My LO is 19 weeks and we’re starting to think about sleep training.
For nights he usually goes down pretty easy we do bottle, a little play, prayers, book and down awake. He’ll fuss for a few and he’s out!
It’s what follows afterwards…. On a good night he’s up one or two times.so he’d wake at 12 and 4. Lately it’s been more, it’s like he has two bad nights and then a good one which is hard on the body when you’re breastfeeding.
I’ve watched him self settle to sleep after waking sometimes which is why I’m confused. But other times he’s waking at 10,12,4,6 like every two hours. His longest stretch of sleep usually is not the first one- it’s the one after midnight if he gives us a long stretch at all.
Schedule is awake between 7:30/8 and then his naps typically go 1.75/2/2.5/2/2 and lights out by 8:15-8:45 depending on the length of his naps and when the last one ends. Naps he needs more assistance getting to sleep and I usually let him get drowsy in the swing but he falls asleep in his crib alone.
He is a lousy napper most days and sometimes gives me an hour and a half but it’s usually 30-50 minutes long which is why he’s doing 4 naps.
Any insight to the wakings? He seems hungry but I feed him every two hours during the day and top him up before bed at night.
Would sleep training help? How would you even handle it for night wakings only when his initial falling asleep is fine?
We have a few vacations this summer and I’d like to do this before we go and while we’re home for a few weeks beforehand.

Hey lads !
I’m healer main and last couple of days I’m considering to try out SP. I’m aware that it might be even bigger suffering than healing Shuffle but I think I’ll give it a shot anyway.
As I’m reading Void Elf racial and passives , it sounds really good to me and probably even better than Night Elf.
Just some reminder and my thoughts.
Spatial Rift: Tear a rift in space. Reactivate this ability to teleport through the rift. 30 yd range. 3 min cooldown. - this sounds good as SP lacks mobility , but tbh I ain’t sure how it works in arena.
Racial Passives: Chill of Night: Reduces Shadow damage taken by 1%. - Only good against certain classes and probably not really helpful
Entropic Embrace increases damage and healing by 5% for 12 sec. It has a 33% proc chance with 60 seconds internal cooldown. - 33% proc is good and if that procs every minute I guess it might add up some damage and healing so you can benefit from both?
Ethereal Connection: Reduces the cost of Void Storage and Transmogrification by 50% - greatest benefit ofc because XMog is real meta (jk)
Preternatural Calm: Your spell casts are not delayed by taking damage - this is in my opinion greatest benefit from race. As SP is trained a lot , I’d say you can benefit a lot from it.
I understand that Shadowmeld is considered as really strong if not strongest PvP racial , but considering SP playstyle and the fact that it’s mostly punching-bag in lobby , can you really benefit from playing NE more than VE ?
Thank you all for your replies and thoughts !

First off I’m extremely sleep deprived and just need a little hope. The only time I feel semi functional is on my husbands days off when I can sleep in. Thankfully husband has been getting some weeks with three days off, this has helped but through the work week there are some days I majorly struggle. I think it has even affected my mental health at this point. My baby has some good nights.
We have moved my husband in the other room and tried to have baby sleep with him. And he cries for so long and the cry gets worse and I always give up and get him. I can’t stand to hear him cry and also my husband needs his sleep because he is up very early and works a long hard shift.
As soon as I take baby back he is back to sleep within seconds. Now I’m left believing I just have to wait this out until he grows out of it.
But when will he grow out of it? He is 15 months. I need some hope it will be soon or what else can I do?

I've this classmate who I'm friends with. We're not extremely close, but we're in the same group of friends. Let's call her S. S is a really selfless person who can be kinda shy sometimes. She's extremely sensitive and when she's stressed or overwhelmed she can snap.
I met this girl last year, along with other girl I'll call M. M is a really carefree girl. She can be oblivious and honestly just a really chill person. M doesn't take things too personal, unlike S, who can think you're mad at her just by talking with someone else.
So I met this two girls and it was pretty clear that S was way too attached to M. They've known each other as much as I've known them, but still, S is always so affected by whatever M does.
As I said, M is a pretty chil person so she doesn't even notice this behavior from S. Some stuff S does are:
-Asking M to keep secrets, but then make painfully obvious to the rest of the group that there's a secret.
-Turn conversation of 4-5 people into a private coversation of her and M.
-Talk to me and the others when she thinks M is mad a her (Just because M is talking someone else)
-One of the last things she did was pass a paper between her and M with me literally in the middle.
I never really cared about this as I have other friends, but it was still a problem we all knew. The worst part? This attachment is totally one sided as M was completely oblivous and she even considers S just a classmate.
This new year rolls in and my best friend left our school. I was really thinking about this thing S has of excluding others, but I decided that I just needed to speak with new people. So there's this new guy "L" who happens to like the same author as me. We dont talk much, just exchange words, messages and just one proper conversation of around 20 minutes.
I first texted him, but a few days later we spoke during break time. Our conversation ended when I felt someone PULLING FROM MY HAIR for me to get up (I hate being pulled by my hair) and it's S, who then asked me what I was talking about with L. I explained and didn't think much of it.
But since then she started with this passive-aggressive comments like "Don't go with that guy or I'll get jealous", but always in a joking manner.
Then during a music class, we're all around the piano. Suddenly, S started to pull from my shirt with nervous laughter asking me to "take her out of there" M and I laughed and help her get out, but without understand much. We got worried when S started crying.
After a long back and forth where she wouldn't tell us what's going on, she finally said that she and L exchanged glances, he politely smiled at him and she smiled back in a weird way.
Yeah, that's it. She got nervous and was embarrased because of her weird smile.
When asked why she smiled like that she said "Because I didn't want to be cute, I wanted to be like OP".
Since then I started thinking about everything and got weirded out. I texted a friend and told them everything, they told me that she probably liked L. I though the same, but wanted to let it go because she has a boyfriend.
The next day we're eating and S is looking down, I sat down beside her and she told me "Go with your friend, L. You're replacing me with him. That's why I'm mad" I laughed awkwardly and ignored her.
A few days later I met with my best friend and told her everything, we walked to M's place and told her everything too. Since the attachment to her jealousy. Needless to say, we were all weirded out.
Here's where I found out from M that S texts her A LOT every day till M replies (Neither of us is really active on social media except for S who answers messages quickly). She also told me about a dream S had and where she basically told M, that she though I was mad and distant (I was).
Everyone agress that me and L barely talk, and even if we did talk a lot, it shouldn't matter to her.
Since then I've been talking less with her. A few days ago I ate lunch with someone else (no on purpose) and I think she got mad because today she didn't try to talk to me at all (good for me tbh) and when I went to eat, she avoided our table and only sat when I was away.
I don't think I'm the asshole, but this is so confusing.
A lot of people really like her and sometimes I can be impulsive. AITAH?

{2024-5-24 23:00 (UTC)}
(6 PM US Central Time)
Can start an hour later if needed, please list in application.
Player Count: 3-5
Run Time: Likely around 6-7 hours, Hard Cap of 11 Hours.
Communication: Discord Voice, Roll20 Tabletop Rolls
Game Style: Mirrorshades Shadows
Game Theme: Fun In The Sun
In-Game Location: Metropole
Prerequisites: Have read the Table Rules
Threat Level: Medium-High
IC

Hey, chummer. Got you a line on some work from a J from out of town. It’s going out of town too. Good pay for finding someone, and the J’s corp. His rep is clean, but you know how the corpos can be. Anyways, meet’s tonight, the guy’s insistent on getting a team fast. You in, omae?

And that call from your fixer or acquaintance who knows their way around the shadows is what got you out to this fancy restaurant downtown. Your J’s some French elf who just sitting there gives off the vibe of ‘militaristic’. And of course he’s got a bit of security scattered around eating and “eating”. Seems he reserved half the place tonight. So here you are in your probably fancy outfit, with a J ready to talk biz, and a menu full of good food. So how about it, omae, ready to make that cred?
OOC

• Please provide:
  
• A sheet link to wherever your character sheet is stored.
  
• A Discord name to ping you with in the OOC server.
  
• Your last run date and if you've had less than 5 runs in total on the Hub.
  
• Give me your character’s thoughts on the socioeconomic philosophies of the standard beach resort. This is required if you want to be picked.
  

Content Warnings:

• None apart from what's generally pretty standard for SR like violence and the like. The run will default be in a public listening channel.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to message me on Discord, my name in the OOC server is ChopperSniper

My host decided to cancel the reservation in the middle of the night because we messaged her about how we felt unsafe at the place. The door wouldn’t close nor would it lock. We could easily be broken in to. The way to the bathroom was up a hill with no lights leading it, and she also just finished building the “outdoor shower” just 2 days before our stay(it was near to impossible to even call a shower and more a poor imitation)
Because we expressed our concern she threatened to cancel our reservation despite us telling her we did not want to cancel it and were just letting her know for improvements in the future. She did not include photos of the entire property so we did not expect the bathroom to be up a hill, a hill that can barely be walked on. She then told us that we could instead stay after we kept telling her we did not want to cancel and that we drove over 10 hours for this stay(to which we did) and we got so relieved and sent her a thank you message. Three minutes later after the thank you message, we were notified that the reservation was cancelled. She messaged us the next day telling us that because of how we treated her(merely expressing our concerns) she thought we were not a good fit and decided to cancel the reservation leaving us stranded over 10 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere.
At the airbnb there was a guest book that she said to write our experience, so we wrote our experience and we believe that we did not damage it. Of course we wrote a negative review especially after our experience feeling that its justified to let other guests know. Now she is filing us for damages for what we wrote. We did not write anything other than our experience. She has been harrasing us for three days straight now, we finally were able to block her yesterday only to get a message of her saying we damaged the guest book. Can I appeal this?
Theres more to this and I have all the screenshots of our messages.

My work bestie’s birthday is coming up soon. It’s been a rough year, both personally and professionally for her. She recently had a heart attack (at 50) from constant stress, among other things, but doctors have repeatedly told her to lower her work stress. Typically my go-to gift is some form of alcohol, her favorite sandwich place gift card, and something punny. But, given her recent health issues, she’s trying to be healthier. I’d love some good ideas of unique teacher friend gifts. I love funny/punny things and she’s got a great sense of humor. Help this fellow teacher out, who is plum out of creativity, with 9 days left in the school year. Please 🙏

I made a post a few weeks ago about Eddie. Three years ago, I befriended “Eddie” on vacation. I liked him, and he liked me. He confided in the wrong people about his crush on me, and I found out. However, Eddie actually had a girlfriend, and cut contact with me. He was friends with mostly everyone else on social media except me. I never really got any closure or resolution around this situation. Eddie and I never spoke after the trip. So for years, I’ve always wondered about how he really felt about me.
Eddie and his girlfriend broke up two months later, but he never tried contacting me. I kind of suspected that he looked at my TikTok videos, but I also know that for months after, he wasn’t over his ex. This situation happened during the height of the pandemic, so while I knew it would be best to move on, I couldn’t. If this situation happened at any other time, I likely would’ve forgotten Eddie within a couple of weeks or months. But classes were online. I couldn’t meet anyone. For a good year, I had feelings for Eddie, but again, nothing ever came of it.
This past summer, I was heartbroken over another failed crush. I was just going through a lot in general, and I spent most of my days high on drugs. I posted TikTok videos about heartbreak and depression. Sometimes I’d post five TikToks in a night. Sometimes, I’d reupload these videos. I don’t know why. I guess I was bored. And while I still wondered about Eddie, I didn’t think he ever looked my social media.
Little did I know, Eddie saw me posting these videos online, and contacted our friends. He asked them to see if I was posting anything else on my Instagram, which is private. Nothing’s happened since then, but I’m wondering why Eddie cares. I don’t think Eddie is this evil sociopath or anything, but it’s not like he showed me any care or consideration back then when he actually hurt me. So why? Is this some misguided way of absolving himself of guilt?

Does anyone know of any good couples activities in the Lincoln/Omaha areas like cooking classes, wineries, etc? Since the weather is starting to get warm we’re looking for some more fun activities instead of watching TV or a movie all night, lol. Any suggestions are appreciated!

This is my best guess as to why she broke up with me. I'm less heart broken as I'm just confused and don't know why in the first place. We dated for about 4 months. It was a little bit of a long distance relationship, 1 hr drive one way. But we were/are both very busy with work, kids, and both of us going back to school. Our days are packed. Yet we manage to text and call each other everyday. As far as I knew, it worked out. We would talk for hours, we had to make up excuses to end our phone calls. The sex was phenomenal. We both have kids, a house, and a car. I'm a little better off than she is but not drastically. She lives in a nice house in a rough neighborhood, I live in a rough house in a nice neighborhood.
Now to some of the weirdness. Maybe it's just that stereotypical "men don't understand women". She liked that I made more and during our dating, I paid for everything. Even treated her to a few nice things she never got to experience. I cooked real nice meals. I cleaned up. I doted on her when she was stressed and offered massages, that usually led to sex. She admitted she wanted someone to take care of her. So I was trying to do just that. Yet during the phone call when I realized she was breaking up. She didn't like that I never grew up POOR. I did to an extent, but not broken down and condemned mobile home or living out of a car poor. She almost gave a notion that she wants to continue living like that even. Not that she does now, but that's was she desires. I know, it's weird.
She often talked about Texas and where/how she grew up. I told her I appreciate her southern Texas strong girl attitude. I found it endearing, I'd also like to one day see where she grew up. I loved when her texan accent came out. Yet some how that was contentious. I wasn't Texan myself and just would never understand. She said Texan men dress a certain way. Even asked me to do so. So I did and she liked it, so I made note to always dress like that in front of her.
We both agreed to hold off on introducing the kids to one another. I felt that was OK. Yet, all she talked about was her kids. I would chime in and yet she got defensive about it one time. Worried about potential ww3, I more or less mentioned "omg your son is 17, he would have to sign up for the draft." It was a concerned thought on my end. She didn't like it nonetheless but didn't seem overly upset, just said her kids are off limits I apologized and made a mental note of it. She would still talk about her kids all the time though, no worries I just minded saying certain things.
Even up to the end. One day we planned to meet. She was a little hesitant to get together. She was going through a rough patch with some personal things. I was understanding so I didn't press it. She mentioned a friend was going out, I told her I would like for her to be with friends at least and have a good time. Just call me so I know she gets home safely. Which she did, and we talked for a solid hour at like 1am. It was that conversation in which she subtly very subtly said I should continue dating and try to date other girls. That was the hint. She was just going to not date anymore, and I should see other people. I said "but why I don't need to date. I'm dating you" to be honest I can be dense as a brick sometimes.
A few days later we have the actual talk about what's going on and she said it plainly then, we're done. She complained about a whole bunch of things that she used to like about me. I was just confused. It mainly was about money matters.
Like I said though, she wanted to be spoiled and taken care of. Which I guess I could only do so much. I don't make enough to just make all her troubles go away. But I also don't make too little that I could just drop everything and move in with her. Nor could i attempt to do so. Im in a decent neighborhood with a good school for my kid. She liked where she lives and didn't want to entertain moving near me, she did have to think about moving out of her house sooner than later. Even looked at apartments around her area. Which I understood, her split parenting situation is she needs to live where she lives. She can't do another court battle at the moment. Nor can I. But also, if she is just not going to date. She made it sound like she doesn't have time. Welll, we weren't exactly spending a lot of time together. Just every other weekend we would either meet up at my house or her house. For all intents and purposes, it was casual at best. Yet, I brought that up, just keeping things casual and, nope, we are done.
Dude, I really don't know. I'm motivated, going to school, hitting the gym, she liked my muscles. She would awkwardly say "I like your face" I dressed how she wanted me to. I cooked and cleaned for us when necessary. Gave her massages and would pamper her however I could. I paid for our nights out. We didnt see each other a lot so it wasnt like i was constantly feeding her attention and being overly submissive to her. I literally just don't get it. These were all good things then out of the blue, they were not. I'm heart broken, yet Moreso just confused by it all. It's literally like she flipped a switch and decided no she is done.

Sorry for the quick tangent but the other night I was on my Xbox playing some games and got really bored and decided to boot up Star wars battlefront 2 for some nostalgia. As I'm playing a game I load up and I think "wow the music is really good" and then I hear a trumpet solo during a loading screen that just sounds great. I found the actual medley from the soundtrack but I wanted to ask if anyone had the sheet music for it because I would love to take a look at it. The song itself is" Across the Galaxy (part 1) by Gordy Haab and the trumpet solo happens at about 5:30ish. Thanks!
Edit: yeah I messed up the title thanks to the guy who caught it 👍

Want to start this out with saying my friend has not called me an asshole or has visibly shunned me for this but it’s kind of eating away at my head . My good buddy is graduating this summer and I had told him months before I’d go and had this whole plan for the weekend. During these past couple months I have been going through some life changes and the month of may is my last hoorah before I’m on a different schedule and super busy. So I had booked a trip to see my brother, which I won’t see him for almost a year since we will work opposite schedules. I completely spaced on my buddies graduation. And this weekend turned out to work for both of us(me and my brother). I do not leave til Saturday afternoon, so my buddy said I should come up on Friday and spend the night which I said that I was down for that. As time passed I really thought about it and realized it was a 2 hours each way and I would scrambling back for the airport the next day and I just don’t want to be a pile of shit for a trip I’m super excited for. I shot him a call and let him know what I was thinking and he said he understood but just wanted to make sure I’m not being a dick in this situation? the part where I might be the asshole in his eyes would he cancelling on just hanging out Friday with him cause he told me drunk that it would really matter to him and would hurt if I didn’t come, but I hate to be selfish, this time of my life matters to me as I’m going through my biggest change as well, and I am going to see him many times during the summer, I don’t want to ruin my last trip for a while being hungover or super tired.
Thank you.

Not extremely long relationship. She told me after a long talk (around 3hours ) that she wants to break up. She tryed to accuse me of things to make it easier for her , she wanted to end it with "hate" but I managed to calm her a bit and made her speak her mind normally . We politely talked and both of us ended the communication in a mature way. I asked her if this means : " no more sending pics,no more sending videos,no more texts from now on, right ? " She said "yes, cause that way it will be best for both of us " . I said "Okey, than that's how it will be. One more thing . If there is a very severy problem and you don't have anyone to talk to , don't hesitate , call me . " She knew I felt kinda hurt, that I loved her a lot and I will not be probably able to sleep that night and before the last goodbyes , she asked me for a picture to see me and she also sent one. I have sent a picture of my sad face and she sent a picture of her eyes being kinda red and puffy (probably she cryed before sending it or just wanted to make me think she did) .
Fast forward less than 48 hours. I was outside with my friends . Walking and talking ,trying to think about anything else than what happened less than 48 hours before. SMS pops up on my phone. (We never talked via SMS Messages - Using different apps to talk ) .
Message : "What is up with you? 🥺 You don't give any signs of life" (translated from another language)
This happened yesterday. I did not replied.
If we said that we will not talk,not send messages and not send pics then why now after less than 2 days this message popped up ?

Hello everyone! I’ve created a board of resources for AP Physics 1. You can use it to review specific topics, find worksheets, flashcards, and much more. Here is the link: https://padlet.com/jacobemilheldt/ap-physics-1-learning-path-tyf666qilcb4lmke. Please leave your feedback by messaging me or liking specific resources. I hope this helps. Good luck on your exam!

Hi ya'll! You've all been so helpful and kind to me while I'm trying to navigate this diagnosis journey. I have another question if anyone is willing to answer.
I am so god damned tired. Like, it's an exhaustion I feel in my bones. I know I'm struggling with my (previously diagnosed) depression, and I am taking steps to try and minimize the effects of my mental health issues. But, besides that, I'm just so tired all the time. I have struggled with insomnia for my entire life, and at 17 I was put on trazodone to treat it and it almost always works perfectly for me. But somehow, even with me taking my full dose every night, practicing good sleep hygiene and trying to stick to light exercise, I just can't ever escape this brain fog and exhaustion.
I've noticed that my focus is so much worse, and it's not great for work. My supervisors are thankfully very understanding, it just kind of sucks to be so forgetful and spacey. At home, I practically do nothing and I struggle with basic house chores for full days that I used to power through within an hour or so. I'm sleeping more than ever and I just wake up tired. My husband is a really amazing man, and while he works 45-60 hour weeks, he does his fair share at home as well, and has recently been picking up my slack. I feel so bad about it, even though he's told me it's fine.
My question to you is, how in the world do you deal with it? I mean, just walking at a brisk pace tuckers me out so bad, how do you find the energy to do anything? Am I missing something, some food or supplement? I've cut out a lot of food due to pain flaring up, maybe I need to cut more? I allow myself 16 oz a day of coffee, I'm 23 and I've had at least a cup a day since 11 so I can't give it up. Other than that, I'm not super caffeinated, and I'm wary to start chugging caffeine all day because I do have an anxiety disorder and I would like to avoid the negative affects it has on my pain levels as well. Ya'll, please help a girl out...

Hello everyone! I’ve created a board of resources for AP Physics 1. You can use it to review specific topics, find worksheets, flashcards, and much more. Here is the link: https://padlet.com/jacobemilheldt/ap-physics-1-learning-path-tyf666qilcb4lmke. Please leave your feedback by messaging me or liking specific resources. I hope this helps. Good luck on your exam!

My mom passed away in April and I’m really trying to make sense of it. I’d never seen her sick a day in my life, unless you count her sensitive stomach and treatment for high blood pressure. Then she was gone as soon as we got her a proper diagnosis. It sounds like Mesenteric Ischemia is very easy to miss, and I was frantically looking for posts about it while she was in the hospital. So I thought I’d share this.
Mom started getting sick around Thanksgiving. By mid-December it was bad enough that she could not travel for Christmas. She thought she had a stomach virus and said she didn’t have the energy to pack or drive and didn’t trust her stomach for a 3 hour drive. She started eating smaller meals to manage the virus.
Mid-February was her first ER visit. She was admitted & stayed 2 nights. Diagnosis was severe dehydration. Her white blood cell count was high, liver and kidneys ‘wacky’. She was nauseated, lethargic, foggy brain. CT examined her head, “every organ”. They did an ultrasound and told her it was not an organ. She was eating full meals by the time she was released.
One of the doctors at the ER asked her why she was there. He really treated her as though she was overreacting, and likely made her hesitate to seek care any more urgently, despite her decline.
After release she was told her blood sugar levels were high. She was diagnosed with hypokalemia (low potassium). She started working on a pre-diabetic diet but remained nauseated.
Mid-March a CT scan showed hiatal hernia and infection of some kind. She was dehydrated again. She hired someone for at-home IV treatments. She was drinking bone broth and drinks with electrolytes. A stool sample showed good results & her dr scheduled more blood tests. She had lost 25-30 lbs by this point.
Her dr scheduled an upper GI and colonoscopy for May 1st to look for ulcers, hernia. Blood test confirmed elevated white blood cells are caused by an infection and they’ve ruled out cancer.
April 1 – Dr told her she had stomach ulcers. After colonoscopy and endoscopy the dr is worried about blood flow to stomach. After a CT scan, she is referred to a vascular surgeon. They will do an ultrasound and consultation.
April 9 – Biopsies from colonoscopy are clear. Dr diagnosed clogged arteries around the stomach. Mesenteric Ischemia diagnosis. Scheduled an appointment to insert stents or look to bypass surgery.
April 10 – Admitted to ER for failure to thrive. TPN set up for nutrition. Plan is to build up her strength for the surgery.
April 13 – Dr ordered Xray to check for a possible bowel obstruction, lactic acid test to look for dead tissue / sepsis, hemoglobin test to check for internal bleeding. Mom has upper GI pain & cannot control her bowels. Very weak, unable to get up & down from bed on her own.
April 14 – Bowel obstruction found, ordering another x ray before deciding how to proceed. Backing off meals but keeping TPN, in order to let her stomach rest. (she was barely touching her food at all). Since bloodwork looks ok they think it could resolve itself.
April 15 – Dr says vitals are good, sugar levels are good. Surgery delayed, not because she is too weak but because she seems better. (I think this info was relayed to me wrong). They assured us waiting will not cause permanent damage to organs or tissue. Blood flow “looks better” and they “aren’t even sure it’s a blockage” now. Mom was able to do PT and OT but was extremely weak after. Surgeon impressed with cognition.
April 16 – Mom was in a lot of pain, and they thought it was from the PT & OT exertion. CT scan came back once again confirming the bowel obstruction. Intestines are dilated. Keeping TPN, antibiotics added to IV. Ordered another CT scan & fasting (other than TPN). Blood pressure was up & down all day. Feet swelling for the first time. Abdomen expanding to a degree my cousin noticed from her bedside.
April 17 –In the middle of the night she became unresponsive. Dr found her stomach full of blood. Her esophagus tore where it meets her stomach due to weak tissue. Her stomach was full of blood. She’s too weak for stents or bypass and will not regain strength without that. Dr thinks at this point her body is infected from bowel perforations & cannot heal

Little backstory on me - I love drinking. I am a bar closer, and a drinker at home. Love sitting at home, gaming with a beer or two or three or a 12 pack. After a relatively recent morning waking up after a night out with the guys, i couldn't remember how I got home or ever leaving the bar. It freaked me out. It freaked my wife out. I have a 9 month old son, and something after this recent time just got me thinking about what would happen with my family if i killed someone or myself driving home drunk.
So i decided it was time to relax a bit. I am not one who can just drink sociably or pace myself. If im drinking, im DRINKING.
So I had my first night out with my wife and friends after being sober for a whole week and let me tell you, I had a horrible time.
I have had a drinking problem for a few years, and I have tried to get sober a few times but any time alcohol is offered to me I break down and take it. This time, I had a long talk with my wife about wanting to finally stay sober and told her to keep my ass in check.
A few times during this night out my wife could see that I was ready to cave in a few times when someone offered me a shot or a beer and I would just look at her and she would give me that look like "don’t you dare". We ended up being the first people to leave the bar at about 10:30, and for a bar closer like myself, that was so early.
I wasn’t having a good time, I was visibly just annoyed with everyone and clearly just not doing well. Having to answer the question of "yo bro where is your drink??" "you want a drink??" every five minutes was excruciating.
I remember being so mad at my wife for keeping me in check that night even though I requested it. But its been a few days and I couldn’t be more thankful to have someone like her around me who is willing to not drink during this time and help me with this problem.
I'm feeling a bit shaky and nauseas but after saying no to drinks for an entire night for the first time ever, I really feel like I can do this.
Tl;Dr had my first night out with no drinks, my wife is a real G and is very supportive. She is helping out so much. Couldn’t be luckier.
Here's to 7 days and hopefully more

Overview:

I'm looking for someone to go through this site and make a spreadsheet including all of the companies, their careers page, and if possible, narrowed down for remote US jobs. For example, I took this site and added it to the spreadsheet like this.
The idea is that I should be able to go through and click the links, getting right to the careers page for US remote jobs really quickly.

Requirements:

• You can live anywhere, though if you're not physically in the US in the US, a VPN is necessary (I suggest this free one, if you don't have one), so you'll be digitally in the US.
• Have your own working computer and Internet
• Communicate via Slack
• Have access to Google Sheets
• Deadline is 2 weeks after hire. This can be changed for the right person. The actual hours that you work are flexible.
• Good internet searching skills
• Excellent English reading skills (native/near native) to allow you to navigate the sites
• Include otter in your message
• So-so English writing skills, to fill out the spreadsheet and make notes
• Attention to detail

Payment:

Per sub rules, I'll pay upfront if I have less karma than you, and I'll pay after you complete the work if you have less karma than me. We'll check in to ensure everything is going well at the 10% and 50% marks.

Next steps:

Please comment on this post, and send me a chat after doing so. In your chat, tell me:

• your bid for the whole project (no per hour or per entry bids)
• how you'd like to be paid
• if a two week deadline works for you
• what methods of payment you can accept
• any experience you have with internet research and data entry
• any questions
• before sending a chat, ensure that you have read the post fully, as attention to detail is very important for this gig

~First~
Not Exactly Hidden
The sound of old bones creaking is the result of him finally sitting down and straightening a little. He twists his cane around and gently presses the head into the torso of the woman that just tried to sneak up on him. “Really now, we don’t have that kind of relationship, you can talk to me like a normal person.”
“I understand Daiju-San, I just want to inform you that I’m going to watch your conversation.” Madam Stepanova says as she forces away his cane with surprising force. Or perhaps not so surprising, she’s been out into the wider galaxy once already, it would not surprise him in the slightest if she was already doing something to restore herself the vigour and power of her youth.
“I doubt your old boyfriend is going to be where my grandson has ended up. No doubt he’s stirring up trouble in that very British way of his.” Koga Daiju, father of Koga Daigo, grandfather of Koga Daiki and Koga Daini remarks and his cane is pushed back into him with enough force to slide him down the plush leather of the couch somewhat. He pulls his cane back and she sits down next to him.
“Do you remember when we were both assigned to stop the deviant?” She asks and he chuckles.
“Yes. To be honest I knew he was hiding among the sumo-wrestlers I just figured it would be impossible for him not to get thrown out by the larger men. I had a lot of... how do you say it? Egg on my face? Yes, a lot of egg on my face when I learned that day how quickly he makes friends.”
“So it was your fault.”
“Yours as well, you could have told me the man could charm anyone.”
“There was a language barrier a mile wide and a cultural barrier at least twice it’s size! It shouldn’t have been possible!” Madam Stepanova says before growling. “Not that he didn’t pull that sort of nonsense off on the regular. We didn’t speak much afterwards, but I understand you received additional orders to let him go?”
“He uncovered a source of corruption and quite literally cut it out while fighting off the effects of deliberately improper fugu. After that it was determined that he would either no longer be a problem, or was not a priority problem any longer as he was departing and there was quite the mess he had revealed.” Daiju says before turning a pointed look to Madam Stepanova. “Of course, it’s not like YOU weren’t a massive problem to deal with as well. While I understand that weapon smugglers dealing with certain cults in our country were indeed an issue for us both, random buildings imploding with the dissected corpses of your enemies inside lead to quite a few sleepless nights.”
“Oh, you mean like what you gave my division when high ranking administrators were panicking at the sight of their own shadows, insistent that they were being stared at through them?”
“I fail to see how Gaijin superstitions are my fault.” Daiju notes with a warm smile.
“And I fail to see how the poor building practices of your country are mine.” Madam Stepanova replies primly. After about a minute they both smirk and look away.
“I’m going to call my grandson now. If you’re going to listen in, then I request a lack of commentary.”
“Since when have I been the type to give commentary?”
“Age, youth and I assume Axiom as well, all change people.”
“Like how you became a voyeur in your old age.”
“I simply lack a reason to avoid appreciating the lovelier side of things. Beauty is to be appreciated after all.” He says as he leans back a little and uses his cane to bang on a few buttons. A holographic interface shows itself and he spends about a minute slowly pecking at the long sequence of numbers for his boy. “Now then, mind your manners Madam.”
His teasing only earns a light scoffing before the screen lights up. Daiju moves quickly to make sure he adjusts his glasses at the exact same time Daiki does. His grandson pauses and so does he. Moves to the side and Daiji mimics the movement. Including several more shifts until Daiki holds up a hand and there is fire within it.
“Still learning to do that.”
“Grandfather! You’re alive!”
“Yes, when my time came I went to the western countries so I could challenge their reaper to go rather than chess. He wasn’t too practised with it, so I bought enough time to escape.” Daiju says and Daiki raises a skeptical eyebrow.
“So I can expect you soon then?” Daiki asks.
“Sooner than you think.”
“That does not help.” Daiki replies.
“It’s all you need.” Daiju says with a fond smile before nodding. “Now, how is this village you’ve told me about?”
“Our population has ballooned lately. There are many children underfoot.”
“You scoundrel! Tell me everything!”
“Not like that!”
“And much of my interest is now gone.”
“Even if I tell you it involves a blood feud centuries old with two noble houses butchering each other down into poverty even as they interbreed and turn from merely murderers to kinslayers in the process?” Daiki asks and Madam Stepanova leans a little closer at that revelation. “Grandfather.”
“Yes?” Daiju asks.
“I will never call that evil creature grandmother.” Daiki states and Madam Stepenova cackles at that.
“Grandson! Surely you understand I have better taste than that!” Daiju protests.
“Yes, but I also know that at your age, senility can be a thing.” Daiki says in a regretful tone and Daiju puts a hand to his chest as if wounded.
“My own blood! Turning on me!”
“I am merely concerned for your health grandfather. If your mind is so far gone as to woo so wicked a witch then there is so very little I can do for you. Little more than perhaps a mercifully swift...” Daiki says solemnly and Madam Stepanova cackles again even as she stands up and leaves the room.
“Put the knife down young man, or I’ll find a way to thump you from here.” The very amused Daiju says and is met with the much younger version of his smile from Daiki. “She’s gone now, well done.”
“Thank you.” Daiki says. “Now as to what bloated the village, our mutual friend Vernon, on his sappy romantic way, stepped into the middle of a centuries old blood feud and things got interesting in a hurry. Many of the details can be skipped, but the Forest Kami decided that the feud was a foul thing and intervened. As I am bound to it as it is bound to me I became part of it, and now the children of both the Barlis and Harkul clans are living as one group here. Forced to intermingle.”
“That’s... that’s one way of doing it!” Daiju says after a moment of consideration.
“It gets better.”
“Please continue.”
“Part of the way the families made war with each other was taking advantage of how rare and valuable men are.”
“Kidnapping?”
“Indeed.”
“Oh! And it led to the interbreeding. Quite literally one family with two names and an increasingly pointless feud... Oh! Tell me that there were some members who were known by different names to both sides and they were forced to try and fight themselves.”
“Not quite that crazy. Just a lot of stupid. The children still get into fights with each other across Barlis and Harkul lines... or rather they try. The Forest is powerful and ever watching. Any attempt to hurt each other just fails.”
“Fails how?” Daiju asks and suddenly Daiki is a few inches to the left without moving. “Shunshin?”
“Something like that. It’s called woodwalking and since they’re in the woods, they’re subject to it.”
“Woodwalking?”
“Teleportation is well known the galaxy over. But woodwalking is unique. It cares not for distance, it cares not for energy. It’s sensation is unique to those that understand how to feel for it, and it always leads back to The Forest in some manner.”
“This feel for Axiom. Can you teach it? From this distance?”
“Oh? Has the master become the student?”
“In the end a Master is merely the best student. And this student always seeks to learn.” Daiju says fondly.
“Very well, everyone Undaunted had a basic guidance. But... get comfortable.”
“Already done.”
“Good. Then turn your eye inwards. You’re already IN the Axiom. It surrounds you, it has merged with you. With every part of your clothing, with the cane in your hands. Your skin, your hair, your bones and muscles and organs. All of it. The gravity returning distracted you with the sensation of your muscles needing to work again, but there is something new. Something that you’ve been fooled into thinking is normal. Something that feels old, but is new.” Daiki explains
“And it is nowhere specific?” Daiju asks.
“It is everywhere, in everything.”
“In everything...” Daiju notes as he closes his eyes and feels. “It responds to thought?”
“It does, words and gestures can help but are not needed.” Daiki says and Daiju nods before suddenly moving his arms in gestures. After the third there is a brief flicker of flame which he catches. He holds onto the fire and brings it in front of his face before gently blowing on it. The flames grow and dance within his hand as a smile crosses his face.
“I believe I have found it.” Daiju says as he has the fire shrink and then dance along the back of his knuckles.
“Well... damn.”
“Oh come now grandson. I’ve just told you that I’ve learned to learn. And I’ve spent three of your lifetimes learning how to better learn.” Daiju notes before he catches the tiny rolling fireball and crushes it into a wisp of smoke.
He then breathes a small tongue of flame into his hand and nods as it responds just as eagerly. “This will make setting things on fire much easier. Thank you grandson.”
“I’m still a little annoyed you had so easy a time with it. I needed to have someone directly hand me khutha to get it.” Daiki says.
“Well as they say, youth is wasted on the young.”
“And wisdom is lost on the old.”
“Hey now, no turning my smug superiority around like that. Respect your elders boy!”
“You’re not an elder out here grandfather. Oh no, outside of Cruel Space you’re an irresponsibly young parent who sired an equally irresponsibly young parent.” Daiki says wagging a finger at him. “For shame grandfather! Siring a family so young!”
“Young he calls it...” Daiju says with a very amused smile. “Well, if I’m such a bad influence then I’m sure you’d to chastise me in person.”
“Yes, get over to Serbow as quickly as possible you’re on Genin training duties.”
“Oh no! However will I survive teaching children how to move and think and observe their surroundings! To think of my own grandson turning one of my favourite things into a punishment! The deviousness of it all!” Daiju keeps his tone so devoid of sarcasm in his comment it actually loops around to being sarcastic again.
“That’s what you get. You will be placed in a mountain village hidden beneath the branches of a mighty forest, surrounded by snot nosed students on all sides, forced to eat freshly hunted game and harvested crops on the daily and made to show your secrets!”
“Oh no! Mercy please!” Daiju is no longer able to keep the amusement or sarcasm from his tone and both Koga devolve into a half snickering laugh.
“I missed you grandfather!”
“I missed you as well my boy!” Daiju replies with a bright and earnest smile. “I really did fear I wouldn’t get the chance to speak with you again.”
“I...”
“No no. Just listen.” Daiju says and Daiki quiets down. “Do not feel ashamed that you chose the stars. What you did was courageous and necessary, bold moves are required to find new and better things. There is no shame in that boldness. I am proud of you, as is your father and mother and sister. Our family is blessed to have so brave and dutiful a child.”
“Thank you.”
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way, back to the topic! I was worried I would never get the chance to speak with you again! It was strange that I always got on better with you than with your father or mother. Or my own siblings. Strange minds think alike do they not?”
“Oh they certainly do, especially when they hear the call of...” Daiki says before clasping his hands together in a mudra and smoke erupts around him. Daiju starts to laugh even as Daiki reveals he is now hanging from the ceiling. “Ninja!”
“I’ll show you the call of ninja boy!” Daiju says through the laughter.
“No call of Ninja. Not call of Ninja Boy.” Daiki ‘corrects’ him and there’s a huff from Daiju.
“Is that the level of humour you’re going for? Something that simple?”
“Simple is effective.” Daiki says. “Making things more complicated is just asking for trouble.”
“True, but speaking of complication how difficult is it to master that trick where the elderly reinforce themselves to be stronger?”
“Just will the power through yourself for a basic enhancement. It usually helps as practice to think about a great hero or champion you want to emulate. Batman is a popular pick when The Undaunted were just learning how to do so.”
“I see. So if I simply focus on how...” Daiju begins to ask before he suddenly sits up straighter and gives his cane an expert twirl. “Ah! I’m twenty five again! If you’ll excuse me, I need make an old woman pull out her hair in frustration.”
“Try not to blow up the ship grandfather.”
“I’ll get to an escape pod first, I assure you.”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes!”
~First~ Last

Credit to Blue for the wonderful cover art of Trilvri
Thank you to:
u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the Nature of Predators universe.
u/EdibleGojid, author of Dark Cuts, for proofreading.
EmClear, aspiring author, for proofreading
You, the reader, for your support. I love reading your comments.
Please consider reading the works of my proofreaders as they’re all authors of excellent stories and be sure to check the links below for more of my work and beautiful art from members of the community.
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Memory transcription subject: Sawvek, Junior Extermination Officer
Date [standardised human time]: October 5th, 2136
Hard foam presses uncomfortably up against delicate pressure points situated across the length of my entire body, building up to an unbearable ache that makes me shift and turn against the thin mattress pad. I yank at the rough old blanket I’d taken out of storage and clutch it even tighter around my body, trying to keep out the chill. The best racks, the ones near the heating vents, had already been claimed long before I’d decided to move into the Guild House’s Barracks and it doesn’t seem likely that the current occupants will be giving up their spots any time soon.
My mind is still racing from the events of last paw, replaying the scene over and over again in my dreams and in my head. The way my brother had looked at me… That look on his face when he’d seen the real me…
My paw gives a sympathetic throb in memory, still aching from where it had met the wall, but at least I had been able to wrap it up a bit and stop the bleeding. I feel like I should take it as a small miracle that it isn't broken. More medical bills are the last thing I need right now.
I turn about in the bunk once more, rolling around in vain to try and find a comfortable position that doesn’t seem to exist. Through a conscious act of will I try to empty my mind and sleep, but the very act of trying not to think about things only brings them bubbling back up to the surface of my thoughts. My heartbeat echoes in my ears, a damnable drumming sound brought about by the exertion of my own restless tossing and turning. Out in the hallway I can hear the muffled shuffling of feet and murmurs of conversation. The Guild Hall never sleeps, and it seems that neither would I this paw.
Electing to abandon the attempt as hopeless, I cut my rest claw short and get up, venturing out into the hallway. If I can’t sleep anyway then I might as well start my waking claw early, maybe get in a little exercise. It’s not so bad when it’s self-directed, almost fun in a way. If our family had the money to support it then maybe I could have been an athlete of some variety growing up. I had always possessed something of a natural physicality.
“Stop wasting time with worthless questions about what could have been, Killer.” The voice interjects, early and active today by the sound of it. “You’ll never amount to anything more than a wild predator kept on a leash.”
There’s nothing to do but sigh and carry on. It was right after all. This is it. This is my life now.
Making my way down the hallway towards the gym I find myself walking past a row of private offices assigned to some of the more veteran officers on staff. Most are empty at this claw, their occupants either asleep or off doing other work. One room in particular catches my attention though, the one belonging to our newest PRED Team Commander.
The door leading inside is open and ajar, seemingly forgotten in the midst of more pressing business and granting me a look inside. The entire room is a mess, papers and binders strewn about everywhere with official looking documents littering the floor. A map of the city decorates the otherwise unadorned and impersonal space. On its face it hosts a variety of multicoloured pins, all connecting seemingly arbitrary locations as well as photographs of people and places from the records department. The face of the former PRED Team Commander, Vrienna, looks out at me once again with the same cruel eyes that decorate the memorial wall. Beside her photo are another pair of eyes, a pair I recognise, but not one I would have expected to see here.
Trilvri, my brother’s creepy coworker, the one who’d brought him home the night he’d drunk himself into a stupor, stares out at me from the wall. He was younger in this photo, barely of age, if even that, and dressed in a regulation space corps flight suit, but I could still recognise him. Trilvri’s eyes appear somehow more lively than when I had met him in person, though it does nothing to improve his overall disposition, looking, as they are, as if behind them resides only hatred and a feral desire to kill and rend. Come to think of it, he had mentioned he used to be in the corps hadn’t he? ‘Used to’ being the operative word. When I’d asked he hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his time in the service…
Situated as he is next to Vrienna like that, their pitch-black wool and evil-looking eyes bear a striking resemblance. It was the exact same sort of predatory expression that bore into your soul, the kind that made me feel weak and exposed, the same kind that was worn by-
“What do you think you’re doing in my office?” A voice asks from behind, nonplussed, but with a casual depth of power and authority behind it that makes me freeze on the spot.
“Commander Glagrig, Sir!” I turn about on the spot, fixed at attention in the doorway as I stare up at the man himself. “I’m sorry to intrude. I noticed someone had forgotten to close the door so I was just going to secure it.”
“I see.” Glagrig doesn’t seem to believe a word of it, but neither does he seem inclined to press the issue. “At ease. Tell me, do you recognise the man in the photo there? Have you ever seen him before?”
“No, Commander.” I lie reflexively as I shift to a parade rest, not fully knowing why, but knowing that whatever is going on I want no part of it, for me or my brother. It’s only after the fact that it occurs to me that lying might be worse than telling the truth.
“How… regrettable.” The prestige officer says plainly and I can’t tell whether he believes me or not. “If you do ever catch sight of this individual, then be sure to let me know immediately.”
“Y-Yes, Commander.” I subconsciously swallow with apprehension, hoping that he doesn’t notice. I want nothing more than to run away as quickly as I can, but I haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Junior Officer Sawvek, was it?” Glagrig carries on, looking me up and down, dissecting me with his eyes. “You have quite the interesting record on file and Officer Intalran is quite adamant about your potential. Your simulator results speak for themselves, even if they are just simulations.”
“Thank you, Commander.” I can feel myself growing dizzy as I answer with uncertainty.
“Don’t thank me,” the all-consuming void in front of me replies with no hint of warmth, “just remember that your performance is under evaluation. It’s in my interests to keep note of promising young aspirants who might someday join my team, and I would hate to see you squander your talents.”
“I-I understand, Commander.” I flick my tail in agreement, straining not to look away towards the floor.
“Dismissed.” Glagrig brushes past me as he enters his office, moving to shut the door behind himself.
“Um, Commander?” I ask just before the door shuts, feeling a beckoning call of curiosity that even the predatory prestige exterminator couldn’t crush. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why do you have all that stuff up on the wall there?”
The door opens again, just a crack, and I can feel my superiors' weighty presence bearing down on me, almost suffocating in its intensity. “It’s simply a personal matter. I have reason to believe that the prior investigation regarding the kelach incident was conducted according to… insufficient standards. The predator responsible was never found and I intend to remedy that deficiency.”
“How hard could it be to find a kelach?” I tilt my ears in confusion. “They're huge!”
“Despite initial reports,” he answers with an ominous, cold tone that sends a chill up my spine, “it may be possible that we're dealing with something far more dangerous than just a kelach.”
“T-Thank you, Commander.” I flick my tail in appreciation and the door closes.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the malevolent aura recedes. That was too close.
“And you’re a complete moron going back to ask him more questions afterwards, Killer.” The voice rises with amusement. “What? Do you want him to figure you out and turn you to cinders? Only a matter of time, Killer.”
“Ugh, shut up.” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning back around to make sure Commander Glagrig didn’t hear me, but when no reprisal comes I quickly depart. If I’m gonna be stupid I should at least try not to do so right in front of his office.
As the imminent threat of our in-house prestige exterminator dwindles so too does the energy driven by the adrenaline of the encounter. It figures that the moment I roll out of bed I want to take a nap again, but I know the moment I lie back down I’ll be back to full wakefulness in an instant. That’s just how that sort of thing works. With that in mind there’s really only one solution, a big, steaming hot cup of tea.
Making my way towards the tea machine I spot Jonsco, the feisty little primitive that mans our dispatch centre, smacking the top of the dispenser with a clenched paw while holding a mug underneath it.
“Is the tea machine fixed?” I ask as I pull out a mug from the cabinet myself.
Jonsco sighs heavily and shoots me a combative glare. “For the last time it’s not my brahking job to fix this damn tea machine! You got a problem with that then you can go pester someone else about it!”
I shrink back under the harsh rebuke. Jonsco may be small, but there was as much rage and fury condensed into that little package as anyone else in this department. Maybe more.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply…I just wanted to know if it was working again or not… Sorry.” I sputter out, feeling properly admonished as I look away towards the ground.
Jonsco looks at me quizzically, his hard glare softening somewhat as he seems to truly see me for the first time before returning to his usual scowl.
“Right…Whatever you say…” With one final smack the machine coughs and chokes, sputtering to life with a struggle, and a small trickle of freshly brewed tea begins to fill Jonsco’s cup. “The machine is on the fritz again as usual, but if you hit it just right, do a little percussive maintenance, then you can get it started again.”
“Thanks, Jonsco.” I lean back against the wall and watch as the mug slowly fills, impressed by the primitives know-how. “That's actually pretty smart of you.”
“For a ‘primitive’ right?” The words are barbed and spiteful, but lack his typical enthusiasm, more of a simple statement of fact than a real question. I couldn't exactly deny it, those had been my thoughts, and so the silence drags on awkwardly, marked only by the splash of tea falling into the steadily rising pool.
“What are you doing here at this claw anyway?” I eventually ask, dodging the question entirely. “We’ve still got at least another half-claw until our crew's shift is supposed to start.”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” The angry little dispatch operator retorts. “I'm here early working an overtime shift so I can afford to put food on my family's table. It's expensive feeding that many mouths. What's your excuse?”
“I had a fight with my brother…” I rub the back of my neck as I turn away abashedly, “moved out of the apartment and into the barracks full time… couldn't sleep…”
“Well then you should hurry up and work on patching things up with him.” Jonsco looks at me with an uncharacteristic hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Your family are the only ones who might actually care. This Gods-damned place is a slyther’s nest and no one here gives a speh about you or your problems. If you want my advice, you should do your best to spend as little time in this cesspool as possible.”
With his cup now full, Jobsco steps back from the machine and begins walking out towards the main hall.
“Thanks, Jonsco.” My words stop him in his tracks as he walks away from me. “I appreciate it.”
“... You're welcome.” He says after a short pause, glancing back to look at me one more time before leaving. “See you around, Sawvek.”
Taking advantage of the tea machine while it’s still mostly working, I fill up my own cup and drink deeply of the warm, fragrant beverage. The taste is bitter and unpleasant, just about the quality I would expect of this Guild Hall, but even at the first taste it’s evident that it’s been loaded with an extra strength dose of caffeine. I down the drink quickly and rinse out the cup before continuing on my journey towards the training hall. Fatigue begins to fall away as I walk, bit by bit as the drug makes its way into my bloodstream, blocking off sleep receptors and energising me. I know I’ll probably pay for it later, no amount of caffeine can actually replace sleep, but for now it feels good and I can see how some people can get addicted to the stuff.
A loud, metallic clanging emanates from the gym as I approach, something unexpected for this time of paw. No one's reserved space in the gym for this claw and not many people are industrious enough to sweat on their own initiative. Peeking my head inside the door I spy Bikim, the perfect, privileged, ‘holier than thou’ brahkass occupying the otherwise empty weight room. His irritatingly handsome face is taut with strain as he performs a series of weighted squats, his back and leg muscles straining underneath his short-cropped wool, and he pants heavily under the exertion.
I’m half tempted just to leave and go back to bed despite the fact that there’s no way I’d be getting any sleep with the tea running through my system. It’s too early in the paw to deal with Bikim’s speh. Before I can slip away unnoticed though, he spots me. I give a heavy sigh and continue my way inside. There's nothing to be done for it now. Trying to back out now would only make things worse later, a sign of weakness.
“What… Do you want… Predator?” Bikim asks between gulps of air as he reracks his weights, practically hanging off the bar to support himself on shaky legs.
“Good paw to you too, Bikim.” I say, forcing civility into my tone. “I’m here to use the equipment. Same as you. I'm allowed.”
“Whatever…” He eyes me with suspicion. “Just keep your distance… I don't want to catch any of your taint.”
“Believe me,” I flick my tail out in irritation, “I intend to.”
Looking around the room for available spots, I march my way over towards a cable machine on the opposite side of the room. Not nearly as far from Bikim as I would like, but the farthest I can get without leaving the weight area entirely. Bikim watches me all the while as I seat myself down and begin adjusting the machine. Eventually he grows tired of watching me fumble around with the machine and returns to his own exercises with a displeased flick of the tail, quite obviously judging me for my lack of experience with the equipment.
A tense sort of quiet settles over the room as we each go about our business, trying our best to ignore one another. Bikim slowly winds his way around the room, cycling from station to station to exercise all the different parts of his body in sequence before repeating it all again. He seems to bypass my corner of the room, glancing over at me with each repetition of his pattern. For myself, I stay put where I am, taking advantage of the varied exercises offered by the versatile machine to experiment with different muscle groups. Occasionally I slip up, dropping the weights with a loud clang that always draws Bikim’s ire. Every time he seems just a bit more disgruntled, a bit less patient. Eventually, the constant disruption reaches a tipping point and the pompous, self-entitled jerk walks over to confront me.
“Do you always do this?” He asks rhetorically. “If you keep slamming the weights like that you're gonna break it. Your form is speh so either fix it or lower the weight so you don't have to keep compensating. Better yet, just leave. You’ve been monopolising the cable machine for almost half a claw now. I don't know why you're even here in the first place.”
“Oh, look at Mr. Know-it-all thinking he can just go around telling us what to do, eh Killer?” The voice rises to the challenge. “Where does a guy like that who's been handed everything his whole life think he can get off with telling us how we should be doing anything?”
“Brahk off Bikim!” I don't even try to reign in the predator inside, feeling justified in letting it roam free for once. “I didn't ask for your advice and you don't get to kick me out of the weight room just because you can't wait your turn! I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go! Ever since Intalran dragged me into this stupid Guild this brahking job has taken over my entire life! I don't even have a home to go back to anymore!”
Bikim's body tenses at my tirade and his tail flicks out aggressively like a whip.
“That's your own damn fault, predator!” He shouts back, eager for the excuse to vent his own frustrations. “Maybe if you weren't just some blood-starved beast out roaming the streets then you wouldn't be here right now! I’ve read your file! You got a history of herdless behaviour and physical altercations! Someone should have institutionalised you a long time ago, but someone took pity on you and let you slip through the cracks because of your poor dying mommy! They should have known it would come back to bite them! A normal, functional member of the herd wouldn't even think to pick a flamer up off the ground and burn another person to death with it! But you? You did it instinctively! You revelled in it!”
“You think that was easy for me!” I get up and walk towards him as I yell incredulously. “You think I asked for that to happen! You think it was fun for me to get choked out and almost eaten! That thing I burned wasn't even a person anymore! It was a predator in the middle of a feeding frenzy! So yeah, I did what I did, and you know what? It's a good thing I did! If I wasn't a freak of nature then that thing would have kept on going and kept on killing! Last I checked, preventing that sorta thing was supposed to be your job, but I had to be the one to step up! Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions every paw, knowing that I’m a Protector-damned killer that doesn't belong anywhere! Maybe you, in your infinite wisdom, would've known the perfect thing to do in that situation, but I’m not you! I’ve had to work and struggle for every little thing I have! Not just had it handed to me on a silver platter!”
“Oh, so you got me all figured out do you?” Sarcasm drips from Bikim's mouth as he looks down on me. “You don't know me. You don't know my life or what I’ve been through, how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. You just see the end product from cycles of effort and assume that it's always been that way, that it's always been that easy. It hasn't.”
“Yes, I’m sure you had it so hard growing up Bikim.” Saying it aloud almost makes me laugh. “You’re such a child of privilege that it drips off of you with every move you make and every word you say. I hate people like you, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you were lucky enough to be born into wealth and status. Try living like the other side for a change, scrounging for every credit just so you can afford to eat, and then try to tell me how hard you had it with a full belly and a warm home!”
“You’re right, predator,” Bikim says contemptuously, “I am a child of privilege. My family has a long and decorated military tradition, my father is a captain for the space corps, a brahking hero, and I’ve reaped the benefits of that. That privilege came at a cost though, and that’s called expectations. Second best is not good enough and I've had to put in ten times the effort as anyone else my whole life just to meet standards! At least you grew up with a father who was there for you and loved you without the condition that everything you do is perfect!”
“All that talk about reading my file and you didn't even get past the first page did you?” I snap at him with a snarl. “ I didn't grow up with a father at all! He's been dead since I was in elementary school! Killed in action! I barely even remember him anymore!”
That one seems to give Bikim pause, but I’m not done yet.
“If you and your whole family are such a bunch of brahking heroes then how come you're here, working as a common garrison exterminator in a run-down backwater city like this?” I taunt. “Shouldn't you be out gallantly fighting the Arxur with one of the fleets or on a colony pacification force rather than making my life here harder than it already is?”
“That's the price for failing to meet expectations,” Bikim quiets down, drawing away from the world and into himself, “the price for knocking up a beautiful, wonderful girl right after graduation and refusing to get rid of it afterwards. You get cut off. You lose that privilege, and you do whatever you have to in order to provide and try to be a good role model for your son.”
Now that one threw me for a loop. In the short time I’ve known Bikim I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him, few of them good, but never would I have expected him to be the type to take responsibility… For anything. Still, there is one thing about his story that doesn't line up…
“Oh really?” I take a step back as I watch for his reaction closely. “I seem to recall Jonsco mentioned just the other day that your wife had left you for a Human.”
“Don't you bring that brahking primitive into this!” Bikim's anger flares in an instant before returning to a subtle simmer of regret. “We’ve just been having a… a rough patch in our relationship. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll win her back. She's just… confused and being taken advantage of! It's all that damn predators fault!” Bikim sighs and sits down on a nearby bench. “You're not the only one whose had something taken from them because of this job. You're not the only one without a home to go back to.”
Looking at Bikim now, a sad, pathetic man moping on the bench with nothing better to do on his rest claw than to try to externalise his inner pain… I find it hard to stay angry at him. He's still a narcissistic brahk ass and a complete jerk, but it's hard to truly hate someone when you actually know them. I had made quite a few assumptions about him when we first met, and he certainly hadn't helped my impression of him since, but… perhaps I was wrong to judge him so harshly?
“Nah,” the voice chortles, “he’s a piece of speh that got what he brahking deserves for being an insufferable prick.”
Overhead the intercom crackles to life and I can hear Jonsco's voice reverberating over the airwaves.
“Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment. Repeat. Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment.”
“Sounds like it's time for your first field assignment, Kid.” Bikim says, staring up at the intercom. “At least it gets you out of my wool. Try not to brahk it up and make the rest of us look bad.”
“Hmph.” I turn to leave, muttering to myself. “Stupid brahkass.”
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A/N - Hello! Sorry this one took a while. Like I mentioned before I got delayed working on my Ficnapping chapter as well as a crossover One-shot that's still in progress (but hopefully will be done soon). In other news we have new art of Sawvek's life-changing encounter in the Builder's Lane Bloodbath as drawn by Miglove and you can still find that and everything else Nature of Family in the new Master Post linked up above.
If you like the story then please remember to upvote, comment, and use the “!Subscribeme” function to be alerted to all new posts. I post as often as I can but real life has a tendency of getting in the way and my job makes it almost impossible to keep to any kind of schedule. Your engagement and support go a long way towards helping to keep me on track and motivated, so thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned for next chapter!