My first experience with TTRPGs was when I joined the DND club in 8th grade. This was a while ago so I might have gaps in my memory, especially considering my mental health at the time. Middle school was a very bad time for me and I've always been very creative and imaginative, so I was looking forward to finding an escape in a fun fantasy world and becoming someone else. That did not happen. Instead I got a very stressful year long task to stop my party members from destroying themselves and everything around them, while trying to appease a very harsh DM that was there via nepotism.
TLDR: My first campaign was a mess because my party members were absolutely feral, our DM got away with everything because his mother was the teacher leading the club, and I spent the entire campaign miserably trying to keep everyone alive and together so I was unable to roleplay or develop my character. I missed one session and they blamed me for something they did while I was gone that was so horrible it killed all of our pets, including many of mine.
To start, I'll establish the characters. Obviously I will not be using any real names, and I will use the same names for both the player and their characters.
First, my friend Michael (who was a pleasant surprise, considering I didn't know he had also joined the club) made a rogue. He was either human or half-elf or something. He's chill, but a little neurotic. He obsesses over things and will focus on a task until it's completion.
A boy, Elliot, was a human paladin. His character was the tallest of the group by far, which was funny when considering his friend, Rory, was a gnome cleric and therefore the shortest. They were kind of a dynamic duo.
Then there was Kaya. Kaya was my "best friend" throughout all of middle school. I refused to believe it at the time, but she was terribly abusive to me. You'll see a glimpse into how that manifests later. She played an elven... rogue. I pointed out that having two rogues was probably going to unbalance the team a little, but Michael made his character first and Kaya was edge lord supreme so she refused to budge. She named her character after a Homestuck character, then declared her alignment to be chaotic evil. Elliot said that his paladin would never team up with a chaotic evil rogue, and the DM agreed that it wouldn't make much sense for them to be in a party together, so she begrudgingly agreed to change it to chaotic neutral. Her play-style did not reflect that change.
Then there was me. My character was a half elf who was either a wizard or a sorcerer, I can't recall. She was chaotic good, at first, but that quickly changed to neutral good. She was kind and empathetic and absolutely nothing else because I never got the opportunity to develop her, and you'll see why.
As for the DM, Aiden, he was... interesting. He was a high school student that came to DM for the middle school DND club because his mother was the teacher that ran it. More on him as we progress through the story.
I remember being a little disappointed because one of the DMs for the club was a teacher that I liked a lot, but he was already running a campaign.
Session zero was just character creation, really, there was no actual play that meeting, which was fine since we were all new to the game and needed help making character sheets. They made us roll for absolutely everything, including height, weight, and age. I found this amusing because I got fairly good rolls and my "best friend" Kaya got a middle aged short and stout character which she was deeply annoyed about. I teased her about it a little because she always made fun of my height (I'm 4'10", and was probably honestly an inch or two shorter back then). She did not take kindly to the teasing and got really upset and demanded to reroll, but we were short on time and those rolls weren't even that relevant so we just continued.
Aiden made me roll for what spells I got initially, but he let me choose one myself. I chose Charm Person because I thought it would be pretty helpful. Then I rolled and got Feather Fall (and I think I also got Shield? Though I might have gotten it later). I was disappointed because I didn't get any that would do damage. We all started at level 1. I didn't get any cantrips... I think I asked about them but he said to not worry about it so I listened to him.
The first real session, we were put in a charming little town with an undead problem. It was a good setup and a simple introduction for us as new players. All of the townsfolk in that village were named Hector, which I thought was delightful. So we'll call the starting village Hectorville. We decided to browse the shops while it was daylight and get equipped. Given freedom of choice for the first time in a game like this, Kaya and I instantly went and bought 30 live chickens between the two of us. I think 10 were mine and 20 were hers. We never really did anything with the chickens, we just thought it was funny to have 30 chickens trailing us at all times. That was the only chaotic thing I managed to do the entire game. I also bought a horse, which took a huge chunk of my funds but I loved her, I think I named her Eclipse. I might have also bought a dog, though I could've gotten him later I really don't remember. Either way I spent a LOT of my funds on animals. These animals are important later.
When we were in one of the shops, while we were having a lovely discussion with the shopkeeper, Artist Hector, Kaya was looking around for any particularly valuable items. There was an expensive enchanted necklace in a display case, and of course her first instinct was to steal it. I tried to tell her no, as we just started in this town and we should stay in good standing with the locals, but she waited a bit and went for it anyway. I think she failed and Artist Hector yelled at her.
After we did the initial quest of taking out a few of the undead, we were tasked by an elderly man to head to a windmill a little ways away from Hectorville to get rid of the wolves that had taken it over. I think the windmill also had something to do with the source of the undead. I managed to convince the old man to guide us to the windmill, though he waited a good distance away for us to avoid getting into any danger himself.
Long story short, we were absolutely no match for these wolves. We were torn to shreds and had a TPK. We were all really bummed out, and Aiden gave us mercy for the first and last time. We woke up in Hectorville, but at a cost. The old man had dragged us all back, and he had died from the strain of it all. I was super sad and I suggested that we go pay our respects at his grave. When we got there, I tried to do a little bit of roleplay and say a few words in honor of the old man, but Kaya immediately jumped in and asked if she could dig up his grave and rob his corpse. I was absolutely horrified and pleaded with her to reconsider and have some respect for him. She wouldn't listen and I told her that he probably wouldn't even have anything good on him anyways since he was just an old guy from a small town. The other players seemed kind of amused but stayed out of it, though they seemed to think it was slightly too disrespectful to do as well.
Obviously she didn't listen and she found a shovel and dug up his grave. All he had on his corpse was like a copper piece, a ring, and a picture of his wife or something. She was disappointed even though I'd warned her that would be the case. She wanted to dig up more graves but we voted to leave the graveyard to prevent her from getting us kicked out of the town.
The pattern begins.
Our journey continues, we travel, we go on little side quests, we get into combat, I'm basically useless in most combat scenarios since I have no damage spells and only have like, a dagger.
I started to notice that the DM is a little harsh. He'll make fights a little too difficult, enforce strange rules, etc. It's fine, it's nothing we can't work around (at first). We pretty much never did any actual roleplay, and when we did we were very awkward about it because we never got the chance to practice and get comfortable. Every time I went on for more than a sentence or two, Kaya would butt in and take control of the conversation or end the dialogue entirely with one of her antics. My character was not allowed to develop into a person, she was just the mediator trying desperately to hold onto four leashes.
I genuinely cannot remember if there was a main quest. I think he just kind of kept throwing various smaller quests at us, which was alright but I'm not sure if it ever felt like we were actually progressing. It was basically just us doing whatever we wanted, which actually meant everyone else in the party getting to do whatever they wanted and me trying to keep everyone from dying, or getting too separated and off track, or putting a comically high bounty on our heads, things like that.
At some point we meet an incredibly tall orange man. I'm talking comically tall, and not proportionally that wide, and he had like a little smiley face I think. His name was Orange. We loved him dearly. He essentially joined the party, and we could call him whenever we needed him.
At some point Elliot and Rory had an idea. Establish the Church of Orange. We all agreed, I was very on board since it was funny and harmless and could be a good side task to work on for the duration of the game. We built a little chapel and recruited some members and Orange was kind of just chilling, he didn't seem to mind.
Elliot and Rory decided that their characters should get married at the chapel. This was a spur of the moment decision and was one of the better roleplaying moments. Kaya surprisingly didn't butt in at all but honestly I think it was just because she was a fujoshi and weirdly obsessed with gay men. After they got married, they asked if they could adopt Orange as their strange son. They did so, and doted on him a lot. They were very proud of their boy.
After a little, though, they adopted me too for some reason. It was fine for a second before it quickly devolved into them berating me and praising Orange for no reason at all. They were incredibly harsh to my character and I asked if I could disown them but Aiden said no. Eventually they must've not found it that funny anymore so they stopped and essentially dropped that plotline.
Whenever someone missed a session, Aiden would make one of the remaining players take over and play both characters throughout the session. This included making important decisions on behalf of the player, with absolutely no restrictions. I thought this was a very bad idea and suggested we just have the character follow behind quietly or be off doing something else for the session, but Aiden doubled down and I quickly relented. I made it a point to never miss a session if I could help it.
One time, a few months in, Elliot missed a session and I was assigned his character. We got to a point where we had to all jump over a river of lava, and we had to roll to succeed. I rolled too little for Elliot's character. I begged Aiden to let me reroll or just let Elliot's character live because it wouldn't be fair to kill his character off when he wasn't there. He said absolutely not and Elliot's character fell in the lava and died.
I was very upset about this, and after the session I went to the club leader. I told her what happened and how he was frequently very harsh in his rulings, making it more stressful than fun. He was her son, so she defended him and brushed it off entirely. She also said he was autistic, so I should just let him do whatever. I am also autistic, but I didn't know it at the time. I did, however, know that my older sister had autism, and I'd known several other autistic people in my life. I empathized and understood that autism can make it very hard to understand tone and social cues and such, I struggle with that myself, but that didn't mean that she should baby him and never correct him on his mistakes. While my sister and others treat it as an explanation, he treated it as an excuse.
I mentioned his DMing style seeming odd or ruining the fun to her several times but she always took his side, so eventually I gave up.
Thankfully, when Elliot returned, he wasn't upset with me. I apologized profusely but he was very chill about it. He was a little bummed but he was content with making a new character. I don't remember what character he made after that, honestly.
At some point Michael's character also died, but Michael is the kind of guy who takes that in stride and moves on no problem. His character wasn't really developed anyways so I'm not sure he was even that attached to him. His new character was pretty similar. He was honestly the person who gave me the least amount of headaches and he is still my friend to this day. Shoutout to Michael!
We had a portal arc where we keep finding portals and going in without thinking it through, much to my protest.
Antics ensue, things happen, we go to a sandwich dimension where everything is made of sandwiches, there's a sandwich version of Michael's dead character, I find a breaded chicken (alive) and I adopt it, it's delightful. Kaya is still a constant headache and getting us into trouble, the other three are no help and honestly Elliot and Rory get into an equal amount of antics but they make it less of my problem.
We go on a quest in the ocean in a Bioshock-like underwater structure, Kaya is Kaya and upsets a large squid and we spend the rest of the session in squid-court for squid harassment.
There's a point where we're about to have a TPK, we're all on low HP and there's seemingly no hope. I feel useless, magic fire is closing in on us, and I suddenly have an idea. I ask if I can use my magic shield around us to protect us from the flames. He says yes. FINALLY! I'm useful! It's a really good day for me!
Then the absolute worst thing happens. I miss one session. Just one.
I come back mid siege. We're the ones sieging the town. I'm very confused and starting to panic and the first thing I ask is "which town and why?"
They answer with 'Hectorville. I dunno, we felt like it.'
I am absolutely appalled. I'm gone for one session and they're laying siege to our starting town filled with helpless Hectors? It's been going on for a while apparently and the Hectors had started getting desperate. A few fight back, but Kaya is way too happy to kill them (very violently). I'm still reeling and trying to catch up with whatever is going on. I'm asking a bunch of questions and not liking the answers one bit. They said my character agreed to it, which is so incredibly far out of character that I'm mad at the DM for even allowing it. They could probably have done it even without my vote so why'd they have to add insult to injury? Finally I ask, "Hey, where's Orange? And please tell me you left our chickens and pets in a safe place."
Aiden says the party left them inside one of the buildings. I asked, "in town?" and he said yes. The rest of the party was still smiling and were confused as to why I was asking about this until I slowly clarified, "you left our favorite NPC, and all our pets, in a town that you decided to siege. You left our 30 chickens in a town that you are purposefully starving?"
The entire mood of the table shifted from amused joy to shock and upset. Rory and Elliot were worried about Orange. Kaya was upset about her chickens, mildly concerned about Orange, and very upset about her dog. Michael was still mildly amused, actually. Probably enjoying their karma.
It was the end of the siege and so we rush in to the town full of Hector corpses and stepping over the few that are alive but too weak and hungry to move or attack us, and we head straight for where they left Orange and the pets.
Orange is alive and well, but all the pets are dead. I'm absolutely crushed. I beg Aiden to tell me that at least my horse is outside. He says no, Eclipse was in the building with the rest of them. All the pets had been eaten by the Hectors and by Orange, and he mentioned that Orange even ate a few of the Hectors when the pets ran out. Suddenly Elliot and Rory are appalled by Orange and they hate him. The complete 180 was baffling to me. It wasn't Orange's fault they left him in there and then sieged the place. It was entirely their fault.
Kaya is incredibly upset and she turns to me at the table and she starts yelling at me. "This is all your fault! You should've stopped us!"
I yelled back, "how? I was sick at home! You shouldn't have done this, you can't blame me for it! I wasn't even there!"
But for some reason she kept insisting that it was my fault that they decided to lay siege and she kept saying very insulting words towards me, calling me a b**** among other things, and I started crying.
Kaya and I didn't talk for a few days after that. This was relatively common, actually. She would get into an argument with me on purpose, then blame me for it, and then she would refuse to apologize and not talk to me for days. She sometimes started talking to me again out of the blue like nothing had happened, but usually she would actually start talking again if I had something she wanted, like food. She would only ever apologize when I refused to give her food until she said sorry. It was really childish, even for middle school.
I was so incredibly upset with all of them, especially Kaya, and I was absolutely baffled as to how Aiden let them do any of this to my character and her property without my consent. I reiterated how unfair it was to let huge character decisions be made when the player isn't present. He absolutely did not care and he seemed to find it funny.
In the final session, Aiden allowed us to do pretty much whatever we wanted, even manipulate reality. Like a sort of non-canon sandbox. That was nice, I suppose, but it couldn't make up for how absolutely exhausting the whole campaign was for me. In the end, I'm fairly certain we were all only level 2. Basically nothing was accomplished over the year-long campaign except giving me more things to talk about at therapy after I graduated middle school.
Thankfully, this first experience with DND didn't turn me off of the game forever. I've played in a few mini campaigns since, DMed for a campaign, and I'm working on preparing to DM again. I would love to be a player at some point again for a proper campaign, though. I feel like I need to replace that awful player experience with a much better one.
Also Kaya and I cut each other off the second we got to High School. At first I would honestly have mild panic attacks every time I saw her in the halls, but I got therapy and eventually I was able to ignore her. Haven't spoken to her in over 5 years at this point and I do not plan to ever again.
Thanks for reading this far, I know it was a long one!

If you missed my grand entrance into the silver city, I recommend reading my last post.
If nothing here makes sense to you, start from the very beginning.
I apologize for the long period without news. I received an unexpected visit, and because of it, I was bedridden for quite some time. I'm grateful that my boss saw everything happen—I mean, saw what he thought was happening—and assured me that I would receive financial assistance while I recover.
Did you know that if you don't have most of your documents, the hospital bombards you with questions? It's pretty obvious, isn't it? It's a shame I didn't think of that while I was being taken there; I could have jumped out of the car and avoided the headache.
Jokes aside, the last few weeks have brought me answers. Maybe I have a chance to correct some mistakes. Maybe all of this wasn't just a desperate final act to gain favor with the Lord. This place has been much more useful than I anticipated.
Today's post is important because I finally have the chance to talk about the most precious information one can have when condemned to the abyss: how to escape it.
But before I start walking through my memories, I need to tell you guys how I ended up in this miserable state.
In short, I got into a fistfight with an angel.
And If you think I got all busted up, you should see the other guy!
As I mentioned in my last post, beings from the depths of Tartarus have been haunting me since my escape. Jailers of rotting flesh, insectoids with multiple faces that recount countless insults to my person.
With focus and meditation, I can ignore them during the day, endure them at night, and pray not to encounter them in my dreams. Although this last one always seems to happen, I usually manage to carry on with my life relatively well.
I just didn't knew that hell wasn't the only realm keeping an eye on me. With that in mind now, I should have noticed that something was wrong.
I have been having strange encounters.
A taxi driver who, instead of taking me to my apartment, guided me without me noticing to the nearest Catholic church and vanished with the car as quickly as he arrived.
A lady in the park who watched over me throughout the period I spent enjoying my late afternoon near the lake. I don't remember the color of her eyes, but something tells me she had more than one pair.
And the most recent one, a beggar who threw me against the wall as I exited through the back of the burger joint with my boss.
I couldn't see him arrive because he wasn't there initially; it's as if he had materialized from thin air in a matter of seconds.
I remember opening the door and heading towards the gutter, then an unbearable heat enveloped my body for a brief moment, and I was thrown against the wall.
At first, I also thought it was just a random bum trying to rob me, but the spectral glow in his eyes, the way reality slightly warped around his body, and his voice that echoed in my mind like the roar of a beast told me otherwise.
I... panicked.
You see, I am doing everything I can to avoid setting foot in Gehenna again. Until that attack, I clung to the comforting fact that I am out of that prison, that they can't hurt me anymore.
So when one of the soldiers from the celestial ranks pushed me against the wall, wrapping his heavy hands around my neck, a primordial fear crumbled my will. I could barely struggle as he roared in my mind.
"To dust thou returned, and cannot stay here. Thy soul, stained by the ashes of hell, is marked by the blood of the star. In thee, he sees a way out; in thee, the holy sees a mistake."
In his eyes, I could recognize pity and hatred.
He saw me as something so small and fragile, something to be protected from the claws of sin. One of the Creator's toys that had been so rudely broken and was now fighting against the rules that guide existence.
In his own words, a mistake. One that needed to be fixed.
Even with such a fragile appearance, his strength was tremendous. He squeezed my throat while whispering apologies in my mind. I could see demons approaching in the darkness, ready to grasp my soul in my final moments.
My heart racing, my mind almost devoid of oxygen, I could no longer think straight—I was going to die.
I stretched my arms against the wall, anything would do, any way to defend myself.
My hand closed around something cold and heavy, and with all my strength, I pulled.
Adrenaline is a powerful drug. I managed to wrench one of the rusty bars from the window and hit him with all I had.
The blow sent him into the street, where a van ran him over shortly after.
My boss insists that I had a panic attack and that in my altered state, I ended up throwing a loose iron rod at a school van, scaring some poor kid shitless, before fainting on the ground.
This brings me many questions.
Now more than ever, I feel paranoid, watched.
And knowing that people wouldn't even know if I were being attacked terrifies me.
I feel like my time is running out, something horrible is about to happen. So without further ado, I must fulfill my purpose and at least help you while we still walk in the same plane.
Hell is a place of torture and punishment, the reward our sins earn us in the afterlife, but it is also a prison.
It's not just for the sinners who wander the circles in search of a light that has long rejected them, but also for the original evil—the serpent that hisses hatred long before humanity even dreamed of existing.
The being forged when the Creator and the original angels still roamed the cosmos, shaping and expanding it.
He who was once God´s favorite, but has since fell with a third of the stars.
The one who commands faithful followers both on Earth and in the depths.
The concept of time in hell is complicated; some circles distort your perception, and two hours can suddenly become two minutes.
Combine this with the lack of natural light and claustrophobic confinements, and you will see that most of the slaves in the Silver City go through years like zombies, one day indistinguishable from the next, unaware if they have been there for a day or a decade.
In my fourth year as Jack's torture toy, this condition was affecting me aggressively.
Over the years, Jack had opened my schedule, allowing me to work under the orders of some of his followers in other regions of his kingdom, still confined behind the walls and never seeing the light of day.
My schedule was cruel and irregular, so much so that even today I must admit that I am not confident in stating that only four years have passed. In the morning, Astaroth would play with my mind; I lived a thousand lives with a thousand deaths, the profane void and the painful light of the vastness, my mind reduced to ashes and then expanded beyond the confines of my skull.
Immediately after, I was blindfolded and taken to the Pleasure zone, where I was forced to synthesize drugs and beverages from the blood of beasts and fungi.
In the floor directly below one of the main sales points of the Scarlet Maiden, the most purchased drug in the city, I worked for hours grinding and heating, accumulating terrible blisters and burns while my mind was numbed by the aroma and visions.
In a hot and cramped room, I was joined by five other slaves, and there we spent most of the day.
Deaths from overdose were common, some fell from excessive work, others were killed for pure pleasure. Our guards were always incredibly high and enjoyed mistreating us to maintain their sense of power.
Pawns so low in the hierarchy of the infernal king, probably venting years of spite in our daily sessions.
From time to time, the owner of the operation would come down to check the quality of the product, which was never refined enough, and would punish us for it.
By order of the king, he wouldn't lay a hand on me, but he made me watch and often forced me to participate in the torture of my colleagues. Fingers cut off, teeth pulled out, hot iron spikes on the backs of those who spilled even a gram of his precious product.
The things I was forced to do still keep me awake.
And always accompanying him, I saw her.
Unfortunately for Mice, the girl brought with me did not meet her end in his perverted arms, but in the hands of one of Jack's captains. Always with a distant look, drugged beyond her limit, following her master like an obedient dog.
Occasionally, she would watch me with a hint of sanity in her eyes.
While her master punished us. she often tried to approach me, but always without success.
When the work was done, I was put to sleep with gas and woke up again imprisoned in the palace catacombs, ready to endure another session of agony before sleep.
Day after day, this insanity continued, my long-diminished hope was exhausted, I became a shadow, a shell of my former self, ready to follow the next order, begging for mercy that was never granted.
This cycle continued until one particular night, when I woke up again below the castle, chained to the wall, with a decrepit old man beside me.
For some reason, Astaroth had let me rest that night; I should have suspescted something was wrong.
In the darkness, his face was hard to discern. I remember terrible dark circles, short and damaged gray hair. His eyes were sunken, pulling you in like ocean waves, his lips cut, and what seemed to be terrible gashes on his neck.
"So... it's true?" the old man murmured, breaking the silence.
"What are you talking about?"
"I've heard that madman's ravings many times, but this sounds different; there's some ground that supports the theory this time."
"I don't have time for the ramblings of a senile old man."
"Do you really have the Mark of the Beast?"
I stared into his eyes, recalling the same claim coming from my captor's mouth.
That fucking mark, up until then, I thought it was just an excuse that bastard Mice used to save his own neck, one that had cost me four years of confinement.
But there was a fearful weight in the old man's voice; his words carried a sense of truth.
"What is this damn mark? Ever since I set foot in this cursed city, I've been treated like merchandise, my mind scourged night after night because of this shit! You're all mistaken, you're wasting your time! Leave me alone!"
"Haven't you noticed anything strange, young man? We're just a bunch of damned souls in hell, but don't you feel that your stay has been particularly difficult? As if the very ground fights to keep you here?"
"I..."
"I've listened to the ramblings of the collector who found you; you were captured by an angel, weren't you? That doesn't usually happen. Something attracted it, just like the Succubus, just like the beasts."
"I'm just a wretched soul; there's nothing more to it. I'm only getting what I deserve! I should have been patient, Holly didn't deserve that, but she was going to tell everything! She was going to show the photos, and I was going to lose my job, my damn family, my house! I saw no other way! And now I'm paying for it, nothing more, nothing less..."
"Do you really think that's all there is to it? So many here with souls far more rotten than yours, yet still surrounded by pleasure and power. If hell worked as you think, why would Jack have what he has? Why would sinners be able to raise such a heresy as this metropolis?"
"I don't know, damn it! I just want all of this to end! I just want to go home!"
In the moments that followed, the old man pondered something in his mind, looking avidly into the darkness, fearing we were being watched, and then he said calmly, "I know a way out."
Despair is dangerous; the lack of a path, of a light, brings out the worst in humanity. Surrounded by eternal darkness, I was presented with a way out of torment, and it was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
"Don't say anything, just listen to me. If what I've heard about you is true, there is a chance. But I'll only tell you everything if you promise to take me with you. I'll withhold details as we travel to make sure you don't betray me. You'll do everything I say, how I say it, when I say it, or the deal is off."
"Wait, travel? To where?"
"The ninth circle of hell, of course, where the one who marked you is eagerly waiting. There, he holds a passage to a higher plane, where perhaps one can obtain a new body. "
A shock ran through my heart, a new body.
A way out of here.
"Even if all of this is true, how do you suppose we escape from here? It's not like Jack will suddenly repent of his sins and set us free overnight."
"That part I'll leave to you. Think of it as a test of your abilities. If you can get us out of here, it will serve as proof that you can handle the journey to the depths of the abyss. If we get caught, I'll know I was wrong about you."
We didn't talk for the rest of the night. I couldn't sleep either; how could I? My mind was restless with the possibility of salvation, an escape route from all the pain, a new chance at life. I just needed to get us out of there, but how? Trapped in the catacombs, without even the grace of seeing the city, I had no idea what things were like on the surface. I couldn't formulate a plan.
At least, not alone.
Patiently, I waited, the days passing by, torturous and merciless. But in that moment, I had gained a frightening resilience, with something to cling to, hope had flourished again, I thought not even the corrupted shadows of the city could shake me anymore.
Damn, was I wrong.
Finally, the day I had been waiting for arrived. You see, with so many slaves falling from excessive work and cruelty, an exchange would happen from time to time, and some familiar faces would appear when I was lucky.
On that day, when the blindfold was removed, I had to hold back from showing my happiness.
In the laboratory with me was John, tied to a wooden table in the corner grinding fungi with a leather mask, and in the middle, cracking open beasts' skulls with a giant hammer, was the gigantic man who had been captured with me.
A long day followed, the smell of sweat, blood, and drugs intensifying with each passing hour.
My eyes were keenly watching the movement of the guards, restless and anxious. It was almost a daily ritual, the moment they secretly entered the stockroom to 'evaluate the quality of the product.'
Precious few minutes when we were left alone.
As always, the guards grew tired of the trembling and tapping feet and retreated to the stockroom, threatening us with the loss of our eyes if we told anyone. As soon as the door closed, I got up and went directly to John.
As naturally as I could, I put on the leather mask and pretended to help him with the fungi while whispering by his side:
"I don't have time to explain, but I might be able to get us out of here, and I need your help to do it."
His calloused hands stopped working, dropping the equipment on the table.
"What?! Nate, is this true?"
"Don't turn to me, keep working."
Slowly, he returned to mashing the fungi and sorting them into small bags. He was trembling, making mistakes; hope in hell can easily shake anyone.
"What do you need?"
"Information, you work outside too, don't you?"
"Selling everything to the addicts who come from the lower city, but I don't know if I trust my life to anything that comes out of their mouths."
"That's something already. I need to know everything, even if it doesn't seem important. Please tell me, maybe we can-" — A heavy hand landed on my shoulder.
That behemoth of a person was standing right behind me.
He had heard everything.
Even with the constant cacophony of the equipment, the incessant blabbering from the upper store, and the lower tone of our voices, he had listened. He knew we were trying to escape.
"I want in."
"What?"
"A cripple and a pile of sticks? There's no way in hell you two are escaping this city without my help. If you want to do this, I'm coming along. If not, the guards will have a nice little surprise when they come back."
I could hear footsteps approaching. His expression made his intentions clear. I had no other choice at the moment but to include him in the team.
"Damn it, fine! Information, as much as you can get. When we meet here in the lab, we'll share everything we've discovered. Once we have a plan, we start taking action."
The door opened, and the soldiers entered, still with their masks down and their noses full of powder, seeing each of us quietly in our respective places.
In the following weeks, with the extra help, I was able to learn a lot about the flow of drugs and weapons in the city.
The Greek god of a man is named Yudi, and when he's not in the lab, he spends his days carrying metal plates to the lower city until his feet bleed.
With him, we discovered that about twice a month, the Collectors go out in droves through the gates toward Lust in search of fresh meat, taking with them an absurd amount of metal to supply the numerous outposts scattered throughout the circle.
John had discovered that a significant portion of the merchants in the Pleasure Zone use this expedition to transport a large part of their stock to the higher circles right under Jack's nose. On the night before the group's departure, the masters' most valued slaves are chosen to carry box after box to a certain warehouse in the lower city. There, the Collectors take their share of the deal and hide the goods in their cars before the day begins.
The collectors' parts are properly marked, and the rest is supposedly not opened.
In the darkness of the dungeon, my mind began to formulate a plan. If we could find a way to stay in the lab until the end of the shift, we might be able to infiltrate the merchandise and escape the Silver City through the front gate.
There were still many problems: the merchandise was moved at night, precisely when we were taken to our respective 'dormitories'. Our absence would surely be noticed. And how on earth were we supposed to even know which box would be moved to the warehouse and which would be sold the next day?
If we were to do that, we needed more information, but we also needed to be quick.
Up until that point since the old man's arrival, Astaroth and Jack had left me alone. If they decided to do another torture session, the Archduke of Hell would claim domain over my mind again and know exactly what I was planning to do.
I shivered, thinking about what horrors would await me after that.
Each night before bed, I updated the old man on the progress of my plan, asking for details on exactly how we would escape from that cursed plane when we reached the ninth circle. But that bastard never said anything, just looked at me waiting for my next move.
Afraid of losing the precious window that had opened for me, I foolishly decided that it would be better if we acted quickly and forced fate to smile upon us for a change.
When I woke up in the laboratory the next day, I took advantage of the guards busy fucking with their own minds to tell my colleagues the plan.
It was insane, but what in that pit of despair was coherent?
On rare occasions, the old man graced us with his presence in the laboratory; because of the agreement, he had to come along. I gave the excuse that he knew of a safe place where we could rest if we managed to escape. It wasn't convincing, but what other choice did they have but to accept?
When the four of us were working together, we would act. Thanks to John, I found out that we didn't always work the day shift in the laboratory; every other day, we spent entire nights in that damn cramped place.
If we caused a distraction, we could use the panic to invade the stockroom and hide among the merchandise that would be mislaid. The slaves would take us to the Warehouse, and from there, we would rely on luck for them to be too busy searching for us in the Upper City to find us.
We would have to leave before Jack was notified of our escape; with Astaroth by his side, there was no place in the city where we could hide.
Luckily, nobody wants to be the one to bring bad news to the psycho.
With the plan set, we began to act.
Having no idea the self-appointed King of Hell was already well aware of our actions.
The day I escaped from the Silver City was also the day I officially gave up my humanity while in hell.
Hatred, anger, they consume the heart of everyone, from the purest to the most honorable, not that I am anywhere close to being either of those things.
Even to this day, I still feel dirty, undeserving to be here now, and I know it all too well, but still, I do not regret the things I did to survive.
The plan had started well, with all of us together in the laboratory feeling anxious with every passing second, my stomach churning, my hands trembling. I didn't know how to act normally anymore, didn't want to raise suspicions, so I hyperfocused on my work, waiting for the end of the shift.
Cutting muscles from beasts, roasting ground fungus powder with a meat-like texture, slowly being numbed by the sweet aroma that always hung in the laboratory.
The sound of footsteps upstairs had considerably reduced, one of the signs that the shop was about to close, I looked at Yudi and nodded.
You know, the strange fungus that grows on the walls of the city has some interesting characteristics, they call it Dead Man's Fiber, to the touch it's like touching wrinkled skin, when ground and heated, a strange reaction causes it to become slimy and acidic, sticking to human muscle it devours it, generating a byproduct in the form of orange powder. The unrefined form of Scarlet Maiden.
In this state, the drug is highly unstable, and upon contact with water, it rapidly increases its temperature, which can give you horrible burns.
Or, if there's a sufficient amount, an explosion.
Throughout the day, little by little, we gathered five small bags filled with the byproduct, hiding them beneath the many empty bags scattered in the corner.
When I nodded, Yudi slowly rose and headed to the pile; the soldiers had once again left to get high, so he quickly planted the powder bags around the boiler, attracting curious glances from the poor souls accompanying us on that shift.
I hoisted John onto my back, the old man following closely behind, and we positioned ourselves at the edge of the stairs.
As soon as Yudi saw that we were ready, he lifted the water jug we received at the beginning of each day and threw it toward the boiler.
Then, chaos.
An explosion caused the floor directly above the boiler to collapse, powder and chemical gases making it nearly impossible to see more than a foot ahead, screams and cries of pain ensued.
One of the slaves who accompanied us was caught in the blast; an iron pipe from the boiler had pierced his neck, pinning him to the wall, the last customers of the shop above were caught in the flames that rose like a mushroom through the hole that opened in the floor.
Soldiers hurried down the stairs to control the fire, not seeing us pressed against the wall, we quietly went up as soon as everyone descended to control the damage.
John guided us to the stockroom; we had little time until the merchandise was moved to be saved from the flames.
I could already hear murmurs from outside; the distraction had worked, we had drawn attention.
Perhaps, too much of it.
In the darkness of the stockroom, it was hard to see anything; dozens of boxes filled the space, mostly unmarked. We had no idea which ones to break into.
"What now? Do we just pick at random? You told us you had a plan!" Yudi said, pulling at my shirt.
"Now is not the time for this!" John said somewhere in the dark. "Fuck, just...I don't know, pry open one of the smaller ones! There's supposed to be a way for the collectors to know which one to pick, maybe there's something inside!"
"Look at how many boxes there are! The fire is already spreading, it won't take long till-" Yudi was interrupted by a pound at the door.
"Open this fucking door already! I want my powder safe and sound, do you hear me! Useless bitch, hurry up!"
What little time we had was about to be over. I could faintly see scared eyes looking at me for answers in the darkness. My heart was pounding, and I just wanted to get out of there.
I noticed a pile of boxes that was more isolated than the others. Without light, it was hard to tell, but with no other choice, I hurried towards them.
The door was about to give in; we would have to rely on luck.
We opened two boxes, put on the leather masks in an attempt to avoid inhaling too much of the drug, and split up, hiding within the merchandise. I stayed with John, trusting that Yudi would take care of the old man.
The door gave in with a loud thud.
"Quick, you incompetents! I want every damn gram secured! And you, slut, get two more and get this shit out of here now! If Jack shows up, he's going to ask questions, and questions ruin an honest man's business."
The screams and footsteps, the smell of the drug making me dizzy, the smoke from the fire engulfing the shop. We were hurriedly moved to the elevator, and as I felt us descending, a wave of relief filled my heart.
Through the small cracks in the wood, I could distinguish the lower city slowly growing larger, the plan was working as intended.
I remember John smiling.
Maybe it was the drug, maybe it was the euphoria of the moment, but I remember being happy to have him with me.
...I miss him.
We were led to the warehouse, where they left the boxes and abandoned us in the darkness. I could hardly believe how well the plan was going.
Looking back now, I realize I was a fool.
The collectors never checked the boxes; they just loaded them onto the cars.
Before I could connect the dots, we were passing through the silver gates. Looking through the crack, I had once again the full view of that sin-ridden skeleton, and even as I moved away from it, I felt in my heart that I had already been touched by the city, and it tends to always reclaim what belongs to it.
The truck that was carrying us headed towards the Spire until the crown of the first circle was nothing more than a small dot on the horizon.
And then, it stopped.
"Why now? We haven't reached the spire yet, why stop now?" John whispered nervously in front of me.
Before I could respond, a chilling shiver ran down my spine upon hearing Mice's voice.
"Well, I think the little show has gone on long enough, hasn't it?"
The lid of our box opened, and I could hear the pumping sound of a shotgun. Above, Mice and two companions grinned maliciously at us.
"Well, well, what do we have here? Jack's new favorite little toy and his buddy! Care to tell me what you're doing in my shit?"
"Please, Mice, you can have the drugs, just let us go!" I pleaded.
Mice laughed, laughed so hard that his fucked-up lungs gave him a coughing fit. After composing himself, he ordered us to be taken out of the box. Yudi and the old man were already kneeling in the sand with their hands on their heads.
"Oh, fucking amazing! Hold on, let me get this straight. You really thought your dumbass idea would work out so well? Holy shit, buddy, you're really stupid, haha! Listen here, I'll tell you a little secret."
Mice approached my face, pressing the shotgun barrel against my chin.
"You would never have even found your little buddies again if Jack hadn't ordered it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on! Use your fucking head! Everything so convenient, so perfect, your whole plan worked because Jack wanted it to. Your encounter with the old man, the information that reached your colleagues, the timings lining up, the guards leaving, all observed, all permitted."
My face contorted in horror; once again, I was nothing but a pawn, a toy of that maniac. Astaroth would always watch us, the king always controlling every miserable inch of his kingdom.
"Why!? Why would he let us get this far?"
"Something in your ultimate fate pleases him. If he can't extract any information from you, he'll just let you guide him to what he wants, won't he?"
"But then, why stop us now?"
Mice chuckled.
"Ding ding ding! This is the question of the moment! Congratulations, idiot, some neuron up there still works as it should! You see, I never cared about that mangy mutt. Jack is just a little baby who luckily gained a lot of power, if he's so afraid of what your mark represents like this, it means that you pose a danger to his empire, through you I'll have the chance to take the throne that has always belonged to me!"
Mice was interrupted by a sound, Yudi laughing as he watched kneeling.
With a smile, Mice approached, knelt in front of Yudi, carefully dusted the drug powder from his shoulders, and asked: "And what's so funny about that to you?"
"It's nothing, it's just that you call us idiots, but if you think you can usurp the throne with two piles of muscles and a tough attitude, you're even dumber than you seem to be."
The smell of gunpowder invaded my mind before I could process what had happened.
I remember touching my head, something was stuck in my hair, I lowered my hand and saw myself holding a loose tooth. "I heard a howl of fear, but why fear?
My ears were ringing, I couldn't think straight.
Yudi was lying back.
His skull sprawled across the sand, stained by a scarlet puddle.
"Oops, my bad, loose finger and all that."
"You motherfucker!" I lunged toward Mice, the barrel of his gun slowly turning towards me.
"No, no, no! I don't think so! If you lot wish to stay alive and not get a one-way ticket straight to Lust, where we already have some scouts ready to capture you, I must point out, you will behave!"
All that, just to become someone's toy again, I could hardly believe it.
Looking at Yudi's body, I wondered if he had felt any pain, the harder I made it for Mice, the better. Maybe if I were quick, I could escape the collectors in Lust.
But then, while I pondered, others acted.
The old man lunged at one of Mice's companions, biting his neck with all his might. The second one, startled, reached for his holster, but John quickly grabbed his legs, bringing him down to the ground.
They were willing to fight, to die for a chance.
Mice turned the gun towards them, pumping the shotgun once again. "Damn it, can't you do anything right? Stay still! I can't aim like this!"
I saw the opportunity and grabbed the shotgun.
A deadly tug-of-war ensued, punches and kicks thrown in an attempt to take control of the weapon, the power to kill. I was malnourished, still weak, tired, and slightly high. Mice was an experienced Collector, a bloodthirsty killer who had faced demons head-on. It was only a matter of time before he overpowered me.
I gave up pulling the shotgun towards me and pushed it with all the weight of my body towards Mice. We fell and rolled in the dry sand, the gun stopping a few feet ahead.
I crawled to the shotgun, Mice holding onto my feet and pulling me into another exchange of punches.
I don't know what came over me, all the anguish, all the fury and fear accumulated until that moment exploded into rage. I gave up on the gun and threw myself at Mice, landing repeated punches to his head.
Again, adrenaline is a powerful drug.
Screaming, without full control of my arms, I punched, I punched until Mice's face was nothing but a red mess, until his arms stopped retaliating, until his chest stopped breathing. I continued until tears filled my eyes and sobs choked my throat.
I looked at my hands, and the weight of what I had done became clear in my mind.
Killing a person changes you; you can feel life slipping away from their eyes. Even in that place, where death is just the beginning of another cycle of pain, it still holds its weight.
The old man's screams of pain snapped me out of my trance. His efforts were admirable, but he was eventually thrown to the ground, where the Collector attempted to strangle him. I grabbed the shotgun, and out of pure instinct, I struck the Collector's head with all my strength. He immediately fell onto the old man, the base of the gun now adorned with a red stain.
Looking to the side, John was trying to wrest the gun from the Collector, without success. In the distance, I could see dust rising; we weren't alone. The king had noticed that something was amiss.
The old man took the gun from my hands and opened a hole in the Collector's chest, who collapsed like a house of cards onto the dry ground.
The spire was visible; we needed to go. With John in my arms, I ran.
"Leave him behind! He'll do nothing but slow us down!"
I could feel John's embrace tighten. He knew he was a burden; he knew what they would do to him if we left him behind. I could feel his fear.
Ignoring the protests, I headed towards the spire.
They were getting closer; I could discern the caravan amidst the cloud of dust.
Upon reaching the spire, Aecus's judgmental gaze bore down on us coldly. Remembering Mice's words, I approached.
"Oh Aeacus! King of Aegina, my heart is not pure for rest, my eyes are blind to injustice, and my fists only weigh for my desires. From dust I came and to dust I return, my soul judged to forever burn, so I beg you to open the doors to my torment."
His cold gaze remained unmoved; the Spire would not heed my words.
"This won't work. We need to go to the lower circles. It would be incredible if we could get Rhadamanthus's attention, but at the top of Hell, it's hard for him to hear us."
"What do we do now? I've done my part; I got us out of the city. Do yours and take us to the Ninth Circle!"
The old man looked at me, his eyes burning with fury; for a moment, it seemed like there was a dark gleam in his eyes. He calmed himself and approached the entrance.
The followers of the morning star follow his teachings in exchange for secrets and powers greater than a mere sinner could ever dream of. How to survive in such a ruthless terrain, how to tame and enchant demons and spirits, how to change oneself.
The old man whispered words in a convoluted language forgotten by time. Aecus began to chant in response, and the spire trembled in anticipation, the chamber taking on a sinister glow.
Without looking back, the old man said, "A wish for a wish, a will for a gift, Blood taken in exchange for bliss"
"What the fuck are you?" I asked.
"Nathanael, you have a choice to make. Do you want to escape Hell? Do you want your life back?"
"Of course!"
"Then John must die."
A chill ran down my spine. Nothing comes easy in the abyss. Only pain, only suffering.
John begged for mercy, and in my mind, I knew what I had to do, the price Minos demanded for his services. The old man merely watched me.
John fought, struggled until the last second.
He threw himself off my back and crawled through the sand towards the caravan, which was slowly approaching.
"I'm sorry, John."
I dragged him by the stumps of his legs into the depths of the spire. He tried to cling to the ground, breaking his nails in the process. I threw him against the inner wall, and in that moment, both of us could feel it.
The Spire would claim him.
There would be no turning back; death would be eternal. Nothingness would embrace him.
I had to ensure he wouldn't escape.
With tears in my eyes, I broke his arms, his screams still haunt me. Even to this day, I suffer from it; every morning, I hear his whispers, every night, his screams keep me awake.
I did what I had to do to survive.
I wished there was another option. I wished so much that John was still by my side, but Hell was devised in such a way that even something as simple as friendship is only allowed for punishment.
I tried to be quick. With one of the rocks from outside, I broke his knees, turned around, and left.
"Nate, please! Please, Nate, don't do this to me! You bastard, what did I ever do to you? I hope you suffer, you piece of shit! Burn a thousand times in the deepest pit of this place!"
When I left, a black mass flooded the chamber, and I could see as Nate was consumed by the Spire. Until the moment they were dissolved, his eyes never stopped looking at me in that way, with palpable hatred.
At that moment, I realized that everything I had suffered until then was justified, I belong in Hell.
I tried to warn; I am not a good person.
The mass took on a purple glow, and the old man quickly pulled me inside. The last thing I saw before disappearing was the red glow of Jack's ring approaching in the caravan.
The air in Heresy is putrid, a constant miasma floats in the air like snowflakes, slowly filling your lungs and eventually killing you.
Outside the Spire in the center of the 6th circle, I noticed for the first time a strange mark on the back of my left hand.
A delta adorned with thorns.
But at that moment, I couldn't focus on it; all I could do was cry, huddled near the Spire, wondering if it was all really worth it.
"Let's go, he doesn't like to wait."
"Who?"
He looked at me, with a somber look in his eyes.
"Samael, the Morning Star, the true Lord of Hell."
These memories pain me, my hands tremble, and my eyes filled with water make it difficult to write.
I also still haven't fully recovered from the beating I took from that angelic being, so for today, we'll stop here.
Hell is an eternal prison, where everything and everyone are made and placed in such a way that at any moment they can be used against you.
Only pain will bring you a semblance of security, only agony will bring you power.
In this insane realm of trades, I should have realized that even the way out would exact a terrible price.

62 yo F, no major health problems I had a puncture wound on my forehead, between my eyes that became infected with staph and spread to my sinuses. Since, I’ve been to minor care 3 times and the ER once, followed by a visit to my primary. My normal body temperature is 97.4. This whole thing began about 5 weeks ago, and as I mentioned Ive now been treated with 7 different antibiotics and I feel worse than ever. The original infection—the huge pus crater between my eyes— has resolved, but I still feel like I have an infection raging somewhere. I have chills, nausea, severe headache that radiates to my neck and shoulders. For the past week I’ve been bedridden. My temperature is now 98.8 which is elevated for me, but obviously doesn’t concern the medical professionals. My skin is beginning to look mottled and I’m getting scared about sepsis. I’ve lost 8 pounds since this all started and am currently at 97 pounds. I’m also a MRSA carrier and have passed my concerns on to each of the 5 providers I’ve seen but I don’t feel like I’m being heard.

every year around september 12 i(18m 5'8 white 200lb generic asthma meds and and allergy pill and sprey i do not take any addictive drugs) get a headache, chills and a runny nose depending on the severity of the infection ive had this issue all my life and i can always tell almost weeks in advance before it hits my signs are constant sneezes (bonus points if it smells bad or even has a smell lol) thickend snot and my asthma worsens a bit and i may get a little bit of a caugh nearing the bigone if the infection is a strong one that year and my question isnt why this happens idk how i didnt realize it before but im allergic to house pollutants they make me a lil runny and clog my nose a bit but thats not was causes the infection the snot build up makes pressure and food get stuck in my sinuses i just remembered how bad my nose would get clogged when i was about 5-6 and lots of objects coming out when i blew ik they were the foods i was eating but never understood why they were in my nose and i still have this issue to this day ive blown out goldfish bits, takis, ramen noodls, broccoli and potatoes my question is what is this and what would my doc do to help me if i bring this too him (also general or other advice is always welcome)

So I was really feeling bad today was day 8 I could barely get out of bed, I’ve had muscle aches, a fever, chills, headaches nausea. I have no rash, tounge issues, sore throat, etc. I went to urgent care and they did a rapid mono test (the pricking finger blood test) and it was positive. I have been in a google hole about this because I’ve never had mono but before I was diagnosed today I was convinced I had HIV because I had unprotected sex and I guess they have similar symptoms. I’m a female- should I be concerned about HIV or could this really just be mono? Please give me your advice!! I just am worried because it was the rapid test for mono and it said HIV can cause false positives?, I also did take an in home HIV test and it was negative but my exposures wouldn’t have been 3 months yet. One was in April and one was end of May. Just looking for some peace of mind!!

Woke up this morning feeling achy and headache. Thought maybe I slept in too long as I sometimes will get headaches if I do. Then I realized my skin feels sensitive to the touch. When I got in the shower, it felt like when you are really cold and get into a hot shower, like a stinging sensation. Maybe very slight chills occasionally. I checked and at one point I had a 99.4 temp but now it’s in the normal range. Still have pretty bad headache, overall body aches and still sensitive feeling skin. Really weird and I’m pissed since I have entered been sit in literal years. Is this the flu?

I just started having severe "puffy dry itchy eyes" a long time ago and stared being chronically really dehydrated for no reason. Took me two years to realize I was also having some sort of allergic reactions (GI issues, puffy face, very itchy eye corners, sneezing, chills, headaches). I'm just wondering if there's a connection, can allergies/MCAS/whatever histamine overload make you severely dehydrated to the point you just can't hydrate yourself?

Hi All, I am M(27), I am currently in Banglore and my girl ( 24 ) is in Allahabad, We were in a long-distance relationship
We had been dating for last 9 months and it was going great as well but in January end my family members started looking for a girl for me in an AM setup and I used to refuse every girl as I wanted to marry her and she was also kinda ready but never told me directly. Initially, my girl only initiated the idea of getting married as my Family members had started looking for someone and they were quite active. She told me she wanted to marry me and asked me to talk to my parents first as my parents are a bit strict about these things .
During Holi time we had a fight and it got sorted as well, After Holi, she went to her Mausi's Home for a couple of weeks with her Mummy, And she shared about me with her mausi in the hope that once the time comes she will help her to convince her family specially her mummy and papa about me as we both are from different castes ( She is OBC & I am ST ) .
I also shared about her with My Family members (Bhaiya, Didi, Jija & Bhabhi ) except Papa & Mummy ( as their thinking is still a bit old about all these especially Papa ), as they will understand and help to convince Papa, Mummy for our weddings.
But Once she came from Mausis Home She started behaving differently and things started turning bad , she starts ignoring me my texts and call I had to convince her then she told me that Mausi is saying your papa won't agree for all these and all , Intially the girl only said to me that caste won't be an issue at her home , everyone one is chill and multiple people have gone through Love Marriage setup and also she said if you are such a good guy earning enough and from a Tier-1 Enginnering college , then it would be easy to convince her family not an issue , After listening to all these , then I only got into a relationship with her then only I became serious as I never wanted anything short term or anything.
But after coming from Mausis home, after every 2 days, she was getting changed her behavior and all and she starts ignoring me and every day saying breakup again and again.
I used to do a lot of things her, I am Literally in love with her, This is the first time I fell for someone before that I was focused on my career and family responsibilities so I always avoided dating anyone. Once our family got stable then only I started dating so basically last year only I started dating and she is my first Love, She had a relationship in past for 3 or 4 years.
She was trying to break up with me again and again and I was convincing her again and again
Last month she broke up with me and cut me off fully, The Last time I cried in front of anyone was when I was in class 3 or 4th after that I never cried in front of anyone, even my grandfather whom I loved so much when he died ( I was in class 10th ), I didn't cry, I stopped my tears coming down, now after all these years I cried for her I cried in front of her on phone multiple times to not leave me alone, I was shattered, I was crying all night alone in my room no one was there to tell me or stop me, I live here in Banglore alone in a flat with my flatmates, I was in my room for 3 days straight, didn't drink water for 2 days and hadn't food for straight 3 days, I was shaking and shivering and I was getting sudden panic attacks and sudden burst of emotions, I never cried this much in my life, I was getting suicidal. after 3 or 4 days I got up and went to her hometown to convince her.
Reaching Allahabad was also painful, I wasn't getting any direct flight to Allahabad so booked for Varanasi flight from there took a bus to Allahabad and stayed there for 2 days to convince her. It was such a harsh weather that I puked multiple times in Allahabad in such a hot and sunny weather, as a person who hadn't had food for 3 or 4 days it was hard for me.
I gave her a handwritten note and a flower bouquet we had dinner and she got convinced as well and that night I accompanied her to home and I was happy, but deep down I was afraid, as again coming to Allahabad when you are not mentally and stable and a bit ill as well and you hadn't had food, sleep and all and coming all alone In hope that I will convince her, I even didn't know how to find her as she had blocked me and whether she will reply me on insta or not ? But I was happy that she was okay after meeting me and she was happy and things will be okay, next day I gave her chocolates that I had bought specially for her during my trip to Bali and we talked and had lunch together and things were fine I had plan to go on Monday but since I was not feeling well so I left on Sunday only and left for my Hometown ( Varanasi ) instead of going to banglore .
But after few days she again started behaving the same and within few days it was again came back to normal and 3 days before I came back to banlgore , she totally ignored me like I never existed at all because of that I lost my senses like I couldn't believe and had an minor accident as well because while riding the bike I was so in grief that I couldnt' control my self on a highway I almost had a near to death experience , nothing happened to me just got a minor injury nothing . I stayed for 10 days at home that time , and in last 3 days she totally cut me off and I was shattered and since I am home I couldn't cry as well 24*7 everyone used to be with me only as I was home after a long time ..
I thought before going to banglore Ill go and meet her once again but I had one important project going on so I had to leave for banglore, I was holding my tears for so long that the day I again came back , the moment I sat in the cab for my flat I started crying in the cab I was crying for straight 1.5 hours while way back to my flat , this is also a kind of first time for me crying in front of a random guy . this time I couldn't control my self I cried like a baby in front the driver , I was trying hard to hold my tears and hiding my face, the cab guy understood and he was also behaving like he is not seeing me. once I reached home I cried and cried whole night , I called here msged her she didn't picked my call didn't reply .
So for 7 days I didn't call or text her I was trying my best to be first a stable person , one day one of my friend , she said , jab itna mehant kiye hi ho to ek bar last time try kar hi lo, So I tried again and called her msgd her and but rat ko bat huyi us din to but she was same like earlier stone cold and , she is saying she lost interest in me , ab wo vibes nahi aati we are different and all , also why should I settle for less If I can get better ( her mausi's world I guess ) , she saying mummy bol rahi this kuch Acche riste hai don't worry and all and blah blah , and she in past while breaking up time also said once I was trying and I thinks its not working anymore .
that day I got devasted more, as earlier I thought because of family pressure and caste issue she is backing but this time I got her different side , I still couldn't believe I thought these are her Mummy or Mausi's word not her because the girl whom I know cannot do all these to me she is open minded and a good person and she was the one who iniated the idea for marriage and opening up to our family.
that time meri didi ka ek bat mujhe yad aaya , Didi ne mujhse bola that, ki tum usse pyar karte ho aur Shaadi karna chahte ho , kya wo bhi tumse pyaar karti hai na ?
that night again I cried and again started getting headache and panic attacks and started shivering and again suicidal thoughts started coming.
Now last week one of my friends she told me about one new caffe in Banglore to try out , so we went and we did shopping together , while coming from there she was forcing me hard to go to her flat and was saying she is alone at her place her flatmate she is not there and she was trying hard to convince me for watching Netflix series together and she was breaking the touch barrier again and again I can sense what she was implying so I kept denying not in mood and all so that I can go to my place.
so I came back to my place, and became emotional and sad as I never ever even thought of touching a girl other than her , Since the day I meet her It became so different for me, I lost interest in every girl except her I stopped talking to all other girls from my circle so that she never feel insecure and also I lost interest as well, She is the only girl whom I can think of spending my life or anything . So next day I again tried to contact her , maine call ya msg nahi kiya hota but I coudln't control this time, I cannot think of another girl anymore except her.
I wanted to talk to her , msged her in morning on Whatsapp did some texting but we couldn't talk on phone as she was busy , then again I tried to call in afternoon but no luck then again in evening and again at night time , this time I also lost my patience and maine bhi bhala bura keh diya aur gusse me as a slang gali nikal gaya ( gali uske liye nahi that wo as a slang hi nikla tha ) within a seconds we cut the call she blocked me again and I texted her use bhala bura bola and all usne bola, aaj tumne gali dekar dikha diya and I am proud of my decision and all I also said you used me to get over your ex. and blah blah some random things like you were depressed I helped you overcome this and I also don't want jo har 2 din me palat jata ho apni bat se.
the line that she said na ki, I am proud of my decision , it hurt me , sari rat yahi line meri dimag me chalta raha, I am a overthinker guy, so ye thoda jyad hi hurt kar gaya. Agle din subah maine use snapchat me msg kiya ki mere sath kuch hua tha I felt bad I thought only you would understand isliye tumko ping kiya tha convince karne nahi aaya tha. and sorry for my kal ke behaviour ke liye. bye take care. its been a week and she hasn't read that msg and and I guess unfriend bhi kar diya hai ( waise snapachat usi ke wajah se hi install kiya tha warna I hate snap )
In Past I used to write shayari and poems for her and used to tel her the lines that I used to write for her. I also used practice her favourite songs and used to sing and record and send her. In past she used to to say to me you are a perfect package, anyone would be lucky to have you , she used to say tum gym bhi jate ho , daru waru, ciggrete wagairah kuch nahi karte ho ghumne phirne ka shauk hai family responsibilities handle karte ha , itna kamane ke bad bhi attitude nahi hai , tumse aadha kamane wale ladke bhi udane lagte hai , tum perfect ho and all she used to be very happy with me , rat bhar bat karna and other plannings and everything , I was happy being single but once she came to my life I became more focussed, I still cannot belive she got changed yahi sab sochta hu to lagta hai ki ek bar phir try karu.. I love her.
Now today while talking to my sister she again asked me about her, I told her ki Didi aisa kuch nahi hai bhool jao , Did bolne lagi ki Papa mummy ko humlog mana lenge bas tum ready ho to bata do. maine saf mana to kar diya
but after that I got emotional, I thought I will write a letter and post it and will try to convince again I wrote a long 5 page letter lying right now on my bed but I don't know what to do. Please help me what should I do ?

Hi, 22 year old female here, I’ve never had Reddit before but I figured I’d try talking to people on here cause I haven’t had any luck anywhere else. I’ve had severe endometriosis and chronic pain for most of my life, ever since I got my first period it’s pretty much been hell for me. As a teenager they put me on every type of birth control there is, in general I’ve been told my period pain is normal, getting ovarian cysts is normal, my scans were clear and that it was probably just stress. By the time I was 20 I couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get surgery for it. Once I got the surgery the doctors found I had stage 4 endo, it had also spread to other organs, and lots of scar tissue was found as well. I was told they removed all endometriosis that was found. After surgery, I felt decently better for a while, the best pain wise I’ve ever felt in my life which was a huge win for me. Fast forward to now though, two years after surgery my pain is getting much worse again. My treatment plan at the moment consists of a Liletta IUD and I was previously also taking Norethindrone as well but I stopped cause I felt it was too many hormones for my body. In addition to worsening pain my periods have returned. I stopped getting them after the IUD was put in but they have been back for the past 6 months I would say. About a month ago I went to my OB explaining all this, with my main concern being my periods returning. In fact, it’s been almost more than just periods, with lots of breakthrough bleeding all the time which really increases my daily pain. My doctor had explained to me that he thought I had a hormonal issue due to the IUD and prescribed me estrogen tablets to take for 2 weeks. I did notice improvement with those, they stopped the bleeding and I felt slightly better than usual. But as I’m writing this I am stuck in bed and you guessed it, my period has returned. I obviously plan on going back to my OB cause clearly I need more hormones or a new medication or something. But to be honest, I am at a complete loss with how to help myself. I’ve had this disease for over a decade now. I have spent thousands of hours crying, bed ridden, sleepless nights, days in the hospital, trying every OB around, staying home from school, not being able to do what I want or anything for that matter. I have mourned my old body and accepted my new dynamically disabled body. I got a surgery by myself for myself, my point here is that I could write a book on endometriosis with all my experiences. I am also tired of being on hormones and on top of daily pain I’m always feeling sick. For context, I have insane chronic fatigue that never gets better no matter how much I sleep or what I eat or vitamins I take. I also have really bad nausea every morning, I get headaches nearly everyday. I’ve also been told I have suspected IBS, but every medication I’ve tried with my GI doctor has caused a lot of problems for me. I am also always freezing, and a lot of the time I feel as if I have the flu and I don’t. I’ll experience body chills/pain in my muscles/overall unwell feeling. The only way I know how to describe it is it literally feels like I am sick. Circling back to my main point, which is that I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and I feel I’ve kind of reached a plateau point where nothing is really able to help me anymore. I have lots of products to help me, I have an OBI belt, heating pads, ice packs( if you have endo you know the drill with all the stuff we use to help us) And lately I feel as if they really don’t do much for me. The older I get, the worse I feel. I am in a constant cycle of doctor appointments, pain, depression, medical debt, and disappointment. So this is me asking, is there anyone else out there? That has some of the same problems or struggles as me or feels the same way I do? Or if you work in the medical field and have knowledge about this sort of stuff I’d accept that too. Thank you for taking time to read my post. :)

Given that you are experiencing a wide range of symptoms associated with chronic Lyme disease, including a history of a bullseye rash (erythema migrans) which is a hallmark of Lyme disease, it is important to seek medical attention promptly.
Here's a summary of your reported symptoms:

1. Fatigue
2. Joint pain and swelling
3. Muscle aches
4. Headaches
5. Cognitive issues (e.g., memory problems, difficulty concentrating)
6. Sleep disturbances
7. Neurological problems (e.g., numbness, tingling, facial palsy)
8. Heart issues (e.g., palpitations, chest pain)
9. Mood changes (e.g., anxiety, depression)
10. Fever and chills (in the past)
11. Swollen lymph nodes
12. Eye inflammation or vision changes
13. Sensitivity to light
14. Neck stiffness
15. Digestive problems (e.g., nausea, abdominal pain)
16. Dizziness or imbalance
17. Shortness of breath (maybe)
18. Rash (bullseye in the past)
19. Flu-like symptoms

These symptoms suggest a possible Lyme disease infection that may have progressed to a chronic state. It is crucial to get a thorough evaluation from a healthcare provider who can perform the necessary tests and provide an accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment. If Lyme disease is confirmed, early and adequate treatment can help manage symptoms and prevent complications.

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- - - - -
It had been a few weeks since Altier was brought to the run-down shack that his black-scaled companion likely called home, and he could now comfortably say he was accustomed to the…household’s routine. The kobold typically left at the crack of dawn, returned a little after noon, and occasionally left again to forage until nightfall. When the weather was bad or there wasn’t a particular need for something, they half-heartedly chased their rabbit around for a bit, which usually ended with a bout of quiet petting while everyone got ready for the night. It was always amusing to see the energetic side of what he had come to know as a relatively lazy loaf of an animal. As for the routine of the ferrorabbit in question… Well…it was at least more interesting than expected.
Hoppit would begin his own series of activities as soon as his caretaker left—the first of which being a check of every nook and cranny in the shed. He sniffed at anything that caught his interest, varying from morning to morning, but he gave every object or corner its due attention. Once he was satisfied with that, he would eat some of the ragged plants that made up most of his diet, take a drink from his bowl, then jump onto the tro— table and plop himself down, his ears pivoting towards the door. It was hard to say if the lounging spot had been established before Altier’s arrival, but it was somewhat amusing to pretend that the little rabbit was standing guard over his core—if it wasn’t for one particular part of the morning ritual, that is.
Indeed, the ferrorabbit had a habit of licking the obsidian orb that sat in the middle of the room, which thankfully didn’t seem to perturb the system enough to give Altier a headache. He was confused when it first happened, but it was commonplace enough now that he barely acknowledged it. A part of him liked that he was getting attention as a core, even if it was delivered via a strange grooming method. The closest he got to being acknowledged as something other than ‘the dungeon’ was through an unfortunate misunderstanding that he could never properly rectify. He supposed that was hardly worth thinking about now, though; too much time had passed for there to be anyone left to correct. The little oddity of his mornings would have to suffice.
There wasn’t much to comment on as far as the rest of the day’s happenings. Hoppit would end his loafing by shaking his head and ears in a way that filled the silence with soft clacks, give the core a customary tongue bath, then jump off the table to nose his way out of the shed through a hole that was hidden by the storage cart against the wall. Where the rabbit went was anyone’s guess, but he always returned before anyone noticed he was gone, and often did so while covered in small cuts and scratches. Any blood from the lacerations was quickly licked off before it could be seen by the kobold, and in the event that the scaly caretaker happened to return earlier than expected, Hoppit would scurry over to the bundles of blankets to finish the cleanup in secret.
Today looked to be following the usual pattern. The kobold left bright and early with various gardening tools and a wooden pail, and Hoppit had since set off into the great unknown for one reason or another. Hopefully, he returned less injured than usual. It was frustrating to admit that Altier had begun to grow rather fond of the fluffy creature, and seeing the thing come back hurt was bothersome. Was it off looking for food? There wasn’t a whole lot given to it, so that was a possibility, and it could be getting into fights over whatever it found. That still didn’t explain why the animal was so thin, and Altier didn’t have enough to go off of to think of a potential solution. He wanted to help it in some way, like by summoning a creature to act as an escort, or maybe just by manifesting something edible like he once could. No, he could only stare at the ‘Synchronizing…’ that occupied his menu, wishing he had more information to work with.
He never thought he would miss the bombardment of notifications and their lingering presence that filled the edge of his mental vision; at least with that he could surmise enough to hazard some kind of action. Even knowing why the menu was acting the way it did would be a start. Yet, try as he might, there wasn’t a history for him to reference anymore, and he had nothing to work with. He was confident the last message had asked him to ‘accept’ something, then took his befuddled ponderance as an answer, but he was no closer to an explanation for what it wanted, nor why it prompted him in the first place. He just didn’t have another experience to compare against, since nothing like that had ever happened before. Not that he was ever in much of a position to allow it.
The entire purpose of having Altier inhabit a core was for him to become a dungeon of Decay, which entailed all the skeletons, poisons, acids, and whatever else came to mind when one pictured the concept. ‘Living’ creatures were something he only had the chance to experiment with near the beginning of his new existence, though he never dabbled past the first few insects before transitioning to the mindless undead. Having a thinking, feeling, breathing entity touch his core was a rite reserved only for the adventurers and soldiers that bested his trials, and that was usually a painful experience. Now, he had spent what he could only guess was hours being held by a kobold, followed by having a rabbit bump against him, and neither felt like what he came to expect. Instead, both had led to a completely novel reaction from the system. The strange circumstances put him at a bit of a loss as to what it all meant for him.
Sure, he could dismiss the deluge of errors from his companion’s involvement by pointing to the numerous ‘corrupted’ messages before it, and Hoppit was a part of mostly unexplored territory, but the lack of clarity nagged at the back of his mind constantly. Being exposed to activity after potential decades or centuries of unchanging solitude made him despise the informational dead end. If he couldn’t make sense of the rabbit’s circumstances, then he didn’t have much hope of deciphering the reason for why his system was misbehaving so terribly. He also didn't know much about the one who owned the decrepit holdings he was housed inside.
He still wasn’t sure what drove the kobold to take him from the cave. His suspicion of becoming traded goods fell flat after the first week or so, and he hadn’t noticed any cult-like behaviour, which was promising. Granted, a lack of nefarious behaviour didn’t mean there was a lack of nefarious intent, but he didn’t get the impression his companion held that either. The kobold itself didn’t seem quite settled on an opinion of his core, though it was up for debate if the hesitation was due to knowing what he was or not. They seemed to mull something over before bed each night, yet never reached a satisfactory conclusion, staring at the obsidian orb through weary grey eyes until they eventually forced themselves into sleep.
Whatever the underlying reasoning for his abduction was, he had observed enough to know that the kobold didn’t deserve to live in destitution. As beaten as the shed might be, they cared for it as best they could, and did so without a single groan or grimace of complaint. The floors were cleaned with a tattered rag and fresh water, dust was removed regularly, and any stray mess that Hoppit made was dealt with promptly. They even took the time to wipe off his core, which was possibly where the ferrorabbit got the idea to start licking him. The only time Altier had seen discontent from the kobold was when they didn’t find much during their foraging, and thus couldn’t give any treats to the excited and bouncy herbivore.
He wasn’t aware that a creature’s face could make such a painfully broken expression, and he was quick to decide that he never wanted to see it again.
Vexingly, his metaphorical hands were tied; a dungeon could only influence their Domain, and given the state of his system, not even that option was available to him. All he could do was glare at the rotting wooden beams that held up the roof and remember when such an issue didn’t exist. It would have taken a mere flicker of thought and a paltry sum of mana to mend the struts when he was a proper dungeon. He could even outright reinforce the structure by weaving in other materials, leaving the appearance as it was while making everything stronger than iron. Well, he once could. Working with other affinities was something that came to him after absorbing the coloured motes left behind by adventurers, and the accursed stone that stole his mana had taken that ability as well.
An attempt was made anyway, his will ordering the deteriorated wood to absorb any trace metals from the ground, but it was no use. He couldn’t feel the iron or stones beneath the shed like he would have been able to before, all but confirming his suspicion that his connection to the Earth element had slipped away. Nature was much the same; the only way he knew when Hoppit had returned most days was from the subtle noise and the essence of injury. The other attributes—Air, Flame, Luma, Shadow, and so on—were ones he never experimented with to any real extent, so it was less noticeable when he lost his grasp on them. Perhaps they faded early. Either way, all he had left was a waning cognizance of his own alignment, and that wasn’t of much use to him. If he had any appreciable mana income, then perhaps he could do something, but he wasn’t even sure what the upkeep of his current Domain might be. It was entirely possible that he was running on a deficit, which would offer a reason for why his system had been so—
[Do#$@n Ex@#d$%^&d! CRe@#r H-H-H-HoPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP—]
[Errrrrrr—]
[Sy$%^hroni%^$zing…]
[Creeee-tu— Hoppit ha@$ esttttb-hed terrrrrrr-ity f^#% t$e dun@&$n!]
- - - - -
“Well then,” he mumbled to himself, taking in the strange scene behind the shed. For one, he could actually view a small distance beyond the structure now, and two, there was a rather proud-looking Hoppit sitting on his haunches before a pair of significantly less prideful examples of the species. They looked quite a bit bigger than the lazy loaf Altier had come to know, yet they were more cut up and dejected than his furry friend. That answered where the injuries had been coming from, he supposed. Hoppit was probably running off to bash heads with whatever animal population existed here beforehand, and they had only just reached a consensus on who was in charge. Impressive.
One of Hoppit’s ears turned back towards the shed, his head following suit as he gave a lagomorph’s approximation of a ‘Look what I did!’ smile. Altier blanked out mentally, but didn’t have time to question anything before the new leader of the local rabbits imperiously pointed a paw towards the surrounding forest, which was equally surreal to witness. Most surprising of all, the…subordinates? The other ferrorabbits did as commanded, keeping their forms small as they took off into the foliage. Soft clacks came from Hoppit’s pleased shake of his head, then he too left the area with only a slightly lopsided bounce to his stride.
The man-turned-core could only gape at what he saw. Were animals always so…expressive? Had Hoppit heard him? What in the world was happening? Why had Hoppit’s personal conquest led to Altier’s Domain expanding?
He lamented not having fingers, nor temples to rub with them. His system was a garbled mess of errors and inconsistent messages, his residence was falling apart at the seams, his companion was someone who abducted him from the dungeon, yet never did anything past that, and his first real experience with an animal was turning out to be more confusing than he thought possible.
All of this was after an unknown amount of time spent commanding legions of undead to strengthen the very people who he would later learn had lied to and manipulated him, making him into a nightmarish entity just to bolster the power of their forces. He almost missed the days spent gazing out of a mossy window. At least then he knew what to expect.
Nothing made sense anymore.
= = = = =
The soft sound of roots ripping free from soil suddenly stopped, only to be followed by a dull thud of Ceele’s palm slapping against the ground to catch her fall before she landed on her rear. She righted herself with her tail and tossed the stubborn weed into a pile with the others. No matter how many mornings she did this, they always seemed to replace themselves faster than she could remove the pesky things. A sigh slipped from her muzzle as she set about grabbing the next one embedded in the vegetable garden.
Aches and spreading stiffness flared up, but went ignored as she neared the end of her duties, though she was well aware that they would come back with force once she tried to settle down for the day. The impending soreness was an inevitable byproduct of spending so much time working. Still, she knew that if it wasn’t for the kindly old couple that allowed her to call their shed home, she would still be sleeping beneath the stars while making sure nothing tried to get at her Hoppit. Even if it was just a part of the deal, they were owed this much in return, and she would see it done properly.
The sun bore down on her back as she did her usual tasks, which was a departure from the slightly overcast weather as of late. It looked somewhat promising when she checked in the wee hours of the morning, yet as her gardening duties dragged on, so too did the intensity of such a clear sky. A disappointed glance at the empty wooden bucket on the edge of the field was quickly corrected. She hadn’t thought to refill it at the river after watering the crops, and her parched throat was making its protests known, while also reminding her that there wasn’t much water left at home either. One more thing to take care of when she was done.
A gruff cough brought her attention towards the old kobold resting his back against a tree some distance away, safely shaded from the unforgiving rays beaming down. Her displeasure at having yet more to do was hastily wiped away. She was undecided on what to think of the detached audience, but looking so sour while upholding her side of the agreement wouldn’t reflect well on her. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen it. Not that she could tell if he did; he always had the same expression when he watched her work. The elder kobold’s arms were crossed, a finger tapping absently against his bicep, while his tail sat motionless on the grass, the muddy red colour of his scales standing out amongst the greens and browns. ‘Makis,’ was his name, assuming her memory served.
Makis had taken to observing her every so often, usually propping himself against this or that at a distance, the unwavering scowl being as unnerving as it was belying of his age. Somewhat loose skin sagged a bit around his jowls and neck, yet the rest of his face was still taut from how much time he spent examining red-hot metal, and his arms were marred with countless burns and cuts from his profession. He held an oppressive aura, though the crinkles around his eyes and muzzle suggested he smiled as frequently as he glowered, even if Ceele was yet to see the former. There was only the same judgmental expression aimed at her when he was around. She could only hope that he didn’t take offence to some unintended slight, but she didn’t know him well enough to say what might be considered one.
They hadn’t spoken since she took up residence on the outskirts of his land. His wife was the one to introduce them, but it was quickly established that he had no intention of being a chatty individual. He led Ceele to the shed hidden amongst the trees on the edge of the property, then dismissed her with only a grunt coming from the elderly kobold. She supposed that it was for the best. Her experience in socializing was centred around convincing others to employ her, and there hadn’t been much of an opportunity to expand her horizons while living a life on the road. If that had been the end of their interactions, she would have swiftly written the terseness off, but he appeared every few days, taking up residence beneath the shade as he watched her work, never speaking a single word. At least he didn’t openly protest her presence, yet she figured that would be easier to manage. He wouldn’t be such an enigma then.
There wasn’t a whole lot she knew about him besides his penchant for ‘supervision,’ and anything beyond that was what his wife had volunteered during the rare opportunity they had to chat. She was told that Makis worked the smithy out front, and although he had retired from doing so in an official capacity, she could still regularly hear his hammer as she tended to the garden, so she figured he kept himself busy most days. It made her wonder what was so interesting about a vagrant like herself, but when there was so little else to do, she could see how anything could be made worth the attention. It was just him and his wife living in the once bustling home, after all; the couple’s children had long since grown up and made families of their own.
She noticed his gaze shift elsewhere as she tugged yet another stubborn intruder from the soil, his arms falling from across his chest and the perpetually worn displeasure melting to that of curiosity. He wandered off shortly after, and she had to make an effort not to fall onto her tail as the pressure on her shoulders unexpectedly evaporated. Did something happen?
Ceele shook her head free of the distracting thought. It wasn’t her business if he grew bored with watching her work. As long as no one voiced any complaints, she could only assume that she was doing a satisfactory job. Maybe he finally decided that he didn’t need to be so watchful because she was doing well! That could be it, right?
A glance at the somewhat sloppily maintained garden erased the false confidence from her face, but she was just as quick to focus on finishing up, unwilling to allow darker musings to fester. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anything else that needed her intervention. The weeds were all uprooted, the soil was appropriately dampened, and her check for pesky insects or wildlife turned up nothing to worry about. She was free for the rest of the day!
…Or she would be free—as soon as she finished the last of her tasks, anyway.
The black-scaled kobold got up from her crouch unsteadily, shivering and wincing from the pins and needles in her legs. She would have to remember to stretch more often; it was far too easy to forgo that kind of thing just to make the overall work go slightly faster. Her hand reached out to grab the pile of weeds and put them into the bucket as she ran through what needed to be done before she could properly relax. Hoppit’s food needed to be washed, she needed to bathe, and they were running low on water anyway, so she would have to visit the river. Just the thought of dragging herself into the forest again made her muscles protest, but she wouldn’t have the energy to do it later. She forced the smile that had started to fall and took the first of many steps.
- - - - -
The river wasn’t too far away, only taking a few minutes of traipsing through the dense woodlands until she reached her destination. It was an idyllic little spot. The trees thinned out to allow a grassy bank along the water, and there was an appreciably gentle slope from shallows to depths, making for a convenient place to take care of various needs. She had discovered this place during her travels, and it was where a kind older woman found her.
Ceele was washing off at the time, with Hoppit safely taking shelter from the outside underneath the bundled blankets while he waited. The trickle of the stream brushing against rocks covered the sound of footsteps, so she was rather surprised when an aged voice called out to ask if she was okay. Her first reaction was to distance herself and apologize—the why didn’t matter, but she had learned that most people were more lenient of her presence if she seemed apologetic for it, and she usually was. The elderly kobold just laughed at her scrambling, tacking on an assurance that there was no need for modesty. The woman was blind, apparently, which explained how Ceele’s blackened colours hadn’t deterred her.
Strangely enough, there was a comforting sense of ease around the one who introduced herself as Hira. It was a sort of presence that Ceele could only vaguely remember, and it drew her close enough to speak as she finished bathing. The conversation wasn’t anything profound, of course—they hardly delved deeper than surface-level small talk—but Hira lost her smile as she listened to the younger kobold. By the end of it, the old woman posed a series of questions with a dark inflection to her voice, and Ceele struggled to find an answer.
‘Are you tired of looking for something that only slips away? Are you tired of running? Do you really want to be scared and alone?’
If the silence bothered Hira, then it didn’t show. She had simply held out a hand and offered Ceele a way of life that didn’t involve wondering where she would be spending the night, nor entailed cowering in the brush while fearsome predators roamed freely. It would be a simple existence of few fortunes, but it was safe, and it was honest. All she had to do was say yes.
Ceele denied it at first, partially because she knew most people despised Hoppit's species, and partially because she couldn’t shake the offer being too good to be true. Hira was quick to propose a compromise; Ceele could take residence in the gardening shed that had fallen from use, and to satiate the nagging sense of an unfair deal, she would be put in charge of maintaining the garden itself. All Hira wanted was to ‘see’ her favourite space bloom again, since she couldn’t take care of it anymore. The black-scaled kobold stared longingly at where Hoppit was, his little body shivering from the prolonged cold and fear that he would be hurt if he left the blankets hiding him. It was with a heavy guilt that she accepted Hira’s offer, keeping quiet about her true reason for doing so.
That was in the past, however, though she thought about it every time she stopped by and saw the smooth rocks where she and Hira first met. Eventually, she might gather the courage to admit that she was housing a ‘pest’ and beg for forgiveness. Until then, she would just work her hardest to prove it wasn’t a mistake to give her a home. That her endless efforts weren’t meaningless. That Hoppit deserved to be more than a ‘pest.’
That Ceele was more than something she had no control over being.
She cleared her head a bit and started on the reason she came all this way. Her dress was rather easy to wash in the meandering water, and the trees provided a suitable place for it to dry in the sunlight and light breeze. The weeds were fine with a thorough rinse near in the shallows, but taking care of her own hygiene required her to wade farther in, though it only came up to her chest in the middle of the rill. Still, she could scrub off the soil and grime, which was all she really needed. Perhaps some simple soaps would help rid her of the pervasive black that stained her skin and scales, but that was beyond her meagre means for the time being, as well as being mere wishful thinking.
She worked past the dreary mindset that settled in when she allowed it, focusing on how serene the river was. The soft birdsong from the trees helped make for a peaceful experience, and she could feel the somewhat chilled liquid basically pour into the aches and pains throughout her body, washing away the stiffness from spending so long under the unerring sun. It was nice to escape reality and let thoughts drift while held buoyant by calmer waters.
Yet the bliss was short-lived. Even if winter was gone, spring was still far from warming the waters enough for her to laze about for too long. She dragged herself from the soft current and fetched her dress from the low-lying branch she left it to dry on. It was still a touch damp, but it wasn’t anything a bit of time in front of the fireplace wouldn’t fix.
Ceele was only a short distance away from home when she heard a gravelly male voice, but it was the flicker of sight between the trees that made her drop what was in her arms and lunge into a sprint.
Makis stood just outside the gardening shed, a ferrorabbit held at arm’s length by rusty crimson hands placed on the scruff and haunch, the rabbit’s little ears flattened as fear filled its tiny face. Her eyes widened further when she noticed the small stains of blood in his light brown fur. They found out about him. Ephemeral claws of blackness clutched at her soul, ripping the very fabric she was made of as an unseen beast smiled, eager to take yet one more thing from her. Her Hoppit. Her baby. Her everything.
“Hoppit!” she shrieked, her words all but tearing out of her throat in desperation. Frozen blood coursed through her veins, yet poured into exhausted limbs. She broke through the treeline with no regard for the branches slashing against her flesh, panic making each sting fade before it could be processed. The grizzled glare of the older kobold snapped towards her, his usual scowl picking up an actual air of intensity that she never thought could be absent, the promise of violence lurking in his eyes. She skidded to a stop a few paces away, the lump in her throat threatening to clog her airway. “S-stop hurting him!”
“Didn’t,” he barked back, his tone even yet firm. “Cuts ain’t me. I’d’a done worse if’a had ta mind ta.”
The blatant declaration snapped her from blind panic, although his apparent anger didn’t do her fear any favours. “B-but… Then how…”
“‘Hoppit.’ Named it, did’cha?” he grunted, ignoring her confusion and bobbing the rabbit to get her attention again. His gaze shifted back to the animal, the flames of ire cooling slightly. “I was wonderin’ why yer plots ain’t dead yet. Suppose this critter’s why.”
One of her hands hesitantly reached out until she pulled it back, while the other clutched at her chest to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t act rashly. Not while her baby was in his arms. “I—”
“Soft thing, ain’t it,” the elder kobold commented curiously, cutting her off.
“Y-yes?” she returned reluctantly, struggling to stop herself from lashing out to reclaim the ferrorabbit in his grasp.
“Like fine silk.” Makis tipped and tilted the animal, inspecting this and that with a deep-seated frown, all while Hoppit silently looked to her for help. The pit in her stomach grew. She needed to get him back, but how?
Ceele swallowed the dense dread as she tried to formulate some sort of plan, stumbling over her words and forced smile. “I-it’s nice! Isn’t it nice?”
His eyes snapped back to burrow into her own with hatred. “Wasn’t a compliment, girly.”
“B-but you—”
He released Hoppit’s lower half to jab a claw at the various spikes around his body, plying them with minimal force. “Look. See this? These’r suppose ta break bone. ‘Specially when he’s stiff like this. Ain’t no way I should be able ta bend ‘em. He’s barely more than a walkin’ carcass—all skin ‘n stick. He’s gonna get picked up by a wandering pecker if he keeps pissin’ about out ‘ere. It’s a wonder he’s still kickin’. What’cha feeding ‘em?” His gaze dropped from her face to the rest of her, disgust curling his muzzle into a snarl. “N’ver mind. I can guess.”
She felt the dampness build at the edges of her vision, unprepared to not only worry for Hoppit's immediate health, but also to face such harsh criticism while she was so vulnerable. “I… I try to make sure he has…”
Makis crouched to release the ferrorabbit onto the ground, Ceele dropping to her knees the moment he did. The terrified lagomorph wasted no time, bolting towards his adoptive mother and leaping into her arms, shaking uncontrollably. The rust-coloured ‘bold stared as she started soothingly stroking the animal’s back.
“Yer given’ em the weeds, aren’t ya?” he stated rather than asked. She gave a teary nod when her voice wouldn’t respond for her. The old kobold drew a breath, letting it go in an exasperated sigh as he stood back up, his expression becoming more impatient than antagonistic. “What else?”
“I— Um…”
“What. Else?”
“W-whatever I c-can find!” she sputtered out. Hoppit tried to hide against her neck, prompting her to tighten her hold. She couldn’t stop herself from shrinking, the guilt and confusion pulling her head down. “R-roots, vegetables, fruits… I give them as often as I can.”
His glare continued unimpeded, his cadence cold. “That it?”
There were a million things Ceele wanted to say. A part of her wanted to beg him not to kick them out of the first safe place she had in longer than she could remember, but she couldn’t find the words. She wanted to deny the judgmental tone that stabbed into her insecurity surrounding how good of a job she was doing with Hoppit, but the deadened void in her chest swallowed her pride whole. She knew he was right to critique her. That she was failing in the only thing that mattered anymore. That the feeling of loss would return.
“I try,” she whispered through the beginnings of a sob. “I try to find more, but he needs someone around, and I have to work the garden, so there’s only so much time I can spend looking. He won’t even eat all of what I bring back…” Tears dripped off her cheeks as she aimed a desolate smile at her furry friend. “He wants to make sure I have some too.”
“Yer killin’ em,” Makis pointed out plainly, crossing his arms. “He’ll be dead ‘fore the summer at this rate.”
“I know!” she shouted, forcing back the memories of insidious murmurs that lurked in the back of her mind, eager to creep into her ears again. The hate-filled stares that followed her, the rumours that arrived in towns before she had the chance to make an impression, and the guilt that loomed over her like an executioner's axe… “I know I am… I just… I don’t know what he needs. I don’t know how to make him happy…but I try. I’m trying…”
“…Yer an idiot, girly.”
She looked up to see the elder kobold walking away without another word. Her eyes fell to Hoppit, the ferrorabbit pressing himself against her as much as he could. He was small, thin, soft, and growing weaker by the day, but he never let it keep him down for long. No, he always showed his best for her, giving her joy that wasn’t provided anywhere else. She saw the thin cuts and dried blood, though she didn’t know where they came from, nor how he got out of the shed in the first place. But that was okay. Hoppit was okay, and she had Hoppit, so everything was okay, right?
…But how much longer would everything stay okay? How much longer until her efforts weren’t enough, and she was left desperately reaching for fading memories of what once was? How much longer until she killed her baby too?
How much longer until she was alone again?
Soft footsteps drew near, pulling her from the spiralling thoughts that threatened to gnaw at her soul. Damp, blurry eyes fell on Makis returning with a small wooden crate, the older kobold stopping a few steps away. He dropped the box, a deep, rattling thud produced as it impacted the ground, making Hoppit flinch in her arms. Ceele blinked as she kept him calm, then blinked again, looking up at the man for answers.
“The name, girly,” he spat in irritation. “Ferrorabbit. Ther’ Earth aligned creatures; they need metals. They don’t care where they get it, but they need lots of it. Iron, copper, tin, lead—raw crystal, if they can find it. You name it, they’ll take a chunk out of it. It's why they bother farmers so much; the best soil’s usually top’a gem deposits, ‘n the little bastards have no issue burrowing deep to get it. Dries up the element’s energy ‘n makes the crops weak.”
Ceele’s mouth opened and closed, each unsuccessful attempt to speak making her feel smaller and smaller. More and more lost. Why was he telling her this? How did he know? What was in the—
He kicked the crate with the side of his foot. “Scraps. Don’t’cha look at me like that. I’m a smith, girly. I might be old and retired, but I still work a forge. Now, this ain’t anything pure—it’s just slag and hunks—but I’m sure the critter won’t mind. Your little gardenin’ project pays off, ‘n I’ll see which of my contacts can get in some better ore.”
She ripped her eyes away from the box and met the perpetual scowl of the old kobold, seeing a warmth behind the hostility that she had never noticed before. “…Why?”
He scoffed in amusement, which looked somewhat menacing on such a hardened expression. “Yer a touch stupid, girly, but the missus adores ya, ‘n yer a good worker.” A shadow of a smile formed on his face. “Hira spent more evenings asking ‘bout how the plots are doin’ than I got time in the day. She’d bite my head off if I noticed a critter like that sufferin’ and didn’t lend a hand. ‘Specially when it’s obvious you ain’t tryin’ ta hurt the thing.”
“B-but the garden… Isn’t he a problem?”
Makis rolled his eyes, turning with a dismissive wave of his hand. “If he was, he’da killed it by now. I’d say he’s been keepin’ the others clear ‘n got scratched up for the trouble. That’s more reason to feed ‘em right in my eyes; pay the poor bastard his dues.” He paused after a few steps, shooting her one last incredulous glance. “‘N the rabbit’s right. You’re not much better off than he is. Eat. Before the missus takes my head, preferably. I ain’t need ta hear her worryin’ over you more than I already do.”
And with that, he walked off back to the house, leaving Ceele to sit stunned on the ground with Hoppit quietly nuzzling into her.
“Hoppit…?”
The ferrorabbit perked an ear and gently licked her collar. Fresh tears ran rivulets down her face, yet they didn’t weigh her down. They felt freeing. She adjusted her hold on the rabbit and held him out, taking in the small cuts and numerous other injuries she had never noticed before. He stared back at her with worried eyes.
“You’ve been busy, huh?” she cooed quietly, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking. He shrunk in her hands. “I told you to stay home, baby. What if something happened to you? I wouldn’t know where you went, and…”
Her protests died out as she saw what was unmistakably guilt on his little face. She brought him back to her chest and cleared her throat.
“It’s alright, Hoppit. If… If you want to help momma, then we can work together, okay? Just…please don’t go off getting hurt… I don’t know what I’d do without you…” The rabbit didn’t reply, and she was pretty sure she had never heard him make any sounds that weren’t his happy little ear clacks, but she chose to interpret the nuzzling as an agreement. “Such a smart boy…”
She took a breath and wiped off the excess moisture from her cheeks, setting Hoppit down on the ground. “Let’s bring Mr. Makis’ gift in, and then I need to go get more water so we can clean you up, okay?”
He bounced his way to the door of their home, waiting patiently for her to lug the surprisingly heavy crate into the shed. He was even still behaving himself by the time she returned from picking up the things she dropped in her haste. There wasn’t a single protest from the ferrorabbit as she washed over his wounds with warm water, nor when she asked him to wait as she cut up a small salad for him using an extra portion of her rationed vegetables. Finally, once everything else was gone, she tentatively sifted through the box until she found a chunk of something that didn’t look so sharp, then offered it to Hoppit skeptically.
As startling as it was to see him bite through metal without issue, she couldn’t help but tear up again at how pleased he looked with the bizarre addition to his diet. He munched through the first piece, then stared at the box while pawing at the air, asking for more. She obliged through wet laughs, feeling lighter than she had since he first gazed at her from his burrow, alone and afraid, just like she was.
Her little baby was happy, and that made it okay.
Next
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A/N: Thank you to my Patrons, new and returning! No Thanks, Emmanuel, and Megathor join the others who get to read 1 chap ahead!

Hey all, sorry for another post, I feel like I'm flooding this sub lately, but I'm really scared and don't know where else to go.
Last night around 9pm I made these chicken tenders that come pre breaded, but raw, like they're not precooked at all. Usually I air fry them at 370F for 26 minutes. I did just that, and when I pulled them out, each tender was reading over 200F with a meat thermometer at the thickest point.
I let them sit for a half hour, maybe longer because I was doing something else. When I went to eat the tenders, one of them felt slightly warm on the first bite, but the second one that was in the center was stone cold.
I instantly spat it out, and decided to just eat the other tenders that were there instead.
Since then, I have been very scared about salmonella poisoning. I drank a big alkaline water last night, and took 2 charcoal pills as a precaution.
I felt totally okay last night, but when I woke up this morning, after only 4 hours of sleep, I was dizzy, and had a bad gas cramp in my lower stomach/waist.
I got up and moved around for a bit, and felt better, so after a few hours, I decided to lay back down and get some more sleep.
When I woke up that time, my stomach was upset again, and this time I felt like I had heartburn.
I will say, I have IBS, and get acid really frequently. I always have to watch what I eat and drink. Like I can't even drink a ginger ale without it giving me acid stomach.
So I tried not to worry too much, until I started to have to go to the bathroom over and over again, and each time, it felt like acidic lava coming out, and at one point I thought I was going to have D*, but never did.
Around 7pm I was pretty panicked about all of this, and I started to get a headache, and felt pretty cold, like I was going to have a chill or something.
I know those are symptoms of salmonella poisoning, so I got really nervous after that.
I checked my temperature, and at the time, it was 98.3F, so totally normal.
As the night has gone on here though, the headache is still here, and my temperature has risen to 99.6F.
I did read that your body temperature is usually higher at night, and that's still not considered a fever, but I can't help but still be nervous.
It says online that it can take up to 72 hours for symptoms to start, and some other places even say 6 days before they start.
I just don't know.
I did eat dinner tonight. I was hungry before, so I take that as a good sign I guess. I was a little N* on and off all day though. It was extremely minor though.
I'm just worried about the headache, and feeling like I'm going to have chills thing now.
What do you guys think here? At this point it's been like 30 hours since I ate them.

Hello! I’m 6 days postpartum and last night I experienced some fever chills but it was over in seconds so I thought I was fine but this morning it was so much worse, the air felt like pins and needles. My boyfriend felt my head and told me I definitely have a fever.
The fever chills were crazy and the headache I had was painful but I’ve had worse headaches, and I threw up before we left for the hospital. Well, once we got to the hospital I was completely fine, I felt great even.
We came back home and I’ve been checking my temperature and it was 100 at first but now it’s in the normal range, I still have a headache and Tylenol doesn’t help.
Should I still go to the hospital? I don’t want to go to wait for 8 hours to be seen for no reason, sounds ridiculous but I’m just trying to heal at home where I’m comfortable. Any advice is appreciated, thank you!

I expected to have this posted very soon after my trip, but time got away from me! Even the prospect of writing this out is kind of daunting lol so props to all of you who post your trip reports (and I greedily read every word!). Whenever people say stuff like “this is so long, I don’t expect anyone to read this!” I’m always like “of course I’m going to read every word and love it!” But now I am the one telling you guys, this is very long and I can’t imagine who out there is going to read this lol
Thursday 5/16 - Travel Day
Flew to Naples where my friend lives. Plan was to stay two nights with her before we headed to Orlando for one “girls night” before my solo trip began.
Saturday 5/18 - Travel to Disney!
Left at 6:30am to drive to Orlando. It was her and her two girls (age 11 and 5). We had reservations for one night at Beach Club. We bounded as princesses (Tiana, Ariel, Aurora, Jasmine). We walked to Epcot at 11:30am and that short walk was INCREDIBLE. I can’t believe how close the park is!!! Beach Club is amazing for location alone! Here are the things we ate and experienced:
~~Toasted Pretzel Bread (Germany): 20/10 This was absolutely delicious and over the course of the week I think I ate it like 5-6 times lol
~~Raspberry Radler (Germany): same as above, LOVED
~~Harvested a Pearl (Japan): This was seriously THE BEST experience! We all got them put in necklaces. One of her daughters got a gray/blue pearl and it was gorgeous. Lots of attention when she showed mine bc it looked big and she kept moving it up the sizing plate. I ended up with an 8.5mm pearl! It was very exciting and lots of celebration by the workers and crowd. They said it was the largest of the day. Honestly, I recommend this to ANYONE. It was less expensive than I expected, $29 to harvest the pearl, then I think I spent $23 on a cage for it, and I chose to buy a necklace for it to wear right away and that was $26. I am 100% doing it again in September when I go back for my 40th birthday (and I told my hubby he is doing it too and will love it!)
~~Lemon Drop Shandy (The Citrus Blossom): 7/10 good! nothing exceptional, I liked the radler better
~~Cinnamon Roll Bites (Brunchcot): 6/10, I was so excited for these but they were just average. I think maybe if we had a batch that had more frosting it might have been better. They weren’t bad, just not outstanding. Loved the bacon crumbles though!
~~Guardians of the Galaxy: the only reason this is making it into the notes is bc of my Reliefband. I get motion sickness. I tried Guardians last fall (after 2 dramamine) and still had to sit for about an hour afterward to chill and not be sick. I decided to purchase a Reliefband (classic version, Amazon, $129) to try out this trip and see if it would work. I was very skeptical. But I am here to say it worked 1000000000%. I was so blown away. Absolutely ZERO feelings of motion sickness during or after the ride. Kept my eyes open the whole time (it’s the visual speed that usually gets me, screen rides get me too). I am not a big thrill ride person, so incidentally this time around I realized this isn’t the ride for me. I just don’t enjoy it that much, BUT the big deal is to find out that is my ride preference and has nothing to do with motion sickness. It was so liberating not having my motion sickness control me! Ooooo, also, I was absolutely ecstatic that I got the song I’ve always wanted!! Everybody Wants to Rule the World!
We left Epcot at 4pm and went back to the resort to check in. First of all, it’s so gorgeous there. The room was wonderful, the lobby is beautiful and smells amazing. I wish we had the money to always stay deluxe bc I get why people love deluxe resorts so much!
Dinner at Ale & Compass (Yacht Club): 7/10, again, food was decent but nothing exceptional. Actually the Parker House Rolls were 1000% worth the hype, I got the NY Strip Steak though, asked for medium rare and I think it was more medium and that ruined it a bit for me (also taste was just meh)
We spent about an hour and half swimming at Stormalong Bay after dinner. That pool is seriously incredible. I never want to experience anything but a sand bottom pool again. The. Absolute. Best.
18,525 steps
Sunday 5/19 - Girls Leave and Solo Begins
We checked out and then had a Beaches and Cream reservation at 11:30am. We shared the Bacon Ranch Totchos (7/10 tasty but too much topping for me), Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (grilled cheese 9/10, tomato soup 6/10), aaaaand the Kitchen Sink Sundae (9/10)! Was it smart for us to get this with only two adult women and two children? Probably not. But boy was it fun and delicious and we put way more of a dent in it than I thought we would lol. A little siren goes off in the restaurant when one is brought to a table and there is a back and forth with kitchen staff and customers (they say something about a “whole can of whipped cream” and customers answer back as a group) and it was a very fun vibe! In fact that is one of the reasons I rate it a 9/10 haha, bc I think there is just too much whipped cream and a lot of the ice cream is just buried.
We swam at Stormalong bay for 2 more hours before they dropped me off at All-Star Movies and they headed home to Naples.
Magic Kingdom (solo)
I got into my room at All-Star Movies (Love Bug building 6) and tbh I didn’t mind its distance to the bus stop, maybe bc it was just me, but I didn’t have a problem with it, I thought the walk was quick enough. I was in Magic Kingdom by 5:30pm.
6pm PeopleMover (walk on) 5 min posted
6:30pm Pirates of the Caribbean (walk on) 10 min posted
6:45pm Thunder Mountain (10 min) 15 min posted
7:10pm Enchanted Tiki Room (10 min) 15 min posted
7:40pm Haunted Mansion (20 min) 20 min posted
8:25pm Got the Sweet and Spicy Chicken Waffle sandwich at Sleepy Hollow: 7/10, the taste was great, I don’t like spicy stuff but this wasn’t too spicy. The only con is that the bottom of the waffle was kind of soggy and I didn’t really eat that part.
8:55pm in spot for HEA
9:40pm Peter Pan’s Flight (25 min) 10 min posted
Spent a lot of time in gift shops and doing photopass on my way out of park
11:10pm On bus back to resort
19,626 steps
Monday 5/20 - Animal Kingdom
6:45am On the bus to AK
7:22am Scanned into the park
7:32am Nav’i River Journey (6 min) 10 min posted
8:05am Kilimanjaro Safari (18 min) 25 min posted, was off the safari at 8:45am
9:05am Pongu Pongu - tried the Pongu Lumpia! I know this snack is controversial, it seemed like it was up my alley, but others have said the same and didn’t end up liking it so I was expecting to ultimately dislike it. I enjoyed it! 8/10 would eat again!
9:15am Gorilla Falls Trek, walked for 20 mins
9:45am It’s Tough to be a Bug - this was my first time, honestly, I think I have read articles and seen so many vlogs calling it startling and scary that I think I was expecting the worst so much that it wasn't….that….bad? I didn’t mind it? (side note: the ONLY time this entire trip that I wore tennis shoes was the morning of Animal Kingdom. My feet were hurting by the time I went into this show, so while it was going on I switched to my flip flops and my feet took a complete 180 degrees. I wore flip flops the rest of the trip and had zero issues with sore feet. I guess I’m just a flip flop girly???)
10:15am Feathered Friends in Flight - was actually heading to 11am Lion King but a CM I passed was announcing to people that the bird show was starting at 10:30 so I decided to detour there. It was great!
11:00am Maharajah Jungle Trek, walked for 20 mins, this was the most beautiful trail for me, absolutely lovely!
11:30am Eight Spoon Cafe - got the BBQ pork MacnCheese, found a spot to sit down by Drinkwallah and that is my go-to spot now. It is shaded and the carved tables and chairs are so pretty. I really like that little (hidden?) sit-down area!
12:00pm Discovery Trails, walked for 10 mins, then looked around shops in Discovery Island and Asia
12:50pm Rafiki’s Planet Watch (5 min) I did not get off the train, at this point I needed a break but I did not want to go back to resort, so I sat on the Wildlife Train and drank lots of water, I went around the circuit twice, got off at 1:30pm
1:45pm Festival of the Lion King, got in line for 2pm show, this was my first time…it BLEW MY MIND, absolutely loooooooved this. So so much. It was wonderful!
3:00pm Dinosaur (5 min) 15 min posted - first time! Honestly, I have heard so many disparaging comments about this ride I expected it to be terrifying, painful and just not fun. Again, I had an opposite experience! I love dinosaur movies (like Jurassic park) so I really enjoyed this one. I hope it is still there to ride when I am back in the fall!
3:30pm Nomad Lounge (added myself to waitlist on app, there was no “wait” got the text pretty much immediately) This was such an important break out of the heat. I spent an hour here to recharge. I drank a lot of water, had a delicious cocktail Lamu Libation 10/10, Ahi Tuna Poke Bowl 8/10, and Churros 10/10. I was able to charge my phone in an outlet at the bar. It was the perfect break!
5:00pm Left AK and headed back to resort
7:20pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios, walked around, looked through gift shops
8:20pm Catalina Eddie’s: got the Toffee and Coconut Blondie to take with me into Fantasmic! You guys…this is an absolute favorite of mine! My friend got it at NYE and forced me to try it (I didn’t want to bc I am not a coconut fan) but I fell in LOVE. Definitely a 20/10. I was so excited to get it again this trip. If you don’t love coconut, I find it very mild, you should definitely give it a shot.
9:00pm Fantasmic!
10:00pm Got on the bus to All-Star Sports instead of Movies bc in the gift shop at my resort the worker had told me I could find the pin I was looking for at the Sports gift shop. It was the 30 yr Anniversary pin of All-Star Resorts. I bought that and walked all the way back to my building, was back by 10:30pm
31,437 steps
Tuesday 5/21 - EPCOT
10:00am Scanned in at Epcot - kind of embarrassing…I was “that person” to hold everyone up. The past two days I did not need a park reservation, so I didn’t even think anything of it, but they told me one was required this day and he was setting one up for me on his ipad but then it kept erroring out, I felt TERRIBLE.
10:25am - Living with the Land (5 min) 5 min posted
10:50am - Nemo and Friends (15 min) 15 min posted
11:15am - Journey of Water walkthrough
11:40am - bought the Spike’s Pollination Exploration Scavenger hunt, it was nice bc it was 30% off with the rest of the F&G merch and I got my 20% discount on it. I mean it was only $10 regular price but I was still pretty happy lol
11:50am - got food!!! Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (Germany) still 20/10, Frushi (Japan) 8/10, Fruit Punch Ale (America) 8/10 good but I would get the radler over this every time
1:00pm Frozen (40 min) 60 min posted, I got splashed a lot more than normal this time for some reason! Sat next to a girl who was videoing on a go-pro, asked if she was a vlogger but she said no and then we chatted for a min about our love of Disney vlogs, it was nice!
2:10pm Kringla Bakeri - Viking Coffee, 9/10 excellent!
2:30pm The Honey Bee-stro - Liquid Nitro Honey-Mascarpone Cheesecake, 10/10 LOVED, the cheesecake was smooth and creamy (even while “frozen”) and the tart blueberry compote that comes with it is a perfect pairing. Plus I was able to Pixie Dust someone here! There was a young girl in line in front of me by herself, she was maybe 13? Anyway she was trying to scan her magic band for payment and the CM told her the band was not authorized to be used for payment, she seemed a bit surprised and embarrassed and I stepped in and started scanning my magic band. It was honestly only $6.50. She tried to tell me no and that she would go get her mom, but I just overrode her and said “It’s Disney! Let me!” with a smile. We were both at the window to pick up our items together and when she got hers she unexpectedly leaned in and gave me a hug and thanked me again. I was so surprised and heartwarmed (and also felt bad that I was kinda sweaty lol). But anyway it was a wonderful moment!
2:45pm Bought the Spaceship Earth cookie jar that I have been wanting so badly! I got it with my gift card I got for “mothers day” from our pets :D
2:55pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
4:00pm Bus back to resort for a break and shower bc it was a very hot day!
6:40pm Scanned back into EPCOT
6:45pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
Walked around to find Spike for scavenger hunt
7:35pm Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (again! lol)
8:00pm watched Garden Rocks concert
More Spike hunting!
9:00pm Luminous
9:10pm Started heading out of park
This was my toughest day of my whole solo trip for several reasons. 1) I don’t think I did enough sit down things, I was on my feet a ton 2) I was not being “park smart”. Epcot is huge enough in the first place but I was not navigating the park in an efficient way and ended up walking WAY more than I should have. Around 7:30-8pm I started to feel something pulled in my leg (after googling later maybe a mild issue with adductor tendon?) it was high up in my inner thigh, I decided to leave the park only 10 mins after Luminous started bc I really wanted to not push myself, the next day was going to be my Magic Kingdom day and that is my favorite park and would likely be a long day and I just didn’t want to ruin it.
29,183 steps
Wednesday 5/22 - Hollywood Studios (not Magic Kingdom!)
Woke up before 7am and decided to pivot on my plans bc of my leg. I decided to stay in the resort room until midday to rest my leg, and due to that decision I switched my park day from MK to HS. I figured if I was going to be in a park for less hours of the day I would rather sacrifice time in Hollywood Studios than Magic Kingdom. I bought Genie+ and bought an ILL for Rise of the Resistance for 1:40pm. This ended up being THE BEST decision I could have made. By the time I left my room, my leg was feeling 100% better and I did not have any issues with it for the rest of the trip!
1:15pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios
1:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I love this fricken show, I always want to see it every time I go to HS, I could watch it a million times, I am always impressed by the Arendelle Historians bc they are so funny, and while they will make jokes in a similar vein, they still have so much variety that you don’t see the same jokes when you watch shows with different historians. A++, this will always be one of my faves.
2:15pm Rise of the Resistance ILL - full A mode, also…bc I was wearing my Reliefband I was able to keep my eyes open during the drop with the simulation of flying through space. It was great!!!
3:00pm Smuggler's Run (G+) - okaayyyyyy, I have never been on this (due to motion sickness fears) but I decided to take the plunge. I got all the way to sitting in the seat and tbh I was terrified. I was by myself, I didn’t know exactly what to expect and I was not so much scared that I would be sick, I was confident in the Reliefband, but I was worried I would hate the simulated feeling of flying. That kinda freaks me out. So then, the ride doesn’t actually start and they tell us that a CM will be in to let us out bc it has malfunctioned and we will be given a LL back. I was quite literally SO RELIEVED. I will try that ride, but in September when I am with my husband!
3:30pm Woody’s Lunchbox - Adult Lemonade 10/10 and Raspberry Lunchbox Tart 7/10. I ended up getting two more Adult Lemonades throughout the night bc I thought they were delicious!! The tart was fine, it tasted “good” but nothing unique or outstanding.
4:00pm Beauty and the Beast Live
4:35pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (G+)
5:15pm Toy Story Mania (G+)
6:00pm Baseline Taphouse - Charcuterie Board 9/10 and Blood Orange Hard Cider 7/10
6:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I am not kidding about how much I like this show lol
7:10pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (40 mins) 45 min posted
8:20pm Rise of the Resistance (used the anytime pass I got for Smuggler Run going down) this time around we ended up having to walk down a hallway bc there was a technical difficulty with the 2nd pre show (where you enter the craft and get pulled in by the first order) we skipped that part and walked down a hallway straight into the storm trooper room. Everything else worked except for Finn.
8:45pm Ran my ass through Toy Story land (picked up an Adult Lemonade!) and hightailed it to Fantasmic! This ended up being a very good lesson for me. Getting to Fantasmic! just as it was starting was NOT a good idea. I was in the bleachers in the last section at the top, like with the walkway in front of you. You can hardly see anything back there. I will not make this mistake again. I left just as the floats started bc I could not even see them at all.
Browsed a lot of gift shops!
10:20pm Got on bus back to resort
I go back and forth on whether G+ was worth it today. Ultimately, I side on yes bc I didn’t even get to the park until 1pm, got to walk the park a ton, I did the most photopass spots here than I did on any other day, so Genie+ allowing me to just hop on 3 rides with no wait gave me the time to do all of that (and watch Frozen twice and B&B show), and I had the time to wait for Runaway Railway standby again. Also, bc the Smugglers Run malfunction allowed me to use a “LL” on Rise again, that alone made it worth it!
20,264 steps
Thursday 5/23 - Magic Kingdom
Wooooohoooo! My favorite park! I decided to get G+ today and get an ILL for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train for 7:40pm
9:10 Scanned into MK
9:25am Thunder Mountain (walk on) 10 min posted, this ride has never gotten to me in the past (motion sickness) but I was in the second to last cart and that made this ride feel faster and “dippier” and I did not care for it lol
9:40am Westward Ho - Crispy Chicken/egg/pepper jack breakfast biscuit, 9/10 would get again!
9:55am Pirates of the Caribbean (10 min) 15 min posted
10:25am Enchanted Tiki Room (walk on, got there just as they were ushering people in)
10:45am Enchanted Tales with Belle (12 min) 20 min posted
11:20am Little Mermaid (G+)
11:35am Mickey’s Philharmagic (10 min) 15 min posted
12:20 Carousel (15 min) 5 min posted - tbh this one pissed me off lol, bc I would have never gone on it had I realized I would wait 15 mins, 5 mins was a cruel trick haha
12:50pm Winnie the Pooh (G+)
1:05pm it’s a small world (G+)
1:35pm PeopleMover (8 min) 15 min posted
2:05pm Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (G+) - I didn’t remember thinking this ride was this hard! But after having just done Toy Story Mania the day before, I did not find this one to be as easy to “play”, I prefer Toy Story Mania!
2:20pm Monsters Inc Laugh Floor (17 min) 10 min posted
3:05 Peter Pan’s Flight (G+)
3:25pm Pecos Bills - slugged some water, had a coke (12/10 refreshing!) and nachos (4/10, I did not remember these being so spicy, I mean I don’t like spice so I am probably a wimp saying this but I did not enjoy these bc of the spiciness, will not get again)
4:00pm Stopped in Columbia Harbour house which was not too busy and found an empty table next to an outlet to charge my phone
4:45pm Haunted Mansion (G+)
Walked to First Aid station for Tylenol (headache)
5:20pm Pirates of the Caribbean (G+)
5:50pm Sunshine Tree Terrace - I tried the I Lava You Float, and I was sure it was going to be too sweet even though I have read many people’s reviews who loved it. I LAVA THIS FLOAT! 10/10 very much looking forward to getting again in fall!
6:05 WDW Train (Frontierland) (6 min) 10 min posted - I felt like chilling for a bit again so I did a full circuit and then went on to Fantasyland
7:05 Mickey’s Philharmagic (5 min) 10 min posted
7:35pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ILL - felt the same way about this one as BTM earlier, I was in one of the last carts (row 8) and it felt faster and dippier than in the past, no thanks!
8:10pm PeopleMover (20 min) 5 min posted - this should have been a walk on, but the ride went down as I was in line, I kept debating back and forth about leaving the line and coming back, but I just kept sticking it out a few more mins and a few more mins. Some people in line behind me were speculating if someone had puked on the ride bc of the workers going up. Not sure, doesn’t really matter, PeopleMover is the BEST at night!
8:50pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train (35 min) 35 min posted - Listen, I wasn’t expecting to be on this ride during HEA, I was just trying to hop in line while everyone was waiting for fireworks bc the wait would be shorter, but the fact that I actually got on it in perfect timing to see fireworks?! Let me just say it is just as cool as everyone says it is! Also, they put me in row 8 again, grrrrr, is that the designated solo rider lane?
9:30pm TRON - I tried getting a boarding group at 7am and didn’t get in. So then my plan was to get in at 1pm but I totallyyyyyyy forgot about it and I remembered at 1:55pm and I was like “crap! I guess I will see if I can still buy an ILL”. I was about to do that and then I thought to myself, “maybe I should just see if the VQ is still open?” AND IT WAS! So I literally got a boarding group at 2pm, an hour after the VQ started, I was shocked and thrilled when I got one! Plus TRON is always so gorgeous at night. I actually have yet to ride it in the day lol And LISTEN, I get that most people prefer Guardians to TRON, I really do get it. BUT bc I am not that much of a thrill ride person, I like easier going coasters. I seriously love TRON so much. It is such a horizontal coaster that it’s like my ideal. You get the thrill from it being fast and a little dippy, but nothing crazy. It’s a fave for me!!!
10:30pm Casey’s Corner - French fries and coke, both 10/10 refreshing and needed the pick me up!
10:45pm Main Street Confectionary - It was on my to-do list to get the popcorn mix from here. I chose Butter Popcorn, dark chocolate sauce, pretzel pieces and snickers. 10/10 definitely recommend. Will be getting a mix again in September!
11:10pm Got on bus back to resort
Friday 5/24 - Bonus Day?!
This was supposed to be my travel day back home. My flight was set to leave at 5pm, but in the morning my husband told me about storms in the midwest and I got an email from the airline about “adverse weather conditions”, so I called and changed my flight to the next day at 7am. (It ended up being the right choice bc my original 5pm flight out of MCO was delayed multiple times until it was finally canceled at like 10:30pm) I was thankfully able to book another night at All-Star Movies and could stay in my same room. I quickly formed the plan to go back to Animal Kingdom to see Festival of the Lion King again bc I had enjoyed it so much earlier in the week and then go to EPCOT to finish the final 4 Spikes that I had not located yet for the scavenger hunt!
11:00am Scanned in at Animal Kingdom
11:50am Mr. Kamal’s - got the Chicken Dumplings that were on my list to try but I did not get the chance to on Monday, also went back to my favorite spot by Drinkwallah, the dumplings were like a 6/10. Idk just pretty average for a potsticker that you can get anywhere, I probably would not get them again
12:15pm walked around Dinoland to really soak it in just in case next time I come it is walled off!
1:pm Festival of the Lion King - man, this is just fantastic! Be Prepared is my favorite villain song and I get so pumped when they do that part!
1:50pm Satu’li Canteen - got the wood-grilled chicken protein bowl, with rice and black beans and the creamy herb sauce. Literally OH MY GOD, this was so flipping good! 20/10!!! Best thing I ate hands-down all week. I wasn’t sure I would eat the slaw in the bowl but that was delicious, the creamy herb sauce was amazing and those little boba balls that add the citrus burst?!?! So so good. I have already altered our plans for September to include two meals here so I can get this bowl twice next time lol
2:45pm Took bus back to Resort
5:30pm Scanned in at EPCOT
5:55pm Living with the Land (walkon) 10 min posted
6:15pm Awesome Planet (walkon, went into theater immediately and show started) This was my first time checking this out, I really enjoyed it! I will def watch again especially in the heat of the day when I just need to sit somewhere cool for a bit!
6:45pm Found Spike (1 of 4 left) by the Butterly Landing!
7:00pm Found Spike (2 of 4 left) in France
7:10pm Checked out the Annual Passholder lounge in Restaurant Marrakesh
7:35pm Gran Fiesta Tour (walk on) 5 min posted
7:50pm Found Spike (3 of 4 left) in Mexico
8:00pm Got another Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler from Germany (dont judge! lol)
8:10pm watched Lit at Garden Rocks concert (who doesn’t love “My own worst enemy”!?!?!?)
8:35pm Found final Spike in Japan!!! - this one was my ultimate nemesis. I had searched Japan on Tuesday, I had searched Japan (twice?) earlier on this day and I was all set to give up bc I couldn’t find the Kokedama garden. I just hadn’t looked up the stone path to the left of Japan. Finally saw it when it was dark out and got my final Spike!!!
8:50pm Journey of Water walkthrough (always better at night!)
9:05pm Shoutout to the photopass guy who I stopped by on my way out of the park, those were the most awkward poses I have ever done in front of spaceship earth but you tried your best and the photos make me laugh every time I see them!
29,941 steps
Overall Thoughts
10/10 Amazing Trip. I found out about people going on solo trips here on reddit late last year and I was immediately certain I had to book one. While I can be a very social person, I am also a loner in the fact that I do enjoy spending time in my own company (not everybody does) so I knew a solo trip was right up my alley. It was everything I hoped for and more. I didn’t have to consult anyone else, I could do what I want, when I want. Also, (not to brag….shhhhhh…I’m not bragging I swear) but I am not a complainer. The heat usually doesn’t affect me too much, I have a good amount of endurance so I get tired of course but it takes a lot. I’m pretty unflappable because I’m just happy to BE AT Disney World. Others I’ve gone with are not like this so much lol so it was nice to just be in my own company in the sense that I was always in a positive mood and didn’t have anyone dimming that? If that makes sense?
Safety
I am a petite woman. I am 4’10” and 118lbs so I am very aware of my size in terms of my safety. I can honestly say though that I felt safe throughout the whole trip. The one time that I got off the bus at All-Star Sports at 10pm to go to the gift shop and then walked all the way to Movies, that did worry me a bit but only as I was walking through the parking lot sections.
And I did get the crap scared out of me at the resort due to the requirement of a “visual check”. I had not ever heard of this, but I was in my room for a midday break and I had a knock at my door by housekeeping. I thought it was odd bc I had my “room occupied” sign out the whole time bc I didn’t feel the need for housekeeping, it was just me in the room. I said “no thank you” and they knocked and announced housekeeping again. I said “no thank you” louder. (internally I was thinking, can they not hear me through the door????) and they did it again! I finally went closer to the door and I heard the person mumble something about a “visual check” and I very sternly and loudly said “no!” bc I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about. I peeked through the curtain at my window and watched the guy walk past holding a phone in his hand. I think he was wearing a uniform shirt but I couldn’t totally tell. I decided to call the resort in the event this was someone trying to pose as housekeeping staff. They ended up relieving my fears by telling me it was legitimate. Apparently, you have to have your room checked at some point in your stay (I was staying 5 nights) if you choose not to get housekeeping. He explained this has to do with the Pulse Nightclub shooting. I guess they had stockpiled guns in their hotel room and kept not letting housekeeping in. He explained that is why they do the visual check, for the safety of all resort guests. I was 100% supportive once he told me that and I felt bad for yelling at the guy. But also, I am a solo woman and I had no idea what the hell was going on, and to be completely frank, I had just showered so I was in a tshirt and underwear which made me feel even more vulnerable bc I was not fully dressed! I was not letting that person in my room. The guy on the phone totally understood that and apologized for alarming me. I told him to have the guy come back and do the visual check. I apologized to him when he came in. He was in my room for all of 10 seconds and that was it. But it was certainly a crazy ordeal!
Walking
I was doing 20-30k steps each day and other than hurting my leg on Tuesday I was honestly fine. I had shin splints too but again, they weren’t terrible and by Thursday they were gone. I brought tennis shoes and flip flops intending to switch on and off throughout the week in order to prevent my feet from getting sore but that never happened. I spent 3 hours in the shoes on Monday before my feet started hurting and I never wore them again. I had 2 different pairs of flip flops the whole time. I guess that is what my feet like!
Backpack vs Loungefly
I typically wear a normal size backpack to the parks, but also I can usually share wearing it with my husband. I didn’t really consider how hard it would be to wear a backpack alllllllll day long. And it wasn’t even heavy, I didn’t put much in it at all, but still it wore on my shoulders and made them sore. On Wednesday I ended up getting a Loungefly even though they have never really been my thing. It honestly ended up being perfect. It felt different on my shoulders and I wasn’t getting sore like I was with a regular size backpack.
Waiting in Lines
I have often read that one of the things that bothers solo travelers the most is waiting in lines by themselves bc it’s boring and they have no one to keep them company. I thought I might feel this way too but waiting in lines was not bad at all to me. It’s so easy to be on your phone that whole time. I was looking at my photopass photos, browsing reddit, and inputting trip notes. I felt like waiting in line was not a hardship for me as a solo traveler.
Photopasses
This trip exceeded my expectations with photopasses! The number of photos each photographer took and the variety of positions and magic shots was awesome. I am assuming part of that is because I was solo? I am not sure but I just felt like the quantity and time spent at each photopass location was better than normal. Special shout out to Hollywood Studios, that day in particular was just awesome. Every photographer was awesome, but especially the ones in Galaxy’s Edge. I was having such an amazing time getting them!
Total Photopasses each day:
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK - 2 photopass spots
Epcot - 3 photopass spots
HS - 7 photopass spots
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK and EPCOT - 7 photopass spots
I can’t wait to do it all again in September with my husband!

This'll be along, apologies in advance. In February, a 3rd flatmate (let's call her A) moved into a 3 bedroom graduate student housing in which another female flatmate (B) and I (C), already lived. Flatmate A turned out to be really messy ( keeps smaller bags of trash all over the kitchen instead of in the dustbin for weeks, leaves crumbs on counters for days, hair and water on the bathroom floor post use, loud announced guests, etc). B and I addressed these multiple times in person, via text with photos or simply took care of it ourselves. Our (B's and mine) families were due to visit in May for our graduation, post which our mothers were going to stay with us, for a few weeks, in our respective rooms. We asked each other and A if this would be okay since the official university policy for an overnight guest is 4 nights but people regularly have family over and nobody bats an eye unless a tenant officially complains. A agreed and plans were made accordingly.
Some time later, A got into a whole thing with B about how she's uncomfortable with her having her bf over (they're very quiet and I've never had any issues) and was also not okay with her mother staying for a long time (mine was staying for lesser time). B made changes immediately and checked again with A, who responded with a long threatening message asserting her personal rules and hinting that she would complain despite previously agreeing to a 2 week stay. B decided to terminate her lease early and move out.
During the last days of B's stay, when both our mothers had been staying with us for about a week, something in the apartment broke, which A had been the last to use. The housing policy basically involves submitting a maintenance request online and someone comes and fixes it, no questions asked. I've done this multiple times even when the issue has been caused by someone else, because the system does not need a 'culprit'. This time, both B and I tried to submit a request online but since the system was down, we couldn't and asked A to. A immediately blamed us for causing the damage, made an excuse and left the apartment. B and I went to see if we could find maintenance people around and ran into A chilling outside the building. She then accused us very aggressively of breaking things and said she needed to report that our moms were staying because someone had to be held accountable.
This led to a whole thing where we told her she does nothing around the apartment, does not follow flatmate agreements herself and that we're sick of her trying to go back on her word and acting like she owns the place, including repeatedly asking B and me when we're vacating.
B and her mom moved out soon after. I was looking for sublets since I felt like A was not done and about a week after the argument, got an official mail from the university housing about my guest, meaning A complained. Mom and I moved out unofficially too. This whole process cost a shit load of money and tension since I am still paying the rent at an apartment I'm no longer living at. I've been back once since and the place now has flies and more open bags of overflowing trash in the kitchen.
I get that what we did was against the rules but I'm also sick of having covered for someone's messy ass for so long and then getting reported because, in A's words, she is a 'stickler for the rules' who agreed to a stay longer than the uni policy MANY times when she could have just said no and saved everybody the headache.
Should I complain about the hygiene concerns? Can't mention the bullying because we were technically wrong. Advice?

This'll be along, apologies in advance. In February, a 3rd flatmate (let's call her A) moved into a 3 bedroom graduate student housing in which another female flatmate (B) and I (C), already lived. Flatmate A turned out to be really messy ( keeps smaller bags of trash all over the kitchen instead of in the dustbin for weeks, leaves crumbs on counters for days, hair and water on the bathroom floor post use, loud announced guests, etc). B and I addressed these multiple times in person, via text with photos or simply took care of it ourselves. Our (B's and mine) families were due to visit in May for our graduation, post which our mothers were going to stay with us, for a few weeks, in our respective rooms. We asked each other and A if this would be okay since the official university policy for an overnight guest is 4 nights but people regularly have family over and nobody bats an eye unless a tenant officially complains. A agreed and plans were made accordingly.
Some time later, A got into a whole thing with B about how she's uncomfortable with her having her bf over (they're very quiet and I've never had any issues) and was also not okay with her mother staying for a long time (mine was staying for lesser time). B made changes immediately and checked again with A, who responded with a long threatening message asserting her personal rules and hinting that she would complain despite previously agreeing to a 2 week stay. B decided to terminate her lease early and move out.
During the last days of B's stay, when both our mothers had been staying with us for about a week, something in the apartment broke, which A had been the last to use. The housing policy basically involves submitting a maintenance request online and someone comes and fixes it, no questions asked. I've done this multiple times even when the issue has been caused by someone else, because the system does not need a 'culprit'. This time, both B and I tried to submit a request online but since the system was down, we couldn't and asked A to. A immediately blamed us for causing the damage, made an excuse and left the apartment. B and I went to see if we could find maintenance people around and ran into A chilling outside the building. She then accused us very aggressively of breaking things and said she needed to report that our moms were staying because someone had to be held accountable.
This led to a whole thing where we told her she does nothing around the apartment, does not follow flatmate agreements herself and that we're sick of her trying to go back on her word and acting like she owns the place, including repeatedly asking B and me when we're vacating.
B and her mom moved out soon after. I was looking for sublets since I felt like A was not done and about a week after the argument, got an official mail from the university housing about my guest, meaning A complained. Mom and I moved out unofficially too. This whole process cost a shit load of money and tension since I am still paying the rent at an apartment I'm no longer living at. I've been back once since and the place now has flies and more open bags of overflowing trash in the kitchen.
I get that what we did was against the rules but I'm also sick of having covered for someone's messy ass for so long and then getting reported because, in A's words, she is a 'stickler for the rules' who agreed to a stay longer than the uni policy MANY times when she could have just said no and saved everybody the headache.
Should I complain about the hygiene concerns? Can't mention the bullying because we were technically wrong. Advice?

Hi everyone! I'm Garrett, and I'm looking for a long term romantic relationship. I'll be including whatever information I can to hopefully give a good enough impression of myself. If after reading you think we might get along feel free to send me a DM and we can go from there. I'm perfectly happy to message, voice chat, or video call. I'm also open to doing other things like playing games, watching movies/shows, exchanging songs, or other things in that nature at least to start. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
What I'm Looking for in a Relationship:
For me I think a relationship in it's simplest form is vibes mixed with trust. The way I see it now dating and relationships are kind of warped by social media and all of that constant exposure. It seems like we're getting to a place where we treat each other as commodities rather than people. In my opinion, the material things another person has are pretty meaningless in regards to relationship compatibility. I think that what matters are things like empathy, trust. vulnerability, and communication. However building all of those take time and effort, but lead to an actual long term foundation in my opinion. Other things do matter of course, but if you're willing to form real connection with someone I think a lot of the stuff outside of the more personal and emotional connection doesn't matter as much. So I want someone who has the same thought process at least in that regard where you're trying to connect with a person and go from there building a life together. Not because they have something you want, but because you think they're amazing! So if there was someone you wanted to spend you're time in this dystopian world with It'd be them. Ya know the person you're always excited to see at the end of the day, and who you know has your back no matter what. Relationship philosophy aside, ideally I like having physical contact at least to a degree if we were to meet or live together eventually. I'm fine with holding hands, hugs, cuddles, kissing, and things like that. I'm not sex repulsed, but have legit zero interest in it myself. I do experience aesthetic attraction so it would be nice to see who is on the other side of a message fairly early. That being said it's only a part of it, how we interact and get along is the majority of it.
My Potential Deal Breakers :

• I live in the United States (Michigan)
• Currently live with my parents (have no debt, cook, clean, take care of myself, and have my own money)
• Not super into travel (but will take vacations sometimes)
• I don't drink or smoke
• Not religious in any way (maybe Agnostic at best)
• Might occasionally make a dark/cursed joke
• Gamer
• Watches Anime sometimes
• A little blunt sometimes

My Preferences :

• I'm fine with LDR as long as we can meet up sometimes or eventually close the gap entirely ( feel free to reach out from anywhere in the world)
• I would prefer you to be in the age range of 27-33
• Preferably not a heavy drinker (some alcohol is fine)
• No smoking of any kind ( I don't have an issue with weed, but the smell gives me an instant headache)
• Have some common interests
• Speak English as I unfortunately only know one language for now

Hobbies & Interests :

• Reading- I've been obsessed with books since I was a child and still love them! (fantasy and sci-fi are my preferred genres, send any book recommendations)
• Gaming- Similar to reading I've been a gamer since age 5, my first gaming memory is playing Age of Empires II at 5am before school. (A few I currently play are HSR, League, BG3, and Palworld)
• D&D- This is a newer addition as far as playing, but I love it so much! I play in a two weekly campaigns, plus I get to practice voice acting while having fun in a roleplay game. It's probably my favorite hobby at the moment. (Watch Critical Role on Thursday nights as well)
• Exercise- Enjoy doing calisthenics and mobility based exercises, but have also started training for doing distance running.
• Archery- Another on brand since childhood activity, but I'm not as diligent about it as I used to be. Still fun, but I use it more as a chill activity now.
• History- Really big fan of learning about most history, mythology, legends, and such. Documentaries are a good time to me! (small preference to Rome, Ancient Egypt, Medieval Europe, Imperial China, and Feudal Japan)
• Drawing- I very occasionally make time to draw, but I'd like to get more consistent. I take forever to draw anything, it's rough.
• Movies/TV/Anime- Happy to watch anything and give it a try, this has been a good year so far for entertainment. I've finished Shogun, Fallout, and started on Acolyte. There are more I want to get to and I'm really looking forward to Arcane season 2 in the fall! (A few favorites are LOTR, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Horimiya, Hellsing Ultimate, Game of Thrones, Hazbin Hotel, Arcane, and Stargate)
• Gardening- Brand new this year I took over all of my mom's flower beds for her and I'm really enjoying taking care of them. I have a book of notes on how to take care of each flower and a calendar for watering schedule. I wouldn't have guessed it would be something I would enjoy, but I'm loving it!
• Music- My music taste is somewhat random, but I'm happy to share random songs of off my playlist anytime. I'm always happy to listen to song suggestions as well. ( I think my nostalgia for alt rock is something that will always stay though)

Quirks & Other Random Nonsense :

• I'll randomly talk out loud to myself
• I like to sing poorly (sorry)
• Really enjoy voice acting so random voices can and will happen if I'm comfortable with you
• I have a really bad sensory response to chalk ( if it touches me or if I hear it being used to write, even thinking about the sound or feeling of it can be enough)
• I'm very sensitive to sound
• May zone out randomly
• Beyond thrilled to have random conversations about anything and everything, the weirder the better!
• It's insanely impractical, but I still think a Dragon would be the best pet!
• I go between glasses and contacts depending on activity
• I haven't done it yet, but I want to have my nails professionally done at least once to try it
• Love learning about almost anything

Pets :

• One 21 year old cat named Jersey (pictures can be provided)

The End :
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, If you have any questions please feel free to DM me and ask. I'm very chill and will be more than likely fine with answering any concerns or queries. I tried to think of everything that would be relevant. Hope you have a pleasant day and or night!

PS: I am still feeling a bit dizzy from my sedation so there may be some grammar mistakes. Please try to ignore them.
Before my colonoscopy exam, I have seen a lot of people saying “grow up and do your prep” when my stomach was actually twisting and hurting after taking a sip of peglyte. So I wanted to give a tiny bit of hope to people who are going through this. I had my colonoscopy exam today. As it was my first time ever, I was very anxious. But it was not as bad as I thought - I can’t even remember what happened. The only painful feeling you will feel is the pinching feeling when they will inject an IV. It was like taking a 30 min nap. The nurses and the doctor at the clinic were making this a very pleasant experience. Kudos to them! As a prep, I was prescribed Dulcolax and Peglyte. 2 days before my prep, I avoided vegetables and chose low residual foods. The day before my appointment, I did not eat anything until 1pm, but I had a severe headache and almost blacked out (please eat properly before your liquid diet), so I ate a slice of chocolate cake. Then in the evening, I came home late from work and I could not get myself a broth, so my only option was a beef noodle (not spicy). Even though I was not supposed to eat any solids, I was on the verge of fainting, so I ate the noodle (very irresponsible from my side). And after that I started my Peglyte. Peglyte tasted like a gatorade mixed with a salt water. Since childhood, I never liked the taste of gatorades and would always puke it out, so finishing 4l of Peglyte was a torture for me. I would take a sip and straight up vomit and my stomach would hurt. I had to push myself to at least get through the 1/2. After 1/2, my stool was clear but everyone were saying that you had to finish it. I have tried everything: used straws, put it in the fridge to chill, tried to wash down the aftertaste with a lemon water, taking gravol to help with nausea. But nothing helped me, as I was vomiting a lot. So, because my stool was clear I did not want to physically and mentally hurt myself and went to sleep. On the day of my colonoscopy exam, I didn’t eat or drink. I was scared that I might get sent home because I didn’t finish the peglyte but I wasn’t. The doctor was very happy with my prep and the exam went well. In conclusion, it's important to remember that everyone's experience with colonoscopy prep can be different, and what works for one person might not work for another. Don't be too hard on yourself if you struggle with the prep, and don't hesitate to listen to your body and prioritize your well-being. It's okay to make adjustments as needed, even if it means deviating slightly from the prescribed routine. The most important thing is to ensure that you are as comfortable as possible and to communicate any issues with your healthcare provider. Remember, the goal is to take care of your health, and sometimes that means finding the right balance for you.

20 - chill gamerssss :)
hiii im not rly a big gamer, but like to play sometimes here and there. i have not played much, but the ones i do have are fortnite, escapists2, overcooked2, golf with friends, fall guys, and terraria. the only issue is that i own a macbook and switch, and can’t rly play first person games without getting a headache. but if you want to play any of the ones i mentioned or have any suggestions, super down! :)) p.s. i might be shy at first so yappers are very much welcomed 🫶🏻 vc preferred after introductions :)
my discord is: sleepypey ((ages 20-24 pls))

I’m so upset and frustrated at how everything is happening during and after the pregnancy. This was so much wanted pregnancy - 3 years of infertility with multiple rounds of IVF and an open myomectomy surgery. I ended up with superbug UTI bacteria after the myomectomy surgery, which caused numerous UTIs throughout the pregnancy, needing to take antibiotics.
This pregnancy filled me with anxiety and worries.
Then I had my LO, I adore so much despite all the hardship - lack of sleep, lack of free time, etc.
Last Sunday, at 1 AMish - I woke up with chills and aches from sleep. It lasted for a while. I was so cold, even under a blanket, that I was shaking. The symptoms (chills, aches, fatigue, intense headache, and neck pain) lasted 3 days. I took ibuprofen to function, although the headache didn’t ease.
Anyway, I noticed a huge red mark on my back when I got to take a shower on Wednesday, and I was suspicious of a tick bite. So I went to urgent care that night and started on doxycycline (told doxycycline is most effective - I will pump and dump while taking it).
Today, it was confirmed Lyme disease. I was pumping to feed break milk (not much though). So, LO’s been drinking ready-to-feed formula for 85% of the time. I didn’t even pump for Mon/Tue because I was feeling sick. Wednesday morning, I did pump one time and fed him.
I am so angry this happened (why now?!) and worried at the same time that I possibly have transmitted the bacteria to my LO. Should I go to the pediatrician and request a blood test?

Body aches, fatigue, headache, chills, and overall malaise…is it a virus or just fibromyalgia? I’m annoyed because I struggle to know when I’m fighting a virus like a cold, dealing with seasonal allergies, or having a fibromyalgia flare. These three things require different approaches to make me feel slightly better.
How do you determine if your aches are from fibromyalgia or something else?
Historically, I’ve had viruses or other illnesses that were worsened because I mistook them for fibromyalgia or one of my many other chronic conditions. I struggle to recognize common ailments, but I’m too old for this now so do you have any suggestions of how to recognize differences?