Short poem of collage doctor seuss

Please bare with me as this will be a long one, it's my first ever post on reddit.
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do 🤦🏼‍♀️ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day 😅) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou

Okay so I’ll skip over the boring parts, but my dream took place in like a post apocalyptic world and me and my boyfriend were together with a group of other survivors. In my dream I wanted a kid so bad. (I will say I feel the same way about it in real life but me and my boyfriend are both male so it’s a little hard) So there was like this creepy doctoscientist that said he could help us and long story short he some how created a embryo and place inside another male….. I’m not sure but it happened. While he was injecting it into the guy a swarm of black birds (I wanna say crows) flew around him and the doctor and a storm rolled in . Months later it’s ready for the baby to come out and all of a sudden I could literally see the baby kicking and pushing outta the stomach like it was trying to break its way out the doctor ended up getting the baby out but the crows came back and swarmed all around us and the baby. The baby came out semi normal it was giving me demonic vibes 👀 like a feeling of this is wrong and should never have happened and in my dream I said this is wrong. I should also note that I lucid dream every night I’m vary aware in my dream but this one was different I could still control my body and what I do and say but I could not change the theme and story like a normally can I kind of just had to ride with it. It almost felt like a nightmare but I also enjoyed having a child but everything just felt so wrong. And the crows made it worse. Any one have a thought on wtf this means or is this just one of those really weird dreams.

From Huberman Labs podcast episode "Dr. Robert Sapolsky: Science of Stress, Testosterone & Free Will Episode 35 Huberman Lab" Ignoring the name, this discussion of women, estrogen, and menopause shows up partway through and its fantastic!
Youtube Spotify Apple Podcasts
Robert Sapolsky (34:56):
No, and it’s once again, very context dependent. And if estrogen after giving birth is playing a central role in you wanting to shred the face of somebody getting too close to your kittens kind of thing, we know it’s not just warm, fuzzy, empathic kind of stuff. Estrogen in lots of ways could be summarized by if you had a choice in the matter between having a lot of estrogen in your bloodstream or not, go for having a lot of estrogen.
(35:27):
It enhances cognition exactly as you said. It stimulates neurogenesis in the hippocampus. It increases glucose and oxygen delivery. It protects you from dementia. It decreases inflammatory oxidative damage to blood vessels, which is why it’s good for protecting from cardiovascular disease in contrast to testosterone, which is making every one of those things worse. This brings up this minefield of the question, which is, so what about post-menopausal estrogen?
(36:04):
And all sorts of lab studies with non-human primates suggested that you keep estrogen levels high after a monkey’s equivalent of menopause, and you’re going to keep brain health a lot better, decreasing the risk of dementia, stroke, every such thing. Estrogen is a great antioxidant, all of that. So in the 90s, I think, when Healy, I’m forgetting her name, but when there was the first female head of the NIH, Bernadette Healy, set up this massive prospective human study, what was going to be the biggest one of all times, looking at the pluses and minuses of post-menopausal estrogen.
(36:51):
And tens of thousands of women, and this was great, and they had to cut the study short because what they were seeing was estrogen was not only doing the normal bad stuff that you expect in terms of some decalcification stuff, but it was increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease, and it was increasing the risk of stroke, and it was increasing the risk of dementia, and this ground to a halt, and everybody, they stopped the study in front page news, and everybody had that point, and nobody could make sense of it who had been spending the last 20 years studying the exact same thing in primates and seeing all the protective effects. And the explanation turned out to be one of those things where, like law of unexpected consequences.
(37:42):
Okay, menopause in women, at last different lengths of time, that may be a factor, let’s get a… You know what? Let’s not start giving our study subjects more estrogen until they’re totally past menopause. And when you’ve got that lag time in between, you shift all sorts of estrogen receptor patterns, and that’s where all of the bad effects come from. All of the monkey studies had involved just maintaining ovulatory levels into the post-menopausal period. And you do that, and you get great effects. Estrogen is one of the greatest predictors of protection from Alzheimer’s disease, all of that, but it needs to be physiological.
(38:26):
Just keep going, keep continuing what your body has been doing for a long time, versus let the whole thing shut down, and suddenly try to fire up the coal stoves at the bottom of the basement, kind of thing, and get that going. There, you get utterly different outcomes. And that caused a lot of human health consequences when people suddenly decided that estrogen is in fact neurologically endangering post-menopausal [women]. . .
Andrew Huberman (38:55):
Wow, that’s fascinating. And I never thought that these steroid hormone receptors could, you know, by not binding estrogen, by not binding estrogen, being devoid of estrogen binding, I should say, could then set off opposite biochemical cascades. Fascinating. I guess it raises the question about testosterone replacement too, whether or not people should talk to their doctor before too long. Men and women, talk to your physicians before too long to avoid these, whatever is happening in these periods where there isn’t sufficient testosterone and or estrogen. Sounds like it could cause longer-term problems even when therapies are introduced.
Robert Sapolsky (39:36):
Two additional miseries slash complications. So, okay, you’re trying to understand, you look at women with a history with or without post-menopausal estrogen replacement, where it’s done right, and you’re seeing 20 years later, estrogen is a predictor of a decreased risk of Alzheimer’s. Then you got to start trying to do the unpacking prospective type studies. How much estrogen?
(40:04):
At which times? Estrogen is just a catch-all term for a bunch of hormones. Estrone, estradiol, estriol. How much of each one of them? Natural or synthetic? Go try to figure all of that out. And the second complication is, it’s often hard to say anything about what estrogen does outside the context of what progesterone is doing. And often it’s not the absolute levels of either, it’s the ratio of the two. This is such a more complicated endocrine system than testosterone.
(40:39):
And because you have to generate dramatic cyclicity that like no male hypothalamus ever has to dream of. It’s a much, much more complicated system. Thus, it’s more complicated to understand, let alone like figure out what the ideal benefits are of it.

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It's been a long time since I had anyone I was close with. Lost a lot of people I loved and maybe even that feeling altogether too. Recently I've been pouring all my time into writing in the hopes that it will carry legacy and all that. Never planned or wanted to be a writer but I've been doing it for ten years now so there's that I suppose. Got pretty good I might add. Wrote a few poems recently (Not normally my thing). I'm just feeling pretty weird recently. Not my normal self maybe. Feel like I deserve something more than this but not sure. Feel pretty isolated. It would be nice to meet some people and I prefer voice calls rather than messaging, it's just better.
Besides being a writer, I'm a pretty creative person. I enjoy art, music of many different kinds, history, dreams. I also like to collect stuff, mainly historical weapons and some figures from when I was young. I'm very open as well. I also don't mind talking with people who don't share my interests. I find that often I get along with people that are my opposite anyway. Really I just want to connect with someone again, something even slightly meaningful would be good for my life I think, cause right now the only thing I love is me. And that's good. But it's hard to explain. As I said I feel weird. If you read this far you are something special so I appreciate that. If you would like to call please message with a bit about yourself like I did. I will most likely ignore short/low effort messages or if it seems like you just read the title and not the actual post because a lot of people seem to do that. Thanks!

Sweat dripped down Don Carmichel’s face, the sweltering air stank of sulfur. His ankle twisted in in the opposite direction, bits of bone were poking through his dungarees. He dragged himself toward the entrance, gravel cut into his hands. Sharp pain agonized his every move, the torn muscle in his leg screamed. He crawled toward door, he only to get out and seal the exit. It was supposed to have been a simple plan, but simple plans don’t succeed in the face of the enemy.
Donald Carmicheal was a private investigator just outside of Baltimore Maryland. He had grown tired of spying on unfaithful couples and answered an add in the hills of Pennsylvania. B&N Mining were in search of a good spy to infiltrate their workers. Whispers of a Union traveled and the mining company had no tolerance for a strike. The country was still reeling from the Battle of Blair Mountain a few years prior.
Don agreed to the assignment and began to work as a miner. The hours were long and hard in the dark coal mines. He would cough up black soot every night and his body ached. He overheard the fellow workers talk about being paid poorly and in company scrip. They would go to work injured because they couldn’t afford a doctor and most of them looked half starved. Don didn’t blame them for wanting better pay and it was hard for him not to take thier side, but he was hired to do a job for B&N.
The workers spoke of a rally lead by Stanly Collins, a member of the United Mine Workers. Stanly traveled and began unions in various mining towns around Pennslyvania and West Virginia. His voice was loud and charismatic, and within him the worn faces of the workers found hope .
Don reported this to the Higher Ups, and they assigned the private investigator with finding any dirt on Stanly. The man was clean, didn’t drink, didn’t so much as smoke, went to church and doted on his ten year old son. There was no talk of a wife, so Don figured the man was a widower.
The higher ups thought about killing Stanley in an accident, but that would make him a martyr and the workers would strike to spite B&N. No, they needed to create a distraction for Mr. Collins, a way to stop him in his tracks. Mr. Collins had a ten year old son, Caleb, that son was their advantage.
They asked Don to catch him and hide him in a mine shaft until . It would only be for a couple of days, and the boy would be unhurt. All he had to do was keep an eye on him, after Mr. Collins agreed to call off the strike his boy would be returned back to him unharmed, it was as simple as that.
The prospect didn’t sit well with Don, but who was he to argue with the Higher Ups, he’d seen how they handled defiance before. Getting fired and evicted would be the least of his problems if he were to disobey.
The Higher Ups told Stanly’s son Caleb worked as hurrier for the mine. He would load coal carts and help push them through narrow passages that grown men were too big to fit through. Caleb would report the horrible conditions back to his Papaw and his Papaw would run his mouth to the UMW. It wouldn’t be hard to find Caleb after a shift and catch him.
Don walked on over to where the hurriers worked, the shaft was so short that he had to walk bent over. He jumped as a mine cart sideswiped him, the small brat pushing it yelled out “ watch where you’re going mister.” Don didn’t pay him no mind, the whelp would grow bow legged and stooped, succumbing to black lung like the rest of his unwashed brethren.
Don was saving Caleb from a life of servitude. Even if he followed in his father’s footsteps and organized unions, how much better could the bowls of the earth be? There’d always be hard work and heavy coal, no union would change that.
He found Caleb with a group of other boys. Soot covering his face, only white sleeveless shirt and dungarees. A boy his age should be fishing or playing in the woods , not digging in no mine shaft. His father’s hypocrisy knew no bounds when it came to getting his agenda across. If Stanly Collins cared about his son, he would be in school, along with all the other children.
Don walked up to the boy and kneeled to his level. “Are you Caleb Collins?”
“Yes Sir,” said the boy. His voice sounded tired and older than his years.
“I have some bad news, you’re daddy has been hurt awful bad, and I need you to come with me.”
Instead of looking surprised, Caleb stared at him with deep black eyes. The stare made Don’s blood turn cold.
“It’s urgent, he…uh… he needs you now,” Don managed to stutter out, his tongue had turned to clay.
“Yes Sir,” was all the boy said.
Don’s stomach dropped in that moment and he almost reconsidered his plan. He took a deep breath. Donald Carmicheal wasn’t terrified of no ten year old. He was going to take him somewhere deep in the mine and hold him until his daddy agreed to negotiate with the Higher Ups.
As he led the boy deeper down the mine shaft Don’s uneasiness grew. He thought about quitting, telling boy the truth and letting him go back to work, hell, letting the boy leave the mine all together. But the higher ups would put his head on a pike if he even considered this to be an option.
“Where are ya taken me?” asked Caleb. His voice had gone flatter and his whole eyes had turned solid black for a second.
“It… It’s just a little further down the mine shaft, son.”
“I ain’t your son! My daddy works on the upper levels, why ain’t you bringing me there?”
“Y…You’re father was on a special project with us, please it’s just a little further-”
“No he ain’t , the owner’s of this here mine would never let him in on a higher project.”
“D... don’t make this hard for me, boy.”
“You have no idea who I am, do you sir?”
Don turned around and once again, Caleb’s eyes went coal black. Inky tendrils of shadow formed and went up the walls of the mine. Stone cracked and crumbled around them. The boy’s skin cracked and peeled into oozing sores as he crept towards him.
“What in hell are you?” Don began to run up the mineshaft, but the inky coils formed on the rocks around him, forming fissures and cracks. The air turned hot and stank of sulfur as the mine began to crumble underneath them.
“I think you already know.” Caleb’s voice turned flat and was so deep it made Don nauseous and uneasy. It was old scratch himself, coming to collect on his soul. He should have sided with Stanly and the miners. He could have found an assignment with the UMW and helped turn the situation on thier side. Helped them organize a strike so it gave them doctors and schools but now it was too little too late.
Caleb followed him , his tendrils grasping for Don through the stone. The child’s skin flaked off as oily tentacles grabbed at Don. The workers panicked and ran out toward the exit, causing a jam at the door, their screams echoing in the chamber the stone began to crumble.
“Let them go, this is between us, they don’t need to suffer, what would you’re daddy think-”
“My daddy? You mean my host.” With that the monster’s tendrils went out through the staircase, toppling it and the crowd to the depths below. As they screamed in terror a boulder fell smashing in on Don’s ankle. Waves of excruciating pain went through his body causing him to vomit. The smell of sulfur and half digested fried chicken was too much for him to bear, his lungs tightened for air. The staircase was gone, but a narrow path that led toward the exit, cool breeze exited the doorway, giving him a ray of hope.
Caleb slammed down blocking his exit. Inky, oily tendrils snaked around Don’s body and squeezed tight, the veins in Caleb’s forehead grew larger as Don’s life force leached away. His body weakened as his eyes closed for the final time. Half the workers managed to make it out alive, Stanly among them. Cries echoed from the outside as the mine collapsed in on itself.
In the weeks following the mine collapse, the B&N mine company negotiated with the United Mine Workers for a fair deal. Stanlhy Collins and his son Caleb quit the mining business and settled into the nearby village of Junction Maryland, where Stanly was elected sheriff. He was thankful to be one of the few that made it out of the mine alive.
Though he was unsure where his son came from, he never remembered ever having a wife. Whenever he thought to question the boy, he looked at him with solid black eyes, and Stanly always forgot the question. It was all well and fine , they would make peace in this small town.

I've had tinnitus for years, but it's always been mild. It's always there, but it was hardly ever at a level that would even be annoying. A few days ago though, it spiked in one ear and I'd describe it as a 9/10. It's constantly there and I absolutely cannot get myself to do anything beyond basic life functions.
I'm also autistic and extremely sensitive to lots of sounds (misophonia). Because of that, I pretty much have on NC headphones with white noise 24/7, including sleeping, and I've been doing this for years. I've included this to explain that white noise does not help in the slightest nor am I able to "just focus on something else."
I've started looking at different accommodations in the workplace, mostly a short-term leave to pursue treatment (and by treatment I mean figuring out how to function again with the help of docs/psychs/ENTs; I know my tinnitus won't go away). The problem is there's a relatively tight deadline to file a claim, and I'm worried about how many doctors I might have to go to before someone takes me seriously (especially as a young woman). I don't want to wait until a "failed" appointment before I schedule another one somewhere else; I'd like to schedule a healthy amount in advance.
So I'm here to ask others who might have gone through a similar process: how difficult was it to find a doctor or specialist that supported you through any sort of disability claim?

female type 1 diabetic.
I was admitted to a an er for suicidal ideation. I was being held on a 5150, upon arrival I told staff that I was sexually assaulted by an adult male. I would like to sue the hospital for negligence as well as emotional distress.
My bloodsugar reached over 350mg/dL for extended periods of time. This resulted in me having headaches, nausea, extreme thirst, blurred & frequent urination. After asking the nurse in charge of my care to confer with my endocrinologist or a specialist, they declined to do so. While I was there despite hospital policy they made me put my insulin pump on and take charge of giving myself boluses and essentially taking care of my own diabetes. I believe that any trained endocrinologist will tell you that their use of insulin was extremely dangerous, one of the times being where they switched in between giving me long acting and short acting to the point my bloodsugar was 56mg/mL.
Even though I was on a 5150 hold, I even have pictures of the CNAs who were supposed to be watching me sleep. They left equipment with long cords, which only further grew my suicidal ideation. And furthered the anxiety.
A male doctor came into my room placing his hand on my butt and shaking me to “get my attention”. He came in very aggressive which only heightened my anxiety, after seeing responding was not resulting in a resolution I stopped talking and just laid in my bed facing away from him playing 8 ball on my phone. Once I stopped responding to his threats of “them doing whatever they want to”. He grabbed my arm forcefully again and tried snatching my phone out of my hand. I turned further on to my side from the force- then looked at him while his hand was still on me and told I wasn’t going to touch him but he needed to get his hands off of me. I tossed my phone on the ground and told him he could take it and I wouldn’t fight it. I then said goodbye which I guess struck a nerve. As he was headed for the door he turned back and a bunch of grown men 6-9 grabbed me at his command. Before they grabbed me I was simply laying on my bed under the blankets on my side not moving. During this there was a person holding my wrist and bending it, to which I screamed out repeatedly that I was being hurt. I screamed repeatedly for them to get off of me, and my screams for help fell on deaf ears. After this I was left sobbing and visibly shaking from the trauma of being held down. The following night, I could not sleep despite being giving melatonin due to feeling them pinning me down everytime my eyes would shut. This has lead me to be afraid to seek further help for my mental health treatment. I was dismissed the following day.

Hi all,
I'm in round two of sciatica pain. This time it is so much worse than the first. I've been to urgent care and the ER and a back and spine specialist. Right now, the specialist wants me to wait to see if the gabapentin works, but that still leaves me in almost 10 out of 10 pain most days. I'm pretty much bedbound, can't even stand long enough to microwave a meal. (I have to lie down and take a break while it cooks.) So many of my activities of daily life are changed. I can't even go to the bathroom normally (bending, not a worry of caudus equinas syndrome). So, even though I'm very fortunate to be able to do my work from home, I have my laptop in bed with me, which is not conducive to typing. Fortunately, my manager has no idea what I do and hasn't assigned me anything new in months, so it's not a huge issue yet. However, I have had to take days off either to go to the doctor or simply because I have to take a stronger pain med which puts me to sleep. Never mind driving, which is nearly impossible, and knocks out my side hustle, which was tutoring.
So my question is, how do you all work and pay the bills while dealing with this pain? I'll be late on my rent for the second month in a row here shortly, and I have $30 whole dollars for groceries for the next 6 weeks. I just don't know what to do.

Trying to make this post as short and informative as possible. I have had GERD for a long time now. About two years ago I thought it flares up bad, went on for an endoscopy. Well I had an ulcer it was healing thankfully. My symptoms back then were mainly, burning, indigestion, heartburn, middle left back pain (dull), weight loss.I felt great for a while but I still had burning here and there a long with indigestion. Fast forward to now. One of my main worries is the dull middle left back pain. What do y'all think, is this just a GERD thing? Or should I consult my doctor about this. I feel she's done all she can for me (American Healthcare Right?) I just don't want this to be a pancreatic thing. Even though if I remember correctly it was alright even the ultrasound came out alright. Any opinions fellow sufferes?
For more info let me know, I'll gladly share.

So, long story short. A table and chairs set in lawn and garden fell off the top shelf and crushed my chest and left shoulder. I have a contusion on my chest wall, a separated shoulder, along with many other strains. I immediately reported it to my TL, who then contacted the only coach on duty at the time to file the incident report. The coach didn’t know much at all about how to complete the form or about policy regarding these type of situations. I spoke with the triage nurse who recommended I go to the hospital (the occupational medicine doctor approved by Walmart works out of an urgent care that was already closed for the day). Went to the hospital, still on the clock, BY MYSELF. Fast forward to the next day, I went to the urgent care. The doctor had me out of work till 6/3, I go into the store to give my people lead the paperwork and my AP coach looked at it and said “this isn’t going to work”, called the doctor, demanded he change the date to the 30th. He agreed although on the new form he said I couldn’t walk, stand, type, etc. My AP coach asked the doctor “what does answering a phone have to do with a chest and shoulder injury?” this isn’t the first time she’s displayed this type of unhinged crackhead behavior. She also said I wouldn’t be paid for going to the urgent care because I was already paid for going to the ER. My question(s) is, isn’t it Walmart policy that a salaried member of management take me to get medical care? Aren’t we supposed to be paid for all doctoER visits? Is she allowed to contact the doctor and demand he change the return to work date? Something is off with this situation. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.

Hey.
I'm borderline/bipolar on track to being better after almost a decade of therapy and medication.
Just under a month ago, my father was having an episode (cold sweats, clammy skin, pulse dropping to 30 etc), fainting several times, called an ambulance and long story short, he had a blood clot in one of his coronary arteries (not to mention 2 older clots that were apparently there for years).
I won't bore you with all the details, but basically we did a temporary fix and are on track for a major surgery, but I haven't bounced back ever since that night. I'm not sleeping well and even when I do I wake up physically and mentally drained.
What REALLY stands out is the nightmares. Even my doctor is unable to help me and she's one of the best in the country. I'm exhausted, and I really have no idea what to do. I need to be strong for my family, but it's tough.
Not to mention the super stressful tech job that I have (I literally had to work even during hospital visiting hours, I would go visit my father and run back to work).
What do I do? I'm really losing it here. It's not like I can quit my job either, I've been looking for something better for a while with no luck so far.

So much of my rage stem from a feeling of injustice. The psychological abuse and the constant threat of violence has had serious psychological and physiological repercussions on my health. After being physically assaulted by my dad at the age of 35 I have serious rage and depression. Shortly thereafter I developed celiac disease and also discovered I have antibodies that my doctor is concerned will turn into lupus. Mental illness and autoimmune diseases are commonly set off by traumatic events. My mother’s gaslighting and scapegoating me after “the incident” only compounded my stress levels. I was asked “well what did you say to set him off?” And “I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened”, as if I was speaking of a stranger who assaulted me not someone she’d been married to for 40 years. Gaslighting is psychologically and psychologically damaging. The invalidation is enough to drive one crazy. Before I was assaulted at 35, I only had childhood trauma and emotional severe emotional abuse (that was apparently my fault). I thought no one believed me or they thought I caused it.
I hope this post validates someone else’s experience. We don’t owe our abusers ANYTHING. We’ve given enough, way more than they deserve.

Hi Reddit, I come here to ask for your help to pray for my mother’s health and also my mental strength through this.
She’s been hospitalized since April at first for her nerve pains starting from the lower back all the way to her feet. Since then multiple conditions have manifested like constant coughing, fast heartbeat rate and short of breath.
She has been treated for the lung condition yesterday but there’s still shadow in her lung scans. Also her liver has deteriorated and blood work showed high lactic acid level. The doctors are still trying to determine the cause.
Please can I have your help in sending her prayers? Thanks.

Me and this girl had been dating around 2 months, we weren't official but had discussed that we would consider seeing anyone else cheating at this point. She had told me how much she loves me though poems and long paragraphs and I had said I love you back at this point.
We both happened to go on a night out drinking on the same night she was worried about 2 girls that were part of the friendship group who are no problem at all and both have boyfriends (I had told her they were coming and didn't speak to them to keep her peace of mind) her friend group bumped into ours and made a scene about the girls and she was very stressed and I tried my best to calm her down. We then offered her to stay with us or go with her fake friends who had spread rumors about the girls to stress her out.
I dont see her again and as I'm going home I get a call from her crying saying I love you. Immediately I knew something was up. I texted her after that call I feel like something has happened I would much rather you tell the truth than lie. I said have you not kissed someone or something and she lied saying why would I kiss someone what made you think that.
So the next morning she was off and I knew it so I told her I know she's hiding something and after some pressure from me she admitted she had been kissed by another guy, she was very drunk the last time I saw her, she claimed she pulled away at this point and didn't kiss him back,. I message the boy who kissed her he messages me mockingly saying my girls tounge was down his throat he said they kissed twice and it was about 10 seconds this boy is known to like winding people up but he also said it seemed like a mix of emotions, and that she really does love me. She was apparently upset because I didn't pick up one of her calls whilst I was dancing at karaoke.
Before I had messaged this boy she had messaged him saying please don't tell him and such and when she did tell me she tried to convince me not to message him as she said he was laughing at her and he will try to flip her on me.
Long story short I spend the whole day gathering information. One of her friends just said they kissed and when i asked for more details about the kiss they didn't answer another said it was a peck for 2 seconds.
But I went to see her and asked to see her phone and her messages with her friends consisted of her her saying to her friends how I can't know the truth and her friends exhaling how they can lie to me and she had been calling me horrible names to her friends as she was apparently angry with me for trying to get the truth as I was talking about the situation all day to her. One of her friends said does he know you kissed him back, another was saying I told him the truth but the truth we both know, there was loads of conflicting things in the messages and I didn't get a chance to read them all but when I asked to look at her phone again she said no and wouldn't let me.
After all this she said she doesn't know if she kissed him back and if she did it wasn't a proper kiss with tounge. She hadn't told be but she did now he had kissed her a second time apparently on the cheek and this was after the boy who kissed her had been saying bad things about me like I ain't a real man and she said she was defending me apparently and this is when she said he kissed her again. Also she said she was crying after this and he was sat next to her wiping her tears. I saw a video she was extremely sad. And the
Way the first kiss happened was he put his arm around her as she was crying over me not picking up the call and then kissed her.
I am very confused I feel like I'm being manipulated her friends are known to be promiscuous but this girl isn't she was crying with guilt today and she was very very drunk but I don't know what to belive she orchestrated the best ways to lie to me and I don't know what to belive. She said she lied to me because she said she knew I would get angry and it would be over but this isn't the case.
Can I get an outside perspective of what you think really happened and what I should do? Thanks if you'd like more information I can give it to you

When I was in high school, we read a poem/short story by a black female author where she described spending one day a year completely alone. She talks about staying home from work, disconnecting her landline, and walking around her city by herself. That's pretty much all I can remember, and I think the purpose of the story is to share the importance of connecting with your inner-self. But I could be wrong.

Hey everyone, i wanted to talk and ask about some things i've been going through, and possibly answer a few questions me and others might have too. Im 26M, from europe
Ok so i wanted to share what happened to me. Basically, i never had any anxiety whatsoever, i didnt even knew it existed, never heard anyone around me about it either.
Smoked weed from 15 till 19, no problems, just made me paranoid and i quit without problems because i felt like a total junkie that everyone was staring at
Smoked cigarettes from 15 until 26,quit 2 months ago for about 1 month and started again for around 2 weeks with the same amou nt as always (3 quarter pack a day), then decided to quit again because it made me very uncomfortable and i actually felt like i was just killing myself with it for the first time, it feels disgusting to do knowing that im just fucking my body with it. During the last 2 weeks i somedays smoked 1-4 cigarettes or none, kinda back and forth, but i used at least 3-5 nicotine gums (4mg) each day regardless from the first time of quitting I can easily quit smoking i noticed because of the gums, but im afraid of the initial nicotine withdrawal should i stop the gums and i noticed that hanging with friends who smoke is my downfall, because if i dont have ciggarettes in my vicinity i dont smoke, like its that easy, im also not gonna buy them, and to top it off the prices have risen insanely the last years so to me the timing is perfect to quit, which would leave me only with nicotine withdrawal/addiction for now.
Drank heavily since around 20, going to parties every weekend friday and saturday, downing ungodly amounts of liqour and beers, because my tolerance was so high, people were almost passing out and i was still making drinks for myself haha, but this led to daytime and weekday drinking too, almost every day i would drink until around 6 months ago, i completely quit because my health deteriorated very much and it felt just so bad, aside from getting mentally and physically fucked by it.
Now comes the fun part
So i was still drinking at 25,working in an office, still smoking how i used to, also i started drinking coffee during this period which i never did before, and i drank pretty strong coffee Never had stress ever, i was always 'way' too relaxed in my own words. I had abused diazepam benzo recreationally without knowing jack shit about the harmful effects, taking up to 50mg a day for no reason for a period of around 2 months leading up to this
I remember quitting the benzos 'because i didnt have anymore' and i didnt need it, and i thought to myself why the fuck do i even take these, so about 5 days or slightly more quitting cold turkey, i was working and went outside to drink coffee and also smoke, not having drank alcohol for the past 3 days too, went into an online meeting and got a full blown panic attack. Since then it happened multiple times in a short period, so i decided to quit booze cold turkey shortly after while i was still in the benzo withdrawal, great success like borat would say right? Well, i went through a living hell, its been around 8 months ago this happened.
So then shortly after quitting the booze which caused me even more anxiety and panic i did around a month of temazepam which was lower in mg, around 20mg per day i would say because i just couldnt handle it anymore, eventually after that month i asked my doctor for a taper dose for 6 weeks, and eventually got off it.
So this was just to show the background, what is happening now is that ive been off booze and benzos for around 7 months. I occasionally drank during that time until now, lets say 5 times, and i noticed peaks in anxiety the next 4 or 5 days. Now im trying to quit smoking after that failed month.
However, im dealing with insane amounts of stress some days, ever since that shit happened i have had general anxiety and ever since i quit smoking im really paranoid about my heartbeat and constantly paying attention to it which stresses me more in any given situation, which in turns worsens the anxiety. I havent smoked in around 5 days and today i just wanted to see what would happen if i just smoked 1. I was already a bit stressed in general the whole day and then when i smoked i felt my heartbeat shoot up and i felt very anxious and uncomfortable and started sweating, this is what usually happens to me and if i pay more attention to it it can go into a panic attack too, and just from 1 fucking cigarette.. And before those 5 days i felt generally good and didnt have anything except for constantly paranoid with my heart rate and letting the stress almost consume me.
Apologies for the long post but i feel like these things should be explained carefully
I started going to the gym 5 weeks ago and people are already telling me my body and face look way better, i sleep at least 7 hours a day which before would be maximum of 5 for all these years. And i feel way better in general.
My questions. -Is the stress and anxiety that im experiencing a possible aftershock from doing all this crap i said above? And would i be able to return to my normal mental state? Looking at that its already taking many months..
-What advice can i get for the smoking, i already set my mind to quitting and i know i can do it, but i want to quit those nicotine gums because nicotine itself also causes this stress on your body and keeps the addiction alive, but im afraid of the withdrawal.
-is there anyone else with a similar situation that has advice for me?
-What can i do about constantly stressing over my own heartbeat, even with the slightest pounding or irregularity?
-is it normal that i felt like this after having that 1 cigarette? I never had any problems with it before, is it the tolerance?
-Any more general advice?
My advice -Dont do fucking benzos, never, this shit ruined it for me, really guys its poison, i wish i knew sooner, i advice everyone to stay far away from this and if youre hooked, taper down asap. Its almost a death wish
-Quit smoking, it made me feel alot better in terms of health, my lungs, my wallet, the smell, teeth and mouth not stinking all day, clothes too, it removed the aches that i had in my heart and chest too, and also skin quality. and if you try to quit, put 100% of your mind to it because that slip-up is very easy.
-Cut down on drinking, i quit because i had to but didnt want to, it became very bad for my body and mental state, but drinking every weekend like most people is just making yourself stuck in a circle and keeping you unhealthy with a bad immunesystem, its a silent killer in my opinion.
-Try the gym, it helped me alot with feeling better, if you cant, try to move, run or walk atleast if you can every day
-Stop eating junkfood and stop drinking sugar, , this also fucked me and especially my stomach and skin, i eat healthier now and the difference is huge.
-what helped me especially with panic attacks is breathing hard in and out and focussing on the breathing, this prevents it from happening to me, and if it does happen, same strategy, it depletes oxygen to your brain so breathing is best to do
-i come to the realization that many people appareantly in my enviroment also have had these anxiety problems, and many said that its like an annoying kid that keeps poking, the more you give it attention the more it will come back, try to let it go over you like a wave from the ocean while youre at the beach, after some times the feeling should die down very much.
Thanks for reading and i wish everyone the best of luck with this bullshit that we have sometimes, i hope i could give some insight also :)

I was diagnosed with Vulvodynia in October 2023 after I had a BV infection that was treated incorrectly with anti fungal yeast infection creams. Then I was put on BV antibiotics for 15 days and still felt zero relief. I went to my primary care and she didn't know what to do so she tried to help me get into a gynecologist but everything was a 3 month wait. I managed to get into a gynecologist who was an old male doctor and he didn't even want to test me for infection. He told me to not wear "panties" and id be fine..
About 1 month later I was still in insane pain, unable to sleep from how bad the burning was. Couldn't get out of bed for days and couldn't find a doctor who was willing to help me. I was spending hours and hours every night looking on this exact forum trying to find a solution. This was when I finally convinced my primary care to help me get into a gynecologists office that specializes in vulvo pain. (I do not recommend this place at all, MUSC)
At my first appointment they told me "it's probably your laundry detergent and take these antihistamines. Let's also put you on birth control for your PCOS!" the antihistamines did nothing to help as it wasn't an allergic reaction. they told me no infection was present even though I had the discharge, oder, and pain all still from my previous positive BV test a month prior.
I called in a week later begging for help, or something to stop the pain as it was unbearable. They told me "you have vulvodynia which you will have forever and the only form of treatment is anxiety medication" (I was already on anxiety medication so this wasn't a treatment that was helping me for vulvodynia) They mentioned they had a doctor in office who specializes in vulvodynia so they got me an appointment but it took another 2 months to see him and in the meantime they put me on steroid cream. (highly don't recommend, this stuff burned so badly and I believe caused more issues rather than healing)
This was the worst 2 months of my life waiting for this appointment, scrolling this forum, hoping to find answers. When I showed up to the gynecologist who specializes in vulva pain, I brought my dad along with me. (obviously was NOT in the room during the appointment. But was there to help me stand up for myself to doctors. Which I highly recommend bringing a partner or family member with you to help advocate) After this doctor did a swab for infection he stepped out of the room and decided to talk to my dad while I got dressed again. This doctor talked to us in his office and said "you have vulvodynia. lets put you on an SSRI for your anxiety" I was confused because I never mentioned my anxiety, and usually for Vulvodynia you treat it with SNRIs, but he told me this SSRI would cure me. I believe he believed I only had vulvodynia from anxiety or trauma, yet I KNEW something more was going on.
When I got home I went to the MyChart website to view the notes this gynecologist put in the system and he marked me as having "high PH, not enough good bacteria, + 'her mom died when she was 14 so she's suffering from trauma" I sat there dumbfounded because at the appointment he said there was "nothing wrong" yet in the chart I had high PH and not enough good bacteria. I sent him an email and I asked him "how can I fix my PH and get more good bacteria?" because high PH, not enough good bacteria, abnormal discharge AND fishy order were all BV symptoms that I had and indicate an infection. He called me the next day and told me "haha well yeah but here's the thing. Go to college, work in a lab, and if you find the answer, let me know." then "wished" me luck. My dad heard this phone call and was so upset too.
This is where I was in pain for about 7 months. The burning hurt so badly and I could never wish that on ANYONE. I ended up taking just a generic SNRI anxiety medication that focuses on nerve pain so I could find a real cure in the mean time. Here were my symptoms and here is what I did to cure my vulvodynia. (I am not a doctor and everyone is different. its all about trying new things to help!)
I did one of those vulva microbiome tests online where you send in a swab and it tells you what bacteria are there. it showed me having 85% bad bacteria and 15% good bacteria. My recent visits to the gynecologist showed me having High PH during month 1's visit, month 3's, and month 6.
!!! I treated it by giving my body what it needed to heal. I am almost 100% positive that taking Vitamin D and K2 drops daily cured my vulvodynia which I never thought was going to be possible. !!!
I was taking Vitamin D, along with my SNRI. I only took the SNRI for 1.5 months to let my nerves calm down. I still am not sure if the SNRI did anything or if it was a placebo but I continued to take it while I healed my body.
I had tried cotton underwear because I heard it helps lower risk of infections but I found them to hurt me as they were scratchier than my no-show underwear. So instead, I wore no underwear while I was home. Only loose sweatpants/sweatshorts at home. I would wear no-show underwear if I went to town in jeans so this helped minimize friction and irritation.
When I would shower, I only used a bunch of water externally until I felt like I was clean. This was hard for me to do as I was using non-scented soap externally because I couldn't stand not feeling clean. But only using water helped wash away everything that needed to be cleaned, but would leave my body's natural oils causing the area to heal. Stripping the oils with soap felt like it was causing more problems at this time.
Long story short to anyone who just wants an answer: I believe I cured my vulvodynia with Vitamin D + Vitamin K2 drops, short term SNRI, wearing no underwear when I could, avoiding clothes that would touch the area to avoid any friction, no soap and only water!
It has been almost 2 months of me feeling NO PAIN at all. I don't take the SNRI's anymore, I can wear any clothes I want, I use soap sometimes but still try to avoid it. The only thing I still do is take Vitamin D.
I have had maybe 1 flair up within the past 2 months that lasted like 3 hours but I believe it was triggered by IC bladder pain. After drinking a bunch of water and avoiding vitamin C the pain went away! If anyone has questions I'll answer any. I had zero help and only bad experiences from gynecologist's in my area. It wasn't until I cured myself that I found an amazing gynecologist who has been so sweet so I am thankful to know I'll be able to go to her if I have any issues in the future. Trust that the universe will help guide you to the answers you need. I thought I was going to be in that terrible pain forever but trust me you will find something that helps you and it may just be on a random Tuesday when you least expect it.

I'm going to try to make this as short and to the point as possible. I'm in the US in Oregon specifically. I operate a collection of restaurants as an operations/facilities manager and work directly under the owner.
I have an employee who had many back related injuries before coming to work with me. Recently, he slipped on a wet floor and injured his back. These things happen. Gave him an 801 form sent him off to the hospital to get fixed up. Doctor says he needs to be on extended leave due to a disc problem in his back. Having 2 herniated discs myself I understand that.
He takes roughly 3 months off and is paid by our workman's comp. Doctor eventually signs off for him to come back to work with restrictions. I follow all of the restrictions to the letter until the doctor signs off that he's okay to go back to full time no restrictions.
He disagrees with this assessment and to my knowledge is in a lawsuit with the workmans comp company.
The owner and HR lead for my company have been really hands off with this and making sure I handle everything with this particular employee, and it's making me nervous. The employee has mentioned his lawyer so many times I fear he's going to go after the company.
If he goes after the company, so be it. But I'm afraid he'd be able to come after me specifically. In this scenario I assume the company paid lawyer would let me burn if it saved the company.
Would this be possible? To come after me as a person instead of the company? If I missed any information or details let me know I'll answer any questions to the best of my ability.

I am so sick of doctors and midwives not listening to me. I have extremely short cycles and short luteal phases. It took 15 months and a miscarriage to have my daughter and that was with a 9-10 day luteal phase. Now I’m trying for a second. I had a midwife appointment last week, and I asked for progesterone supplements because I think I have low progesterone problems after having my kid. I ovulate (LH and BBT), but I get my period 6-8 days later. She insisted that I haven’t tried long enough and refused to prescribe a supplement or even blood testing. I had implantation cramps Saturday, tested positive Monday, and then started bleeding today. All of my pregnancy tests are darker, and the miscarriage pain has been unbelievable. I am so sad and mad and angry. I could have kept this one if she had just listened to me!!!! I know my body!

Today was my 8dpo apt. Everything was perfect. Surgeon said incisions looked great and was so impressed with how well I’d taken care of them. I was no longer taking pain medications and felt comfortable.
On my way home from this apt (which is about 30 mins away) I get to 7 mins from my house and have an intense shock of pain with immediate swelling on my right breast. I had my fiance call the doctor immediately who told us to come back to the office. The entire drive there I’m hysterical and in agonizing pain, it felt like my boob was ready to bust open. My boob was rock hard.
I see the doc and he says yes that’s a large hematoma and walked out mid conversation to call the hospital to get me in for emergency surgery for exploration and evacuation of the hematoma.
After a couple hours of intense pain and anxiety, I finally get through the ER (took so long due to confusion of a scheduled emergent case and having to triage first - a mess of a story for another day), I nearly passed out with blood pressure dropping to the 80s. The swelling went from my boob to my clavicle and under my armpit.
Long story short, I had to have emergency surgery for a hematoma after 8dpo with no complications and feeling great. I’m devastated and so sad with this set back. I was supposed to return to work next week which I was excited about. I’m in pain again and the doc said this doesn’t usually happen this far out, usually within 1-2 days PO.
Had this happened to anyone else??? He didn’t find an active bleed which means it clotted off on its own. I’m just so sad ☹️☹️☹️