So the break is killing me... she/we have gone no contact each other however I'm not blocked.
Notes:

1. She thinks I'm too good for her. Out of fear for months she would say that I would be happier with somebody that isn't as damaged as her. (she is really damaged by her ex husband that has passed).
2. She has said that I'm the only person in her life that has gotten to know her for her and not for what she looks like. It makes her feel safe.
3. She cries often when we are together wishing we meet sooner because we would've had 4 kids, big house, and she wouldn't be damaged.
4. Because she is avoidant we were exclusive (but no BF/GF title) but we had a huge blowout argument and she had basically told me off as if it was the final fuck you. Then I wrote her a long text apologizing for my shittiness and that I love her and want to make this work. Her response basically reiterated the phone call a few day prior. Here is where I fucked up boys...
5. For months now she had been saying I need to talk to other girls, go on the apps because she wasn't right for me (even though we spent most our time together and did BF/GF shit without the label). Avoidant behavior 101 before I knew what it was. So I hopped on an app just to talk to somebody out of despair and get a no-shit I really want this women in my life vibe and I did.
6. I matched with one of her friends on the first and only before deleting it... FML word got back to her of course. It was confusing because she reached out to me immediately reacting like she loved me still and not like she had been pushing me away the past few months. She had created an account herself to try and match with me on the app that day as well.
7. Anyways, so I wound up coming over to her place that night and we talked things out, wound up hooking up and I spent the night at her place. We talked, I told her that I love her and that I was sorry... Mind you this entire time when she was trying to push me away I was iron clad faithful to her, never talked to anybody else. I always focused my love on her when we were together and let her hurtful comments to reach out to other women roll off my shoulders. I digress - we spent the next two days together and it was awesome.
8. The last day she said she needed a few days to think (7 to be exact). This was the day she was going back to work with the friend that saw me on the dating app. So I knew her friend camp that was my most staunch supporters would now be my biggest opposition moving forward. Also, I asked her to get off the app and she said no for a few reasons. I hurt her even though she wanted me to move on and wouldn't tell me she loved me. Second, I think she's trying to save face with her friends as to not seem like a pushover by getting off the app for an ex that jumped on one..
9. I love her... I'm 40 and there isn't anybody else in my long life that I've felt this way about. Not even my ex wife. I want her in my life and the few hrs I was on the app proved more that she was the one I wanted to be my person.

Anyways - were into a week of no contact and I'm new at this thing. I've working on self improvements and becoming a better person. Do I want her back? God yes.
Question to the community - how has no contact/radio silence worked for you? Has it helped you attract your partner back and if so how long did it take?

Heads up, I'm going to share a tragic story that happened close to home in our community. Has haunted me for days now.
In the neighboring town, there was a 3 year old boy who was killed in a random act of violence at a grocery store parking lot. Details in the link at the end if people want to read it.
My question is when is it ok (if ever) to share this kind of story with kids? My daughter (4yo) is a runner and not a good listener when in public. While this can be a reflection on our parenting, it's not abnormal for the age. I don't want to share this story with her (and truly won't at this young age), but kids that run away in public puts the family at risk for tragedy like this. Granted the story didn't involve a runner, but I really want my daughter to stop running and be safe in public.
I know 4 is not the age to get real with kids, but when does that happen? I never want my kids to fear the world and everyone in it, but at some point they'll be exposed to the sick evil that exists out there.
Here for advice and appreciate you all.
Story: https://www.cleveland19.com/2024/06/04/3-year-old-boy-dies-after-stabbing-north-olmsted-giant-eagle-medical-examine

Hi uh Gods I can't believe I'm actually attempting to post this. I'm not even sure if this is along the rules or against but I'm so tired and don't know how else to go about this. So uh trigger warning, SA is kinda hinted, drug use, along with 🍃 the devils lettuce included.
So some backstory here: My life...it wasn't bad. Definitely not the worse. Abused by my aunt and uncle, my father found out and fought back for custody of my my sisters and I during middle school. I took the change okish? My sisters however went the wrong routes. One sister got into hardcore drugs, multiple kids in fostercare because she is to busy doing drugs to care. My other sister also has a kid but can barely care for him and is also choosing drugs. They both had a major 'boy issue' growing up. Aka dad said "Please stop texting these guys and skipping school! Do something in life!!" They don't have anything to show
But me? I was so terrified of being taken away from my father. I colored inside the lines, stared at the floor and got passing grades throughout school. No friends, no outside. I had to be good so CPS didn't think I was a fuck up too and take me away. I loved my dad. They called me a gifted student...where did all that brilliance go?
By 17 I was crippling under the pressure, anxiety and depression had a vice grip on my throat but I finished school and had an amazing job as a manager, I was going somewhere in life. I thought I was.
Till I moved out on my own... I think that's what happened? In an apartment all by myself my fears poured out and I had no where to run. The internet was where I felt safest then in the shops hearing people laugh and overthinking it was at me. No confidence no self love. I managed to put on a Mask so tightly 5 years later it's still glued on... A personality that everyone loved online. Guys flooded my dms, girls actually wanted to be my friends. I was good at talking to people!
But I quickly began developing...habits. bad ones if I'm honest
I began smoking grass, drinking heavily. Being intoxicated in some way, I was always so happy and laughing. But the popularity twisted and I began səxualizing myself so much to get more attention.
5 years down the drain.
Drinking smoking giving myself up to randomly strangers all for the feeling of bliss. I only felt complete when I was so messed up my mind couldn't think straight only that one act on my mind.
-Here is what I have managed to spit out while being so out of it trying to put these feelings to words-
I cant think right at least nothing FEELS right
My body is crumbling. Can i take another step? Can i lift another tray? How long can this feeling last? This feeling of exhaustion, my hands shaking, head spinning but not the way I like it. No, I know my body is starting to fail me.
And this feeling mixed with What do I feel ?
I feel...
Vile...
Disgusting...
How can I be loved posting like this ?
What kind of a person can I be ?
What have I done to be Like this ?
Craving such disgusting things...
It wasn't that bad...
Where did it all go wrong??
Why can't I get it right??!
I deserve hell for this.
I can fix this can't i????
Can I really fix these vile desires?
Can I fix my breaking body and mind?
How can I fix this...
When I have no other need but those disgusting cravings?
What do I want in today?
What do I want in tomorrow?
What do I want in next week?
What do I want in next month?
Will I even make it to the next year?
These crippling addictions... I can't even go to AA for
How do I express these emotions and desires?
Without feeling like a disgusting person?
Everytime I try to fix it, the world starts to crumble around me
And my left...in my ONLY safe place...
Right back to the park...
Grab the lighter,
Grab the bottle,
Don't look him in the eyes
He won't judge these disgusting desires after all he wants them too?

Orginal Story by C.K. Walker
Written By Ayden M.N. and u/Memisworld_23
SPOILERS FOR BORRASCA V
(Constructive Criticism is welcome and encouraged)
...
One hundred thirty two. That is the amount of people that were rescued that day on the mountain. I would be lying if I said it didn’t take me by surprise to hear the news about the stables let alone the number of people that were there. It makes me think back to when I was a kid and all the strange and tragic things that happened to me then. It's funny how time changes, how everything wilts away. How life goes on without a wait or stop. Sometimes you'll forget what lurked underneath, and when you do remember, it's already too late. I couldn't say my childhood wasn't bad but it's basically not as cheery as most kids have it.
My father was definitely sucked into his job as a lawyer, while my mom was bustling her back at an old diner, drinking her sorrows away. None had any time to spare for me, as a child. It made me a pretty independent child, and when my mother decided to give birth to Lucy, I became that mother figure that I never had. Aside from Lucy, I had nobody else to talk to. School in Drisking was okay, but I would be lying if I said it was a good experience. I was pretty much alone from childhood to teens. Most kids already had their own friends, their designated trio. I would always refer to it that way. It was by sheer luck that I really did find a friend. Someone who I could share my emo playlist alongside with and in return she taught me a lot about DnD.
However like if the world knew I was meant to be alone, she was taken away from me. I never knew what happened to her, but I beat myself about. If only I didn't moved from Drisking, maybe I could had found her sooner.
The one thing that has remained consistent is my ritualistic daily breakfasts at the diner. From the start of my freshmen year, I never missed a day of going to the diner. It was my way of getting my head together and preparing for the day ahead. Even into my adulthood, I never stopped going. Imagine my surprise when I saw a face that I’d honestly thought I would never see again. It didn’t click at first. I just felt like I knew it.
She was about 5’8” with asymmetrical short dirty blond hair. Her clothes were mainly black and I can just see something protruding from her around her waist. She had a plain black shirt tucked into her pants with a well-kept belt. She wore a Nobel 6 zip up jacket -Clearly a Halo fan- and a small d20 pin on it. Where this seems normal to the untrained eye, I can’t help but feel deja vu from looking at this woman. She seemed like this distant dream that is so fuzzy that it’s just familiar enough to almost recognize.
She walked into the diner and was given a table next to mine. I racked my brain trying to figure out who this was. I examined every part of her, again, and again, and again, just trying to make sense of who was sitting right there in front of me. She was so close, yet she was so distant from me.
“May I help you?” She sighs, putting her coffee down on the table in a way that I can only describe as a contained irritation. “Or are you just going to stare at me like I’m an exhibit?”
I wasn’t even conscious I was staring. She turns to me and it all clicks together. The d20, the jacket, and, my new discovery, looking at her closer and can see her, the freckle on her upper lip.
“Kat? Is that really you?” Stunned, I blurted out. I was adamant that that familiar woman had to be her. No one had that exact same freckle like her.
“That depends on who is asking.” She rolls her eyes taking another sip of her coffee.
She doesn’t recognize me? It makes since she didn’t. It’s been so long. Looking down at my empty plate, as I really wanted her to recognize me. Should I introduce myself? I thought, maybe I'll make her remember me.
“So you don't know me? I can give a hint, I'm sure it might give you an idea on who I am.” I nervously laughed, as I dug into my black leather purse.
Quickly, I pulled it out, plopping down a custom made d20 dice on the table. I remember painting my own dice black, since I was super obsessed with the color black as a teen.
“Wait,” Kat puts down her coffee again, this time with more of a clang. “What is that? Where did you get this?”
Placing the dice right next to my plate, I felt my throat lumping already.
“Remember on my 16th birthday, when it was only you and me. I remember we almost burned the house down because we had the dumb idea to bake a cake.”
“Pauly…?” A slow recognition comes across Kat’s face. Replaced soon by unadulterated joy. “Well, I’ll be damned!”
Tears started to well up my eyes, I was so ecstatic to finally see her eyes flashed with recognition. I slowly got up to my chair, every step I took felt like I was stepping in a pile of needles. Getting a great look on Kat, she looked different from the nerdy shy girl I knew. But, I didn’t care how different Kat looked, I was happy to see my old friend alive.
“I just don't know what to say. I thought I've lost you.” I whispered, my voice already trembling as I spoke.
“Oh,” Kat's voice cracks a bit too, pulling me into a hug. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Kat seemed to be holding back tears. Just being with her now, I couldn’t even wrap my head around it. It seems so surreal. Even when I hugged her, it felt like it was a fabricated dream. But it wasn't, this was all flesh and blood.
“Just…how are you…I'm so sorry that I never found you. Everyone, even the cops told me that you were long gone. I had hoped you'd come back. Just didn't know it would take this long.” Wiping my tears with my sleeve, I hugged even tighter. She was much taller than me, so I couldn't really comprehend it.
“Hey, hey.” Kat chuckles a bit. Still holding back tears, I could tell. “It’s okay. You…There was no way you could have known. I have a lot of explaining to do, I’m sure but let’s forget about that for now.”
“Yeah…I'm just so happy to see you again.” I sat across from Kat's seat, picking up a napkin to wipe the rest of my tears. It rubbed off some of my mascara, making me think it was a horrible idea to try out some make up today. “So, um…what have you been doing over these years? I see you got a gun holster over there?”
“Well, I…” Kat cut herself off. “I was a SWAT operative. It’s, uh, a long story. How about you?”
“SWAT? No wonder you look so tough and badass!” I then continued enthusiastically. “Well, I'm actually a nurse practitioner. I'm very specialized in prenatal care. I know it's funny because I really didn't like babies back then.”
“Oh? That’s…nice.” Kat’s voice shudders. “And I wouldn’t call myself a badass for being SWAT. It…makes you question a lot of things about yourself for sure. It’s all in the interest of others though.”
My smile slowly fell, as I was scared if I might've made her upset. “I see, I understand. We both are doing jobs that help people, and probably had to endure some bad cases once in a while.”
“Did…did you ever find Kincade?”
Kincade. I haven't heard of that name since after moving Drisking.
I took a deep breath, as I responded. “I did manage to find Kincade after your disappearance. They never told me what happened, and I lost contact ever since. Last time I checked, Kincade moved to California.”
“Oh, thank god.” Kat sighs out of relief, as she takes a seat back down. “Knowing that girl, she’s living it up in LA. Well, I was actually in New York all this time. I thought it would be a good place to settle down. For what it was worth, the NYPD was good to me.”
“Oh I can tell she is. I followed her Instagram, and she's always posting pictures of parties and such.” I tucked a strand of hair in the back of my ear, while I pulled out my phone to show Kat Kincade’s page. “Even if they don't want to talk to me, I'm just super glad they're okay.”
I sometimes wonder why Kincade hasn't had contact with me yet, but deep inside I felt like they were somewhat upset with me. The strange thing was that once Kincade showed up, my mother just randomly disappeared. My father had always told me that she's just had it with us, and left to do her own life. However I never believed that story. Sure my mom was a raging drunk chain-smoker, but she always loved Lucy and I. Her just leaving out of the blue isn't in character, and I just know that something wrong might have occurred.
Kat inspects the page. I can tell it struck something in her. I knew from this point she was holding back a bit with her emotions but for some reason, this broke her. Suddenly I saw my childhood best friend break into a waterfall of sadness. She started to sob. As if she had a dam behind her eyes and they just burst.
“Kat.. Oh shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I rushed towards Kat’s side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
It broke me to see Kat this way, yet I couldn’t help but wonder what made her let out her tears. My eyes suddenly landed at one of Kat’s wrist, a light brown scar was marred on her skin. It was half covered by her sleeve, its appearance was more like a stab wound than a slash. I could tell Kat noticed me staring at it, as she quickly covered it up. The sky was now in a vibrant orange and magenta hue, while the bright sun started to slowly settle down.
Kat finally regained her composure after a few minutes of apologizing profusely.
“I know.” Kat weakly pushes out from her lips through her tears. “I know you see them. I know I have a lot of explaining to do. I got that…from a mission that I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear.”
Leaning against her shoulder, I looked up at Kat with an understanding expression. “I think I’m ready to hear about this. Over these years, I wanted to know what happened in Drisking. I don’t want to stay ignorant anymore.”
“Let’s…” Kat wipes her eyes, only for more tears to take the others place. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private.”
∆∆∆
“As you enter into the Church of the Overthrown Gods.” Kat dramatically pauses. “You feel as if multiple eyes are watching you. As you look closer to the rotting wood altar, you see a tiny eye just peeking out…and then another…and then another…and then another… as they rise up from the altar you see they are on tendeles attached to a large spherical mass. You see 10 tenderals rise all with snake-like eyes darting around the room before meeting yours. As the large mass comes into view you see one large eye on it staring at you and an unnerving smile as it laughs intimidatingly at you. As you realize what is staring back at you is…a beholder…and that’s where we will leave off tonight’s session!”
Several protests fill the room. It wasn’t out of character for Kat to leave off on a cliffhanger, but this is what we have been waiting for since the end of 2008. And even a year later, Kat always leaves the carrot dangling over our heads.
“Hey,” Kat shrugs “I gotta keep you hooked or else our three month streak of all of you attending won’t keep going.”
“Oh, fuck you, Kat!” Kami rolls her eyes lightheartedly “We come back every week regardless.”
“Yeah, but it's more fun torturing you.” Kat giggled while combing through her long hair with her fingers.
Shaking my head, I took a sip on my already luke-warm Snapple, “Typical Kat. Why do you always gotta tease us like that? I was literally witnessing my character finally healing from a poison arrow and just to end at that. I totally can't wait till the next!”
“Thank you,” Kat nods before getting up and starting to pack up and the group follows suit. “I cannot wait for next session. It’s a big battle so I recommend you all start doing some research on Beholders to be ready, because this monster is really tough. Remember, we are starting the next session at level 12, and I’ll see you all soon!”
After about 10 minutes, the rest of the group left except for me. I like staying after sessions with Kat. I don’t understand why the other two people in the group don’t stay. It’s not even 9pm by the time we finished and they are already out the door.
It’s sophomore skip day tomorrow and I sure as hell know everyone will be participating so what’s the rush? Well, everyone except for Kat. From all the time I’ve known Kat up until this point, she never skipped a day or cut any corners when it came to her education. It was admirable but also frustrating. I cannot tell you how many plans I had to cancel because she wanted to study. I never understood why she was so serious about it. It’s like her life depended on her making good grades and being a shining student. I have to admit, I am jealous of her dedication to it.
I would typically leave her to her own devices when it came to school but just by looking at her, she looked like she deserved a break. With the exams and the constant verbal battles between her mother and her father, I can tell just by looking at her, the pressure is on her. I could say the same for my home situation, but I'm already used to it, that it is practically normal for me. Kat, on the other hand, really deserved a break, just this one time.
While I was playing with one of the d20 dice, gathering up courage, I asked, “Hey Kat? Whatcha going do tomorrow?”
“Oh, um.” Kat says not looking up from her notebook, making some notes for the next session. “Just going to school, I should be able to go to take our usual walks tomorrow after.”
A smile crept on my lips, as I definitely predicted Kat's answers. Sure, I did hear that the Sheriff in town was going to give tickets to those that didn't go to school, but I didn't really care about that. I just wanted to have a chill day with my friends. After all, I busted my ass to at least have passable grades.
“Hmm. Hey Kat, why don't we…you know,” I nudged her with my elbow. “Skip school tomorrow?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Kat sighs.
“I know, I know. But I just feel like these days have been for us but we just have fun tomorrow.” I could tell that I was losing Kat already, her mind dead set on going to school. I tucked a strand on my blue hair behind my ear, as I followed Kat. “Kat, please. Sometimes I worry about you because you're working yourself out. Just this once, and I'll promise I'll try to raise my Geometry class to a B!”
“I suppose…” Kat thinks for a second. “It wouldn’t hurt to skip one day.”
“Hell yeah!” I tackled Kat, as I tried to spin her around in happiness. “I promise that you'll have the best day. That jackass Sheriff won't ruin our day. I'll make sure of it!”
“Alright! Alright!” Kat giggles “Fine. Just calm down.”
I feel a sense of relief coming from Kat like I somehow unlocked one shackle that she bore on her ankles. There’s still plenty, and this one is certainly not the heaviest but the littlest weight off of her is enough for her to appreciate.
I let her go as I dashed towards my Jack Skeleton backpack, fetching out my half torn notepad. “ I scribbled some of the plans I have for tomorrow. I was thinking we could dine on Prescott Artisan Sandwiches, and then maybe hike the trail over west of Crystal Lake. What do you think?”
“Yeah!” Kat exclaims. “I heard there’s going to be a few people there tomorrow. Probably could use the social interaction, or attempt to at least.”
“We'll have the lake to ourselves,” I chuckled, placing my notepad back to my back. I really did need a new notepad, however I remember my family was very tight on money at the time. “Oh I almost forgot that Kincade might be joining us too.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kat smiles. “Honestly, that girl needs to be a bit more interactive if you ask me.” Kat chuckles. “As if I’m one to talk.”
“That's why I invited her too. I feel like you girls could get along.” I then jokingly added, “Maybe you can indoctrinate her into playing DnD with us, eh?”
“I’m sure I can.” Kat giggles. “Alright, so are you staying the night tonight? I think I can take the car tomorrow so you can stay if you like.”
“I'll stay, but I should pick up Lucy. My mom said she left her by the Landys,” I rubbed my neck in frustration as I continued. “I hate how my mom just randomly abandons Lucy to strangers. Does she know there's creeps?”
My mother always had done this multiple times, even when I was Lucy's age. A seven year old like Lucy shouldn't be in conditions like this, and I knew damn well that my father won't be available till 7AM. I thought about maybe walking up to the Landys house, maybe it was like 3 blocks or so.
“I think I'll walk to get Lucy. You wouldn't mind my little sis joining in our sleepover, right?”
“I mean, I don't have a big problem with it. Honestly, prefer it to just be you and me but I won’t be kicking and screaming if she is here.”
“That's true,” I nervously laughed, “Either way, Lucy is pretty much a sweet kid, and she will probably be distracted playing with her ballet Barbie dolls.”
Peeping through the windows, the sky was pitch black, almost like a void swallowing the whole town. I took a deep breath, before heading out of the door. Before stepping a foot outside of the wooden porch, I called out. “I'll be back, Kat. If I don't come back, the Skinned Men might’ve caught me!”
“Oh, don’t say that!” Kat calls at me as I walk away. She didn’t seem offended more lighthearted but there was a little seriousness there.
Kat always believed in the supernatural. While all of us grew up and just accepted it was just an urban legend that wasn’t real, Kat believed it. Kat even dedicated an entire essay on the history of the Skinned Man, and where the legend originated from. Needless to say, there wasn’t much to go off of and because Kat is very committed to things, she decided to embellish the details a bit and even I knew that a lot of that stuff was all pulled out of thin air and had no actual weight to it. They were just urban legends that little kids would scare others with. Along those tales were the Triple Tree.
Everyone would carve their names in the Triple Tree, serving like a talisman to these Skinned Men. If you didn’t, then I guess you were fucked. I never really carved my name, for some damn reason, my dad never let me. The moon shined brightly, casting light to these liminal streets. I was already used to walking at night, but for some odd reason, something was off. Crossing the right side of the neighborhood, I caught some headlights shining through the bushes. It looked like it belonged to an old police cruiser, and that alone made me start running. I was not a fan of the officers here, plus I was definitely violating a curfew.
“C’mon, Pauly,” I uttered under my breath, jumping through some fences.
I landed on the backside of the Landy’s house, my knees landing on top of the pavement. Hissing in pain, I slowly wobbled towards the front side of the house. It was stupid of me to think that I would magically land on my feet, but then again I had the shitiest luck. Quickly, I knocked on the door three times, after the fourth knock, the white adorned door swung open. In front of me was a cinnamon brown haired 14 year old boy, who had that bored expression that every teenager had. I recognized that boy as Parker Landy, the youngest of the Landy family.
“Uh, can I help you?” Parker wrinkled his nose, while he adjusted his glasses.
I furrowed my brows, “I’m here for my sister. For Lucy.”
“Oh, okay. Um, I guess you can come in.”
Parker reluctantly ushered me inside, as I wasted no time to search for Lucy. There, located in the dinning, Lucy was drawing while Mrs. Landy was brushing her dark little locks of hair. She was wearing a baby pink ballet uniform, the one that my dad bought her for her birthday. Ecstatic, Lucy jumped up from the chair and darted to my direction. We bid farewell to Mrs. Landy, heading out into the night. However, I caught a glimpse of her face morphing into a sorrowful look. ‘She must have been worried for us,’ I thought, mainly because it was just two girls heading out, embracing the unforgiving night.
“Pauly, where’s mommy?” Lucy’s wide eyes looked at me, grabbing my hand ever so tightly.
I sighed, thinking how to word out an appropriate response, “She’s just working a lot in the diner. So we can afford your ballet classes,” I had lied, flashing an assurring smile. I didn’t want Lucy to know the truth, she was an innocent kid after all.
Crossing up that same street again, I could sense that we were almost close to safety. Or so I thought. A slow rumbling sound of an engine followed behind. It was pitch dark outside, so I couldn’t really tell what color the vehicle was, but I did recognize it. What my eyes could grapple from what little information it had at the time, it was just that damn old police cruiser. Just as I was about to run with Lucy, the dark tinted windows rolled down, revealing an old familiar face.
“Ah little Miss Rhoades. What brings you here past curfew, hmm?” Ex Sheriff Clery asked, while flashing a very wide smile. I remember him being the Sheriff since the 1950s, not before being replaced by Robocop Walker.
Lucy bounced up and down, as she exclaimed “Me and Pauly are going home! Mommy and Daddy are still at work!”
Clery’s gaze looked back at me, his grin growing ever so slightly larger. “Oh really? It’s quite dark out here, you girls might need a lift.”
“No thank-” “Yes please!” Lucy quickly cut me off as she threw the car door open.
She quickly slithered herself in the backseat, while I was too stunned to comprehend. It left me no choice but to take this impromptu ride. Trembling, I sat next to Lucy, shutting the car door behind me. A loud click followed, as both doors were locked.
The whole ride I was scared shitless. I didn’t know why, but I guess I scared myself alot reading Missing Persons cases. I mean, I just entered a car with a person I barely knew. Yes, I know he’s a cop and his entire job is to keep us safe, but I couldn’t help but feel this sense of unease creeping into my conscious mind. It might be from the hundreds of “Stranger Danger” PSAs I’ve been fed all my young life. Lucy probably noticed how tense I looked, latching herself onto my arm.
“It's okay Pauly, the Skinned Men won't catch us anymore. We're safe here!” Lucy nuzzled on my arm, clearly obvious about the situation.
Sheriff Clery let out a chuckle, adding on “Little Lucy's right. No need to worry about those monsters when you're the old sheriff, eh?”
I nervously laughed along, just wishing that we’ll be at our destination already. That just put me even more on edge. I decided to dare a glance at the interior back mirror and I saw a pair of eyes seemingly staring at me and my sister with a look that just sent a chill down my spine. I tried to rationalize that maybe I’m just imagining things but the way he was staring at us was undeniably unsettling.
It was not after a minute later we arrived. The whole minute felt like hours, rightfully so I bolted out of the cruiser with Lucy in my arms. Before reaching the front door, the older man called out, “Be careful next time. You won’t know what’s lurking around these parts.”
After that the police cruiser drove off into the dark void of the unknown. That sentence alone carried an unsettling meaning, yet I could never pinpoint why. Objectively, it was quite normal. It was just a man showing a kind gesture but my gut was screaming not to trust this person. I tried to just brush it off as a misunderstanding but it was so strange I couldn’t.
∆∆∆
“So,” Kat began. “The place still has Prescott’s name written all over the place even after everything that happened?”
“I believe so,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I really hope it’ll be over now. Sometimes, I wished I could live on with life. Like nothing happened, you know?”
The melody of the forest sung around us as we took in the fresh day’s air and the warm embrace of the midsummer’s sun. We’ve walked through this forest hundreds of times before but it’s like discovering uncharted territories every time we step foot in it. It feels different now. It seems bleaker than it was when we were children. Maybe it’s just an optical illusion or that every memory of my childhood feels like a dream.
“God,” Kat scoffs. “I’d scrub that name off the earth if I could.”
“I have to admit, everytime I see that name, something bad always happens. It's almost as if it was cursed.” My gaze shifted back to the abundance of trees, each of them being so eerily identical. “Thomas Prescott really did sell his soul, and everyone had to pay the price.”
“Don’t remind me.” Kat almost growls like a wolf to a degree that caught me off guard.
Shit, I definitely struck a nerve there. Why? Why did that set her off the way it did? I tried to change the subject into something else. I really didn’t want to upset Kat any further, I felt guilty just by saying that.
“It’s so silent here, I don’t know if I should be on edge or relaxed.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
Kat’s eyes dart around before she runs her fingers through her hair with a sigh. It didn’t occur to me until just now that she had been watching everywhere and everything all at once. Every little movement her eyes locked onto. Could be just a natural reaction. I’m sure her line of work requires her to be hyper-vigilant so maybe it carries into her normal day-to-day life.
“You don’t need to apologize, Kat. I was the one who was pushing too much.” The wind blew softly, remnants of leaves danced in the air. It reminded alot about how life is, always pushing you in unpredictable directions. “I was thinking after this, maybe we should help each other out. My therapist gave me the advice that some wounds can’t heal by themself.”
“I can help you. I don’t really need help myself. When I was on the field, I was given state mandated therapy. It was important to do so to not go actually insane from all the messed up things we see. Trust me, there’s a reason why a lot of us quit after a few years of service.”
“ I see,” I gave Kat a crooked smile, “You're resilient, that's what I admired about you.”
Even after all those years, Kat still had those strong traits of being smart and strong. I could help but feel proud of her, and I wished her the best. I got closer to Kat, as I leaned on one of the oak trees nearby.
With a playful tone, I asked. “So when are you gonna show me how to use one of those?” I pointed at her gun.
“You?” Kat laughs. “I thought you hated loud noises?”
I shrugged, raising one of my brows. “Still do. It's just in case anything goes south. Or maybe I wanna impress somebody.”
“I’ll teach you soon. No doubt about that. I don’t have any ear protection on me and this beauty can get pretty loud.”
As we took in the forest’s lush surroundings, I noticed something that I haven’t seen before despite being out here for god knows how many times. There was a perfectly healthy tree in front of us but it seemed as if the bark had been ripped and torn definitely unnaturally; it had to have been done by someone, not an animal.
Kat and I exchange confused looks as we walk closer to the tree. Then, it all came together. I didn’t want to think that someone would have done this again. Not after the original was burnt to the ground a long time back. On the tree there were signatures. It sent an ungodly chill through my whole body. I looked over to Kat to see her reaction and she looked like she was frozen in time. With a look of shock and fear instilled upon her very body.
“It can't be. There's a new one here, but how?” My mouth was agape as I reached to touch the bark of the tree. My fingers grazed against each little individual signature. Each of them being unique, much like their owners’ names.
I look back at Kat. I realized I was mistaken, or perhaps it just shifted. Her look, it wasn't out of fear, no, it was out of resentment and hate and a boiling rage that I could tell is about to spill through. I know that even if I were to manage to say anything in this situation, I couldn’t prevent it from all coming out. What could I say? This isn’t anything I’ve seen from Kat. She always had a way to relieve her own anger but this was an anger that even the cool-minded Kat could not keep under control. Like a wildfire that had found a negligent camper’s gasoline can.
“Kat–”
“They think they can control me even in death but they can’t.” Kat whispers to herself quickly. I barely had time to process before the wildfire finally found the gas. “THEY FUCKING CAN’T!”
Kat lifts her shirt slightly, revealing her concealed gun. A Pit Viper. She draws it at a speed I barely had time to comprehend as she switches off the safety and takes a stance.
“Wait! Kat!”
That was all I could get out before I was overtaken by an ear splitting explosion. I barely had time to register the second one before the third went off. It was the same for the fourth and the fifth. My ears rang the loudest they have ever in my life as the pain in my ears set in and the agony of my head throbbing so hard that I thought my brain would burst from it alone. The sounds echoed through the forest. All the birds and the bugs and creatures stopped in unison as if Kat slain them herself.
And then.
Silence.

My first experience with TTRPGs was when I joined the DND club in 8th grade. This was a while ago so I might have gaps in my memory, especially considering my mental health at the time. Middle school was a very bad time for me and I've always been very creative and imaginative, so I was looking forward to finding an escape in a fun fantasy world and becoming someone else. That did not happen. Instead I got a very stressful year long task to stop my party members from destroying themselves and everything around them, while trying to appease a very harsh DM that was there via nepotism.
TLDR: My first campaign was a mess because my party members were absolutely feral, our DM got away with everything because his mother was the teacher leading the club, and I spent the entire campaign miserably trying to keep everyone alive and together so I was unable to roleplay or develop my character. I missed one session and they blamed me for something they did while I was gone that was so horrible it killed all of our pets, including many of mine.
To start, I'll establish the characters. Obviously I will not be using any real names, and I will use the same names for both the player and their characters.
First, my friend Michael (who was a pleasant surprise, considering I didn't know he had also joined the club) made a rogue. He was either human or half-elf or something. He's chill, but a little neurotic. He obsesses over things and will focus on a task until it's completion.
A boy, Elliot, was a human paladin. His character was the tallest of the group by far, which was funny when considering his friend, Rory, was a gnome cleric and therefore the shortest. They were kind of a dynamic duo.
Then there was Kaya. Kaya was my "best friend" throughout all of middle school. I refused to believe it at the time, but she was terribly abusive to me. You'll see a glimpse into how that manifests later. She played an elven... rogue. I pointed out that having two rogues was probably going to unbalance the team a little, but Michael made his character first and Kaya was edge lord supreme so she refused to budge. She named her character after a Homestuck character, then declared her alignment to be chaotic evil. Elliot said that his paladin would never team up with a chaotic evil rogue, and the DM agreed that it wouldn't make much sense for them to be in a party together, so she begrudgingly agreed to change it to chaotic neutral. Her play-style did not reflect that change.
Then there was me. My character was a half elf who was either a wizard or a sorcerer, I can't recall. She was chaotic good, at first, but that quickly changed to neutral good. She was kind and empathetic and absolutely nothing else because I never got the opportunity to develop her, and you'll see why.
As for the DM, Aiden, he was... interesting. He was a high school student that came to DM for the middle school DND club because his mother was the teacher that ran it. More on him as we progress through the story.
I remember being a little disappointed because one of the DMs for the club was a teacher that I liked a lot, but he was already running a campaign.
Session zero was just character creation, really, there was no actual play that meeting, which was fine since we were all new to the game and needed help making character sheets. They made us roll for absolutely everything, including height, weight, and age. I found this amusing because I got fairly good rolls and my "best friend" Kaya got a middle aged short and stout character which she was deeply annoyed about. I teased her about it a little because she always made fun of my height (I'm 4'10", and was probably honestly an inch or two shorter back then). She did not take kindly to the teasing and got really upset and demanded to reroll, but we were short on time and those rolls weren't even that relevant so we just continued.
Aiden made me roll for what spells I got initially, but he let me choose one myself. I chose Charm Person because I thought it would be pretty helpful. Then I rolled and got Feather Fall (and I think I also got Shield? Though I might have gotten it later). I was disappointed because I didn't get any that would do damage. We all started at level 1. I didn't get any cantrips... I think I asked about them but he said to not worry about it so I listened to him.
The first real session, we were put in a charming little town with an undead problem. It was a good setup and a simple introduction for us as new players. All of the townsfolk in that village were named Hector, which I thought was delightful. So we'll call the starting village Hectorville. We decided to browse the shops while it was daylight and get equipped. Given freedom of choice for the first time in a game like this, Kaya and I instantly went and bought 30 live chickens between the two of us. I think 10 were mine and 20 were hers. We never really did anything with the chickens, we just thought it was funny to have 30 chickens trailing us at all times. That was the only chaotic thing I managed to do the entire game. I also bought a horse, which took a huge chunk of my funds but I loved her, I think I named her Eclipse. I might have also bought a dog, though I could've gotten him later I really don't remember. Either way I spent a LOT of my funds on animals. These animals are important later.
When we were in one of the shops, while we were having a lovely discussion with the shopkeeper, Artist Hector, Kaya was looking around for any particularly valuable items. There was an expensive enchanted necklace in a display case, and of course her first instinct was to steal it. I tried to tell her no, as we just started in this town and we should stay in good standing with the locals, but she waited a bit and went for it anyway. I think she failed and Artist Hector yelled at her.
After we did the initial quest of taking out a few of the undead, we were tasked by an elderly man to head to a windmill a little ways away from Hectorville to get rid of the wolves that had taken it over. I think the windmill also had something to do with the source of the undead. I managed to convince the old man to guide us to the windmill, though he waited a good distance away for us to avoid getting into any danger himself.
Long story short, we were absolutely no match for these wolves. We were torn to shreds and had a TPK. We were all really bummed out, and Aiden gave us mercy for the first and last time. We woke up in Hectorville, but at a cost. The old man had dragged us all back, and he had died from the strain of it all. I was super sad and I suggested that we go pay our respects at his grave. When we got there, I tried to do a little bit of roleplay and say a few words in honor of the old man, but Kaya immediately jumped in and asked if she could dig up his grave and rob his corpse. I was absolutely horrified and pleaded with her to reconsider and have some respect for him. She wouldn't listen and I told her that he probably wouldn't even have anything good on him anyways since he was just an old guy from a small town. The other players seemed kind of amused but stayed out of it, though they seemed to think it was slightly too disrespectful to do as well.
Obviously she didn't listen and she found a shovel and dug up his grave. All he had on his corpse was like a copper piece, a ring, and a picture of his wife or something. She was disappointed even though I'd warned her that would be the case. She wanted to dig up more graves but we voted to leave the graveyard to prevent her from getting us kicked out of the town.
The pattern begins.
Our journey continues, we travel, we go on little side quests, we get into combat, I'm basically useless in most combat scenarios since I have no damage spells and only have like, a dagger.
I started to notice that the DM is a little harsh. He'll make fights a little too difficult, enforce strange rules, etc. It's fine, it's nothing we can't work around (at first). We pretty much never did any actual roleplay, and when we did we were very awkward about it because we never got the chance to practice and get comfortable. Every time I went on for more than a sentence or two, Kaya would butt in and take control of the conversation or end the dialogue entirely with one of her antics. My character was not allowed to develop into a person, she was just the mediator trying desperately to hold onto four leashes.
I genuinely cannot remember if there was a main quest. I think he just kind of kept throwing various smaller quests at us, which was alright but I'm not sure if it ever felt like we were actually progressing. It was basically just us doing whatever we wanted, which actually meant everyone else in the party getting to do whatever they wanted and me trying to keep everyone from dying, or getting too separated and off track, or putting a comically high bounty on our heads, things like that.
At some point we meet an incredibly tall orange man. I'm talking comically tall, and not proportionally that wide, and he had like a little smiley face I think. His name was Orange. We loved him dearly. He essentially joined the party, and we could call him whenever we needed him.
At some point Elliot and Rory had an idea. Establish the Church of Orange. We all agreed, I was very on board since it was funny and harmless and could be a good side task to work on for the duration of the game. We built a little chapel and recruited some members and Orange was kind of just chilling, he didn't seem to mind.
Elliot and Rory decided that their characters should get married at the chapel. This was a spur of the moment decision and was one of the better roleplaying moments. Kaya surprisingly didn't butt in at all but honestly I think it was just because she was a fujoshi and weirdly obsessed with gay men. After they got married, they asked if they could adopt Orange as their strange son. They did so, and doted on him a lot. They were very proud of their boy.
After a little, though, they adopted me too for some reason. It was fine for a second before it quickly devolved into them berating me and praising Orange for no reason at all. They were incredibly harsh to my character and I asked if I could disown them but Aiden said no. Eventually they must've not found it that funny anymore so they stopped and essentially dropped that plotline.
Whenever someone missed a session, Aiden would make one of the remaining players take over and play both characters throughout the session. This included making important decisions on behalf of the player, with absolutely no restrictions. I thought this was a very bad idea and suggested we just have the character follow behind quietly or be off doing something else for the session, but Aiden doubled down and I quickly relented. I made it a point to never miss a session if I could help it.
One time, a few months in, Elliot missed a session and I was assigned his character. We got to a point where we had to all jump over a river of lava, and we had to roll to succeed. I rolled too little for Elliot's character. I begged Aiden to let me reroll or just let Elliot's character live because it wouldn't be fair to kill his character off when he wasn't there. He said absolutely not and Elliot's character fell in the lava and died.
I was very upset about this, and after the session I went to the club leader. I told her what happened and how he was frequently very harsh in his rulings, making it more stressful than fun. He was her son, so she defended him and brushed it off entirely. She also said he was autistic, so I should just let him do whatever. I am also autistic, but I didn't know it at the time. I did, however, know that my older sister had autism, and I'd known several other autistic people in my life. I empathized and understood that autism can make it very hard to understand tone and social cues and such, I struggle with that myself, but that didn't mean that she should baby him and never correct him on his mistakes. While my sister and others treat it as an explanation, he treated it as an excuse.
I mentioned his DMing style seeming odd or ruining the fun to her several times but she always took his side, so eventually I gave up.
Thankfully, when Elliot returned, he wasn't upset with me. I apologized profusely but he was very chill about it. He was a little bummed but he was content with making a new character. I don't remember what character he made after that, honestly.
At some point Michael's character also died, but Michael is the kind of guy who takes that in stride and moves on no problem. His character wasn't really developed anyways so I'm not sure he was even that attached to him. His new character was pretty similar. He was honestly the person who gave me the least amount of headaches and he is still my friend to this day. Shoutout to Michael!
We had a portal arc where we keep finding portals and going in without thinking it through, much to my protest.
Antics ensue, things happen, we go to a sandwich dimension where everything is made of sandwiches, there's a sandwich version of Michael's dead character, I find a breaded chicken (alive) and I adopt it, it's delightful. Kaya is still a constant headache and getting us into trouble, the other three are no help and honestly Elliot and Rory get into an equal amount of antics but they make it less of my problem.
We go on a quest in the ocean in a Bioshock-like underwater structure, Kaya is Kaya and upsets a large squid and we spend the rest of the session in squid-court for squid harassment.
There's a point where we're about to have a TPK, we're all on low HP and there's seemingly no hope. I feel useless, magic fire is closing in on us, and I suddenly have an idea. I ask if I can use my magic shield around us to protect us from the flames. He says yes. FINALLY! I'm useful! It's a really good day for me!
Then the absolute worst thing happens. I miss one session. Just one.
I come back mid siege. We're the ones sieging the town. I'm very confused and starting to panic and the first thing I ask is "which town and why?"
They answer with 'Hectorville. I dunno, we felt like it.'
I am absolutely appalled. I'm gone for one session and they're laying siege to our starting town filled with helpless Hectors? It's been going on for a while apparently and the Hectors had started getting desperate. A few fight back, but Kaya is way too happy to kill them (very violently). I'm still reeling and trying to catch up with whatever is going on. I'm asking a bunch of questions and not liking the answers one bit. They said my character agreed to it, which is so incredibly far out of character that I'm mad at the DM for even allowing it. They could probably have done it even without my vote so why'd they have to add insult to injury? Finally I ask, "Hey, where's Orange? And please tell me you left our chickens and pets in a safe place."
Aiden says the party left them inside one of the buildings. I asked, "in town?" and he said yes. The rest of the party was still smiling and were confused as to why I was asking about this until I slowly clarified, "you left our favorite NPC, and all our pets, in a town that you decided to siege. You left our 30 chickens in a town that you are purposefully starving?"
The entire mood of the table shifted from amused joy to shock and upset. Rory and Elliot were worried about Orange. Kaya was upset about her chickens, mildly concerned about Orange, and very upset about her dog. Michael was still mildly amused, actually. Probably enjoying their karma.
It was the end of the siege and so we rush in to the town full of Hector corpses and stepping over the few that are alive but too weak and hungry to move or attack us, and we head straight for where they left Orange and the pets.
Orange is alive and well, but all the pets are dead. I'm absolutely crushed. I beg Aiden to tell me that at least my horse is outside. He says no, Eclipse was in the building with the rest of them. All the pets had been eaten by the Hectors and by Orange, and he mentioned that Orange even ate a few of the Hectors when the pets ran out. Suddenly Elliot and Rory are appalled by Orange and they hate him. The complete 180 was baffling to me. It wasn't Orange's fault they left him in there and then sieged the place. It was entirely their fault.
Kaya is incredibly upset and she turns to me at the table and she starts yelling at me. "This is all your fault! You should've stopped us!"
I yelled back, "how? I was sick at home! You shouldn't have done this, you can't blame me for it! I wasn't even there!"
But for some reason she kept insisting that it was my fault that they decided to lay siege and she kept saying very insulting words towards me, calling me a b**** among other things, and I started crying.
Kaya and I didn't talk for a few days after that. This was relatively common, actually. She would get into an argument with me on purpose, then blame me for it, and then she would refuse to apologize and not talk to me for days. She sometimes started talking to me again out of the blue like nothing had happened, but usually she would actually start talking again if I had something she wanted, like food. She would only ever apologize when I refused to give her food until she said sorry. It was really childish, even for middle school.
I was so incredibly upset with all of them, especially Kaya, and I was absolutely baffled as to how Aiden let them do any of this to my character and her property without my consent. I reiterated how unfair it was to let huge character decisions be made when the player isn't present. He absolutely did not care and he seemed to find it funny.
In the final session, Aiden allowed us to do pretty much whatever we wanted, even manipulate reality. Like a sort of non-canon sandbox. That was nice, I suppose, but it couldn't make up for how absolutely exhausting the whole campaign was for me. In the end, I'm fairly certain we were all only level 2. Basically nothing was accomplished over the year-long campaign except giving me more things to talk about at therapy after I graduated middle school.
Thankfully, this first experience with DND didn't turn me off of the game forever. I've played in a few mini campaigns since, DMed for a campaign, and I'm working on preparing to DM again. I would love to be a player at some point again for a proper campaign, though. I feel like I need to replace that awful player experience with a much better one.
Also Kaya and I cut each other off the second we got to High School. At first I would honestly have mild panic attacks every time I saw her in the halls, but I got therapy and eventually I was able to ignore her. Haven't spoken to her in over 5 years at this point and I do not plan to ever again.
Thanks for reading this far, I know it was a long one!

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Z Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to... ...me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note! Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A... ...really tall? No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What's your name? A..., Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do... No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in
the morning... I'm making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... ... so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That's enough. He's ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You monster. I'm not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who's hiding them? Ok, I'll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don't tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you're not a king. A..., felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a... ...you're not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome... Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two... -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no. Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You've chosen... princess Fiona. She's nice. Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone... But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night... -I'll do it! -Yes, but after sunset... Silence! I will make this princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest man. We're going to have a tournament! That's it, that's, right there, that's Duloc. I've told you I'll find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad's castle. Aha, that's the place. Do you think maybe he's compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just... It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let's do that again. -No. no. All right. You're going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That champion should have the honor, no, no... ...the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it's hideous. Oh, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can't we just settle this over a pint? No? All right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank you, very much. I'm here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All right Ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don't have, 'cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you ever met a person and you say: "Hey, let's get some paffe" and they say I don't like paffe. Paffe is delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know I think I've preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, 'cause I'm making a mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. It's brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they don't come of stone neither. Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of highs. No, I'm just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I'm right here beside you. Ok? For emotional support. We'll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really? -Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don't look down. Don't look down, don't look down. Shrek! I'm looking down! I can't do this. Just let me off right now, please. -But you're already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don't do that! Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that! Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I'm doing it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Here's a..., something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there's dragon that breathes fire. I'm sure he's meaner than a cow or anything, but they're scare. You know what I mean. I'm sure he's heavier than a cow... Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she'll be there? I read it
in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll ???. That's right. Those stairs won't know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I'd step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the... -Dragon! Donkey, look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean 'course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just ricking the feminine beauty out. What's the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know I'm a asthmatic and I don't know if we would worked out. You'd be blowing smoke and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that's nice. Now let's go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there's no time. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Uh-um. But we have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. I don't think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn't right. ??? That's what all the other knights did. Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That's not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. ...rush into a physical relationship. I'm not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, let's just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don't do that. That's my tail. That's ma personal tail. And you're going to tear it off.... Oh, no. No! -It talks?! -Yeah. It's getting to shut up, that's a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I'll take care of the dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you're wonderful. You're a ... ...a little unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I'm entirely in your debt. And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She thinks I'm a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah, no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you wouldn't, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in a job description. -Maybe it's a perk? -No. It's destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love's first kiss. With Shrek? You think, wait... ...you think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love. What is so funny? Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok? Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now, now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You're an Ogre. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He's the one, who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn't he come to rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You're not making my job any easier. Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy, all right? -I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I'm right behind you. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here's another question. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? Just tell her, she's not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you
find... Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It's beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What's he like? Well, let me put it this way, princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you're right princess. But I'd like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods. Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don't think this is decent for princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I'll be d..., good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, 'cause I will... I said good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just..., you know... Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And that one, that's Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look. There's Blodna, the "Flatulent" You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know you're making this up. No. Look. There he is and there's the group of hunters running away from his stag. Man, there ain't nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. We? Donkey, there is no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No, do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I'm not blocking. -Oh yes you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we're getting somewhere. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. Hey, what's your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I'm not the one with the problem, ok? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: AAA... Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn't think you're just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Yeah, I know. So, a... Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there's a Cabby. The small and annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That's the moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby... -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What's all this about? You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. Thanks. Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in I always say. But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. You know. You're not exactly what I've expected. Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green...beast. Hey! That's my princess. Go find your own. Please, monster. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are. Oh, of course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was annoying. Oh, you little... Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there's a... There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh, would you look at that. Oh, no... This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek's going to die. -Donkey, I'm ok. You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone
know how to handle... -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I'll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It's tender. What you're doing here is the opposite... -Don't move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you... Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I'm coming! Not good. Ok, ok, I can lose it. It's just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a... Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just... Au! Hey, what's that? Is that... There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That's Duloc? Yeah. I know. You'll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek... -I'm worried about Donkey. -What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -Well, that's what they always say. And the next thing you know you're on your back. -Dead! -You know she's right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I'll make you up some tea. Well, I won't say nothing, but I've got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? -He's hungry. I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can't feel my thumbs. I don't have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I'll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I'd like that. -Ah... , princess? -Yes, Shrek? I'm a.... I was wondering. Are you... a... Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn't this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It's late. It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You're afraid of the dark. Aren't you? Yes, yes. That's it. That's, I'm terrified. You know I'll better go inside. But don't feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. Until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I really see what's going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don't wanna even hear. Look, I'm an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that... well you know. I'm not saying that I do, 'cause I don't. She's a princess and I'm... ...an Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess. Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It's very spooky in here and are we playing little games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It's ok. It's ok. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I'm the princess. -It's me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. -Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I'll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You're a... different. -I'm ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I've been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I've never seen you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss. Then, take love's true form... -Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Wait, wait, I'll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7. But Donkey, I'm a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell. But you know,
you're kind of an Ogre. And Shrek... Well you've got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I... How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I'm ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty. And, well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you're pretty. But I like you anyway. A.... I'm in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you've got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. Promise you won't tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I'm going to need whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. Look at my eye twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There's something I want ... Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I... There's something I have to tell you. You don't have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You've heard what I said? -Every word. I thought you'd understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no... forgive me my lord for I was just saying short... farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the Ogre. -It's not like it has feelings. -No. You're right. It doesn't. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd... No! I mean I... Why wait? Let's get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do. There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests... Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There's something about her that you don't know. -I talked to her last night. She's... -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You're great pal, aren't you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn't you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I thought... -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That's your half and this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you, yet. -Well, I'm through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that's what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... ...somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. The wedding! We'll never make it in

Hi there everyone. This’ll be another part of the strangeness that has been my life. However, It just seemed right, since I shared my first story so it’d be only fair I share this one too. My name is Joey. I'm a 24 year old man. I live in Utah and if you’ve read the title you’ll know that this is about an older Church. One I used to go as a child at 6 years old. I grew up around and inside the Churches that have infested the entire state. Anyone that's been around Utah knows exactly what I’m talking about. Those that don’t, there’s a lot of Churches around here. So much so, throw a rock in a direction and follow and you’ll visit one. I’ll start off by telling you all about my childhood a bit.
I grew up into an adoptive family. During that time, 2006 was growing. With the dynamic being my Mom, Dad, Newly adopted sister and me. This year happened to be the same year my consciousness formed and memories started forming into my long term brain. My thinking during the time wasn’t entirely clear but my memory makes my body feel a shudder throughout my innards. I believe it’s time to get into my background during this year. For those that don’t want to know feel free to skip the next paragraph. Though the context is that I was abused. Making my prayers to God much stronger. So there's that warning.
My father was a drunk. I feel I don’t need to explain more here. My mother was more self preservative than I could ever know. Days and Nights blended together in my head a lot from my childhood. My mind blocked out a lot of those moments. My abuse was much more than my sister. Mostly because I took protective stance and hid my sister often while my mother would leave us there in the horrors of my fathers drunken fist. This happened this whole year all while the main story occurs.
Prayers. These were what kept me company after I had been left bloodied. Sundays were always somewhat of a safe haven at times. If you haven’t been, there’s a room inside some Churches that’s a large room with lots of windows used for prayer specifically. Sometimes, in my Church we used it for events or for youth group prayer. Never made very many friends in school or inside my time at Church. However, this is where things always felt weird and my memory persists something was wrong even as a 6 year old child.
The light of the day would shine through the windows inside the room and I would pray. Sometimes by myself. Praying my heart out that God had a plan to save me and my sister from the pain. Asking questions like “Why us?” “Were we bad kids?” “Did our parents love us?”. All hard questions to listen to. Especially coming from such an innocent boy. Every Sunday I’d end up in that room. Either alone or with few. Staying until the Church would close. As we only lived a block away from my house my family would leave me there knowing I knew my way home. It must have happened sometime in the summer when I first noticed it. I was praying just like I did every other Sunday when I caught a glimpse of it in the sunshine. A porcelain button on the back left thigh of the statue. This was odd and my child's curiosity got the best of me. I pressed it. I remember a door unlocking from behind the statue. Being small enough at the time I squeezed past and opened it. Closing it behind me.
It was dim but had some light from the old bulbs that lined the halls before me. I wasn’t as scared as I probably should’ve been but from my previous story you’ll know I wasn’t always the brightest. These halls were small to say the least. My own body could barely maneuver between the walls and it didn’t seem to get larger by any means. I recall walking for some time. To a child it was an eternity. A whole 20 minutes. But, I finally reached another door by then. I pushed it open to reveal that the way was sealed. By brick and cement. Saddened to not find narnia at the end of the halls I turned back and walked back. I made it back in time as the person closing didn’t even notice I left and escorted me out of the Church.
This wasn’t the last time I’d visit, obviously. I took a crude tool I made on my own calling it my “pickaxe” It was 2 old hammers I found in my fathers shed and happened to stick them on one hammer handle with nothing but caveman brute force and hopes I could get through that brick and cement to see what was behind it.. The pickaxe was just the two hammer heads with the nail removers facing outward. I remember this took me about a month's time to craft.
The next time I visited the door was on a saturday when we still had access to the Church but no sermon was held. So I took my weekends very seriously that fall. I would leave my pickaxe and a ninja turtles backpack there so I could dump the rocks and rubble just outside in the school yard a few feet down. The expeditions became my childhood obsession. An escape from my home life. It was only after I started leaving that my mother took my sister with her to my aunts house on the weekend. I continued throughout school when it picked back up in september. By this point however, I was getting closer. Closer than I ever thought I could.
It wasn’t long after this that my mom and dad got a divorce. I never minded it. Honestly, my first thought was how I could stay longer and see what was finally behind that door. Never had a second thought about the implications of the divorce or even that I was to stay with my dad for the time being. My mom always assured me she’d come back for me. It never happened. Despite the small delay from this I was quick to go back to the halls. The room had stayed empty for a lot of the weekend as they got colder and colder. Less and less people would stay around the prayer area. Soon after I remember it reached November. I was ecstatic when I breached the wall for the first time.
My life hadn’t been easy that year. Yet finally I was at the cusp of my adventure and I finally would receive my treasure. It didn’t matter if it was gold or a penny. I did it and it took me away from the horrors of my home life. Even if little me had no friends at the time until I met Michael, Ben and Austin later on. As in my previous escapades. I didn’t feel lonely. Only that I felt happiness for what felt like the first time that year. It was only when I saw what was behind it did I realize that I never should have chipped away at that wall. I should’ve stayed home and tried to make friends at school. Instead I decided to fly too close to the sun. In search of something that would change my life. Somehow in an odd way it did. Just not in the way I wished it would’ve.
The breach of light hit me. I saw through the hole I had made just large enough for me to see inside. It was another Church room. This one was, however, empty and dark. The windows shone only moonlight as I looked through. Yet I still knew in my head that it had only been about a couple hours according to my Spider-Man watch. Somewhere closer to 3PM that afternoon. So how was this place dark? How was the Moon out? Where is everyone? Why is it gross looking inside? These questions flooded my mind as I continued to chip away at the brick. To which by the end of this day I could easily stick my arm out of the hole I’d created.It seemed like literal magic to me. This must be something that God has finally given me. The thought my prayers had been answered flooded my mind the following week. Waiting and waiting for more answers. Thinking I just had to make it to Saturday that week. By the time I had gotten back on Saturday my expedition resumed and I was as eager as ever. When finally I had a terrible realization that same evening. My pickaxe was severely beaten and broken due to me just smacking it against the wall with all my force. It look disheveled and honestly I think back now and It most certainly should’ve broken many weeks prior. So my solution? Replace the tops with my dads 2 other hammer heads I had found earlier that summer. Wasn’t like he ever left his room other than to grab another pack of miller.
I should’ve seen something coming after taking the hammers. My dad soon went to work on a project and found that his hammers (all 4) had gone missing and I was the only one at the house. So inevitably I got grounded and beat. Luckily I left my bag and pickaxe at the halls. The next two weeks were agonizingly slow. Thoughts of what would be through that odd magic door rushed through my head endlessly. So much so I didn’t even get that much sleep by the end of the week. Regardless, I went to Church that Saturday morning. The same people there tried to greet me but I ignored them this time. Many were concerned about the black eye I had that was just barely going away now. At last I made it back to the spot I dug. I saw my Ninja Turtle backpack and my pickaxe waiting for me. The hole however, was larger than I had previously remembered. Enough so that my body almost fit. My child brain assumed that maybe it had been something like wind or something. We just learned about erosion a bit in school so it seemed logical at the time. Within the hour I was in. I left my bag and pickaxe and entered the old Church. I looked around and found myself in a regularly lit room with the sun out and shining. Though I didn’t understand why it looked like night time when I went looking through the sealed doorway earlier. My first thought was that maybe it was just later than I thought it was. My watch said 6 PM which meant I had about an hour before my dad would notice I wasn’t home. So I journeyed forward.
The Church resembled the one I came from. Eerily so. Same statue. Same layout. Even the same odd scratches and bumps I used to notice on the walls. The same all around but just backwards. Like everything had flopped on its head. When I left the large prayer room identical to the one I had left to get here. I saw a man at the podium. He didn’t look like my own pastor. He wore darker clothing and wore a symbol. A symbol I never saw before. Almost resembling the cross you might see at a train stop? He also spoke about scripture that I don’t remember. Reading from a book that was much thicker and more dense than that of the one I saw regularly on the weekends. Confused, I just listened. The sermon enticed me. Felt even more fulfilling than the current bible I recognized. I still remember the line that was spoken that drove it home for me. “To he who seeks heaven and hell shall find it. Naught to he who merely thinks about the idea but the ones that create it in their mind’s eye and heart. Heaven and hell are but concepts bestowed upon by the false idols of this world. The one true idol shant be the idea of these idols but the belief in oneself as the idol you imagine to be true.” I wrote down these words in my little notepad I had brought along to catalog my journey.
Listening to this filled me with the idea that I was in control of the things that happened. Not my father. Not god. Joey. After the sermon which lasted only a few minutes after the statement, I would walk up and talk to the man who spoke so clearly. I remember our small conversation from the notes I took.
“Hey there mister!”
“Hey buddy! Did you like the sermon?” He spoke so calmly and warm that I almost cried upon hearing him.
“That was really cool what you said.”
Thank you! Well I haven’t seen you here before. Where are you from?” The calmness in his voice never once struck me with malice.
“Down the street near the school. Right next to the 7-11. I get slushies there sometimes” I remember how hot my face was as I did my best to try and impress what I thought could be my new friend.
“OH! Yeah I know where you’re talking about. Do you know where you’re at buddy?” His question was the first time I felt he had some concern in his voice.
“No. I just found out this place was here.” I recall vividly looking down in shame.
“Well. We’re not really outside. See?” He revealed to me that a light on the windows could be turned on and off. Showing a moonlit night or what was currently the day time light.
Stunned, I immediately went into a small panic. “Then where is this place?”
He looked at me. Almost with a hatful look only a man I knew all too well would give me. I fully expected to be beat at this point. To my surprise he didn’t. He just told me a story. “What's your name buddy?”
“Joey, I’m 6.”
“Joey, huh. That’s funny. My name is Joseph but my friends can call me Joe.” His face turned into a very heartfelt smile.
“Hi there Mr. Joseph”
“Hey! I said my friends call me Joe! We’re friends aren’t we Joey?” this sentence made me feel a little more weary but nothing that seriously made me question anything.
“Yeah, hi Joe”
“Joey. Would you like to hear my story? How did I get here? Then maybe we can talk about how you got here?” This felt warranted afterall we did just meet and I was curious how he ended up here without my genius pickaxe.
“Yeah. I think that’s fair.” I think at this point my nerves got the best of me as I started to swing my legs back and forth.
He started.
“Joey, It was 1979 and I was just right out of highschool. I was gonna end up in the U! You know what the U is right?”
He chuckled as I nodded but this pause wasn’t long before he started up again.
“Well, I made it there. Met a beautiful beautiful girl. Her name was Marie. She was the love of my life Joey. She was my everything. I used to go with her everywhere. To the parlor where she’d drink soda and ice cream with her friends. I’d see her at the park or the drive-in theater sometimes. She’d always be so hard to get through Joey. She never said yes a single time I asked her out. Over and over throughout my college years I would ask and ask. It drove me nuts!”
He laughed so hard he threw himself into a coughing fit. After it he began again after patting my back. This time his expression was heavy and looked just like how my dad used to look at me before a beating. So I cringed back only for him to continue.
“Joey, do you know how lonely it is when a person you love doesn’t love you back?”
I nodded and I remember a tear or two fell from my cheeks as I recalled the way my father treated me. “Yeah I do. My dad isn’t very nice to me.”
He wiped my tears in a caring manner. “Joey, I did something really bad. I loved Marie so much and she kept saying no. I got upset and instead of talking to her. Ugh. Well. She had a boyfriend at the time. I killed him, Joey. It was in their house. Afterward, Marie woke up and she couldn’t believe it. She was gonna call the cops, Joey. So I ended up killing her too.”
The tone of his voice must’ve made me not think of the real intentions of the story. “So you’re a bad person than?” I reluctantly asked.
“Passionate, Joey. I did everything I could time and time again only for her not to love me. I found this place after I killed her. She went to Church in the other building. I carved all the rest of the bumps and scratches so that it would look like a reflection to most. I found this place with the button. Came here and I sealed up the entrance. Gathered up food and water from the store nearby and everything down here works great buddy. I don’t have to go back up. This also means I can’t let you leave. If the police find me then it’s all over and you can’t hear my sermons anymore. Don’t you want to hear more?”
Not quite understanding the situation at hand I nodded and agreed. I couldn’t go back to my dad after finding this kind person with the warm voice. Though I wrote most of what he said in my notepad that night. I slept in what felt like home for the first time in forever. I asked Joe why the place was built before we went to bed. He told me a small story about how the halls were supposed to be widened so that it could be a two story Church capable of housing more people than any other Church could. The building process became too pricey so they stopped production but apparently it turned to legend and he stumbled upon it when running away from his crime. Coming to the Church to repent. He found a book inside left by some teenagers. Apparently a book on satanic beliefs were the only thing he had close to him. So he wore the robes and ended up preaching to himself every weekend since. He dyed it a purple black from some beets and vinegar. I enjoyed my night with Joe. He was my friend.
A week had passed by. I hadn’t left Joe’s side as he taught me the insides and outs of the Satanic bible he held in his hands. I listened so intently that I couldn’t even think about going home now. I had food, candies, water, and juice boxes. All sorts of stuff. These were old storage stuff to last at least 40 years. Shelves and shelves of goods. For one man he’d only gone through about 5 years worth. He taught me about some of the power he felt from fasting. An idea I strongly hated at the time, but still I respected him for it. It wasn’t long before he indoctrinated me as his first disciple. I felt like I had a dad for the first time. He talked to me about school and everything in my life so far. He helped me learn to actually tie my shoes. He ended up teaching me more than I could ever learn from my dad back home. By this point it had been 3 weeks. I felt comfortable with Joe. Loved the way he made me feel. Like I was finally a person. Rather than a burden set upon my parents. I treated him better than I ever did the god I previously worshiped. After about a month or so we celebrated new years together and made loud noise and sang about our scripture and I thanked Satan for bringing me the thing I wanted most. A dad who loved me.
2 months in I was cleaning the place. Joe had tried to seal the hole but failed multiple times. The stuff was a bit too old to be used now. This would mark the police's first investigative lead on me. Since my disappearance my mother had been searching everywhere. The cameras of the Church had been searched, people interrogated. My dad was the first suspect in my homicide case. I say homicide because my dad was always spouting how I went and got myself killed. February marked an interesting time for me. The police found out my patterns. This led them down the path of getting a search warrant for the Church. They found the button in March of 2007. Shortly after this they found the wall. Found my bag. Found the pickaxe.
They blew it down. They shot Joe. “Saved” me.
Little did they know. I never wanted to go back. I still believe his teachings. He was my dad. He will always be my dad in my heart. I love you Joe. I miss you. Wish we had more time.

Hi everyone,
To preface, my business is located in a small town that is predominantly wealthy white people.
Recently, one of my employees, Ann, was performing a pedicure for a regular client. During the pedicure, Ann accidentally dropped a file into the pedicure tub and later lightly poked the client while cleaning under her toenails. The client, visibly annoyed, said, "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face." Ann continued the service and the client left without further incident.
Later, Ann wrote a letter to the client, which I handed to her on Kim's behalf without knowing the details or the letter's content. The client returned to the salon, furious and threatening to sue. The letter from Ann read:
"You and your mom came in to get pedicures done by me. It seems like you might have already had a bad day when you arrived. When you sat down, I accidentally dropped a file into your pedicure tub. It didn't touch you, and I quickly pulled it out and apologized, but you gave me an angry look. I tried my best to be as gentle as I could. Finally, when I was cleaning under your toenails, I accidentally poked you very lightly without causing harm. It left no bleeding or scratches. You then looked at me again and said, 'Ann, if you do that one more time, I will kick you in the face.'
This is an act of insulting and humiliating others. You can say my job is bad, but you have no right to insult me. If you think because you paid money, you have the right to be angry with someone, then nobody wants that kind of money from you. Keep your money to yourself! Let me give you a few suggestions to control your nasty behavior.
If you're having a bad day and your foul mouth may hurt people, please help others by staying home. If you're mentally unwell, seek help immediately so that others do not have to endure your trauma and negativity. Good luck with your nasty personality!"
Now that I've spoken with Ann, I am made aware of the incident.
I wrote an email to the client explaining that her behavior was unacceptable and supporting Kim:
"I am writing to address the incident that occurred during your visit to ____ on ____ and the letter you have received now that I've spoken to Ann. She went on medical leave on ____ and I was not made aware of this exchange until you and I spoke on ____.
Ann informed me that during your appointment, she accidentally dropped a file and lightly poked you, which understandably may have been frustrating. However, she has confirmed you responded by threatening physical harm, stating, "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face".
Ann has been an incredible employee of ours for years and we have no cause to disbelieve her account of the events.
We strive to create a safe and respectful environment for both our clients and our staff. Threatening violence is a serious matter, and we cannot condone it under any circumstances. While we regret any inconvenience caused during your visit, responding with threats is not an appropriate nor acceptable reaction.
Regarding the letter you received from Ann, I acknowledge this entire situation could have been handled more professionally. For this, I apologize. However, the core issue remains your derogatory choice of words, which prompted an emotional response from Ann.
We do not welcome customers who believe it is acceptable to disrespect our staff. Everyone deserves to work in an environment free from fear and intimidation."
The Client's Response:
"I’m completely shocked to my core that it was indeed Ann who sent me that hateful and spiteful letter. I cannot understand for the life of me how a member of your staff can have such shameful behavior validated. You call it unprofessional, I call it utterly appalling.
What is so disappointing to me is that I really loved having Ann do my nails, which is why I always requested her. She’s excellent at her job, and I thought, a nice person whom I enjoyed a joshing and playful relationship that developed over time. She’s a Mother of a little boy and I have 2 boys that are older than hers so we would talk about our families. I would even hug her when I left because I liked her so much. I used to look forward to seeing her and trusted her with nail colour choices and design and felt relaxed, safe and looked after in her company.
I showed the letter to some of my friends and the girl who sometimes has her nails done with me remembers the incident. We were happy and laughing and giggling together as we’re super close so there are already discrepancies in Ann’s account. My friend and I often have pedicures together and it was on one of those occasions that my friend reminded me what happened.
She remembered Ann poking me by accident (it so didn’t bother me that I honestly cannot remember her dropping something into the water. That’s how insignificant her mistake was. I didn’t care because these things happen all the time). My friend said that I yelped because it hurt and I jolted and then made some “sarcastic” comment (like I always do to defuse a difficult or embarrassing situation because I’m Scottish, and we use humour in everything!) like “don’t make me kick you in the face” or words to that affect. I did not wish to accidentally kick her in the face if I jolted as her face was near my feet. Ann took that as the joke it was meant to be because we all laughed - including Ann. My friend is a witness to this.
Never in my entire life, have I ever uttered a threat to anyone. I can swear to this. I am well known in this community, my husband and I have fundraised for children with Autism for years and there are literally hundreds of people that can attest to my character.
Had I truly threatened Ann in the violent manner in which she describes, why didn’t she stand up shocked and walk away and report me to management? Why didn’t she burst into tears at such an awful and violent threat? Why didn’t she ask me for clarification at the time if she was at all confused by what I said?
Because it did not happen. Instead, she slyly chose to slip a poisoned letter with a gift card (I don’t even begin to understand that piece) and leave it for me without telling management in an underhand manner.
I truly don’t know why Ann has made up these cruel accusations. Perhaps she misinterpreted the incident due to cultural differences. Perhaps she resents me for being white? British? Having money? Whatever her reasons, she did not have the right to send a letter insulting me in that way and I find it absolutely disturbing.
Neither of my friends, nor I, shall ever return."
I stand by Ann and believe in maintaining a safe environment for my staff. However, I'm concerned about the potential repercussions, including the threat of a lawsuit.
I intend respond with:
"Thank you for your response. I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective on the incident.
I would like to address several points you raised and provide clarification.
Firstly, I want to reiterate that Ann has been a valued and trusted employee and similarly, Ann has worked with hundreds of clients over the years who can also attest to her character and credibility. Given her excellent reputation, we have zero cause to think that she would fabricate such an accusation that could potentially jeopardize her job. Ann gains no benefit from this.
Although you claim that "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face," was said in jest, and while I understand that cultural differences can sometimes lead to misinterpretations, you can see now it was inappropriate and understandably upsetting. Ann may not have cried nor reacted immediately as she needed time to process her emotions. This does not mean she was not uncomfortable or affected. The letter Ann wrote, while the tone was not professional, clearly shows she perceived it as a serious threat. We have addressed this with Ann, and she understands the best method for these situations is to go to management first.
Your mention that you have never threatened anyone is contradicted as you threatened to sue our salon when you came in on the _____ and this matter was first brought to my attention.
We appreciate your mention of race, cultural background, and economic status as it is extremely important to address. Our staff, including myself, come from diverse backgrounds as immigrants and have experienced various forms of discrimination. As minorities providing a service, we are deeply aware of the historical mistreatment and biases that still exist. Your response has been incredibly ignorant, condescending and dismissive.
Finally, I am sorry to hear that you and your friends will no longer be visiting our salon. However, if they share your views and attitude, we would prefer they keep away from our business. We stand firm in our commitment to protecting the well-being and dignity of our staff. We value all our clients, wherever they may come from, and strive to provide excellent service, but we will not tolerate bigotry and disrespect."
Will my response to the client be too harsh or is it justified?

They say living in New York City can be likened to drinking from a firehose - everything comes at you full force with no respite in sight. And boy, were they right! Overwhelmed between the never-ending stream of people, sights, and sounds, my attention felt like an unanchored boat amidst a stormy sea. That's when I understood - I needed a game plan to develop my attention.
My first step was to create a 'Mental Safe Zone'. Think of it as a sanctuary within your mind, where you consciously create an environment free from distractions. As a music enthusiast, I'd play Beethoven’s symphonies in the background, initiating a soothing vibe within my space that allowed me to concentrate.
Next up was practicing mindfulness, a habit I picked up from a friend who's a yoga instructor. The goal was to be fully present and engaged in the moment. My technique was simple enough - I’d take a steaming cup of coffee, feel its warmth seeping into my palms, smell the rich aroma, and focus on the sensation of each sip. Focusing on sensory experiences helped me stay grounded and attentive.
Eventually, I realized that my attention was a muscle that needed regular exercise. So, I started playing brain games. Think of it like a gym, but for your mind. Sudoku, crossword puzzles, memory games; they all helped me enhance my focus and attention span.
Lastly, I began to implement the 'Chunking Technique'. I'd break down complex tasks into manageable parts, making them less daunting. Instead of struggling to remember a 10-digit number, I'd chunk it into three smaller groups. This technique worked wonders for me - not only did it help me remember things better, but it also improved my overall concentration.
Fast forward to four months later, and I feel like I've finally harnessed the chaos of the city into a symphony, where each element plays its part, yet doesn't overwhelm me. It’s not perfect and I still have off-days, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day, right?
P.S. Okay, full disclosure here: this city girl is, in reality, a great fan of the quiet countryside. But hey, who doesn’t love a good New York story to illustrate the power of mental models and the steps to develop attention, right? Here’s to a mentally safer and more attentive 2021!

I'm not sure if this is really the right place but I've never posted on reddit before so apologies if I did a goof. I just wanted to share this with as many people as possible and you seem like the group who could help spread the word. I, after 20 years, have finally had a hacked email and boy has it sucked. On the upside I wanted to expose them as they have been using my email to send the exact same BLACKMAIL message to others. To the point my email got blocked for the max number of emails sent ..... Which I didn't even know you could do. Ultimately I hope that someone smarter than myself gets one of these emails and can hack them back and take their bitcoins lol.
This could just be an VPN and a fake name but they're info says their name is Mike and they have used it to open accounts on sites with email. A lot of the things i see is in German and some location sign in notifications are also in Germany. CA and NY also pop up. Also Chinese tinder??? So not sure if it's 1 multilingual person with a VPN or maybe a group?
Below I will share their template they have sent to everyone on earth it seems (including myself). Please note this has real people's emails and passwords in them which I assume are valid as the one I got had mine as well. I will not be sharing hacker victims info here though and will be deleting them from email as quickly as possible(there are hundreds of not thousands and my priority is to protect my info first). I've since recovered almost everything after a very long journey of tracking down everything they have got into from email. I am not sure if anything they say is true as I'm not tech savy with that kind of stuff (viruses and keystroke bs). I will say their video claim, at least for me, is complete bs. I can honestly say I have never visited a porn site on my computer. I know. Shocker. A person on the internet who doesn't view porn. Not my thing. I don't really feel like I'm invited and I'm not into watching others get it on. Like I'm either getting some or I ain't lol. And honestly the whole ploy is quite dumb because I rarely log into my email, so blackmailing me on an email I never really see seems kinda pointless. The only reason I saw it was because they used my email to change a social that forcefully locked me out. So I think I caught it all in time? Hopefully? Man I'm a good person and I try hard at life and this is just so unfair.
I do know scammers can disguise their email to look like yours as well when they send stuff but ultimately they did have my PW and started just resetting everything tied to that email and deactivating additional security measures on other sites. So best of luck people. These people suck so much ass I hope they die a thousand horrible deaths. Change your PWs and enable several 2fa tied to your phone and an authenticator app maybe even on multiple devices if possible.
Stay savy and safe people.
-Their email template-
Hi there! I am a professional hacker and have successfully managed to hack your operating system. Currently I have gained full access to your account. When I hacked into your VICTIM EMAIL, your password was: REALPASSWORD In addition, I was secretly monitoring all your activities and watching you for several months. The thing is your computer was infected with harmful spyware due to the fact that you had visited a website with porn content previously. ╭ ᑎ ╮ Let me explain to you what that entails. Thanks to Trojan viruses, I can gain complete access to your computer or any other device that you own. It means that I can see absolutely everything in your screen and switch on the camera as well as microphone at any point of time without your permission. In addition, I can also access and see your confidential information as well as your emails and chat messages. You may be wondering why your antivirus cannot detect my malicious software. Let me break it down for you: I am using harmful software that is driver-based, which refreshes its signatures on 4-hourly basis, hence your antivirus is unable to detect it presence. I have made a video compilation, which shows on the left side the scenes of you happily masturbating, while on the right side it demonstrates the video you were watching at that moment..(ᵔ-ᵔ) All I need is just to share this video to all email addresses and messenger contacts of people you are in communication with on your device or PC. Furthermore, I can also make public all your emails and chat history. I believe you would definitely want to avoid this from happening. Here is what you need to do - transfer the Bitcoin equivalent of $1200 USD to my Bitcoin account (that is rather a simple process, which you can check out online in case if you don't know how to do that). Below is my bitcoin account information (Bitcoin wallet): 1NfZ3ti46vrGAkNfCSJfQJVDt2oDxXMut7 Once the required amount is transferred to my account, I will proceed with deleting all those videos and disappear from your life once and for all. Kindly ensure you complete the abovementioned transfer within 50 hours (2 days +). I will receive a notification right after you open this email, hence the countdown will start. Trust me, I am very careful, calculative and never make mistakes. If I discover that you shared this message with others, I will straight away proceed with making your private videos public. Good luck!

Edit - adding other templates I've found that they have sent out

Dear VICTIM EMAIL,
I regret to inform you that there has been a security breach involving the devices you use for internet browsing.
Several months ago, unauthorized access was gained to these devices, allowing me to monitor your internet activity. Recently, I managed to hack your email accounts, including your password: REAL PASSWORD.
Furthermore, a Trojan virus has been installed on all devices you use to access email. This was made possible due to your clicking on links from emails in your mailbox, which facilitated my penetration into your systems. Through this malicious software, I gained access to various features of your devices, such as the microphone, video camera, and keyboard. Additionally, I extracted and stored your personal information, data, photos, and web browsing history on my servers. Moreover, I gained access to your messengers, social networks, email, chat history, and contact list.
To remain undetected, my virus continuously updates its signatures, making it invisible to antivirus software.
During my investigation, I discovered that you frequently visit adult websites and view explicit content. I managed to record your intimate moments and create a montage showcasing them. If you doubt the authenticity of my claims, I can easily share these videos with your friends, colleagues, and relatives, or even make them publicly accessible.
I am convinced that it is in your best interest to prevent the disclosure of this information, given the potential consequences. Therefore, I propose the following solution: transfer $500 USD to my Bitcoin wallet (details provided below), based on the exchange rate at the time of the transaction. After the transfer is completed, all compromising information will be immediately deleted. After this, I will deactivate and remove the malicious software from your devices.
You can be assured that I will uphold my end of the agreement.
Bitcoin wallet: bc1q47ejqqrsv6gwmgk7l8typ8r3zwqyrdmsrgv58p
You have 48 hours. As soon as you open this email, I will receive a notification, and from that moment on, the countdown begins.
If you've never dealt with cryptocurrencies before, it's quite simple. Just type "cryptocurrency exchange" into a search engine, and you're good to go.
Please refrain from the following actions:
Replying to this email, as it was created in your mailbox and contains the sender's address. Contacting the police or other security services. Discussing this situation with friends may lead to immediate public disclosure of the videos. Attempting to identify me. All cryptocurrency transactions are anonymous. Reinstalling the operating system or disposing of devices, as the videos are already stored on remote servers. You need not worry about the following:
Receiving your funds transfer. My malicious program continuously monitors your actions. Disseminating your videos after the funds transfer is completed. I have no intention of complicating your life further. Finally, I strongly advise you to avoid similar situations in the future. Regularly change all your passwords to enhance online security.
URGENT: Alert ATTENTION Victim EMAIl,
Your device has been compromised due to your recent activities. I have gained access to your system and have been monitoring your every move.
My malware is sophisticated and undetectable, allowing me to access your personal data, including sensitive information. Your privacy is now at stake.
I have gathered all your contacts, personal data, and logs from the past few months. Failure to comply with my demands will result in severe consequences.
Email: VICTIM EMAIL Password: REAL PASSWORD
You must act now to protect yourself. Failure to comply will lead to the public release of your private information.
Time is of the essence. Send $200 to my LTC address immediately: ltc1q08p40zj6jss3pqwysxyhc8fvltnxzn8amdspj9
You have 48 hours to complete the payment. I am aware that you are reading this message. Do not attempt to trace me, as it will be futile.
Do not share this message with anyone. Your cooperation is mandatory.
Failure to comply will have dire consequences. Act now to protect your privacy and reputation.

Do not reply to this email. Your response will not be received.

I HAVE RECORDED YOU! Hello there!
Unfortunately, there are some bad news for you.
Some time ago your device was infected with my private trojan, R.A.T (Remote Administration Tool), if you want to find out more about it simply use Google.
My trojan allowed me to access your files, accounts and your camera.
If you think this is some bad joke, no, Check the sender of this email, I have sent it from your email account.
To make sure you read this email, you will receive it multiple times.
You truly enjoy checking out porn websites and watching dirty videos, while having a lot of kinky fun.
I RECORDED YOU (through your camera) SATISFYING YOURSELF!
After that I removed my malware to not leave any traces.
If you still doubt my serious intentions, it only takes couple mouse clicks to share the video of you with your friends, relatives, all email contacts, on social networks, the darknet and to publish all your files.
All you need is $1450 USD in Bitcoin (BTC) transfer to my account.
After the transaction is successful, I will proceed to delete everything.
Be sure, I keep my promises.
You can easily buy Bitcoin (BTC) here: paxful.com , coingate.com , coinbase.com , or check for Bitcoin (BTC) ATM near you, or Google for other exchanger.
After that send the Bitcoin (BTC) directly to my wallet, or install the free software: Atomicwallet, or: Exodus wallet, then receive and send to mine.
My Bitcoin (BTC) address is: 16VXTpzdtv4847HCw6z5zsa59gfvcZm6EV
Yes, thats how the address looks like, copy and paste my address, its (cAsE-sEnSEtiVE).
You are given not more than 2 days after you have opened this email.
As I got access to this email account, I will know if this email has already been read.
Everything will be carried out based on fairness.
An advice from me, regularly change all your passwords to your accounts and update your device with newest security patches.

my brother has always been a “straight” boy to a T. he’s in a frat, plays hockey, wears bass pro shop etc etc etc. i went into my app store to change around some payments, and decided to click on “purchased” apps underneath our apple id. my whole family and i share this same apple id. once i clicked, there had been over 14 different gay & hookup apps. grindr of course was one, but there were a ton of random hookup apps as well, nothing that people had heard of like tinder or bumble. i did a ton of digging and found out he had paid for one app, and when i clicked on the receipt it was linked back to his iphone.
for starters i want to point out that i am in no way homophobic and am bisexual myself. im just absolutely in shock and don’t know how to move forward. should i bring it up to him, or just try to forget about it? he’s always been quiet and reserved and i worry about how hiding a secret like this can affect his mental health. it’s clear that he doesn’t want anyone knowing this, since he downloaded a bunch of niche apps in order to avoid possibly being noticed by someone he knows. his friends are the exact same frat boy vibes, and definitely the type to cut him off or do something worse to him.
i also want to bring it up because it would be even more embarrassing if one of my parents stumbled across the purchases, and i would want to make sure he is practicing safe sex.
mind my business or have a conversation??

What a glorious win yesterday. We watched the replay today and still soaring after how great a day it was. Finishing in second place before the bye feels so good!
So next week we’re on a Bye. And despite being in second, that doesn’t mean we’re entirely safe.
Where we sit right now, the only teams that we have to worry about to push us out of second are:

• Essendon
• Port
• Geelong
• Collingwood

This is actually good news. Essendon and Geelong are on a bye, so that means that if Port beats Giants, and Collingwood beats Norf (lol), the worst we can fall is 4th place, depending on percentage.
**As it stands now (before the end of the Collingwood/Melbourne game), if Geelong and Collingwood both get those extra four points next week, our percentage (109.8%) is higher than Geelong (108.9%) and Collingwood (104.6%).
Either way, what a great Bye week. I dunno about y’all, but I’m not worried at all.
I hope the boys have a good rest, they really deserve it, and that they’re ready to face Geelong for our rematch the week after.
Up the Baggers!!!

FLAGGERS2024 💪

Edit: I must’ve gotten distracted while writing this up the first time coz I put the percentage for Geelong when they’re on a Bye this week. Ooos.
Correction**
As it stands now, if Port and Collingwood both get those extra 4 points next week, our percentage (109.8%) is higher than Collingwood (108.0%) and lower than Port (111.7%).

For the first time in my life, nakatilaw na jud kog “teenage romance” or “first love”.
Just to have more context: padulong pami duha og SHS, at AFAM siya, ang pasabot ana kay lahiiii ra kaayo mi sa giunsa mi pagpadako sa among ginikanan. From what I know and see, his parents are very lenient on him whilst mine keep me on a tight, metaphorical leash regarding everything.
And that applies to having relationships. I have never had a relationship except with this boy. Wa sila kabalo na so far I have had two dates with him and just last night, we shared our first kiss; we have been talking since August but he asked if he could be officially mine and I, his, finally, this June. I was overjoyed, and he also understood I had strict parents so he was willing to hide and be hidden. The only we see eachother now since we left school is if I fake hanging out with my friends.
I do not have a history of dating people. Or crushing on them. I also do not have a history of lying to my parents, because I trust them and they trust me even if I am hard to take care of, BUT this relationship I must keep a secret or they'll take away. The only way I can keep it is if I prove myself able to care for myself financially, as in, get a stable job. And I plan to, but I just wanted to get this off my chest, how strict parents can just ruin a teenage experience. You are hidden from everything in the world and it sucks. You're only a teenager once! I want to experience everything the others do :( (safely and in moderation)
Na lito ra kaayo ko. Sobrang igat ng mama at papa ko katong batan-on pa sa ilang panahon. My father boasts about how many lovers he's hand and what not. But when it comes to me, I'm not allowed to have even a crush? And if I do want to have one, I should get a salary first and THEN only MAYBE, like a one percent chance, they'll consider allowing me? Fuck, makalagot!

Throwaway because ya i dont want my main to have this shitshow on it.
When i was 16 my family taped me to become my grandfather's caretaker on the weekends and over the summer. I didn't have a car or job at that time so I went with it. I took care of my grandfather until the last 2 weeks of his life where my mother and her brothers stayed with him and a hospice nurse. His passing negatively affected me.
By then i had a cheap $500 car my grandparents helped me get and my grandmother made me pay her back every cent of it. Granted it was interest free but eh. Anyway my uncle took grandma up with him for 6 months and everyone again decided I would live with her until something changed. Well grandma was a drunk and had dementia.
My 19 year old ass had to baby sit her every second I wasn't in school or work. They even wanted me to move her to the Northeast to be closer to family up there. Thankfully she had a massive breakdown that night and while her and my mother fought I finally lost it on both of them. After that my family decided to move grandma into my parents home and build me a room in our garage. It wasn't the worst idea but inadequate ventilation in a florida garage not the best of plans.
But at that point i met and started dating my now wife. After a few months I moved in with her and her father. See my wife is disabled and I was her most the time careguver except when working obviously. Now her dad did want me to pay rent which i did. Granted we are talking almost 25 years ago so it was something like 200-300 a month. Again no major issue with that. But what got annoying was he always found something to get on me about. Nothing serious just things like, i should dust the house 3x a week, vacuum the rug every week, wash dishes everynight regardless of if i was the cook or even ate their that night. Kinda normal chores shit. It did grind me that i felt like i was being used as his personal maid for the house on top of working 50-60 hours a week and taking care of his daughter everyday. But again i live here i can chip in as well.
Well it got way worse over the years because we couldnt afford to move out due to her being disabled and the house we live in was mostly designed with her in mind. Any place we would have to rent we would need accomodations for her and even possible renovations so she could shower, have a lift to assist her into bed and bars so use the restroom by herself. Needless to say there are not many places like that and even less landlords willing to allow us to renovate ourselves. So we delt with him. It was clear to me he had dementia but my wife and her brother wouldnt hear of me talking about it.
Well it got so bad for him i ended up being his caretaker as well. After a few years and fights with doctors he was finally diagnosed as having alcoholic dementia. And he got to the point it wasnt safe to live with him as he got violent and attacked me everynight and when he threatened the kids (yes we have kids) my wife finally said ok we need to go somewhere else. I tried to see if we could spend some time at my parents house but my sister suddenly found herself homeless with her two kids. So we moved to south FL for a few months waiting on her brother to help us.
Now her brother finally took over helping and worked for 4 months to get him help and it ended up with him in a home due to his violent tendencies and his lost grasp of reality. We were able to return to our house (he father left it to her specifically because she was disabled and it was built new specifically to help her) and my father got very sick. We tried to make up for a summer of not being there but in the end my father passed right before christmas. That was a really hard day. Somehow I managed to keep it together and helped in the planning of my fathers funeral. In the end almost none of my ideas or photos got used. The next year due to issues with my wifes caregiver I ended up losing a job. Getting a new one only to get injured and be out of work for 9 months. Then once i finally healed up from injuries and heartache covid happened.
A year later her father passed. After all the covid crap finally cleared up Im now my wifes full time caregiver. We have zero help from most our familes. Her mom who is bipolar decided to sell her house in south florida and moved in with us. She doesnt really do anything and when she does its some batshit idea she came up with. If we shoot it down she will sulk in her room for several days then come out interact with us like a normal person and suddenly come up with a batshit idea the next day.
Sorry this is going on so long i just needed to vent. Im not sure exactly why today is my day to let this loose but almost 30 years of holding it in isn't working anymore so i needed to just say it.
My family has used me as a errand boy for most my life. Need something fixed no problem tired will do it. Need a ride? Again he's got no plans get him. Oh your homeless and want to move into a 3/2 house with a family of 5 already in it? More the merrier i guess. Oh something didnt work out exaclty as planned well unload on him cause fuck him right?
Honestly i never minded being a caregiver. In some ways it makes my life more fufilled because Im helping and I like to be the helper. But god damn sometime people that advantage of that then shit on me when things go wrong. Im not a damnit doll. Im a fucking human being. I know over the years I haven't accomplished much but god damn its hard to try to for example go to school for a degree when you cant get a second of freetime to study or work and when it eventually fails im laughed at and belittled for not trying harder. Hell the firrt time i went to college before my wife was even in the picture my family decided they where not going to pay for it because I failed a english class. A subject ive struggled in my entire life. Hell i even tried to access the schools resources for people like myself that have learning disabilities but they even with 8 years of previous documented learning disabilities decided nah your good. Also never mind for the first time im my life i got As in every other class I took. Nope a single F and i wasnt trying. As i wasnt trying they wouldnt help. Oh student loans you ask? Didnt qualify because drum roll my parents made too much i was too young and they need to help. Pay for yourself you say? Didnt have 2500 every 3 months to register. Or a few years later and no longer living with my family. I got loans but after 2 years of school i was still 6 months behind to graduate (mostly math and english two classes i have learning disabilities it) and mt school recommended i take a semester off to get myself rested and ready to finish. Well the school got shut down before i could go back and as it wasnt a real college (itt-tech scam) i couldnt transfer my credits. Now i owe a crap load of money and no degree to use to improve my employment status. Tried again a decade later and well father in law madenit impossible to study or do work so guess how that turned out.
Honestly im just tired. Tired of being looked down on by our familes because im the loser who couldnt finish school (verbatim spoken by a family member). Im the guy that when they really needed me turned them down because i just couldnt for whatever reason. Well thats enough to cut contact with me for 2 months.
Now i dont want people to think my family or my wifes family are all compelte assholes. They aren't, for example my parents payed off a car loan I had. Mostly because my other grandmother passed and they got an inheritance so they did something for me. However same time my sister who had a job paying more then my father made at the time. Lived with them rent free and didnt contribute to any house hold bills including food. And as she had 2 young kids at the time that was alot.
My wife and I early into our marriage got into a very bad place. We ended up separating for 2 months which i lived with my parents. At that time my sister and her babydaddy lived there as well. I payed my dad 400 a month in rent and gave him enough extra to cover 2-3 of the utilites as well.. when i moved back I got roasted because i only covered the power bill for the next month and didnt give my parents more. Guess who roasted me for this? Hint it wasnt my parents.
God this got really long. Kinda feels like ive unloaded on a therapist again. Havent had that ability in over a decade. Anyway ill stop ranting here. I dont really want people to comment. In the end of the day Ive got the family I created. Ive got a house and I am doing ok. I just needed to write this out just because because. Please dont think im looking for something here. I am not injust needed to unload nothing more.
Thanks if you managed to get all the way down here. This honestly started as a reply to another post. When i saw it was going into adhd rant land i decided to post it by itself. So i end this here and say be excellent to one another.

Orginal Story by C.K. Walker
*Written By Ayden M.N. and u/Memisworld_23 *
SPOILERS FOR BORRASCA V
...
One hundred thirty two. That is the amount of people that were rescued that day on the mountain. I would be lying if I said it didn’t take me by surprise to hear the news about the stables let alone the number of people that were there. It makes me think back to when I was a kid and all the strange and tragic things that happened to me then. It's funny how time changes, how everything wilts away. How life goes on without a wait or stop. Sometimes you'll forget what lurked underneath, and when you do remember, it's already too late. I couldn't say my childhood wasn't bad but it's basically not as cheery as most kids have it.
My father was definitely sucked into his job as a lawyer, while my mom was bustling her back at an old diner, drinking her sorrows away. None had any time to spare for me, as a child. It made me a pretty independent child, and when my mother decided to give birth to Lucy, I became that mother figure that I never had. Aside from Lucy, I had nobody else to talk to. School in Drisking was okay, but I would be lying if I said it was a good experience. I was pretty much alone from childhood to teens. Most kids already had their own friends, their designated trio. I would always refer to it that way. It was by sheer luck that I really did find a friend. Someone who I could share my emo playlist alongside with and in return she taught me a lot about DnD.
However like if the world knew I was meant to be alone, she was taken away from me. I never knew what happened to her, but I beat myself about. If only I didn't moved from Drisking, maybe I could had found her sooner.
The one thing that has remained consistent is my ritualistic daily breakfasts at the diner. From the start of my freshmen year, I never missed a day of going to the diner. It was my way of getting my head together and preparing for the day ahead. Even into my adulthood, I never stopped going. Imagine my surprise when I saw a face that I’d honestly thought I would never see again. It didn’t click at first. I just felt like I knew it.
She was about 5’8” with asymmetrical short dirty blond hair. Her clothes were mainly black and I can just see something protruding from her around her waist. She had a plain black shirt tucked into her pants with a well-kept belt. She wore a Nobel 6 zip up jacket -Clearly a Halo fan- and a small d20 pin on it. Where this seems normal to the untrained eye, I can’t help but feel deja vu from looking at this woman. She seemed like this distant dream that is so fuzzy that it’s just familiar enough to almost recognize.
She walked into the diner and was given a table next to mine. I racked my brain trying to figure out who this was. I examined every part of her, again, and again, and again, just trying to make sense of who was sitting right there in front of me. She was so close, yet she was so distant from me.
“May I help you?” She sighs, putting her coffee down on the table in a way that I can only describe as a contained irritation. “Or are you just going to stare at me like I’m an exhibit?”
I wasn’t even conscious I was staring. She turns to me and it all clicks together. The d20, the jacket, and, my new discovery, looking at her closer and can see her, the freckle on her upper lip.
“Kat? Is that really you?” Stunned, I blurted out. I was adamant that that familiar woman had to be her. No one had that exact same freckle like her.
“That depends on who is asking.” She rolls her eyes taking another sip of her coffee.
She doesn’t recognize me? It makes since she didn’t. It’s been so long. Looking down at my empty plate, as I really wanted her to recognize me. Should I introduce myself? I thought, maybe I'll make her remember me.
“So you don't know me? I can give a hint, I'm sure it might give you an idea on who I am.” I nervously laughed, as I dug into my black leather purse.
Quickly, I pulled it out, plopping down a custom made d20 dice on the table. I remember painting my own dice black, since I was super obsessed with the color black as a teen.
“Wait,” Kat puts down her coffee again, this time with more of a clang. “What is that? Where did you get this?”
Placing the dice right next to my plate, I felt my throat lumping already.
“Remember on my 16th birthday, when it was only you and me. I remember we almost burned the house down because we had the dumb idea to bake a cake.”
“Pauly…?” A slow recognition comes across Kat’s face. Replaced soon by unadulterated joy. “Well, I’ll be damned!”
Tears started to well up my eyes, I was so ecstatic to finally see her eyes flashed with recognition. I slowly got up to my chair, every step I took felt like I was stepping in a pile of needles. Getting a great look on Kat, she looked different from the nerdy shy girl I knew. But, I didn’t care how different Kat looked, I was happy to see my old friend alive.
“I just don't know what to say. I thought I've lost you.” I whispered, my voice already trembling as I spoke.
“Oh,” Kat's voice cracks a bit too, pulling me into a hug. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Kat seemed to be holding back tears. Just being with her now, I couldn’t even wrap my head around it. It seems so surreal. Even when I hugged her, it felt like it was a fabricated dream. But it wasn't, this was all flesh and blood.
“Just…how are you…I'm so sorry that I never found you. Everyone, even the cops told me that you were long gone. I had hoped you'd come back. Just didn't know it would take this long.” Wiping my tears with my sleeve, I hugged even tighter. She was much taller than me, so I couldn't really comprehend it.
“Hey, hey.” Kat chuckles a bit. Still holding back tears, I could tell. “It’s okay. You…There was no way you could have known. I have a lot of explaining to do, I’m sure but let’s forget about that for now.”
“Yeah…I'm just so happy to see you again.” I sat across from Kat's seat, picking up a napkin to wipe the rest of my tears. It rubbed off some of my mascara, making me think it was a horrible idea to try out some make up today. “So, um…what have you been doing over these years? I see you got a gun holster over there?”
“Well, I…” Kat cut herself off. “I was a SWAT operative. It’s, uh, a long story. How about you?”
“SWAT? No wonder you look so tough and badass!” I then continued enthusiastically. “Well, I'm actually a nurse practitioner. I'm very specialized in prenatal care. I know it's funny because I really didn't like babies back then.”
“Oh? That’s…nice.” Kat’s voice shudders. “And I wouldn’t call myself a badass for being SWAT. It…makes you question a lot of things about yourself for sure. It’s all in the interest of others though.”
My smile slowly fell, as I was scared if I might've made her upset. “I see, I understand. We both are doing jobs that help people, and probably had to endure some bad cases once in a while.”
“Did…did you ever find Kincade?”
Kincade. I haven't heard of that name since after moving Drisking.
I took a deep breath, as I responded. “I did manage to find Kincade after your disappearance. They never told me what happened, and I lost contact ever since. Last time I checked, Kincade moved to California.”
“Oh, thank god.” Kat sighs out of relief, as she takes a seat back down. “Knowing that girl, she’s living it up in LA. Well, I was actually in New York all this time. I thought it would be a good place to settle down. For what it was worth, the NYPD was good to me.”
“Oh I can tell she is. I followed her Instagram, and she's always posting pictures of parties and such.” I tucked a strand of hair in the back of my ear, while I pulled out my phone to show Kat Kincade’s page. “Even if they don't want to talk to me, I'm just super glad they're okay.”
I sometimes wonder why Kincade hasn't had contact with me yet, but deep inside I felt like they were somewhat upset with me. The strange thing was that once Kincade showed up, my mother just randomly disappeared. My father had always told me that she's just had it with us, and left to do her own life. However I never believed that story. Sure my mom was a raging drunk chain-smoker, but she always loved Lucy and I. Her just leaving out of the blue isn't in character, and I just know that something wrong might have occurred.
Kat inspects the page. I can tell it struck something in her. I knew from this point she was holding back a bit with her emotions but for some reason, this broke her. Suddenly I saw my childhood best friend break into a waterfall of sadness. She started to sob. As if she had a dam behind her eyes and they just burst.
“Kat.. Oh shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I rushed towards Kat’s side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
It broke me to see Kat this way, yet I couldn’t help but wonder what made her let out her tears. My eyes suddenly landed at one of Kat’s wrist, a light brown scar was marred on her skin. It was half covered by her sleeve, its appearance was more like a stab wound than a slash. I could tell Kat noticed me staring at it, as she quickly covered it up. The sky was now in a vibrant orange and magenta hue, while the bright sun started to slowly settle down.
Kat finally regained her composure after a few minutes of apologizing profusely.
“I know.” Kat weakly pushes out from her lips through her tears. “I know you see them. I know I have a lot of explaining to do. I got that…from a mission that I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear.”
Leaning against her shoulder, I looked up at Kat with an understanding expression. “I think I’m ready to hear about this. Over these years, I wanted to know what happened in Drisking. I don’t want to stay ignorant anymore.”
“Let’s…” Kat wipes her eyes, only for more tears to take the others place. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private.”
∆∆∆
“As you enter into the Church of the Overthrown Gods.” Kat dramatically pauses. “You feel as if multiple eyes are watching you. As you look closer to the rotting wood altar, you see a tiny eye just peeking out…and then another…and then another…and then another… as they rise up from the altar you see they are on tendeles attached to a large spherical mass. You see 10 tenderals rise all with snake-like eyes darting around the room before meeting yours. As the large mass comes into view you see one large eye on it staring at you and an unnerving smile as it laughs intimidatingly at you. As you realize what is staring back at you is…a beholder…and that’s where we will leave off tonight’s session!”
Several protests fill the room. It wasn’t out of character for Kat to leave off on a cliffhanger, but this is what we have been waiting for since the end of 2008. And even a year later, Kat always leaves the carrot dangling over our heads.
“Hey,” Kat shrugs “I gotta keep you hooked or else our three month streak of all of you attending won’t keep going.”
“Oh, fuck you, Kat!” Kami rolls her eyes lightheartedly “We come back every week regardless.”
“Yeah, but it's more fun torturing you.” Kat giggled while combing through her long hair with her fingers.
Shaking my head, I took a sip on my already luke-warm Snapple, “Typical Kat. Why do you always gotta tease us like that? I was literally witnessing my character finally healing from a poison arrow and just to end at that. I totally can't wait till the next!”
“Thank you,” Kat nods before getting up and starting to pack up and the group follows suit. “I cannot wait for next session. It’s a big battle so I recommend you all start doing some research on Beholders to be ready, because this monster is really tough. Remember, we are starting the next session at level 12, and I’ll see you all soon!”
After about 10 minutes, the rest of the group left except for me. I like staying after sessions with Kat. I don’t understand why the other two people in the group don’t stay. It’s not even 9pm by the time we finished and they are already out the door.
It’s sophomore skip day tomorrow and I sure as hell know everyone will be participating so what’s the rush? Well, everyone except for Kat. From all the time I’ve known Kat up until this point, she never skipped a day or cut any corners when it came to her education. It was admirable but also frustrating. I cannot tell you how many plans I had to cancel because she wanted to study. I never understood why she was so serious about it. It’s like her life depended on her making good grades and being a shining student. I have to admit, I am jealous of her dedication to it.
I would typically leave her to her own devices when it came to school but just by looking at her, she looked like she deserved a break. With the exams and the constant verbal battles between her mother and her father, I can tell just by looking at her, the pressure is on her. I could say the same for my home situation, but I'm already used to it, that it is practically normal for me. Kat, on the other hand, really deserved a break, just this one time.
While I was playing with one of the d20 dice, gathering up courage, I asked, “Hey Kat? Whatcha going do tomorrow?”
“Oh, um.” Kat says not looking up from her notebook, making some notes for the next session. “Just going to school, I should be able to go to take our usual walks tomorrow after.”
A smile crept on my lips, as I definitely predicted Kat's answers. Sure, I did hear that the Sheriff in town was going to give tickets to those that didn't go to school, but I didn't really care about that. I just wanted to have a chill day with my friends. After all, I busted my ass to at least have passable grades.
“Hmm. Hey Kat, why don't we…you know,” I nudged her with my elbow. “Skip school tomorrow?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Kat sighs.
“I know, I know. But I just feel like these days have been for us but we just have fun tomorrow.” I could tell that I was losing Kat already, her mind dead set on going to school. I tucked a strand on my blue hair behind my ear, as I followed Kat. “Kat, please. Sometimes I worry about you because you're working yourself out. Just this once, and I'll promise I'll try to raise my Geometry class to a B!”
“I suppose…” Kat thinks for a second. “It wouldn’t hurt to skip one day.”
“Hell yeah!” I tackled Kat, as I tried to spin her around in happiness. “I promise that you'll have the best day. That jackass Sheriff won't ruin our day. I'll make sure of it!”
“Alright! Alright!” Kat giggles “Fine. Just calm down.”
I feel a sense of relief coming from Kat like I somehow unlocked one shackle that she bore on her ankles. There’s still plenty, and this one is certainly not the heaviest but the littlest weight off of her is enough for her to appreciate.
I let her go as I dashed towards my Jack Skeleton backpack, fetching out my half torn notepad. “ I scribbled some of the plans I have for tomorrow. I was thinking we could dine on Prescott Artisan Sandwiches, and then maybe hike the trail over west of Crystal Lake. What do you think?”
“Yeah!” Kat exclaims. “I heard there’s going to be a few people there tomorrow. Probably could use the social interaction, or attempt to at least.”
“We'll have the lake to ourselves,” I chuckled, placing my notepad back to my back. I really did need a new notepad, however I remember my family was very tight on money at the time. “Oh I almost forgot that Kincade might be joining us too.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kat smiles. “Honestly, that girl needs to be a bit more interactive if you ask me.” Kat chuckles. “As if I’m one to talk.”
“That's why I invited her too. I feel like you girls could get along.” I then jokingly added, “Maybe you can indoctrinate her into playing DnD with us, eh?”
“I’m sure I can.” Kat giggles. “Alright, so are you staying the night tonight? I think I can take the car tomorrow so you can stay if you like.”
“I'll stay, but I should pick up Lucy. My mom said she left her by the Landys,” I rubbed my neck in frustration as I continued. “I hate how my mom just randomly abandons Lucy to strangers. Does she know there's creeps?”
My mother always had done this multiple times, even when I was Lucy's age. A seven year old like Lucy shouldn't be in conditions like this, and I knew damn well that my father won't be available till 7AM. I thought about maybe walking up to the Landys house, maybe it was like 3 blocks or so.
“I think I'll walk to get Lucy. You wouldn't mind my little sis joining in our sleepover, right?”
“I mean, I don't have a big problem with it. Honestly, prefer it to just be you and me but I won’t be kicking and screaming if she is here.”
“That's true,” I nervously laughed, “Either way, Lucy is pretty much a sweet kid, and she will probably be distracted playing with her ballet Barbie dolls.”
Peeping through the windows, the sky was pitch black, almost like a void swallowing the whole town. I took a deep breath, before heading out of the door. Before stepping a foot outside of the wooden porch, I called out. “I'll be back, Kat. If I don't come back, the Skinned Men might’ve caught me!”
“Oh, don’t say that!” Kat calls at me as I walk away. She didn’t seem offended more lighthearted but there was a little seriousness there.
Kat always believed in the supernatural. While all of us grew up and just accepted it was just an urban legend that wasn’t real, Kat believed it. Kat even dedicated an entire essay on the history of the Skinned Man, and where the legend originated from. Needless to say, there wasn’t much to go off of and because Kat is very committed to things, she decided to embellish the details a bit and even I knew that a lot of that stuff was all pulled out of thin air and had no actual weight to it. They were just urban legends that little kids would scare others with. Along those tales were the Triple Tree.
Everyone would carve their names in the Triple Tree, serving like a talisman to these Skinned Men. If you didn’t, then I guess you were fucked. I never really carved my name, for some damn reason, my dad never let me. The moon shined brightly, casting light to these liminal streets. I was already used to walking at night, but for some odd reason, something was off. Crossing the right side of the neighborhood, I caught some headlights shining through the bushes. It looked like it belonged to an old police cruiser, and that alone made me start running. I was not a fan of the officers here, plus I was definitely violating a curfew.
“C’mon, Pauly,” I uttered under my breath, jumping through some fences.
I landed on the backside of the Landy’s house, my knees landing on top of the pavement. Hissing in pain, I slowly wobbled towards the front side of the house. It was stupid of me to think that I would magically land on my feet, but then again I had the shitiest luck. Quickly, I knocked on the door three times, after the fourth knock, the white adorned door swung open. In front of me was a cinnamon brown haired 14 year old boy, who had that bored expression that every teenager had. I recognized that boy as Parker Landy, the youngest of the Landy family.
“Uh, can I help you?” Parker wrinkled his nose, while he adjusted his glasses.
I furrowed my brows, “I’m here for my sister. For Lucy.”
“Oh, okay. Um, I guess you can come in.”
Parker reluctantly ushered me inside, as I wasted no time to search for Lucy. There, located in the dinning, Lucy was drawing while Mrs. Landy was brushing her dark little locks of hair. She was wearing a baby pink ballet uniform, the one that my dad bought her for her birthday. Ecstatic, Lucy jumped up from the chair and darted to my direction. We bid farewell to Mrs. Landy, heading out into the night. However, I caught a glimpse of her face morphing into a sorrowful look. ‘She must have been worried for us,’ I thought, mainly because it was just two girls heading out, embracing the unforgiving night.
“Pauly, where’s mommy?” Lucy’s wide eyes looked at me, grabbing my hand ever so tightly.
I sighed, thinking how to word out an appropriate response, “She’s just working a lot in the diner. So we can afford your ballet classes,” I had lied, flashing an assurring smile. I didn’t want Lucy to know the truth, she was an innocent kid after all.
Crossing up that same street again, I could sense that we were almost close to safety. Or so I thought. A slow rumbling sound of an engine followed behind. It was pitch dark outside, so I couldn’t really tell what color the vehicle was, but I did recognize it. What my eyes could grapple from what little information it had at the time, it was just that damn old police cruiser. Just as I was about to run with Lucy, the dark tinted windows rolled down, revealing an old familiar face.
“Ah little Miss Rhoades. What brings you here past curfew, hmm?” Ex Sheriff Clery asked, while flashing a very wide smile. I remember him being the Sheriff since the 1950s, not before being replaced by Robocop Walker.
Lucy bounced up and down, as she exclaimed “Me and Pauly are going home! Mommy and Daddy are still at work!”
Clery’s gaze looked back at me, his grin growing ever so slightly larger. “Oh really? It’s quite dark out here, you girls might need a lift.”
“No thank-” “Yes please!” Lucy quickly cut me off as she threw the car door open.
She quickly slithered herself in the backseat, while I was too stunned to comprehend. It left me no choice but to take this impromptu ride. Trembling, I sat next to Lucy, shutting the car door behind me. A loud click followed, as both doors were locked.
The whole ride I was scared shitless. I didn’t know why, but I guess I scared myself alot reading Missing Persons cases. I mean, I just entered a car with a person I barely knew. Yes, I know he’s a cop and his entire job is to keep us safe, but I couldn’t help but feel this sense of unease creeping into my conscious mind. It might be from the hundreds of “Stranger Danger” PSAs I’ve been fed all my young life. Lucy probably noticed how tense I looked, latching herself onto my arm.
“It's okay Pauly, the Skinned Men won't catch us anymore. We're safe here!” Lucy nuzzled on my arm, clearly obvious about the situation.
Sheriff Clery let out a chuckle, adding on “Little Lucy's right. No need to worry about those monsters when you're the old sheriff, eh?”
I nervously laughed along, just wishing that we’ll be at our destination already. That just put me even more on edge. I decided to dare a glance at the interior back mirror and I saw a pair of eyes seemingly staring at me and my sister with a look that just sent a chill down my spine. I tried to rationalize that maybe I’m just imagining things but the way he was staring at us was undeniably unsettling.
It was not after a minute later we arrived. The whole minute felt like hours, rightfully so I bolted out of the cruiser with Lucy in my arms. Before reaching the front door, the older man called out, “Be careful next time. You won’t know what’s lurking around these parts.”
After that the police cruiser drove off into the dark void of the unknown. That sentence alone carried an unsettling meaning, yet I could never pinpoint why. Objectively, it was quite normal. It was just a man showing a kind gesture but my gut was screaming not to trust this person. I tried to just brush it off as a misunderstanding but it was so strange I couldn’t.
∆∆∆
“So,” Kat began. “The place still has Prescott’s name written all over the place even after everything that happened?”
“I believe so,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I really hope it’ll be over now. Sometimes, I wished I could live on with life. Like nothing happened, you know?”
The melody of the forest sung around us as we took in the fresh day’s air and the warm embrace of the midsummer’s sun. We’ve walked through this forest hundreds of times before but it’s like discovering uncharted territories every time we step foot in it. It feels different now. It seems bleaker than it was when we were children. Maybe it’s just an optical illusion or that every memory of my childhood feels like a dream.
“God,” Kat scoffs. “I’d scrub that name off the earth if I could.”
“I have to admit, everytime I see that name, something bad always happens. It's almost as if it was cursed.” My gaze shifted back to the abundance of trees, each of them being so eerily identical. “Thomas Prescott really did sell his soul, and everyone had to pay the price.”
“Don’t remind me.” Kat almost growls like a wolf to a degree that caught me off guard.
Shit, I definitely struck a nerve there. Why? Why did that set her off the way it did? I tried to change the subject into something else. I really didn’t want to upset Kat any further, I felt guilty just by saying that.
“It’s so silent here, I don’t know if I should be on edge or relaxed.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
Kat’s eyes dart around before she runs her fingers through her hair with a sigh. It didn’t occur to me until just now that she had been watching everywhere and everything all at once. Every little movement her eyes locked onto. Could be just a natural reaction. I’m sure her line of work requires her to be hyper-vigilant so maybe it carries into her normal day-to-day life.
“You don’t need to apologize, Kat. I was the one who was pushing too much.” The wind blew softly, remnants of leaves danced in the air. It reminded alot about how life is, always pushing you in unpredictable directions. “I was thinking after this, maybe we should help each other out. My therapist gave me the advice that some wounds can’t heal by themself.”
“I can help you. I don’t really need help myself. When I was on the field, I was given state mandated therapy. It was important to do so to not go actually insane from all the messed up things we see. Trust me, there’s a reason why a lot of us quit after a few years of service.”
“ I see,” I gave Kat a crooked smile, “You're resilient, that's what I admired about you.”
Even after all those years, Kat still had those strong traits of being smart and strong. I could help but feel proud of her, and I wished her the best. I got closer to Kat, as I leaned on one of the oak trees nearby.
With a playful tone, I asked. “So when are you gonna show me how to use one of those?” I pointed at her gun.
“You?” Kat laughs. “I thought you hated loud noises?”
I shrugged, raising one of my brows. “Still do. It's just in case anything goes south. Or maybe I wanna impress somebody.”
“I’ll teach you soon. No doubt about that. I don’t have any ear protection on me and this beauty can get pretty loud.”
As we took in the forest’s lush surroundings, I noticed something that I haven’t seen before despite being out here for god knows how many times. There was a perfectly healthy tree in front of us but it seemed as if the bark had been ripped and torn definitely unnaturally; it had to have been done by someone, not an animal.
Kat and I exchange confused looks as we walk closer to the tree. Then, it all came together. I didn’t want to think that someone would have done this again. Not after the original was burnt to the ground a long time back. On the tree there were signatures. It sent an ungodly chill through my whole body. I looked over to Kat to see her reaction and she looked like she was frozen in time. With a look of shock and fear instilled upon her very body.
“It can't be. There's a new one here, but how?” My mouth was agape as I reached to touch the bark of the tree. My fingers grazed against each little individual signature. Each of them being unique, much like their owners’ names.
I look back at Kat. I realized I was mistaken, or perhaps it just shifted. Her look, it wasn't out of fear, no, it was out of resentment and hate and a boiling rage that I could tell is about to spill through. I know that even if I were to manage to say anything in this situation, I couldn’t prevent it from all coming out. What could I say? This isn’t anything I’ve seen from Kat. She always had a way to relieve her own anger but this was an anger that even the cool-minded Kat could not keep under control. Like a wildfire that had found a negligent camper’s gasoline can.
“Kat–”
“They think they can control me even in death but they can’t.” Kat whispers to herself quickly. I barely had time to process before the wildfire finally found the gas. “THEY FUCKING CAN’T!”
Kat lifts her shirt slightly, revealing her concealed gun. A Pit Viper. She draws it at a speed I barely had time to comprehend as she switches off the safety and takes a stance.
“Wait! Kat!”
That was all I could get out before I was overtaken by an ear splitting explosion. I barely had time to register the second one before the third went off. It was the same for the fourth and the fifth. My ears rang the loudest they have ever in my life as the pain in my ears set in and the agony of my head throbbing so hard that I thought my brain would burst from it alone. The sounds echoed through the forest. All the birds and the bugs and creatures stopped in unison as if Kat slain them herself.
And then.
Silence.

(might post this to other subs)
Yesterday, my parents found out that I changed my name and wanted to become a girl. They sat down with me and launched into a huge lecture about how LGBTQ+ people are all delusional, that I only think this because I have "too much time to think", that being LGBTQ+ was going to lead me down a path that ends with drug abuse and AIDS, and that all of my current problems and anxiety were because I strayed from religion. Not only are they forcing me to act like a boy and become religious, they are also not allowing me to pursue my major of choice at a college that I have already applied for (I was in their honors program too) because they are "worried about the friends I'll make".
There is no possibility of me talking them out of this (they are firmly religious, they wouldn't consider anything that isn't ordained by God). It feels like my life is ending, like the parts of me that could feel joy before were ground to dust. It feels like my parents will figuratively kill me with their self-proclaimed "righteousness". I just want to escape, to find a place where I can be safe from them and become the person I wish I could be. I just need help.
Edit: I provide more details about my situation in another post, but I'm not sure if I can put a link because of Rule 11. Just look through my post history if you need the additional info.

We just got a Thule Chariot Cross. Went out for a couple bike rides and WE love it. My 13 month old - meh.
I've read a few posts on "to helmet or not to helmet" and our preference is to helmet. His first issue: His helmet keeps getting pushed forward, covering his eyes. He's a pacifist, so, instead of tearing it apart and crying, he just goes to sleep. We did go out sans helmet during our second ride and he was much happier and engaged. I read a few posts on "to helmet or not to helmet" and our preference is to helmet.
Second issue: The trailer is very spacious for my 1 percenter. He keeps slumping to one side. I've read a few posts recommending strapping in a car seat or DIYing a supporter or purchasing a supporter. I'm eyeing the Thule baby supporter - but the reviews on Amazon are not complimentary.
I'm spiraling down a Reddit rabbit hole and would appreciate any advice (that's not from 8 years ago!) to make his riding experience safe and awesome. We want our little boy to love cycling as much as we do! FYI, our boy is able to walk with support, and has good neck control. TIA!

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