jewish religion actually originated in Egypt, and was brought out of Egypt in the exodus.
• 1) Let's start with the most glaring similarity... the temples.
Ancient Egyptian temple
Key features of the ancient Egyptian temple:
a) outer courtyard, b) two large pillars at front entrance, c) a grand hall, d) an inner shrine with statue.
Left - Moses' tabernacle / Right - Solomon's temple
Key features of Moses' tabernacle and Solomon's temple:
a) outer courtyard, b) two large pillars at front entrance, c) first hall called "the Holy Place", d) an inner sanctuary called "the Most Holy Place" where the Ark of the Covenant was housed.
The similarities between ancient Egypt's temples and Judaism's designs are too similar to dismiss. I conclude those who left Egypt in the exodus brought with them Egypt's temple designs.
• 2) Animal sacrifice is another similarity I propose was brought out of Egypt in the exodus.
"...some of the earliest archeological evidence suggesting animal sacrifice comes from Egypt." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sacrifice
• 3) Lastly, in agreement with Sigmund Freud noted above, I propose Jewish monotheism (worship of one god) was also brought out of Egypt by the migrants who left in the exodus.
Monotheism from Egypt? Wasn't Egypt polytheistic, worshipping multiple deities?
Not always. Egypt had briefly experimented with the worship of one God who was without form. And this period of monotheism in Egypt lines-up perfectly with the time of the exodus.
Egypt's brief experiment with monotheism
There was a brief period in Egypt's history when monotheism flourished. This was during the reign of Akhenaten, around the middle 1300's BC.
Prior to this, Egypt had always practiced polytheism. But Akhenaten reformed Egyptian religion, focusing on one god instead - "Aten" - who was elevated to supreme god, and "the sole god of the Egyptian state religion". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aten
There is much debate over exactly how monotheism was practiced during that time. As Wikipedia explains - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akhenaten :
"The views of Egyptologists differ as to whether the religious policy was absolutely monotheistic, or whether it was monolatristic, syncretistic, or henotheistic.[14][15] This culture shift away from traditional religion was reversed after his death."
For this post, it does not matter how narrow or how broad Akhenaten's monotheism really was. What matters in this discussion is that Akhenaten's reign was an interruption in Egypt's religious system. Akhenaten reformed Egyptian religion, which did not sit well with the traditional priestly class.
After Akhenaten died, Egypt returned to its previous religious system. Akhenaten was vilified, his images chiselled and defaced. Wikipedia adds:
"They discredited Akhenaten and his immediate successors and referred to Akhenaten as "the enemy" or "that criminal" in archival records."
This is why today he is described as "the heretic king", referencing how he was considered after his death.
The exodus was an expulsion
I propose Moses was a high ranking member of Akhenaten's court, perhaps even a prince as the Old Testament describes him. Moses likely took over the leadership of the population of monotheists after Akhenaten died.
As Wikipedia notes (already quoted above) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akhenaten :
"Freud argued that Moses had been an Atenist priest [a priest of the god "Aten"] who was forced to leave Egypt with his followers after Akhenaten's death."
I conclude these were the migrants who left Egypt in the exodus. They were Egyptians who practiced monotheism, lead by their high priest, Moses - who was also an Egyptian, and priest of the god "Aten".
The monotheists had become unwelcome in the land of Egypt which had returned to polytheism. Akhenaten's son - the famous King Tut - even changed his name to disassociate himself from his father and the monotheism he had introduced. King Tut's original name was Tutankhaten, which he changed to Tutankhamun after Akhenaten's death.
As Wikipedia explains - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tutankhamun :
"The cult of the god Amun at Thebes was restored to prominence and the royal couple changed their names to "Tutankhamun" and "Ankhesenamun", removing the -aten suffix."
The suffix at the end of their names indicated whom they worshiped, or the god they were associated with. Akhenaten's suffix was "aten", taken from the god "Aten" whom he associated himself with. Tutankhamun's suffix was "amun", taken from the god "Amun" whom he associated himself with.
King Tut thus changed his name to show he was not connected to Akhenaten or the monotheists who worshipped Aten. Egypt's brief experiment with monotheism was over.
Clearly there was a lot of hatred for that brief experimentation with monotheism. What would the atmosphere have been like for the followers of that monotheistic system after Akhenaten died? I imagine there would have been widespread persecution, or at the very least, discrimination.
I propose this lead to the expulsion of a large mass of people out of Egypt in the exodus. They were the monotheists of Egypt - composed mostly of Egyptians, but likely included foreigners living in Egypt who also practiced the monotheism introduced by Akhenaten.
Moses led this group of fellow monotheists out of an angry Egypt that clearly resented the upheaval Akhenaten had brought to Egyptian life. It must have been a forced expulsion, for they were driven into the desert where they were left to roam and fend for themselves. They would not have chosen to go there on their own.
The dates match
And the dates match. Akhenaten reigned from about 1352 to 1335 BC. Moses lived from about 1391 to 1271 BC. (The Bible writers claim he was 120 years old when he died. Could be true, I suppose.)
According to the Bible's account, Moses was 80 years of age at the time of the exodus, dating it to about 1311 BC. That somewhat fits, putting the exodus some 24 years after Akhenaten's death.
Personally, though, I do not see that it would have taken 24 years to expel a group of monotheists who were no longer welcome, whose founder (Akhenaten) was vilified, defamed, and so vehemently hated. I propose the monotheists were expelled right away, perhaps a year or two after Akhenaten's death.
King Tut - Akhenaten's son noted above - was only 6 years of age when Akhenaten died in 1335 BC, much too young to rule as Pharaoh on his own. It wasn't until 3 years later in 1332 BC when Tut finally ascended to the throne at the age of 9. During this brief interval of 3 years, Egypt's rulership was in contention. There was likely a power struggle. I propose it was during this 3-year period of upheaval when the monotheists were expelled.
Another link placing the exodus at the end of Akhenaten's life is a regional plague which struck Egypt and a large part of the Middle East during the last 5 years of Akhenaten's reign.
As Wikipedia explains - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akhenaten :
"Following year twelve [of Akhenaten's 16-year reign], Donald B. Redford and other Egyptologists proposed that Egypt was struck by an epidemic, most likely a plague.[127] Contemporary evidence suggests that a plague ravaged through the Middle East around this time,[128] and ambassadors and delegations arriving to Akhenaten's year twelve reception might have brought the disease to Egypt.[129] Alternatively, letters from the Hattians might suggest that the epidemic originated in Egypt and was carried throughout the Middle East by Egyptian prisoners of war.[130] Regardless of its origin, the epidemic might account for several deaths in the royal family that occurred in the last five years of Akhenaten's reign, including those of his daughters Meketaten, Neferneferure, and Setepenre.[131][132]"
Sound familiar? The Bible's story of the exodus includes a plague which affected all of Egypt, killing even one of Pharaoh's children.
When Moses led the monotheists out of Egypt, he took with him many elements of the monotheistic system that Akhenaten had introduced. I propose this is why Moses' tabernacle looked so similar to Egyptian temples, with even more similarities showing up in Solomon's temple.
Joseph was Imhotep
Yet the Old Testament borrows more from Egypt than just its religious concepts. I propose it also borrows a very famous person... Imhotep.
Multiple similarities exist between Imhotep (a high ranking administrator in ancient Egypt) and the Biblical Joseph (who lived in Egypt before Moses). I propose, as many others do, that the Joseph of the Old Testament was based on Imhotep of ancient Egypt for 3 reasons:
• 1) Let's start with their names...
In "Imhotep", the 1st vowel is "i", the 2nd vowel is "o", the 3rd vowel is "e", followed by a "p".
The name Joseph in Tiberian Hebrew is "Yoseph", and in Aramaic is "Yosep". In both cases, the 1st vowel is "y" (pronounced as short-"i"), the 2nd vowel is "o", the 3rd vowel is "e", followed by a "p" - just as in "Imhotep".
Even the "t" in Imhotep and the "s" in Yosep use similar movements of the tongue.
• 2) Next, their status...
Imhotep occupied a very lofty position in Egyptian court. He was "chancellor to the Pharaoh Djoser, possible architect of Djoser's step pyramid, and high priest of the sun god Ra at Heliopolis". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imhotep
Joseph, for his part, is described in the Bible as having been elevated to the 3rd highest position in Egypt.
• 3) Finally, their great works...
"Imhotep was one of the chief officials of the Pharaoh Djoser. Concurring with much later legends, Egyptologists credit him with the design and construction of the Pyramid of Djoser, a step pyramid at Saqqara built during the 3rd Dynasty. [17] He may also have been responsible for the first known use of stone columns to support a building.[18]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imhotep
Similarly, the Bible describes Joseph as having supervised the construction of numerous large stone granaries in which to store "all the grain of Egypt".
Though granaries and pyramids differ in design, we have to acknowledge the similarity... both men were in charge of building massive stone structures.
Also, to the Israelites living after the exodus, when the Old Testament was written, the pyramids of Egypt likely looked to them like the remains of giant granaries of long ago. Thus, where the ancient Egyptians credited Imhotep with constructing pyramids, the Israelites credited Joseph with constructing the same structures - which they thought were old ruined granaries.
Yet there is one gaping hole in this theory that Joseph was Imhotep... they lived in different time periods. Imhotep lived in the 2600's BC (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imhotep), while Joseph lived in the 1800's BC.
Indeed, they lived centuries apart. But let's keep in mind that the writers of the Old Testament did not have such detailed information as archeologists have today. The writers may have placed Joseph in the wrong century, but they were right to place him a few hundred years before the exodus... just as Imhotep also lived centuries before the exodus.
The Old Testament writers were also correct in the phonetics of the name, the occupation, the works, and the elevated position of importance. I propose the Old Testament writers took Imhotep and claimed him as their own as Joseph.
Claiming Egyptians and others as their own
We can see why the writers of the Old Testament wanted to claim Imhotep as their own, as an Israelite.
Between 1550 and 1077 BC (which overlapped the time of the exodus), Imhotep was worshipped as a "demigod" - one of only a handful of non-royals ever to be deified. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imhotep) He was the equivalent of today's superstar. To claim Imhotep as a fellow Israelite gave them a tremendous boost of pride.
They also claimed Moses as their own. As the Old Testament account goes, Moses was born an Israelite, was sent adrift on a river to escape slaughter, was rescued by an Egyptian princess, and was raised as a prince in Egypt's court.
They also claimed Abraham as one of their forefathers, a Mesopotamian who lived in the city of Ur by the lower Euphrates river near the Persian Gulf.
Noah, too, was claimed as an even more distant forefather, when in fact the story of Noah, the ark, and the flood were copied from the ancient Sumerian text "The Epic of Gilgamesh". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_of_Gilgamesh
In The Epic of Gilgamesh, the Sumerian king Uta-napishtim survived a flood by building a large vessel which he filled with animals. As Wikipedia explains - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utnapishtim :
"The story of Uta-napishtim has drawn scholarly comparisons due to the similarities between it and the storylines about Noah in the Bible."
But why did the Israelites claim all of these people as their own?
• The ancient-Sumerian Uta-napishtim (whom they renamed Noah),
• the late-Sumerian Abram of Ur (whom they renamed Abraham),
• the ancient-Egyptian Imhotep (whom they renamed Joseph),
• and the later-Egyptian Moses?
I propose it was to give the Israelites a sense of national identity. They were about to form a new nation.
Forming a new nation after Babylon
In 597 BC, Babylon besieged Jerusalem, taking several thousand Israelites captive to Babylonia. More Israelite captives were taken during the following 10 years. In 587 BC, Jerusalem and its temple were ultimately destroyed. Israel was no longer a nation; its people were captives in Babylon. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babylonian_captivity
Nearly 50 years later, in 539 BC, Persian king Cyrus the Great and his armies conquered Babylon. As per his tradition, he benevolently released captives.
"Cyrus was particularly renowned among contemporary scholars because of his habitual policy of respecting peoples' customs and religions in the lands that he conquered." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrus_the_Great
The Israelites were about to be freed. We can picture Cyrus' officials gathering the Israelite priests and leaders together, telling them to prepare themselves for their return back to their homeland west of the Jordan River.
After nearly 60 years in captivity, the Israelites needed to organize themselves into a new nation. They needed laws, a history, and a national identity. I propose this is when the first section of the Old Testament - the Torah - was written... in 539 BC in Babylon, just before returning to their ancestral land west of the Jordan River.
The Torah comprises the first 5 books of the Old Testament - Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy.
What makes this significant for the Israelites living in Babylon is that these 5 books cover everything they need in forming a new nation - a national history, a code of laws, a structured religion, and a pact with God for his protection - as explained in Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torah :
• Of the book of Genesis:
"At God's command ... Abraham journeys from his home [in Mesopotamia] into the ... land of Canaan. ... The narrative is punctuated by a series of covenants with God..."
This book was important, as it paralleled the journey the Israelites were about to make, leaving Babylon (which was Mesopotamia) on their way to the land of Canaan - just like Abraham had done himself some 1,200 years before. Yet they ought not be fearful, for they were the beneficiaries of multiple covenants with God.
• Of the book of Exodus:
"...modern scholarship sees the book as initially a product of the Babylonian exile, 6th century BC..."
In other words, it was initially compiled in Babylon during Israelite captivity.
"Carol Meyers, in her commentary on Exodus, suggests that it is arguably the most important book in the Bible, as it presents the defining features of Israel's identity: memories of a past marked by hardship and escape, a binding covenant with God, ... and the establishment of the life of the community and the guidelines for sustaining it.[31]"
In other words, the book of Exodus gave the Israelites valuable guidelines to forming a new nation.
• Of the book of Leviticus:
"...rules of clean and unclean ... the laws of slaughter and animals permissible to eat ... various moral and ritual laws ... a detailed list of rewards for following God's commandments and a detailed list of punishments for not following them."
In other words, Leviticus instructs the Israelites on matters of worship, cleanliness, and diet. Again, important information for a people about to form a new nation.
• Of the book of Numbers:
"Numbers is the culmination of the story of Israel's exodus from oppression in Egypt and their journey to take possession of the land God promised their fathers."
This parallels their situation at that time, in 539 BC, as they too were about to leave oppression in Babylon on their journey back to take possession of the same land.
• Of the book of Deuteronomy:
"One of its most significant verses is Deuteronomy 6:4 ... which has become the definitive statement of Jewish identity: "Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is one."
In other words, the Israelites leaving Babylon were reminded of their most identifying characteristic... their monotheism.
Borrowing from Babylon
Yet in preparing the first 5 books of the Old Testament - the Torah - the Israelite priests in Babylon borrowed much from Babylon itself.
They borrowed details from Babylonian creation stories, and copied the flood story from the Epic of Gilgamesh. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilgamesh_flood_myth
They also added a code of laws copied from Babylonian laws, as noted in Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammurabi :
"The Code of Hammurabi and the Law of Moses in the Torah contain numerous similarities."
Hammurabi was a king of ancient Babylon in the 1700's BC, some 400 years before Moses' time, and 1,200 years before the Israelites resided in Babylon. It wasn't really the Law of Moses, but the Code of Hammurabi - tailored, customized, and re-branded as the Law of Moses when the Torah was written in Babylon.
Preparing for the journey home
The purpose for compiling the first 5 books of the Old Testament was quite simply to prepare the Israelites living in Babylon for their journey back home.
This is why they referred to the land they were returning to as "the Promised Land", "a land flowing with milk and honey", and their "inheritance".
This is why the Torah contained examples of others who had left one land to go to another. Through the stories of Abraham and Moses, the idea of leaving behind a land they knew to go to a land they did not know was packaged and presented to the Israelites living in Babylon - who were now being asked to do the same thing themselves.
Abraham was born and raised in Ur, near the southern Euphrates river in Mesopotamia. That's the land of Babylon, the same land the Israelites were now living in. Yet he moved out of that land and went to the land west of the Jordan River, and the account tells how God blessed him for it.
In the time of Moses, a great many Israelites were born and raised in Egypt. Yet they moved out of that land and went to the land west of the Jordan River, and the account tells how God blessed them for it.
Do we see the recurring theme? After more than 50 years in captivity, most of the original captives were no longer alive. By the time of their release in 539-538 BC, most Israelites had been born and raised in Babylon. Babylon was the only land they knew. Most did not know the land to which they were going, west of the Jordan River.
But if Abraham and his family living in Mesopotamia did it, if Moses and the Israelites living in Egypt did it - that is, left a land they knew to go to a land they did not know - and it went well for them... then it would also go well for the Israelites being asked to leave Babylon, the only land most of them knew, to go to a land almost none of them knew.
And thus, I propose... The Old Testament was written to organize the Israelites exiled in Babylon into a new nation, encouraging them to pack their belongings and go to the land west of the Jordan River with zeal and courage.
This is why they took several persons from other cultures and made them their own... including Uta-napishtim (whom they renamed Noah), Abram (whom they renamed Abraham), Imhotep (whom they renamed Joseph), and Moses - giving them a sense of national identity and pride.
Many of the Old Testament's accounts, laws, and people were adopted from external sources, modified, tweaked, and repackaged to give the Israelites courage on their return to "the land of their forefathers" and the "Promised Land" - a testament and promise that God would be with them just as He was with Abraham and Moses and all the families who made similar moves so very long before.
I contend...
Yet I contend the most important piece of information was withheld from the Israelites living in Babylon... that their religion was started by an ancient Pharaoh of Egypt whom they did not even know... Akhenaten.
I contend their leader Moses was not of Israelite descent, but was Egyptian, a high priest of the Egyptian god Aten.
I contend the early Israelites were not descended from Abram of Ur of Mesopotamia, but were descended from Egyptians, monotheists who were expelled from Egypt when the founder of their religion - Akhenaten - died.
I contend the Israelites were first told they descended from Abram in 539 BC when the Torah was written, as they prepared to resettle west of the Jordan River. I further contend the only reason they were told they descended from Abram of Ur was to draw a parallel between Abram's leaving the land of Sumer (same land as Babylon) to go west of the Jordan - just as the Israelites were being asked to leave Babylon to go west of the Jordan in 539 BC.
I contend Jewish religion was shaped by Babylonian mythology, and their nation was built on Babylonian laws. I further contend had the Israelites not been taken captive into Babylon, they would not have had the law code they had, nor the same story of creation, nor the story of Noah's flood - for these were all Babylonian.
Even their temple and their monotheism were not entirely theirs, but were Egyptian.
As much as I cherish the ancient wisdom found in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, I must draw attention to the religion's origins... it originated in Egypt, with significant restructuring in Babylon.
Joseph Cafariello
PS... (June 9, 2024):
This section is to support my claim that Abraham was not known by the Israelites prior to the end of their Babylonian captivity, prior to 539 BC when the Torah and the bulk of the Old Testament were compiled.
As I explain in my post, I contend the stories of Abraham, Noah, and creation were derived from Babylonian sources, and were inserted into the Old Testament in 539 BC when it was compiled.
When preparing the Torah in 539 BC, the priests gathered together their sacred books and texts and compiled them together. These included the Book of Jasher, the Book of The Wars of the Lord, the Chronicles of the Kings of Israel and Judah, the Annals of King David, the Acts of Solomon, and many others. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-canonical_books_referenced_in_the_Bible
They also gathered the books of the prophets, such as Isaiah and others, and combined them with the newly written Torah to form the first version of the Old Testament, which was later expanded after their return to their homeland.
When compiling these dozens of works into one single work, I contend the Old Testament writers added stories from Babylonian sources, including the creation story, the flood story, and adapted portions of the law code of Hammurabi. I contend this is when Abraham appears in scripture for the first time - in 539 BC, as the Israelites were preparing to leave Babylon to resettle in their homeland.
To support my claim that Abraham made his first appearance in scripture in 539 BC, we need only look at the references made to Abraham in the Old Testament, and where these references are. Let us examine them...
The vast majority of the references made to Abraham appear in the Torah, the first 5 books of the Bible, which I have already supported in my post as having been written in 539 BC. Hence, none of the references to Abraham in the Torah refute my claim that Abraham made his first appearance in scripture in 539 BC.
Outside the Torah, there are the following references to Abraham to consider (I am using the Old Testament as it appears in the Bible):
• 2 references in the book of Joshua:
"It is not known when the Book was written... Some scholars believe it was written ... in 550 BC, at the time of the Babylonian exile, when there was a desire to remember and retell their own history." https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Joshua
I contend Joshua was also compiled in 539 BC, as multiple older texts were consulted and copied in order to establish a record of Israel's history. In either case... 550 or 539 BC, the 2 references to Abraham in the book of Joshua do not refute my claim that Abraham made his first appearance toward the end of Babylonian captivity.
• Multiple references in the books of Kings and Chronicles:
As I already noted above, numerous books and chronicles of the kings were consulted in 539 BC in Babylon when the bulk of the Old Testament was compiled. Thus, these references to Abraham in the books of Kings and Chronicles do not refute my claim of Abraham's late appearance in 539 BC.
• 1 reference in Nehemiah:
This one is easy, since the book describes the reconstruction of Jerusalem after Babylonian captivity. Hence, it does not refute my claim of Abraham's late insertion into scripture.
• 4 references in the Psalms:
"While many of the psalms contain attributions to the name of King David and other Biblical figures including Asaph, the sons of Korah, and Solomon, David's authorship is not accepted by most modern Bible scholars, who instead attribute the composition of the psalms to various authors writing between the 9th and 5th centuries BC. ... the book was probably compiled and edited into its present form during the post-exilic period in the 5th century BC.[5]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psalms
Psalms is similar to the books of Kings and Chronicles noted above, which were compiled along with other scripture in Babylon in 539 BC. And here too, references to Abraham do not refute my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
• 4 references in Isaiah:
"... there is evidence that much of it was composed during the Babylonian captivity and later.[2] Johann Christoph Döderlein suggested in 1775 that the book contained the works of two prophets separated by more than a century,[3] and Bernhard Duhm originated the view, held as a consensus through most of the 20th century, that the book comprises three separate collections of oracles:[4][5] Proto-Isaiah (chapters 1–39), containing the words of the 8th-century BC prophet Isaiah; Deutero-Isaiah, or "the Book of Consolation",[6] (chapters 40–55), the work of an anonymous 6th-century BCE author writing during the Exile; and Trito-Isaiah (chapters 56–66), composed after the return from Exile.[7]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Isaiah
3 of the references to Abraham in Isaiah are located in chapters 41, 51 and 63. As noted in the Wikipedia reference above, these chapters are considered to have been written during and after Babylonian captivity, and thus do not refute my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
The one remaining reference to Abraham in Isaiah appears in chapter 29. This may very well be the only reference to Abraham which refutes my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
However, we must be aware that the scribes compiling the scriptures in 539 BC consulted dozens upon dozens of scrolls and manuscripts, which they made mention of by name. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-canonical_books_referenced_in_the_Bible
Edits and additions were absolutely needed to make sense of the works which were all being compiled into one work for the first time. Since not all of their material was in sequential order, gaps in the record needed to be filled by the scribes at the time the works were being blended together into one single work in 539 BC. We can easily see how this one reference to Abraham could have been added to Isaiah 29 in the year 539 BC, in the interest of harmonizing such a large quantity of scrolls into one work.
• 1 reference in Jeremiah:
"It is generally agreed that the three types of material interspersed through the book – poetic, narrative, and biographical – come from different sources or circles.[16] Authentic oracles of Jeremiah are probably to be found in the poetic sections of chapters 1-25, but the book as a whole has been heavily edited and added to by followers (including perhaps the prophet's companion, the scribe Baruch) and later generations of Deuteronomists.[5] The date of the final versions of the book (Greek and Hebrew) can be suggested by the fact that the Greek shows concerns typical of the early Persian period, while the Masoretic (i.e., Hebrew) shows perspectives which, although known in the Persian period, did not reach their realisation until the 2nd century BCE.[7]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Jeremiah
In other words, the book of Jeremiah can be divided into 3 sections - poetic, narrative, and biographical - each written by different people. As the quote mentions, "the book as a whole has been heavily edited and added to".
Chapters 1-25 are likely the original portion written by Jeremiah (or others of his time) around the beginning of the Babylonian captivity period. But the 1 reference to Abraham appears in chapter 33, in the section that was added later.
How much later could these additions have been made? Two versions of the book exist - one in Greek, the other in Hebrew.
The Greek version "shows concerns typical of the early Persian period" - which is after Babylonian captivity. Cyrus the Great who freed the Israelites from Babylon was king of Persia. The "early Persian period" refers to the period shortly after Israel's release from Babylon.
The Hebrew version "shows perspectives which, although known in the Persian period, did not reach their realization until the 2nd century BCE".
Both versions of the book of Jeremiah, therefore, can be dated to after Babylonian captivity at the earliest. Thus, the 1 reference to Abraham in the book of Jeremiah does not refute my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
• 1 reference in Ezekiel:
"The Book of Ezekiel describes itself as the words of Ezekiel ben-Buzi, a priest living in exile in the city of Babylon between 593 and 571 BC. Most scholars today ... see in it significant additions by a school of later followers of the original prophet. According to Jewish tradition, the Men of the Great Assembly wrote the Book of Ezekiel, based on the prophet's words.[16] ... it is the product of a long and complex history and does not necessarily preserve the very words of the prophet.[2]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Ezekiel
Here again we have a book with "significant additions by ... later followers". And such additions "[do] not necessarily preserve the very words of the prophet". Here too, this reference to Abraham does not refute my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
• 1 reference in Micah:
"Some, but not all, scholars accept that only chapters 1–3 contain material from the late 8th century prophet Micah.[10] The latest material comes from the post-exilic period after the temple was rebuilt in 515 BCE, so that the early 5th century BCE seems to be the period when the book was completed.[14] ... Still later ... the book was revised and expanded further to reflect the circumstances of the late exilic and post-exilic community.[17]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Micah
In other words, only the first 3 chapters can be dated to the prophet Micah's century (8th BC). The remainder of the book was "revised and expanded" in the late Babylonian captivity and post-Babylonian captivity periods.
Where is Micah's one reference to Abraham? In chapter 7 - the portion of additions. Thus, here too, this reference to Abraham does not refute my claim that Abraham first appeared in scripture in 539 BC.
Of all these references to Abraham, only one could possibly refute my claim that Abraham was invented and inserted into scripture in 539 BC in Babylon at the time the Torah and other early Old Testament books were compiled.
Only one exception to my claim? For such an important figure as Abraham? The one who received the promise?
Indeed, there is only one reference that could possibly prove Abraham was known to the Israelites prior to 539 BC. Yet, as I considered above, even this one reference could have been an addition inserted at the time all these sources were consulted in the writing of the Old Testament in Babylon in 539 BC.
Given the absence of any other pre-539 BC reference to Abraham, I still must contend Abraham was "invented" and added into scripture for the first time in 539 BC, for the sole purpose of drawing a parallel between Abram's leaving the land of Sumer (same land as Babylon) to go west of the Jordan - just as the Israelites were being asked to leave Babylon to go west of the Jordan in 539 BC., as I describe in the last section of my post.
submitted by GoAheadMMDay to conspiracy_posts [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 06:34 AbbreviationsAny9235 trans guys?

i was wondering if there’s any trans men in here. no, i’m not the type to get mad at folks for not using the right pronouns - i’m 26 years old, born female, and have had all the surgeries and hormone replacement, you wouldn’t be able to tell me from my male counterparts. i’m engaged to a straight feminine woman and we moved together to a new state and work very high rewarding jobs. nobody around us knows i’m trans(of course besides our families and they’ve always been supportive). the problem: the people that are unaware, that we’re friends with, are always asking “when are you going to have kids” comes up ALL. THE. TIME. what do y’all tell people that poke and prod at you for not having kids? for the longest time we ignored this subject because i’m trans and can’t naturally have them, but the older we’ve gotten we realize its just disrespectful to ask folks. not only that but we’ve decided we simply don’t want them; we want to enjoy the fruits of our labor and enjoy each other. i’m not an asshole, but it’s always a sore subject, ESPECIALLY when the friend asking says something about their infertility. ie) “we can’t have any, i wish we could decide not to”. not sure if we’re just nice but we get asked it A LOT at our ages being mid 20s and it puts us in an awkward spot a lot. sorry for the long post but it’s been heavy on my mind!
submitted by AbbreviationsAny9235 to NoKidsEver [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 06:20 Informal-Power2871 The pain is unbearable

My story is quiet long, but i’ll manage to make it brief.
There was this girl who was interested in me and actually hit up on me first. Before i knew her i liked her looks and her presence and actually wanted to get to know her though I had no intentions to build a relationship with her.
First month was great, she would text me for half a day everyday. I was being love bombed without realizing. She shocked me when she told me that she loves me already after one month of knowing each other. At that point i was already liking her and decided to give it a go. After two months of our long ass conversations we were officially together. But to my extreme disappointment, she suddenly changed and wouldn’t tell me whats wrong exactly. I didnt want to press her or anything so I gave her space. But no, she kept acting hot and cold for 4 months which resulted in intense arguments one or twice a month and she would immediately text me back like nothing really happened.
After 6 months she blindsided me and broke up with me. I was shattered and extremely affected by her decision. I had no self respect and texted her long paragraphs once a week telling her how this is changing me to the better. Within one month of her breaking up with me, she texted me we cant be more than friends and for my stupidity instantly accepted because i did not want to lose her completely. I thought that was a real chance for me to prove myself.
The first 3 months post break up were dry, we would only check up on each other and thats it. But our friendship was getting better and we were like best friends. I thought i was someone special to her as she told me personal things. My love to her never died and i tried to get her back.
I told her how i feel about her and about a week later she told me isn’t interested and doesnt see me as a potential partner. For my extremely blindness of love i said well thats what she would say in 7 years? And decided to not let go. She acted so cold on me and didnt want to see me or even talk to her in person and i didnt mind that because her reputation is VERY important ( we’re arabs). But for some reason she would talk to men in person flirting and joking around like im the problem itself. I confronted her because i felt disrespected and she hurt me so bad and when i said im hurt she gaslit me that she has done nothing wrong. I didnt text her for two weeks which she didnt bother and when i saw her in person i asked her if she wants to kill my feelings to her and she said yes. That was it for me. I suppressed 2 years of emotional abuse by a narcissist who acted hot and cold, and breadcrumbed me. I told my mutual friend everything and he couldnt believe me ( our relationship was private) I even told him she sent me nudes of her and his face turned red immediately. He couldn’t handle it and was very upset of her and the way she treated me. She cried and every of her friends who saw her later comforted her and told them that i want to ruin her life by allegedly saying she sent nude to her boyfriend 2 years ago.
I have finally woke up and i longer want to see her face again and i blocked her everywhere. Im not depressed that i lost the so called soul mate but i wonder how i allowed her to manipulate, gaslight, and breadcrumb me for 1.5 years fully knowing i love her. For 2 years i suffered from this. I even highly suspect she has a boyfriend for months because when i knew that they started talking she simply lost all interest to have a conversation with me which wasnt the case before.
submitted by Informal-Power2871 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 05:49 Spiritual_Sun_1133 (27F) Is this trauma against men or am I a lesbian?

I’ve been doing the am I a lesbian or am I a bisexual dance for over a decade now. Tale as old as time.
I first started coming to terms with and realizing I liked women when I was 16 and it was highly traumatic because my family was very religious. I dated both men and women and then came to the conclusion I was bisexual at 19.
When I was 19 I met (we’ll call him John) and dated him throughout college and ended up marrying him very young.
The feelings I felt for John could probably be described as feelings of limerance. I felt like he was totally out of my league (he wasn’t) my self-esteem was so low and I felt so lucky he wanted to be with me. He cheated on me, deprioritized me and ended up emotionally and physcally abusing me in the marriage. Through all of that I was still so in love with him and couldn’t see my life without him. I was willing to sacrifice myself for him.
I thankfully divorced John in 2021. It was very traumatic and depressing for me but thankfully I was able to escape his abuse.
Following that, I met (we’ll call her Emma). She was the first person I dated after my ex. When I met her we had an immediate connection. I never felt so safe, loved, understood, cared for and taken care of as I did with her.
She was so thoughtful, and kind and my connection with her felt deeper after 2 weeks of knowing her than 6 years of being married to my husband. She showed me what it felt like to be loved, and SAFE. I’ve never felt as safe as I felt with her, even now.
It didn’t work out because I still had way too much trauma from my ex, and unfortunately, it ended due to me.
Flash forward and I am now dating another guy (we’ll call him Mark) we’ve almost been together 3 years. Mark is great. He is the most empathetic man I have ever met. When it comes to me and my feelings he has always been so patient and understanding.
The main area where we struggle is that I want more intimacy from him. Slower sex. Deeper conversations (that happen when we aren’t just drunk or high). Romance (This has been a huge issue).
He is great and loves me so much. I know he wants to be with me forever. I love him too but why am I always questioning if I am a lesbian?
He will look at me and say how beautiful I am. I think he is very attractive but not in the way I think a woman is attractive. A woman will stop me in my tracks with her beauty, like a piece of art.
Sometimes I feel that way with him. He smiles and I feel warm inside. He holds me and I feel safe. We kiss and have sex and I feel close to him. I enjoy sex! But I feel like emotionally something is missing and I will not be able to connect with him fully.
The way I connect with women emotionally just feels right and natural. There is no sense of fear, lack of trust or emotional distance.
Also… Mark and some members of my family have mentioned that it seems like I “hate men” and he has said it's kind of hurtful. I would say things like “all men ____”. I felt bad for this and stopped using that kind of language and re-evaluated my feelings.
But if I’m being honest with myself… I kind of do hate men. How many times has a man abused me? Disrespected my boundaries. Made me feel unsafe. Physically harm me. Sexually harm me. How many other women have dealt with this? How many young girls? I know it's “not all men” but even my kind and caring boyfriend will sometimes defend behaviors of men that I KNOW are more insidious than he realizes.
This post is all over the place. Does anyone have any thoughts?
Am I in denial? Or do I just have trauma around men?
Emma loved me immediately so effortlessly. As much as I care about Mark I feel like I am constantly teaching him and taking this mental load.
P.S
If anyone else is going through it I’d love to chat.
submitted by Spiritual_Sun_1133 to questioning [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 05:22 LFthatLovingFeeling 39 [M4F] #Wisconsin/The US - Are you tired of terribly written posts and getting your heart bruised instead of your butt? Well, have I got an offer for you! Sadistic Daddy Dom/Caregiver looking for a long term connection!

Listen. I know. You've gone through these subreddits a bunch of times. You always see these posts written by men who are clearly too goddamn low effort and are looking for a sexual fantasy and not a person or a connection, or couples looking for their unicorn. It is exhausting. Dating apps aren't much better either.
I'm polyamorous (duh) and partnered but we date separately. We ideally practice Kitchen Table Polyamory.
Well, I have a well formatted list of reasons why you should perhaps send me a message or a chat request. Also, I love list formats so it gives me the chance to indulge in them. So, what are you waiting for? Grab a drink, sit back and see if you vibe with what I'm throwing down.
Part 1 or Why 9 out of 10 Doctors would recommend me
A basic breakdown of myself:
Hobbies, interests, how I spend my too little free time
Part 2: Electric Boogaloo or what I'm looking fonot looking for
Things I look for in someone
Things I enjoy doing with someone
Things I am NOT looking for
Part 3: Epilogue or why you should message me
I know, it is a very large post so far. I felt being detailed and putting myself out there would be the best way to find someone(s) I truly connect with. One of my pet peeves are extremely short responses or posts that don't give me an idea of who someone is. Bear with me, we're almost done.
Message me if:
So, we come to the end of this novel. If you are intrigued, send me a chat request or a DM. I'd love if you'd include details about yourself, what you're looking for, what drew you to my post. A SFW face picture would also go a long way and I'd share one back. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Have a great day/night!
submitted by LFthatLovingFeeling to polyamoryR4R [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 03:48 forky1899 How I would book WWE vs AEW (Part One of Two)

Over the last few weeks, this topic has been speculated about more than normal. While I don't see this ever happening, a fan can dream! So I'm going to give it a crack.
This will be a two night event overseen by a neutral party (me) to protect the integrity of the booking. Each match will feature a party from WWE on one side and a party from AEW on the other. However, that will be as far as the "competition" between both brands go as this is more of a celebration of wrestling than anything.
I'll explain a brief build to each match as well as the results. I haven't given myself too many rules in this other than keeping with current active rosters and trying to respect injuries. If I book someone who's currently injured, oh well. And if I accidentally missed someone who should be on this card, my bad.
Both nights will be held inside Wembley Stadium. Assume it takes place around June-August of this year. The commentary booth for night one will have Tony Schiavone, Pat McAfee, and Taz. The commentary booth for night two will have Michael Cole, Nigel McGuinness, and Corey Graves. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy!
WWE vs AEW: Wrestling's Grandest Clash (Night One):
(Pre-Show) Mens' Casino Battle Royale: Andrade vs Bobby Lashley vs Bron Breakker vs Carmelo Hayes vs Chad Gable vs Chris Jericho vs Christian Cage vs Claudio Castagnoli vs Darby Allin vs Ilja Dragunov vs Katsuyori Shibata vs Kofi Kingston vs Konosuke Takeshita vs Mark Briscoe vs Orange Cassidy vs Pac vs Rey Mysterio vs Ricochet vs Roderick Strong vs Sheamus vs Wardlow
(Not much build needed for this. Just opening a spot for a lot of the upper card guys who don't have a spot. The final two of the match would be Bron and Wardlow with Bron winning.)
Maxwell Jacob Friedman vs Randy Orton
(I feel like this writes itself. Randy views MJF as a younger version of himself. They're both brash, arrogant, and ruthless competitors. MJF, on the other hand, can't stand to be compared to Orton. While both men are babyfaces right now, either one could slip into the heel role for this match.
Randy would be sung to the ring by over 80k strong while MJF gets his special throne entrance. I would have MJF go over here. Orton putting him over would go a long way in cementing MJF as a massive star in wrestling.)
Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill vs Kris Statlander (w/ Malcolm Bivens) and Athena (w/ Billie Starks)
(The build to this begins with Kris confronting Jade. She and Malcolm accuse Jade of running away from AEW because she lost to Kris twice for the TBS Championship. Bianca also gets involved to stick up for her tag team partner. To even the odds, Malcolm enlists the help of Athena---who could get into hilarious antics with each other. As for the match, Jade would get her win back over Kris in a great contest.)
Kazuchika Okada vs Shinsuke Nakamura
(The story with these two goes back YEARS to NJPW. Okada still holds a grudge against Nakamura for taking his Wrestle Kingdom 8 main event. On top of that, both men hold hypocritical grudges against each other for becoming "soft" (Okada's new persona in the Elite and Nakamura becoming complacent with being a midcarder respectively).
As for the match, it's fucking insane. Okada embraces the NJPW version of the Rainmaker while Nakamura does the same and is played down by Lee Englund Jr. While both men are heels irl, you could have either play babyface here. In the end, Okada would go over here after a brutal match. Both men would shake hands in the end; squashing their beef and leaving it all in the ring.)
FTR vs The Usos
(I know Jimmy is technically injured, but he's supposed to be returning soon so fuck it. There would be two central narratives driving this match forward. For one, FTR still hold a grudge against The Usos for their storyline back in 2019. They can blame The Usos for ruining their credibility in the WWE and target Jey and Jimmy separately for it. This would force Jimmy and Jey to reunite to fight a common enemy. However, the second narrative is that The Usos do NOT want to team together. They still have beef for all the hell that Jimmy has put Jey through---which affects their normally perfect teamwork.
As for the match, FTR would go over here. There's no way that a team as divided as The Usos could beat a team as fluid as FTR. Despite that, they come close to becoming the team they once were. This allows both teams to have a classic with one another. After the match, Jimmy looks to Jey for support...but Jey walks out on him. He's clearly not ready to forgive his brother. )
Liv Morgan vs Toni Storm
(This would be an interesting build. As Liv seeps further and further into her blind villainous rage against Rhea Ripley, she encounters another champion who has history with Rhea---Timeless Toni Storm. Toni talks about her past with Rhea but admits how much respect she has for Rhea. Meanwhile, she buries Liv for putting Rhea on the shelf with a cowardly attack and undercutting her legacy.
The match, of course, is fucking great. I believe Liv would have the best showing of her career here while Toni puts on another banger. The match would end when Liv's rage gets the best of her; causing Toni to take advantage and defeat her clean.)
AJ Styles vs Will Ospreay
(Probably the best match of the night fellas lmao. The story going into this is how Ospreay credits AJ Styles for his career. But AJ doesn't care and views Ospreay as a disrespectful punk and promises to end the career that he unintentionally got started.
Again, best match of the night. This would be around thirty minutes of insanity. But in the end, Ospreay defeats Styles.)
Drew McIntyre vs Samoa Joe
(McIntyre's obsession with CM Punk creeps into this show. He targets guys in AEW who affiliate themselves with Punk such as Ricky Starks. This leads to one of Punk's oldest friends, Samoa Joe, stepping in to defend his friend.
Both men have an all out brawl. It isn't long but it is BRUTAL. In the end, McIntyre puts Joe away for a big win. After the match, McIntyre continues his assault until CM PUNK comes down to the ring. Despite being with McIntyre in WWE, Punk refuses to allow McIntyre to hurt his friend and runs him off with a chair. The segment ends with Punk and Joe embracing in the same arena they both had their last match together in.)
MAIN EVENT: Jon Moxley (w/ William Regal) vs Roman Reigns (w/ Paul Heyman)
(The build to this would be...unorthodox. Basically, Moxley would carry the entire build. Moxley would cut a promo calling out Reigns for his absence after losing to Cody at Mania 40. He says that the Roman he knew would have taken his loss like a man and came back deadlier than ever....but the Roman we see now? Not so much. Paul Heyman would try to dissuade Moxley from challenging Roman to no avail. Week after week, Moxley would continue to call out his former "brother" to face him. Finally, on the go home show, Reigns would make his return. He would initially refuse (as he wants to solely focus on regaining the Universal Championship)...but Moxley would confront him. After a personal and intense war of words, Reigns finally accepts and promises to wipe Moxley out of his life FOREVER.
Before the match, Moxley is about to make his way down to the ring from the crowd before he's stopped by William Regal. Regal and Mox share a look---addressing their history in the BCC as well as Regal's betrayal of Mox. But after a nod, Regal begins to walk down to the ring with Moxley. As for Roman, he and Heyman get an epic entrance as always.
As for the match, it is a slow burn WWE style main event. But it picks up in a big way. The Bloodline comes down to interfere on Roman's behalf...but Roman REFUSES their help. This actually ends up costing Roman in the end as Moxley is able to take advantage and BEAT Roman for the first time one-on-one on PPV.
This isn't over though as The Bloodline immediately rush down to the ring and beat down Moxley. Claudio and Wheeler Yuta run down for the save but are still outnumbered. After some hesitation, Reigns tries to stop the assault...but Solo orders an attack on him too! Moxley and Reigns are getting the hell beat out of them until....
SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA...SHIELD!
The crowd pops HUGE as Seth, despite being injured, walks down the aisle. While Seth isn't able to get involved physically, the distraction allows Reigns and Moxley enough time to recover and fight off The Bloodline.
With the ring now cleared, Rollins enters and hugs Moxley. Then Rollins locks eyes with Reigns. It is tense. Over ten years of hatred can be felt in the ring...but also over ten years of love and brotherhood. And ultimately, love conquers all. Rollins and Reigns finally hug each other in the middle of the ring. They're crying. You're crying. I'm crying.
Night 1 of Wrestling's Grandest Clash goes off the air with Rollins...Reigns....and Moxley doing the classic Shield pose in the middle of the ring. One last time.
submitted by forky1899 to fantasybooking [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 03:29 dummmdeeedummm Succinct communication suggestions? And life vent. Happy Sunday

One of my greatest downfalls is overexplaining. Word vomiting. Verbal diarrhea. (See, I just said the same thing three ways.)
Do any of you have any go-to phrases that are short and to the point?
I'd like to find a phrase that is non-threatening but also firm when met with disrespectful, controlling, or manipulative comments.
For example, I have a terminally ill parent. I have been trying to be the one to "take charge" and plan for things, but my brother is such a control freak that me even suggesting dividing duties and responsibilities immediately results in yelling, insults, and blame. It is always defensiveness and blame when all I am trying to do is make sure we divide duties by our strengths so no one gets burned out.
The only thing I asked when caretaking for my dad & roommate (they are also nearing the end so we will be losing the three closest adults in our lives) was for my brother and teen son to help picking up the groceries and taking them to appointments because I have agoraphobia. I did all the meal planning, couponing, cooked all the meals, wound care, medication management, laundry, cleaning, etc. Etc.
It has been two months since my focus has had to shift to my mom & also self-care because I've been slipping further and further into reactive/crisis territory for seeing no end to the stress and honestly no viable solutions for my brother and I to work together
I am now being told by my brother and son that I've "done nothing" for my father and "talk shit" about his roommate because I was caretaking full time but it was getting more dif8cult for me to get reimbursed for groceries & help with bills as I was told I was worth $400 a month for my help (I don't even care at this pount; I love my family)
I also have been looking into ways to save money on my mom's medical bills & look for resources. I sell a lot on Marketplace & a decade ago my parents told me we could sell their star wars collection that's been collecting dust for 20 years.
I brought this up again with the intention clear that I wanted to raise money for my mom & said I would sell and give the money to her...
It was instant pushback from my brother, constantly questioning my suggestions, acting like they're stupid. I got incredibly frustrated because he's lived with my mom unemployed most of his life and won't even get food stamps, so he doesn't have life experience with having to sell items or look for creative ways for resources.
I finally said, "Fine! I have no idea why you are fighting this (my mom at that point had said I DONT NEED HELP. I JUST WANT THE BICKERING TO STOP) but if no one wants to utilize the resource, I could use the money." (I am constantly on the verge of eviction and lucky to still have my place )
My brother got an evil look on his face and said "Ah ha!!!! There it is!!" As if to act like he'd caught me in some insidious scheme to take from my mother.
I yelled at him at that point that he's Delusional & has no idea what the real world is like & that that's what it's like when you struggle to survive, you sell shit when you have no other options.
He yells and is hateful about 90% of our interactions. I've had to move twice in the last six months and got a hiatal hernia because the men wouldn't help. Last week I asked him to help me move some boxes (of fucking pillows!) Up to my apartment because we'd all be riding in the car to my mom's appointment the next day.
He refused to carry the pillows my son never used to be like that but has turned into a mini of my brother & there is little I can do but hope it's a phase that passes
My mom even screamed at my brother to carry the pillows and said she hoped he felt good if she had to take me over there to do it herself. He still barely budged
It is complete delusion defensiveness control issues and hate and while I KNOW my heart and efforts go above and beyond & are in the right place, I am really afraid I will let all the manipulative comments turn me back into the black sheep and start acting up because it is what is expected of me
God that felt good to get it out
Hope next week is a good one for all of us
submitted by dummmdeeedummm to BPD [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 03:29 Dillon123 Mind is Buddha - Final Part

Click here for [Part One], [Part Two], and [Part Three].
As today required a little heat from the fire, I figured it would be a good time to wrap up my little series initiated the other day, "Mind is Buddha". I was thinking I'd maybe get to five posts, but landed on 4, we can pretend the fifth is invisible. It is Sunday, and so let's say hello to Vairocana (He Who Is Like the Sun).
I had come for some discussion on Mu, or Wu, and so raised Joshu's Dog in a post [Not Just No]. This led to the series you're seeing the conclusion to with this post, where we are examining Mind and the Eight Consciousnesses. (This is old news, we were discussing this 8 years ago around here). That's a cakeday for every consciousness. It's a shame we missed out on the blowing out of candles!
Let's get some relief with Huangbo:
You must get away from the doctrines of existence and non-existence, for Mind is like the sun, forever in the void, shining spontaneously, shining without intending to shine. This is not something which you can accomplish without effort, but when you reach the point of clinging to nothing whatever, you will be acting as the Buddhas act. This will indeed be acting in accordance with the saying: 'Develop a mind which rests on no thing whatever.
Now Vairocana is Emptiness (space element) in the centre of the four elements (and the transcendental Wisdom Buddhas). Shining alone is Vairocana.
As Linji taught:
This physical body of yours, composed of the four great elements, can neither expound the Dharma [Buddhist teaching] nor listen to it... Then just what can expound the Dharma and listen to it? This very you standing distinctly before me without any form, shining alone — this can expound the Dharma and listen to it! Understand it this way, and you are not different from the Patriarch Buddha."
So it turns out that in The Letters of Chan Master Dahui Pujue, Dahui seems to use the Shaoshi liu men 少室六門 as a source text for Bodhidharma's teachings. When saying what Bodhidharma taught, Dahui quotes this work, even if that is not Bodhidharma's teaching, this work clearly influenced Dahui.
Here is an example, this is Jeffrey Broughton's footnote #656 attributing Bodhidharma's words to the "Shaoshi liu men 少室六門, T2009.48.370a25–26":
Haven’t you seen what Bodhidharma said to the second patriarch: “You [should] merely, without: desist from all objective supports; within: have no panting in the mind. With a mind like a wall, you can enter the Way.”656
The Shaoshi liu ("Six Gates of Shaoshi") is available to read in on CBETA here: 少室 六門 Shaoshi liumen.
Six Gates brings to mind the six senses,
Master Yunmen cited the words of the Overnight Enlightened One:
The spiritual action of the six senses is empty without being empty; the perfect shine of the singular [mani jewel] is formless form.
The Master held up his fly whisk and said, "This is the perfect light, it is formless form. What do you call form? Come on, try taking that up with me!"
What is Bodhidharma's teaching? Is it pointing at Mind? We know Dahui in his Shobogenzo had Huineng giving the wisdom buddha dharani which brought his student into realization. We read about that in part three titled 'If one attains the state of the Buddha, the eight consciousnesses transform into the four wisdoms,' which shared Huineng's enlightening verse about the transformation of the eight consciousnesses into the four wisdoms, which enable the three-fold body of enlightenment, Vairocana. We also known when "mind is Buddha" and "Buddha is mind", this Buddha is the Golden Buddha, Vairocana.
Anyways, I wish to share two short passages contained within this work which influenced Dahui's zen teaching. So here are two short passages from the 少室 六門 Shaoshi liumen:
無罣礙故無有恐怖。 Because there are no obstacles, there is no fear.
生死心恐怖。 The heart is fearful of life and death.
無為性自安。 The nature of non-action (or nirvana) is inherently peaceful.
境忘心亦滅。 When the environment is forgotten, the mind also ceases.
性海湛然寬。 The ocean of nature is calm and vast.
三身歸淨土。 The three bodies return to the Pure Land.
八識離因緣。 The eight consciousnesses are free from causes and conditions.
六通隨實相。 The six transcendental powers follow the true nature.
復本却還源。 Return to the origin and revert to the source.
Three bodies returning to the Pure Land, the eight consciousnesses being free from causes and conditions. Returning to origin and reverting to the source.
Do these eight consciousnesses have divine power that will guide us into awakening? Well, let's look to the Shaoshi liumen once more as it may explain what is Bodhi.
故知般若波羅蜜多是大神呪是大明呪。 Therefore, it is known that Prajnaparamita is the great divine mantra, the great illuminating mantra.
般若為神呪。 Prajna (wisdom) is the divine mantra.
能除五蘊疑。 It can remove doubts about the five aggregates.
煩惱皆斷盡。 All afflictions are completely severed.
清淨自分離。 Purity naturally separates.
四智波無盡。 The waves of the four wisdoms are endless.
八識有神威。 The eight consciousnesses have divine power.
心燈明法界。 The lamp of the mind illuminates the Dharma realm.
即此是菩提。 This itself is Bodhi (enlightenment).
(Oops! Continued in comments, post was too long!)
submitted by Dillon123 to zen [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:14 7obu I hate these bitches man oh my god

No I do not hate women. Its not that deep. Im only talking about women because im a straight dude. I have no experience dating men, im sure they are equally as annoying in there own ways. but I need to vent bro cuz im starting to go crazy. Ive began to catch myself becoming embittered with the dating process, as im sure hundreds of other posts here can attest too. My issue has never been attraction though, atleast superficially. I can not get ONE WOMAN ON THESE APPS to not flake. I have never been rude or sexual. I think my biggest shortfall is talking on the app. I have absolutely zero patience to text anybody. Its not worth anything in my opinion until I meet you in person. Im not talking about fucking either, I mean just one genuine coffee date. I want to know someones sense of humour, see what their cadence is like, hear their stories from there mouths instead of words on screen. People are so much more interesting when you get to know them in person, in my opinion, and allows both of us to see if chemistry even exists. These motherfuckers (sorry im salty) will just completely disregard my time for literally anything. Sometimes its just flat disrespect. "Sorry, fell asleep" "woah completely forgot about it". Today, for example, was a reschedule for a date that was supposed to take place a week ago. It got rescheduled to yesterday, Saturday, then rescheduled once again to today. To which she answers my good morning text, but suddenly leaves my confirmation text unopened until AFTER THE TIME I SUGGESTED 45 minutes after, to tell me that she "fell asleep" so she cant make it. its not even subtle bro. The barrier is clearly the fucking shitty app. Once I DO meet these women, its smooth sailing. I never have an issue on actual meetups, the problem is getting these motherfuckers to follow through on what they said. I understand im giving off bad vibes right now, and i would prefer not too, but who cares bro. Im not meeting anybody later anyways lmfaoo Oh well thanks for reading my stupid ass rant
submitted by 7obu to confessions [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:09 Mommy_E_ Should I reach out to my daughter's father other baby's mother, Even though they have no idea my daughter even exists?!

Honestly, I've been contemplating reaching out to my baby daddy's 1st baby mom because I think it is only right that my daughter even though she's only 1 gets a chance to meet her older sister! so they know she exists!
okay, let me back up! I dated my daughter's sperm donor for 4.5 long and gruesome years, he was a textbook grandiose narcissist literally in every way, besides the feeling of my internal flame and light being snuffed out I chalked everything up to that being his personality and I tried my best to cope because he was sweet at times until I decided that I didn't want to have him bring chaos into my life anymore I learned what a narcissist was and that I was in an abusive relationship, ie; him hitting me and giving me back eyes, him going to jail, constantly lying and cheating, using meth and other substances and constantly fighting and selling sex for money) we broke up on 8/2/2022, I had to call the police because he put his hands on me again in front of his daughter, after his daughter and I went to grab some food for breakfast from the supermarket and I forgot to leave the back door open and I took the keys on accident, thinking he would need more time at the gym.
I have to add his daughter and I had a beautiful relationship. We would go and pick her up on his weekends and she would spend 95% of the time with me, while he was out doing god knows what! we both came to love each other very much her she would call me on Facetime just to talk and only listened to me when I told her to do stuff and not to him because we had built respect and mutual trust. She knew she was safe with me and It was one of the reasons I stayed in that relationship so long to make sure she would be alright and no one would ever try to hurt her because my sperm doner would bring her to addicts' houses and just around shady men and women and trans women as well.
After the incident about two weeks later, I found out I was expecting my daughter. I told him right away and he came with lots of different pregnancy tests to my apartment and he was so disrespectful towards me saying there was no possible way he could even be the father and stuff like that! I decided to lie and told him I got my period and moving forward going no contact would be the best for my mental health and pregnancy. I saw him a total of twice during my pregnancy, Maybe it was the hormones and the fact that his daughter and I and the other baby's mom had a positive and friendly relationship makes me think that maybe I could reach out to see if she would even reciprocate to talk to me since he does not claim my daughter, or had NOT told his family about her even though she looks just like him!
so recently I was scrolling on my IG and he had put up a story saying that he was going back to jail and that he was fighting to see his first daughter! I am not going to lie I was happy as hell and it just feels like a prime opportunity to maybe reach out to her so that my daughter gets to meet her big sister, I've written so many letters but I never dare to send them even though we live not even 15 minutes away from each other, I don't want to ambush or push my daughter on to anyone she is happy and stable and my current boyfriend and his family are so loving and protective of her!
Anyway, would I be opening a Pandora's box by reaching out to her or should I mind my business and continue essentially living my life without any of these people?
I tried to find her on Facebook many times over this past year and a half with no success, the only information I have for sure is the home address I just so happen to remember from pick-ups and drop-offs and I'm not even sure if she is currently living there so there's that as well! Reddit family, what the heck should I do?
submitted by Mommy_E_ to BabyBumps [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:03 WyoPeeps Almost scammed. People Suck.

So. My wife and I just moved from Wyoming to New Mexico. We have a situation that required us to hire movers. After as much research that we could muster we hire Eagle Moving. (I know, I know....) Man, are they good at looking legit! 6 days prior to moving, our realtor talked with us about logistics of closing and things and we mentioned mover and she warned us that it could be a scam. I started going back through paperwork and noticed that a lot of things didn't match what we were told and what we had read. After it became extremely apparent that it was a scam we cancelled, after paying almost $5k in deposits. We immediately got $1300 back but they said we would never see the rest.
I immediately started calling anyone I could find that looked legit. All the big ones, Mayflower, Benkins, North American wouldn't even come to my small town. Finally an Atlas affiliate out of Sal Lake City went above and beyond to help, but just couldn't make it work. Finally, I reached out to the Salt Lake franchise of Two Men and a Truck. They were so helpful and were able to take us on short notice. They quoted us a flat rate and we booked. They arrived and the 2 guys were polite, and mostly professional but pretty slow. What was quoted at 4 hours, took almost 12. They finished loading just as the new owner arrived to do the walkthrough before closing. Unloading at the new place 5 days later, they again estimated 4 hours, but took almost 8. They took care of our stuff, with only one piece of damage that the managers quickly resolved.
Late on move in day, we learned the bank had approved our charge back and we got the rest of the money back!!!
So. In all. Beware of scammers. They're fucking awful and I hope they step on Legos every night when they get up to pee. But a huge shout-out to the Salt Lake/Ogden branch of Two Men and a Truck. They pulled off a tall order at short notice.
submitted by WyoPeeps to moving [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:01 SvenSvenkill3 RANT: I'm sick of people with blatant agendas commenting on YT clips (etc), making ill informed and false accusations about the creators having an "agenda" and "bias" (etc), whilst unashamedly doing the exact same thing themselves and yet never having actually seen the rest of the source material.

Earlier, I was scrolling down the YT shorts in my feed and came upon this 42 seconds long clip from the BBC show, 'Blue Lights', set in Northern Ireland -- it's probably a good idea to watch that clip before reading the rest of this rant.
Now, I've actually watched both seasons of the show and was pleasantly surprised with how it is pretty damn good, especially for a police procedural show, with excellent direction, pacing and editing, smart and nuanced writing, good character arks and progression, and brilliant performances from the entire cast.
And so, as I read the comments on that YT short, I wasn't surprised but still amazed at the amount of idiots who clearly hadn't watched the show but still had the audacity and confidence to comment on it and use the clip to push their misogynistic agendas and all whilst simultaneously accusing the clip/show itself of having an agenda.
Comments such as,
"They care more about his wife than him"
Or,
"What’s with people automatically assuming men [sic] did something wrong?"
Or,
"The funny part is I know this was made by a woman as he is showing every signs [sic] a woman should be scared of including talking about how they look good in this situation.'
However, apart from the fact that the clip itself, taken on its own, doesn't in any way do anything that justifies or validates such comments, there are two undeniable facts that make such comments completely redundant and expose them for what they truly are (ignorant, assumptive, biased and with a clear agenda of their own):
1 - Before the clip starts, the two policewomen (called to the address because of reports of a disturbance) arrive on scene to find the front door wide open, and they can see through the door and adjacent front window that there has been a violent disturbance of some kind, with a broken small glass coffee table in the hallway and pool of blood beneath it amongst the shards of broken glass, and a trail of blood on the floor leading deeper inside the house. And so the two policewomen pull out their batons and one goes into the house, following the trail of blood as she makes her way through the ground floor, while the other makes her way around the side of the house to the back yard (both of them calling out things like, "Police! Hello? Is anybody home? Is anybody hurt?"). They both then converge outside in the back yard to discover the scene we see in the clip, whereupon the blonde policewoman says to the obviously very inebriated man with blood on his arm and T-Shirt, "You all right? It's OK..." and then, as we see at the start of the clip, she asks him, "Is that your blood?" And THEN upon learning that he's burning his wife's clothes, she asks about his wife's whereabouts.
So yeah, the two policewomen demonstrably DO care about him AND his wife. There's no gender bias in their actions or the writing of all this whatsoever.
Oh, and side-note: the man's wife is fine and hadn't left him, and she appears on scene immediately after this clip ends, calling his name. "Gary! Gary!... What in the name of shite is going on here?" For it turns out that she'd merely stayed the previous night at her sister's place because, as we can see in the clip, her husband has serious mental health issues with alcohol, and he won't quit and/or seek help despite her pleas, and so she was simply completely and utterly exhausted with his shit and nursemaiding him every day for months and months, and she desperately needed just one night away.
Then, in a later scene inside the house, just after we see the wife finishing dressing her husband's arm wound, the blonde policewoman says to the wife, "I'm sorry, I have to ask you this, but has he ever hurt you?" To which the wife replies, obviously being totally sincere and completely honest, "God no. He's a good man. He'd never do that." And we learn that it seems his drinking escalated after he was let go as an English teacher and it's implied it was the drinking which made him lose his job in the first place, a job he absolutely loved ("The drink took everything from him"), and we even see a trophy, "Teacher of the year: Mr White" on one of their shelves -- and so, yeah, it's not as though this is some kind of two dimensional cliched misandrist plotline, you know? It's more nuanced than that. Indeed, in a later scene the husband/Gary/ex-teacheMr White is in the back of their police car and he talks about, "the stamp of nature" (which is the title of this episode), and the brunette policewoman explains to her blonde colleague that this phrase is from Hamlet and that, "It means... changing who you are is really feckin' difficult... But worth a try". For as I typed, this show is pretty damn good and far more nuanced than these right wing incels apparently could ever possibly understand.
2 - The show was created by two men who along with one female writer either collectively or individually wrote all the episodes. In fact, the actual episode this clip is taken from is solely written by one of those two men* (see Edit below). I even pointed this out to one commenter who had replied to the second YT short comment I quoted above by answering that comment's question with this load of nonsense:
"Female writers, thats why theres two female officers on duty together, uk police tend to pair a woman w a man for safety n security reasons. [sic]"
However, his response to me replying to him and pointing out that this particular episode was actually written by a man was,
"And u think they have complete creative control of their work? anything aired on British tv nowadays is either pushing some sort of agenda or the writers are told what to make it about. cant make a "realistic" drama with no realistic features. [sic]"
i.e. he switched from there being fault/agenda on the part of "female writers" to some secret cabal in the BBC telling the writers what to write.
I also later pointed out to him that actually on mainland Britain and in Northern Ireland, women are NOT always paired with men and are often paired together, and there is no rule for or against doing so. Three hours later, he has yet to respond. What a surprise!
Anywhy, to conclude this rant, I see stuff like this ALL the time online: people confidently sharing skewed takes that aren't indicative of what is actually happening in the clip/video they're commenting on and demonstrating that they obviously haven't seen the whole scene/show/series/etc, and yet they STILL have no issue confidently and unfoundedly doing so and claiming there is some kind of "woke" agenda, etc, and all whilst pushing a sexist right wing agenda of their own.
It's absolutely mind-boggling and maddening.
__________________________________________________

*Edit: I just double checked on IMDB (having previously taken my data from the Wiki) and it seems that episode 3 of the second season was written by another woman (not previously included above). Plus, most importantly, the episode in question in this post, episode 4 of the second season, "The Stamp of Nature", WAS indeed written solely by a man, 'Noel McCann' (his only writing credit on the show), but that Noel McCann isn't one of the two original (male) creators and/or usual and predominantly three writers for 'Blue Lights'. I hope that makes sense!



submitted by SvenSvenkill3 to saltierthankrayt [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:42 Crescentbrush Rewriting Bobby coming out (because I despised how the comics did it)

As a gay man, I will loathe the way they made Bobby come out until the day I die. When the O5 X-Men come from the 1960s to the current time period, they go through changes--including Bobby realizing he's gay when Jean intrusively reads his mind and confronts him on it. I'm not here to argue whether he should or shouldn't have been retconned as gay (or how problematic it was to explain that his memory and feelings of this was locked away), but I did wanna say another way that they could've handled this. I'm not an X-Men expert, but people tell me it was coded for a while (whether deliberately or not), so let's explore that.
  1. Jean (young or current) is not involved. I hated her so much for her role in this. Reading his mind and then confronting him about it--whether in-character or not--was so disrespectful and out of line.
  2. It happens at different times and different ways for O5 Bobby and Present-Bobby. Let's start with O5 Bobby. During a heart-to-heart, Present-Bobby talks to his past self about his life and relationships up to this point, making O5 Bobby question his sexuality--though he doesn't immediately come out. Exploring 2010s New York as well as being exposed to a diverse group of people (in terms of race, religion, sexuality, etc.) makes O5 Bobby curious about exploring his sexuality, though this is made difficult since many aspects of gay culture would appear hypersexualized--and not just to us, but by his 1960's POV as well. It flusters Bobby and makes him even more concerned about coming out, worried about being seen as a degenerate. Eventually he musters up the courage to go out with a guy who can understand him wanting to take it slow (let's say Romeo) and they date until Bobby has to return to the future, rather than Romeo going through that portal and appearing to ghost O5 Bobby.
  3. Meanwhile, present-day Bobby sees his O5 self dating a guy, and it's jarring, to say the least. He suddenly feels self-conscious, and doesn't fully embrace his sexuality until after O5 Bobby is gone, having left behind a journal filled with advice and notes about how he felt in order to guide his present-day self. Similar to O5 Bobby, present-day Bobby still has jitters about gay dating--especially since he's been convinced that he was straight for a longer period of time and has even been in relationships with women. As annoying as him wanting to move across-country with Jonah was, I do like the idea that he was ready to move quickly in a new, healthy relationship, since I do imagine him going through even more trying times in the world of dating, namely because he's physically in his prime and has a reputation for himself, in contrast to his time-displaced counterpart.
And I was robbed of a true Daken/Iceman couple, but that's another post entirely. I'd like to see Bobby with Somnus or Pyro II again.
submitted by Crescentbrush to xmen [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:39 santinodemeo John Rosatti employed Judge Aileen Cannon's husband; Rossati is a reported member of the Colombo Crime Family; he was prosecuted & convicted of a felony years ago in the Eastern District of New York by AUSA Andrew Weissmann. Rossati has donated to trump's campaign.

John Rosatti employed Judge Aileen Cannon's husband; Rossati is a reported member of the Colombo Crime Family; he was prosecuted & convicted of a felony years ago in the Eastern District of New York by AUSA Andrew Weissmann. Rossati has donated to trump's campaign. submitted by santinodemeo to Trumpvirus [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:38 santinodemeo John Rosatti employed Judge Aileen Cannon's husband; Rossati is a reported member of the Colombo Crime Family; he was prosecuted & convicted of a felony years ago in the Eastern District of New York by AUSA Andrew Weissmann. Rossati has donated to trump's campaign.

John Rosatti employed Judge Aileen Cannon's husband; Rossati is a reported member of the Colombo Crime Family; he was prosecuted & convicted of a felony years ago in the Eastern District of New York by AUSA Andrew Weissmann. Rossati has donated to trump's campaign. submitted by santinodemeo to The_Mueller [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:27 Alternative_Bite6965 What’s your opinion on celebrity crushes in a relationship?

I follow this girl on TikTok who’s in a relationship and she constantly reposts videos of all of her celebrity crushes. And I mean like edits from fan pages saying how attractive they are etc
I personally think if I was her boyfriend in that situation I would be screwing. I get like having light celebrity crushes but actively sharing over social media how much you find all these different men attractive while having a boyfriend seems really weird to me. I mean if he’s doing the same fair game but I certainly couldn’t deal with that.
Call me insecure but I just think it’s disrespectful if you have a partner and you want them to know you find other people attractive whether they’re a celebrity or not. Let alone embarrassing them further by posting it online. I’m not saying you can’t have a celebrity crush because we all do even if we don’t admit it. Everyone still finds certain people attractive I just think admitting it to your partner is quite hurtful especially if it becomes obsessive to the point where you’re posting about them constantly.
What do you guys think or am I just a sad insecure male because I think there should be a bit more respect in these situations?
submitted by Alternative_Bite6965 to dating [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:17 lost_library_book [You say he's a murderer, but we're in *love*] My (47F) pregnant daughter (22F) is going to marry an incarcerated man (29M). How can I go about this situation?

I AM NOT OOP. OOP IS u/ThrowRA-sad_mom123
Originally posted on relationship_advice
Content warning: mentions of stalking, domestic violence, homicide
2 updates - mediumish
Original post - June 7th, 2024
Update 2 - June 9th, 2024
Update 3 - June 9th, 2024
My (47F) pregnant daughter (22F) is going to marry an incarcerated man (29M). How can I go about this situation?
I’m concerned for my child. Yes she’s an adult but I feel like she’s making the worst decision for herself. I don’t approve AT ALL.
My daughter had good things going on for herself. She graduated high school, went to college and graduated with her associates, got accepted into dental school and all of its going down the drain because she’s chosen to invest her time and energy into her “soulmate”.
About a year ago, my daughter started writing letters to prisoners as a pen pal to keep them company. At first I was uncomfortable with the idea for many, many reasons (it never crossed my mind that she’d fallen for a criminal) but I still rented a P.O. Box for her so she wouldn’t give out her address.
My daughter was in a healthy relationship with her now ex-fiancé. They’ve been together since her senior year in high school. They just had their first child over a year ago, expecting another, and they got engaged 6 months ago. A month ago, my daughter told me that she and her fiancé were taking a break and two weeks ago she called off the engagement and left him. He’s a complete wreck. He told me it hurts that his family that he created with my daughter is now broken. He feels so blindsided as do I because I believed my daughter was truly in love but she wasn’t, she wasn’t happy.
I’ve been very supportive of my daughter during this whole situation, that is until she told me she was already in a new relationship. I was taken aback. I obviously started questioning her about it and she confessed that she had fallen for one of the prisoners she’s written to, in fact, they’ve been together for 3 months. It makes me sick to my stomach even typing this out right now because I just can’t believe it. She said they’ve been in contact for almost 8 months and since then they’ve fallen more and more in love with each other. She’s visited him multiple times, in fact she’s even taken my grandson to see this man. She’s shown me pictures of them embracing and him holding my grandchild. I’ve done some research and looked up his charges and I’m livid she even brought my grandson, even herself around someone who could do such horrible things. I’m terrified for my daughter and grandson.
I’ve tried expressing my concerns to her but she’s in a whole other world. She told me the last in person visit they had he popped the question and she said yes, that’s when I snapped. I was and am very pissed about this whole situation and she’s hurt that I’m not supportive of her decisions. She defended their relationship and her choices and we started arguing. It got so bad that now she’s not speaking to me or allowing me to see my grandbaby and it breaks my heart. I love my child but I will never approve of this relationship.
I understand that as an adult, she has the right to make her own choices, and l've always been proud of her independence. But as someone who truly loves her deeply, it's hard for me to watch her make a decision that I feel could be harmful to herself and my grandson. I'm scared for her because of what I've learned about this person's past, and I can't shake the fear of what could happen. I don't want to lose her or my grandchild to a situation that seems so risky. I don’t know what else I can do and I feel so hopeless. Please, what else can I do?
TLDR: I'm worried because my daughter, who's achieved so much, is throwing it all away for a prisoner she fell for while being a pen pal. She's left her fiancé for him, and it's hard for me to stomach or support this decision.
Relevant Comments
terayonjf
I would personally give all the information you have on the new guy to the ex and implore him to get to family court immediately and fight for full and sole custody of the kids. You can't stop your adult child from ruining her life and putting herself in danger BUT you can assist in getting your minor grandchild away from this situation and away from her poor decision making. She may hate you for doing this but the safety of the child is more important than her clouded feelings right now and maybe the courts threatening to remove her child might be the wake up call to stop the foolishness
cassowary32
Is the former fiancé fighting for custody? How does your daughter plan to support her two kids? Hopefully the ex will be able to make sure the kids are safe and get CPS involved if they are not. I have a feeling that the exhaustion from single parenting a newborn will have your daughter coming to her senses soon.
How much longer is her partner in jail for?
Her ex fiancé still doesn’t know about her new relationship. When my daughter ended their relationship, he felt completely blindsided because he didn’t see it coming, no one did. If he knew she was in another relationship, especially with a criminal, it would be a living nightmare. I mean he has the right to know because she’s bringing his children to see this man.
For privacy reasons, i will not give out any names. He’s currently serving a life sentence (I’ll let you guess) but he could get out early due to parole. He has a history of domestic abuse and breaking protective orders.
In later replies, OOP reveals that daughter's new beau is in prison for stalking, violation of protective orders, and murder. Mostly that last one.
KaleidoscopeRude4370
A LIFE SENTENCE?!?!?!??!
You need to explain to your daughter now before you take legal action to gain sole custody with the father. She needs it spelt out on paper how this person is literally dropping an atomic bomb on her life while literally being locked up.
This is the craziest post I have ever read. Please update us and I am sorry this is happening.
Updates 1 & 2 - 2 days later
I wanted to start off with thanking everyone that took time to give me some advice. After receiving a lot of comments with suggestions on how i should handle this situation i went ahead and told the father of my grandchildren about what’s been going on. He was my soon to be son in law and I’ve grown to love him as if he was my own. I believe he has every right to know about the wellbeing of his children so I confessed everything to him. Thankfully, I have a family therapist who is a very close friend of mine. She’s been here with us since the divorce between me and my ex husband.
I called her, we spoke about the situation and she agreed to guide me to tell the kids father. I called him over to my home and we all had a very long talk. I let him know everything and he broke down, crying hysterically. It was horrible. He felt so violated not only as a partner to her but as a father to their kids. I made it very clear that I would support him no matter the circumstances, at this point it’s not only about my daughter but my grandkids. We discussed the charges against my daughters new fiancé, and he was beyond livid. He actually suggested himself taking my daughter to court and I agreed with him that it would be the best thing to do. We came to an agreement that he wouldn’t tell my daughter what he knew that way I could get more information to help him plead his case. But yesterday, shit hit the fan.
Yesterday, I received some angry texts from my daughter and it didn’t end well. I posted the texts here : https://www.reddit.com/texts/s/9dNmfkfBab
Text are transcribed below, feel free to skip to where this post resumes.
D = Daughter; M = Mom (OOP)
D: Mom
D: Why aren't you answering me ??
D: Dude Answer your phone *eyeroll* *facepalm*
D: HELLOO????
M: I'm sorry I couldn't answer the phone, I was driving and my phone wasn't connected to the Bluetooth.
M: What's wrong babe, is everything ok?
D: Why tf do you hate me so much
D: Like what the fuck is wrong with you ?? Why are you going out your way to tell my business to [redacted] for ?
M: [redacted] babe I love you but please don't speak to me like this.
M: Can you please try telling me what's going calmly.
D: The fuck do I need to be calm for all you do is stress me out. I'm 7 months pregnant and high risk and you want me stressed for what ?????
M: [redacted] honey I don't want you to be stressed and I don't want to be the reason to cause it.
D: SO why the fuck are you telling [redacted] my business?
M: What do you mean?
D: He's been blowing up my phone all night long.
D: He called me again on his break this morning and said you brought him to see Dr [redacted] and told him that I've been cheating on him throughout our relationship.
D: You told him about [redacted] and that ive been letting him around [redacted]
D: Wtf is wrong with you?
M: [redacted] honey there's nothing wrong with me. I understand why you're upset but baby this man is a very dangerous criminal.
M: He's doing life for a reason. He murdered his ex. He abused her and she went to get an order of protection against him and he violated all of it.
M: I love you and [redacted] with all my heart and I can't imagine a life without you both.
D: OH MY GOD
D: YOURE SO FUCKING NARCISSISTIC *facepalm**facepalm*
M: [redacted], I'm asking you to please be respectful. I don't deserve to be spoken to like this.
D: [in reply to M: [redacted] honey there's nothing wrong with me. I understand why you're upset but babe this man is a very dangerous criminal.] Dangerous?? You don't even fucking know him
M: Did you skip over the message right after that. He was abusing a poor girl. She didn't feel safe and went to get a protective orders against him and he violated them and ended up murdering her. [redacted] open your eyes.
M: He's guilty and serving time.
D: He's not guilty of a damn thing. You clearly don't understand how any of this shit works.
D: He wasn't found guilty he took a plea deal
D: He still got life but he can still get out on parole
D: He did this to avoid getting life without parole.
D: You don't understand any of this shit
M: He still killed someone. Why are we not addressing this? He's a murder
D: No he's not. He's a victim that needed to defend himself.
M: Defend himself? He was a grown ass man beating on a woman.
D: So men can't be victims of abuse?
D: The bitch would start fights, hit him and play victim in the end. It was a whole cycle
M: [redacted] can we not do this over text? Please answer your phone.
D: No I don't want to we can talk thru text or don't have to talk at all *grinning smily*
M: What is your issue?
D: My issue is you.
D: You're weird as fuck going behind your daughters back
D: I'm your kid. You should have my back
M: I do have your back, but I also care for the livelihood of my grandchildren. This situation is unhealthy and unsafe for children. You as an adult can whatever you please, but when children are being put in these toxic situations, action needs to be taken.
D: oh so you agree with [redacted] that I'm an unstable, unfit mother *crying-laughing**crying-laughing**crying-laughing*
D: You're such a narcissistic bitch
D: I can see why dad divorced you before he dies.. I wouldn't want to be buried next to you either
M: I've had enough of the disrespect [redacted] I've been nothing but calm and respectful and you've disrespected me over and over.
D: We've been past respect. You told my business to my baby daddy.
D: You disrespected me so I'm returning it *laughing-crying*
M: You've changed. You have become such a nasty individual and it's upsetting that as my only daughter you treat me this way after everything I've done for you.
D: yeah I have changed
D: I had a fucking baby
D: Went through postpartum by MYSELF
D: [redacted] would see me struggling and didn't do shit. I was working to provide for my family. I had no emotional support. I WAS BY MYSELF
D: just me and my son. When I found out I was having baby 2 i was by myself. Yeah [redacted] had a job and took care us but he wasn't there to help me
D: I WAS BY MYSELF.
D: I found a man who yes made some mistake in his past but he's making up for it. He finished school, is allowing god to lead him in life, and he's positive
D: He respects me and pushes me to be strong. He motivates me and he provides emotional support. I don't need a mans money because I make my own but I needed love and he provided that for me
D: I don't understand why you felt the need to go out of your way to disturb our peace but I'm happy and very much in love with him and I'm not leaving him.
M: Look at how you're acting [redacted]. You're spiraling. This man is no good.
D: Omg gtfo I'm tired of the back and forth *facepalm*
D: Like I told [redacted], good luck taking me to court *finger*
D: Until then, you won't be seeing me, [redacted], or the baby for the sake of our mental health.
D: You bring nothing but drama and negativity into our lives and we'd be much better off without you. Please don't contact me or your will be blocked
POST RESUMES HERE
I called the children’s father to ask him what the hell was he thinking and he explained that he wasn’t. He’s been apologizing nonstop but the damage has already been done. I’m at a loss for words. I’m devastated. I’m heartbroken. I’ve ofícially lost my daughter and grandkids and I don’t know what else to do. I can’t imagine not being a part of their lives and it hurts me deeply. What did I do wrong to deserve this? Is there any way I could fix this ?
Relevant Comments
trishsf
Time. Guarantee this guy has other women on the hook. Why not? He’s got nothing going for him and will never see the light of day again. Maybe it’s possible to hire a PI that can find out if there are others? At some point, she’s going to miss being touched. Dates. Hugs in the morning and at night. Just be there when she crashes because she will. That’s all that you can do. I’m so sorry.
TrifleMeNot
Keep supporting the father. He will get them eventually and you can still be Grandma. Your daughter was lost before you even posted. She may come back but keep in with the Dad. Good luck OP.
He feels really guilty for my daughters reaction but I believe it was only a matter of time before she was going to crash out. At this moment in time, I’m worried for my grandson. It makes me question if my daughter can get so angry with me with something like this, how angry can she get at my grandbaby 💔
SnooWords4839
Your grandchild's dad can still get custody.
Daughter is making horrible choices.
After rereading her messages, I think it’s possible my daughter was suffering from postpartum depression and by getting pregnant again so soon her body didn’t get enough time to heal. Her hormones are all over the place and her mental is declining.
She wasn’t like this a year ago, she was a happy, respectful, caring soul but all of that’s changed. and I feel horrible. I wish I could’ve seen her behavior myself. I could’ve gotten her the help she needed right then and there 😞
Marked ongoing.
If you have comments, keep them HERE. DO NOT brigade over to the original post to comment. DO NOT harass the OOP with dms or replies.
Stay safe and remember: at least 37% of your after 5 pm beverage sales must consist of mixed/blended call drinks.
submitted by lost_library_book to BORUpdates [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:12 John-Sedgewick-Hyde Kids abused at MO boarding school have long sought justice. He's determined to bring it

Kids abused at MO boarding school have long sought justice. He's determined to bring it
Transcript:
PIEDMONT, Mo. -- His voice gets heavy and even starts to crack when he talks about the abuse claims that have engulfed an unlicensed boarding school in his southeast Missouri county.
“I didn’t know,” Wayne County Sheriff Dean Finch says, referring to former students’ yearslong allegations of physical and mental abuse at the school. “I didn’t.”
When in 2014 Finch scooped up a runaway from Lighthouse Christian Academy, the skin on his feet starting to peel away from frostbite, the teen didn’t divulge any abuse. Neither did a boy who ran away from the Wayne County boarding school three years later, the sheriff said. Same thing with the boy who ran away two years ago.
“Kids didn’t say a word,” said Finch, who has been the sheriff since 2013. “I tried to get it out of them, why they were running away. But they never said anything.”
Boys would tell him, the sheriff said, that they were forced to do jumping jacks, intense exercises and stand at the wall for hours as punishment. Or they just didn’t like the school run by ABM Ministries because staff members were mean. But nothing they shared with him, he said, led him to believe a Missouri law had been broken.
Until earlier this year.
After five boys ran away from the secluded boarding school near Piedmont over a three-week period in January, one boy told him something “I could sink my teeth into,” Finch said. And once the sheriff spoke to a former student from more than 15 years ago, “all the dominos started to fall,” he said.
Since March, he’s traveled to 10 states, interviewed about 25 former students and spoken to many others on the phone. In the coming days, he plans to speak with dozens more. Now in their 20s and 30s, many of these men and women are telling the sheriff what they’ve told The Star. They said staff members put them in headlocks and at times hit them, that food and water were withheld and they were made to exercise for hours and work in extreme temperatures.
Others described what they call “emotional torture” at the school owned by Larry and Carmen Musgrave.
“I’m going to investigate this thoroughly,” Finch told The Star in a series of interviews over the past two months. “Every victim will be interviewed. Every victim will have their say, they will be able to tell their story.
“Until the end, I am here. And if there’s charges there, those charges will be filed.”
In early March, Larry and Carmen Musgrave were charged with kidnapping and another staffer faces one count of physical abuse of a student. The sheriff said he expects additional charges.
The couple pleaded not guilty and their attorney did not respond to multiple calls for comment.
Larry Musgrave denied that students were mistreated or abused at the school, Finch said.
“Whenever we interviewed him, he laughed about it,” Finch said. “And he said, ‘That is not going on. That never happened.’”
Soon after the Musgraves were arrested, Lighthouse closed. The husband and wife were released on their own recognizance and required to wear GPS monitoring devices.
“We’re very happy and proud that (the sheriff) is standing up and saying this is wrong,” said Rebecca Randles, a Kansas City attorney who has handled many boarding school abuse cases. “We’ve never had that response from any law enforcement before.”
Indeed, when it comes to boarding schools, many say Missouri hasn’t seen a sheriff like Finch. And they hope his actions will spur real, lasting change in a state that had become a haven for unlicensed boarding schools during the past few decades.
Robert Knodell, director of the Missouri Department of Social Services, said his agency embraces the partnership with Wayne County authorities.
“It’s not always been the case everywhere we’ve had these cases,” Knodell said. “Sometimes local law enforcement is cooperative, and sometimes they’re not. … The ability to address ongoing issues is much greater when there’s full cooperation across the spectrum.”
The Star began investigating Missouri’s unlicensed boarding schools and abuse allegations at Circle of Hope Girls Ranch and Agape Boarding School — located in southwest Missouri’s Cedar County and now closed —in late summer of 2020. Former students at those schools said they had told local authorities for years about the abuse, but nothing ever happened.
Those who attended Lighthouse Christian Academy, most of whom were there before Finch became sheriff, said they hoped to draw attention to the school years ago by posting testimonials on social media. They urged families online to not send their kids there, but the pleas never gained much traction.
Until Finch started investigating.
“We’ve never had anyone pull so hard for us,” said Michael McCarthy, who attended Lighthouse Christian Academy from August 2010 to August 2012. “It feels surreal because we had tried. It’s almost like why now? … It’s almost hard to believe.”
Child advocates have also been surprised by the actions in Wayne County.
“It’s a complete 180 from what we experienced when the schools in Cedar County were revealed,” said Jessica Seitz, executive director of the Missouri Network Against Child Abuse, formerly known as Missouri KidsFirst. “The response of seeking out justice and believing kids is exactly what we would hope for.
“Law enforcement is one of the parties responsible for protecting kids from abuse.”
Concerns of conflict had surrounded the investigation at Agape Boarding School in Cedar County because the son-in-law of the late founder, James Clemensen, was a deputy with the sheriff’s department. That deputy, a former Agape student, had also worked at the school for years and on multiple occasions was sent there to respond to a call, The Star found.
When asked what motivates him in Wayne County, Finch, 62, pauses and speaks slowly.
“Because they’re victims,” the sheriff says, his voice breaking before he apologizes for getting emotional. “Because they were mistreated and because it happened in my county.
“I feel like my department let these kids down, although it wasn’t me. … They deserve better than what they got in the past. They deserve to have their story heard. And it’s just like any victim — they deserve their day in court.
“These kids, dammit, they deserve justice.”
‘Liable to freeze to death’
Finch’s cellphone rang late one frigid night in early February 2014. A call had just come in from ABM Ministries, a dispatcher told him.
A teen boy at the boarding school had run away and been gone 3 ½ hours.
The grandfather of five at the time, who had been sheriff for about a year, called in deputies and alerted the fire department. Search dogs were brought in. The frigid temperatures outside filled him and others with a rising sense of urgency.
“I got a kid out here, that’s run off, out in the middle of the woods and it’s subzero weather,” Finch said of what was going through his mind that night. “He didn’t have a coat. He didn’t have anything. We got to find this boy because he’s liable to freeze to death.”
The sheriff also alerted Union Pacific Railroad, telling officials they had a missing child and “to be on the lookout.” Finch worried the boy could be on the tracks between Piedmont and Williamsville and wanted to make sure the train wasn’t “going to come flying through.”
As the railroad crew moved slowly through the area and looked for the boy, so did Finch and all those he called to help with the search.
“I had search teams in the woods all over,” the sheriff said. “We were all over. Running the roads, running through the woods, looking in the woods.”
A couple of hours into the search, Union Pacific let the sheriff know that a crew had found the boy and was transporting him to a nearby crossing. Finch was waiting with an ambulance.
The sheriff lifted the teen, who was wearing pajamas and a fleece jacket, off the train. He didn’t have any socks on and had lost his flip flops they wore at the school. He had used his jacket to wave down the train, the sheriff said.
“His feet were, in all reality, black,” Finch said. “And the skin had peeled off of them from frostbite.”
When the sheriff first encountered the young teen, he asked why he ran away. He just shook his head, the sheriff said.
“I’m assuming he was just so cold and disoriented that he didn’t talk,” Finch said.
He would try again later at the landing zone with a helicopter waiting, and as first responders tended to the teen’s injuries.
“I was trying to get him to say, ‘Why did you run away?’” Finch said. “‘Just don’t like it. Just don’t like it.’ That’s all he would say. ‘Just don’t like it.’”
The teen was airlifted to St. Louis Children’s Hospital where he was treated for severe frostbite, and according to a news article at the time, his family was told he would face a slow recovery. That article, in the Wayne County Journal Banner on Feb. 13, 2014, quoted the mother as saying she believed her son was mistreated at the school.
“She told the newspaper that her son said the physical and mental abuse was unbearable and that he felt running away was his only alternative,” the article stated.
The teen didn’t speak to the sheriff again. But his mother told a reporter that he had given a full report to the Missouri Department of Social Services.
The sheriff’s office also reported the incident to DSS, Finch said.
In the years since, other students at ABM Ministries have run. In 2017, the Wayne County Sheriff’s Department was called out again. Then again two years ago.
That’s when Finch started to look deeper and have unanswered questions.
“Something is going on here,” he said he thought about two years ago. “Something isn’t right. These kids, there is no reason for these kids to be running away. … But I had nothing to go on. I literally had nothing to go on.”
Until, he said, late January of this year.
Former students tell their stories
After Julianna Davis, of Alabama, heard about the boys who had run away from ABM Ministries earlier this year, she called the Missouri Highway Patrol.
For years, she and other former students had tried to let the public know about what they say they experienced at the school. Now, she thought, maybe someone in authority would listen.
At the southeast Missouri school, Davis said that she had been told not to trust law enforcement, that authorities wouldn’t believe her and other students because they were just troubled kids.
“We’ve tried this for 15 years plus,” she said. “I already kind of had the impression that nobody was gonna listen to us.”
But the patrol sergeant she spoke to did. And then he referred her to Finch.
Something Davis told the sheriff matched what a current student had told him. Because he doesn’t want to jeopardize the case, Finch won’t say what that is. But it did cause the dominos to fall and prompt the investigation that continues today.
“I knew that something had happened there,” he said. “I knew something illegal had happened to a child who was defenseless, who had been sent to this home for rehabilitation, so to speak, or whatever you want to call it. She was sent there by the parents to be helped.”
Davis also told Finch that Carmen Musgrave locked her in a room on her 18th birthday and she was kept at the school for months after. It was Davis’ experience that led to the kidnapping charges against the Musgraves.
“I’ve just been continuously impressed at how hard he’s trying to help,” Davis said of Finch. “But at the same time, surprised in the sense that like, we’ve tried this before, you know, and it just never got anywhere.”
After talking with Davis, the sheriff knew that more former students would reach out. He told dispatchers to expect a few. That grew to 10 or 15. Then 25 to 30.
“I got my 81st call this morning,” Finch said in early May. By the end of that month, he received another six or seven calls.
In-person interviews have lasted anywhere from minutes to hours, he said. A few of the former students attended the school in recent years, but the majority he’s talked with have been gone from ABM for 15 or so years.
“Now I know, looking back at the runaways that we had in the past, and doing this investigation, I now know why they didn’t say anything,” Finch said. “Because they were scared.
“It was instilled in them and drilled in their heads that unfortunately, I didn’t care about them, that they (boarding school leaders) have law enforcement in their back pocket. Well, that pocket has a big hole, and I slipped out of that pocket.”
The sheriff drove to Oklahoma in March to speak with Aralysa Baker, who went to ABM in 2005 when she was 13 and stayed for two years.
For seven hours, over two days, Baker told the sheriff what she was unable to tell an investigator who went to the school during her last year. Her great-grandparents had called Wayne County and asked authorities to do a welfare check. She told the officer she was OK because she feared what would happen if she said more.
Baker told Finch how her life had been impacted because of the school. The nightmares. The flashbacks. And the anxiety over food.
For all of her adult life, she’s feared that there wouldn’t be enough to eat. First, just for herself. And now that she’s a wife and mom, for her family.
While at ABM, she said the owners and staff used food as a punishment. When in trouble, she and other former students said staff would withhold food and sometimes they would go to bed hungry. Several students said they would have to sneak food or water at times.
Baker told the sheriff and The Star that she now hoards food. There are chips and cookies stashed behind her pots and pans. Stacks of canned goods, boxes of pasta, and macaroni and cheese in the garage. The trunk of an old Honda that doesn’t run is full of snacks.
“I always want something stashed away, squirreled away,” she said. “I need to be able to get to it quickly.”
Baker and Davis want people, especially lawmakers, to realize that Missouri must do more to keep abuse, both physical and mental, out of boarding schools in their state.
“I hope they take it seriously and change the laws to make it harder for people to abuse children and not have any consequences whatsoever,” Davis said. “And then, of course, I hope that there’s some sort of justice or closure for all of us. I have been hurt for so long. But I’ll be happy as long as it doesn’t happen again.”
‘They’re just being bull-headed’
Hours before Finch served the arrest warrants on the Musgraves, someone issued him a warning about the past.
Don’t forget about Heartland Christian Academy, he was told, a reference to a decades-old case that to this day haunts those who have tried to place regulations on religious-based boarding schools in Missouri.
Operated by the late millionaire Charles Sharpe, a prominent Republican who made his fortune after founding Kansas City-based Ozark National Life Insurance Co., the Christian school for troubled youth drew national attention in 2001. A call to the state hotline reported students were being forced to stand in ankle-to chest-deep cow manure as a punishment.
Several months later, after receiving two more allegations of abuse, authorities raided the northeast Missouri school and removed 115 children, prompting a series of lawsuits and challenges that took years to wind through the courts.
In the end, felony child abuse charges against five employees were either dropped or the staffers were acquitted. Sharpe and his school also were cleared of any wrongdoing and the state settled with Heartland, agreeing to pay extensive attorney fees and court costs.
Ever since, the Heartland case has cast a shadow over attempts to address concerns inside boarding schools — especially proposals that would require them to be licensed. A law passed in 1982 allows religious-based schools to claim an exemption from Missouri’s licensing requirement.
Randles, the Kansas City attorney who has represented the families of abused children, said the arguments against licensing don’t hold water.
“They’re just being bull-headed over this particular issue,” she said. “We’re not asking them to change their religious affiliation or to change the manner in which they teach their religion. As a matter of fact, I’m a graduate of Southwest Baptist University, and Southwest Baptist University is accredited, it’s licensed, it goes through all of the processes that are required.
“And it doesn’t change the way that Southwest Baptist University delivers its teaching. It’s still a faith-based Christian education university. It can be done.”
In response to abuse allegations at Cedar County schools, lawmakers passed legislation in 2021 to implement some oversight over religious boarding schools but shied away from requiring them to be licensed.
Boarding schools that are abusing children, Randles said, are not Christian institutions.
“That has nothing to do with Christianity,” she said. “And so there’s no reason that the state can’t act on these individuals who are acting well outside the law. Because they’re claiming and cloaking themselves under religious authority. There’s no religious authority that says you can beat children and make them eat their own vomit. There is nothing in the Bible that says anything of the sort.”
Carmen and Larry Musgrave moved their boarding school from the Tennessee and Kentucky area to Patterson in southeast Missouri in 2004, corporation records show. One former student said that the Musgraves loaded students into a blue 15-passenger van and drove them to the Show-Me State.
The Patterson site had previously been home to another controversial boarding school — Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy.
That school’s owners, Bob and Betty Wills, were running the Bethesda Home for Girls in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, when a former student sued Bethesda in federal court in 1982. Child welfare officials conducted an investigation, and the Willses closed the school in 1987 after a judge ordered authorities to remove students.
They headed to southeast Missouri and opened Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy. The school gained notoriety in 1996 when two students murdered another student because they feared he would reveal their plot to take over the school and escape.
In 2003, the school was sued in federal court by five former students and two sets of parents. They accused school officials of abusing and falsely imprisoning students. The school closed in 2004, and the Musgraves then opened Lighthouse Christian Academy on that property. Lighthouse later moved to its current location near Piedmont, and former students say they were forced to do much of the construction work.
Ginger Koller Joyner, the Wayne County prosecutor who formerly served as the Guardian Ad Litem for the 42nd Judicial Circuit, said seeing what’s happened at Lighthouse has convinced her that a licensing law is necessary to keep children safe in these schools.
“I think both my background in the juvenile system and this experience has strengthened my opinion that there really needs to be a legislative push to regulate these types of places to ensure that there’s uniformity and consistency of care across our state,” Joyner said. “I don’t think we want this anywhere in our state.”
The key, she said, will be for legislators to get involved.
“We can have every sheriff on board, we can have every prosecutor on board, but the bottom line is until we change the legislation about how these facilities are licensed, we’re not going to see the depth of change that’s needed to protect the vulnerable people,” she said.
DSS’ Knodell said he anticipates that Missouri lawmakers will “continue to consider whether they want to go down that road and take that approach.”
“Many other states have,” he said. “I think it’s time to take a close look at it. Absolutely.”
‘Trying to get them justice’
Before the runaways and subsequent investigation, Finch said he didn’t know much about other boarding schools in Missouri. He didn’t follow what happened across the state with Circle of Hope and Agape.
In his decade as sheriff, Finch’s department has called the state’s child abuse and neglect hotline multiple times, he said. And in January, after the runaways, several residents who live near ABM also reported the school. At least two of them said they were told they didn’t provide enough information to warrant an investigation.
After The Star reported that, Knodell said in March that DSS was looking into whether hotline calls about the school were properly handled over the years.
When asked the status of that internal inquiry and what, if anything, came of it, DSS said it was ongoing.
Finch hopes to eventually go to Jefferson City and talk with legislators and share his opinion that “every one of these schools should be licensed.” But first, he said he needs to remain focused on the case in his county.
The sheriff often meets with Joyner, the county prosecutor, to make sure the two are on the same page. He keeps her updated after new interviews with former students.
Joyner praised Finch for his dedication in making sure former students have the opportunity to report what they say happened to them. And she shares that motivation.
“Our law enforcement is committed, I am committed,” said Joyner, who first filled in as the county prosecutor in 2021 and took office in early 2023. “I realized that some of these students aren’t necessarily residents of our county, but they were in our county and we’re dedicated to protecting them and trying to get them justice.”
Many of the students who have come forward alleging physical and emotional abuse attended the school years ago, and their cases may no longer be inside Missouri’s statute of limitations.
“The prosecution piece is going to be, in some cases, difficult,” Joyner said. “That doesn’t mean that we’re not going to try, but you know, I have to abide by the ethics in terms of what I can prosecute. And if I can prosecute it, and believe that I can prove it, then I absolutely will.”
Early last month, Finch was preparing for another week of travel, driving to several states in his Ford F-150 to interview more former students of ABM.
“I’m headed for Colorado Springs, Vail, Colorado,” he told The Star. “And then I’m going to shoot up into Montana, Wyoming (and) come back across into Nebraska, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois and there’s one other one that I’m gonna hit.”
All while he’s in the middle of running for reelection.
On that trip early last month, Finch stopped in a Chicago suburb and interviewed Inesa Kolberg, who attended ABM from late 2005 to June 2007.
“He gave one of the best hugs,” she said. “His hug was so tight, and it was just full of compassion. I didn’t cry during the interview, but (at the end) it brought me to tears because it felt so comforting.
“He has a heart of gold. He is doing God’s work. He is a true example of what a Christian is.”
Finch said what fuels him on the long days and long weeks is knowing that for so long students at ABM were told they couldn’t trust law enforcement, that he and his department were on the school’s side.
“I’m going to tell you something — that’s not me,” the sheriff said. “I don’t give a damn who you are or what your last name is. If you break the law, you break the law and I’m going to come after you.
“Now, in the end, it’s up to the jury and the system. But I am going to do my job. And I am going to bring these people to justice for these kids.”
Laura Bauer, Judy L. Thomas, The Kansas City Star on Jun 9, 2024
submitted by John-Sedgewick-Hyde to troubledteens [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 00:59 Few_Antelope_6034 AITA for saying no to my partners proposal?

Just starting with "throwaway" and "on a phone"
My (37f) partner (41m) have been together for 7 years. We have 4 children (8f, 6f, 2f, 1m).
We used to have a very romantic and close relationship, but over roughly the last 5 years it's basically rolled into a situationship with kids. We both work, both look after all the kids and the house. And ourselves is very much a bottom level bothering.
I used to try to do weekly dates at home after our first child and was basically always greeted with "can't we just eat and chill in bed ?"
So I tried to do "family" nights with the kids to bed early and us two together, and that kinda worked. Alot more cuddling and touching and stuff.
But over the last 2-3 years, that's dropped. I will say it's not just him. I don't try as much anymore either.
Our youngest is as nursery now, and I work 9-2. He works 8-5. I do do the majority of the housework (laundry, food general cleaning), but he does do stuff.
I just feel I have to say all this because I've lurked on AITA enough to know that people are instantly against men for "not doing enough," and that very much isn't the case
I've just felt, since we've had our son, that our life has become stale.
So, long story short, on Friday, we did our night routine and put the kids to bed. Sat next to each other on our phones with the TV as back ground noise and he turns to me. Scrabbled at his pocket and pulled out a box, and said, "Will you be my wife?"
And I unfortunately didn't hesitate and said "no". I do wish I at least thought about it, but it was out of my mouth instantly.
He just put the ring box on the table and kissed me and said, "That's okay, I love you. Goodnight" and went to bed
The way he looked does still break my heart
I love him so much. But right now, we just feel like feel like roommates who have sex and raise children.
I wouldn't be asking here, but his sister was over yesterday and said (not a direct quote, but basically what she said) "he loves you and your response was cruel and you have to fix his broken heart from your response"
The real knife in the side was a message from his brother around 15 minutes ago saying "shit just put him to the street with yo uncaring ass lol he should find himself a woman that gives a fuck about him coz you proper don't haha go bend your knees and say your sorry"
I did explain to him that with how we are right now, it's not very relationship-ish. And that it's not just on him, but me also. We've fallen into a funk
But with his siblings' response in feeling so bad. Genuinely feeling like I should apologise and accept the proposal
AITA?
Edit:: predictive didn't do me as well as I hoped so I edited some grammar with my phones help
submitted by Few_Antelope_6034 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 00:43 TinkerbelleThee I need to know. Trigger Warning For Some.

I have been hesitant about writing this out. I've battled with myself long enough. I would appreciate other opinions and advice on it. Excuse me if this is long and triggers anyone. God bless anyone that takes the time to read it. Looking at my previous writings on Reddit, or even my profile picture you'll find out I am an expecting mother and my baby father recently died. He died Easter Sunday. March 31st. This is my first child. She is due in 10 weeks. My baby father's death was ruled as suicide due to the audio and video surveillance. He walked into the middle of a highway and laid there begging to be hit by a car. He was hit. Pedestrian Car Accident. His family blamed me for his death because we argued before he died. He came home from celebrating his mother's birthday party and was intoxicated. We began to argue over several issues. The fact that I waited to cook myself food. The fact that he was drunk. The fact that girls were dancing on him. The fact that men still were interested in me knowing I'm carrying his child. All very childish issues. Things I look back at now and just wish I would've ignored. He had a history of putting his hands on me and a history of getting drunk. He threw me against a refrigerator that night. I texted his mom letting her know that we were physical and she needed to pick him up before I called the police. She stated she wasn't coming. Fast forward, I tried to leave. I packed a bag. We fought all of the way into the parking lot. We were both bleeding. All of this was the night he died and I was only 19 weeks pregnant. I was accused of setting up his death. I was not included in his obituary but a photo of the baby ultrasound was. I was kicked out of the apartment we shared by his grandmother although my name was on the lease. I was told that if I went back to the apartment his cousins would be there with guns. All of this I've tried ignoring. I am now 29 weeks. I've been dealing with my emotions and dealing with the fact that I will never hear his voice again all on my own. I am still madly in love with him. I wish he was here for our daughter. His mother blocked me and I blocked her immediately after his passing and now she's asking about me and claiming she wants to buy things for the baby and be in the waiting room while her grandchild is born. My intention is to deliver alone. Nobody has addressed the disrespect displayed and aimed at me and to just ask randomly really hurt my feelings. I believe in the saying, "if you don't like the mother, you don't like the child". When her son was alive, she was very supportive of our relationship. I almost called her a friend. But now we're at odds. I want to know am I the cause of his suicide... He asked me to keep this baby... He was intoxicated when we argued but he said so many things to me that I really believe something happened at that party. I want to know would I be selfish to keep my daughter away from his family after the way they've treated me... I want to know what to do in 10 weeks when she comes... I miss my baby father. I love him so much still. I just want to be the best mom and do the right thing... I don't care that we fought.. the abuse doesn't matter anymore... It never did...
submitted by TinkerbelleThee to Advice [link] [comments]


http://activeproperty.pl/