Cut in nose that won t heal

My ex husband (32M) and I (25F) started dating in December of 2015 when I was 17 and he was 23. I know that looks bad with the age difference but we had met on Xbox and lived states apart so with my mom’s approval we started a long distance relationship. We got married a year later a few days after my 18th birthday then moved to Washington state with him where he was living with his dad. I had no family or friends in the area so I became very dependent on my husband which is not a good thing for me especially with being so young. Things were great between my husband and I during the first year of marriage but then he started drinking after getting off probation for a DUI he got a few years before we met. I had never seen him drunk during our relationship since he was on probation and getting drug tested every other day.
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ My husband became violent after drinking so much, he would blackout and abuse me. One time I was able to leave the home and run to a nearby gas station and call the police because I thought he might harm our 2 dogs after punching me in the stomach. He was arrested and bailed out the next day. It was May 6th 2018 when he got blacked out drunk and attempted to take his life in his sisters house. He knew I was planning to leave him at the time and was looking for a flight back home when I got the call from his sister that he was rushed to the hospital. I dropped everything and stayed by his side while he was recovering, he apologized for everything he had done to me and because I was so dependent on him and so in love despite the abuse he put me through, I forgave him. He was sober for awhile but went right back to drinking once he was fully recovered. In June of 2019 I left Washington for a few months to stay with my family back home since it had been almost 3 years the last time I saw them. My husband stayed in Washington and all I could think was this will be good for us. When I went back to Washington in December of 2019 things were not the same at all. He was cheating on me the whole time with a co worker of his. She knew about me and still pursued a relationship with him. I fought so hard to fix my marriage, I stayed through all the abuse and cheating because I was too in love with him to let him go. Unfortunately he was still drinking, abusing me, and cheating.
In June of 2020 I finally convinced myself it was time to leave him for good and my best friend drove 16 hours to pick me up. I had everything I owned in trash bags and got the hell out of there. As time went on I met my now fiancé (28M) and we have been together for almost 4 years now. In the beginning of 2023 I filed for divorce from my ex and our divorce was finalized in September that same year. A month later he sent me a long message telling me how sorry he was, how much he loved me and that I didn’t deserve what happened to me. I never responded to him because I thought he was trying to manipulate me into talking to him again since I had moved on with my life.
In February of 2024 my ex’s sister reached out to me in hopes that I had been in contact with him after he sent her messages saying “save me” and turned his phone off. I told her I had not talked to him since September and that I hope he is okay. Apparently him and his fiancé at the time were having issues and he had mentioned to his sister that she was abusive to him and using him for money. There was nothing I could do but say, “I hope he’s okay” and “please let me know if he’s safe”. Eventually he called his sister back and she let him know that she contacted me about his whereabouts. She told me that he looked really sad when she brought up my name and he tried to change the subject and insist everything was okay with him.
He got married in February and a few months later on May 26th 2024 he attempted to take his life and succeeded. I just found out last night and I’m devastated, I can’t stop crying. I honestly don’t know how to cope with this. I feel like I should’ve checked up on him after his cry for help but I didn’t want to disrespect his wife and my fiancé. I didn’t think he would want to hear from me, despite everything he put me through I just wanted the best for him. I wanted him to be happy and beat alcoholism. I wanted him to live a long and healthy life with his partner. I know he hurt me but I was so in love with him and the person he was when he wasn’t drinking. I feel like he didn’t get to live the life he wanted because of the alcohol and depression. I don’t want to assume that a part of the reason why he committed suicide was because I was no longer in his life and cut all contact but what if it is part of the reason? He was not close with any of his family so I was all he had left. Should I have responded to him when he reached out to me in October? Am I allowed to feel heartbroken over this? Am I allowed to grieve over him?

I have been struggling with cystic, relentless acne along my cheeks and jawline. It has been getting better since I began to use the Inkey List’s Benzoyl Peroxide 5% every other night. and started using Adapalene Gel 0.1% a few times a week. I realized that I don’t have an actual exfoliation product in my routine but I did buy Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 25% AHA + 2% BHA Exfoliant Peel a while back before focusing on repairing my skin barrier. Now that I have a general control over my cystic acne, I do still have red scarring and clogged pores around my nose, lips & chin that this peel is meant to help. However, I do not know if this peel is too much to implement once a week or biweekly.
Full Routines:
AM: CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser, TO Hyaluronic Acid, La Roche Posay Double Repair Moisturizer, Mineral Sunscreen SPF 50
PM: The Inkey List Benyol Peroxide 5% every other night or CeraVe cleanser, Skin Smart Antiicrobial Spray, Skin1004 Centella Ampoule, TO Niacinamide + Zinc, La Roche Posay Double Repair Moisturizer, and Adapalene Gel every couple nights

Hi All,
I’m looking for a book or resource that delves into a specific scenario my business frequently encounters.
Here’s the situation:
In various cities, we have a solid base of supporters who purchase our products at regular prices.
However, id like to grow my business by pursuing new customers. Problem is, those new customers we want to buy from a cheap brand and thus when we pursue them they want a discounted rate because that’s what they pay with our competitors.
To grow our business, we’re considering a few options:

1. Lower the overall market price for everyone.
2. Offer discounts to new customers and hope our good, regular customers don’t find out.
3. Turn down the discounted requests and continue as usual, hoping our competitors don’t encroach on our existing customer base and we accept the fact that we won’t grow our business in that specific market.

Can anyone recommend books or studies that could help us navigate this challenge?
Thanks in advance!

So I’m 17 and it’s been a few yrs now since my mum is my main source of emotional support, which has done me more harm than good and I can’t seem to stop myself.
I keep telling her every little problem I have in my life and I feel the need to get validation from her that I am making the right choices in my life and I just want to feel loved as her daughter. But, I always set a trap for myself and it lead to her giving me the same advice that is unsolicited and seems very uninterested in me, to make me shut up.
For example, if I were to tell her that I was feeling sad because I’ve started uni this yr it’s been 5 months and I feel like no one in uni seems to like me and I feel like I haven’t made any friends (even if I have made acquaintances). Then her response would be “it’ll be fine over time” “this is why I’m telling you should go to church find friends there if no one likes you at uni.” And yes she is extremely religious pushing her religion onto me and nagging me to go to youth groups. I find it very uncomfortable because I have tried going and I feel that it’s not for me and I keep telling her but she always ignores me and throws a tantrum.
Also, It’s just annoying how she agrees to the fact that “I have no friends” even tho I expressed that I just feel that way. She would also all the time when I talk to her about my problems turn on her phone and watch loud YouTube videos mid way through me talking. It’s just extremely rude of her and when I point it out she pretends that it’s normal and rolls her eyes at me.
Worst of all my dad is not any better he would join mid convo with my me and my mum and say to me “your friendship life is not important and it’s irrelevant” he says it in a angry condescending tone to me as if trying to tell me off for trying to get emotional support.
Not only that but they won’t even let me go to therapy, I used to harm myself and they found out which I asked if I can get help but they told me that therapy is evil and medication is bad for your body, (religion related).
I have extremely low self esteem and I feel like I always make the wrong friends who are much similar to me depressed and likes to stay at home. I can’t make desicions for myself either I rely on my friends and my parents alot. I just feel like because of my parents, I don’t know if I am just victimizing myself or if they are truly narcissistic?

Anyone else?
I feel so stupid in literally any situation. My brain refuses to think it through or come to the right conclusion, especially when under pressure. It’s like I’m not on the ground, maybe a form of dissociation. I have to make my brain think instead of it be automatic. It’s on manual or something. And even then it’s no guarantee. It’s like a blockage. It’s like I’m learning how to think in everything I do whereas others understandably are clever or know how to think for themselves and figure it out by now. I get told I have 0 common sense. I could prepare like heck and still manage to mess it up whereas for everyone else it’s easy. I’ll make a decision and then someone/everyone will point out how I could’ve done something way more effective and actually right. I’m worried I’m doing everything else wrong now which I later find out I am or there’s a lot I didn’t know, that I apparently should know by now. Do I know it and am I ignoring it or do I actually not know it?
The more anxious I am the more I can’t think straight and I feel too scatterbrained to think it through and even then what happens after that?
Best analogy: Think of a log rolling towards you while you’re on a cliff. I’d just jump and hope I land back on the cliff (which I won’t because I didn’t think first, I just want to get out of the way) while others will plan it out while it’s rolling and for SURE to land back on the cliff.
I used to think that if I saw a cat jump from a building it’ll survive? Why do I always assume things will take care of itself or it’s not a big deal until someone points it out or it hits me on a random day like oh wait I could’ve died?
Is it? Possible ADHD? Odd way of thinking due to years of isolation? Years of depression brain rot? Super sheltered upbringing? Disassociation helping me not see how badly I am doing in life and me realizing I’ve never grew up being an active participant in life, always passive, like a rock? Failing out of school due to not grasping the concepts? Having zero friends or peers in formative years to learn from and question things and socialize thus would make me smarter and more inquisitive? Confidence? Self-assurance?

that shit made me feel like i died and got dropped straight into hell, it hurt SO BAD!!!! now i know what it’s nicknamed “superpain” 😭😭😭 i only had the bravery to do it once
will there ever be a point in my pole journey where it won’t feel like my skin is being ripped off and sacrificed to the devil? or is this just something we all just silently deal with forever? lol.

I don’t think I have ibs but I was hoping to find some consolation here 😭.
Honestly I’m still so ashamed and embarrassed but this story is also mostly funny. So I work on a boat as a scuba instructodive guide, and we were on our way to the first dive site and I was just standing around on my phone. My stomach was feeling pretty upset but I had just taken a bunch of medicine because I’ve been sick so I figured it was just the medicine.
I almost trusted a fart but then realized it would be a mistake. But then for some unknown reason I thought maybe it was a fart and I really really had to fart, and all the sudden I feel something in my pants and know I’ve just shit myself.
But it gets worse, I feel it run down my legs and see it on the floor. I make the split second decision to walk away calmly and pretend nothing happened because no one seemed to notice. So I casually walk over and face my ass to the dash so no one can see the diarrhea streaking down my leg. And moments later one of my coworkers was like “What was that???? Did someone poop their pants” And I’m just like “I have no idea”
And he started giving me a weird look and I really thought I was caught and considered just breaking and telling him and hoping somehow he’d understand. But I was determined to keep going so I just kept pretending I had no idea. And asked him if I should clean it up with an engine diaper (disposable cloth, not important)
And he’s like “I mean I would”
And then I go “wait I’ll go look and see if we have any toilet paper in the head” So I back myself down to the head, making sure to keep my butt facing the dash.
As soon as I’m down there I quickly wiped the shit off my legs with the diaper, throw it away and frantically checked to make sure you couldn’t see it on my shorts from the back. I was wearing white shorts.
And by some grace of God my crime was only visible from the bottom, again I was wearing white shorts. I can only believe that providence saved me.
Anyways I went back up with the toilet paper but another coworker had already rinsed it.
And then she came up to me and was like “Do you know what that was??? I mean I know what it looked like but…”
And again I was just like “I have no idea”
This was like 8:30/9 in the morning, beginning of the day, I’ve still got two dives ahead of me before we get back to the dock.
Thank goodness I was guiding that day that way I could rinse it all off 😭. Anyways I did the dives, texted my roommate and asked if she could bring me a change of pants, I told her “I perioded myself”. And then I asked off for the afternoon and was able to get cut.
Also my boyfriend was on the boat and was trying to get me to take his shift in the afternoon and I told him “Nope, I can’t be here anymore” And he begged me to tell him why but I couldn’t tell him then in case he gave me away by his reaction. So I texted him about it later.
All I could think about was number one how embarrassed I was, but number two (no pun intended) how in the hell did I get away with it????
I don’t know if no one truly noticed or if someone did and just didn’t have the heart to say anything. But either way glad the whole boat didn’t see it or I would’ve had to quit and leave the country.
I cried today just thinking about it. Idk how to look those coworkers in the eyes. And some people who I’ve told have said someone definitely had to know and just didn’t wanna say anything. So I’m so mortified because I don’t even know for sure no one saw. And I keep getting put on the same boat so I’m just reminded of it. What do you guys think, do you think someone knew?
TLDR: I shit my pants at work and it got on the floor, and I’m hoping no one saw.

In Fallout TV, I noticed many signs that the Brotherhood seemed close to winning the Brotherhood-NCR war. In Maximus' memories, the Brotherhood immediately appeared after Shady Sands was destroyed. In Fallout NV, the Brotherhood is defeated by the NCR and must hide in a bunker to avoid being pursued by the NCR army. Because the Brotherhood and NCR are enemies, the NCR will not allow the Brotherhood to be present near the capital Shady Sands. So, the Brotherhood's presence near Shady Sands has only one reason: the Brotherhood has almost won against the NCR. The Brotherhood soldiers in Maximus' memories were all equipped with T-60s. The T-60 is the standard Power Armor of the east coast Brotherhood. The West Coast Brotherhood only equips the T-45 and T-51. The East Coast Brotherhood is completely different from the West Coast Brotherhood. The East Coast Brotherhood is an empire that wants to conquer more territory. The East coast Brotherhood recruited many soldiers from the people of the Wasteland, so they overcame their weakness in numbers. West Coast Brotherhood lost to NCR because NCR had overwhelming numbers. The East Coast Brotherhood's ability to overcome its numerical weakness could be the factor that changes the battlefield. The Brotherhood's immediate appearance at Shady Sands after the city's destruction suggests that the Brotherhood is about to enter Shady Sands to finish off the NCR in the same way the Soviet Union entered Berlin in World War 2. In Fallout TV, the NCR has very weak presence in California. The remnants of the NCR army led by Moldaver are no different from the Raiders. Even the Raiders from Fallout 4 are capable of defeating Moldaver's army. The weakening of the NCR in Fallout TV has shown that the NCR army may have been defeated by the Brotherhood. Brotherhood in Fallout TV has operated publicly in California. The Brotherhood opened a military academy in California and that is where Maximus studied. The Brotherhood brought many soldiers from the east coast to the west coast. That shows the Brotherhood has overcome the logistical problems from Fallout 4.
From the above, I assume that the Brotherhood won the NCR-Brotherhood war.

(Disclaimer: this is essentially my life story, so I understand if you don't want to sit and read a full novel of some depressing fuck's cry for help, but I couldn't find a way to condense it, sorry.)
Life is shit right now. It's taken a long time for me to admit it, but there's just no more beating around the bush anymore. I'm trapped in a profound sadness that refuses to loosen it's hold on me, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to end it all, I never have, but I've just been through so much that it's hard to believe things could ever get better.
I'm 24(M), and 4 years ago I lost both of my parents, 10 months ago my girlfriend of 6 and a half years broke up with me, and just a few weeks ago the company I had been planning to work for over half my life shut its doors for good. Now I'm sat with no clear path forward and a brother trying to take what little I have left, and I just don't know how to move on.
I lost my dad on February 29th, 2020. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months for constipation, didn't think much of it, he was 68 after all. One night I come in to visit him in the hospital and I walk in on a surgeon explaining something to him and my mother. It turns out that results from the latest test had come in and a polyp had burst in his large intestine, he was quickly developing sepsis and if they didn't operate soon he wouldn't see the sunrise. A few minutes to sort his thoughts and make some calls to my aunts for advice and he decided that the surgeon who talked to us was more than welcome to operate since he offered, it just so happened he was one of the highest rated gastro-intestinal surgeons in Texas (don't know if I got the name of the surgeon right, my bad). So they prep him for surgery and as they wheal him off to put him under he grabs onto my hand, with tears in his eyes, and says "Take care of your mother." He had a look in his eyes, he didn't think he'd get to open them again. But sure enough a few anxiety-inducing hours later the surgeon comes back out and lets us know that everything went off without a hitch, they managed to remove the blockage and clean everything up without issue. Dad spent the next week in recovery at that hospital, but I only managed to visit him there once. I hate hospitals, but I love my dad, so when I saw him in there, all strapped up with hoses poking in and out of him, I put a smile on and rubbed his feet like I always did (he broke both his legs and shattered an ankle years ago, the man was lucky to walk to begin with, so you'd better believe I'd help in any way I could). That's the last picture ever taken of me and my dad, with him strapped to a hospital bed and me giving him a foot massage. The next time I saw him he had been discharged without me knowing, so I headed back home to our rural town late one night when he said I could visit. I'd had a lot to think about then, I'd always thought I had so much more time with Dad, that I'd only have to say goodbye when I was good and ready and he had seen us through our biggest moments. By then I wasn't so sure, so I sat with him on that Friday night and just talked, for as long as I could. I told him the little things I'd been hanging on to for far too long, the kinds of things that didn't matter in the slightest but you'd never tell your parents because you're too embarrassed. I told him about how I bumped into someone at a stoplight right after high school, but I convinced the other guy not to get insurance involved because I didn't want him to know and end up costing him more money, so I just used all of my savings and my graduation gift to pay the guy off after he replaced his rear bumper. All dad had to say about that was "you should have gotten insurance involved, that's what it's for." We laughed, and he thanked me for telling him, said it proved that I was the man he always wanted me to be. We talked about a lot, I tried to hug him tight, but since the surgery was on his gut they couldn't just stitch him up. He was so bloated before the surgery that he looked pregnant, so the skin around his gut was delicate and they had to bandage him up and put this weird circulator on him to keep it clean. Either way, I hugged him as best I could, told him I loved him, that he should take it easy, and that I'd talk to him soon. I remember looking through the door as I walked away, he was just laid up in bed watching TV. I gave him a peace sign as I walk off, he always did the same, whether we were looking or not. That was 9:30 PM. At 6 the next morning I woke to my mom calling me in tears, she said dad was gone. They had spoken after I left, talked about what we discussed, and he said he couldn't get comfortable in bed so he'd moved over to the recliner in the living room. He didn't wake up. Later on when we finally got the reports back they said he had passed peacefully in his sleep due to a heart attack. Dad had heart problems before, he had a quadruple bypass when I was about 8 and a stint placed in later on due to a murmur in his heart, and ever since he'd been taking meds. There were so many little details that stuck with me from that day. He was wearing a pair of socks I gave him when I came back on the 29th. The night before he said he didn't think he'd wake back up after the surgery, but he did, which meant God wasn't done with him yet. I still remember the sound of my mom's sobs from behind the wall of my bed, my brother and I stayed with her for the first week afterwards.
I was always aware that I had a great life, but I had never lost anything so major, never had something so horrid and life-changing happen to me. One moment I was getting used to my new classes for the semester in college, and the next thing I knew my life had flipped ass over teakettle and the world was imploding. The combination of the pandemic hitting right as I experienced the worse loss of my life, in the middle of my second year of college, certainly didn't help either. To be honest, it's still a blur. I don't remember much of those months, only that the days blurred together as I barely perceived time passing. The semester ended, and one day when my brother are checking on Mom, she suddenly rushed out the door with a sack of vodka bottles in tow, got in her car, and drove off to work. We had worried she may have fallen off again, but had been hoping against hope she wouldn't. Mom had been alcohol my entire life, I won't get into it, but when we went to her work and my brother drove her home, we had to carry her upstairs ourselves after she fell into a potted plant with vomit on her shirt. Not too long after we staged an intervention and had her checked back into rehab. At the end of her first month she would decide if she'd stay for a second and third, and despite the pleas of my brother and I, she wouldn't listen. We said we were done with her. We had given her all the love and support we could, but if that wasn't going to work then we'd resort to our only other option and cut her out. When she checked out of rehab I drove her home. I thought I could try one last time to talk some sense into her, that maybe she'd listen to reason. In the end she just ignored me, so I said everything I could think to say. If it was going to be the last time I got to talk to her, then I'd make use of that ride home and tell her everything I could think of. Just like Dad. I dropped her off at the family home, gave her a hug, told her I loved her, and watched as she got smaller in the mirror as I drove away. About a week later on July 9th, I got a call from my brother and my Aunt, her little sister. She was gone. They found her in a CVS parking lot in her car, upside down. She had been there for hours. We don't know exactly what happened. She may have had a seizure. All we know is that the reports came back with "complications due to alcohol abuse and fatty liver."
After that, the estate fell to my brother and I as the sole inheritors. I'm thankful for everyone that came out of the woodworks to help us. Our aunts helped with the will and all of the proceedings that came after. A lot had to be done, and a 20 year old still in college (me) and a 24 year old fresh out of college (my brother), were not the ones capable to taking care of it all. It took months to sort it all out. Hell, some of it never got resolved because we just never knew what to do. What matters is that we had the time and space to grieve, and so I did.
It turns out I've always had depressive tendencies, but at this point I had fully developed an Anxiety and Depressive disorder. It came to a head one Summer day when I just couldn't take it anymore. I'd always wrestled with the concept of Death, that after everything that happens in your life it all just ends, nothing, just an end to all, void, nothingness. I hated it. It stills sends me into panic attacks to this day, and has since I was a child. That Summer day I hit rock bottom, and I couldn't think of anything else, because what else could matter if it was all going to end anyway? Why should I care? I'm not going to care when I'm gone, so why care now? It's not like I'll be around to regret leaving if I chose to end it all. These were the thoughts that flooded my mind, and they wouldn't go away. I took a walk. I went through my neighborhood, cut through the trees at the cul-de-sac near the bottom of the hill, and came to a path that led to a nearly dry creak. the water was barely flowing, but I was sweaty and I wanted to sit. So there I sat and contemplated it all. The absolute inconsequentiality of life and all its meaninglessness. I looked down and saw a rock, picked it up, and thought to myself just how long it would take to bash my brains out and end it all right there. Sure it would hurt, but only for so long, then it would be gone, and I'd stop hurting. I don't know how long I really sat there looking at that rock, but eventually a family of four came walking down the path and I had to get up to get out of their way since I was sitting in the middle of the path. I dropped the rock, let them pass, and walked back home. after that I called my friends, got the name and number for their doctor, and booked an appointment later that week. Ever since then I've been medicated and I'm better for it. I don't believe in those thoughts anymore, but it scares me that I got to a point that I nearly listened to them. I've back to that creek bed since, and it's actually very pretty right after a storm, when all the trees are still dripping with rainwater.
Fast-forward a few years and it's May 2023, I struggled and I stumbled, but I felt like I had made progress. I felt far from past it, but I was moving on. I graduated with a Bachelor's in Science for Art and Entertainment Technologies. I didn't know exactly what I'd do with it, but I felt like I could figure it out with the city I was in. I went up to celebrate my girlfriend's graduation a few weeks later up in Missouri, we had been together for six and a half years. We met in high school in the same friend group, stuck through college in a long-distance relationship, and I thought we would go all the way. Over that summer after we both graduated she had to take one last internship to finish up her degree. I visited when I had the chance, but over the course of the summer I worked to make sure the house lived in would be ready for her, ready for two people to live in together once we finally started our lives together. She spent another two and a half months in Missouri, and the day she got back on July 29th she broke up with me. She had her dad drive her down the night before, and she spent that night with me after the long trip. The next morning after waking up and having breakfast, she sat me down and said she didn't think we should be together anymore. It was something she decided on over the Summer, she said she'd been thinking about it for a bit and finally had a gut feeling that we should split up. There wasn't anyone else, she actually explained that it was the opposite. She had lived her entire life with barely any privacy. As the middle child of 6 children she rarely, if ever, got a moment to herself. She only ever had one room to herself, but even then it was in a smaller house with 4 other people, and no locks on her door. When she left for college she had to share a dorm with her roommate, and when she came back for the Winter and Summer breaks she stayed with me (I also have a housemate, so even then the privacy wasn't perfect). Over the course of that last Summer she finally had a room all to herself, a single dorm for 2 and a half months. During her internship it was the exact same, she worked in an archive, which are quiet on a bad day and silent as the grave every other day. Couple that with the fact that she only ever work with one other person (her supervisor), and that's if they worked with anyone else there at all, for 40 hours a week. She told me that summer gave her the alone time she never had the chance to take before, and spent a lot of it thinking, spending all the time she never got before to be alone with her thoughts. A couple weeks before she came back she had come to the conclusion that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. She gave me a lot of reasons for want to split up, that being one of them. The biggest reason, one she said she couldn't ignore, was that she thought we were becoming two very different people. She said she didn't think we would work if we stayed together, that the way she saw us going, it just wasn't going to work out. She told me she still loved me, but when I asked if it was in the same way as before, she could only shake her head. I still regret asking that. She left with her sister later that day, and came back with her family the next to pack up all her things and leave. When she was busy inside, I took a moment to talk to them and ask if I did anything wrong, they all said no. They said she was just the most independent person they all knew, and that I had nothing to be sorry for. It didn't help. When they were done she gave me one last moment with her, one last tear-stained kiss goodbye, but when she turned in the driveway to hand me back the extra key to the house, I broke down. I stood by the door just long enough to watch their car fade from view as they drove away, then I went back inside and collapsed into a void of sorrow and self-pity.
That was 10 months ago. I'd like to say I've made progress, but some days it's hard to believe that. In the time since I've spent a lot of time on myself, learning who I was and what I wanted to be. The main sticking point I had with her reasoning was that she was so certain we were going to end up two completely different people, but I didn't even know who I wanted to be. If I didn't know who I was, let alone who I was going to be, how could she be so definitively certain? A lot of time and self-reflection brought up a plethora of questions I'd never thought to ask myself. With a rural backwoods public Texas education, it turns out that a lot of mental health issues can fall between the cracks. I found out that I'm on the Autism Spectrum (I get my full Psych Eval later this week, so that's nice), I learned that I'm demisexual, and also that I get extremely, soul-crushingly lonely when I'm single. All my best friends had to move out of state last February (it's a long story but I can explain if necessary), so when we split up I had next to no one to fall back on nearby. I had acquaintances and others I could call, but the people I loved the most were a 13 hour drive away. I made the trip when I could, but it just wasn't the same. It's ironic though, I found a therapy service through a podcast she introduced me to. I've been seeing a reliable and caring therapist for 9 and a half of the past 10 months, so I'm grateful for that. I've come to learn that even if the crushing loneliness hurts the most, finding a new relationship isn't the right step forward. I spent long enough trying to make that happen, now I know it can't fix anything, nor should it.
For a while I was starting to feel things turning around. Not so much getting better, but it was a start. Then It got to February, and along with it another tide of problems. My brother has always been the one to party, since he was in high school and all throughout college he was the one that got the drinks and people together. When we became independent he was the one that got on my ass about not wasting our inheritance and only using it when absolutely necessary. It's ironic then, that he was the one to call me in late Feb telling me he'd blown through it all and gone bankrupt. For this next part I need to provide some context, so I'm sorry if it drags on. I never planned on moving out of the family home, but mom and dad had waited long enough and wanted me out, so mom agreed to find a place for me to stay and provide housing until I graduated college. She was a realtor for a big real estate company for over 25 years, and it just so happened that the last neighborhood she sold from had a model home the company wanted to get rid of. She pulled some strings and in the end she got it for a steal, like half the market price for a house in the area, with a monthly payment similar to most apartments in the same city. I'm well aware of how privileged I was and still am to this day, I don't want people to think I don't recognize the luck I've been given. However, when our parents passed the entirety of the estate was split 50/50 between my brother and I. Meaning that the house that I lived in at the time, and still have for the past 4 and a half years, is only half mine. This never really sat well with me, so when I eventually brought it up with my brother and asked about becoming the sole owner of my house, he agreed that it was the right call. The problem, is that he told me that he hand over his half for half of what the house would be sold for at maximum market price. He didn't want what we'd paid for, he didn't want half of what it was bought at, nor did he want any reasonable price, he wanted the most amount of money he could get for a home that wasn't his, nor was ever meant to be his (I want y'all to know that I already feel like the most privileged asshole ever having typed all this out, sorry for sounding like a shithead). Somewhere along the way, he got it in his head that I had already agreed to pay what he wanted me to for his half, and when he called me late Feb and asked for money, he got upset with me when I told him that I didn't want to. He got angry and started talking about how I owed him for my house, how I already agreed to pay him and that he'd count whatever I gave him as the start to my payment for the property I've lived on for nearly 5 fucking years. I panicked, and though I regret it, I caved and gave him far too much money (more than I'm willing to admit), in hopes he'd leave me alone. Unfortunately over the past 4 months he's only gotten worse.
Before this time we (my brother and our Aunts) came to the conclusion that the family home we had turned into an Airbnb was no longer sustainable. While it had been profitable for a good few months in 2022, by late 2023 it had turned into a money sink. There was more and more wear and deferred maintenance popping up with each passing month that by the time 2024 rolled around we were forced to choose between selling it off or emptying the rest of our inheritance in an attempt to fix it back up with no promise that it would be worth it. It sucked to do it, I spend the first 20 years of my life in that house, but in the end we gave the go ahead and my Aunt helped us put it on the market when Feb rolled around. The housing market where it's built is extremely competitive, it's on the outskirts of a rural tourist town with a view to die for, so we didn't think it would be too much waiting around before we got an offer. That was 4 months ago, and we haven't heard a word since, even though the first estimate was 6 weeks to 6 months. The agent helping us with the house let us know that there were over 60 homes being sold in the surrounding area, with half of them at a very similar price point. I don't feel comfortable revealing exactly what the house is priced at, but to give an idea, the money I'd make off of selling it, even after being split in half and reduced by taxes, would be enough to completely pay off the mortgage on my house and then some. The kicker to all of this, is that the house isn't in perfect condition. Even considering all the detracting factors, I'd say the price we have the house listed at is more than fair for the area, but nobody wants to buy a fixer-upper at that price point, even if it is worth it. To make all these matter worse, I found out recently that my brother has STILL been holding house parties there, even though he has a perfectly good party place where he currently lives! I found out when my Aunt told me about a showing we were going to have, but my brother tried to call and tell her to postpone it because he was going to be having a party the day before the showing was scheduled. In the middle of all this, he texts me out of the blue, trying to get me to talk to him and discuss something. I'm having none of it and tell him that if he needs to get something off his chest, he can text me or leave me alone, I don't want to talk. So he ends up sending me full fucking paragraphs, going on about how he's hit rock bottom, how we have to close the joint account we've been using to pay all the shared bills and expenses, and how he's so sorry for being a shitty older brother. Near the end of it he throws in how he recently lost his girlfriend to a drunk driver and that he's in mourning. I went digging and it turns out the girl he mentioned, who did tragically pass in an accident and was heavily mourned in the community, was not in a relationship with him for the past year and a half. I didn't know this until a month later though, so this all came out of the blue in a time where I just wanted to be done with him, so now I had no clue what to think. The way he spoke and said all the right things to make me feel for him hurt, it made me want to drive over to his house and throw my arms around him and tell him that he'd be okay and he wasn't alone. Then we found out about the party, and he never stopped using the joint account for all the bullshit personal spending he'd been using for before at liquor stores and bars, so I got to see first-hand what all he was spending both of our shared funds on (this is only one account I put money into when we need to pay bills, the majority of my money is in my own personal savings account that he doesn't have any access to). In short: he made it real obvious that everything he said to us was a complete and total lie, after pleading with me and making me take on the task of cancelling half the bills we had tied to the joint account just to save him the time and effort. He manipulated me, and it was plain as day to see it.
Now I'm at a point where I just have to wait for something to happen. I can't do a damn thing to change my shitty situation with my brother and my home. I want to cut him off, become fully independent, and leave all the trauma I have with him, but I literally can't. I have to wait until the family house is sold or he tries to come after me and my livelihood. I tried my best to research my options, but there's nothing I can do with my house unless he signs over his portion to me, and he won't do that unless he gets what he wants. The only thing I've been able to think of is that I could possibly take him to court and argue that his actions caused the selling price of our family home to go down, but I don't even know if that's possible or what it would do for me. I don't want to sue my brother, I just want to be done with him. I want to scream and yell and make him understand the stress he's put me through, make him feel the pain he's caused me my entire life just for wanting him to like me. I want to make him know just how much it hurts to have put so much effort into someone that was never going to care in the first place, but more than anything, I just want to be done with him.
I did the math, and unfortunately I now know that I have a time limit for the family home to be sold. Meaning that if the home isn't sold by the new year and we have to pay the property taxes again, I'll be the one taking the full brunt of that responsibility. If that happens I will either not have enough money in my savings to cover that cost, or I'll have just enough to pay for it and have nothing left. Either way, with how much the maintenance of everything has been draining our finances, I'd have to sell my current home to pay for the costs after property taxes are dealt with. It would solve so many issues if I just sold off my house, but it would hurt so God damn much. I've put so much effort into this house to try and make it feel like a home, make it feel like my home. When the world was falling apart and I lost everything else, this one house and the memories I made here were what kept me going. There are days where it feels like it's all I've got left. The last thing I want is to lose this house. I know I'd end up fine. I'd have funds left over to take care of me after it's sold, and the family home would sell eventually, but none of that would matter. I can see how long I might have left in this house in the pages left on the calendar hanging from my wall, and all I can do is wait for the other shoe to drop to see if I'm losing this too. All I can do is sit and fester in this shitty void of depression and anguish while I wait to find out what happens. I hate it.
When I didn't think anything could get worse, just a handful of weeks ago I idly checked Facebook and saw that my ex, the love of my life, had found herself a new boyfriend. Soul-crushing couldn't begin to describe what I felt. I thought I'd made progress, thought I'd said goodbye to my desire to rekindle what we once had. I thought I'd finally started to move on, but I suppose I didn't know how wrong I could be. She had changed her profile picture to one with her and him standing together, arm in arm. She looked so God damn gorgeous. I couldn't get over the fact that she had never done that when we were together, I guess I still haven't. I'm not even mad at her, or him, or anyone, I'm just in pain. I want her to be happy, she deserves to be happy, but all I can focus on is just how much I miss her. I saw her post about how they went to the zoo and it broke me. I've checked her Facebook so many times and I know I shouldn't, I keep telling myself that it's only going to hurt, but I still do it and it always breaks me down even more. For a short time she changed her picture to a different one and removed her relationship status, so I thought they had broken up. I feel guilty for even admitting it but it made me feel hope, like we still had a chance. I didn't want to give in to that feeling and set myself up for disappointment, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe she thought of what we had and there was a chance that the knowledge of who we were now would be enough to start something new. But I was wrong. She changed it to a new picture of the two of them a few days later, and it broke me all over again. It's strange, every time I start to feel like something is working, like I'm making some kind of progress, another bombshell comes hurtling around and blindsides me. I keep trying to get back on my own two feet, and I keep getting knocked back down. I feel myself becoming more and more jaded throughout all of this, and I'm trying so hard not to let myself become that. I feel the desire to just give up building more and more as the hurdles keep tripping me up, and I hate how appealing it's started to become. I'm just trying to find out who I am GOD DAMNIT, why can't anything just go fucking right.
I haven't had the motivation to do anything, it's always been an issue in my life that I've constantly fought against. From applying to college to finishing finals, I've only ever done the work that was most important when I had no other choice and at the last possible moment. Motivation and passion; these are the two things I've struggled with the most for the past year. I always knew that if I was going to find fulfilment in life, those would have to be my two guiding lights, or I'd end up sad and disappointed no matter where I found myself. Nothing seems to help, I can have fun when I make the conscious effort, but it doesn't feel the same. Now more than ever I've been putting in so much effort just to find out where I'm meant to be and what I'm meant to do. I've done and tried so many different things just to gain a better understanding of who that guy in the mirror staring back at me really is. I know I've made progress, logically it cannot be ignored that the steps I've made to get to the point that I have in life have done something, but it's gotten just so damn hard to see, and even more so to believe. There are days where I go through all the motions, I wake up, I eat, I do the things that I used to enjoy, but all I can think about is her and the amazing times we had. I think about all the plans we had together, the plan I had to ask her to marry me, the life we planned on building together. It just doesn't stop, but I'm doing so much to try and move forward. I just don't know if it's doing anything, if I'm just spinning my wheels in place while waste away on the inside. I schedule weekends where I can get away from it all and take a trip somewhere a few hours away, because even if I could be doing something else while I'm here, even I can recognize that a change in scenery and something new could always help. Sometimes it does help, other times it just feels like a distraction, and other times it just brings me back to the trips I used to take with her and the only thing I can think about is how much fun we'd be having if we were there together.
I used to think I knew what career I wanted in life. From a very young age I only ever wanted to work for the same company that produced the shows I grew up watching online. The things they made got me through so many darker times, and made the bright ones all the better to remember. I picked up new hobbies and learned new skills just to try and have an edge when I finally worked up the courage to apply for a job. I even picked up 3D modeling in high school just to get a head start from the inspiration their shows gave me. Then everything went to shit in my life, I lost nearly all direction, and I ended up too little too late. Two weeks ago the company that I'd been following for over half my entire life shut its doors for good, and I got to see one of my life-long dreams turn ash. At least I got to be there to say goodbye. They gave a lot to me, so I'm happy I at least got the chance to let them know that before they were gone.
I want to move on, I really do. Amidst the maelstrom of everything that's happened to me, and the deluge that still is happening to me, it just feels impossible that I ever could move on. I only just made my first resume last week for the first job I've every applied to, and it's at a retail store with nothing to do with what I studied in college. I want to make progress in life. I want to live. But I feel like I haven't had a life to live for so long now, and I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for the novel-length text dump of exposition and self-pity, I just didn't know what else to turn to.

I 21F started dating this guy 20M a few months ago. he is the sweetest most down to earth caring cutest guy i’ve ever met. i pinch myself every day because i can’t believe i’m so lucky. he’s so kind and funny and my best friend. he’s a welder and makes quite a bit of money for someone our age. i however work in a restaurant and am still in college. i’m not totally broke but i don’t have a ton of money as i only work part time at a really crappy place and pay tuition etc.
he pays for EVERYTHING like every single date we have he pays and for my birthday he got me nice presents (nothing too crazy probably spent like $100 in total) and even bought my vape when mine ran out. even though i had the money and was getting it for myself and we were just hanging out. he insists to pay because “it’s my job” and don’t get me wrong it is so so sweet. and i know once you get married it’s not so much your money and my money it’s our money even though you may have separate smaller accounts you still kind of just use both your money.
i really really appreciate it but i feel guilty. i don’t want to be seen as a gold digger or that i just like that he pays for stuff. it’s nice but i know how hard i work for my money and how hard he works for his and i feel bad when he pays all the time. like dates i won’t complain but he doesn’t have to pay for EVERYTHING just because we’re hanging out together. i’m scared people will think i just like him for his wallet and i don’t want to be a huge financial strain for him. i’m scared he’s gonna get sick of paying for me and i don’t want to seem shallow. i trust and love him i’m just really insecure and always expect the worst and i’m worried he’ll get sick of it and people will accuse me of being with him for his money. it’s really attractive that he’s a hard worker and makes good money like that’s a nice thing but it’s not entirely why i like him yaknow? i have my own goals it’s not like i just want his money but it’s nice to have finacial stability in a future husband if we have kids one day. do i tell him why i feel guilty or just let him pay?

Idek where to start with this so ima just flat out say I genuinely have no idea what to do and it’s starting to genuinely get to me. I’m 16 living in nc and trans mtf, I havnt told anyone close to me abt it because of the way I’ve heard them talk abt trans people. I’ve known I was trans since I was abt 11 and ever since then I’ve struggled with the idea of it because of the indoctrination and bigotry spewed by those closest to me. My parents and friends will say the most transphobic shit I’ve ever heard and I just have to go nod along in silence listening to them say some terrible things abt us. Because of this I fear they would disown me if I even tried to tell them because they are brainwashed to a degree that I didn’t even know was possible. Every day I sit and watch myself become more and more masc and it makes me sick to my stomach because I don’t want to be. I wish I could go on blockers or something but if were to bring it up to my parents they would tell me “that’s Satan trying to get you to follow him”. At this point I’m depressed and can’t even talk abt it to anyone I know because I know that I would just be ridiculed and demonized. It got so bad that I started smoking to get away from my problems at 15 and just recently quit because it was doing damage to me. My heart feels heavy all the time and I barely even have the motivation to get up half time. I tried to ask my parents for a therapist but they were only willing to let me see a Christian one so I declined fearing that I would just be told “I wasn’t actually trans and it’s just demons or something”. I hate it so much and it makes me so sad. I was lucky enough to be born with a somewhat fem face and body but I’m afraid that if I don’t start taking some form of hrt soon I won’t be able to even look in the mirror soon because if it hurts now I don’t even wannna imagine what it’ll feel like a couple years down the road. I alr know that when I’m 18 I’m gonnna take the initiative and start seeing a my own therapist and get hrt but having to cope with the fact that when I’m 18 I’ll probably have to go no contact with my entire family pains me to an overwhelmingly far extent. I love my family and my friends I just wish they weren’t so bought into their cult and would see me the way I see them. I just need advice on what I should do because it hurts so much. If you read Ths far thank you for your time it rly means a lot to me:)

18mo Schedule is: 12.30-2.30 (or 1-3) nap 7pm bedtime
She goes to bed without help and sleeps through.
She used to wake at 6.15. That was a bit early but fine.
Then it was 5.45 for like months.
Last few weeks it’s 5.30 now we’re at 5.15 if we’re lucky. Today it was 4.50.
It’s killing me. She won’t go back to sleep. She screeaaammmmms endlessly if you go in but don’t take her downstairs.
Some days she wakes up babbling, but mostly she’s cranky.
I have no idea what to do, please send suggestions!
I’m thinking of moving my preschooler out for 2 weeks and trying to put extra black out blinds in, do white noise all night and just keep putting back to sleep until 6am but I know she’ll be screaming bloody murder from the moment she wakes until 6am, which I’m dreading (I did CIO/Ferber with both kids so I don’t mind it in principle but it’s so loud and she’s so angry)
Any suggestions about the sleep schedule or if she’s just chronically tired now from the early wakes and how to fix it?!

Hey T,
I suppose I might have heard from you today. My logical brain read TTYL being by the end of the day maybe. That was me being hopeful. No worries, I should have 1 more day before I’ll be inaccessible for 10days. Look I know you’re somewhere around this site. Idk which subs you actually frequent. I only recognized the app layout until you got protective of your screen. Not my right to wonder, let alone to care. This is me just filling time and not annoying you more than I already do. If you do see this I’m sure I’ll never know…. That’s the fun of it lol. Lord I couldn’t imagine you giving me that kind of attention. I love you all the same. Best friend, partner, confidant, adopted family?!?! lol. Label it whatever, certain boundaries in place so you stay comfortable. Your healing journey, continues and I’ll stand with you along the way. Again, Sorry I tested your heart yesterday. It was necessary to protect mine as well. I wont bother you. If I don’t hear from you before my sentence then I will send one msg as I got in so I don’t have a repeat of last night.
🫶🏻 K

A grampa like to tickle her grandaughter... brom beyond
https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1d2w3vc/can_my_daughter_see_ghosts/
Can my daughter see ghosts?May 28th 2024, 22:09, by Dearm000n
Disclosure: this is a 100% true story about my daughter, years ago. But it’s always left me wondering
One night I was getting dinner ready for my family. I was in the kitchen cooking while my daughter played Keepy uppy with a balloon in the dining room. She was laughing and giggling like I had never heard her before. I watched from the kitchen and just smiled as I continued cook dinner. All of a sudden I hear squeeling from my daughter, pure and UTTER joy coming from her. The only time I ever heard her this excited was if she was being chased or tickled. I look up at her but again, she’s playing by herself with a balloon.
I thought nothing of it after this, clearly she’s just playing with a balloon. I continued to brown my meat and add my onion and as I’m grabbing my can opener for my tomato sauce I heard a loud blood curdling scream. I dropped my can opener and sliced my finger slightly on the edge of the can. I jerked my head up at her scream which to my surprise, was followed by a fully belly laughter from my daughter. Now, she isn’t doing anything wrong she’s just playing BUT this is when I started to notice she isn’t playing alone. I called out to her. “Bella, can you please lower your voice, your scream scared me and I accidentally cut my finger on the can when startled.” “Yes mama.” She replied. I stood there just watching her for a second. I watch her play all the time but this particular time was just… different.
As I stood there, she continued on as normally as possible. I thought, hmm… maybe it’s just me being weird. I went back into the kitchen to continue cooking dinner. I walk over to my boiling water to start putting my pasta inside when I hear yet another ear ringing scream from my daughter. At this point it was a little annoyed I won’t lie because she’s not normally so rambunctious. I whipped my head around and before I could get any words out I saw my daughter. Ballon gone. Curled up on the floor completely out of breath from laughter. Face red, veins popping from her neck, utter and total tickle lock up. If you are ticklish then you know what I mean. She finally gasped for breath and shouted “Stop it Paw Paw it tickles!!”
My face went cold, my body went as still as stone, my eyes got massive and I choked on my next words. She didn’t even see me looking at her, she had no idea anything going on around her except for whatever she was seeing infront of her. The thing is…my dad has been dead for 14 years and she has never met him. She is aware he dead.. She has been out to his gravesite with me several times but she’s 5. She doesn’t fully understand what it is or why he’s there. I have never told her details, I have never told her anything about him or what happened to him. She sees pictures and she knows he’s my dad but that’s it.
I turned my burner off, dinner be damned right now, and I walked over to my daughter. She shot up to her feet and went to go after her balloon again but I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. I just stared at her with tears in my eyes. I said, “who are you talking to in here?” And she smiled and pointed to my wall. It’s empty there isn’t even a photo there so I look, turn back to her and say, “I don’t see anyone, but it sounds like someone was making you laugh, yeah?” My daughter old looked me right in my eyes and said “it’s paw paw, he was tickling me and playing keepy uppy with my balloon!” (pause: she doesn’t call him pawpaw bc she doesn’t know him and she doesn’t have a paw paw. My husbands dad is alive but they don’t speak so my sweet baby doesn’t have a grandpa at all. so idk who told her to say that if not…him.)
I pulled her into my lap and started to talk with her because clearly she is seeing something I can not. So I asked her, “what does he look like!?” And my daughter’s answer haunts me to this day and I can’t stop thinking about her reply. She said “He has a big cut on his head and he said his head hurts from being under the dirt.” My jaw hit the floor and I went from curious to horrified. I have NEVER and would never tell my young child the details of my dad’s death BUT, he was ejected from his truck in a roll over accident and bashed his head on the concrete. He stayed in a medically induced coma for a week before being declared brain dead. We burried him in my family cemetery. He DID have a big gash on his head and now he’s under the dirt. How my daughter would be able to tell me any of that is beyond anything I know. I have no answer for it other than my dad came to play with my baby.
After that she started seeing him even more. One afternoon I was folding laundry and I heard her talking to someone in my bedroom. When I hollered for her to come to me, she did. I asked her who she was talking to and she said “it’s paw paw but he’s crying” and I asked “he’s crying!?” And she took my hand and brought me to my bed room and pointed at the bed. As if I was supposed to see him, but I didn’t. I said “why is he crying?” She turned right around with confidence and said “paw paw why are you sad?” A moment of silence passed and I just kind of looked around… somewhat skeptical. Then, she looked up at me and said “he said they’re happy tears bc he loves you and me.” Took my breath away, I love him too.
Any other things have happened since then but this first time experience has always left me wondering… Im wondering, can my daughter see ghosts… and is my dad stuck?? Has he been stuck for 14 years??
submitted by Dearm000n [link] [comments]

Okay guys, title is pretty clear; I’ve been suspecting for a while now that there was another entity sharing my home with me but tonight I finally have proof.
So I was leaving work at 9pm my time and my husband texts me to hurry home because he needs me there he’s really freaked out, but won’t tell me until I got home. Come to find out, our daughter (5y) was in her room playing when she ran out to the living room where he was and was super scared saying she heard someone laughing in her room but she knew none of her toys made that noise. It’s not the first time something weird has happened regarding her room but it’s always just been a kind of feeling like someone is watching me when I walk by there. Sometimes the corners seem darker than they should be, and at night, I swear it feels like there’s something solid in those dark corners. Idk how else to describe it besides that skin-crawl feeling that starts at the base of my skull and spreads all over my entire body. I burned sage in every room, doorway, corner and window of my house when we first moved in, but somehow this thing found its way inside and is attached to my daughter’s room. I refuse to allow this to continue and I need advice/insight on how to get rid of it. I’m fairly new to spellwork and I don’t know much. But I feel that if I don’t find a way to rid our house of this entity that my daughter might be affected and I will not let that happen. Thanks for reading

my baby girl, Leilah is going through it with the seasonal allergies right now and her nose is getting really dry and chapped!
we try to keep a humidifier running all the time since we are in AZ and it’s extremely dry here! we bought snout soother from petco and we keep applying it but she just starts licking it off immediately!
we’ve tried distracting her with treats and it doesn’t work! the only thing that kind of works is holding my hand above her mouth, or a bandaid or gauze on her nose, but it’s difficult to do that for 10 minutes straight!
does anyone have any advice? thanks in advance!!🖤🤍🤎🩶

I don’t even know where to begin. I feel a little guilt posting in MIL from hell because she could be worse. I just need advice in dealing with someone who is the polar opposite of me personality wise. I’m super introverted. I didn’t want a big wedding and instead had a little courthouse wedding and we bought our first home instead of spending on a wedding. My parents wouldn’t have been able to pay for a wedding anyways but she was upset and said she would have helped. She always wanted a daughter and had 3 boys. When I married her son she offered to help me decorate my new house which I politely declined and had my husbands full support. he doesn’t like his moms taste either. She has a lot of friends and is super extroverted. She told everyone that I was pregnant as soon as we told her. My husband was upset because he wanted to tell some family and she beat him to it. I expected it knowing her. Recently I went on a family trip, I took my parents, and husband. We met up with my uncle, cousins and their husbands. Well we got back from trip and I felt her a little off with me. She’s offended that she wasn’t invited. Here’s the deal, I paid for the airbnb where my husband and I stayed with my parents. I took my car and paid for the gas. We mostly cooked at the Airbnb but when we did go out to eat a couple times my parents and I paid for our meals. My MIL expects to be invited on our family trips but never contributes and she expects her son to pay for her and my FIL. There’s this cultural difference in parenting styles and mentality where it’s like she had her kids to take care of her in old age and my parents don’t want to be a burden and never took the money I earned where as my husbands parents did up until he was old enough to move out. I feel like saying something but don’t want to stir anything. I want her to understand that my parents live half of the year out of the country they leave next month and won’t be back until winter so I wanted to spend time with my parents and extended family that I don’t get to see all the time. I see my MIL more often than my own mom. Her entitlement really bothers me. She’s jealous of the time my husband spends with my family when they are here and I have heard comments that she feels her son chooses me over her. I tell my husband to visit his mom. She did this not me. My family loves him and he likes to spend time with them. They’ve adopted him and he’s a little traumatized by his parents so he feels obligated to visit them but only tolerates them for a bit and then is ready to leave. My mom spoils him, cooks for him and my dad treats him like another son. I think he gets the affection he always craved from my parents. Anyone have a MIL like mine and how do you deal with her? Sometimes I feel like I’m the problem I’m not the DIL she wanted. She would have loved one that’s as extroverted as her, likes parties and talking on the phone and includes everybody in everything. But that’s not me.

Long post ahead but I’ve been researching for months now and I’ve found SO many women battling with the same post quitting their birth control. Here’s my story. I AM NOT a medical professional but my SIL is - and has given me life saving context to what I’ve been going through.
Backstory: I went on birth control about a year ago, together with spironolactone for acne. Yaz and 100mg of spiro. My skin went through a rollercoaster and was the clearest it had ever been. I also lost a bunch of weight (which is a well documented effect of both, YAZ & Spiro). Fast forward a year and I got married and had a work trip come up to Japan. Here’s where it got crazy.
I was already cutting down on my spiro for months now - down to 50mg a day (2 tablets) with zero side effects. Now I was expecting to lose some weight in Japan bc of my diet (vegetarian without egg). I head to Japan, take my pill & spiro daily. Not too much food but im hitting my calories AND im doing a good 20k steps (up to 30k on some days) daily. For 15 whole days. I swear I thought I was coming back lighter. I come back home, quit birth control and head to the gym and have the shock of my life. From 53 kg I was up to 56.9kg in 15+ days. Wtf.
I buck up and start gyming 3/4 times a week. Focus on protein, calorie counting, steps. The whole nine yards. 2 weeks later Im up to 59 kg with absolutely ZERO change in muscle. FML. I start inositol, vitamins, potassium rich foods waiting for some damn results. Im getting bulkier and somehow puffier. WELL SH*T.
Finally, one full month later I do blood work - my cholesterol which has always been normal (with high good cholesterol) is out of whack. My bad cholesterol is UP! I check my thyroid? She’s fine. Insulin is stellar (4.6 POST MEAL? Maybe im hypo but thay doesn’t explain anything). Everything else is simply perfect. How the f*ck did I gain 6+ kilos and pump up my cholesterol with all that exercise, clean eating, calorie counting AND on a damn vegetarian diet?
Simply put by my doctor SIL. Birth control. Withdrawals to be precise.
So I played the waiting and weighing game. Threw away my fitness pal. And just trusted my body with clean eating and inositol. My period rolls around and voila. Im down to 56. Dropping pounds daily. Turns out estrogen loves fat. Loves it enough to have completely changed my body shape while getting off. Seriously my hips went up almost 4 inches and are suddenly going back to normal now. I also had moon face, terrible gas and bloating, highly irritable. Basically nightmare body and mind.
Maybe this isn’t everyone’s experience but if someone else is out there frantically looking to understand if quitting birth control causes weight gain and all this other slurry of shit. YES it does. Youre not alone. Be patient.
What worked for me: • cutting the stress (it fucks w your hormones and holds fat) (i.e. stop calorie counting and obsessing) • inositol, b vitamins and probiotics (your body is depleted of them post hormones) • WAIT for that damn first period. It does wonders.

Curly hair extensions
I’ve been researching for days and can’t find anything. I’ve been hating my hair since I was younger and I’m finally trying to wear my curly hair as I fried it and I had to cut it short while I’m trying to grow it out I want to have extension so I can be comfortable wearing it naturally but I can’t find any that match. I want to get weft. if anyone has experience, please let me know. I would appreciate any information that you’ve tried how long they lasted in one wear. Where to buy etc. i’ve heard that virgin hair after a week of wearing it gets matted and gross looking? Any experience would be nice to hear about. I think I am 2c3a

How does text messaging work because it’s never consistent lmao. I’ve had at least 3-4 people today come up come up and show me their text message saying their Rx was ready but there wasn’t anything for it in their profile. I’d check for other profiles and central search the profiles I did find but still nothing. I really don’t understand how people are getting messages for things that don’t exist and it’s really getting harder and harder to advertise this system when I have patients cutting me off talking about how bad it is lol