Quotes about talking negatively about people

Im 25 percent Mik’maq and my dad is 50 percent i looked into the requirements and it said something like you need to show you have a familial connection and that you are active in the community. Problem is that i don’t want to talk to my dad for a number of reasons one he’s a criminal who’s done a lot of horrible things and second he left me as a baby and I only saw him a few times as when I was 10 so I never got the chance to learn more about the culture only information I got was in elementary school when a presenter was speaking about Mik’maq culture and the people, I have no way of connecting to him even if I wanted to. I don’t know the steps I would have to take to get apart of a band or get status wondering if anyone here could give me some information

As a therapist, I often work with clients struggling with chronic habits like maladaptive daydreaming or dealing with unhealthy patterns in general. Today, I would like to talk about how bruxism progresses from mild teeth grinding to becoming a coping mechanism where you uncontrollably grind, clench, or gnash your teeth. While it may start as a temporary physical response to stress, for many this habit becomes deeply ingrained as a psychological coping mechanism. Let me explain how this progression happens.
Initial Trigger – Immediate Relief
In the beginning, teeth grinding is simply the jaw's way of releasing built-up tension when the mind enters a state of heightened anxiety or emotional distress. It's the body's attempt to discharge excessive mental strain through a physical outlet. At this stage, the grinding is an instinctive stress response, not a consciously developed habit.
Another common example to illustrate this process is nail biting. Similar to teeth grinding, nail biting often begins as a subconscious response to stress or anxiety. When faced with heightened emotions or tension, individuals may find themselves biting their nails as a way to alleviate the discomfort or distract themselves from their thoughts.
Subconscious Association
However, if that initial stress and inner turmoil remains unresolved, the mind starts ingraining teeth grinding as a familiar way to seek relief from emotional overwhelm. Your subconscious mind has found a behavior that temporarily numbs or distracts from the buried pain. So, it keeps turning to that coping mechanism of forcefully clenching the jaw whenever stressful triggers arise.
Think of it this way - the deeper part of your psyche convinces itself that grinding the teeth provides an escape from difficult thoughts and feelings. It's like your mind's overprotective friend who thinks restricting emotional vulnerability through jaw clenching will shield you from further hurt. Of course, logically we know this harmful habit only leads to physical pain and dental damage. But the subconscious has become attached to an irrational belief that this coping behavior is necessary for survival.
Reinforcement Loop
The habit is reinforced through repetition, creating a reinforcing loop where teeth grinding becomes the default coping strategy. With each stressful episode, teeth grinding gets more firmly hardwired as an automatic self-soothing response for your subconscious psyche. What began as a temporary physiological stress outlet morphs into a deeply ingrained psychological habit activated whenever you encounter anxiety, frustration or emotional discomfort. Your mind has now conditioned itself that teeth grinding is the way to find relief, even though it's counterproductively taking a toll on your oral health and overall wellbeing.
Conclusion
That's how the habit escalates to the point where it becomes uncontrollable. Despite repeated dental visits and awareness of the harm it causes, you may still find yourself unable to stop severe teeth grinding and clench.
On the bright side, this also means there's a solution. Recognizing that this damaging coping mechanism stems from unresolved emotional turmoil buried in the subconscious mind is the first step. Until those root traumas and negative inner beliefs are brought to light and reprocessed, your psyche will remain stuck in a self-defeating loop of using teeth grinding as a harmful but familiar means of self-preservation.
While dental guards can provide temporary physical protection, true healing requires exploration to unearth the original psychological wounds that turned a normal physiological response into a destructive long-term coping behavior.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with overcoming chronic teeth grinding and clenching habits for Improved Oral Health and Reduced Stress, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊. Disclaimer: I **am not a Dentist, but as a therapist specializing in offering support and guidance in addressing the psychological factors co**ntributing to bruxism.

Hello's, Hi's, and Many greetings to everyone! I hope everyone is having a good evening, afternoon or night wherever you maybe. I'm S.F. you can call me my name, once we get to know each other lol.
I am 22 years old, African American and I'm an introverted extrovert. Oh and I'm Bisexual!. Meaning, I'm pretty awkward when first meeting people, but eventually I become a crackhead in the best way once you get to know me! So a little about me, I am currently unemployed, but that's because I'm training to go to the Airforce! A few hobbies I have, I enjoy most things art related, drawing, writing, reading, singing out musicals. I also play video games and enjoy just relaxing.
I do have a few health issues, which i usually like sharing so people just know. I have really bad anemia, and cold urticaria (i get hives if I get too cold.) And I have a shellfish allergy. So no shellfish of any kind! But other than those, I'm mainly just a hyper, darked joked, cursing like a sailor and it's my second language, shorty whose looking to date someone with personality and is healthy. As I'm currently working out for the military, and trying to gain weight being that I'm only 96lbs atm. High ass metabolism. Lmao.
I suppose I should, set my boundaries? Or like, what I'm looking for in a guy or girl. Gotta be honest...accents do it for me. Country, Irish, British, Hispanic, Japanese, Etc. I enjoy accents haha. I don't have a height preference. I'm 5'4 lol. If your short, you become my short king. If your tall, your my skyscraper. It doesn't matter to me, haha. Uh, I gotta admit, I like a deep voice. Just nice to listen to. Now...with a woman, it's honestly the same. Although I'll be honest, I am...ten times shyier with a woman, cause yall are pretty and I cannot talk to a woman. (The struggles of being Bisexual) but I love accents, height doesn't matter to me. If you workout, or if your healthy, perfect.
But that's all I got tonight! I probably won't reply tonight, cause it's very early haha! But if you wanna chat, just send me a DM! Byeeee!

Summary During a eventfull evening with the Glenwood pack. Seer is chased by their mate Beth as pay back for them leaving her on the ladder alone. When things go wrong but may have a positive outcome Notes My first story so I'm not very good at this. I wrote this on Google docs. It's a fan fic/AU See the end of the work for more notes
Seer turns into a shifter
TW: Blood Violence I imagine myself as Seer in this story. Seer stands near the front door to the den during Thanks giving when they suddenly hear. Beth: "where is my mate" Seer dashes out the door and runs into the woods with wolf Beth right behind them. While in the trees Beth catches up and jumps on Seers back pinning them to the ground. She pushes her paws into Seers body nut since she's upset she uses too much of her strength and blood begins to gush out of their wound. Horrified Beth jumps off before frantically turning back. She begins to Shreak Beth: Claire Claire. Claire stands in her living room with Knight and Genieve thinking that its best to let Seer and Beth sort of their conflict. Geneve hears Beth screaming and smells Seers blood. She uses her Valp abilities to speed into the woods with Calire and Knight following. They run right into the woods and see Seer lying on the ground with Beth kneeling next to them her tears soaking the soil. Claire kneels down and examines Seers wound while Knight and Evie try to comfort Beth as she falls I to their arms. Knight: what happened. Beth tries to explain but her sobs get in the way. Evie: don't worry Beth Claire can heal them she's a mighty blood mage. It's going to be OK. Claire: they've lost a lot of blood she says hardly keeping her voice steady. Even if I heal them it might be too late. Evie: what if we give them a blood transfusion that would work. Knight: but then they'd be a shifter too like us. Claire: it should be their choice but it's not like we can ask. We can't use my blood I'll need my strength to make sure their body accepts the new blood Knight: use mine I can take it. I'm strong enough. And they'd do it for me. Beth shakes her head Use mine I'm the reason there in this mess and they're my mate. Claire agrees and she uses her magic to transfer some of Beth's blood into Seer Beth: OH God I hope this works. She sobs. W we c c can't lose anyone else she cries harder thinking about that night and all the blood that was spilled. Evie gently picks up Seer and carries them up stairs into one of the spare rooms and places them in a soft bed. Seer lies there fast asleep with Beth right next to them staring at them thinking replaying the accident over and over again. "All this because they didn't hold a ladder. And off corse they're going to blame themselves for this" Claire: it's not your fault Beth or theirs sometimes things happen that we can't control. All of a sudden there's the sound of loud footsteps charging up the stairs and Simon barges into the room. Simon: Knight told me what happened. Claire are they going to be ok. What can I do? Claire: they should be fine we've given them a blood transfusion so their going to be a shifter now. Can you go get some food and water for Beth she's going to need it after the blood she's lost. Simon nods and walks away down the stairs. And returns with food. Beth tries to eat but it's like chewing carpet. She continues to stare at Seers wound and their face. Along with Simeon. He feels fatherly love for Seer thinking back to the time he welcomed them into their pack and how he hugged them so tight he thought he had broken Seers rib. Simeon: people always look so young when they sleep. All the stress melts away. Especially for them since their visons make them worried alot. He Says Beth nods. Theyll shift before they wake up since their body is still getting used to its new blood you'll have to calm them down and explain honey. Claire finishes healing Seers wound and yawns. "I need to go to bed ill need my strength back incase anything goes wrong when Seer wakes up in the morning." Claire hugs Beth before walking out of the room with Simeon following The next day Seers body shifts into their wolf form and they begin the stir and suddenly wake and begin to thrash around and yelp with pain. Beth quickly moves foreword and pushes Seer back down onto the bed Beth: "ssssshhhhh beautiful it's OK it's OK. I'm here I'm here.” Seer starts to calm down and make snarling sounds of confusion. While trying to take deep breaths. They start to roll over and fall out of the bed onto the floor. Beth rubs their hand and pulls Seers head onto her lap. "Beautiful it's OK. You're not dreaming you're a shifter like me now. After last night we had to give you some of my blood since you lost too much. So now you're like me. You'll always be a shifter but don't worry you'll be able to turn onto your human form. After while. I'll reach you how once you get some of your strength back." Seer begins to look around the room. Beth knows Seer well enough that she knows they're looking for the others even through they can't talk as a wolf Beth: "the Claire Simeon Knight and Evie are here but they're keeping their distance since having too many people around might be overwhelming for you. " I I'm so sorry beautiful so so sorry" she begins to tear up again and Seer whimpers and rubs their head against her trying to calm her down and tell her it's not her fault. Beth takes a deep breath. And starts to calm herself. You know Isla is going to be jealous that you shifted before her. Says Simon walking onto the room and bending down to rub Seers muzzle. Beth: Simeon you're not supposed to be in here yet. You'll overwhelm them. Simeon: oh relax they're fine right he says looking at Swer who nods weakly and tries to smile despite having sharper teeth. Beth: that's right beautiful try to rest. Now. In a couple of days we'll gather the whole pack and go for a run. It'll be amazing gliding through the woods. I still remember the first time I ran as a wolf I felt so free and powerful. Seer and Beth both climb back into the bed together and fall onto a deep sleep holding eachother in a loving embrace.
The morning after
Chapter Summary Seer wakes up the morning after Thanksgiving and has to get used to their new form and abilities
Seers eyes flutter open. There still in their wolf form and look over and see human Beth snuggled up next to them. Feeling her warmth. They feel excited to know what's it's like for Beth when she shifts to comfort them in the night when their visons make their anxiety flaire up. Seer lifts up their head and sniffs the air through their nose. And they feel completely overwhelmed by the seats that are in the room from their own smell to Beth's to the cotton sheets and blanket and traces of Claire and Simeon. Their sudden movements wake up Beth who groans sleepily still tired from her sleepless night watching Seer. She gently reaches up and strokes Seers muzzle. Beth: “I know it's overwhelming but you'll get used to it with time. Try to breathe slowly” Seer sticks our their tounge between their teeth like a puppy dog and makes a big show of panting slowly. Beth is torn between being annoyed with her mates sarcasm and being glad they're in a good enough mode to be a smartass. She giggles. As they stare at eachother with the loving gaze they always use when they share a moment. Seer always knew that they would face any challenge for Beth regardless of its their visons or being a shifter. It is always worth it. Not that Seer minds being a shifter they're over the moon about it. And they think about all the things that they'll be able to do with their pack. Their family. Claire walks into the room then. She smiles seeing Beth and Seer together. Somethings never change she thinks to herself. Claire: “Glad to see you're well rested. Through now it's the middle of the night. The rest of the packs here. Through they're outside near the bonfire. They want to see you. You up for it? Beth looks over at Seer who nods excitedly before gently jumping off the bed careful not to scratch Beth with their claws or land on Claire. They stretch their muscles and shake their fur like a wet dog. Beth: “don't worry beautiful I'll brush you later. Before I teach you to change back. Seer wags their tail at Beth before they start to slowly walk out of the room still Abita unsure since their on four legs. They start to walk through the rooms door way. It's a tight squeeze. Beth: “suck it in Beatiful.” And giggles. Seer gets through the door and turns around tencing up their muscles to show off. Before they keep walking down the hallway. On the way to the stairs they walk past a mirror. They stop and walk back to stare at their reflection. They strike a pose. Thinking “oooooo hello” and they wink at their own image. Claire: “Come on Seer before I have Simeon Knight and Evie carry you down the stairs like a disobedient puppy.” Seer walks down the stairs carefully not wants to do wolf matrix move outtakes on the way down. They reach the bottom of the stairs and put their paws on the front door like a dog needing to go outside. Claire walks up and opens the door. Knowing the wind must have blown it shut. Seer walks to the front of the den with Beth at their side and Claire not far behind. They each feel the chilly air Travel up their bodied. The pack is waiting for them excitedly around the bonfire keeping warm. Simon stands up and walks over to Seer as they approach the fire rejoicing in the warmth it provides. Simon places a plate infront of Seer. Simon: “your first meal as a wolf my child.” Seer loves the taste especially now that their senses are stronger and they wolf it down while Simon pets them like a house pet. The rest of the pack continues to stare at Seer in awe of their new form. Isla runs up to Seer and hugs them. They bend down and hug them back as she seems to sink into Seers fur. The wind picks up blowing more of Isla scent into Seers nose and again they are overwhelmed by it along with the scents of the rest of the pack and the forest. Seer shakes their head to try and clear. Isla: Ooops sorry Seer I forgot it can be overwhelming. It'll be thr same for me when I first shift. Seer yelps excited to Isla and steps forward before giving her a huge lick across her face. Like a house dog. “Ewww” says Isla as Allen and Hazel laugh along with the rest of the pack. Tristan: “You should have seen that coming kid” he says before giggling. Isla: “has Ranger stuck a dog collar on you lately Triscuit” Beth: “Yeah Triscuit Kakis told me you need to stop getting caught out in the woods” Claire: “Speaking of the woods who wants to go for a run with me Seer and Beth tonight?” Hazel and Allen refuse since they want to stay with Isla since she needs to sleep. Ro and Tristan want to stay behind since they want to start working on some overalls for Seer. Simeon: I'll go. I want to be with my child on this special occasion. Claire: alright let's go change into our overalls. Me and Simon will go first. Beth: I'll stay with you beautiful until the others get back. You shouldn't be alone right now this is still alot for you. When Claire and Simeon get back I'll go get changed” Simeon and Claire walk away. Leaving Beth and Seer alone in the forest. Beth: you're doing so well beautiful. I'm so proud of you. And despite what happened I'm glad I can share such a big part of my life with you. I'm also glad that the others are happy as well. Through they already adored you. Seer wags their tail. And thinks “It's not just me who did well its also Claire she healed me and you for being so strong through everything you been through both before and now. You're so strong love plus you're hot headed and stubborn which also helps. Claire and Simeon walk back outside and Beth strokes Seer one more time before walking towards the den to change into her overalls.
Seers first run
Chapter Summary As a right of passage of being a shifter Seer now gets to run through the woods of the pack territory with their mate
After Claire Beth and Simeon shift into their wolf forms. Beth steps forward towards Seer and rubs her muzzle against them. Seer feels the warmth of her body and hot breath against their face as well as love. Despite them still not used to being in their wolf form it feels oddly right. Like now they belong Suddenly Seer hears a soft voice in their head. Which for a normal person would feel unusual but to them they feel oddly used to it since they hear voices when they have their visons. Beth: “Beautiful can you hear me? Seer nods their head looking at Beth. Remember that she once mentioned that shifters can speak to each other telepathy when they're in their wolf forms. Beth: “You can talk to me as well like this. But only when you direct your through towards me” Seer: “What about Claire and Simeon? She they alright?” Beth: “yeah their fine. They're just keeping quiet since they don't want to overwhelm you. Start moving forward when you're ready. You don't need to rush we're going at your pace. And we'll be right here with you. Now try and concentrate on your senses what you hear and smell.” Seer raises their head and takes a deep breath of the chilly night air. They are amazed at all the things they smell. From the animals hiding away in the night along with the smells of soil and decaying plants. They perk up their ears and the wilderness comes alive with sound. Like a musical of nature. They hear the steps of animals dashing along the ground to the rustle of leaves blowing in the cold wind to the sounds of night insects chirping away. Seer is amazing by all these new experiences and is awed at how much they missed back when they were only a human with their dull senses. Beth: “Amazing isn't it? So much order and chaos all mixed together in a wonderful display of nature and beauty. Just like you” Seer feels energy and power surging through their muscles and they take off running into the wilderness with Beth right next to them and Claire and Simeon behind them. The forest feels dense but it seems to part ways allowing them through like it's molding itself into a passage just for them. Seer feels amazing as they rush through trees still hearing the beauty of their surroundings and basking in the smell and sights that dance in their mind. Seer feels a new feeling. They feel free. They've let go of all the stresses of being human. From the endless work days to the mundane chooses that always demand attention. The wind rushes over their body as they move making them feel apart of the incredible environment around them. It feels like heaven as they continue to rush into the night.
Playtime as a wolf
Chapter Summary Seer plays in the woods with their pack mates
Trigger warning: Violence (not sure if wrestling counts but it's worth mentioning) The wolves comtinue runbingbthrough the forest the moonlight shimmering through the trees. Suddenly they arrive in a wide clearing. As if nature had opened itself up so that they could stand in the open. They stare up at the star filled sky the moonlight glistening in their wide eyes as they bask in the beauty of the universe. Seer: “Amazing isn't it. They say In awe still staring up transfixed. Beth: “Yes it is. But it still has nothing on you beautiful” she says softly and warmly stating at her make as the moonlight glistens off there Grey fur. Seer turns back to Beth and they look into eachothers eyes with the same wonder and love that they did on the night that Beth confessed her love and Seer returned her passion. Claire and Simeon walk up to the two love birds in furcoats. And stretch their bodies still filler with energy from their run. Claire: you want to wrestle Beth? Since we didn't get a change too earlier at thanks giving. She says excitedly eying up her pack mate. Beth: maybe another time. I don't feel up to. Suddenly she jumps at Claire catching her off guard and they begin to roll along the dirt covered ground Beth taking a early advantage. Simeon walks up to Seer slowly and calmly. Amusement in his eyes as he watches his girls battle it out. Seer: it feels different watching now. Like I'm apart of the action that makes sense. Simeon: Yeah. It's pretty fun. Plus it sometimes gives us a change to practice healing magic. He chuckles happily. You and I can go if you feel comfortable. Through it wouldn't be a fair fight since I'm bigger than you.” Seer: Even so I could still take you they say confidently. Alright on the count of three They square up in front of each other and Seer count one, two then they take a tip from Beth and jump on Simeon and they both begin to rustle together laughing the whole time. But it ends with Simeon on top of Seer his bigger form giving him a edge. Seer: Beth Claire help our dad is too heavy for me they say in a joking pleading voice. Claire and Beth both suddenly stop and fake glare at Simeon. Simeon: “ooooo scary” they say in a fake scared voice that trembles mockingly Claire: “How about you pick on someone your own size Simeon” she says confidently drawing herself up to full height and mockingly growling along with Beth. Simeon: “I'm still bigger than you” he says matter of factly stating the obvious. Beth: “Maybe but can you take all 3 of us?” Seer gets to their feet and quickly runs up next to Beth ready for round 2 with their dad. Simeon: “you'll have to catch me first he says sticking out his tounge and dashing out of the clearing with his 3 children in hot pursuit.
After run brushing
Chapter Summary Being in the woods has lead to Seer being covered in dirt and debris so Beth decides to give Seer a nice brushing session like they did after Beth's hunting trips
Simeon dashes out of the tree line and towards the den. With Seer, Claire and Beth on his tail. He dashes towards the den and up the wooden steps and through the front door. He shifts back into his human form his overalls overnight his muscular body. and smiles smugly at the wolves as they come in. Simeon: “I won sweeties” and laughs before wiping the sweat off his forehead. Genieve: “wow looks like you lot had some fun. Maybe next time me and Knight can come too.” Claire and Beth stop easily and they also shift back. But Seer being inexperienced in their new form their overalls also shifting back and covering their body. Beths design working well. Slides along the shinny wooden floor and smacks into the wall across the room. Beth: “Beautiful you alright” Seer nods happily and shakes their head to clear it. They're tail is wagging like crazy smacking onto the side of their body and they pant with their tounge hanging out. Claire: “looks like someone needs some help calming down. Luckily their is a way we can help you with that. Isn't there Beth?” she says looking at Swer and putting their head gently. Beth: “that's right. Now it's my turn to pamper you beautiful. Now I'm going to go get my brush then you can experience the pleasure of being groomed.” She says happily before walking away up the stairs them creaking as she climbs Simeon also walks away to take a shower and change out of his overalls. As he waks past Seer he gives them a large stroke on their back. “I'll never forget this night. You won't either. It was amazing my child. I love you” he continues walking. Claire keeps staring at Seer before the sound of footsteps from the next room pulls her gaze away as Ranger steps into the room. Dressed in comfy evening wear along with their signature Ranger hat. Seer notices that when Claire sees Ranger her grin widens. And they feel even happier for her. And make a note to tell Beth and Simeon about it later. Claire: “Hey there hotshot. I'm guessing Knight and Evie told you about recent events” she says in a warm voice a little louder than normal since she feels excited about the nights run. Ranger smiles back at Ranger. “Evie said that next time we should all go together.” he says excitedly loving the idea Claire: “how would you keep up with us?” Ranger: “easy I'd borrow your bike.” They laugh. Seer continues watching and listening they feel so happy that their relationship seems to be going strong. After all Claire deserves it and so does Ranger. Beth walks down the stairs carrying her fur brush having kept her overalls on since she's probably going to be covered in wolf hair from Seers brushing. Beth sits on the floor next to her mate. And pats her lap inviting Seer to lie their head their. “Beautiful this is going to feel lovely after all I enjoy it when you do it for me” She begins sliding the brush gently along Seers fur making a warm sound as it flides along. Seers eyes flutter as their skin is messaged by Beth's warm hands and brush. Lose hair begins coming free of Seers form. And sticking to the brush. Ranger steps forward wanting to help Beth clean the brush. But they also want to study how Beth brushes Seer taking mental notes for when they will do it for Claire. Ranger also reaches up and starts to scratch Seer behind their ears. Making a scratching sound and causing Seer to whine like a puppy. Beth “see beautiful feels lovely doesn't it. Plus now you're the puppy not me she teases.” Seer pays attention to what Beth says since she is always their first priority regardless of the situation. But they decide to ignore the teasing aspect wanting to instead to let them all enjoy the moment and the warm feelings it gives them.
Seer speaks with the vampire Celiene
Chapter Summary Having some self doubt Seer decides to visit an old friend of the pack. Celiene since her age gives her alot of wisdom
On a dark cloudless night Seer runs through the woods alone as a wolf their powerful hearing the sounds of owls and night insects. When they finally reached the edge of the woods they slide to a stop. Since he feels nervous about what they are about to do his ears perk up subconsciously listening for any sounds of danger despite knowing that there wouldn't be any and even if there was the vampire court would rush to his aid should it be needed. Seer starts to think over what they are going to say for the hundredth time that night. While they look over the Manor house warm light shining through it's windows the blackout curtains being opened after sun set. Seer knew that the curtains extended towards the ground leaving no chance of sunlight getting through. Seer shakes their head to clear it. And to pull themselves back to reality. They tended to space out alot even without their visons they change into their form. And their overalls slide onto their body. Before walking towards the manors front door. They stare at the door its polished wood glistening in the moon and star light. Seer thinks about if they shoud know or just walk in. Celiene knows they're visiting having requested a invite awhile ago plus celiene knows they're there since she can hear them. Seer opens the door quietly and walks in the door doesn't make a sound since it's so well made and maintained. Seer enters the living room. The walls are painted dark colors and a fire crackles all to make the room feel cozy and warm to make the courts visitors feel ease. “Hello my dear Oracle.” a warm comforting voice says from the top of a set of stairs. There stands the vampire Queen Celiene dressed in a lose comfortable shirt and worn jeans. Still looking lovely as she calmly walks down the stairs looking like a beautiful godess. At the bottom of the stairs Celiene gives Seer a gentle hug. “you look well my dear. But where is Bethany?” Asks Celiene “She's at the Den sleeping. She offered to come but I wanted to be alone tonight. Besides she needs to rest since she's been super busy with her seamstress work and hunting with the pack. She deserves a night off” Celiene gestures to some furniture and they walk together and sit down. On a pair of leather seats near a coffee table “can I offer you a drink? Coffee? tea? Water?” Seer just shakes their head wanting to get to the reason they visiting. “Celiene do you miss being human or want to be human again?” Asks Seer leaning foreward. Celiene thinks about it. She leans back in her chair and pondered the question. “Well my dear. I don't remember my human life so I can't miss what I don't know. As for being human…. It has both upsides and downsides just like being a vampire. I have all the time in the world to read and study whatever I want plus i have my court. But I do sometimes wish I could go for a walk in the sunlight and I do miss all the people I've lost over my lifetime. Why do you ask?” Seer considers what she said. Noting that she does have good points “well you didn't choose to be turned into a vampire and their is no way back for you. It seems unfair” Celiene nods “my dear Oracle life is unfair for everyone. You need to make the most of your life and the choices you make” Seer nods and sits back again. “I didn't choose to be a shifter but if I could I would have. But….. I keep wondering if I'm still human. It feels wonderful when I'm a wolf it feels right. Like I'm free. Maybe I'm losing my old self” Seer looks down solemnly “Celiene leans foreward and puts her hands on Seers shoulder. “in wolf or human form you're still you. Just I'm still me even if I was turned. I believe that it feels better for you as a wolf because it allows you to let go” Seer looks at her confused Celiene explains “when your in your wolf form you don't have to act human and and can wrestle and play without having to worry about people judging you since you're a wolf.” Seer thinks about Cewolfs's words and smiles nodding “I imagine me being a wolf makes me feel like I belong with my pack” says Seer their eyes softening as they think about happy memories with Beth and the others “Bethany loved you before you became a shifter along with the rest of the pack” says Celiene. “they are the best thing that ever happened to me. And so are you” says Seer. “Thank you Celiene. I'm finally at peace” “Why didn't you speak to Bethany about all this?” Asks Celine giving them a curious look. “I thought about it….. But she still feels bad about hurting me. No matter how many times I tell her that it isn't her fault. I don't want to make her feel worse. She's done so much for me” “And you've done alot for her and her pack.” Says Celiene cutting in “Claire told me about the warning you gave Bethany about the poacher traps. And about the fire at the ranger station. You've brought safety and love to you're pack” Seer brushes her off but concedes she once again has a point. Seer and Celiene relax again and talk together until Seer falls asleep. Celiene thinks about calling Beth but she chooses to let her rest.
Troubling vison and a cozy bed
Chapter Summary During the night Seer has a vison while they sleep with Beth but they decide not to give her ang details about it since they don't want to worry her more
Beth and Seer stand on the dens balcony together its the very early morning Seer having been woken up by a nightmare. Through they aren't sure yet if it's a vison or if it was a regular nightmare. Beth is concerned but Seer puts on a brave face determined to not let Beth get more worried. Seer shivers in the cold while they take a deep breath hoping the chilled air of the wilderness will help them relax. “Love you can go back to sleep if you want too.” Says Seer turning to stare into Beth's beautiful eyes. But Beth shakes her head “they might be your visons but we're in this together now and forever” she says before pulling Seer closer to her. Eventually faitage gets the better of them and they walk together back inside being quiet not to wake up the others while they sneak back upstairs to the room Claire has lent them after she insisted Seer stay near her while they get used to being a shifter and Beth having refused to leave her mates side. They climb into their bed and relax on the thick matress with their warm blankets feeling cozy. “Honey will you shift for me?” Seer asks remembering back when they were ill and she let them cuddle with her wolf form to help them rest and get better. Beth nods quietly and she turns into her wolf form. Her fur is even thicker now due to the winter. Beth looks af Seer and they cant tell shes amsing if they're going to shift aswell since they know their mate well enough that they can tell what shes thinking. “I'd perfer to stay human since we don't want to break the bed” they say thinking about the time Knight and Evie did it. Secretly Seer also stays human since they don't want to risk accidently telling Beth what their vison was about since if they're both wolves they can communicate through their minds and Seer isn't used to censoring their thoughts. The love wolves snuggle up to each other and Seer puts their head against Beth's furry chest while Beth wraps her paws around Seer. They both drift off to sleep. Seer feeling warm and cozy but still troubled about what they saw.
Seer goes feral
Chapter Summary Seer starts to let their emotions go to Claire about their visons and being a Oracle
Seer wakes up in their bed still lying next to Beth, their mate still sleeps peacefully beside them. Seer quietly slips out off bed and walks out if the room. They walk down the stairs and met Claire who just came back from her early morning run. “You alright Seer? You look exhausted” Seer looks at her. “I I don't know” Claire gestures towards the couch in the dens living room and they sit down together facing each other “when you're ready” says Claire. Seer nods takes a deep breath and begins “Sometimes I hate having visons. Especially of bad things happening its only a possibility but that's the problem. I'm never sure about what to do about it. if I should say something or not. Since trying to avoid something might cause it to happen. But if I say nothing then you're not ready. I keep going in circles. Plus I'm an oracle so I could be seeing things that aren't real or could be the past or present which means that its already too late to do anything. Seer shudders and Claire keeps looking at Seer with concern not wanting to interrupt I told you about the fire at the ranger station and all that did was result in Ranger getting hurt. But if I didn't tell you it could have been worse. Seer starts to cry “Seer you're not being fair to yourself. You've done alot for us. You told us about the poacher traps that saved us from getting hurt. We're still greatful for that. “B but what about Evie. I didn't see her getting turned and now she's stuck in a fate she didn't choose and Knight aswell. Seer starts to hyperventilate. “Seer you need to calm down. You're still a new shifter this is dangerous” says Claire but Seer can't calm themselves and they start to shift. They begin to snarl at Claire like a mad beast. “Simon”Claire says quietly. While she slowly steps away from the wolf knowing that Seer isn't themselves and if they're threatening Seer might see them as a threat. Simon walks in and steps between Seer and Claire. “Seer I know you're in there” says Simon in vain. Claire “we just need to wait for them to snap out of it” says Claire. Both she and Simon continue to slowly back away as Seer continues to snarl their spit falling from their mouth onto the floor Beth wakes up and hears snarling she comes to investigate but stops dead on the stairs seeing whats happening bellow “Beth come help Seer calm down seeing you might make them snap out of it” Beth slowly walks down the stairs and looks deeply into her mates eyes and sees an animal behind them. “Beautiful? You need to calm down. Everything is going to be ok” says Beth still staring at Seers eyes. “they're terrified about their visons and the future” says Claire still weary “Beautiful remember those classes I took? They were so we could talk about your visons without freaking out. Like we did when you called me to help you sleep. We can talk about this. You need to come back to me.” Seers eyes begin to clear and they seem to snap awake. They take deep breaths and turn back into their human form. Seer realizes what happened. And begins to sob falling towards their knees “I'm sorry love. I I could have hurt you” Beth rushes foreward and Seer falls into her arms sobing like crazy while Beth tries to soothe them reassuring them it wasn't their fault and that they didn't do anything.

I have tried therapy a number of times and despite really wanting it to work it hasn't clicked with me yet. A couple things get in the way--I have anxiety (one of the things I need to work on) which makes talking about complex and personal things really difficult for me even with people I'm comfortable with. I am always left feeling like I put in way more effort by just speaking than I ever get back from therapy sessions. I know some people find just venting therapeudic but for me I leave feeling worse from it, even though I could really use an outside perspective on things. I also struggle with verbalizing my thoughts and often when I am asked about specific things I just can't recall the details on command, it's like the memory file has been deleted and I am left with just the title. When I'm on my own and things come up unpromted I can think about them in detail for hours. I find myself thinking in depth about why I struggle with therapy and the way that my mind seems to work, but once I see a new therapist and intend to explain exactlly this to them I can't remember a single thing I had been thinking about. I don't know how to get myself out of this cycle and I have no idea if this is something that other people also experience.

(Long post, sorry. Tried to be detailed to get the best advice) My fiancé and I worked at the same Walgreens since the end of last year. Yesterday, 2 hours into our shift, we were called into the office separately to speak with loss prevention. The man talked to me first, telling me they had my fiancé and I on camera stealing a lot of merchandise several times. I kept denying it, telling him I didn’t know what he was talking about. I asked to see the cameras and the list of items he claimed we were stealing but he kept dodging it. He threatened to get police involved if I didn’t admit it. If I did, we can handle it internally. Here’s the thing, the things we took were 1506 items (AKA disposal items that were going to be thrown out) I know in the eyes of the company, that is theft. So I didn’t want the cops involved for that reason amongst other reasons such as the fact that we’re dealing with the death of my fiancé’s father right now and adding court dates on top of everything else we have to take care of like our late rent and bills because we have no clue what we’re doing is the last thing I want to do. I had brought up at one point if he was talking about the garbage bags of expired food and he explicitly said no, he was talking about merchandise we stuffed in large shopping bags and left with. I explained I bring in my own food and put them in bags at the end of the day because I can’t lock the doors with my hands full of stuff. Him and my store manager kept saying they saw us do it on days we didn’t bring stuff in (which is bogus, we bring stuff in every single day) and that we didn’t buy anything those days (also bogus, one of us buys at least a few things everyday) We wouldn’t let up, saying they’d call the cops and slap a felony charge on us since it was apparently $2000 worth of merchandise. He refused to tell me any specific item, he would say food, I’d ask what kind, and he would say “You know what food you guys carry right? You’ve been down the grocery aisle” which just made no sense. He would bring up items that made no sense at all such as printer paper (we don’t have a working printer), rolls of shopping bags (our bags don’t come in rolls, they’re folded in a box), shipper boxes, etc. I finally just said I stole something worth $5 because I was so fed up with it all. My fiancé is much less confrontational and though he too denied everything, eventually caved and said whatever to get them to let us leave. Neither of us were ever in this situation so we didn’t know what to say or ask for except for me asking for the proof. But we were so done with it and didn’t want to have the cops also on us when we have everything else to deal with. So we signed 2 papers, one of me agreeing to pay $5 for the one thing I “admitted to”, my fiancé $1600 of stuff he “admitted to”, and another paper of us admitting we stole. They took all the money from the safe and registers for our last paycheck, gave us a copy of what our paycheck was and that was it. No other copies of anything else. Not one word of saying that we were fired. Just asking for my key. My family says it was all very fishy and my sister found posts of other people going through similar things with Walgreens. Can anyone please tell me if there’s anything we can do? Or are we SOL because we signed? And do you think they can still try getting the cops involved even when they say they wouldn’t? Any advice is much appreciated!!

There’s this guy 31m who’s been chasing me 35 f for months that ive been trying to scare off. I told him I’m crazy told him all my red flags and told him I’m not looking to date.
He’s still calling and texting etc. After 3 months of what I thought was a plutonic thing he tells me he’s attracted to me. I believe it bc I think I’m hot! lol he’s pretty cute to me as well
I haven’t had sex in a year so I’m very honest w him when I say that I’m not looking to start something lightly and I’m not looking for one night. Anything like that with me is looking for trouble so feel free to stick to the vanillas you’ve been chasing bc I will stress you out if we get started. He is not deterred
So yes after 3 weeks of this second dance we finally hook up. It’s great! He feeds me bangs me sends me off happy.
We do it a lil bit more before I head off to vacation for a week. While on vacation it seems like a pretty chill connect with easy vibes.
Somewhere on vacation he sends me a text letting me know he’s going on a date on Friday.
Question- why tell me about the date if I’m not even around ?
I tell him ok and that he should go. I’m not a benchwarmer so he can do his thing without worrying about me. Take all the space you need. I don’t want to be in rotation.
Why does he call me a million times and tell me he wants me to be his girlfriend??? Tells me he’s not going on the date blah blah - I tell him he should go! He’s not 100% sure about wanting to focus on me he should def go!
I tell him it looks like he’s still shopping and he should do that bc he can’t do that and see me. I don’t want to sleep with a man who is sleeping with other people. Hes backed out of the date and ensures me he’s not sleeping with other people etc etc he wants to be w me
So I go see him when I return from vacation for a quick connect quick talk to get on the same page and if all good a lil play. My plan was to go home and reset post vacation after the quick drop. All is ok. We see each other briefly the next day as I needed some last min help.
After this- he calls and lets me know he needs space. Tbh I forgot about the date he told me about bc he said he wasn’t going but alas it was the day. I
I say sure! I get it! But can you do me a favor and leave me all the way alone so I can process my own stuff in peace?he agrees.
The next day I message asking to pick up a really fancy bottle I had left (thinking I would be back for it) I ask him to leave it on the porch by a specific time so I can take it to my event without any issue but he does not.
I gotta show up to get my shit. He’s holding it in his hand bc obviously he wanted to see me. I leave peacefully and decide later that I don’t like how this went and I’m done. He can have all the space.
Now he’s calling me all over again! Says he doesn’t want anything w me but every time I give him his space and ask for him not to call me he literally always calls me.
Why does a man that says he doesn’t want to see me or sleep with me keep calling me and wanting to make sure I’m happy with him? Why didn’t he just go date like he wanted when I agreed to give him space?
Am I triggering something by giving him what he asked for?? I feel like the more I gave him space the more torturous and drawn out this became

I have been an iron giant main since the game came out. At the peak of the game I was rank 37, 2nd best iron giant overall (waow). After a few weeks though, iron giant faced more and more nerfs, which felt terrible. Towards the end of the closed beta it felt impossible to play him because of how many infinite combos were constantly done on me.
I know everyone hates the current release but honestly, I love the iron giant changes. They completely changed how you combo out of his grab. The only negative change I can say is I really dislike how they made his up smash (grounded up normal?) Have less angles to send the projectile at. It's very easy for an opponent to just rush in because it is such a high arch. Despite this though, they made 1 MAJOR change. Neutral special has a lot more knockback than before. Why does this matter so much? Because it means when I neutral special out of a combo, it actually gets me out of the combo instead of instantly falling back into it. I get to play the game. This really makes me want to get highly ranked again. Whatever the ranking system will be, I swear I will be at least a top 10 iron giant. (Assuming they don't decide to nerf him to the ground again FOR NO REASON) anyways. Game pretty fun, I don't feel like I have to have a secondary now. Still def listen to what people are complaining about, make the game faster.

Ok, a bit ago I saw some people online talking about if quadrants were biologically inherent to trolls, and was shocked by the number of people who said they were. So here's this numbered list of why I don't think quadrants are biologically inherent.
TLDR, Humans are shown to develop quadrant based attraction as well. Plus, it makes much more sense thematically for trolls to be more similar to humans rather than having this one way where they actually function totally differently, especially considering how related troll romance and emotions are and how the emotional tendencies of trolls are treated narratively.

1. The first, and I think most convincing, reason that I really don’t think quadrants are biologically natural to the trolls is that in act 6, humans are clearly shown to also experience quadrant romance (Dave implies this and Karkat outright accuses John of his obvious black crush on Terezi here). What this means is that in the homestuck canon, it’s possible for socialization to lead to the quadrant-based romantic attraction. You don’t need the troll’s biology to experience it. Best case for the biology-supporters here is that trolls have whatever underlying biology that leads to quadrants and therefore don’t need any socialization, while humans lack the biology and therefore do need the socialization. But I don’t find that very convincing. Far more simply, troll quadrants are a fundamentally similar sort of romantic attraction that humans feel, and the specific intricacies of the quadrant system are a social construct. If quadrants were tied to biology, I don’t think humans would be able to experience them.
2. The troll romance system is incredibly closely linked with troll emotions, which are more uncontroversially socially constructed. According to Karkat (who might not be completely accurate but who at least can be trusted to reflect the societal conception of quadrants), the two primary emotions are hate and pity. Those are the emotions that are acceptable to feel and express in troll society. Given this, it’s hardly a wonder that the quadrant system would arise. If a troll feels strong romantic attraction towards someone, it is most acceptable to express that strong emotion through hate, leading to kismeses. The flushed quadrant is basically downplayed as just “nuanced pity,” and both the ashen and pale quadrants are introduced as primarily a method to stop wanton violence. Basically, trolls are emotionally really fucked up and that’s not really in doubt. Their romance system reflects and mirrors that really clearly. Which brings us to the third point.
3. Troll romance being socially constructed just thematically makes sense. Your takeaway from reading homestuck isn’t that “wow these trolls are such inherently awful and emotionally irresponsible people,” it’s that their society and upbringing is clearly super fucked up, leading to the violent emotional tendencies and such. And, as we already covered, these socially constructed emotional tendencies are linked to the romantic tendencies, implying that the romantic system similarly socially constructed. The experience of reading act 5 is being introduced to the trolls as being completely fucking insane, with crazy mannerisms, who are kind of impossible to empathize with. Then, as the chapter goes on, you learn that they’re basically just traumatized humans. You start to break down your beliefs that troll emotions and behavior are “like that” because of the trolls inherent nature, and it’s increasingly revealed that it’s due to the horrible structure of troll society and culture. Viewing trolls as inherently different from humans in this one way, romance, while at the same time realizing that they are basically just like us doesn’t work. It’s much cleaner to accept that their romance system is also a weird construction of their insane society.
4. To illustrate these last few points, let’s look at an example with Karkat. Karkat’s whole deal is that he tries to be violent like the rest of troll society and wants to be a threshecutioner, but clearly isn’t violent at heart (Even Vriska clearly isn’t. Per point 3, none of the trolls are). In the same way, Karkat cares a LOT about quadrants, but continues to vacillate and interact with people in ways that doesn’t fit neatly into quadrants. It’s more thematically interesting for Karkat to care about quadrants in the same way he cares about violence—it’s a social construction he’s been born into and wants to be a part of so bad because he’s so scared.
5. Ok, time for some more narrow points. Generally, I think quadrant vacillation implies that they’re not biologically “real,” and are basically just human romance. This point might be the most disagreeable but like, it’s not like troll romance is somehow COMPLETELY different from human romance. Love and hate being linked is a thing people talk about all the time, moirallegiance can easily be seen as just a different framing of best friend, etc. And trolls are switching between these modes of attraction all the time! To me, it seems very reasonable to conclude like they’re actually just facets of the same thing.
6. While I’m generally agnostic as to why quadrants exist, you can trace a lineage to lord english pretty easily. It’s uncontroversial that LE is responsible for the hyper-violent and uncaring nature of troll society, and as I argued in point 2, these emotional constructions in turn create the romantic construction of the quadrant system. It’s another harsh social norm on an authoritarian society. Romance based on hate or a need to prevent violence is very LE.

Anyway, maybe this discourse has all been hashed out years ago, idk. Also, it’s totally reasonable to still think that quadrants are totally biological! Quadrants are fun.

Hiiii I’m 15m and have always felt like I’m bi but lately I’m leaning more towards coming out as gay. Not sure how my friends would feel about it and my urges and my dad doesn’t like to talk about sexuality and stuff like that. If anyone wants to talk send me a chat. New here, thanks.

I'm 34 (f) and have had issues making friends all my life. I was very isolated and would worship a friend if I had one. Even now at this age I love to be nice and talk and give gifts to the person if they want to be my friend.i recently met with a online friend in person and we spent tbe weekend together. I thought we had fun but ever since they went home they barely talk to me. Is me being overly nice and giving creeping people out? I am just always so happy to have a friend I love to spoil them and make them happy. I'm afraid of being alone so I deal with one friend that I have known a long time being verbally abusive to me. They don't care about me at all and it's very clear but I always tell myself they will change. What am I doing wrong? I have issues socializing but i try my best.

Hello everybody.
If you are reading this, you might be in the same shoes as I am. This post is to put out my story on how one can do nothing but the best for their significant other, but in the end, it means nothing, and they end the relationship just when it looks like the future is bright. This is my story:
So my story begins in October of 2020. I was in a pit of depression and loneliness due to the lockdowns enforced during the virus. I was about a year after a breakup from a 2-year relationship. I decided to go onto a social media app and search for people to chat with and call et cetera because Covid was not fun. One day I got a notification that I had made a new friend on this app. This girl was beautiful, with a lovely smile, long hair, and bright blue eyes. We hit it off immediately and within 3 hours of talking, I got their Snapchat. Immediately we started calling and in no time we were calling for hours on end. It was great fun as we had a good few things in common. We called for about 2 weeks straight, and one day I asked them if they would be interested in going out with me. They had no problem with it as they were single and bored due to the lockdown. We hit it off immediately with the usual honeymoon phase in the early stages of a relationship. No arguments, no fights, no nothing. Only love and respect for one another. It wasn't until mid-November that we planned to meet up. I cycled out towards their house, it was about a 30-minute cycle, and to say I was nervous as hell is no understatement. When I arrived she came out to greet me, her father followed shortly after, I did get to meet her parents over Zoom which was enjoyable to speak to them before meeting them. Her father was a prison officer, and her mother was a nurse. Her father came out and regardless of the virus, we shook hands. My ex got her bike and we decided to cycle to the forest to go on a walk. We dropped the bikes off at her grandfather's shed and walked the rest. During the walk in the forest, we held hands for the first time, my palms were bucketing sweat but she didnt mind it. By the end of the walk, we went into her grandparent's house. Meeting her grandparents was lovely, they were so kind and generous, evening offering tea (if you couldn't tell this was an Irish household) to warm up after the walk. We finished up, cycled back towards her house, and at the end of it all, we hugged and said our goodbyes. It was sweet and very enjoyable.
That was the start of it all, 2 and a half years later it was all gone.
We did everything together, going to sleep while on the call, discussing movies and documentaries, talking about makeup, basically everything you could. I spent time with her siblings be it kicking a football or playing Mario Kart on the Wii. I helped her babysit her nieces on numerous occasions, even sleeping over while watching the little ones for hours. I was invited to a small holiday with her family to a lake in a nearby county. It was all perfect. All of her family and friends kept joking asking "When is the wedding?", That was how close they all thought we were. That is genuinely how close we were and how much in love we were in also. We rarely fought, only big thing that blew up was over other people on her Snapchat, one day she told me about her past and how there was another account she hadn't opened in ages. I opened it and had seen that many lads had been sending "pictures" to that account. I dealt with it swiftly and she thanked me for it. But one day I was on her phone when I saw this account, this person was sending questionable texts to them and I questioned what they were talking about, I read more into it and the other person had joked about s*x in a manner I would deem a little inappropriate to be sent to someone in a relationship, so I asked my ex if they could not text them regarding that topic. Of course, they said it was only a mess, but there were emojis and texts I didnt see as a joke. I swiftly asked them to stop texting this person as I didnt want them discussing that stuff with this person, of course when it came to "that" part of our relationship. Of course they said "I can he is a good friend". This argument came up twice more and I had enough. I asked my ex to just block them not in a demanding or controlling manner, but to relegate any sneaky actions (nothing occurred with this person anyway).
At one stage we had planned a holiday for the summer when I had finished my final exams, but this never happened as I had a good opportunity to play sports with a high-level club. We helped each other study and prepare for exams etc. When I finished my final exams I passed on all of my folders and study notes to help them and their younger brother prepare for the same exams (I still haven't got the folders back). But when I moved off to college she was upset, as she felt that it would be difficult to see each other, but I promised I would take every opportunity to see them or call them. I did that as much as I could up until I had my end-of-year exams. It was here when shit hit the fan.
On a late Tuesday I received a video call from my ex after a training session, they seemed distant and a little cold. They cut to the chase and said that we needed to break up. I asked why? Because I wasn't making enough of an effort to see them, and they were tired of waiting for me to text/call. There wasn't much I could do seeing as Monday-Friday I was in college until 5. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I had training at 6:30. On Mondays and Wednesdays I had Gym at 6. On Fridays, I dedicated myself to finishing off lab reports or studying for exams, and on Saturdays I had games. There wasn't much else I could do. I was heartbroken of course, and they said that we could still be friends after it all. I did ask if there was still a chance but they said not at the moment as they had exams.
Not too long after this Tuesday, I heard from one of her friends that she had done something bad, I asked what exactly happened and I was informed that she had met some lad in a different town. They kissed and held hands. My I and my ex were still talking and when I asked why they did it, their reason was "to not feel shit about the relationship". They later then admitted that they sent "pictures" to this same person. I could tell you now if I got my hands on this lad... Anyways, so eventually around March they wanted to go on a no-contact break to focus on their exams. Before this happened I rang them one Saturday when I was home and broke down, telling them that I was in disarray, losing them at the time was unbearable and I loved them with all my heart and my soul. I loved them for treating me like family and so much more. After I expressed all my feelings and thoughts they were visibly upset, but they said that this break would do me good and that whatever comes around after the exams I will be ready for it. I took it on the chin and accepted it. I told them I would be waiting for them come the end of the exams. I wished them the best of luck with the exams, and I told them I loved them one last time before we cut all contact.
It was after this that I fell into a horrible depression, I was all over the place and was struggling emotionally, physically, and mentally. My ex got wind of this and immediately contacted me to talk. I told them that I couldn't do the no-contact as I felt like I was losing a loved one. I told them straight up that it feels like they have passed away and no longer are part of my life. They told me if I wanted to meet up one day. I bounced at this opportunity to see them. I cycle out towards her house just like all the times I used to. I stopped halfway and they met me shortly afterwards. I was visibly upset and couldn't hold back tears, they saw me and came up and hugged me. I didn`t want to let go because in my head it might be the last time I ever get to hold them. I broke down telling them how much of a mess I was mentally and emotionally. We spoke and they said it'll be a short while until they would be back.
We finished up and just before leaving we did our little handshake again. I looked into her eyes one last time and all our memories flashed before me. I welled up as she was walking away. She waved as she drove past. The break would suit me, so I focused on myself during the break. I found a psychiatrist to talk to, I started finding new things to distract myself, and ultimately I focused on myself during it all. Fast forward to my birthday and I'm out on a night out with a few friends, I met with one of my friends who was dating a close friend of my ex. Ex came up with the topic and asked how are they doing, he told me that they had found someone new and might be in a new relationship. My heart sank to my ankles. I fell apart that night, and with alcohol in my system I was a complete MESS. I couldnt sleep that night. Upon hearing this news I knew that everything I had been told was a lie, as my friend had told me that my ex had started seeing this new guy around the start of April (around the time I fell into the depression above). That was some way to ruin your 20th birthday. That morning (around 5 am) I sent a long paragraph to her mother who I still had on my phone. I thanked them for the last 2.5 years, for accepting me into their family, loving me as a son, and trusting me to love and protect their daughter. I had admitted that I one day wished to marry their daughter wishing I could make her my wife. I broke down writing and sending the paragraph.
That was the last time I spoke to any of her family.
Almost a year after the breakup I received a notification on Snapchat, I checked and low and behold it's my ex. With it were the two following messages:
"Hi, so I'm probably the last person you want to be getting a request from or message from and I completely understand but I felt the need to reach out and I don't even know if you would add me back or reply but I wanted to apologize properly because I literally broke your heart and its been bugging me lately because it`s been over a year and I only realized now that it wasn't the best idea but at the time it felt like the only way to do it. I put 0 thought into it but I couldn't stay with you for a number of reasons and I know this sounds one-sided and it probably is but everything happens for a reason, honestly, I nearly chickened out of this but I felt I had to say something. Sorry it took so long."
"I'm sorry the way we ended the way we did, I thought that if we did break up it would be on nicer terms and that maybe we could`ve been friends, after everything that happened I know that wasn't the best situation, I`ve been doing a lot of reflecting back on everything and as bad as it sounds I think the only way I could have ended it was the way I did and I did love you of course I did but for me, the relationship felt like a prison in some aspects I know you might not have felt it and I definitely should've talked about it more but I felt like I did and it was knocked and I'm in a new relationship and the comparison is very slim in terms of how I am obviously I don't expect a response or anything but I feel like I'm living in the past and I'm ready to put it behind me I'm not sure if you're the same but thought id say it anyways."
After all this, I am the one that sacrificed shit to be there for her. I am not jealous anymore, I couldn't care to be honest at this stage. I have a holiday to South Africa planned soon so I am going to go enjoy my well-deserved holiday abroad for 2 weeks and focus on myself until I feel like I am somewhat ready to be on the dating scene again.
At the end of all of this, I did my very best for this girl who I thought was the one for life. I was wrong. But for those reading this, if you are going through a breakup and are struggling, it is okay to feel down, but if you need to vent or let off some steam, do not be afraid to talk to someone. Talking helps in so many ways, more than one would think. I hope only the best for those going through their rough patches.
It's the 29th of May when I post this, I just turned 21, and I started dating this person when I was 17. I shared my 18th and 19th with them. I am in a better headspace now and have a little more confidence than I did last year.
Thank you to those who have read this.
Wishing you all the best.
Cheers.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ElectronicMoon1676 posting in AskALawyer
Likely Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Medium
Original - 13th May 2024
Update1 - 15th May 2024
Update2 - 23rd May 2024
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Mother wants to legally force me to live with her even though I am 39.
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So my mother (60) has always had a flair for dramatics and will convince herself of things that are just not true, and of course her brothers (my uncles) think it’s hilarious and will get her worked up even more, while making fun of her for being so gullible behind her back. I cut her out of my life 4 years ago. We are in Michigan. Someone I trust in the family came to me with concerns that my mother may lie to try to get conservatorship over me.
Here is what I know. Her current belief is that I am an unemployed alcoholic living in my car and being taken advantage of by evil men from the political party that she hates. This is not true. I have a place, pay my bills and had a full-time job last time we spoke. I did leave that job but I also returned to school full time on GI Bill, which includes a stipend for living expenses, and found a sweet part-time job, in an air conditioned office, on campus. As far as I know she has no idea I am back in school and I haven’t told anyone in my family, even the ones I trust, what is going on in my life.
Problem is that she lost her job of over 20 years during a mass lay off sometime since we last spoke. These new coworkers haven’t known her long enough to recognize how she doesn’t keep her stories straight or how she flip-flops things around. Basically she has led everyone she works with to believe I am only in my early-mid 20’s and haven’t quite finished my “teenage rebellion phase”, and she is a good mommy who just wants to save her baby from the evil political party.
They have all been “helping her with “research””, and believe because I have a disability rating from the VA, it means I am mentally incompetent. It does not at all mean that. Now I am positive that none of them actually understand how a VA disability rating actually works, my mother likely lied to them about it. Her new friends believe she can have me declared incompetent, force me to live with her for monitoring, and finally take control of my finances thus getting control of my disability payments. I have an 80 rating which is currently just under $2000 a month.
My concern isn’t that my mother could prove I am incompetent but it’s that she could use court proceedings to get a hold of my address, school, or work place. I guess my question is about rules of discovery when it comes to conservatorship cases. Can my mother or any lawyer willing to take her case on actually get ahold of my personal info I don’t want her to have?
If I provide courts with documents proving my competence and ability to care for myself, do I have the right to ask the court to seal or redact any information or documents with info I don’t want her getting? She sabotaged me going to college around 20 years ago and I don’t want to go through that again. I am assuming that the first person I would ever have to deal with would be a social worker, and I want to know if I have any legal recourse to prevent the social worker from sharing my info with my mother?
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530_Oldschoolgeek
See if your college has some kind of free legal aid service they can direct you to, and explain this to them. They might be able to point you in the direction to get low cost or free legal services so an attorney can send your mother a cease and desist letter along with filing for a restraining order in such a manner as to not disclose your current whereabouts.
They might also have other ideas that will curtail any attempt by her to try to put a conservatorship in place.

OOP: I just checked and they don’t. But, silly me forgot, the VA clinic in my city has a social worker on site. I used her once for a medical power of attorney. But I bet she could either help me herself or get me to the right resource.

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Stunning-Interest15
Not a lawyer, but they pay me a shit ton of money to handle stuff like this as a private investigator. Here's my take.
Yes. Her lawyer will hire an investigator to find all of your information. They will pay online databrokers for your file and they will get WAY more than your address. (Everything. They will get everything. If you fucked up and said that thought you didn't want people knowing about, they will find that out.)
Any of that information that can then be found on Google is a public record since it's already on the public Internet. Your address is almost certainly among that data.
No court can sanction public information. Even if they could, the internet is forever and it's already out there.
So, bad news there. The good news is that you're a grown ass woman and the courts are not going to give her a conservatorship just because you have PTSD. You are in no danger of anything other than your mom showing up on your doorstep unannounced.

OOP: How likely are lawyers and private investigators to take on someone without the ability to pay. Do they have the ability to check credit scores. My mother is terrible with money. My brother confessed to me that she “sold the house” she bought with her third husband a little while after their divorce. By brother insinuated that she was in a bad way with money. I know that when I was 20 and she was 40, I had a better credit score than her. I went to buy a used car and she said she would have to co-sign cuz I was too young to have a good credit score. Turned out I got a better rate without her co-signing. Makes me wonder how bad someone’s credit has to be that you are detrimental to a loan as a co-signer.

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Update - 2 days later
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I tried to update the original post and couldn’t, and the update comment I left got buried at the bottom.
Backstory: Mother wanted me declared incompetent to gain control of me and my veteran disability payments.
So I talked with another family member who confirmed what the first said. Everyone is angry because I wasn’t suppose to find out what happened because “they were handling it”. I refused to tell who told me, which is causing more anger but whatever. So this situation had resolved itself last week. My mother was talking a big game about how she was calling lawyers and Adult Protective Services. After a few days she started trashing on all lawyers and saying that APS was wasting taxpayer dollars.
Apparently she has forgotten all about this whole mess. Her job got a new summer internet and my mother is obsessed. Every conversation anyone has with her is about this guy. My poor grandma has to have no less than a one hour conversation with my mother everyday about this guy. The guy comes from a lot of money, which in the end was what I think she wanted with me. This guy just turned 20 and my mother is 60.
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homer_lives
That sounds like a win for now. Most likely, APS "laughed" her out of the room. I would avoid contact since she sounds Manic, going from one scheme or idea to another.
shhh_its_me
Sounds like Mom needs a guardian
DredgenCyka
If I had a nickel for everytime I heard of someone's mom trying to force their 100% VA disabled veteran son or daughter to live with them by declaring them incompetent for self care, I'd have about 25 to 30 cents. It's just weird that it's happened that many times, and it's sad. Stay away from her, and thank you for your service!
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Update - 8 days later
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TLDR of my previous post was that my mother wanted to have me declared incompetent so she could get control of my veteran disability payments and force me to come live with her. I went no contact like 4 years ago. Her plan was to make up wild stories about me and it didn’t go her way. Now she is obsessed with this new intern at her job that comes from money, and seems to have forgotten all about her plan.
I was able to squeeze in meeting with the social worker who works at my VA clinic. I gave her the run down and even showed her my two previous posts. She thought it was kinda funny. She informed me that if a state SW were to be informed of a veteran in a need they would reach out to the VA and she would likely be a first point of contact.
She said that no one from the county or state has contacted her about me yet, but she would make a note. Apparently, the whole Britney Spears conservatorship has made a lot of people think it’s super easy to get conservatorships. She said some people think they will get paid a lot of money to do it. Her best guess is that if my mother did call, it was explained to her how complex the process is and that I would be guided to the VA to receive treatment first, before declaring me incompetent. She did agree with many of the comments that said my mother could find me pretty easily if she really wanted to.
The SW use to work at the state office and while she didn’t work at adult protective services but she had friends and coworkers who did. Money seemed to her to be a really big factor in how hard people fought to get conservatorship. She was surprisingly compassionate towards my mother and said sometimes parents just get worried and worry makes people do stupid things. She said some parents have a hard time adjusting to their children becoming adults and moving out.
Sometimes it’s because they are losing child support, or they’re losing the person who did all the chores, or because they just don’t want to face reality that their baby grew up. And these parents will lash out at the world instead of accepting the truth. She told me about a case a friend of hers had where the parents of an adult woman who had moved out couldn’t face reality. Her parents had been relying on her to do all the housework and raise her brothers. With her gone, everything fell apart at home.
These parents blamed their daughter who had moved out instead of taking responsibility for their own lives Her friend was so stressed by the case because she got yelled at by the parents almost daily about how the state needed to force their daughter to move back in with them. They never got their wish and almost lost their other kids. A grandparent found out what was happening and stepped up to set the parents straight.
Someone had messaged me saying my post was blowing up on social media and I went looking for it and couldn’t find it. They pointed out my family could see it, but I’ve decided I don’t care if they do.
So basically, if my mother really wants to find me she can, but the conservatorship isn’t that easy to get, and I know my mother well enough to know she doesn’t have the patience, or money needed to pursue this anymore. Also there seems to be a lot of rules surrounding conservatorship that I don’t think my mother would have liked following. So I should be good for a while.
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Comments
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OOP in response to a deleted comment (presumably about the intern)

A far as I know he still works there and she is still obsessed.

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DredgenCyka
You should still remain in No Contact with your mom. This will still make it difficult to gain conservatorship over you. I also don't think the VA hospital will pronounce you incompetent at all unless you lost limbs or went into a vegetative state from a concussive blast, in addition 100% Disabled ≠ Incompetent to manage youre own life. Hopefully, the VA will become an advocacy group for you, im also pretty sure the VA offers lawyers to their veterans. You can ask about that if your mom steps out of line.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Recently got to know someone that i was introduced by a friend. I will name him as person A.
He initiate to pick me up and hang out together so everything was all good. He dont talk much, we barely strike conversations or shared much about ourselves. He is just so diff from the guys who chased me n i dated before. I feel maybe thats him and maybe he dont rlly like me. So Person A, got to hear my past rs from my ex they are all in the same circle group of friends.
So Person A and I we hanged out together for almost a month, (which i did not know he heard something about me) which i knew nothing about him. We had random conversations one night and he just confronted me on what people had commented abt me. And shared about himself of his past unpleasant rs and experiences which he admitted he is a very negative person especially in a rs. So before i continue the above story. This is how me n his conversation starts: I ask him how he think abt us since we have been seeing each other for some time, he said "are we even seeing each other??" And what makes me think if we are seeing one another? Like he said he don't even buy me flowers or etc.. I was really speechless.... Then i ask him then does he have any questions to ask me? He keep saying no.... Until i keep asking then he said that he is confuse cos we have same circles of friends he do not want to mess up this fs and if we were tgt and the remarks of (my ex bestfriend) comment about me.
So i ask him what did the friend said after hearing I was furious about it as i felt through out this 1 month he had been judging me from his perspective while i know nothing. Which he could have ask me when he got to know me from the start.
From there i start to distance myself from him as i felt he get swayed so easily just from people's comment and he needs alot of assurance as from his past rs experience wasnt that great. Which i am also had alot of bad past experience i took up the courage for person A to step up as i got scolding from my friends that i want putting effort.
Then realising person A is the one who is not being honest. I felt there is no trust means no point together. Which trust had been broken from the start. He said that if he did think i wasnt the potential one he would not have continued. I told him off that cant be everytime pol said smth abt me i need to always explain myself n assure him? (Which that was all my past rs which i do not want it again.)
He said cant be i dont give him any assurance. I told him it will be better to stay as friend for now.
He said he will take it as i did not say this. So we ended the night with this. Subsequently, we had another night with another conversation as i distance myself to him as i just felt that he is not certain if this rs is what he is looking for. He came to look for me wanting to talk it out, i told him i'm confused i feel there is no point talking it out as i felt what he wanted and what i wanted is very different.
My thoughts were, I do understand if a person is confuse and not certain in themself they will portray a meaning to the other party as confusing too. So if he is firm i can feel by his actions and energy. I told him upfront u are confusing me, there is no point talking about it. Like what does he want. He said we are not dating and neither we are just pure friends. To my logic is if a person is pregnant means pregnant there is nothing like "maybe i'm half pregnant."
In summary i said to person A, there is nothing we can talk about. We just be friends since he prefer take things slow, and for me i am the type i know what i want i will go for it. And i did mentioned i have feelings for him. Then he said he cant compromise everything but he is willing to meet in the middle.
I said something like u don't need to meet my expectations if this is not for u. Just stay as where u are and i will go and look for other opportunities as for my age i am looking for potential partner to settle down in future. It's ok since we are on diff wavelength. It's normal everyone is diff.
Person A said he is not meeting my expectations base of what i want instead he wants to compromise. Then we end the night on this. I distance myself after this and he thought everything was talked out and things were good.
To me it wasn't, because i know he is not certain. when i am distant he thought what had happened, i just said i feel i need to give u the space to think about our conversation. He felt there isn't a need to.
Subsequently we went on a trip and things were all good. But after the trip things were ok as usual greetings with one another daily and him asking me for dinner etc.. but i didn't go as it was raining heavily. So i turn down for 2 days. Him asking if want to go theme park tgt on (PH- Public holiday) which we planned before our trip, which i wanted to as well, it was suppose to be on sunday (ended up he forgot).
Then things start to become weird he no longer text me and everything was silent till i ask him if this is what he wanted. He said to take a break from this as he prefer the current state of things. I ask for reason and Person A said it is not his time to be involved in anything. What i heard from person A friend was incompatible. Contacts were deleted and social media disconnected from one another.
And i also that his ex gf was a foreigner (which i heard usually they are much accomodative and initiative in a rs rather than sg girls). Is that why he might be expecting me to take initiative?
So my assumption was our perspective in rs is diff, alot of miscommunications, and little effort of interactions and him being naive thinking rs is easy n simple, as i may not be like how foreigner girls treat him. And i also felt that prolly he did not want this rs that much either.
I need opinions and advice in this. Really confuse and not sure how, in need of some enlightenment? Kuddos. 🙏🏻

I have hated cats ever since my first best friend passed. He was a cat named Alfredo. He would climb through my window when I was little and I’d feed him. My dad always hated cats but didn’t seem to mind Alfredo. Anyways, he became family and he was mostly outdoors. He never misbehaved or bit me. He never clawed. He had well potty manners and only went outside. He would leave for days and come back for a bit. He was perfect and sweet. Well since then I tried adopting a few cats of my own here and there. Hated them. They were mean and ruthless and undeserving of anything I could give them.
I finally decided to adopt a kitten. I woke up in the middle of the night getting pawed at on the face. Opened my eyes, and in a split second it scratched me in the eye. I had strep at the time and was very ill and felt horrible. I hated that cat. I never hurt him but it made me see red. I wanted to badly but I’m not a monster. I found him a nice home.
My friends thinks her cat is cute. You know those types of people who have evil cats and name them cute little evil names? She’s that person. Her cats name is “Ej” short for “Evil Jared” and I hate it. I was sitting on the floor talking with her one day and he ran up behind me and bit my fucking arm. For no reason. She just laughed and acted like it was cute. Why??? My stepsister has a cat as well. And he’s bit me before unprovoked. I’ve never harmed an animal in my life. I have a 4 year old Leopard Gecko. I’ve had 4 guinea pigs. I’ve had many dogs. And one cat I truly loved. Moral of the rant is, I hate cats and I feel awful about it. Im an empathic person and I cry at almost anything. And the fact that I have so much hate for an innocent animal hurts. I don’t know why I am filled with this evil. I hope one day I can meet another Alfredo to change my mind again. Anyways thanks for listening.

Just venting cause I can’t sleep. I’ve always felt like a burden to others. My social skills are poor and social anxiety makes me pretty awkward and quiet. I find myself apologizing in my head to people because they have to deal with my boring self. When I was a kid we would sit in group desks at school and I would be the only one who never spoke while everyone else was talking. Always remember the pain of being the only one who couldn’t find a partner to do group projects with. Apologies to my former classmates. At my job really want to start a conversation but my anxiety and knowing I don’t have much to share forces me not to. Nothing like spending a monotonous 10+ hour shift with me. Apologies to my coworkers. My family tried to include me in things even when I didn’t want to. My aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins wanted to get to know me, were so kind to me, invited me to many gatherings and even went far out of their to visit me, but in the end my closed off nature made them lose interest in me. Im grateful for the Happy Birthday text every year though. Apologies to my family. Anyway, I’m in good spirits and working on improving myself. I find sharing things that I think about helps a bit. Thanks for reading, I going sleep now. I’ll definitely be deleting this in the morning lol.

For example, in Japan: there was news coverage about tourists JAYWALKING or being careless (it's already an offense) on the roadway despite orange traffic cones and a barrier visible on the side of the road intended to dissuade them, tourists either halted incoming vehicles & traffic standing in the middle of the road (MEANT FOR CARS!) just to take a picture of Mt. Fuji. [It's stupid and dangerous if you ask me.] Some tourists STAND or SIT on the barrier, which is just like, why?
There's more from that clip:

• Tourists standing in the middle of the traffic lane divider to pose and snap pictures [Mind you - There's incoming vehicles while they are doing all of this!]
• Even the news reporter covering the story advised a tourist against taking a photo / selfie while standing on the road divider also treading on it.
• Tourists in Kawaguchiko were partially obstructing the road (not moving out of the way!) to let an INCOMING TRUCK pass, so the driver had to swerve to the right to avoid running them over.
• Tourists flooded another spot「夢の大橋」("Traumbrücke") for taking pictures of the mountain, walking up the stairway for the "instagrammable" picture.
• [at around 4:41] They even caught tourists JAYWALKING in the middle of the roadway even though there's incoming traffic. (Despite the cones and barriers present.)
• There's a group of tourists who were standing on the side of the road divider with incoming traffic loitering there. (Even a van drove right past them, as it's a ROAD - NOT A SIDEWALK!)
• [at around 6:33-6:52] A tourist was standing behind a vehicle then approached the driver. (You can't halt vehicles in the middle of the road and distract the driver! - It's insane!)
• [at around 6:69] Tourists posing in the middle of the lane divider for their "instagram" pics. (You are not allowed to loiter in the road divider!)
• [at around 8:30] A mother and daughter who were tourists TRESPASSED on private property, as there was a sign displaying「立入禁止」stealing one of the flowers on that private residence.
• Of course, tourists litter and leave trash on the street, since Japan has no bins available at public places. (only at designated spots.)

Tourists standing on the barrier with their own two feet, which again is not allowed. Even the ministry of transportation put out a clear statement regarding implmenting countermeasures on a location you are not meant to tread on (or be jaywalking) so their solution is to "install a barrier" to deter them. But we know how that will end up, tourists still disregard the fact there's an barrier installed.
There's another spot where tourists now can take a picture of Fuji, it's some stairway of an overhead bridge, but people again cross the road (or jaywalk) just to reach it. Not long ago, a female tourist from Tunisia was fun over by an incoming vehicle (due to her standing in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD) for the "instagrammable" picture of the mountain. [in Kawaguchiko this happened.]
Speaking of Kawaguchiko, the Lawsons there including Fuji are always featured on as the backdrop of every TikTok talking about tourism in Japan (alongside Kyoto) Yep, there were even 2 tourists caught jaywalking disregarding the ACTUAL pedestrian crossing. Despite Japan installing a barrier to obstruct the view of the mountain, tourists still poked holes as it was created out a black tarp.
In hindsight:

• Have there been cases in Germany, where tourists actually sustained injuries all because of their recklessness and disregard for the rules?
• Are there times when tourists continue to violate the country's laws to the point the authorities started to crack down on it? (or received news coverage?)
• How common is it for tourists visiting Germany to just litter on the floot despite the country having bins available at public places?

My father killed my mother when I was just two weeks old. My grandfather adopted me, however, he passed before 7th grade, and my aunt (mom youngest sister) became my legal guardian. For 16 years I didn’t know anything about my mother or father. I was told I was “different” from the time I could talk & ask questions. I’m not even sure if I would’ve found out at 16 if I didn’t open the mail one day to find a letter from my uncle (dad’s brother) wanting to connect. For 28 years I’ve been confused, anxious, and blaming myself for everything wrong in my family’s life & mine. I felt like I was taking on consequences for my father’s actions. Growing up was tough! I was bullied constantly & couldn’t tell my aunt as she was not emotionally available and was a functional alcholic. Her advice was to laugh it off or make jokes back to people because that’s what she did when she would get bullied. We didn’t have a close relationship because her motto was that she couldn’t be my friend & discipliner. So I would try my best to be a “good child” hoping she would be my friend. We look so much alike that people would often ask if I was her daughter & she’d reply “nope, my niece”. That used to hurt 5- 10 yr old me, since I was always wondering why I didn’t have a mom.
I have two older half sisters that I do not have a relationship with. Both have a parent who was not affected by my parent’s actions. They have siblings they are close to and a parent still alive. Both of my parents, I have never known. My immediate family is super close with our extended family, especially on grandmothers side. So holidays & family reunions to see my cousins meant everything to me.
Fast forward, after college I pretty much went into isolation & cut a lot of family off( blocked on everything, no contact at all) all for different reasons but ultimately stimming from the lack of reciprocal support, care, love, time, and effort. I’m the one that is always creating the “vibe” I’m the person you assume is not ok if they’re quiet and out of the way. I always want everyone to feel included & appreciated. That’s my genuine self, but during covid and after college I realized family really wasn’t who I could rely on. Everything happens for a reason so finding out that I was being talked about behind my back with family was tough. Everyone had an opinion on my life, but never called or talked to me to actually know. However no one really knew me. I remember saying “if I were kidnapped or dead, no one would know”. They only knew the people pleasing, putting on a smile while I’m crying on the inside version of me. When I get around my family or even meeting new people, I feel like my teenage self again. No one knew how much a genuine hug, a text, or a simple “I love you” would make me feel seen. I’ve never had a motherly or nurturing embrace. Everyone assumes I’m fine, taken care of, or dare I say not human. It really feels like my family has made it ok for everyone to have vulnerability & emotions except for me because I should be grateful that they adopted. It’s the said, unsaid. Well, it has been said directly by another aunt (I don’t even care to mention her) & sister. They believe I should be the most grateful person in the world. The aunt that raised me would say “you don’t know that if your mother was alive if, your life would’ve been any better”. There’s so much to unpack and yes I’ve started therapy because honestly I just couldn’t find a reason to exist.
Since Covid I’ve been speaking up for myself & setting boundaries. Today, I have absolutely no close friends & no family. I wake up so disappointed and broken hearted some days because I do not know what I have done so wrong to get here. I feel like I’m the black sheep of the family & society. I hide myself & don’t share my story or my feelings. Therapy has just been me venting, but no practical advice I can use.
I’ve been in my current relationship for 6 years now and I know we want to get married soon. I want to be apart of a village, real bad.
I want to overcome this and I am asking for advice from you Queens on how to stop the self sabotage, make new friends, have a healthy relationship with my family. Or anyone who has grown up without parents, how have you healed that void, if at all

So I have been struggling a lot lately and my best friend and I were really close and I started hanging out with other people and she got jealous. I asked her if I could call and talk to her because I was on the brink of self harm. She said please do not talk to me and said she’s sick of hearing me complain about money and shit … my good friend and her are friends but he knows about all the stuff and how she just abandoned me and dragged my name through the dirt because she was jealous. Should I be mad he’s still talking to her given all she done to me ? And to add he introduced her to his girlfriend and she refused to talk to her and death stared her the whole time. Is it fair to be mad at him for still being in contact with her ? Based on how she treats me and his gf.

Hello, this will be my first ever reddit post which is testament to the fact I am desperate. This is going to be a bit long because lots of context is needed. I apologize in advance for bad grammar or confusing storyline.
I 19(f) have recently been dumped by my (ex) girlfriend around 2 months ago I continue to struggle with anger surrounding what happened and it's just so genuinely frustrating. I will start with some backstory to our relationship up to the falling out and break up. I will be using the name "Sarah" for my girlfriend.
I met Sarah my senior year of high school at my current coffee shop job, I had just got back from bootcamp and was eager to meet new people. Sarah was my age around 8 months older. She had the kinda magnetism where I knew I was going to be in deep and that something was going to happen between us. We quickly became friends and the attraction was real. I could tell she liked me and I knew I liked her but I was scared as my previous girlfriend had cheated on me and I am generally mistrustful of new people.
2-3 weeks into our friendship I invite her to a new year's party, after a couple drinks she confesses that she loves me. I was scared and told her I didn't know her well enough yet, she handled the rejection well. Later that night she flirted with my friend's brother heavily but I assumed it was because she was drunk and I didn't really take note of it. Sarah denied flirting with the brother when my friend brought it up and started calling him creepy. Another red flag yet I ignored it. From there on my friend disliked Sarah. Despite the mishap Sarah and I were still friends and our hangouts went from being with other friends to just us. There was a definite romantic and sexual undertone. I eventually confess and she accepts. Sarah and I were absolute lovebirds I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life. She softened my hardened exterior and genuinely gave me a type of joy that made me want to be by her side forever.
About 6 months into our seemingly perfect relationship I have order to about 16 weeks of training which we knew was coming. At this point I had gained 30lbs from the relationship and was quite overweight. My training was about 1,000 miles away so there was no chance of seeing eachother during this time. During training I was heavily bullied for my weight and other things that I will not get into left me traumatized. Everynight I would call Sarah. She was my joy at the end of a tough day, the reason I knew I had to persist. About 3 weeks into training she has to go to a contract job that will be very labor intensive and long hours. On her way to the jobsite she will be staying at for a month she calls me and we chat casually. During the call she mentions how she wants to have a threesome with me and she wants our third to be a male. I found this incredibly disrespectful because I am a lesbian. I try to hide the fact how deeply this hurt me but she continues to go on about how I would be so perfect if I had a penis. I couldn't hide how badly this was hurting me so I quickly said goodbye and hung-up. Sarah was mad at me for the sudden goodbye but I explained how she hurt my feelings. She begins to back pedal and explain how she didn't mean any disrespect and it was just bad wording on her part.
Sarah was now at her jobsite and our contact defnitely dwindled. I tried my best to get ahold of her but she was always busy during all times of the day. I accepeted the fact that she was working but I didn't understand why she couldn't just text me or call me at night. She started texting me things like "I don't feel like I'm in a relationship right now" and how she didn't feel loved. I tried my best to reassure her tell her my training would be done shortly. Things continued to get worse Sarah started telling me that she didn't want to be together. I assumed this was self-sabotage (she has diagnosed BP) and told her to break-up with me if it was that bad, but I would still be there for her. She did not breakup with me but all contact ceased for 5 days. I was distraught and when I finally got ahold of her she was apologetic and blamed her absence on work. I accpeted her apology but I was deeply hurt by this. Later we got into a fight because she lied about being out with friends. Sarah in my mind was a very honest person so I was deeply hurt by the fact she felt the need to lie to me. I was upset and mentioned her ghosting me and she told me I was dragging it on to make her feel guilty. I was livid but stayed with her and she eventually apologized for lying and for saying that.
5 weeks later and my training is almost complete and Sarah is back home from the contract job. Sarah and I begin to have problems again over her not feeling loved and feeling like she was single. I once again explain that I'm not trapping her and that I love her unconditionally. She eventually breaks-up with me and I once again assume this is sabotage. We stay in contact she still tells me she loves me etc. This is when "Brian" makes an appearence. Brian is her new bestfriend who works with her and Sarah says he makes her happy etc. At this point alarm bells are going off in my head but she denies liking him and says they're just friends. I write my suspicions off as insecruity and continue talking to her.
My training is almost complete and I have to go out to the feild for 1 week I won't have my phone and I tell Sarah this. I complete my week of training but something happens there which later effects my graduation. The moment I get back I had gotten a lot of texts from Sarah telling me how much she misses me and that she was self-sabotaging. I welcome her back in open arms. About 1 week before graduation I am part of an impending investigation and they need my tesitomony. I know at this point I am probably not going to graduate on time with my peers but I am in denial. Sarah makes plans to drive down to my graduation and I continue without telling her about the investigation. 48 hours before graduation I partially confess to not being able to gradute on time but I dont include the details to why. Sarah is PISSED, but rightfully so and we continue until I'm able to go home 4 weeks after my graduation. I suprise her back home and all is well.
We move in together but I have this nagging feeling she was not honest about Brian. I eventually go through her phone while she was sleeping and find her sexts with him and how she actually dated him. I am livid I confront her and she is deeply apologetic but explains how she wasn't cheating because we were broken up. I begrudingly accept this and we stay together but she deeply hurt me with all the lying. About 1 week later I go thorugh her phone and findout she was cheating on me while she was at her jobsite. Sarah had sent around 4+ guys her nudes and other sexts (I am still currently unaware if she had actual sex with anyone besides Brian but she denies it) I confront her, I wasn't even angry just sobbing and this is the first time I ever cried in front of her. She denies that she cheated and takes her phone from my hands. I beg her to let me see and she says no. Eventually she hands her phone over and I see everything she sent again. At this point we are still together but it is miserable. I am constantly freaking out at her and she is working a lot of hours. Sarah sits me down and explains I am making her feel like shit because of the guilt and that she can't help but resent me for it. I beg her not to go. We eventually agee to stay together for 1 more month but we have a big fight and I move out 1 week into the agreement.
The story is now mostly current. We have had on and off contact during the break-up but I recently blocked her. I feel like I have no more self-respect. How does someone get cheated on and then dumped by the cheater. This whole experince plus the things that have happened during training have left me broken. I hate the way I feel. I'm currently going to the gym and dieting but I don't know how to deal with all this self-loathing. I miss her a lot but I also hate her for what she did. A part of me hopes we can meet again as strangers and fall in-love again. I just feel so lonely and angry all the time. It makes me so mad how you can bare your very soul before someone and it won't matter. I want her to hurt the way she hurt me. I want her to know she is a terrible person. I want her to hold me again. This has just been so frustrating and I know it gets better but I'm just so done.
I left out a lot of details and probably rambled a bit. I don't know if anyone could say anything to make me feel better this is mostly just a rant post.
TL;DR
Ex GF cheats on me while I was in military training, we stay together anyways and she dumps me. I now am hateful.

I went on a date with my newly sober girlfriend tonight - we got really great sushi and then went to a hookah cafe and hung out and talked for a long time about a lot of things, but sobriety and community was one of the big topics. We’re both polyamorous and have other relationships, but our other partners have either never struggled with addiction at all or have never had problems with alcohol, and we spent a lot of time talking about the shorthand of addiction, the acceptance and grace that comes from talking to people who have been there and are trying to heal. I talked about this community and how much I’ve been enjoying going to AA and working with people who are actively pursuing sobriety.
I’m someone who has always felt kind of like an alien, like everyone around me is having a completely different experience than I am, but the experience of addiction and trying to dig yourself out of it is something I find completely relatable and understandable. Even though the people I go to AA with come from very different backgrounds and experiences than me, I feel a solidarity and belonging with other people pursuing sobriety. Another friend used the metaphor recently of being survivors of a disaster- that we’re all trying to recover from a specific kind of catastrophe, and that binds us together and gives us a way to understand each other. Talking to my girlfriend brought into focus how lucky I am to have this connection with so many people, even though I wish we didn’t have to struggle like this. For all the pain and shittiness my alcoholism has brought to my life and other peoples’, it’s also led me to a community. And I’m especially lucky that someone I love and want to share my life with has this understanding, and that we can be sober together. I guess I just wanted to share that gratitude with you folks, because you’re a big part of that too- I don’t know any of you beyond the odd comment or upvote, but I read your posts and grieve and celebrate and root for you, and I know there’s some people doing the same for me. Feels good to be around people who get it.